Disclaimer: With the exception of Billy Hayes, Sandstorm (Emily Hayes), Shaw Gardner, and Ariel, none of the rest of the characters belong to me. They belong to their respective creators, whomever they may be. This little fan fiction is meant as pure, harmless fun and no profit is being made from it. Time Passing By, Paradox Part 2 (More absurdity from TV World) Disclaimer: With the exception of Billy Hayes, Sandstorm (Emily Hayes), Shaw Gardner, and Ariel, none of the rest of the characters belong to me. They belong to their respective creators, whomever they may be. This little fan fiction is meant as pure, harmless fun and no profit is being made from it. Beth: Well, after I dumped Rick for Phillip, it turned out that Phillip's "relationship" with Mindy resulted in a pregnancy. At the time she was involved with Rick. So I met, and fell in love with Lujack, who ended up being Phillip's long lost cousin. After he died, I got back together with Phillip, until I disappeared and was presumed dead. I came back when he was still married to Blake. He promptly dumped her and got back together with me. When Phillip was falsely accused of murdering Neil, he faked his death with Rick's help. Rick: Really "bright" move on my part. Beth: The three of us were sentenced to community service out of town, because our respective actors were leaving the show. Phillip and I, subsequently, started having marital problems off screen. After we separated, he got involved with Harley Cooper. I came back, ready to continue the relationship, only to discover that it was too late. During this time I slept with his uncle, Ben. Harley: As for me..... Well let's see, I was married to Alan-Michael, Phillip's half-brother by adoption, who is now married to my half-sister, Lucy. But before that, Alan-Michael was obsessed with my sister-in-law, Eleni. That was back when he was "The Dark Prince". {Billy looks at the various Guiding Light characters assembled in front of him.} Billy: It's INCESTUOUS!!! Emily: This coming from someone who is rather obsessed with X-rated fan fiction. How hypocritical is that? Blake: {to Harley} What's wrong with him? He doesn't even know the half of it yet. Including either, my sleeping with and/or marrying Phillip's, my first ex's, brother, father, and uncles. ****************************************************************************** ******** {Gourry, Lina, Washu, Tenchi, Ryoko are all gathered near the moat that Godzilla emerged from.} Gourry: Lina, why didn't you use the Dragon Slave spell on him? Lina: On Godzilla! Don't you know who he is?! Besides, have you forgotten how destructive that spell is? Do you want them running us out of here?! Gourry: Well I still think you should have. Why should we let some big lizard bully us? Lina: (Ignoring Gourry) That water doesn't look very deep. How is it possible for a 300 foot reptile to live in it? Washu: Simple. There is an inter dimensional portal leading to another world. Possibly to an all aquatic one. Though I feel that we should test this theory. Ryoko? Ryoko: Yes? {Washu shoves Ryoko into the moat.} ****************************************************************************** ******** {Elsewhere.} Emily: (thinking) He looks rather familiar. Where have I seen him before? Billy: I know you, don't I? You were on Days of Our Lives? Your character was involved with Calliope. Mystery Man: (Glares incessantly at Billy.) Emily: Billy, I don't think that he's..... Billy: Man you were a riot! A real clown. Emily: (Thinking) His name is..... John,......... John de Lancie. Now what else has he been in besides Days of Our Lives?? Billy: Eugene Bradford! That was your name! Mystery Man: Was? {looking as if he wants to rip Billy's entrails out}. Billy: Man, you were sooooooo hilarious! Emily: (Still thinking) Dave's World?.........no that's not it........ Touched by an Angel?........ no...... Gen 13?..... No, no............All wrong, think girl, what role was he most famous for??? {The "Mystery Man" grabs Billy by the jugular.} Mystery Man: You ignorant sop, you have no idea who I am do you?!? Very well, given your idiocy, I shall grant you some mercy. {He slams Billy against a brick wall, then down to the floor, from there to the ceiling and back again. Until our poor, unfortunate "hero" is as flat as the proverbial pancake.} Billy: This was supposed to be "mercy"?!? Emily: {Eye's brighten at the realization} Oh, that's right, "Q". That's who he is, Q from Star Trek! Billy: I thought she, you-know-who, never watched the Star Trek television series? Emily: Well yes, for the most part. But a few other former daytime actors appeared on the show, so...... Billy: Wonderful! So I got squashed by an omnipotent being, just because our author watched an episode or two of Star Trek: The Next Generation?!? What a way to advance the plot! Razzum, Frassum. Emily: It's your own fault, really. You treated him as if he were the actor himself, not one of John's character's. This *is* "TV World" after all. Billy: To the moon, Em. To the *moon*! Emily: William, I would suggest that you don't quit your day job just yet. That was a *lousy* impression of Jackie Gleason. Billy: William?!? My dad was *William*! You know better than to call me that! Emily: Then what *should* I call you then? Billy is a child's nickname. Billy: Grrrrrrrr Emily: You know, I just looovvee it when those little veins stick out on your forehead. Q: I'm *still* here! Emily: Oh, sorry. I completely forgot. I suggest that you leave Q, before I ask Ariel to come over here. The author of this little escapade named her Kali originally for a reason. Trust me on this. Q: Kali? Not the Hindu Goddess I presume, but someone else entirely? I think that we have already had the pleasure. Emily and Billy in unison: Huh?!? Ariel: Now what on earth have you two been up to?! Oh, hello Q. How have things been going lately? Billy: You know him?? Ariel: Yes, of course I do. What a silly question. Whom do you think invited him? Now, Billy, please be a dear and get yourself scraped off the floor before someone trips on you. {Ariel and Q head off into........... well, the sunset...... Yeah that will do, for now anyways. } Q: So you're calling yourself Ariel now? Ariel: Yes, well a few people were confusing me with **the** Kali, so I felt it prudent to change my name. Billy: Dear Lord, she knows **everyone**, doesn't she? Emily: Definitively appears that way. Billy: Come on, help me get up. Emily: Are you sure? You have never looked thinner. Billy: Oh, touché. Me thinks you are still a little sore over Magnus choosing Rogue over you. Emily: That hussy! What does she have, that I don't? Billy: Well.........um.......... Honestly, I must admit, I can see why he chose her. Emily: You, you........ How dare you! We're family! Family is supposed to stick together! {Emily stomps off, leaving Billy prostrate on the floor.} Billy: {thinking} Note to self: Do not piss off the only person who can return you to normal. That is, *before* they return you to normal. Afterwards, said person is fair game.