Legalise crap:  I don’t own Tenchi Muyo (pioneer does), or Warhammer
(Games-Workshop does), or the world for that matter(the evil top-secret
Kaplakestanese government does), but I have always wondered why nobody ever
made a Tenchi Muyo-Warhammer 40k crossover fanfiction.  so, here goes my
first attempt at a fic........

(As all Tenchi Muyo fics start off with)

     It was a typical day in the Masaki household.  Tenchi was at school,
Mihoshi was playing video games, Ryoko and Aeka were beating the living snot
out of each other, and Washu was in her lab working on yet another
transdimensional gateway (ever notice how all the crossover fics start with
Washu making a transdimensional gateway?)  Late that evening, when Tenchi
FINALLY got home, he was greeted with the daily routine of Ryoko teleporting
next/above/around him and gloming him, followed shortly by,

“Get your hands off him, you ugly wench!”  from Aeka.

“what did you just call me?”

“I called you an ugly wench.”

Tenchi did the usual ‘duck and cover’ routine into the house shortly
before
explosions were heard outside along with the occassional 'OW!' or 'You’ll
pay
for that!'  Tenchi didn’t really feel like listening to the battle raging
outside, so he sat down on the couch(next to a snoring Mihoshi) and turned
the playstation off, and then started to watch TV.  He had been watching it
for about 5 minutes when all of a sudden, a bright red light came in through
the window and engulfed the TV with a loud ‘BOOM!’(not even this could
wake
up Mihoshi, though)  when the dust settled, all that was left was half a TV
frame, bits of glass embedded in various places in the walls, and a lot
cleaning up to do.  He started pouting about how he is ever going to afford
new stuff if it gets destroyed within a week, when Washu burst out of her
laboratory and announced,

“ I have made a new transdimensional gateway!”(betcha didn’t see that
one
coming, did ya? :)

     After the house was finally cleaned up from today’s skirmish,
everyone(except Noboyuki, who I just don’t like, and Katsuhito, who was
busy
up at the shrine) went to Washu's lab.  Washu announced,
“I have made a new Transdimentional Gateway!”

Ryoko muttered, “Great, another one?”  but she apparently forgot about
her
psychic link with Washu, and was shortly(pun intended) a small, blue,
duck-billed water sprite, quacking and running all over the lab.  Washu
continued,

“As I was saying, before I was so rudely intterupted(gets some unprintable
words sent to her from Ryoko via the psychic link) I have created a new
Transdimensional Gateway, or TDG for short.  My new version of the TDG can
send us whereever we want to go to."

 before she can say anything else, Mihoshi(like the ditz she is) blurts out,
“I want to go to a universe where valiant heroes are fighting against evil
aliens, powerful gods, and  maniacal traitors!”

The TDG starts whirring and beeping, and as Washu starts yelling
“NO! STOP!” while Kiyone is whacking Mihoshi upside the head, everyone
starts to fade away into nothingness. They suddenly reappeared in the middle
of a HUGE battlefield, with hunched-over green-skinned creatures with crude
weapons were shooting at their opponents, which were humans, large, hulking
ogre-type creatures with giant guns, and 7-foot-tall robot-looking things
with what looked like a lasercannon, some large guns which were shooting
explosive ammo, and a leader-type thing with a glowing energy sword and some
sort of hand flamethrower.  Aeka quickly put up her shield, just in time to
deflect one of the green-skins’ “rokkits” from hitting smack dab in
the
middle of their group.  everyone quickly moved along with Aeka over to where
the humans were, and Tenchi asked one of the people who looked like they
were
in charge,

“Excuse me, could you tell me where we are?  we seem to have been
teleported
here accidentally.”

The relatively ancient-looking man stood up and, flicking his fingers a bit,
brought his power claw to bear.

the leader replied in a gruff and commanding tone, “When you talk to me,
you
will refer to me as Lord Commissar Yarrick, or Sir.  Who are you?  I saw you
just appear out of thin air, right in the middle of the battlefield!  If you
are one of the Bloodthirsty minions of Khorne, then prepare to taste my
wrath!”

Quickly, Ryoko,(who had somewhere along the line reverted back to normal)
hovered in between the man named Yarrick and Tenchi.  “I don’t know who
you
think you are, but nobody talks to my Tenchi that way, and NOBODY threatens
him while I’m around!”

“what is this?  This woman can FLY?!  She must be a demon!”

“huh?  Demon?  Where?”  Ryoko started to look around her.  She was
suddenly
knocked unconcious by the force of the blow from Yarricks’ power claw.
Tenchi brought out Tenchi-ken, and the energy blade slowly grew upwards
until
it was at least 4 feet long.

“More trickery!”  “Huh?  No, not trickery, I am just preparing to
fight you
for hurting my freind!”

“you’re freinds with this demon-woman?”

“Demon-woman?  She’s no demon-woman, she’s a Ryoan!”  “Ryoan?
I’ve never
heard of them.  Follow me into my bunker and maybe we could discuss about
these “Ryoans” some more.  But first, would you mind helping me defeat
the
Ork scum?  You seem strong, and my men are having a problem getting rid of
them.  they are pretty damn resilient for such stupid creatures.”

“Orks?  I thought they were just creatures of myth.”  Washu wondered out
loud.

“No, they are quite real, and they are the biggest threat to the Imperium,
besides the forces of Chaos and the Tyranid hordes.  They are very
simple-minded, but always attack in large numbers, usually with many
dreadnoughts and a few gargants with them.”

(Ryoko wakes up with a fist-sized lump on her head.) “OWWWW, that really
hurt!”

Just then, the ground started shaking as a huge explosion was heard outside.
“That would signal that the forces of the Adeptus Titanicus are here.  You
may not need to help after all.” said Yarrick.

“Adeptus Titanicus?”  Washu asked.

“yes, possibly the most powerful machine-beasts in the universe, aside
from
the Imperial space armada.  With that, Yarrick led them outside, to witness
a
300-foot-tall man-like machine with huge weapons attached to it, land in a
huge cloud of dust and dirt as it’s retro-jets stabilized it on the
ground.
“THAT;” stated Yarrick, “Is a Warlord Titan, The largest and most
powerful
titan of them all.”  everyone in the group was awestruck as the
God-Machine,
as the troops called it, opened fire on one of the enemy embankments,
utterly
annihilating them.  Loud cheering and yelling was heard along the whole
Imperial side, as the Orks made a hasty retreat.

    Later, as Yarrick was talking with Washu about who they were, and
especially about Ryoko, the rest of the group were allowed to roam the
encampment, and to meet the troops.  as they walked past one tent, someone
yanked Ryoko inside and said, “Hey sweet thing, how ‘bout you and me
make a
little love instead of war?  There aren't many girls around here, and most
of
the ones that are here are pretty ugly or surly, or both.”  Needless to
say,
that particular Imperial Guardsman will never have children.  EVER.

Ryoko quickly left the tent, as extremely high-pitched screams of pain were
heard throughout the camp, along with hoots and jeers at the “manliness
impaired” soldier as he fell unconcious.  Soon, they approached what
looked
to be a massive shrine to a god.  There were two of those robed robot-like
creatures standing guard outside, as praying could be faintly heard inside.

Tenchi walked up and asked, “May I ask who you are?”

One of the figures responded, “I am Brother Beltharius, of the Dark Angels
Space Marine Chapter.  This is my companion, Brother Exor.  Have you all
come
to pay homage to the mighty God-Emperor?”

“Who?” asked Tenchi.  At this, the space marines were taken aghast.

“You do not know who the Emperor is?  The almighty saviour of humanity and
hero of a million worlds?”
“No, who exactly is he?”  The space marines seemed insulted by the last
comment.

    Brother Exor, who had been itching for a fight all day, suddenly stood
up
to his full height, threw off his ceremonial robes, and stated, “You will
not
mock the Emperor’s name!  I challenge you to a duel.  If you best me in
combat, I will allow you inside to partake of the prayer to His Holiness.
If
you do not, I will be forced to execute you for desecrating His
Excellency’s
name!”  Everyone in the group were horrified by the last sentence.  How
could
Tenchi possibly win against such a large and menacing creature?

“To make it a little fairer for you, I will remove my power armor, at
least
to make it more sporting for me, although it probably won't make much of a
difference.”  everyone scowled at the comment.

Tenchi grimly drew Tenchi-ken and prepared to start the duel.

To be continued.  Will Tenchi beat Brother Exor, or will he feel the
crushing
weight of defeat(and the space marine's boot) fall upon him?  Remember ,
this
is my first fanfiction, so don’t flame me.
send all comments to:  pepper4099@aol.com