---------------------------------------------------------------- I don't own any of the characters in this fic. Tenchi is owned by Pioneer and Dr. Who is owned by the BBC (If anybody knows if these companys actually don't have the total rights to these characters please tell me so I can correct this). I'm not doing this for money or for any other reason other than really to have some fun with this little fic. Feel free to distribute it, just don't charge any money for it. A word of warning this is my first fic. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Washuu, Who? Chapter 1: Washuu wants to kill who? by the Silver Chocobo a tenchi muyo/dr who crossover. The Doctor twisted a dial on the controls of the Tardis, a small change in the noise coming from all around signalled that the course had been changed. He stood back and marveled at his own ingenuity for a moment before glancing over at his small robotic companion. "So tell me K-9, can you guess where we're going next?" "Insufficient data to make approximation. Master." The Doctor's grin faded for a moment but then was back in full force as he turned back to the controls, making more adjustments for no reason other than to have something to do. "We're going to Earth, China, around about 2057 to be exact. There's someone I want to check up on." He pressed a button and the Tardis's gauges began to slow as they neared the correct coordinates in space time. "I haven't seen him in 600 years and I think its about time I dropped in, don't you think so K-9?" "Affirmative. Master." The Doctor turned away from the console and went to get his hat, coat, and scarf off of the coat rack conveniently placed only a few steps away from him. While he was reaching for his scarf when suddenly he was thrown off his feet as the Tardis shook violently. "Any ideas what might be causing this K-9?" He began working to attempt to stabilize the Tardis. He checked every subsystem he could think of, but none of them showed any problems. He turned his attention to K-9 who was now extending his sensor dish in an attempt to diagnose the problem. "No fault with normal Tardis hardware found, Master. However, calculations incorrect for space/time coordinates you specified. Actual destination coordinates are 59467x801068x82109x50087251." "59467x801068x82109x50097251?" The Doctor's face went through a variety of expressions in a matter of seconds. "There shouldn't be any problems caused by materializing there." His attention was suddenly drawn to a small device on the console which was sending off sparks. "K-9, I thought you said that it wasn't a problem with the ships hardware?" "This component is not part of normal Tardis specifications. It appears to be a makeshift materialization inhibitor." "A materialization inhibitor? Ah yes I installed it years ago... Now I wonder why I would do a thing like that?" He paused for a moment in contemplation when his thinking was interuppted by another sudden shaking. The doctor pulled himself up to the console again, he reached towards the small device hooked into the console. "Recommend removal of materialization inhibitor circuit. Master." The Doctor turned his attention from his project briefly to glare at K-9, but then he was distracted from this by another violent shaking. He reached up and pulled the circuit out of the console, wires snapping as he ripped it free. The shaking quickly stopped. Leaving the Tardis running smoothly, but leaving every thing inside that wasn't tied down in a mess. "Well, I guess we're stopping here so we can clean everything up." Said the Doctor still collapsed against the console with the materialization inhibitor circuit in hand. "Affirmative, Master." Responded K-9 weakly, his head against the floor and his wheels in the air. *** *** *** Washuu sat on her floating red cushion staring out over the part of her lab visible from the terrace next to the subspace door leading into the Masaki house. She noticed some motion on the screen in front of her, but she was rewarded not with any new piece of information, but only with the crab in her screen-saver scuttling by for the three-thousand seven-hundred and fifty-third time. She sighed and began to wonder why nothing exciting ever happened anymore. She turned briefly towards the door, reaching out with her motherly sixth sense. If she could lure Ryoko into the lab that would be good for some laughs. She waited fifteen minutes staring at the door trying to get any response from the outside. Then frustrated she turned back to her holo-terminal. A small blue indicator was now blinking in the right corner of its screen. "Now what's this? A minor flux in space/time near the shrine? All right! Finally something to do!" She began typing rapidly, bringing the whole of her sensor capability onto the small area of the disturbance. "This is odd, its not a typical hyper drive. The source of the worm hole isn't just from a distant point in space, but also from a different point in time. The amount of power required to do that would be incredible!" She paused for a moment, and then brought up another program. It sorted through every possible ship that might even have the slightest chance of producing a worm hole such as this one. Within three milliseconds it had reached its conclusion. Washuu read the results silently. her mind not being able to accept what she saw. "Ship is a Gallifreyan TARDIS, Type 30" Her mind raced, remembering the last time she had seen a ship like this. "It couldn't be... after all, what self respecting Timelord would still be using a outdated ship like that. It must be a mistake in the program." She whispered to herself, trying to deny what the computer was reporting. Then on the screen appeared the stone platform of the shrine. Out of nowhere a bright white light began flashing, a pale blue image slowly phasing in to exsistance below it. Within ten seconds the light had stopped. Leaving a tall blue box that hardly looked large enough for even one person to stand inside. More information began to flash up on her screen. The data flowing in from databanks all over the universe as every system with any information on this particular TARDIS was downloaded in a matter of seconds. "Gallifreyan TARDIS Type 30, Serial Number GT30281251. Reported stolen from Gallifreyan Museum of Time. Suspected to be in the possession of the renegade timelord known only as the Doctor..." She stopped reading the information on the screen aloud as the meaning of the words sunk in. Memories she had tried to forget flashed back before her eyes as her mouth curled into a murderous grin. She closed her eyes and swore under her breath. "That... I can't believe that.... I'll get back at him." She jumped off of her cushion, her body passing through the holo-terminal which abruptly evaporated. A large mennacing silver gun appeared in her hands, a low hum coming from it as the lights on the side of it slowly changed from a dull red, to a bright green. "I'll KILL THAT OLD BASTARD!" *** *** *** Tenchi sat on the couch in a futile attempt to watch TV. On his right side was Aeka, and on his left side was Ryoko. At the moment they seemed to be in some sort of contest to see which one of them could sit the closest to him without drawing the attention of the other. He had ignored their actions as best he could. At the moment at least things were relatively peaceful. No one had appeared to abduct any of the girls for at least 2 months, and in that time he had managed to avoid nearly every one of the almost routine fights between Ryoko and Aeka. He knew though that his peaceful exsistance would cease in a few minutes. Ryoko would quickly tire of this game that she and Aeka seemed to be playing and she would wrap her arms around him, like she was now. Then Aeka would stand up, just like she was now. She would let her anger boil for a minute and then she would scold Ryoko for making unwanted advances on her Tenchi-Sama. Tenchi sighed and turned his attention away from the girl who he knew would explode with righteous anger any second now, and attempted to watch just a little more of the TV show he had been watching before this whole mess had started. It was a rather odd show. The heroine ( a bat wielding girl in a leather jacket) was attempting to save the world from armor plated robot aliens of some sort. Truthfully they looked more like trashcans than alien monsters bent on taking over the world, but he had seen stranger things (like alien robots who look like logs). It was quite comical as the odd things rolled down the hallway chasing after the girl with the bat screaming "EXTERMINATE!" in a strange scratchy high pitched voice. Suddenly she pulled out a bazooka, which she fired at the alien, blowing it to bits. Sending pieces of trashcan and green Jello all over the the floor of the building they were in. Tenchi sighed to himself as he noticed Aeka's face was turning an odd shade of purple as she attempted to accumulate enough energy in her scolding to destroy her foe. She never got the chance to use it though. The door to Washuu's lab opened and she walked out with a large silver object. It hummed menacingly, the cold green lights shining from the side of it were unnervingly bright. It was almost instantly apparent to all that this was some new weapon she had cooked up. "Um... Washuu, what are you going to do with that...uh..." He asked nervously. Knowing that there was no response from Washuu that he really wanted to hear. "Oh, you mean this little thing?" She turned pointing the barrel of the gun right at Tenchi for a moment before lowering it and posing with the gun, a large smile plastered across her face. "This is my number one greatest invention in the last five minutes! The Dirty Old Man Annihilator Ray Mark Seven!" She opened her eyes to be greeted with only the feet of the people who were sitting there moments before. "And I know just the guinea pig to try it out on." Knowing that no one in the room would be capable of any intelligent thought for at least the next five minutes she turned and walked calmly out the door. The room was unnervingly calm for the next several minutes as Washuu skipped down the path with the DOMARM7. Tenchi was the first to recover from the Washuu induced stupor. His mind worked briefly on what she had just said, his mind eventually reached the only possible conclusion. "Wait Washuu! Don't kill Grandpa!" He ran out the door down the path after the petite scientist. Ryoko stayed on the floor a for a minute. Her arms were still closed in the circle, but now they were only wrapped around air. She wondered for a minute how Tenchi could've possibly escaped. Then giving up trying to explain it to herself, she teleported out of the room, leaving Aeka alone to scream at the couch when she came to. *** *** *** The Doctor lifted himself off of the console. He walked over to where K-9 was and tipped over and turned him back onto his wheels. Then he turned his attention to the small monitor in the far wall of the TARDIS. On the screen appeared a grey platform made of stone. On it sat two small oriental buildings, and in the background great blue mountains could be seen in the distance. "Now lets see, the coordinates were 59467x801068x82109x5009721. That puts us in..." "Earth, Japan, 2001. Master." Chirped the small robotic dog before he could finish. The Doctor glared at K-9 for a moment. He never could figure out how a little metal dog with practically no moving parts could appear to be so smug at having beaten him to the answer again. "As I was about to say before I was interrupted. We're on Earth in Japan at the dawn of the age of the colonization of space." "First permanent human space colony not established for another 25 years. Master." The Doctor ignored the dog this time, turning his attention to the small piece of metal in his hand. "Now why do you suppose I installed a materialization inhibitor on the Tardis?" He asked not expecting a response. He turned it over in his hands, noticing some letters on one side. "XWAM-MISS... xwam miss? Now what do you suppose that means?" "Unknown acronym. Master." "Shall we go out and have a look around K-9?" "Affirmative. Master." Called the little robot as he scooted out the door ahead of the Doctor. The Doctor followed after him, stepping out into the cool spring air. To his right were the two oriental buildings he had seen on the monitor. On his left was a path of stone steps leading down away from the buildings. He was having the strongest sense of deja-vu about this place. He just couldn't place it for some reason. "Can you find any people with your sensors K-9?" He asked his companion. The small metal dogs ears began moving from side to side. "Affirmative. Master. Seven humanoid life-forms detected. More information unavailable due to large amounts of energy, and large number of inconsistencies in space/time in this area." The Doctor looked puzzled for a moment at this statement. "Thats impossible! Earth doesn't develop the technology necessary to create inconsistencies in space/time for at least another fifteen years!" K-9 suddenly turned from his position standing perpendicular to the buildings, towards the path leading to the platform. His eyes began to glow red and his nose laser extended. "Warning! Humanoid approaching. Large amounts of energy detected. Energy consistent with power supplies used in high caliber laser canon." "What? A high caliber laser weapon on Earth now?" *** *** *** Washuu was now practically running up the steps to the shrine. Her red hair shaking from side to side as she dashed up the steps as fast as she could run. Anyone seeing her would have found it very strange for a little girl her age to be able to run so fast carrying such a large object. Without warning Ryoko appeared in the air directly ahead of her, blocking her path to the shrine. Washuu was forced to stop in her tracks. "Why did you interrupt me and Tenchi! Killing Yosho isn't that important you know!" Ryoko yelled down at her, red energy gathering in her hand as she prepared to draw her sword. "Besides I still need him to cancel Tenchi's engagement to Aeka and Mihoshi!" Her sword appearing in her hand its blade pointed right at Washuu. "What on earth gave you the idea I'm going to kill Yosho?" Washuu asked calmly. She was somewhat amused by her daughters actions. "Who else would you use as a guinea pig for your old pervert blaster or whatever the hell its called?" Washuu stared at Ryoko for a minute and then dissapeared, reappearing right behind Ryoko, continuing on her way up the steps. Ryoko stood there for a moment, confused. Then she noticed Tenchi running up the steps. She teleported down to him. "Come on Tenchi! I'll get us up there in no time!" She grabbed his hand and they both disappeared." *** *** *** "Now K-9 we don't want to be rude do we? Not every person carrying around a high caliber laser cannon is a dangerous psychopath bent on destroying me!" The little robotic dog retracted his laser. "Apologies. Master." Said K-9, his eyes red glow dimming. Just then Washuu appeared at the top of the steps. "THERE YOU ARE! DON'T MOVE!" She pulled the DOMARM7 up to her eyes lining the sights up perfectly on the mans head. She began to pull the trigger, preparing to rejoice after this man was little more than atoms. Just as she pulled the trigger Ryoko and Tenchi appeared right next to it. Tenchi lost his balance and stumbled into the barrel of the gun, knocking the blast off target. Sending the brilliant beam of death harmlessly into the side of a nearby mountain. "Wait a minute, why did I try that from this far away? I need to be closer!" She pushed Ryoko out of the way and jumped over Tenchi, who was now stunned on the ground and ran towards the oddly dressed man, who now seemed to be discussing something over with the small metal box next to him. When she was within five feet of him she stopped leveling the gun at him. The lights on the side glowing a faint orange as the gun recharged. "Excuse me miss, why are you pointing that rather nasty looking laser cannon at me?" Washuu was annoyed by the overly cheerful tone with which he regarded his impending doom. She sighed, willing herself into her adult body. The lights on the side now a dull yellow. "K-9, I've just realized what XWAM-MISS stands for..." "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SON!" Screamed Washuu at the top of her lungs. "It stands for eX-Wife Avoidance Mechanism-Materialization Inhibitor Safety System." He whispered to himself. The lights had changed to green, Washuu's finger moving back to the trigger. "Hello Washuu. Would you like a jelly baby?" He said, reaching into his coat and producing the small white bag of candy. Washuu, totally unprepared for being offered a small piece of candy by her husband, perhaps her most hated enemy, took the only rational course of action... She fainted. "I'll take that as a no." -------------------------------------------------------- If you liked this fic, then I have to question your sanity. How this crossover makes any sense is beyond me. The idea came to me while chatting with the Beige Chocobo while watching Dr Who on Iowa Public Television late one Friday night. When my disseased mind made some strange leap of reasoning and came up with this insane idea (don't worry, I'm taking medication now). At the moment I'm not sure where this should go, which is why I cut it off when I did. It just seemed the best place to stop, since here there really isn't anything introduced that I have to explain, well actually there is, so I probably will end up writing more of this. If you didn't like this however know that the Beige Chocobo is completely to blame for prodding me to write this. So if you want someone to track down and inflict horrible bodily harm to after reading this fic, please go after him. I'm thinking of getting some webspace to host this fic on. If Beige and I get working on the RK-Ranma crossover collaboration then its likely to be posted on that site. When its up I'll add the URL to this and repost it. If you think this fic is wierd you should see our ICQ logs (Ranma is Kenshin, Kenshin is Kenshin, Kenshin is Ranma, Ranma is Ranma, Ranma is Tomoe it gets confusing fast). In case anyone is in doubt, the Doctor here is #4 Tom Baker, and K-9 is the coolest of the Doctors companions (being a robotic scottish terrier). send C&C to silverchocobo@usa.net. Send flames to /dev/null.