Time Passing By, Paradox Part 3 {More from TV World} Tenchi: {rather concerned as he watches Emily's bizarre behavior} Has she gotten into Ryoko's hidden stash of saki? Billy: No, Emily hates the taste of alcohol. This..... This, I am very sorry to say, is an M & M induced high. Very tragic, but it happens. Tenchi: What can we do ? Billy: We have to get the bag away from her. Time is of the essence! But, we must be very careful, lest we scare the beast. {A fistfull of M & M's hit him.} Billy: See what I mean? Just the slightest inkling, and she attacks! ****************************************************************************** ******** Billy: That's it! I am sick and tired of being used as a doormat for plot points! Why, I don't even recognize "me" anymore! I was created as a scientific genius, not some half-baked, sex obsessed, shrink! Ariel: Well, with MacGyver and Washu being here, we really didn't need another super genius in the fold, so...... I'm afraid that you just got the short end of the stick. Don't worry though, your just going through a "transition in characterization" mode. It will end after our author decides what your new identity/modus operandi will be. Billy: But, I have *never* been consistently characterized! Our characters have been altered to fit into what ever alternate existence she can dream up. Messed with, so we can interact with her various favorite characters from soaps, movies, or comics. I'm tired of that bullhocky! That's it! I'm through! I'm not participating in this storyline anymore, I'm getting the hell out of Kalaki before things get any worse. Emily: {scoffs to Ariel} Yeah right! His righteous indignation is getting a little old. Then there is the little fact that..... There is no way he can leave here, he seems to be forgetting that. People can come to Kalaki, but they can never, ever, leave. Various characters: {All whom have recently arrived, from other worlds and realities} What?!?!? Ariel: {tries to calm them down} Don't worry Kalaki will grow on you. After awhile..... Well, it's better, if you forget you former way of life. Just think of Kalaki as a different kind of ....Fantasy Island. Why, you can consider me "Mrs. Rourke." {The various characters stare at her in horror.} Ariel: Just kidding! You can leave whenever you want to. Only original creations can be imprisoned here. ****************************************************************************** ******** Pietro: How could you, Phillip?! How could you betray our friendship and name your poor, unfortunate newborn son after that.....that.........man! {Pan from Pietro over to a rather hurt looking Alan.} Phillip: Uh....I just met you. So, I don't see how it's any of your business. Besides, Alan's sins don't even hold a candle to your father's sins. Pietro: Yes, well.... ****************************************************************************** ******** Emily: Billy talk to her! She can't keep Anakin here. It isn't right. Billy: {Rolls eyes} Why should I? She's finally acting "in" character for once. Unlike the rest of us. Emily: {frowns} That's a matter of opinion. Billy: {sighs} Look, it's perfectly normal for her to be an overprotective mother hen. Magneto: But you're manipulating him, Ariel. Just like Moira and Charles did with me, after being reduced back to infancy by Mutant Alpha. Ariel: Are you saying that you don't think that you would have been better off? Had a better life? Magneto: Now that you mention it...... Ariel: That is all that I want to do for Anakin, give him the potential for a bright and happy future. Luke Skywalker: Wait a minute, I'm all for his being happy and healthy. But..... wouldn't that mean that Leia and I were never born? Ariel: Oh, ....forgot about that. Billy: {To Luke Skywalker} Welcome to Paradox. Here's hoping you survive the experience. Or perhaps, more apropos, that our author *lets* you survive it. ****************************************************************************** ******* Alan: I'm afraid that this vacation of ours hasn't turned out as I planned. Perhaps it would have been best to have gone to Bali? India: Actually, I adore it here. For once in a long while, we're actually getting scenes together. Alan: Yes, having the "in" track with the author, definitively does seem to improve our stance. To bad it doesn't extend to the outside world. ****************************************************************************** ******** {Gourry and Lina are laying on lawn chairs, wolfing down popcorn as they gaze upon the various shaningans occurring.} Gourry: Lina, is it just me, or doesn't this remind you of one of our episodes? Lina: Now that you mention it. It does, kinda. Gourry: Why, some of these people, are even more scary than you are. Lina: HEY?!? {Brings her elbow down hard on his head.} Gourry: Or maybe...not. Lina: For the last time, Gourry. And I *mean* it!! I_am_not_abomindable!!!! What **will** it take for people to believe that?!? Gourry: For you not to.... {Noticing the rage in her eyes, he realizes that he should just let it drop if he wants to survive to see nightfall.} Ariel: Now, now. You two young lovebirds shouldn't fight. {Both turn to look at her stunned.} Gourry: Nani?!? {1} She's not.....I'm not.......I don't... Lina: Look, what the blathering idiot here is trying to say is.....I'm afraid you have your facts mixed up. Ariel: Oh, do I? Auntie Aqua didn't think so. Lina: {Blushes} How do you know her? Ariel: That's a secret. Lina: Arrgh!! The last thing I need to deal with is another Xellos! Emelkia Lance! {The lance turns into lilac petals a short distance before reaching Ariel.} Lina: Nani?! You're a sorceress too?! Ariel: In a roundabout way, yes. But ultimately, I'm a High Priestess for the Demon-Goddess, Cherakahn. {Amelia, also from the Slayers tv series pops up} Amelia: So in other words..... You're a monster. Just like Xellos! Ariel: Uh.....no. Lina: Oh geez, where did *she* come from. I thought we finally "lost" her. Gourry: I thought you had warmed up to her, Lina. Amelia: {to Ariel} Liar! I see through your thin lies. And as the champion of Truth and Justice, I will see that you meet the fate you so richly deserve! Lina: {To Gourry} I did somewhat. I admired her persistance. If not her clutziness and naivete. I just don't have any use for a protégé. Billy: {To Gourry and Lina} Don't worry. She won't be around for much longer. Not if Ariel has anything to say about it. Gourry: No kidding, she looks mighty PO'ed. Amelia: {To Ariel} I will make you regret your evil ways! {As they speak a blue aura steams off of Ariel. She sizes up Amelia with a glance. Then with a wave of her hands Amelia disappears, and in her place is a cute little fluffball with floppy ears, whiskers, and a cottontail.} Gourry: Huh? Where did she go?!? Lina: Baka! {2} Right in front of your eyes, dimbulb. That "creature" right there is Amelia. Ariel: Correct. Gourry: What did you do to her?! What is that thing?! It looks like a cat!? Lina: Actually, I think she looks like a rabbit ...... Gourry: Cat! Lina: Rabbit!! Ariel: {Sighs} You're both right. She's a cabbit. Ryo-ohki's been a little lonely here. I thought she could use a friend. Now back to what I was saying earlier... Billy: You mean you actually had a purpose?! Ariel: {sighs} What are you still doing here? I thought you were searching for an escape route to get away from this crazy reality. That you were on strike from this fan fiction. Billy: I'm on a break Ariel: Isn't it a little early for one? Never mind, it doesn't matter. I think that I'll give you a helping hand on your quest for the proverbial EXIT. {snaps her fingers} Billy: IAEIIIIIIIIIIII!!! {Gets thrown hundreds of yards into a bronze statue of Cherakahn} Gourry: {winces in sympathy}That had to hurt! ****************************************************************************** ***** Emily: You OK? Billy: Oh, now I'm supposed to believe that you care?! Emily: I've always cared. It's just.... I don't want to deal with "reality" right now. So perhaps, I'm perfectly fine living in this little comedic farce attempt. For now. Sometimes, you just need to laugh....to hold the demons at bay. {Looks away, eyes glistening.} Billy: {Softly} Yeah. {Touches her face.} Emily: {Attempts a smile} So, what do you say, we go give Washu a run for her money? Invention wise, I mean. Billy: You mean me, don't you? Emily: Yeah, it's about time you got back to what you were good at. Billy: {With a sly half-grin.} With pleasure, milady. {Kisses her hand.} Oh, Washu......{heads off looking for Washu.} Ariel: So, peace at last? Emily: For now.......at least here. I'm just tired of the fighting. Disclaimer: With the exception of Billy Hayes, Sandstorm (Emily Hayes), Shaw Gardner, and Ariel, none of the rest of the characters belong to me. They belong to their respective creators, whomever they may be. This little fan fiction is meant as pure, harmless fun and no profit is being made from it. Time Passing By, Paradox part 4 (Author's note: Original has captured stills of the contestants in this chapter) Will be included in next email.