A Small List Of Things Best Left Out Of Your Story

I love to read. There's nothing better than settling down with a good story, especially fan fiction. After all, we all get a lot of enjoyment seeing the further adventures of some our favorite characters put into new situations. In fact, the only thing that puts a damper on such pleasure is when a fan fiction author writes in a manner so teeth grating, it gives you violent urges. So why is it that a lot of fan fiction writers fall into the same traps of predictability, mediocrity, and just plain-gawd-awfulness time after time on such forums as RAAC and FFML for all to endure? Are not writers of fan fiction also readers? Do they actually want to write something that they would normally gag over? Or if they do have a good idea, why can they not get it to come across without the readers rubbing their temples and sighing? And what are these traps, anyway, and why can some writers notget out of them?

I would like to believe they are just not aware of what they are doing.

So, with that in mind, I have come up with a basic guide of things *I* wish people would take into consideration before starting their next fiction. I can only hope that you get some benefit from these ideas. If not for your own sake, then how about for the sake of your readers? This is not meant to be insulting to anyone in particular at all. I do not feel that running someone in the ground is a particularly good way to affect change. Essentially, my hope is to throw an idea out there so that we might all be better for it. So, try reading what I have to say and see if you 1. agree with it, and 2. whether or not some of the things could help your stories become more enjoyable for a lot more people.

Know Your Audience

Fiction is written for a lot of reasons: to entertain, horrify, shock, thrill, etc. But, they all have one thing in common - someone has to read the story all the way through to get what you are saying. Now, some might say, "Hell with your guide! I am going to write what I want and how I want it!" Well, okay, that is fine. It is your time to spend as you see fit, but if you write in such an annoying way that no one wants to finish your fiction, what is the point? After all, fiction is written and posted to be read and absorbed, right? So, you might consider your audience just a bit. Sure, you do not have to create your plot just to make them happy, but you certainly should not drive them to insanity by writing badly.

Self-Insertion

A lot of people have an opinion on this, so let us get it out of the way immediately. Some people love SI, some people hate it. Personally, I happen to believe that all fan fiction is self-insertion, because we are pulling from within our own knowledge and life experiences to create new situations, feelings, and responses in the characters, even if we did not originally create them. After all, you are taking those characters into realms they have never charted, so their inspiration has to come from somewhere, right? That inspiration is the author, so does that not make it SI to some degree, automatically? Now, certainly there are levels of SI, ranging from slipping your own beliefs within the realm of a particular character to a lightning bolt hitting some otaku and sending him or her into their favorite show. The decision on what level of an SI to write or to read is one of personal preference, and does not by default make for good or bad fiction. *How* you write SI, however, does.

Mix Ingredients in Bowl and Beat Rapidly

One day an ordinary guy is walking down the street. He gets hit by a kangaroo and wakes up fifty years in the future in MegaTokyo. Three paragraphs later, he is a full member of the Knight Sabers.

Okay, whoa. Slow down. While some fan fiction is made to be fast paced, the leaps you take to get a story moving right away maystrain credibility with your readers. In this example, Sylia Stingray is highly suspicious of strangers and very protective of her team. Even if your character was to save her life in the opening paragraph, she is not going to let you anywhere near her team, much less wear a Hardsuit without some incredible circumstances, a lot of time, and a heck of a lot of trust and sacrifice. It is not in the nature of Sylia to do otherwise in the context of her defined character, and when you force her to do different, your reader will scratch his head and think, "Hey, that would never happen like that. Lame."

There is nothing wrong with building a plot. There is nothing wrong with a story taking a little time. I do not know why so many stories out there tend to fall in the three to five page in length range (unless those people do not like to write or they do not have time to do more), but you are not going to do much for the story or your reader if you cram a saga-sized plot into a few pages.

Wow, I Didn't Recognize You

(This relates to the above section) If you start skimping on one area of writing, it is going to affect the others. Often the first to go is characterization. A writer is so anxious to get a desired result, that he bends the boundaries of a known character, like Sylia Stingray, to make the plot work. Only it does not work, because the most inattentive reader will think, "Hey. This character would not act like this unless something pretty significant over time had caused him or her to grow and change... only, nothing like that has happened as far as I have read." So, why do writers do this? I think because most find it the easiest way to get out of the plot corner they have painted themselves into. "Man, I've written myself into a dead end. I could spend a lot of time developing an intricate plot, perhaps even rewrite several pages to fix it... ooooor I could just make this character drop its entire persona and ideals for a split second."

Hrrmmm. I wonder which is the path of least resistance for a writer? Sure, you have saved yourself the agony of rewriting pages or actually thinking of a complex plot, but what good is it? You have compromised the character.

Size Does Matter... ?

(This also relates to the above section) I have read a lot of wonderful short stories in the one to five page range by a host of writers, both fan-fic and professional. So, certainly size is not the judge of the worth of story by itself. Surprise, it is content... *and* size! I guarantee a three page story encompassing all 1001 nights of the search for Ifurita by Makoto is *not* going to work. It would have to be so vague, so random, and so incredibly trite that anyone who did read it would probably forget you wrote it five minutes later. A three page story about one sleepless night for Makoto as he struggles with his failures to find Ifurita, on the other hand, might be something your readers remember for a long time. Then again, a fifty page dissertation on that one night, while going into great detail, might put your readers to sleep.

Use your head. Make the story as long or short as feels comfortable, but make sure you are trying to connect with the audience.

It is Not the Destination, But the Journey

Okay, I'll go along with that. After all, three thousand years worth of monks pondering that idea can not be wrong. But for all the wisdom it says, those monks all had a destination in mind, whether to be better people, wiser minds, temper their spirits, whatever... they all had a goal and reasons for choosing their lifestyle. The journey is important, but without a destination to aim for, it is only meandering.

So, does your story have a goal, a purpose, and most importantly, an ending? If you start writing with an ending in mind, say, "I want this character to achieve this by the end of the story" you are in no way dictating how that character is going to get there. You can reach that ending however you want to, but the important thing is you know what you are trying to achieve. Who knows? Perhaps the ending you finally do reach will be nothing like what you intended in the first place, but without that initial direction, you are just rambling, and the reader is going to sense it.

Readers like to be guided. Why do you think we read fiction in the first place? Well, to be given a tour by the author in his world that brings us a story and a conclusion of some kind. Most readers will probably get pretty frustrated if the author does not give them a sense of direction after too long. How long is too long? Well, that is tricky. There is a fine line between the suspense of not knowing and riding along lost with someone who refuses to ask for directions.

Plot is a Four Letter Word

One day Yuriko was walking home after her last shift of work. Then out of nowhere, Miyuki and Natsumi came screeching around the corner in their mini-patrol car, ran over Yuriko, and drove off giggling insanely. The End.

That *is* an exaggeration of a fic without a plot, but it illustrates the nature of some of the fiction written out there. Namely, the story is nothing but a flash of an event, be it serious or comedic, that gives no background, no reason for the action, and no consequences for what happened. It is as if the author loathes plot or thinks the reader will be totally mesmerized *just* by the blurb of action. Again, if you want to write that sort of thing, knock yourself out, but the how much is the reader going to get into it? Would *you* rather read that, or a fic with a real story behind it?

Don't Go There

Now, I can not sit here and say, "Do not put these things in your fiction," because who am I to make that decision for you? However, I can say, "These things have been put in too many fictions too many times," and perhaps it would be keen not to rehash these themes or ones like them:

Relationships With a Main Character by the Second Paragraph

Your new character is scraping gum of his shoe when he gets tackled by Rei Ayanami, who instantly proclaims her unrequited love for that character, whom she has never met before. There are a whole lot of  "wrongs" with a situation like this, not the least of which is Rei is out of character, why would anyone tackle a guy scraping gum off his shoe and fall madly in love with him for that, or a host of other issues. This relates back to *plot* and *rapid insertion* as well. Granted, this is an extreme example, again, but how many people do you know meet someone and are locked in some serious relationship two paragraphs later? Yet, why is it done in stories a lot? It strains the reader's ability to suspend disbelief and get into your story. Take some time to build a relationship. Take some time to have some antagonism, even. Every couple that ever walked the Earth did not fall in love at first site. Heck, quite a few probably hated each other first off.

Been There, Done That.

Skuld pops through an iced coffee and grants a mortal a wish. That mortal chooses to become a god, goddess, angel, deity, etc, etc. And then Skuld or some other god or goddess falls in love with said mortal. And the rest of the immortals resent the newly made immortal. Just be aware that your idea may have been done by a zillion other authors already, and if you bring nothing substantially different to the table, the readers will get bored. A bored reader is not going to finish your story. Creativity is a bit longer than four letters, and hence requires more effort, I would suppose.

Have Not Been There, Don't Want to Do That.

Just because no one has ever done a Tenchi/Slayers/Picture Pages crossover, that involves Tenchi having a graphic sex scene with Ryo-ohki, does not necessarily mean you should be the one to start. Yet there are a zillion stories out there of people sticking a main character with what seems like every name in the phone book. Doing something just because it has never been done before is not the greatest reason and will not necessarily make a good story. Well, if you are going for shock value or trying to impress people with how weird you can be, go right ahead. How about making sure that your Tenchi/Slayers/Picture Pages story is really well written, so that people want to read it despite the fact it is totally off the wall? All it takes is more time and (*gasp*) effort.

I Am, I Am Superman, and I Can do Anything.

Your character is mopping the floor of the battleship Nadesico when she overhears two crew members puzzling over a serious, highly technical problem. Dropping her mop, she runs over and gives the solution easily, even though she's only qualified to wash floors. Not discounting the Good Will Hunting types out there, but when you have described your new main character as, say, a bored college student not even into his second year of a computer science degree, the reader is going to be highly suspicious when that character manages to storm a space cruiser on fire, subdue the crew, stop the engines from reaching critical mass, and save the universe in five minutes when the rest of the members of the Nadesico can not do so. The reader is going to be incredulous when you reach out of nowhere to add an explanation like, "Oh yeah, he was able to do this because he was... uh, a Navy SEAL in between his college classes." Everyone has flaws, and not everyone has the ability to just snap their fingers and solve a situation when it is obviously beyond their experience in life to do so. So, if your character is Joe Average, don't morph him into Superman in the blink of an eye (first shoot him full of some toxic sludge or something, at the very least).

Laugh-in.

A new character who has a "clever" or "witty" remark to everything any other character ever says soon gets very irritating. After all, most of us tend to find people like that in real life annoying, so why should it be any different in a fiction? Unless of course, the rest of the characters find him or her really annoying, too. Granted, all of us want our fiction to have its humerous points, but too many attempts at being clever without some kind of reaction from the rest of the characters, or being a know-it-all type, might just drive the audience batty.

Thank You, Obi-wan.

Also, a new character who comes up with an answer for every problem a main character has can get annoying as well. To use a previous example, Sylia Stingray is probably *not* going to tell you her innermost secrets and demons, and where does your character get off making wise judgments for her all the time? I mean, a helpful suggestion or observation towards people is something we all do all the time, but when a character thinks he has the right answer every *single* time, it gets predictable, dull, and boring. Solving all problems with a fortune cookie answer is not going to entertain your reader.

There are a slew of other things like this, but I am not going to take the time to identify them. All I am concerned with is that you be conscious of what it is you are writing in general.

They'll Never Know.

You have just watched a series from front to back, and you like it so much, you just have to write about it! The thing is, maybe not that many people have seen it. Maybe you have a rare fan sub... so, you'll just basically rewrite the episodes verbatum, or maybe stick in a *heavy* SI-d character that represents yourself and pass it off as original work.

I have seen this done not a whole lot, but frequently enough in Fan-fiction to mention it. As a matter of fact, I just finished reading a huge and lengthy BubbleGum Crisis "fan-fic", and I use that term very loosely to describe this story, that did nothing but retell the 8 OAV's word for word, except with the author directly SI-ing himself into the story. All the battles ended the same, expect, naturally, the author tended to be the most heroic of the Knight Sabers, the most intelligent, and delivered a lot of killing blows. Okay, not only was it incredibly dull and way out of character, but it was out and out plagerism. The author did nothing to change the events, situations or anything. He merely stuck himself in a plot someone else had the creativity to develop, adding a few extra dialogues and expositions in bewteen events. What's worse, I think this fan-fic was something like 1500 pages long.

Granted, BGC is a well-known series, but I've read others like Saber Marionette J and Escaflowne fictions that turned out to be screenplays of serveral episodes, and then passed off by the author as an original idea without giving credit to the series for EVERY idea. Well, it's a safe bet that eventually, as with SMJ and Escaflowne, a lot of people are going to watch it, so please do not pass off the storyline as your own work! If it *is* really obscure, there is nothing wrong with rehashing a series plot in a summary so readers know where you are coming from. There is *nothing* wrong about writing a series of events that take place during the same time frame of an episode, but from an original viewpoint, either! That kind of creativity adds depth to a series, and a lot of people, myself included, enjoy reading those new angles.

So, if you do not have the time, creativity, or integrity to do more than just copy an anime episode, please turn your word processor off.

Format C:\yourstory.txt

So you have this really great story with a really great plot. The characterization is wonderful! The action is fantastic! But unfortunately, you have run-on sentences, blend your paragraphs together, and the grammar is way off. If you do not use some kind of standard and recognizable format of writing, your reader is going to get a pain in their temples trying to follow the story. Prose has a format, poetry has a format, stream of consciousness has a format, etc. Readers recognize the general type of writing and can adjust to your particular style within the particular format. Also, paragraphs have a purpose; they separate different ideas, but allow them to have a flow from one idea to the other in a smooth manner. If you combine a character's spoken line with another character's thought with some action that happens nearby all in one paragraph, the reader does not know when to switch his or her attention to the new dialogue or action. Proper grammar and readable style is the only thing that keeps the audience from getting lost in all the words you are writing.

Remember the annoying five paragraph essay you were taught in elementary school? Sure, it's kind of basic and lacks style, but the important thing is it gives the ideas form and definition. This more than any other problem I see in a fan fiction burns me the most. There is nothing worse what is obvious a really good plot killed because it's too hard to read due to the bad syntax.

Of course, when you consider that 20% of Americans are functionally illiterate, and an even higher percentage still do not know the basics of syntax, style, and grammar, maybe it is not such a shock to see these problems in a lot of fan-fiction. Still, if you become conscious of these things and take the time to learn more about them, maybe you can improve your own writing. All it really comes down to is a question of ignorance, and ignorance can happily be cured with a little effort.

In Conclusion

So that is a little rant from a reader's point of view. And you know, I am not a professional writer, nor do I pretend to be. I am an engineer, part of a stereotyped profession that harbors some of the worst writers of any field, but that does not mean that I do not strive to improve myself. So why should you not do the same? And if you are already a god at writing, do not bother getting bent out of shape at my little article. You probably already get aggravated enough reading fiction that has some, if not all, of the problems I have mentioned.

Good luck on your next attempt at fan-fiction.

--Mike McAvoy

Back to Reference page * Back to Main Page