Introduction Fic |
By BGlanders (BGlanders@aol.com) |
Scene: Our favorite two GP officers standing at the gates of the GenSao Tenchi Muyo! Fan Fiction Homepage.
MIHOSHI: Umm, Kiyone…?
KIYONE: What is it now, Mihoshi?
MIHOSHI: Well, um, what exactly is this place?
KIYONE: You idiot, you mean you don't know?! This is…um…well…what I mean to say is…Okay, I don't know what this place is, but we're supposed to be here so quit your whining!
MIHOSHI: Oh… Okay, Kiyone. Say, what's this? It looks like a banner for some kind of internet home page.
KIYONE: Well, what does it say?
MIHOSHI: Something about Fan Fiction…Hey Kiyone! Since when do you dress in S&M wear?
KIYONE: What? What are you…? (She sees the banner) WHAT THE HELL?!?
AZAKA: Welcome officers.
KAMADAKE: We appreciate your visit.
MIHOSHI: Oh, hi Azaka and Kamadake! Say, what are you two doing here?
AZAKA: Well, actually…
KAMADAKE: This is our job between series.
AZAKA: Yes, ever since that Shin Tenchi was released, we've had to scrounge for employment.
MIHOSHI: Yeah, I'll say. After that, Kiyone and I had to cut back on baths again.
KIYONE: MIHOSHI! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT THAT!
MIHOSHI: Sorry Kiyone… I didn't mean to… to…WAAAHHH!!!
AZAKA: Miss Mihoshi, please don't cry.
KAMADAKE: Oh dear…
KIYONE: Say, since you two know so much, tell me; why the hell are detective Mihoshi and me in skimpy costumes on that banner between you two?
AZAKA: Well, we're not the ones to ask about that.
KIYONE: Then who is?
KAMADAKE: You must ask… THE MASTER
(LOUD DRAMATIC MUSIC)
MIHOSHI: The Master?
AZAKA: No no no… THE MASTER.
(LOUD DRAMATIC MUSIC)
KIYONE: Okay… How do we see this master?
AZAKA: Well, there are several ways to get there.
KAMADAKE: Yes, there are quite a few.
KIYONE: Well then, tell me.
AZAKA: For starters, you could take the train.
MIHOSHI: Train? What train?
(A flash of light, and a woman with long, blonde hair and a black fur coat appear.)
MAETEL: Coming aboard?
MIO&KIYO: AAAAAAUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
(Lazer fire ensues until Tetsuro and Maetel get back on the GE999 and leave the fic)
KIYONE: Azaka! Nothing involving Matsumoto! I don't like the thought of a doomed earth, if you don't mind.
AZAKA: Sorry about that.
KAMADAKE: Perhaps this will be more to your liking.
(A flash of light ensues, and a purple haired woman with an ample bosom stands before the two GP officers)
IFURITA: Makoto… I must send you back…back to El-Hazard…
MIO&KIYO: AAAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
(Lazer fire ensues until Ifurita blips back to Roshtaria)
MIHOSHI: I don't wanna be sucked into another dimension, even if it is El-Hazard!
KAMADAKE: All right… let's try our third option…
(a flash of light, and a small boy appears on a cloud)
GOKU: Need a lift?
MIO&KIYO: AAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
(Lazer fire ensues and Goku flies off into the distance)
KIYONE: LISTEN! We don't need any outside help from any other animes! Got it?!
AZAKA: Very well, ma'am. We'll try to do it ourselves.
MIHOSHI: Gee Kiyone, now that I think about it, that last choice wouldn't have been so bad…
KIYONE: It's a matter of pride. Plus if we work with Vis video we'll be fired. You know our contract with the Borg.
MIHOSHI: You mean AIC?
KIYONE: Whatever.
(Azaka and Kamadake's eye holes glow and suddenly, the scenery around the two girls changes.)
MIHOSHI: Gee, where are we Kiyone?
KIYONE: I don't know, Mihoshi. Wherever we are, we'd better be ready for the worst.
MIHOSHI: Um, when you say worst, do you mean that (she points behind them)
KIYONE: Eh? (She turns around and sees a giant picture of a half naked Ryoko amidst flames) What the hell?!? What's Ryoko doing here?
MIHOSHI: Not that, look at the background, Kiyone!
KIYONE: Eh? (Kiyone sees the pictures of her and Mihoshi in bondage costumes) WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!
MIHOSHI: I don't know, but this is really embarrassing!
GENSAO: May I help you two?
MIHOSHI: OH, hello. Um, who are you, if you don't mind my asking?
GENSAO: I am… THE MASTER!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC SOUNDS)
KIYONE: (She pulls her gun on him.) So YOU'RE the one responsible for all this…this…say, where did you get these pictures?
GENSAO: That is my most closely guarded secret. I use only the most sophisticated scientific techniques when it comes to my work!
(Enter Alliele)
ALLIELE: Master? I've finished setting up the cameras in the girls changing rooms at AIC. Oh, hi there officers? Wanna arrest me?
MIHOSHI: Um… okay.
KIYONE: MIHOSHI!!!
GENSAO: Alliele, er… thank you. Now, be a good little cameo character and run along now.
ALLIELE: Okay! Later Sister Mihoshi! Then you can handcuff me all you want!
MIHOSHI: Um…okay! If you say so!
(Alliele leaves)
GENSAO: Cute kid, and she's still employed. How many members of the TM! Cast can say they have a steady job nowadays?
PRETTY SAMMY: Hi everybody!
GENSAO: I stand corrected.
MIHOSHI: So now I guess you're gonna tell us your diabolical scheme and all that stuff bad guys do?
GENSAO: Err, well, if you want me to. Heh heh…
KIYONE: Mihoshi! What do you think you're doing? He's exploiting our bodies and you want to talk with him?!?
MIHOSHI: Well, the way I see it, we shouldn't have tried on those outfits in the first place.
KIYONE: I…you…we…YOU SAID IT WAS FOR A HALLOWEEN PARTY!!!
GENSAO: Ladies, ladies… please don't quarrel. Allow me to show you my empire.
(Later on, back at the GenSao banner)
GENSAO: So ladies, what do you think?
MIHOSHI: Gosh, Mr. GenSao, that Fan Fiction site was…well…
KIYONE: It was sick, that's what it was! Honestly, if I had to read one more fic involving me that ditz and whipped cream one more time…!
MIHOSHI: Gosh Kiyone, I thought some of those fics were kinda sweet… like the one where Sasami got Tenchi…
KIYONE: How can you say that?! Typical day in the carrot patch MY ASS! I'm calling child services…
MIHOSHI: No, not that one. I meant the Valentines Day special.
KIYONE: What Valentines Day Special? I only saw porn. Porn from wall to wall, although Aikan Muyo was pretty interesting...EXCEPT FOR THAT MASTURBATION SCENE!
GENSAO: Um, Miss Kiyone? The Lemon section was but just one corner of my Fan Fiction Empire. I have regular stories, crossovers, lemons like what you obviously read, and other items, like song fics or poetry. anything you want!
KIYONE: Oh... Then why are you regarded as some kind of evil villain?
AZAKA: Because he doesn't know the meaning of the word 'raise'.
KAMADAKE: Yes, Mr. GenSao hasn't upped our pay scale in months. It's quite straining...
GENSAO: HEY! You're there only animated gifs on this whole damn page, so quit whining!
AZAKA: Sorry.
(Suddenly, there is a flash of light and everything freezes. We now see Professor Washu among our cast)
WASHU: Hi everybody! Having had some experience with fan fiction, I can see that this one is going nowhere, so I'm gonna do the one sensible thing the author of this piece of garbage can't seem to... I'm gonna skip the next 20 pages and go right to the end! See, it PAYS to be the greatest scientific genius in the universe! All right, now where are we in the story...
(A flash of light, and we see a giant panda trapped in a force field between Azaka and Kamadake. The cast of Tenchi Muyo is standing around the panda with implements of destruction, ranging from whips and chains to the Light Hawk Sword)
MIHOSHI: Well, I guess that wraps up that mystery!
KIYONE: Yes, I must admit, at first I didn't see the connection, but now that it's over, I'm surprised.
TENCHI: Um, what connection? You mean between that Panda and GenSao?
KIYONE: Of course. GenSao. GENma SAOtome.
AZAKA: Amazing!
KAMADAKE: Such pointless trivia!
MIHOSHI: Well, I guess all that's left is to take Mr. Saotome back to Nermia and his own series.
GENSAO: No! You can't! Who will update my site? Who will play as Aeka in IRC?
AEKA: About that Mr. GenSao...
GENSAO: Yes, Aeka-hime?
(CRACK!)
GENSAO: YEOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
AEKA: O OHOHOHOHOHO!!!
(Sweat drops all around)
***
As always, Tenchi & Co. belong to the Borg... er... AIC * Pioneer.
End Notes |
Hello.. I hope you have enjoyed the short fan fiction. I personally loved it. I must have been crazy to comission BGlanders to write a introductory fic to the new version (Version 3.1) of this site. Please give all C&C to BGlanders. He is great guy and deserves your feedback.
Please enjoy the rest of your visit to the Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction archive. And, please don't let this fic unjustly warp your opinion about me.
--Aldrich "GenSao" Bautista
Maintainer of the Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction Archive