Disclaimer: All the following characters (with the exception of those from OoF!) are not my creation. Tenchi characters belong to their respected creator and are property of Pioneer. All Smash Bros. characters are property of Hal. and Nintendo Inc. Yadda yadda and so forth. OoF! (Yes, the last ’F’ is capitalized) is an original creation by yours truly. Although I have no patent, should you feel any need to use these characters (only God knows why...) Please let me know (email address provided below.) Please be aware that this story contains violence, small drug use (just cigars), swearing, small sexual content, and other stuff that is bad and might offend some people. Also, most of the characters in OoF! are based off real people, so for their privacy purposes, their last names will not be mentioned. If you wish to comment, complement, insult the story, insult one of my loved ones, or inform me that my work (aka crap) is about to be subjected to MST-ing, please reach me at darksavior15@yahoo.com. Thank you. Before we begin, I feel it is important to explain what OoF! is and who the characters are (Thus avoiding really long, annoying character bios in the story itself, which drags the story at a horribly slow pace.) OoF! is my original Manga, based off the events that occur in my everyday life. Only...exaggerated. OoF! has all the typical anime quirks, from chibbi characters, to mechs, to cute furry animals. Hell, one of my friends and I even have digimon (none of which will be appearing in this story). Now, enough of the summary. Let’s meet the characters. Oof: This is me. Oof is my real nickname. Since another character in the story has the same name as I, I will use this name instead. I am the main character. I am exactly six feet have black hair and hazel green eyes. I have the ability to power into different forms. My weapon of choice is a large broad sword. Any other info about me you can find out in this fic. Al: Al is my alter ego. In a sense. Al is a purple dinosaur (assume it’s an Allosaurus) with green eyes, spikes, and a white belly, and is a foot and a half tall. He’s also thirty and he’s fat to boot. He was a childhood toy given to me at age eight. He started out as cute and innocent as I was, but as the cruelness of reality sunk in to me, Al’s personality suited to match. He now reads porno, smokes cigars, swears like a sailor, and plays croquet. His weapon is a magical croquet mallet. Al can also change forms. Heather: Heather is my love interest. She has really long red hair (down to her hips), wears glasses, has green hazel eyes, and is about 5’5. She is almost exactly like me, personality wise. Heather know I love her dearly, but I think it makes us both uncomfortable, so we don’t talk about it. Heather’s weapon is a scythe, and she too can power up into another form. George the Magical Pineapple: Yes...he’s a pineapple. From Jamaica. He is actually a descendent from the fruit in the Garden of Eden (thus explaining his powers.) In Jamaica, George was a super hero. Now, he lives with me. George is a foot tall, and has blue eyes, and a mechanical left arm (it was cut off. Long story.) Alex: This is one of my best friends. He is exactly like me, only better. He is shorter by a few inches, but he has blues eyes and blonde hair. He is also smarter, more athletic, and a devil with the ladies. Alex is a master at the game of Magic the Gathering, so his weapon is his Magic cards. He summons the beasts within in them to assist us. Alex can also power up. King Oof & Snow Bird: King Oof is a yeti who was originally Oof, until I stole his title by accident. He came looking for me to take it back, and he challenged me to a fight. He almost won. Now he is King Oof, and he is a good friend. He just doesn’t speak English. So Snow Bird translates his talk for the rest of us. King Oof has white long fur, large black puppy eyes, large fangs, lanky arms, and is 11 feet tall. Snow Bird is 7 inches tall, and is completely white with black eyes. Jay: This is another of my best friends. He lives in MA. I don’t see him too often, but that’s okay. Jay is about 6’1, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and barely overweight. His weapons are strength increasing gauntlets, which can also launch Saw Blades. Nashant: Nashant is my middle-eastern (he’s not from there, that is his ethnicity) friend, who is very calm, polite, and kind. He is also a master assassin. He is about 5’3, black hair, and has bits of facial hair (a mustache is forming. ^_^) He wields a katana, and is unmatched in the art of illusions. Mike: Mike is a perverted, psychotic, freak. He has brown hair, and is always in a straight jacket. Mike can power up (Though it is not as cool as the rest of ours, or as powerful. When Mike powers up it is the only time his is out of his straight jacket.) His weapon is his own psychotic behavior. My Conscience: Everyone has one of these. A good side and an evil side. A constant struggle to define your true inner self. Mine however, depicts my screwed up persona. My good side is Mario (you know, “Okey-dokey, here we go!!”) and my evil one is a sock puppet. (If you only knew the things I knew about sock puppets...) Okay, there are other characters, but they aren’t important to know about right now. So screw them. LET’S GET DIS PARTY STARTED!!!! And Now... Crossed Spectrums Part One: No Need for Excessive Cross-Overs Our story begins in a dark place. For beyond the reaches of man, or any mortal being with a soul. There is no light in this place, with the exception of the horrifying light that glows from the monster’s eyes. Eyes as red as a sea of blood. Ironic, for that was the very reason this demon was sealed here in the first place. Chained to the space around him, and sealed away by the holiest of powers, he could not break free. He was banished to this place for all eternity, with the hope that he would never escape, and the terror know as Yumashinto, and was never to be released. They however, had not predicted that humanity would turn towards the darkness, weakening the chains that bonded him, and ever increasing his power. One fateful day, in this forgotten universe, there was a creak. The hell child’s eyes burst open, and he gazed at the ground. There, at his feet, was the chain. Yumashinto could see that the chain was beginning to snap apart. He felt a new urge of hope, and p ulled at the chain. Every planet within every universe grew silent, as the chain snapped, echoing on in the forever stretching darkness around him. The demon pulled at the other five chains, and one by one, hope fled from the angels, as they knew what was happening. Yumashinto had escaped. The fiend stood there, for what seemed like an eternity. That moment of freedom, it was overwhelming. Yumashinto burst into laughter, thoughts of the pain he could now inflict whirling through his head. But, his quest was not yet over. He needed to break free from this hellish dimension. After this was accomplished, all that remained was to find the Five Mortal Pillars, who would act as the key to his weapon. The Final Sphere of Hell. Unlike the other spheres of Hell, this was not a plain of existence. This, was the most powerful weapon imaginable, capable of wiping out everything God has created within the blink of an eye. But again, first he had to escape. This was easy enough, for a sudden pillar of light began to cast green light into the shadows. Yumashinto stepped forward. His eyes, blood red. His skin, a dark blue, almost black. His hair appeared like long, thin spikes, and flowed from his head to his waist. He had large leathery wings that looked almost like those of a bat. His face revealed no nose or mouth. And his hands were large enough to hold an entire human head. Four fingers each with a claw at the end. The demon stood straight up for the first time in over two millennia. He reached his height of 8’4 and chuckled again. “And so, the onslaught has come. It shall be known that the reign of God ends this day. And the reign of Yumashinto, shall be forever more.” Across Space and Time... “LORD TENCHI!!!” “AUGHHHH!” “TENCHI!!” The young man was sent sprawling backwards by the large colorful beam, and slammed into the side of an oak as a result. Tenchi plummeted to the ground and lurched forward. “Oops,” Washu muttered, smiling nervously and giving a casual shrug. “WASHU! YOU DAMN BITCH!” Ryoko roared. “YOU TOLD US THIS THING WAS SAFE FOR TESTING!” Ayeka paid no attention to the quarrel and rushed over to Tenchi’s side “I thought it was. Apparently, I still need to kink out a few bugs I guess.” “YOU GUESS?!” Ryoko bellowed Ayeka, at the time gazing silently at Tenchi’s unconscious body, not sure how she could help him, gazed at Washu with anger in her eyes. “Miss Washu, you know that you have tested our trust time and time again. Typically, you pull through. However, this level of incompetence is unacceptable! You never mentioned anything about endangering Lord Tenchi! ” “First of all, the Phatasma Cannon is on stun. Secondly, if we’re all that concerned about Tenchi, shouldn’t we get him some medical aid or something?” “Grrrrrr....SHUT UP WASHU!” Ryoko and Ayeka screamed in unison. Little did the girls know that Tenchi was as of now sneaking off into the near by underbrush. Tenchi, in fact, was not hurt at all. The beam had merely launched him back. Tenchi was only in fact slightly hurt from slamming into the tree. The boy took cover behind another large tree and sighed inwardly. Partly because that this was just another typical, irritating day for him. But also because it really wasn’t supposed to be, which in a way was also very pathetic. Once Tenchi was assured the coast was clear, and the ladies were truly distracted, he began to crawl away slowly. Once he was sure he was out of visible range, he broke out into a full speed dash up the side of a near by hill. Finally, Tenchi found himself at the top. The view was breath taking. The small glimmering lights of the sun reflecting of Tokyo was far in the distance. Near by, he could see numerous mountains and a large lake, where he remembers going to swim at an earlier age. “Finally,” Tenchi murmured quietly. “Some peace at last. I know the girls are just being protective of me, especially with all the visions and dreams I’ve been having recently, but still...” His words trailed off. In fact, everyone had been a little worried ever since Tenchi first had the dream over a week ago. A young girl, maybe a year younger than himself, with flowing red hair, and a pair of glasses. That was what made Ayeka and Ryoko upset. But there was more. A boy, about the same age as the girl, armed with an enormous sword. And the little strange man, dressed in red and blue. And the demon...Tenchi shuttered at the image. The demon itself wasn’t necessarily fear invoking. But the other images...the cities in ruin, buried in flames. The bodies hanging from the crucifixes, there stomachs ripped open, and their body parts spilling onto the ground, as ravenous birds picked apart what was left. This wasn’t even the worst of it. Tenchi shook his head, trying to release the images from his sub-conscience. “I have a really bad feeling about all this.” Across Space and Time...again It was another typical summer day in Phoenix. It was boiling. Oof could literally feel his sweat evaporating off his skin. And of course, the AC was of little help. There was one upside. Oof’s friend, Jay, had come from Massachusetts to visit. Good. Now they could both boil together. Accompanying Oof and Jay, was a large portion of the rest of the gang. Alex sat along with the two friends previously mentioned on the couch, while Heather and George occupied the nearby love seat. Al sat on Heather’s lap, an ash tray near by as he puffed his Cuban cigar. “Al, do you mind?!” Heather growled, waving the smoke out of her face. “Sorry darlin’,” Al replied, his high pitched voice calmer than usual. He grinded the cigar into the ash tray and extinguished the fumes. Mike sat off in the corner, too hot to do any of his usual psychotic things. King Oof, possibly the hottest out of everyone with all his fur, had given up trying to bare with the weather and was now spending every waking moment in the pool. Nashant sat behind them all at the table, drinking a shot glass of Coke, and watching the TV from a distance. “STEEEEEEEEEVE!!” “Uuuuuh-oh.” Odd. Oof could have sworn that the comical styling of Steven Q. Urkel were a little more entertaining. But then again, he was seven last time he saw the show. Maybe his taste had grown up and he realized the show sucked. Or, maybe, he was just really hot. “Dude,” Jay spoke up. “This really sucks. Please tell me when can find on something better than this.” “...You have any suggestions?” Oof shot. “Well, gee, I dunno. Change the channel maybe?” “Don’t have the remote slick.” Oof replied. “Okay, then who does?” Heather’s arm slowly lurched up, the lowered again. Jay had come to understand why Oof had fallen head over heels for her. She was surprisingly gorgeous, but armed with a quick wit and a wacky personality to match the rest of them. “Well?” Jay growled “Change the channel!” “Too much energy. Too hot to use energy,” Heather replied with a lethargic tone. She pushed her glasses back upon her nose, since they had slid off slightly. “Well, what about GameCube?” “Oof sent her shopping for an AC repair man.” Alex replied. (side note: The GameCube (or GC) is a robot with a female AI and she is also deeply in love with Oof. GC also has a female body she can go into.) “Crap, is there anything we can do besides watch this?” “We can bake,” Heather replied “...You guys aren’t as much fun as Oof said you were.” “Yes, well, what did Oof tell you about us anyway? Specifically, ME?” Heather glared over at Oof. Oof began to dart his eyes nervously. “Ummmmm...nothing,” he replied quickly. “Don’t worry Heather,” Al said, gazing up from the TV. “All Oof said about you was good things. Like how fine an ass you got...” “WHAT?!” Heather’s eyes burned with the hell hidden in every woman. She stood up straight and glared at Oof menacingly. Oof let go a nervous smile and a quick chuckle and glared at Al. “Al’s just JOKING! Aren’t you Al?” “Well...” “Remember Al, I pay for your Twinkies, and my parents buy you your Cubans. This answer could affect your supply of both SIGNIFICANTLY.” “Yeah Heather! Don’t worry sweet heart! I was just playin’!” Al smiled nervously forcing a fake laugh. “Frromp Nag ta Mik na bootay ma kah.” King Oof rang from outside. “King Oof said ‘Oof typically talks about your rear end last.’ ” Snow Bird translated before returning to his relaxation. Heather gave Oof a curious look “Yeah,” Mike added “I usually hear him talkin’ about your breasts.” Heather glared at both Oof and Al. “Heather, you know I love you. Looks are just skin deep. They are not what I am always talking about. Tell him Jay,” Oof pleaded, the look of helplessness occupying his eyes. “Oof does say how smart you are, and how wonderful you are and how much fun you are to be around.” Heather looked over at Jay. She couldn’t help but blush a little, as a small smile crept across her face. “Really?” “Yes,” Nashant replied. “Oof is always saying how wonderful you are.” “But,” Alex added “Somehow, your body tends to wind up in the coversation anyway. Or at least when I talk to him. How about you guys?” “Same with me,” Jay concurred with a nod “Indeed.” Added Nashant, swigging back another sip. Heather’s smile faded, and she glared angrily at Oof and Al again. “Heh heh...sorry?” “I’LL KILL YOU!!” Heather roared, her scythe drawn into the air. “WAUUUUUGH!!” Al and Oof cried in unison, before they leaped from the couch and took off around the corner. Heather barely missed them, leaving a large slash across the couch. She lifted the blade and continued in hot pursuit. Outside the open door, the group could hear King Oof sigh. Nashant took another swig of his Coke. Alex, Jay and Mike simply grunted. George, who had been quiet all this time, finally spoke up. “Ay mon, I’ll start takin’ bets on who dey tink is gonna win dis won!” He yelled with a smile. “$10 dollars says Heather is gonna slice Oof and Al into Spam!” Jay raised, his voice filled with competition “You’re on!” Alex replied. “Nag ni ba chew daka!” King Oof bellowed with a laugh “King Oof says ‘I gotta go with Jay on this one.’ ” Snow Bird repeated. Oof and Al rushed up the stairs and into Oof’s room, slamming the door behind them and locking it. “QUICK! OOF! Go to Super Oof!” “I can’t stupid! GC has to channel the holy energy into me, REMEMBER!? Why don’t you go to your super form!?” he roared back at Al. “SHIT! I left my croquet mallet downstairs! NOW WE’RE FUCKED!!” “Wait, maybe someone will come and save us.” There was an awkward silence. “Kid, seriously. Now we’re fucked.” “Well, give me my bible,” Oof ordered. “Why?” “Maybe I can excersize her.” “...She’s not a demon you dumb shit,” Al informed dryly. “She’s an angry woman! There isn’t much of a damn difference!” Oof shot back. It had occurred to the two of them that Heather hadn’t tried to break in. It was frighteningly quiet. “Think she gave up?” Al asked. A Scythe pierced through the door. Al and Oof broke out into a scream. “AHHHHH SHIT! SHE’S BECOME A PSYCHO BITCH!!” Al screamed, his high pitched voice even higher. Before Oof could reply, a sudden vision flashed before him. A demon. Heather. Mario. Tenchi. Ryoko. Alex and the others. They stood there, blood sinking from the heavens, and the sky itself let loose a scream, more terrifying than anything Oof had ever heard before. Suddenly, Heather burst through the door. “AH HA!! Now I...Oof? Oof I was just joking,” Heather’s mood swung suddenly towards calm. “You know I wouldn’t hurt you. What’s wrong?” Oof was in a trance, and could neither hear nor see Heather. Suddenly, a blue portal opened up before the three of them. “Oh my god...OOF! SAY SOMETHING! COME ON, SNAP OUT OF IT!!” Heather pleaded “KID! NOW IS SUDDENLY NOT THE TIME TO GET ADD!! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE KID!!!!” Al roared. Too late, the portal grew larger, and swallowed the three of them in. It then began to run loose through the house. “What the hell...?” Jay mumbled, as the blue vortex ventured closer. “Everyone, get up and run mon!!” George leaped from the love seat and broke into flight. But he nor anyone else was fast enough. Within mere moments, they were all sucked into the portal. And just as mysteriously as it appeared, the portal vanished. Across Space and Time...(this is getting old...) “NOOOOOOOOO!” The evil entity known as the Master Hand began to explode. His brethren, the Crazy Hand, had been defeated, and sent to oblivion. Now he would join him. Mario and Link stood there. Link placed his sword back into it’s scabbard. Mario had cracked his knuckled. They had won. The two of them had managed to beat the Master Hand and his brother once and for all. And for know, the Nintendo Realm could rest peacefully. “Woo-hoo! Way to go Mario!” Roy called from a distance. “Mario! You’ve done it again! My knight in shining armor!” Peach smiled and blew Mario a kiss. “Well done Link! Couldn’t have done it better myself!” Falco yelled happily. “Yeah Link! You rock! Way to go Mario!” Kirby cheered triumphantly. Bowser and Gannondorf, the two reluctant allies, sat brooding in the corner. “Hmmph. We coulda done it too.” Bowser growled. “Indeed. Stupid overweight plumber and his pretty boy buddy.” Gannondorf nodded in agreement. Mario sighed with relief and looked over at Link and smiled. “You did pretty a-good there kiddo.” Link returned the grin. “Indeed. You yourself are fine warrior Mario. It was a pleasure to work with you.” Kirby moaned and then asked, “If we beat the Master Hand, does that mean we all have to go home now?” Mario had not even contemplated such a thought. It was a shame. Mario really had made such good friends. And it would be a shame to see them go to their respected universes again. Mario sighed again. “Yeah, I-a guess-a so.” “Such a shame too. We were just getting to know each other.” Roy added. “ENOUGH WITH THE SENTIMENTAL CRAP!!” Bowser roared with frustration. He leaped from the platform the others were all standing on, and onto the one where Mario and Link stood alone. Gannondorf followed shortly behind. “Indeed!” Gannondorf agreed. “This foolish alliance has gone on long enough! We agreed that once the major threat had been vanquished, or truce would cease! And you two have defeated the Master Hand. Thus, Bowser and I relinquish are alliance, and demand your blood be splattered on the floor! Am I not correct, Bowser?” Gannondorf gave a wicked smile. Bowser replied with a confused look, having no idea what Gannondorf had just said. “Huh?” “*Sigh* We get to kill Mario and Link.” “OH! Okay! Yeah, I’m with Gannon!” Link and Mario looked at each other and grinned. “Fine,” Link replied. “If it is a battle you desire...” “We’ll be more then-a happy to oblige!” Mario finished. Mario and Link ran towards the fiends. Mario connected first by smacking Bowser in the face. Bowser flew back, but quickly jumped to his feet and roared. Bowser curled into his shell and spun towards Mario. The move hit, slashing Mario numerous time, spilling blood across the field. “MARIO!” Peach cried in fear. They wanted to interfere, but this was there battle. They had defeated these villains numerous times before. They could defeat them again. Couldn’t they? Link charged at Gannondorf, unsheathing his sword as he ran. Gannondorf withdrew his own sword and the blades connected half way, shooting sparks into the air. Gannon slashed Link across the chest. Link yelped in pain and flipped backwards. Link touched the mark, blood leaking on his palm. Link gazed up. He noticed Gannondorf was very lethargic. That was it! Link’s speed was his advantage. As Gannondorf came closer, he made another attempt, this time a vertical slash. But Link easily revolved around the blade, and connected Gannondorf with three vertical slashes. “ARGGHHHH!! Damn you hero of time! Enough of this!” Gannondorf threw his sword to the side. “I will crush your head with my own hands, and feel your life ooze from your body!” Gannon connected two serious punched with Link, sending him sprawling back. It felt like Link had been hit by an oncoming stampede of horses. Link barely managed to get up. Gannondorf was coming closer. Knowing Gannondorf, he would probably use the infamous Warlock Punch, sending Link hurdling to his doom. Only one option remained. Link removed his hook-shot, and leached onto Gannondorf. “WHAT?!” Gannondorf burst. Link now held the villain in his palm, and held the evil fiend teetering over the edge to oblivion. Mario was doing just as well. Both he and Bowser were covered in both there own and each other’s blood. Both suffered burns, and now they had broken out into a fire match. Mario launched four more fire balls. Two connected. Bowser roared and shrugged away the pain. Bowser then rolled back his head and let loose fire from his mouth. “Crap. Now I-a can’t get to-a him. Unless...” That was it! While Bowser did that, he was completely susceptible to attack from behind, just like in the fiasco with the 120 power stars. Mario used his well known jumping ability, and somersaulted over Bowser. Landing behind him, Mario went into his fighter stance, and charged up to use his exploding fist attack. Before Bowser could react, Mario had unleashed the deadly Smash Attack, and sent Bowser flying. Bowser barely made it back, and now clung to the edge. Mario walked over, and gazed Bowser in the face. “Uhhh...Mario, Buddy,” Bowser smiled nervously. “We’re buddies! Remember? The tennis games we had? The fight against Smithy? Remember?” Before Mario could reply, he saw an image flash before his eyes. Two boys, one sixteen, the other seventeen. And before them stood an enormous demon. And from behind them, he saw a burst of fire, and a blinding flash. It was the end. The end of existence. Mario heard in the back of his mind the sudden scream of his allies. “WHAT IS THAT!?” Falco roared “Mario! Are you alright? Snap out of it!” Link called. still holding the villain in his palm . “MARIO! PLEASE MARIO! COME BACK TO US!!” Peach rang But it was too late, for the mysterious blue portal consumed them all, including Gannondorf and Bowser. The portal closed, and the battle field was now deserted. Tenchi’s eyes flashed open. He came to his feet and gazed around him. It was the afternoon now. The sun had began to set, casting a glorious reflection across the lake below. “Wow. I must have fallen asleep,” Tenchi muttered quietly. He heard off in the distance someone calling his name... “TENCHI! OH TENCHI! PLEASE COME BACK!” It was the voice of sweet little Sasami. Her voice sounded hard and rasped. The poor thing... “Don’t worry Sasami!” Tenchi called back. “I’m up here at the top of the hill!” Tenchi jogged towards the bottom of the hill, slipping on some occasional loose gravel. He meet Samami halfway. The poor girl’s blue hair had been all ruffled. She was sweating quite a bit, and appeared very tired. She must have been looking for him for a while. “Oh Tenchi! You had us all so worried! Miss Ryoko and Ayeka have been crying non-stop when they weren’t looking for you. Well...Miss Ryoko also helped herself to the Sake...but that was it! Where have you been?” “...I’ve been asleep at the top of the hill.” “...The whole time?” “Um...yeah,” Tenchi replied, stupefied by how the girls could miss looking in such an obvious and close by area. “...Figures. They’re always closer than you figure them to be,” Sasami muttered. She sighed quietly, then her typical smile crossed her face. “Well, in either case, I’m glad I found you. I made a big dinner for you and everyone!” “Gee Sasami,” Tenchi chuckled “I wish you wouldn’t do so much work on our account. But still...thanks alot. I’m looking forward to dinner now!” Sasami smiled, and grabbed Tenchi by the wrist. She pulled the young man down the hill. It was obvious the girl had a crush on Tenchi. Most of the female inhabitants of the household did in some way. Tenchi was flattered, but personally, he wasn’t interested. Age was the obvious factor, but on top of that, anything having to do with Ayeka or Ryoko just didn’t spark Tenchi’s love interest very much. And seeing as how Sasami was related to Ayeka, it would just make things more complicated. The duo came through the brush and into the clearing before the Masaki residence. Ryo-Ohki, the adorable little Cabbit, noticed Tenchi out of the corner of her eye, and bounded over to him. “MEEEEEEOOOOW!!” Ryo-Ohki cried happily. “Hey Ryo-Ohki,” Tenchi laughed as he caught the beast in his arms. “I’m happy to see you too.” “HEY EVERYONE! I FOUND TENCHI! HE WAS SLEEPING AT THE SUMMIT OF THE HILL!” Instantly, the whole residence swarmed out and surrounded Tenchi. “Oh Lord Tenchi! You had us all so worried,” Ayeka whimpered “Tenchi my love! Don’t scare us like that!” said Ryoko “YOUR LOVE!?” “THAT’S RIGHT! WE ESTABLISHED THAT TENCHI IS MINE!” Ryoko informed. “OH NO YOU DON’T YOU OLD HAG!!” “STUCK UP BRAT!!” “Umm...ladies,” Kiyone interrupted, “And I use the term LOOSELY...Maybe rather than listening to you bicker over him like some last piece of meat, Tenchi would like to enjoy a quiet dinner and relax. Might that be possible?” Ryoko and Ayeka grew silent. The two blinked in unison, absolutely stunned. Kiyone sighed and continued with a smile, “Welcome back Tenchi. Glad you could make it.” “Thanks Kiyone,” Tenchi chirped with a smile. “KIYOOONE!” Mihoshi yelled from across the field. As usual, she was making a late entrance. “Oh god,” Kiyone muttered, slapping her hand across her face. “This oughta be good,” Washu cracked. “Kiyone! I found Tenchi! He was resting in the bushes near the house! But he doesn’t look so good! I think we ought to get him to a hospital real quick!” “Umm...Mihoshi...I’m right here,” Tenchi pointed out. “Shhhh...not now Tenchi, this is important! Tenchi is sick! He’s really thin and pale and his hair is green!” The group just sat there, confused by the idiocy of Mihoshi. A sweat drop slid down Kiyone’s head. “...I don’t think that’s Tenchi.” Kiyone pointed “Look, I brought him with me Kiyone,” Mihoshi continued. She pulled the figure off the ground behind her. “See!? See!? He looks awful!” “Mihoshi...” Kiyone began. “Yeah Kiyone?” “That’s a rake. That thing you use to pick up leaves.” “...Really?” Mihoshi replied. “Yes. Really.” “Oh. OH HI TENCHI!” Mihoshi yelled happily to Tenchi, who was standing three feet away. The whole gang did a typical anime pratfall. “MIHOSHI YOU BUBBLE HEADED MORON!” Kiyone roared, smacking Mihoshi over the head. “WE’RE NEVER GOING TO GET A PROMOTION IF YOU...” “Hey guys,” Tenchi interrupted. “What do you make of that?” A pair of blue streaks came flashing through the air. Both flew faster than any of the group could really see, and both crashed into the Masaki residence. Mr. Masaki yelled with horror “OH GOD! MY HOUSE!” “Hmmm...” Washu pondered. She held a trinket in her hand. “According to my analysis,” she continued. “Those were both organic life forms. They both were concealed in something, so I doubt that either were hurt from the crash. But, it appears they were going...” “OH GOD!! MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE!!” “Dad! Please! Hold on a second!’ Tenchi roared. Washu sighed and continued, “It appears they were going at a speed not capable by any living thing. Even at the speed they would be pushed through the atmosphere. My guess is some outside force helped them. But what could make them go so fast?” Tenchi and Washu looked up and discovered the rest of the group heading towards the inside of the house. “HEY! THAT’S RUDE YA KNOW!” Washu yelled. Tenchi and Washu hurried along to catch up with the group. Right in the center of their living room, two smoldering spots dotted the floor. Tenchi gazed at the spots, then took a step back, awe struck. The first was a boy, about sixteen, with blonde hair, slightly overweight, and wearing a backwards baseball cap. A pair of odd looking metal gauntlets were at his left side. To his right, was an odd creature. It stood look a human, but it had the face and feathers, of a bird. It’s feathers were completely blue, and it had a gun holstered to it’s side. “Wow...” Washu whispered. “Quick! Sasami! Fetch me the first aid kit!” Ayeka ordered, “They don’t appear to injured, but we have to see what could be wrong!” “Right sis!” Sasami replied, shooting up the stairs. Tenchi gazed over the two bodies. “I have a feeling they won’t be the last...” he muttered to himself. Oof’s eyes flashed open. He wasn’t sure where he was. His head hurt far too much. Oof looked over to his side and was even more surprised to see his large broad sword, The Big Oof, sitting right next to him. “Funny, I don’t remember grabbing that,” He wondered. Oof stood up and bent down to grab the blade. He slung it over his shoulder, and walked out of what was apparently an alley. As he emerged onto the street, he had to shield his eyes. Not from any natural bright light, but from the sudden burst of neon that flooded his vision. As Oof’s eyes adjusted, he could see clearly what was generating the light. Signs. Not only signs, but signs in Japanese. Or what Oof assumed was Japanese. He saw numerous people walk by, giving him a curious look. He heard two ladies nearby, and decided to ask them for some assistance, hopping they would speak English. Of course, this was the first question Oof asked. “Umm...excuse me ladies. Do either of you speak English?” “Why yes.” “Where am I exactly?” He questioned the woman. She looked at him with a puzzled look, and then replied sharply, “You are in Tokyo, of course.” “Okay. That’s what I thought. Thanks for your help.” As Oof began to walk away, he heard the two ladies speaking, “He must be one of them American druggies.” “Yes, it would make sense. They’re all incompetent over there.” “HEY!” Oof roared, “I am not a druggie! And not all Americans are incompetent!” The two women jumped back in shock. “YOU CAN SPEAK JAPANESE?!” “...Nooo...You were speaking English.” “No we weren’t.” Something was not right. Why would they claim to be speaking Japanese if they really weren’t? It was almost as if... “It were a dubbed anime...” It dawned on him. Some how, Oof had found himself in an anime. And from the way the people looked, he could almost recognize the art style... “I’m in Tenchi Muyo. Great.” Oof growled. Not that Oof didn’t like Tenchi Muyo. It was one of his favorite animes and mangas. But he didn’t have the time right now to be wandering around in some cartoon. With mean women, and bright signs, and Mario... “...Repeat that last one,” With mean women, and bright signs, and Mario... “...Mario?” Oof echoed. Oof looked to his right, and in the near by alley, Oof saw Mario asleep, slumped against the wall of the building. “WOAH!” Oof cried with joy. “MARIO!! COOL!” Oof hurried over to the plumber, hoping he wasn’t dead. Mario’s eyes flashed open. It took him a moment to focus, but he could see a boy with black hair and hazel green eyes towering over him. “AGGGHHHH!!” “AGGGHHHH!!” The boy replied. Mario panted quickly, then put his fists into the air. “Look-a here kiddo. I-a don’t want to-a fight, but if you do...” “HEY! Woah! No. I don‘t want to fight you.” “Than what’s with-a the sword?” “It’s my weapon,” the boy replied. “Gotta fight evil somehow. But I’m not after you Mario. You’re one of my heroes!” “Do I-a know you?” Mario asked. “Probably not,” the boy replied. “But my name is Oof. I am one of your biggest fans!” “Oof? What kind of-a name is Oof?” “Long story,” Oof replied. “Anyway, you don’t know how big of a pleasure this is for me. Are you okay?” “I’m-a okay,” Mario replied with a groan. “Just a little-a stiff.” “What happened to you?” “I was fighting the Master Hand with-a Link and were attacked by-a Bowser and Gannondorf and...” “WAIT! Link’s with you too!? OH COOL!” “...Do you-a mind?” “Sorry. Please continue.” “When I had this weird vision and I ended up here with you. How about you Oof?” “That sounds a lot like my story.” “Wait, I-a recognize you from-a somewhere,” Mario pondered. “HEY! You were-a in my dream!” he roared at Oof. “Really? You were in my vision too!” “Well, looks-a like we’re-a gonna be working together.” “Yep. Nice to meet ya Mario!” Mario couldn’t help but smile. This kid was pretty cool. And he was nice to boot. “Same here. Hey, how do you-a know me anyway?” “From all your games.” “...Games?” The odd signs confused Al. It was bad enough trying to find his way around a city where he could actually READ what the signs said. It didn’t help he was a foot and half tall either. Surprisingly, he had found his croquet mallet next to him when he woke up. And he was fortunate enough to find his box of Cuban cigars too. He was just about set. Now he had to find Oof. Wonderful. But the only thing he found, was trouble. “ROAAAAAARRR!!” “AHH!! It’s some sort of monster!” a man yelled “It’s a demon that will eat us all!” a woman screamed. A literal mob of people swarmed past Al, and Al could see who was causing the commotion. His jaw hung low, and his cigar popped out of his mouth. “...You gotta be shittin’ me.” Al saw in the distance Bowser Koopa, holding some innocent man in his clutches. “WHERE’S MARIO!?” Bowser roared. “I don’t know a Mario!” the man said with panic in his voice. Al sighed, and marched over to Bowser. He tapped the overgrown turtle on the foot with his croquet mallet. “Huh?” “Excuse me,” Al muttered in his high pitched voice. “But I think that man doesn’t like that.” “...?” Bowser looked absolutely stunned. “Maybe you oughta let him go.” “...BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! SOME KINDA JOKE!? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN’ ME!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!” Al flustered red with rage. That wasn’t the first time someone underestimated him. That really pissed Al off. With all his strength, Al lifted the croquet mallet into the air. He lowered it a little and aimed it at Bowser’s stomach. Then...WAP! Al brought the magical croquet mallet forward, forcing blood out of Bowser’s mouth. With a tiny groan, sent him to the ground. But Al knew Bowser wasn’t out. With all the games of Smash Bros. Melee he’d played against Oof and the rest, he would have figured that one out. Bowser crawled back to his feet slowly. “Oooo...” the monster groaned. “Now listen here,” Al growled, shoving the croquet mallet in Bowser’s face. “It’s obvious we’re both a bit lost and confused here. So rather then fightin’ ya, we’d probably do a hell of a lot better as buddies. Now, you’re gonna cooperate, or you get to play croquet with me. Understand?” “You got it, little buddy,” Bowser grunted, still in pain. “I like the way you work. What’s your name?” “It’s Al.” “Nice to meet ya. I guess...” “Same here Bowser.” “You know my name?” Bowser questioned. “Long story. Come on. Somethin’ tells me we want to head that way.” Al said, pointing his croquet mallet towards the east. It had been a full day, and Kirby hadn’t left the young lady’s side since he saw her last night. She was kind of pretty. Red flowing hair, glasses, nice complexion. About the only thing off about her, was the large scythe off to her right. Kirby had found her underneath the bridge of a highway, and decided to stay there with her. She might be as lost as he was, he decided. And it was always better to be lost with a friend, then by yourself. He learned that with Rick the Hamster and Gooey. He had fetched her some apples and water for when she got up. And seeing from the way she began to stir, that wouldn’t be long. The girl suddenly shot up, grabbed her scythe, and jabbed it in Kirby’s face. “GET BACK!!” “WAGGGH!” Kirby cried in horror. The pink ball jumped behind a rock. He peaked his head over it just enough to see the girl. She had dazzling hazel green eyes, which were right now dashing from left to right. “I’m sorry,” Kirby whimpered. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just looking out for you.” The girl recognized the character. “Kirby...?” “Yeah! That’s me! I’m Kirby!” ^_^ Kirby thought about the situation for a moment. “...You know me, but I don’t know you.” “My name is Heather,” the girl replied. “And I MUST be lost. You’re supposed to be a video game character.” “A what?” Kirby seemed puzzled. “Never mind. You really watched out for me the whole night?” “Yeah! And I got you some apples and some water! In case you might be thirsty.” Heather brushed back her hair and smiled at the innocent little puffball. “Thanks Kirby,” she beamed. “No problem. Now eat up! I saw two blue falling lights! They could be Warp Stars!” “Warp what?” Heather seemed puzzled. (She’s not a video game fanatic, just an anime one.) “Never mind. Come on! Let’s go!” “Hold on!” Heather grabbed a sip of water and a few apples for the road and followed Kirby along towards the east. Alex had been following the highway for quite some time. By instinct, he had decided to take a turn that made him go east. From there he took an unpaved road, and was now heading towards the countryside. It seemed there was a large house in the distance. Excellent, he thought. Maybe then I can some help. Ironically, Alex was about to give help, not receive it. “HELP! HELP! SOMETHING IS HOLDING ME DOWN!!” Alex looked out towards a large lake. There struggling to swim, was a fairly attractive blonde woman, whom he could almost swear was... “Peach?” “HELP! PLEASE HEL...gurrrgle...” Peach’s head sub-merged. Alex took no time to hesitate. He throw of his shirt and jumped in. He swam to where Peach was struggling to get to the surface. Alex could see the problem. A piece of her jewelry was caught on a submerged log. It was stuck. Alex had no time to pull it apart. He drew from his front pocket one of his Magic cards (yes, miraculously, the cards do not get wet.) He brought forth a home made card which contained a mighty sea serpent, whom he had dubbed the Leviathan. The card began to shine a blue aura, and the beast emerged from the card. He pointed to Peach, and with his hands signaled for it to bring her to the surface. The beast complied. At first, Peach was terrified to see this thing rushing at her. But as it raised her out of the water, she felt relieved. Alex climbed onto the monsters back. “Are you alright Peach?” “Why yes, thank you good...” There was a moment of silence, as Peach gazed into Alex’s blue eyes. He had a smile on his face that seemed so sweet and inviting. She shook her head of these thoughts. “Thank you good sir,” She continued. “How do you know my name?” “Ummm...you reputation precedes you,” Alex fibbed. “My name is Alex. Are you alright?” “Yes, I’m fine now.” Alex lifted her to her feet. His palm felt warm, and was something wonderful to touch. The Leviathan carried the two to shore, where Alex warped it back into the card. “Come now princess. We can go to that house over there. You can dry off, and I can get us some help.” “Okay, that seems like a fine plan,” Peach smiled. The two began to walk towards the house. Alex couldn’t place his finger on it, but something about it just seemed familiar. Gannondorf was not in a good mood. He had met up with this walking fur rug and his talking bird yesterday in the city. He tried to fight it, but it was far taller and stronger than he, so he gave in. They became allies, and he had followed it all the way east and eventually into a forest. They had been going through the woods for some time, and was sure they were lost. “Do you have even the slightest clue where you are going?!” Gannondorf burst into rage suddenly. “Rge be nack graaa shnat!” King Oof, which was the beast’s name, roared back. “King Oof has said,” began his translator, Snow Bird, “That if you would stop ‘bitching’ and keep quiet, he could concentrate and then could find his way to the light he saw.” “Ridiculous,” Gannondorf growled “We’re not even following any sort of logical directioning. We are going on a mere hunch! I can’t believe I, an evil genius, am to be damned to being lost in this...” “REAXH NRF TA GROWWLL!! ROAAAAARR!!” King Oof yelled, followed by a roar. Snow Bird whispered to King Oof, than turned to Gannondorf and said, “King Oof has said...” “I truely do not care!” Gannondorf yelled at the dove. “Well, I was only trying to help,” Snow Bird muttered. Suddenly, two boys burst through the forest. One was unknown to Gannondorf, but the other... “LINK!” “GANNONDORF! FOUL DEMON!!” Link withdrew his blade. But the boy next to Link smiled. “King Oof!” “Nashannth!” King Oof attempted to say. King Oof ran towards the boy. They hugged as if old friends, and the began to talk. “Are you alright King Oof? It is very hot here.” “Ha ha ha! Reash na perb cha Nashannnth.” Snow Bird translated, “He says he is fine Nashant, and has been in worse weather. It is good to see you again, Master Nashant.” “Same to you Snow Bird. Um, Link. If I may ask, what are you doing?” Link’s jaw was open. As was Gannondorf’s. There two allies, were allies with each others enemy. How painfully ironic. “OH! Right!” Nashant remembered the Ocarina of Time game. “You two aren’t friends! I remember now!” The two arch-rivals hung their heads and sighed. “Well, I’m sorry, but the four of us are going to have to get along for a little longer. But don’t worry. We’re almost there.” “How do you know Nashant?” Link questioned. “I see a house over yonder,” Nashant replied, sheathing his Katana. “I imagine that is our destination.” George, Roy, and Mike, were quite tired of walking. It was very hot, and they were very, very thirsty. Roy looked over towards George. “A...ay mon,” George asked Roy nervously. “What ya starin’ at me for?” Roy licked his lips. The juice inside was so tempting. “So...sweet....” Mike shoved his foot in Roy’s face. It didn’t hurt much, but Mike wasn’t trying to injure, just stop. “George is a pal, heh heh heh.” Mike growled, throwing in his usual (and occasional) psychotic laugh. “You ain’t gonna touch him.” “Fine. How much further until we reach the house?” “Not much longer.” Mike replied. “Good mon, I don’t know how much longer I con deal with pyro boy ova here. Seeing as how he plans ta eat me.” “...Shut up you,” Roy threatened “Ya overripe moron,” George shot back. “Fruit salad topping.” “Nimrod,” “Idiot,” “BOYS!” Mike yelled “Don’t make me turn this car around. Heh heh heh.” Suddenly, from behind them... “MIKE! ROY! GEORGE!” The trio turned to see Oof and Mario running up the driveway. “OOF!” Mike and George screamed with joy. “Mario!” Roy yelled. The three ran together and got acquainted. Unaware that many of their friends were near by, and two were already indoors... “How do you pronounce this again, Lord Jay? Meta-Lica?” Ayeka asked, examining the logo on Jay’s hat. “No,” Jay chuckled “It’s Metallica. It’s a band. From America.” Jay could not get over the fact he was speaking with some of his favorite anime characters and sitting next to one of the coolest game heroes. He didn’t want to have to explain where he came from. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to. “That’s so cool!” Sasami jumped in “I’ve never been to America! What’s it like?” “Well, it’s a great place. but it’s really not too much different than Japan. Or at least, from what I’ve seen so far.” Falco just stared at the trio talking, looking quite confused. He had gotten to know Jay a little after they had both woken up, and then all these women had stormed in. It all seemed so confusing. “Pardon me Jay,” Falco asked “Would you mind telling me what the hell an ‘America’ is exactly?” Jay looked confused, then chuckled. That’s right, he thought. Falco’s never even heard of the planet earth. “America is a continent on this planet we’re on. It’s my home planet.” Well, not exactly mine, Jay thought. “Okay, thanks for clearing that up,” Falco grinned. “Are you alright Lord Falco,” Ayeka asked, “Perhaps another spot of tea?” “No thanks,” Falco replied, “I’ve taken too much of your time as it is. I gotta go find my friends and get home.” “I can come with,” Jay offered “No thanks, this is somethin’ I have to do alone.” “You may not have to,” Washu said, gazing out the window. “Looks like we got A LOT of really weird visitors.” The doorbell rang. Tenchi opened the door. “Yes may I...AUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!” Tenchi cried out in horror. The short man in his dream, the boy in his dream, the girl in his dream, a yeti, a tall evil looking man, a pineapple, a woman in pink, and may other characters were meeting his gaze at the entrance (Well, the yeti was too tall normally, but it was looking down.) Alex perked up “OH NOW I RECOGNIZE THIS HOUSE!” He said, slapping his fore head, “THIS IS THE MASAKI RESIDENCE FROM TENCHI MUYO!” After reviving Tenchi, the groups assembled inside, happy to be reunited (Even Bowser and Gannondorf were happy to see the others). Afterwards, Oof and the gang explained what happened to them. Then, Mario told the tale of what happened to him and the other Smash Bros. Characters. Washu nodded. “That makes sense now,” Washu mumbled, “Now it explains how Jay and Falco, and probably the rest of you, were launched so fast into our world. The portal did that. But now, we have two problems. A few of you are exact to descriptions given by Tenchi about the things in his visions...” Ayeka and Ryoko glared angrily at Heather. Heather shot back a nervous smile. “And secondly, now that you’re here, we have to get you all back to where you belong, and fast.” “Why?” Kirby asked innocently. “Because, if any of you are to stay to long, it will upset the space and time continuum.” “I thought that’s just if you traveled through time and touched something.” Al said, puffing on a cigar. “Reality is a bit more delicate than that. If anything upsets a certain reality it doesn’t belong to for so long, the dimension will collapse in on itself and explode. It‘s similar to how after a while, bacteria will create a cold if it sits in the body for too long and isn’t removed. ” George sat still, blinking. “Mon, dat’s gotta suck.” “Yes. Plus, if you’re here, that means something wrong is going to happen. Or at least according to Oof, Tenchi’s, and Mario’s visions.” “Fine,” Oof concurred. “Anyway of getting us home?” “I am in the process of making a Dimension Hopper. But it’s still in the beta testing stages. Until it’s finished, you’re all stuck here.” “How much longer Washu?” Tenchi asked. “I’ll speed up the production process. But I can’t guarantee anything. Just hang tight. Until then, just relax. You can bunk in with us.” “That’s right,” Tenchi agreed with a smile. “It’s going to be a tight fit, but you’re all welcome to stay here.” “Thanks a-lot Tenchi!” Mario smiled. “Yes! Much obliged!” Oof agreed. Tenchi looked off to the corner. “I still got a bad feeling about this...” Yumashinto stood outside the Masaki residence, hovering in the air. A smile crept across his face, even though he had no mouth. “Soon, very soon, it will all be done. And death, and chaos, will remain forever.” And with a gust of the wind, the demon vanished... To be Continued...