Disclaimer: All the following characters (with the exception of those from
OoF!) are not my creation. Tenchi characters belong to their respected
creator and are property of Pioneer. All Smash Bros. characters are property
of Hal. and Nintendo Inc. Yadda yadda and so forth. OoF! (Yes, the last ’F’
is capitalized) is an original creation by yours truly. Although I have no
patent, should you feel any need to use these characters (only God knows
why...) Please let me know (email address provided below.) Please be aware
that this story contains violence, small drug use (just cigars), swearing,
small sexual content, and other stuff that is bad and might offend some
people. Also, most of the characters in OoF! are based off real people, so
for their privacy purposes, their last names will not be mentioned. If you
wish to comment, complement, insult the story, insult one of my loved ones,
or inform me that my work (aka crap) is about to be subjected to MST-ing,
please reach me at darksavior15@yahoo.com. Thank you.

I would like to take this time to correct an error I made last time. In the
profile to my friend Nashant, I said he was of Middle-Eastern descent. I
would like to now correct that and say he is of Hindu (as in from India)
descent. I apologize to my friend, and I thank him for his patience and for
putting up with my incompetence and ignorance. Thanks! ^_^



                                 And Now...

                              Crossed Spectrums

                                  Part Two:

                           No Need for Dark Omens

It had been three days since Oof and the others had become castaways in
Tenchi’s dimension. During this period of time, they, along with the Smash
Bros. characters, had made themselves quite at home. Also, Washu had been
hard at work and had determined an exact time as to when this universe would
collapse in on itself. The two foreign groups had precisely one month. On
the thirtieth, at the stroke of midnight, there would be a blinding flash, a
silent explosion of sorts, and then...

Oof could recall Alex’s words...

“Oh. That sounds pleasant.”

But that was plenty of time, Oof reassured himself. Washu had reported being
already 35% done with the Dimension Hopper, and this was the first three
days. So everyone simply figured that they might as well hang loose and
enjoy the time they have together.

Oof had fought all his instincts and woken up early that morning. He had two
specific purposes behind it. One, he wished to start getting in the habit.
And two, Oof wanted to make his gratitude known to his kind benefactors...

Sasami yawned. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and slowly hobbled down
the stairs. She was dressed in her robe, and had Ryo-Ohki at her side. The
Cabbit seemed as dead as she was.

“Well Ryo-Ohki,” Sasami started, trying to perk in her usual cheeriness. “At
least we can get the pleasure of seeing everyone ELSE enjoy their morning.”

“Mrow meow meow.” Ryo-Ohki replied, a yawn escaping her mouth.

Now don’t misunderstand. Sasami was by no means bitter. She liked to cook.
She just wished should could have someone else do the job for a change, or
at least for one of the three meals.

That’s when she smelled it. It was an unusual aroma. But it smelled
delicious. Sasami had never smelt such a thing.

“What’s that? And who could possibly be making it?”

“Meoow mrow?” Ryo-Ohki replied.

Sasami, now awake with curiosity, rushed down the stairs. Ryo-Ohki close
behind. As Sasami drew closer, she noticed the tantalizing aroma was
replaced by that charred smell of something over cooked. Sasami came down
and peaked across the corner. Ryo-Ohki mimicked the movements. The two saw
hunched over the oven Oof, Link, Mario, and King Oof. Al sat near King Oof’s
foot.

“Oof, may I ask you something?”

“Sure Link.”

“...Is it supposed to be this charred?”

“ I meant ask me anything except that.”

“Way to go kiddo,” Al grumbled, a cigar puffing in his mouth. “You got us
ALL up at five in the morning to watch you burn food. We could have done
this at a more CONVENIENT time. Like, oh, I dunno, when the sun ISN’T BARELY
POKING OVER THE FUCKING HORIZON!!??”

“Shhhh...!” Mario hushed, “You’re-a gonna wake up the others and-a ruin the
whole thing!”

“I can’t,” Al barked in a whisper. “Chief Torte here already did that job
for me.”

Oof glared at Al, with a fury that can only be beaten by Heather.

“...Shut up Al.”

“Well kiddo, ’scuse me, but I ain’t a morning person,” Al replied.

“Greaf niiek ny poo can to?” King Oof asked.

The others just stared up at the yeti.

“Damn, I wish Snow Bird was up right now,” Oof groaned. “And where the hell
is Falco with the cheese?”

“Cheese?” Sasami asked.

The five standing in the cramped kitchen shot up in surprise. King Oof
slammed his head on the ceiling, unintentionally flipping over Ayeka’s bed
on the floor above.

“WAAUUUUGHH!” Ayeka screamed.

Back on the lower floor, King Oof cluthced his head and roared a few more of
his incoherent words, undoubtedly swears. Sasami walked casually over to the
group.

“What are you guys doing?”

“Good job Al!” Oof shot, slapping his comrade on the back of the head. “Now
you and your complaining ruined the surprise!”

“Don’t...touch me like that again,” Al warned.

“I apologize miss Sasami,” Link bowed. “Oof had planned to make breakfast
for you and the others as a surprise to show our gratitude, so we agreed to
help. We did not mean to ruin the kitchen.”

Sasami smiled, then blushed slightly.

“You guys got up early and went to all this trouble to make breakfast for
me?”

“Oh no!” Oof replied with a smile, “I made your breakfast already!”

Oof opened the fridge and removed a perfect version of the dish they had
been attempting to make. The other’s simply hung their mouths.

“Oof...” Mario growled. “If you had-a breakfast already made, then WHY did
you-a get up to make some-a MORE?!”
“Because, I didn’t make everyone’s last night.”

“WOULDN’T THAT HAVE-A MADE MORE-A SENSE!?”

“...Huh. Ya know, looking back on it in retrospect, it would actually,” Oof
replied with a grin. Al sighed. Al knew Oof was smart. And he had common
sense. It just never ceased to amaze Al that Oof could at times simply shrug
it all away and give in to stupidity. The other four held out their hands,
ready to strangle Oof.

Sasami walked innocently among them, forcing them to stop. She took the
plate, placed it in the oven to heat it for a moment or two, then took it
out. She placed the plate on the table.

“Oh yum!” Sasami said happily, gazing over the meal. Ryo-Ohki jumped in her
lap.

“Meoooow!” she cried happily.

It was a piece of bread, with beans on the bottom, covered with cheese, then
topped with sausage and bacon, and slices of jalapenos were placed on the
top. Sasami cut a chunk off of the food and placed it in her mouth. It was
spectacular.

“OHHH YUM!” She cried, “Oof, you made this?”
“Yep.”

“What is it?” Sasami asked, feeding a bite to Ryo-Ohki.

“It’s a Mexican breakfast dish called Moyetes,” Oof replied

“Moy...what?”

“Moyetes,” Oof chuckled.

“Where did you get the ingredients?”

“Well,” Al started, “We’ve been usin’ Washu’s lab. After all, it’s open
24/7. Anyway, you would not BELIEVE some of the kooky fucked up shit down
there. We were able to get to Cuba, Mexico, and American and we got the
right shit.”

“...Why Cuba?”

“Why?” Al echoed “’Cause I only smoke the best crap in the world!” Al
happily replied, snuffing out his old cigar into an ash tray and lighting up
a new one. The other four sighed.

“Resssh na tek to bna.” King Oof said with a smile.

“Meow meow!” Ryo-Ohki replied happily.

King Oof seemed taken back. Ryo-Ohki could understand him. He thought only
Snow Bird could. King Oof’s smile widened, and he chuckled. King Oof kneeled
and began to carry out a conversation.

“Awwww...that’s cute.” Oof smiled.

“Yes, now come along Oof. We have breakfast to make. The others, if not
already up, will be arriving soon,” Link interrupted

“Right! Now where do you-a supposed Falco is?”

“SORRY! I GOT THE CHEESE!!” Falco burst in from the hall. “I pressed the
wrong buttons and flashed into a Chinese butcher shop, and then...Oh,
Sasami’s up. Crap.”

“It’s a-okay Falco.” Mario comforted, “We can-a still-a cook it anyway.”

Sasami smiled. She looked at her plate of food, and then at the new friends.
Mario, Link, Oof, Al and Falco, were now quite happy, and laughing at a
joke. Sasami noticed Oof. He seemed so bright, so serene, so mysterious. So
cute.

“He’s so sweet,” Sasami blushed. A small crush began to form in Sasami’s
heart, and she happily returned to her breakfast.

(Author’s note: By the way, I am NOT a pervert, so no gross crap involving
me and a twelve year old is going to happen. She simply has a CRUSH on ME!
That is all. I don’t feel anything for her. Anyway, sorry. Back to the
story.)

The hours had passed, and the group came to the table. They each had
breakfast and started out on their day. Nashant saw an open pasture near the
residence. He drew his Katana, and walked into the field.

Silence.

Clarity.

Harmony.

Nashant focused his mind on these things, as he held the weapon in his hand.
It felt more like an extension of his body, rather than a foreign object. He
held his eyes shut, and concentrated further.

His eyes snapped open.

He began to flash his blade brilliantly. Nashant’s movements were so fluid
and rapid, that it was almost impossible to see them. Nashant jumped
backwards and began to punch the air. He showered the air with a few more
blows, before he flipped to the side. In mid-air, he released a barrage of
shurikens at the ground. He landed and began to release rapid kicks into the
air. Nashant unsheathed his blade and began to slice the air once more. He
then released some of his custom “mirror bombs” and spliced his image. It
now appeared there were five of him, performing the same sword techniques in
a synchronized movement.

Ayeka had been watching Nashant for some time, almost the whole two hours he
had been outside. It was quite amazing. She finally stepped forward,
carrying a plate of tea.

“Lord Nashant!” She called from a distance. Nashant did not even turn his
head. He continued with his training, but called to the princess in reply,

“Hello Ayeka. Is that more of your marvelous tea?” He released a grunt or
two as he swung the blade.

“Really Lord Nashant, you are too kind. But yes, it is some tea. I saw you
out here and I figured you might be parched.”

“Well, you guessed quite right,” Nashant smiled at her, finally turning in
her direction and sheathing his sword. Ayeka marched over to him and placed
the plate in front of him. She knelled down beside him, as he took a seat on
a tree stump and sipped the tea.

“That’s quite a show you put on out there Lord Nashant,” Ayeka noted. “How
on earth did you get so good?”

“A professional assassin must be good. Otherwise, he finds that business is
rather slow.”

Ayeka jumped back, aghast by Nashant’s words.

“A...A...ASSASSIN!?”

“Please, calm down.” Nashant replied with a smile. “It’s really not a bad
thing as everyone portrays it. I only work for those who pay well, and that
is usually the government. They send me after dangerous fugitives and the
sort. It is nothing that affects any innocent people.”

“What if it was an innocent person?!” Ayeka roared.

Nashant grew quite somber. He closed his eyes, and opened them, gazing
softly at Ayeka.

“In my world princess,” He began. “An innocent person is something of a rare
thing. To be completely innocent is impossible. Besides, I know the
difference. I do not except a job, no matter how much money, if I feel the
person is innocent.”

“...You’re certainly not what I would expect from an assassin.” Ayeka said
facing the ground, with a somewhat sad smile.

“Perhaps you should not be so quick to judge people,” Nashant replied, a
smirk on his face.

Ayeka looked up and asked suddenly,

“Lord Nashant, what can you tell me about Lord Link?”

“That’s a rather random question. Why are you curious? Do you think Link is
cute?” He teased.

Ayeka stood up, her face quite red, both with embarrassment and with rage.

“LORD NASHANT! That is very immature to say! I love Lord Tenchi! I just
wished to know my guest better, that is all. Good day Lord Nashant!” And
with that, the princess stormed off. Nashant sat on the stump, chuckling to
himself.

“She makes it so obvious. But I wonder what brought these feelings on? And
how come I can never be so fortunate?”

Nashant sighed inwardly, then stood up and continued his practice.

In actuality, Ayeka became physically attracted to the young Hylian when she
met him. However, a conversation that she had with him made her feelings
grow slightly. She recalled the events in her head as she tromped away from
Nashant. It was the day before, and Link sat on the roof, gazing out towards
the rising sun...

“Lord Link? What on earth are you doing on this roof, especially this early
in the morning?”

“Oh, Miss Ayeka!” Link stood up, and bowed respectfully. “I apologize, did I
wake you?”

“Certainly not,” She replied. “Are you alright?”

“I am enjoying the view,” Link whispered, more to himself than Ayeka. “It is
rare for me to see such a beautiful sight. Although, the fairy fields in
Hyrule on an april night are quite close.”

“Link, tell me more about this Hyrule?”

“Well, Miss Ayeka, the lands stretch as far as the eye can see. It is
covered with beautiful fields and the town of Hyrule is the jewel of the
area. It shimmers at night, with all the glowing latterns hanging in the
window sills. In the fairy fields, The fairies come out and dance, and glow
far all to see. Especially during the April weeks. It is quite gorgeous.”

“It sounds so,” Ayeka replied with a smile.

Link sighed, and looked at Ayeka.

“ Miss Ayeka, do you have anyone to love?”

Ayeka was taken back by the question.

“Why...no, I suppose.”

“I’m surprised,” Link replied with a smile, “You are a maiden worthy of the
minstrels famous songs in my homeland.”

Ayeka blushed deeply.

“Why...thank you,” She smiled. “But why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason I suppose,” Link explained sadly. He looked back out towards
the rising sun, then looked towards Ayeka.

“Would you like to hear a song?”

“Certainly, you sing?”
“No, I play the Ocarina.” Link replied. Ayeka seemed confused. She had never
heard of an Ocarina.

Link pulled from his pocket the blue instrument, and began to play Zelda’s
Lullaby. Each note soother and enchanted Ayeka. A smile grew on her face,
and her heart was filled with warmth. Link’s blonde hair swayed in the
breeze, as did Ayeka’s long flowing purple locks. Her purple eyes gazed into
Link’s, and the almost endless blue within them. Link stopped, smiled, and
continued playing. He played until the sun shown completely over the
mountain, Ayeka by his side the whole time.

Ayeka rounded a corner of the Masaki home, and leaned up against the wall.
She smiled and whispered to herself,

“Oh Lord Link...”

Gannondorf sat by himself on a rock. It was surrounded by a forest, with a
solitary path leading up to it from the east. Gannondorf did not greatly
desire the company of anyone. His own comrades were too irritating, most of
the ‘Tenchi’ characters were far to perky for his tastes, and the Oof
characters...were far too odd. Gannondorf seeked refuge, so he could have
some time to think.

“Why must I be stranded here, in this confounded dimension?!” He roared to
the sky. “WHY AM I CONDEMNED TO THIS PERSONAL HELL!?” Gannondorf took his
fist and smashed it into a near by tree, shattering the trunk and sending it
splintering to the ground.

“Mister Gannnnnnnnnondorf!” A voice pierced happily through the air.
Gannondorf cringed at the sound. He looked over the horizon and saw the
image of the young girl, Sasami if he remembered correctly, coming over the
hill. She ran happily towards him, a big smile on her face. The irritating
animal followed behind her too.

“Mister Gannondorf! Hi! I brought you some lunch. Mario told me I‘d find you
here.”

“Go away.”

“What’s the matter?” She asked innocently.

“I haven’t feed on the brains of a young girl for a while now, and it has
put me in a bad mood.”

“...You know, you coulda asked me to leave,” Sasami stated.

“Fine. Please leave before I rip off your head and drink your blood from
your neck,” He replied

“You seem angry Mr. Gannondorf,” Sasami sadly pointed out.

“Meow.” Ryo-Ohki added dryly.

“I am not angry. I am evil. There is a slight difference.”

“Meow, meow meow!” Ryo-Ohki suggested to Sasami.

“You’re right Ryo-Ohki!” Sasami happily chirped, “That would cheer
Gannondorf up.”

She stepped closer to Gannondorf, and wrapped his arms around him.

“Wha...wha...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Hugging you silly, Whenever I’m upset, I hug Tenchi or sis and I feel a lot
better,” Sasami explained.

“I AM NOT SOME CHILD!! I DO NOT NEED YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT!! I...”

Gannondorf stopped. He felt the anger leave him. Her touch, it soothed him.
Gannondorf realized that Sasami was warm and kind, something he imagined his
mother had been like. He looked down at the blue haired young lady. She held
him tightly, and smiled deeply. Her eyes were wide shut. She was so kind, so
sweet, and so innocent. And he had been so unfair to her. Gannondorf
instantly grew attached to her. She from then on, was the closest he would
ever have to a daughter. Without realizing it, he wrapped his arms around
her.

“Now,” Sasami said, releasing Gannondorf. “Do you feel better?”

“...Yes child,” Gannondorf replied, with the first true, kind smile he had
shed in centuries. “I feel much better. I apologize for yelling at you.”

“It’s okay. Everyone gets mad sometimes.”

“Your name is Sasami, correct?”

“Yeah,” She replied. Gannondorf reached into his pocket. From it he pulled
out a small, old looking doll.

“Here Sasami. Far now, it is yours. It was a present given to be, by my
mother. Before she... It is very special to me. I want you to play with it.”
“Wow! It looks so cool! Thanks Mr. Gannondorf! Come on Ryo-Ohki! Let’s go
play!”

“Meow meow!” Ryo-Ohki replied happily.

Sasami gave Gannondorf a quick kiss on the cheek and ran off to play,
Ryo-Ohki close behind. The evil war lord looked shocked, and rubbed his
check where Sasami had just kissed him. Gannondorf was not sure what this
feeling was inside him. He was concerned for her, and he wanted to see that
she was happy. It was so unusual. He imagined this is how a father felt
towards a child. Gannondorf sighed happily, and gazed up towards the sun.

Meanwhile, Kriby, Jay, and King Oof were helping Tenchi and Mr. Masaki pull
the carrots out of their carrot patch. Kirby was crouched in a corner of the
garden struggling with one carrot.

“Grrrrrr! Stupid thingy! Come out!” Kriby growled and pulled at the stubborn
vegetable. Kirby pulled and pulled, finally pulling it out. Kirby stumbled
backwards, and broke into a roll. He kept rolling until he smacked into a
nearby tree.

“Owwwwwie...” Kirby moaned.

Mr. Masaki chuckled. He went over to Kirby and helped the pink ball of puff
to his feet.

“Thanks Mr. Masaki!”

“You’re welcome Kirby. Here, I bet King Oof could help you.” Mr. Masaki
suggested, pointing to the big Yeti. In the center of the garden, King Oof
could be seen, Snow Bird resting on his shoulder.

“Now King Oof, you must be careful when pulling carrots,” Snow Bird advised.

“Reshth na tik?” King Oof asked.

“Because my king,” Snow Bird replied, “If you aren’t careful, you may...”

King Oof grabbed one of the carrots. He pulled with all his might, expecting
the carrot to be as stubborn as the one Kirby pulled. But, Kirby is
significantly weaker, which he remembered as he removed the carrot. The
carrot also pulled up the carrots around it, the ground connecting them, and
the underwater sprinkling system attached to the ground. The young yeti hung
his head and sighed.

“...You may pull up other things.” Snow Bird continued.

“Crapth.” King Oof mumbled. Tenchi felt a sweat drop form, as he looked at
the mass of muscle and fur hold up most of the garden and the sprinkler
system...by a single carrot. What an odd bunch, Tenchi thought. Oh well,
they were still really nice. Tenchi laughed and went over to King Oof.

“Here, let me help King Oof.”

Tenchi pulled the carrot King Oof held out of the levitated ground. The
remnants of the carrot patch and it’s sprinkler system fell to the dirt.

“Nreshth.” King Oof smiled, blushing a little at his stupidity.

“King Oof says ‘Thanks.’ ” Snow Bird explained.

“You’re welcome.” Kirby noticed King Oof’s strength, and figured it would be
helpful in his chore. With a mischievous look on his face, he snuck over to
King Oof and sucked him in.

“REAGHHH!!” the yeti roared.

In a flash, Kirby was now covered completely in white fur, and had two large
fangs shooting from his mouth. Only his eyes looked the same. Kirby also had
a fake dove perched on his shoulder.

“HEYYY!!” King Oof roared. Kirby ignored the yeti, and pulled a nearby
carrot. It slid from the ground with ease.

“SWEET!” Kirby yelled. Tenchi just looked the two characters and chuckled.

“You guys are messed up,” He chuckled.

Jay was working on the southern part of the patch, and was doing just fine.
The chore might have been difficult, had he not been wearing his strength
increasing gauntlets. The carrots came out quite easily, and he tossed them
one by one into the basket behind him.

Tenchi noticed this.

“Hey man! Nice job! Boy, I wish we had so many hard working people on a
regular basis. Typically, it’s just Dad and I pulling the carrots, and
sometimes Sasami. It’s nice to receive a little help.” Tenchi explained
happily.

“Hey, no problem Tenchi,” Jay replied, scratching the back of his head. “I’m
glad we could help.”

“Hey Jay,” Kirby asked, looking up from the carrot he was pulling. “What do
those gloves do anyway?”

“Well Kirby, these things are my weapons. Oof had one of his friends make
them for me. They increase my strength significantly, and they can launch
saw blades too. They’re the shit!” Jay said enthusiastically. Kirby seemed a
little dazed at the mention of the saws. Tenchi just looked at him.

“That all seems a little excessive, don’t ya think?”

“...Whadya mean?” Jay asked.

“Well, if it already increases your strength, why do you need saw blades?”

“For long range.” Jay explained.

“But if you’re super strong, can’t you beat the poo outta the guy either
way?” Kirby asked. Jay looked at him with a puzzled expression. He then
tried to explain,

“Well technically yeah. But...well...you see...uhhh...”

Tenchi and Kirby looked at Jay.

“I wish you two would shut up.” Jay pouted, returning to his chores.

Off in the distance, Jay could hear Mihoshi practicing with her pistol. She
fired at a suspended target on the corner of the house. A loud ricochet was
heard echoing over the distance.

“SHOOT! I missed again.”

“*Sigh*. I’ll go help her.” Jay said, walking off to Mihoshi.

“Okay. Byyyyyyye Jay!” Kirby happily waved. Tenchi waved with him, along
with Mr. Masaki and King Oof. Jay shot back a wave to them and headed around
the side of the house to Mihoshi’s voice.

Mr. Masaki looked up from his chores.

“Oh by the way,” He began “Kirby, King Oof. I have good news for you both.
Normally, this time of year, we go on our annual trip to the hot springs in
the mountains. Since you are our guests, you may come with if you like.”

“REASTH?!” King Oof cired happily.

“REALLY!?” Kirby echoed, spitting out King Oof‘s powers.

“Yeah, of course really,” Tenchi agreed. “Of course, I have to talk with
DAD...” Tenchi shot his father a cold angry look.

“Well, Mr. Masaki,” Snow Bird began. “You can certainly bet on King Oof and
I on attending this event. It sounds marvelous.”

“I’ll go tell everyone!” Kirby ran off happily in a flash, dust trailing
behind him. Tenchi grabbed his father by the collar.

“Dad, has it crossed your mind that we have to fit them ALL in a seven seat
mini-van?”

“Ummm...yes.”

“And how,” Tenchi continued angirly. “Do you suppose we do that?”

“Well, don’t worry Tenchi,” Mr. Masaki said with a grin, releasing himself
from Tenchi’s grip. “We’ll think of something. Just relax my boy. Worrying
too much will lead you to an early grave.”

And with that, the three remaining returned to their chores.

Mihoshi shot another bullet. It whizzed through the air, ricocheted off the
corner of the house, and shot off into the distance.

“DANG! Ooooooooo!” She moaned. “I’ll never get that promotion, and Kiyone’s
gonna hate me.”

“What’s wrong?” a voice inquired behind her. Mihoshi spun around, somewhat
surprised. There stood Jay.

“Oh. Hi Jay!” Mihoshi smirked happily. Then she turned her attention back to
the gun in her hand.

“I can’t shoot for beans.” She explained. “I’ve been trying to hit that
target for six days.”

“...You mean six hours,” Jay hoped

“No, six days.”

“...How could it possibly take you six days!?”

“I get distracted easily. Oooo a rake!” Mihoshi yelled happily, throwing the
pistol aside. Jay hung his head. He took of his gauntlets and threw them to
the side. He grabbed the pistol, then Mihshi’s arm.

“HEY!!” She objected.

“Here, hold the pistol.” Jay ordered.

Mihoshi held the pistol in her hand. Her arms quivered as she curled her
finger around the trigger.

“That’s your problem,” Jay explained “You’re too jittery. No wonder you
can’t hit for shit.”

“BEANS!” Mihoshi corrected.
“Right, beans.” Jay mumbled, rolling his eyes. He suddenly stood behind her,
and wrapped his hands around her wrists. Mihoshi looked surprised. His hands
were soft and firm, and warm too. She blushed slightly.

“Now,” Jay continued, “I’ve got you straightened out. Now aim for the
target...” Jay and Mihoshi raised the gun towards the bull’s eye.

“Squeeze carefully...”

Jay pushed Mihoshi’s finger on the trigger. The bullet sang through the air,
and a loud TWANG! was heard. There was hole in the center of the bull’s eye.

“YAY!” Mihoshi cheered, jumping with glee. “I HIT THE TARGET! THANKS JAY!”

“No problem.”

Mihoshi looked at Jay, and her smile grew serene. His blue eyes seemed
endless, and he seemed so kind, and...

Her thoughts were interrupted as a pink blur (Kirby) whizzed by screaming,

“TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! ^_^”

As quickly as he ran by, Kirby was gone. Mihoshi looked in the direction of
dust, more confused than usual. Jay felt a sweat drop roll down his head.

“...What the hell was that?” he muttered.

Alex sat with Bowser, Washu, Ryoko, Peach, Roy, George, and Mike. He held a
deck of Magic cards in his hand and showed off a fire mana to the group.

“Okay,” Alex began, holding the card in plain view. “This is a mana card.
These are crucial to the game. Without these, you cannot use your beasts, or
your spells. Now, for example...”

Bowser’s hand shot into the air.

“*Sigh*. Yes Bowser?” Alex asked.

“Uh, I don’t get it. This is hard.”

“It’s not hard at all,” Washu started. “I fact, it’s really simple. These
mana cards are needed to summon these beasts and spells. A certain type of
mana summons a certain type of monster or spell. The object of the game is
to lower each opponents HP to zero, and staying alive yourself. Does that
about cover it Alex?”

“Great Washu!” Alex exclaimed. “Did you get that Bowser?”

“...I got ‘it’s really simple.’ Then she lost me.”

Everyone in the circle did a typical anime prat drop. Ryoko stood up and
bellowed angrily, throwing her cards to the ground.

“Ay mon!” George objected. “Those are expensive ya know!”

“I DON’T CARE!” Ryoko roared “THIS WHOLE GAME IS STUPID! ALL YOU DO IS SIT
HERE AND THROW CARDS AT EACH OTHER!! IT‘S FOR WEAK LOSERS!!!”

“I agree!” Mike concurred. “I’d much rather play ‘hide and seek’! Heh heh
heh. Look Ryoko. I think something is hidden in your cleavage! I’ll seek it!
Heh heh heh!”

Mike began to rub his head in Ryoko’s breasts. George slapped his head. He
had heard Mike mention his crush on Ryoko. He just never figured his
stupidity, or psychotic behavior, would ever interfere with his judgment. Of
course, George over-estimated Mike.

Ryoko grew quite angry, and with a fist to the face and a clutch on his
throat, Ryoko threw the psychotic pervert over her shoulder and sent him
into a nearby tree.

“Heeehh...heeh..” Mike moaned weakly. Ryoko sighed and sat down.

Peach looked at Alex. He seemed somewhat hurt by Ryoko’s remarks.

“Now hold on!” Peach objected. “Just because YOU don’t understand it,
doesn’t mean it’s not bad! It just means you’re an idiot.”

“WHAT?!” Ryoko roared, “LOOK HERE BLONDIE! YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH
BECAUSE OTHER WISE IT MAY NOT BE ATTACHED TO YOUR PRETTY LITTLE FACE!!!”

“You think I’m afraid of you, you witch!” Peach growled, removing her frying
pan, “BRING IT!”
“LADIES! Please! Calm down! It’s just a game!” Roy explained

Suddenly, a pink blur flew by.

“TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIIIIPPPPPPP!!”

The group looked at the trail of dust.

“Uh...wat was dat?” George asked.

“Hmmm...I guess we’re goin’ on a trip.” Ryoko shrugged. She flew off towards
Kirby. The others got up and followed her, thanking Alex for teaching them
how to play Magic. As Peach started to walk off, Alex called up to her,

“Princess!”

Peach turned around and gazed at Alex. A smile crossed his face.

“Thanks for sticking up for me. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” Peach smiled.

“By the way, how’s Mario doing?”

Peach stepped back. Mario. Her love. She had forgotten about him. And her
she was, falling head over heels for some boy, barely even half her age.
What was she doing? Yet still...

“He’s fine,” She replied. She looked ahead sadly and kept walking. Alex
looked at her as she walked.

“...Was it something I said?” he wondered.

Mario laid inside, resting on the couch. His eyes were shut tight. Ayeka was
near by in the kitchen, cleaning, and Heather was sitting on the couch near
him. Heather got up and looked around in the living room. It was full of
uninteresting books, and a few dusty movies.

“Wonderful,” She muttered, “I should have brought my drawing pad. Or at
LEAST something to read.” Suddenly, something caught her eye. She wasn’t
sure what it was, but she was sure of one thing.

It was shinny. That was all that mattered, for that was here weakness.

“Ooooo! Shinny!” Heather ran towards the object and cradled it in her hands.
She examined it closely. It turned out to be a trophy.

“Oooooooo! ^_^”

Ayeka slapped Heather’s hand.

“MISS HEATHER PUT IT BACK!”
“Alright!” Heather retorted, placing the trophy back. “No need for bitchy
room mates.”

“WHAT WAS THAT!!??” Ayeka bellowed.

“Look, why are you always jumpin’ down my back? Is it because Tenchi had
some stupid vision about me?”

“Well...NO! Of course not! You are just being paranoid! I have not been...”

“Yeah you have. You AND Ryoko haven’t given me a moments peace since I
arrived. Believe me, I have no interest in stealing your boyfriend. Besides,
Nashant told me you have the hot’s for Link anyway.”

“Wha...wha...wha...WHAAAAAAAT!!??”
“That’s what-a Nashant told me-a to,” Mario concurred from the couch.

“YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!!” Ayeka roared. “LISTEN, I DO...”

“Ayeka, you better make up your mind. Link already has a girl back in
Hyrule, and if you don’t take Tenchi, someone else will. You better hurry.”

With that, Heather walked away and up the stairs. Ayeka sat for a moment,
bubbling in her own fumes of anger.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH! I HATE HER!!!”

In a dark place, outside of reality, Yumashinto stood watching a monitor. He
had spent the last three days, preparing. He had built up a large army, and
he wasn’t done yet. Suddenly, one of his minions walked up to him.

“Lord Yumashinto,” The demon began “Should we not strike now? The group is
relaxing, and would not...”

“Let them rest,” Yumashinto interrupted. “I am indeed planning on lulling
them into a false sense of security. Once they believe they are truly safe,
it will make the attack far more of a surprise. They will have not raised
their defenses, and will be totally helpless. The Five Mortal Pillars will
be simple to capture, as though child’s play. Until then, I want you to
increase the production of soldiers. Understood, general?” He glared down
menacingly at the lower demon.

“Yes sir,” The demon replied hastily. It hurried off, leaving Yumashinto
alone. The monitor flashed to a split image of Oof, Tenchi and Mario.

“Once the Final Sphere is mine, there shall be chaos. And none shall stop
me. Not even you or your little friends, you weak creatures. And I will take
the Five Mortal Pillars from you. There is no hope left for you. Begin to
despair.”

Oof sat on a rock, near the pasture where Nashant had been practicing
earlier. He had discovered he had taken his bible with him by accident.
Probably when I was trying to excersize Heather, he thought. Oof decided now
was a good time to catch up on his bible reading, which he hadn’t done in a
while. Kiyone came from inside the house and marched over to him. She sat by
his side.

“Hey Oof,” She smiled.

Oof looked up from the bible. He saw her smiling face and smirked back.

“Hey Kiyone. What’s up?”

“Not much, just really bored.”

“Ah, that’s a bit unusual. In the show I watch in my universe, you and the
rest would have stumbled into at least three screwed up adventures by now.”

“I’m a bit surprised myself.” Kiyone replied. She looked at the book Alex
was reading.

“You’re a Christian?” she asked.

“Yeah, I know. I sure as hell don’t seem like one do I?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just I’m kind of surprised.”

Oof glared at her for a moment, then put a bookmark to keep his place.

“Why?”
“Well, I figured you wouldn’t be fooled easily enough to give into something
like religion. I mean, It’s mostly just propaganda. It’s a group of people
trying to get your money, and just use you.”

Oof’s evil conscience suddenly poofed on his right shoulder, in all his sock
puppet glory.

“You’re gonna take that from her? Kick her ass man!” Evil Conscience
encouraged.

“Shut up!” Oof whispered

“What?” Kiyone asked

“Wha? Oh not you... It’s...never mind. Anyway. you’re being a bit
stereotypical. That’s only those who run the church,” Oof explained,
somewhat irritated by the ignorance of Kiyone. “And those who are tricked. I
don’t go to church.”

“Isn’t that against your religion?”

“God loves his people, even when they do wrong,” Oof replied. “I truly doubt
he is going to give a damn about me not going. I believe in him, I have
faith in him, and I follow his teachings. That is all god ever asked for.
People who say ‘if you don’t go to church you’re going to hell’ are either
religiously brain-washed fools or those who run the church. And they’re just
saying that to scare the crap outta you and give money to them.”

“Well...” Kiyone mumble, not sure how to beat that. “Well okay. You have me
there. But why would you believe in something you can’t see? Why go around
believing in anything at all?”

“...That’s really sad.”

“What?”

“First of all,” Oof began, “It’s called faith. Everyone needs it and
everyone should use it at some point. That’s why humanity is going so down
far the shitter now a days. We don’t have faith in anything anymore.
Ourselves, our friends, our families, our god...nothing. And secondly, it’s
really sad you think people shouldn’t go around and believe in something.
What purpose does your life have if you don’t believe in something? It
doesn’t even need to be religion. A friends, a person, a thing, anything!
Life is so empty and pointless if there isn’t something for you to believe
in. And if you do feel life is empty and pointless, the you shouldn’t even
be here. Go crawl off in a hole somewhere.” Kiyone could see that Oof was
deeply hurt.

“I’m...I’m sorry Oof. I didn’t...”

“It’s okay, you’re not my first Atheist friend. It’s just that it pisses me
off that people go around and assume I wish to argue about religion and try
to convince me NOT to believe it. Why don’t they just leave me be?”

“I’m sorry Oof. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know Kiyone,” Oof smiled, “But thanks for apologizing.”

Kiyone looked at Oof’s face. His hazel eyes seemed so beautiful. They
sparkled and glittered. She wondered if he felt the same way about her blue
eyes. His smile seemed so comforting. Everything about Oof just seemed...

Suddenly, Kirby ran by.

“TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TRIP! TR...”

Oof stuck his foot out.

“AUGGGGHHHHH!” Kirby spun over Oof’s foot and smashed into the ground.

“And trip you did.” Oof joked.

“That was mean Oof!” Kiyone objected.

“Oh come on! Kirby knows I was jokin’. He and are close! Right Kirby?”

“Ooooooooooooo...yeah...” Kirby moaned.

The group had finally gathered in the Masaki family room.

“Alright everyone,” Mr. Masaki began. “As Kirby has informed you all, we are
indeed going on our annual trip to a hot-springs resort up in the mountains.
It’s not too far, so it won’t be a long trip.”

“However...” Tenchi growled, looking at his Dad.

“However,” Mr. Masaki continued “We only have a seven seater mini-van, and
that won’t be nearly enough.”

“Well,” Oof suggested, “You were kind enough to invite us, and it’s your
Mini-Van, so you can drive. And it is always polite for ladies to ride in
their carriage, so the ladies can sit in the van. Washu and Sasami can sit
on someone’s lap or something.”

“Oh don’t worry about me,” Washu piped. “I’m not coming. I have too much
work to do with the Dimension Hopper. Plus, it’s easier for Sasami. She can
sit in the space between the back seat and the side door.”

“Okay, then it’s even easier,” Roy said. “The ladies ride in the mini-van,
and we men will take the...bus wasn‘t it?”

“Yeah-a Roy,” Mario replied “Its-a called a bus.”

“That’s just the problem,” Mr. Masaki explained. “If we’re going to all be
together, I have to confirm our rooms with every guest there. Other wise,
they won’t except it. And the bus takes the longer route to the resort, so
you’d arrive two hours later.”

“TWO HOURS!?” Ryoko objected “I can’t wait for my Tenchi that long!” She
went over and began to snuggle with Tenchi. “He has to come with us.”
Surpringly, there was no outburst from Ayeka. But Tenchi did object.

“Ryoko. Get off me please.”

Ryoko silently obliged, although it was obvious from her expression she
objected to the request.

“Besides,” Heather added, “I doubt most of us have the patience to wait two
hours to get into a hot spring.”

“Well-a then,” Mario added. “We’re in-a quite a situation.”

Suddenly, an evil smirk crossed across Al’s face. He whispered into George's
ear hole, and George mimicked the expression.

“Ay mon,” George shot raising his hand into the air. “Al and I ‘ave got an
idea!” Al stood to his feet. He cleared his throat and smiled.

“Ya see,” Al started. “Oof is correct. The ladies will ride in the van.
However, as for the guys...”

Oof was running. He wasn’t to fond of running. Especially over a distance
longer than four miles. There was a rope tied to the back of the mini-van,
which in turn was tied to his waste. It wrapped around him and tied around
Gannondorf, then to Alex, then to Bowser, then Mario, and so on down the
list. Beside him, another rope was tied to Tenchi, which went to Mike, then
to King Oof, and to Kirby, to Falco, and again, down the list. They all had
at least two pieces of luggage on their backs. Some even had three.

On top of the mini-van, Al and George were lounging in a pair of beach
chairs. Both were sipping at a soda, and Al held a Cigar in his right hand.
Al sat up, grabbed a near by loud speaker and yelled into it,

“HEY SLACKERS! PICK UP THE FUCKIN’ PACE HERE HUH?! WE’RE NEVER GONNA GET
THERE WITH YOU SORRY ASSES TRAILIN’ BEHIND US!!”

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN WE GET THERE AL!” Jay shouted from the back of
the line. Then he resumed panting.

“No you’re not!” Mike objected. “I’m killing him! Heh...heh...” Mike’s laugh
was spaced out with his pants of exhaustion.

Tenchi looked over at Oof.

“Are you okay Oof?”

“Oh, about as okay as I can be, carrying sixty pounds of luggage on my back
and running a seventy mile hike up through a field and up a mountain. Plus,
I think the mini-van fumes are starting to get to me.”

“I’m sorry about this Oof,” Tenchi apologized.

“Don’t be, I gave him the idea.”

“THAT IS RIGHT!” Gannondorf shouted from behind Oof. “If YOU hadn’t
suggested this whole stupid idea about the women riding in the mini-van,
we’d all be fine!”

“Oh shut up!” Mario roared. “You aren’t-a helping the situation!”

Tenchi sighed and asked Oof, “Does Al always warp you good intentions?”

“Sometimes. Others he simply mocks them.”

“Well, it’s-a okay Oof,” Mario smiled with a tired grin. “You did your-a
best. Besides, you were just-a being a gentleman.”

“Mario’s right.” Tenchi comforted. “It’s not your fault Al’s an ass.”

“HEY! I HEARD THAT!” Al roared through the loud speaker.

“AHHHHHH!!” Kirby cried. “HELP! MY FEET CAN’T TOUCH THE GROUND!! AL TIED THE
ROPE ON WRONG!!”

Falco looked up at Kirby.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

“THE ROPE WAS IN MY MOUTH!! IT WAS ICKY!!”
“Hold on Kirby,” Bowser replied. He crossed over to Kirby and untied him. He
then put Kirby on his shoulders.

“Gee...thanks Bowser,” Kirby smiled, a surprised smile on his face.

“No problem,” The beast replied. Then Bowser realized something. He did
something nice.

“BUT DON’T LET THIS THINK I LIKE YOU!” He added

Suddenly, Heather and Sasami poked their heads out the window.

“Hey Oof!” Heather called. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah,” Oof replied through a pant. “I guess so.”

“Here,” Sasami said, handing a glass of Lemonade to Heather. “Heather is
going to send this glace of lemonade to you guys. Be ready to catch it.”

“WAIT! How the hell did you guys make lemonade in the car?”

“...Very carefully,” Sasami and Heather replied nervously. From inside, the
others could hear Mihoshi speaking.

“Now my shirt is yellow! I LIKE YELLOW! And I can lick my shirt! I bet you
can’t lick YOUR shirt.”

“Mihoshi,” Ryoko began. “Shut the hell up.”

Tenchi sighed. Then he looked up and said, “Thanks you guys. Some lemonade
would be great!”

“No problem Tenchi!” The girls replied with a smile. Tenchi looked at
Heather. Her long red hair waving in the breeze. She seemed so pretty. He
wondered if she had a boyfriend.

“Hey! HEY TENCHI!” Oof called.

“Huh? Wha? Sorry Oof.”

“Don’t go spacing out on us. We need all the runners we can get.”

Snow Bird, who was perched on the pile of luggage on King Oof’s back
proclaimed,

“Look everyone! Here comes some lemonade!”

Heather and Sasami began to release the glasses of yellow liquid. They
literally shot backwards towards the group. One by one, each of the runners
caught the drink. Heather was about to send back another one, when it
slipped from her fingers.

“Oh crap! WATCH OUT OOF!”

Oof looked up, and saw the glass spiraling at him. Oof quickly ducked,
Gannondorf, Alex, Bowser (who grabbed Kirby off his head),and Mario mimicked
the action. The lemonade finally smacked into the unsuspecting face of Roy,
who collapsed to the ground, and began to drag along the ground.

“AH! YOU IDIOT!” Gannondorf screamed to Heather “SASAMI KNEW HOW TO THROW
IT! PERHAPS SHE SHOULD DO IT FROM NOW ON!!”

“SHUT UP GANNONDORF!” Tenchi, Al, and Oof roared in Heather’s defense.

“If it weren’t for her, you’d be dyin’ of thirst, because you’re SUCH a
shitty runner!” Al bellowed.

“CARE TO PROVE THAT YOU ARE A BETTER RUNNER, FAT BOY!?” Gannondorf
challenged.

“Oooooh. THAT is IT!” Al roared. He handed the loud speaker to George, and
unsheathed his magical croquet mallet. It began to glow as soon as he
unsheathed it. He then leaped at Gannondorf.

With a loud smash, Al slammed Gannondorf in the head. Gannondorf plummeted
to the ground, and Al lifter his body and the suitcases he carried onto his
back. Al ran there with the rest of them for the remainder of the trip.

Finally, another hour or so later, the Masaki van pulled outside the front
of the lobby. The men collapsed in their spot, just as Roy and Gannondorf
began to stir from their unconsciousness. The girls rushed from the van and
went to comfort them.

“Are you alright Mario?” Peach asked concerned.

“I’ll be-a okay, thanks for...”

“And Alex! I was so worried! You could have died from exhaustion!”

“No, I’ve been through more tedious exercise than that. But thank you.” Alex
forced a tired smile from his body. Heather and Kiyone rushed to Oof.

“Are you okay Oof? I’m sorry that the glass slipped. I just lost my grip
and...”

“It’s okay Heather,” Oof grabbed her hand. “I know it wasn’t your fault. It
wasn’t anyone's. It happens.”

“Do you want something else to drink?” Kiyone offered.

“Nah, I think I’ll live. Hopefully.”

Al puffed at a Cuban cigar.

“Man, you’re all a bunch of sorry shits. I’ve ran harder and faster than
that plenty of times.”

“Well it sure doesn’t show.” Ryoko commented. Al looked up at her and
glared.

“I sure as hell don’t consider ya a lady,” Al snarled. “So don’t think I
won’t smack yer sorry face.”

Ryoko ignored him and hovered over to Tenchi.

“Oh my love, are you okay?”

“Yeah, thanks Ryoko, I’m fine.”

“BACK OFF YOU CRAZY SNOB!” Ryoko roared suddenly. She had done it by
instinct. But surprisingly, Ayeka was helping Link to his feet.

“Oh Lord Link! You look exhausted! Please, let me help.”

“Thank you miss Ayeka. You are too kind.”

“...That’s sure as hell weird...” Ryoko muttered.

“ Well look at it this way, Now can you drool all over Tenchi yourself.”
Heather muttered.

“HEY SHUT UP!” Ryoko roared.

“Why should I? You know it’s true. And don’t think about fighting me. We
both know I can kick your ass.”

Heather and Kiyone lifted Oof and rested him on their shoulders. Sasami and
Ryo-ohki followed closely behind. Ryoko bubbled in anger.

“OOOOOOHHH!! I HATE HER!” She exclaimed. Tenchi just shot Heather a serene
smile.

“DON’T LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT!”

“Sorry Ryoko.”

Mihoshi wandered over to Jay and helped him to his feet.

“Thanks Mihoshi.” Jay thanked. He shot he a sincere grin.

“You’re welcome!” She smiled in reply.

Kirby, Bowser, King Oof, and Snow Bird, stood in a corner by the building.
The four sighed.

“I wish I could have someone fall in love with ME.” Bowser moaned.

“You’re not alone. Love is just unfair. It stinks.” Kirby sighed.

“Reshta shi ne kren. Esnek Ribbonsth?” King Oof mumbled.

“King Oof says, ‘You have a girl friend Kirby. Remember Ribbon?”

Kirby looked at Snow Bird.

“Oh Yeah!” Love isn’t so stinky after all!” Kirby smiled.

The other three sighed.

After the group had finally recovered and settled the matter of the rooms,
they finally all went down into the hot springs. Mr. Masaki had decided to
reserve his own hot springs (to give the group their privacy, and to avoid
perverted temptation.) All the men went to the appropriate side, and all the
women to theirs.

“...I really don’t want to do this.” Falco muttered.

“Why?” Oof asked. “Do you not have a penis or something?”

“Ummm...that’s not it...”

“Then you don’t have a thing to be embarrassed about. It’s just us guys.
Besides, even if you didn’t, neither do Al or George or Kirby. I think...”

“Listen, can we change the subject. I just don‘t like Getting naked.”

“Well, you don’t-a got much of a choice here-a Falco.” Mario commented,
pushing Flaco into the water.

“WAUGGGGGGH!” Falco cried as he splashed. The bird’s white towel flew into
the air, and Mario caught it.

“Nice moves Mario!” Oof cheered, slapping Mario a high five.

“You-a bet!” Mario replied.

“YOU GUYS SUCK!!” Falco roared angrily, as the rest of the group burst into
laughter. Kirby’s laugh grew to a quiet chuckle, and he looked up at the
other two.

“Come on in you guys! The water’s great!” He called.

Oof and Mario removed their towels and slowly crawled into the water. Kirby
was right. It was quite soothing.

Tenchi sighed. It had been a long and tough day. And he prayed that he would
never have to run so far again. He looked over at Oof.

“Well, it may have not been my choice, but at least we certainly made it
here.”

“You can say that Tenchi,” Nashant concurred, wiping sweat from his brow.
“That is one exercise I hope we’ll never have to repeat.”

“Of course we will ya schmucks!” Al bellowed. “How the hell do ya plan we
get home otherwise?”

The gang all glared angrily at Al. Link grabbed the Master Sword, which
rested nearby.

“I suggest you change that statement, Al,” Link advised.

“I mean...we’ll think of somethin’. Right George?”

“Ya mon! Somethin’...” George agreed nervously.

The group sighed with relief and returned to their relaxing. Tenchi looked
around and sighed happily. Never had he been surrounded by so many friends.
Especially those of the male gender. It felt nice. He didn’t have to feel so
nervous. He slid in his seat. He looked out at the group.

“I’m glad you guys decided to come. It would be kinda weird without you
guys. It almost feels like we’ve been old friends for ages.”

“Yeah, it kind of does...” Roy nodded in agreement, staring towards the
stars. Tenchi gazed up at them as well. They seemed so beautiful. They
shined even brighter tonight. Suddenly, Kirby pulled at Tenchi’s arm. He
looked down at the pink ball of puff.

“We should thank you Tenchi! You’ve been awesome!” Kirby grinned.

“That’s right,” Alex agreed with a nod. “You’ve been a most kind host.”

“Hey man, I enjoy the view at your house!” Mike shot in.

“What do you mean?”

“Hey Tenchi! In case you haven’t noticed, you’re surrounded by beautiful
women!” Mike continued. “Especially Ryoko. Mrrrrow! Heh heh heh. Speaking of
which...”

Mike tried to scramble up the dividing wall between the women’s and men’s
springs. As Mike’s head peeked over, A wooden bucket flew over the wall,
smacking the pervert in the head.

“STAY ON YOUR SIDE YOU PERV!!” Kiyone’s voice roared. Mike fell into the
pool with a splash. The group burst into laughter, and when it grew quiet,
Al decided to continue the conversation.

“No man,” Al shot. “Ryoko’s a bitch. Personally, I’d choose Kiyone myself.
Now THERE is a fox!” Roy seemed somewhat hurt by Al’s comment. Tenchi had
noticed Roy had been watching Kiyone lately.

“What about you Jay?” Falco asked.

“Sorry guys, I’m staying out of this one,” Jay replied. “I wouldn’t too
attached anyway. We’re gonna be leaving soon enough.”

“Well, if we weren’t,” Bowser began “I’d go for Heather. There’s something
about her attitude and her smarts that’s just so damn sexy! God, I’d like to
love her like...”

Oof grabbed the Big Oof (his sword) and pointed it at Bowser’s throat.
Bowser clinged to the wall in fright.

“Finish that sentence and you’re going to be breathing through two holes ass
munch!!” he roared at Bowser with a vengeance. Tenchi saw this and grabbed
Oof’s arm harshly, forcing him back.

“Oof, calm down! It was just Bowser’s opinion! There’s no need to go and
kill anyone.”

“Right, sorry Tenchi. Sorry Bowser.”

“It’s okay Oof. I’ll just lay off that subject.”

Gannondorf chuckled.

“You’re a fool Bowser. Love is something more than just physical emotion for
some woman you hardly know. Try the love of a father and his child. That
forever bond that spans distances of thousands of millions of miles. That,
my foolish friend, is true love.”

“Shut up Gannon,” Bowser shot back. “You’ve gotten all lovey dovey ever
since you proclaimed yourself Sasami’s dad.”

The group just stared at Gannondorf. A peculiar look crossed their faces.

“Father? When in-a the hell did-a this come a-from?”

“BOWSER YOU MORON! I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THAT!”
“What? It wouldn’t work anyway! It’s obvious you ain’t her father! Just look
at your pasty gray skin...”

Gannondorf grabbed Bowser’s head and began to smash his fist into it.

“Hey, Chill!” Mario objected. “Actually, I-a kind-a noticed the change too.
And to-a be honest, It’s kind-a like this new-a you. You-a got somethin’ to
live-a for. And you’re-a lot kinder.”

Gannondorf smiled.

“Thank you friend.”

Tenchi added,

“Besides, everyone needs love. Even evil warlords.”

Tenchi saw the others nod. He then looked up at the sky and thought about
Sakuya. She had been his one true love, and she was gone forever now. God
how he missed her. He longed for her voice, and her presence. Had he been
alone, he would have cried her name. He sat in the spring and felt the water
flow. It was relaxing, but it hardly eased the pain. Or at least, the pain
in his heart. Perhaps Heather...

He felt a hand clasp on each shoulder. To Tenchi’s left was Oof, and to his
right Mario.

“Are you-a okay Tenchi?” Mario asked. “You-a seem upset. Even a little-a bit
spacey.”

“I’m okay guys, really.”

“Well, hey man, if you ever need friends to talk to, you get Mario and I.
We’ll be there for you.”

“That’s-a right!” Mario agreed with a smile.

Tenchi smiled a sad smile.

“Thanks guys.”

“Now come on!” Oof added. “King Oof! Take a shot of the three of us with
that damn camera!”

“Rokay!” King Oof nodded. He held the camera to his face and said,

“Qwean!”

“What?”

“That means, ‘Cheese!” Snow Bird explained.

In the women’s spring, the situation was a bit similar.

“Mihoshi, what are you doing?”

“I brought a chlorine thingy Kiyone!”

“Mihoshi, this is a natural hot spring. IT DOESN’T NEED ONE!”

“Oh...I guess you’re right.”

“She really isn’t too bright, is she?” Peach asked.

“Well, she was already blonde, so I guess nature was working against her to
make her thick.” Heather commented. Peach glared at Heather.

“What?! In the game you do all this ‘Oh, did I win?’ Whenever you win! It’s
stupid and annoying!”

“Well, I’m sorry, but that is obviously different than reality, isn’t it?!”
Heather grew quiet for a moment.

“I guess you’re right. Sorry Peach.”

“It’s alright Heather. I forgive you.”

“HOW CAN YOU LIKE HER!?” Ryoko roared. “HEATHER IS A BITCH!”

“QUITE INDEED!” Ayeka agreed with the space pirate.

“Damn right I am. And I can make it much harder for you and Ayeka if you
keep pushing the wrong buttons.”

Ryoko was about to snap a reply, but Kioyne placed her hand in front of her
mouth and advised against it. Sasami, wishing to venture from further
fights, thought she might bring up a more enjoyable conversation. She heard
girls talk about this sort of thing a lot, so she figured she would bring it
up. Perhaps as female bonding.

“So, who do you think it cute?” Sasami innocently smiled.

“The girls just blinked at her.

“BUST OUT THE MARSHMALLOWS! GET THE DIARIES READY! IT’S TIME FOR A THIRD
GRADE SLEEP OVER!” Heather joked.

Ayeka, and Ryoko simply looked at Sasami and blurted in unison “I love
Tenchi!” They turned their heads away, though it was obvious Ayeka had doubt
in her voice. Peach simply looked at the water in sadness, not sure if she
was ready to take part in this conversation.

Heather looked at Sasami and said, “Look Sasami, I know you’re trying to
bond us, and that’s really sweet. But I hate to tell you this, many of the
women here are too immature to handle a subject this advanced. Nor do any of
us feel comfortable about it.” Ayeka and Ryoko scowled at Heather at the
mention of immaturity.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Heather continued. “We know you were just trying to be nice.”

Sasami smiled, then saw Heather leap at a coin on the walkway of the spring.

“OH! SHINNY!”

“OOOOOH! GIMME GIMME GIMME!” Mihoshi leaped for joy.

The two women began to struggle over the coin, when they noticed a few sets
of eyes peeking over the divider wall. When the eyes knew they were spotted.
They dived back over.

“Hmmmm...hey Heather,” Kiyone whispered into Heather’s ear.

Heather smiled evilly and nodded.

“I like the way you think Kiyone.”

Over in the men’s spring, Mike, Bowser, George, and Falco were leaning
against the back of the dividing wall. They panted slightly.

“Ay mon, do you tink they saw us?”

“I think we’re safe George,” Falco replied. “We were pretty stealthy about
it.”

“You guys are immature idiots,” Nashant sighed. “This is very sad.”

“Shut up Nashant,” Mike shot. “You’re just jealous cause we got first peek.
Heh heh heh.”

“No, I really couldn’t care.”

“Surrrrre Nashant,” Bowser replied. Suddenly, they heard call from over the
other side,

“~Yooooo-hoooo! Oh boys! You want a free peek?”

“...Seems rather fishy,” Falco muttered.

“Come on Falco! Don’t be so freakin’ paranoid!” Bowser laughed. “Free
boobies!”

Suddenly, on Oof’s shoulders, stood his good an evil Consciences appeared.

“Hey, Oof! Come on man!” the evil sock puppet encouraged. “Free breasts!
Probably Heather’s! Come on Oof!”

“Listen, Evil Conscience, It just doesn’t seem right...”

“Exactly,” the holy mini Mario agreed. “You’re doing the right thing Oof.
Avoid those evil temptations.”

“Umm, Good Conscience, I knew that. That’s why I’m doing it...”

“You’re gonna listen to this fuckin’ pansy?!” Evil Conscience Obey him and
you’re never gonna get laid!”

“Listen guys,” Oof muttered. “This moment is already akward enough without
you guys involved. Just go okay?”

Tenchi and Mario looked at Oof arguing at the blank spaces of air.

“...What is he doing?” Tenchi asked.

“He’s-a arguing with his-a shoulders.”

“No,” Alex corrected. “Actually, his conscience.” Mario and Tenchi just
looked at Oof curiously.

“SHUT UP GOOD CONSCIENCE! THAT WON’T HELP!”

Meanwhile, Mike and the others had finally gathered enough courage. The four
peeked barely over the edge, and saw six pairs of breasts. Heather, Kiyone
and Mihoshi, or so they believed.

“ALRIGHT!” The four stood up, just as the girls planned. Perfect. Ryoko
suddenly teleported right in front of them.

“BWAAAAAH!” They screamed. “RYOKO!?”

“That’s right boys,” Ryoko said, charging up an energy blast. “If you want a
real show, just stand reaaal still.”

Ryoko unleashed a barrage of lasers, sending the four perverts flying into
the third spring away from them. The other customers began to panic in the
chaos, as the deviders to the other springs were also damaged and began to
crumble. This included the men and women’s that Oof and the others were in.
At the wall crumbled, Oof, Al, Mario, and Tenchi crawled out of the spring,
wrapped on their towels, and headed to the inside of the hotel.

“So much for relaxing.” Tenchi sighed. The other three sadly nodded in
agreement.

Yumashinto sat and waited. They had been weakened by their recreation, and
truly thought they were safe. Yumashinto glared at the monitor that blazed
in front of him.

“It is time.”

Oof sat in his room, when a knock came at the door. Oof marched open and
there stood Heather, hair soaked, and covered in a blue bathrobe. She rubbed
her glasses slightly, then looked at Oof.

“Hi, can I come in?”

Oof stood puzzled.

“I don’t see why not.”

Heather came in and sat down in a chair by the window. She grabbed a soda
from the nearby mini-fridge. She clinked open the top and guzzled it down,
followed by a satisfactory sigh. She looked at Oof.

“I’m sorry Oof,” She whispered sadly.

“For what?”

“For being so stupid earlier. It just seemed really funny...”

“Heather, it was funny,” Oof replied.

“Yeah, but it was really immature and I shouldn’t have helped in it...”

“Heather, they were being immature and deserved it.”

“But we caused so much trouble,” She pointed out.

“The hotel didn’t mind too much. Besides, I’m sure you’ve done worse.”

Heather smiled.

“Stop making me feel better. It ruins the mood.”

Oof smiled back. The peaceful moment was shattered when an explosion rang
outside. Smoke and screams began to rise from the ashes.

“My god! Heather, get everyone together!”

The Smash Bros. gang, the Oof gang, and Tenchi gang rushed outside into the
chaos. Demons of all sizes and shapes scrambled around, dragging the
innocent dead bystanders with them. Many others still suffering.

“Shit! What the hell is this?!”

“I don’t know Al,” Tenchi replied. “But we have to save these people and
stop this!”

“Agreed, let’s finish this!” Oof commented.

“Hey, toots!” Al motioned to Ayeka, “Take Sasami back inside. You and George
watch her, Mr. Masaki, and Mike.” Ayeka, despite being called toots, agreed
and she and George rushed inside.

Ryoko was the first to attack. She, Falco, Jay, and the two police men fired
long range attacks from the back, while the rest of the group rushed in.
Tenchi unsheathed his sword of the Jurai. Oof removed the Big Oof from it’s
scabbard. Two demons noticed them and rushed forward. They were not fast
enough though. They attempted a slash, which barely cut Oof and missed
Tenchi completely.

Tenchi and Oof retaliated with a duel tech, involving both their blades. The
two demons flashed into two halves, and black blood oozed from them. Of
course, this was before the two heroes were swarmed by a sea of demons.

Mario, Bowser, and Al fought off the horde on their own area. Al smacked one
of the demons in the face. The demon crumpled to the ground, only to be
replaced by another one.

“Damn! These bastards just keep coming!” Al roared, as one of the demons
slashed Al’s face. Al growled in pain. Bowser shoved his fists through one
of the demons. It’s black blood was thick and acidic.

“OWWWW! CRAP! There blood burns!”

Mario shot a wave of fire. It burned a few, but many kept coming through.

“There’s a-no end to-a these guys!” Mario angrily yelled.

“Well, find something, we don’t got much fucking time!” Al bellowed, fending
off another.

Oof and Tenchi were fighting off the best they could. But it was no use.
Tenchi felt the demons tear at his flesh. This was the end...

Suddenly, a golden aura burst from Oof, and his hair grew longer and blonde.
bhis mucles became larger and more defined. And his sword grew longer and
more jagged. the Big Oof changed to a gold color. Oof began to smash his
fist into the beings and slash the now enormous big Oof through the crowd of
demons. Tenchi smiled as Oof finished.

“That was amazing Oof! I didn’t know you could do that!”

Oof looked terrified.

“That’s just it. I shouldn’t be able to.”

Heather, Peach, and Roy were escorting the remaining civilians away, while
at the same time fending off Demons.

“Why are they after us so fucking much!?” Heather blurted. She stabbed her
scythe in one of the demons, ripped it out, then spun around and sliced one
behind her in half.

“I don’t know, but whatever it is, they want it bad!” Roy commented,
slashing through a zombie, sending it in flames.

“Forget them,” Peach interrupted. “Concentrate on saving the civilians.” One
demon tired to rush her, but she smashed it’s head with her frying pan,
followed by an explosive Peach Bomber.

Roy slashed through another zombie, when suddenly, a swarm leaped from the
roof and onto Roy.

“Roy!” Peach screamed!

Roy’s hand jabbed up through the pile.

“GO! SAVE YOURSELVES! GO NOW!!”

The women didn’t argue, they turned and continued they’re escorting duties.
One of the demons piled on Roy screamed,

“Yumashinto! We have one! We have the Mortal Pillar of Fire!”

King Oof and Alex were fending off against the demons by themselves. Alex
had unleashed a few orcs and dragons to assist them, plus had combinded with
his angel, an orc, a dragon, and a zombie card to become his Supreme Chimera
form, armed witht he holy sword, the Illuminous. Link and Nashant were near
by. Nashant had used Mirror bombs on all four of them, making them five
times as hard to hit. Nashant and Link and Alex had been using multiple
triple techs, leaving King Oof alone. King Oof’s fists began to bleed, due
to the excessive amount of acid that had burned them. King Oof was growing
tired and weary, when suddenly, King Oof was jumped from behind.

“KING OOF!” Nashant screamed. Nashnat rushed through the crowd, cutting
three demons in half as he ran. Link pulled the Master Sword forward and
skewered two demons. Alex decapitated five, three with the Illuminous, two
with his orc hands. But it was no use. The sea of demons engulfed King Oof,
and they screamed,

“We have the Mortal Pillar of Earth!” And with a flash of light, they
disappeared. The three boys sat there, swept up in anger, grief and
confusion.

Ayeka and George had tried there best to protect Sasami and Mr. Masaki, but
they were no match. And Mike had been knocked unconscious from Ryoko. Sasami
had to flee. She had managed to escape the hotel and made it into the near
by woods. Sadly, the demons were hot on her trail.

“Come here little pillar,” One teased. “What a cute little pillar.”

Sasami screamed as one wretched her arm. It held her to it’s face, it’s eyes
glowing a dark orange. Sasami screamed louder and pounded on it’s chest.
Ryo-Ohki tired to attack, but she was brushed aside. The demon looked at the
now horrified Sasami and spread an evil grin.

Suddenly, it made an urk of pain. It’s expression changed to pain and it
dropped Sasami to the ground. The poor girl looked up and saw Gannondorf
holding the demon by the head. He grinned menacingly at it, then began to
squeeze it’s head in his palm. The demon squirmed in agony, as it’s rich
dark blood poured over Gannondorf’s hand. It burned. But he had felt worse.
He threw the now dead demon aside, and then smacked the other with a Warlock
Punch, sending it spiraling into a tree fifteen feet away. He then
unsheathed his sword, and cut the remaining two in half, with little effort
at all. Soon, it was just him and Sasami.

“I’m sorry child,” he began, “I did not mean to frighten you.”

Sasami burst into tears of confusion and fear, and then wrapped herself in
Gannondorf’s arms.

Al, Heather, Alex, amd Oof had gone to their super forms. (Oof = Super Oof,
Heather = Chaos Angel, Al = Warrior Spirit, Alex = Supreme Chimera.)
Heather’s now incredibly long red hair flowed behind her black wings.

“Any suggetsions?” She asked Mario.

“We’re-a outnumbered. What-a can we-a do?”

Al’s spikey hair and now muscular tall body shined in the moonlight. He held
the now enormous hammer over his shoulder.

“We sure as hell can’t give up.”

Suddenly, before the group had time to react, the demons looked up towards
the sky, as if listening to someone. Then they all vanished in a puff of
smoke. There in their place stood Yumashinto.

“What the hell...?” Oof began. “What the fuck are you?”

“I am Yumashinto.” It began. “You have what I need, foolish mortals. I
require the five Mortal Pillars.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Heather bellowed.

“I have the first two. The one of fire and the one of Earth...”

“GIVE THEM BACK ASSHOLE!” Ryoko threatened.

“Fool. You cannot threaten me. I shall do as I please. After all, I brought
you all to this universe for this very reason.”

“You...YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!” Oof roared.

“Indeed, and I shall take Roy and King Oof as my own. They have a far
greater purpose.”

“Give them back,” Tenchi growled in a low tone, drawing his Jurai saber. “Or
suffer the consequences.”
“Again, you threaten me. You should be glad I have spared you. I could have
killed you all and taken the other three pillars. But I am in no huge hurry.
And there will be plenty of opportunities. Just think of this, as a dark
omen. An omen of things to come. Beware Tenchi, Oof, and Mario. For once I
have what I need, your souls shall be the first to burn.”

Before anyone could reply, the demon vanished behind a cloud of smoke,
leaving the group standing in the ruins alone. Filled with nothing but there
anger and grief.

                             To Be Continued...