Disclaimer: Here we go again folks! Tenchi Muyo is the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC. James Bond and his movies are the property of United Artists. Please don't sue me! I'm just trying to have a good time! Anyway, I'd like to thank Cav for proofing this fic. Thanks Cav. The Princess Who Loved Me Princess Ayeka ran out of the house and down to the lake, tears streaming down her face as she cried. She stopped at the shore of the lake and fell to her knees. She had been so close. So close! She was going to tell Tenchi how she felt about him, how she *really* felt, but once again she had hesitated just long enough for Ryoko to come in and ruin it! Why couldn't she just *say it*?! Why did she have to choke every single time?! It would always start out the same. She would work up the nerve to say it, go to Tenchi, and prepare to confess her heart to him. Then, the weight of Jurai would smash down onto her shoulders at lightspeed. The fact that she was a princess, the fact that a princess must behave in a certain way, a princess would *never* just blurt something like that out. This would cause her to hesitate, and Ryoko would be right there to pounce when she did. Ayeka looked up at the stars, her fingers wandered to her headband, the symbol of Jurain power. With a cry of fury and frustration, she tore the headband from her head and hurled it to the ground. She buried her face in her hands as she wept, and wished that she were anybody else in the universe but the Princess of Jurai. It was as the clock in the living room was hitting 3:59 PM that Tenchi came barrelling inside the house at the speed of sound. "One side! Outta the way!" He ran through the kitchen and into the living room. Sasami was standing between him and the couch, holding the remote. She saw Tenchi on a collision course with her and screached. She crouched down, at the same time, throwing the remote into the air. Tenchi leaped up, dived over the blue haired princess, caught the remote in midflight, and landed on the couch in a graceful move worthy of Ryoko. He aimed the remote at the TV and turned it on, searching for the channel his friend in school had told him about. By this time, everyone else in the house had come to the living room to find out what was going on. Kiyone, the most recent addition to the household, came in, followed a second later by Nobuyuki. "Hey, boy, where's the fire!?" Nobuyuki asked him. "You could've hurt som..." Tenchi turned to him as he flipped through the channels. "THE TRAILER FOR 'THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH' IS COMING ON IN THIRTY SECONDS!" That was all Nobuyuki needed to hear. He shoved Kiyone out of the way and made for the couch. "Get the hell out of my way!" He cried as he placed himself on the couch next to Tenchi. Kiyone fell to the ground with cry. The rest of the group watched in amazement. Their love for James Bond movies was one of the only things Nobuyuki and his son had in common anymore, and he never missed a chance to make good on it. They watched the thirty second commercial for the new movie come on. When Ryoko tried to ask what was going on, the two men shushed her and continued to watch. When it was over, they were blinking in shock. "I have *got* to see this movie," Tenchi said. Nobuyuki nodded in agreement. They looked at each other and cried out at the exact same moment. "ADVANCED TICKETS!" The two Masaki's ran for the phones and began calling theatres, trying to order advanced tickets to opening night. The girls watched this in amazement. At one point, Nobuyuki shook his head and said, "There are none, no more tickets," At which point Tenchi grabbed his father by the front of the shirt and slapped him across the face. "Stow that line of defeatist crap!" he cried. "There are still theatres to check!" Sasami watched Tenchi and his father scurry around the house and giggled. Ayeka was standing next to her, lost in her own thoughts. "Isn't it funny how Tenchi turns into a different person whenever James Bond is involved?" Ayeka blinked and looked down at Sasami, her eyes wide. "What did you say?" she whispered. Sasami looked up at her older sister curiously. "I said, 'isn't it funny how Tenchi turns into a different person everytime James Bond is involved?'" Ayeka clapped her hands and hugged her sister in glee. "THAT'S IT! Thank you, Sasami!" With that, Ayeka ran out the door. Sasami stood there and blinked in puzzlement. "Um...your welcome?" Nobuyuki was sitting at the kitchen table a few hours later when Ayeka came in and approached. "Mr. Masaki?" Nobuyuki looked up and blinked at her. "Ms. Ayeka, is something wrong?" "No, Mr. Masaki." She steeled herself and sat down across from him. "I've come to you....because I need your help." "Well...sure, Ms. Ayeka, anything I can do to help." From the look on her face, Nobuyuki was sure she was going to say she was dying or something. "I need a ride to the video store." Nobuyuki blinked. "That's it?" Ayeka looked down at the table top. "Well...I have no Japanese money. I was wondering if I could borrow some money to rent a few movies." "Movies?" Ayeka nodded. "I will, of course, repay you as soon as I can. It's just that I don't think they would take Jurain credits." "Ms. Ayeka, are you sure you're okay?" "I also require your expertise." "*My* expertise? As an architect?" Ayeka shook her head. "As a James Bond fan." Ten hours and four movies later, Nobuyuki shut the TV off. It was four o'clock in the morning. The rest of the household had gone to sleep. Except for Ayeka and Nobuyuki, who had met downstairs and begun what Nobuyuki had called, "a crash course in Bondage." "Now, then," Nobuyuki began. Ayeka was sitting ramrod straight on the couch, desperately trying to stay awake. "Pop quiz. Bond is being stalked by a beautiful assassin intent on killing him. She finally corners him in his hotel room. What does he do?" "Overpowers her," Ayeka said. "Then?" "Seduces her," she added. "But before that..." "Makes a stupid pun." Nobuyuki smiled. "Ms. Ayeka, I think you're ready." Ayeka smiled weakly. "I do have one request." Ayeka blinked as Nobuyuki continued. "Can I be in it? Please?!" Ayeka had confessed the plan to Tenchi's father while they were in the car. Not only did he approve of it, but he wanted to be directly involved. She smiled. "I'm sure something can be arranged. Thank you so much for your assistance, Mr. Masaki." "Have you decided what kind of part you want to play?" Ayeka gave it a few moments thought. "I rather like the idea of dealing with him on equal footing, and I liked the character in 'The Spy Who Loved Me,' so I guess I'll do that." Nobuyuki smiled. "Agent Triple X, huh?" Ayeka nodded. "Now, all I have to do is convince Washu to help me." "No!" Ayeka sighed. It was going worse than she had thought. "But why, Little Washu?" Ayeka asked, remembering to use the "Little" in front of the petite scientist's name. "I know what you're up to," Washu told the princess in the privacy of the dimensional lab. "You think this will let you get Tenchi all to yourself long enough for you to seduce him, and since it all happens in the mind, anyway, there wouldn't be any proof of it." Washu glared at her. "And if you think I'm gonna betray Ryoko like that, you are very, *very* wrong!" Ayeka took a breath. She hadn't wanted to do this, but it was time to bring out the big guns. "I'll tell Tenchi everything about his birthday." Washu tensed visibly. "All of it." Washu gritted her teeth. "You promised, Ayeka." The princess ignored her. "I'll tell him how you kidnapped us all in the middle of the night, drugged us, plugged us into your machine, and used us like puppets for *his* amusement. How do you think he'll react to that, *Ms.* Washu?" Washu continued to glare at her. Ayeka pressed her advantage. "You're just like the rest of us," she told the scientist, "And because of that I know that you can't bear the thought of Tenchi actively *hating* you, of feeling betrayed by you. Well, you know what? That is exactly how he'll feel when I tell him. To know that *he* used us like that, even without knowing, will break his heart, and he *will* blame *you*." Washu stared at her for a hard minute. "You wouldn't dare," "Try me." The scientist thought for a moment, then sighed in defeat. "What did you have in mind?" Ayeka entered the kitchen after dinner, ready to implement the last part of her plan, asking Tenchi. Nobuyuki, who was turning out to be an exemplary partner in crime, had offered to take Sasami, Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Ryoko out for ice cream. This left the chore of doing the dishes to Tenchi, who took on the task happily. Sasami did so much around the house, she deserved a treat like ice cream. Ayeka had declined the offer to go with them, telling them she wanted to do some reading. The second they were gone, she had gone back downstairs to the kitchen, where Tenchi was washing the dinner plates. She bit her lip in thought. If she was going to do it, it would have to be now. She'd never get another chance like this. She straightened and entered the kitchen, whistling a tune she knew for a fact Tenchi would find familiar. Sure enough, he looked up and smiled. "Oh, Ms. Ayeka." "Would you like some help, Tenchi?" she asked. "Uh..sure." Ayeka took a wet plate from him and began drying it. As she did, she began to whistle the same tune again. This time, along with smiling, Tenchi joined in. They looked at each other and began to sputter, no longer able to hold in the laughter. "Where did you learn that?" Tenchi asked her. "'Dr. Yes...I mean...*No!* Dr. No,'" she told him, without missing a beat. Tenchi blinked. "When did you see that?" She shrugged. "Not long ago. After your birthday, I found I had acquired a taste for it." Tenchi stared at her in shock. Ayeka sighed. "I even watched 'From Jurai With Love' again. It looked like so much fun. I wish I could've been there." Tenchi gulped, remembering Washu's birthday present to him and the part an Ayeka simulation played in it. At least that was how *he* remembered it. Ayeka noticed him pause and pushed it to the next level. "Going to far off, exotic places. Battling evil villains bent on world domination. Visiting luxurious casinos and hotels..." she sighed again. She saw the wistful look in Tenchi's eye. Now was the time. "Tenchi, I was wondering...would you...would you..." Dammit! Now wasn't the time to choke. "Ayeka, I have an idea," Tenchi said, cutting her off. Ayeka looked at him and blinked. "Let's ask Washu to let us do another adventure. You and I. We can go in and save the world together this weekend or something. It'll be great." Ayeka was ecstatic. She felt like crying, she was so happy. She managed to contain herself and nodded. "Tenchi, I think I'd like that." Washu was willing to help them, but she seemed somewhat hesitant. Still, Tenchi found that she was all set for them on the prearranged date. It was kept secret. Tenchi didn't want Ryoko to get the wrong idea. He lay on the bio bed in Washu's lab as the scientist attached electronic diodes to his head. Tenchi was excited about this. He had dreamed of going back into the dreamworld Washu had created for his birthday, and now he was. And this time, he could even share it with someone. He looked over and saw Ayeka already asleep. He smiled up at Washu. "Thanks, Washu," he said. Washu forced a smile. "Don't mention it, Tenchi. Oh, one more thing," she said. This time, her smile seemed more genuine. "There's a little detail you have to remember in order to stay in character this time." "Okay. What is it?" He listened as Washu briefed him on... that one, little detail that would let him remain in character. Tenchi nodded. "Got it. Anything else?" Washu smiled. "That's it. Pleasant dreams, Tenchi." Tenchi closed his eyes and fell asleep. Washu frowned. Damn Ayeka. She might have Washu by the neck now, but she wasn't going to make it easy for the princess. You could count on that. She just needed two more people. Nobuyuki was already waiting, all she needed now was one more person. There was a knock and the sound of the crab bell as her door opened. Kiyone entered and smiled. "You needed to see me, Washu?" Washu picked up the tranquilizer gun off the workbench and turned. "Yes, Kiyone, I did indeed." Tenchi woke up in a bathrobe. He was standing in a kitchen with a bottle of Bollinger in one hand and a glass in another. It took a moment for him to come back to reality, or the Washu equivalent thereof. He smiled. "Well, it's not a Siberian mountaintop, but..." "Tenchi?" He turned at the sound of the unfamiliar, female voice and found a drop-dead gorgeous redhead standing at the door of the kitchen wearing what appeared to be one of *his* shirts, and little else. "Come back to bed." Tenchi gulped and checked his nose. He heard Washu in his mind. Tenchi sighed in relief. "Er..." It took Tenchi a moment to get into character. "Be along in a moment, darling." The redhead smiled and left the room. >Washu,< he began. There was a knock at the door. Tenchi tied the robe and went to answer it. Opening the door he found a slightly older woman standing there who entered the house as if she owned it. "You know, Tenchi, ignoring your cel phone just costs me a trip from the office. M is absolutely furious." "What about, Moneypenny?" She gave him a look of disgust. "If you ever bothered to turn on the news instead of cavorting with everything in a skirt, you might already know. As it is, I don't have time to explain it all to you now. M wants to see you." "I'm afraid you've caught me with company over." Moneypenny rolled her eyes. "Go. I'll talk to your tart for you." Tenchi nodded and started for the door. "Oh, Tenchi," Moneypenny called. Tenchi turned back to her. "Do you think it's wise to go dressed like that?" Tenchi looked down at his bathrobe and blushed. "Quite right, Ms. Moneypenny." He went to the back room to change. Tenchi entered M's office, passing the two guards armed with MP5 submachine guns. He arched an eyebrow at the extra security and entered. He saw the elderly, short-haired woman sitting behind her desk and approached. "Well, Double-oh-Ten, I'm glad you finally decided to join us." "Apologies, M, I was dealing with a red menace of my own." "Hmm. Have a seat, Masaki." "Is it just me, or is there a lot of extra security tonight?" "You'll know why in a moment," she told him. "At oh-six-hundred this morning, the Director of the CIA was found dead in his home. Execution style, one gunshot wound to the back of the head. Three hours later, the head of the Russian FSB was found in an identical state." "Retaliation?" "Doubtful, considering that the leader of MOSSAD was also found executed the day before. Just two hours ago, an attempt was made on C's life." "C? Someone tried to kill the director of Five?" M nodded. "I think I see the need for the extra security." "Quite." She went to a cabinet and produced two glasses. "Bourbon?" "No thanks," M poured herself a glass and turned back. "The Special Branch has interrogated the would be assassin, unfortunately, he died soon after." "What did they get?" "The name of a bar," she sat back down in her chair. "In the Carribean. A little island called Shikei." "Death Penalty," Tenchi translated. "Cute." "Your orders are to find out who has been killing world intelligence leaders and report back. Don't take them on yourself." Tenchi grinned. "Wouldn't dream of it." "You'll be working with the Jurains on this mission as well since they, too, are a target. The agent they're sending is an old acquaintance of yours." She tapped a few keys on ther computer. A woman's image appeared on the screen behind her. Tenchi hissed between his teeth. "They promoted her," he commented dryly. "Yes. She's a Triple agent now." M gave him a stern look. "Keep your eye on the mission, Masaki. I don't want to end up in a coffin because you decide to ignore orders and pursue a private vendetta." She saw the bitter look on his face and added, "Avenging Double-oh-Five will not bring her back." "You didn't kill her," "Neither did you. Eyes on the mission." Tenchi stood up. "Always." M handed him a file folder. "Your tickets. You'll rendevous with her in Miami. All the information you need is there." "Where is she now?" M sat back in her chair. "I am told she's finishing up some minor business over China." Meanwhile... Ayeka sat in front of the man in the white tuxedo and glared at him. Don Carvouhlo sat across from her in a comfortable chair on board the expensive leer jet and stroked the fluffy white cat sitting in his lap. Standing next to him, the tall, dark haired amazon she had heard referred to only as "Meg," grinned. "Well, Triple A, this is where we say goodbye." "You'll forgive me, I hope, if I seem unmoved." Carvouhlo laughed and stood up. Ayeka remained where she was. The gun in Meg's hand was enough to keep her from doing something stupid. She watched as he put on a parachute, then pulled his own gun so that Meg could climb into her own chute. When this was done, Carvouhlo helped his cat into a special pocket on his parachute pack. He smiled at her, then aimed his gun at the cockpit and fired three times. The bullets struck the onboard computer, destroying the auto pilot. The aircraft, flown from the beginning without human pilots, was now out of control. Carvouhlo gave her another smile as Meg opened the outer hatch. "Good day, Major," he said and jumped. Meg followed a second later. Ayeka jumped out of her seat and ran to the hatch. Looking down, she could still see them falling. She looked up at the cockpit. A small fire had just started there. She bit her lip and considered her options. None. She took a few deep breaths and prepared to jump. But couldn't. She walked back a few steps for a running start, but once again stopped at the threshhold. "Dammit, Ayeka! Just jump!" she screamed at herself. She grabbed hold of the edges of the hatch and pulled herself out, screaming all the way. She screamed as she plummetted toward Earth. There was a flash of light and a loud boom from above her as the leer jet exploded. she thought. She saw the two figures of Carvouhlo and Meg below her. She brought her hands to her sides and angled herself so that her head was pointing straight down to cut down air resistance. She started to gain on them. Carvouhlo, in his white tuxedo, was easy to make out. She aimed and glided toward him. The wind howled in her ears, her violet tresses flapped behind her as she flew toward him. She hit him dead on. He gave a sharp grunt and turned his head to face her. She grabbed onto the straps of his parachute and held on tight. Over his shoulder, she could see Meg angling toward them. The brunette pulled her gun and aimed. Ayeka pulled on the harness and managed to maneuver Carvouhlo around so that his body was between her's and the amazon's. Meg fired. Carvouhlo screamed as the bullet tore into him. Ayeka reached around and pulled Carvouhlo's revolver from his belt. Hanging onto the harness with one hand, and aiming the revolver with the other, she fired. Meg screamed and was silent. Ayeka maneuvered around and grabbed the ripcord on Carvouhlo's chute. She gave it a sharp tug and held on tight as the chute opened and jerked her practically to a stop. She looked into Carvouhlo's lifeless eyes and sighed. She landed in a patch of underbrush and got to her feet. She heard a faint, "meow," from Carvouhlo's body and paused. She blinked and reached down. Undoing a special catch on the parachute pack, the white cat stuck its head out of a pocket and meowed at her. She smiled. "Well, come on," she said, picking the cat up. She looked around and found herself standing near a road. A sign written in Chinese letters was nearby. Thanks to Washu's "Wing It" program, she could read it. She looked down at the cat. "Fifteen miles, huh? You know, I know this great restauraunt in Shanghai. Are you hungry?" The cat meowed at her. "Well, let's go." Agent Triple A and her new friend started down the road. Tenchi placed the suitcase on the bed and opened it. Reaching inside, he began to unpack a few necessities of life. He took a look out the window and gazed out at sunny Miami Beach. He could almost hear the beach bunnies giggling as they played volleyball despite the fact that his hotel room was a mile away from the beach and ten stories up. He picked up a battleship gray cigarette case and hmm'd in thought. Opening the case, he removed a cigarette and put it to his lips. He searched his suit pockets and found an engraved, silver lighter. He hit the button and flinched as three feet of flame shot up from lighter. He looked at the lighter and found a selector switch that said, "Min," then, "Max," then "W." The switch was on "W." He moved the switch to "Min," and tried again. He lit the cigarette and took a drag... And nearly threw up. He started hacking, smoke pouring from his mouth and nose. In his mind he heard Washu laughing at him. >How do people do this?!< Before Washu could answer, he heard the doorknob to his hotel room start to turn. Tenchi went to the door and watched the door open slowly. A slender feminine hand reached out, a tiny Makarov pistol gripped in the well manicured fingers. Tenchi looked at the cigarrette and smiled. He reached out and jabbed the lit end against her hand. She screached and dropped the gun. Tenchi grabbed the woman's hand and pulled. He flipped her and tossed her onto the bed. He pulled his Walther PPK from beneath his jacket and aimed. Ayeka looked up at him and froze. "Good morning." Her expression didn't change. "Double-oh-Ten," she greeted him. "Agent Triple A," She sat up and continued to watch him. The PPK didn't waver as Tenchi bent down and picked up the Makarov where Ayeka had dropped it. He held it up. "Do you always begin a new partnership at the end of a gun?" he asked her. "I find it's the safest way," she told him. "Hmm." He removed the magazine from the Makarov and worked the action, ejecting the round in the chamber. He tossed her the gun and held the magazine up. "You can have this back when you learn to be more responsible with it." Ayeka stood up placed the gun back in her purse. "Don't patronize me, Commander Masaki. I'm a trained combat officer. Don't forget that." Tenchi glared at her. "Don't worry. I won't." Ayeka blinked at the harshness of his tone. "Try to remember we're here to do a job. I trust you've been briefed." Ayeka nodded. "Good." Tenchi went to a long case sitting next to his suitcase and opened it. Reaching inside, he removed an odd-looking rifle with a wood finish and a large scope. He showed it to her. "Walther WA2000 sniper rifle. We found it with the man who tried to kill C. The man also gave us the name of a tavern on the island of Shikei. We traced the gun. Turns out that there's an arms dealer on Shikei. Care to guess where he conducts business?" Ayeka said nothing. "I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes." He gave her a once over. She was wearing a simple, blue, business skirt. "Try to dress appropriately." His tone held a touch of contempt. He turned to go. "Tenchi," Ayeka stopped him. He turned to her. "Yes?" She shook her head in confusion. "Tenchi, are you okay? I thought you *wanted* to be here. Have I offended you or something?" Tenchi blinked, then laughed. Ayeka looked at him in puzzlement. "Didn't Washu tell you?" he asked. "Um...no...I guess she forgot." He smiled. "I'm sorry, Ayeka. It's part of the act. You see, in this universe, you, I mean, Agent Triple A, killed one of Double-oh-Ten's lovers." Ayeka's eyes went wide. "So you see, there has to be some friction. We can't go around acting like friends when we're supposed to hate each other." Ayeka felt a knot form in her stomach. "I...I see..." Tenchi cleared his throat and adopted his stern tone again. "Well, I'll see you downstairs." With that, he left. Ayeka growled and thought as loud as she could. >WASHU!< >I can't believe you!< Ayeka growled. >I'm *not* a princess here. And I'm not going to let you ruin this for me!< She reached out into the hall where she left her suitcase and began rummaging through it for something...appropriate. "What'll it be, Sir?" The blonde bartender asked Tenchi. He flashed her a smile. "Sprite," he told her simply. His last experience with a vodka martini had left him soured on the idea of having another. "Is this appropriate, Mr. Masaki?" Tenchi turned to the sound of Ayeka's voice, and his eyes nearly popped out of his skull. She was wearing a purple, one-piece bathing suit with a silk wrap-around tied around her waist. Tenchi searched for something to say, but came up empty. Ayeka didn't wait. If her character was to be Tenchi's enemy, then that's what she was going to do. "Fine. Then I suggest we go. We have an appointment on Shikei." He nodded and turned away from her. Ayeka followed behind him and hoped this tactic would work out. It had worked in "The Spy Who Loved Me," so it was *possible* that Tenchi would open up to her. She certainly hoped so. Nobuyuki lay on the bed as Washu hooked him up to her machine. "Washu, are you okay?" Washu had a worried expression on her face. "Yeah, I'm all right." "You look worried." Washu stared down at him. "Do you know how much Ryoko is going to hate me for this?" she asked him. Nobuyuki smiled. "Don't worry, Little Washu. Ayeka's plan might be a lot of fun, but it has one flaw." Washu blinked. "What's that?" Nobuyuki grinned. "My son would never choose a girl based solely on something like this." She smiled wanly. "Perhaps you're right. Are you ready?" "Yep, plug me in." "See you in your dreams..." Tenchi and Ayeka entered the small island bar and took a look around. It was a dark, seedy place. Not somewhere you'd take a family to, that was for certain. The bar was located right on the beach, and a lot of patrons, such as themselves, had come in motorboats. They took a seat at a corner booth and just observed for awhile. It seemed like a typical barroom scene. A little *too* typical, maybe. A tall, blonde man saw them and made his way over to them. He smiled at Ayeka. "How do you do? Pete Jacobs is the name. I'm the bartender. And you are?" He was looking right at Ayeka. "Ayeka," she told him with a smile. "Ah, and does Ayeka have a last name?" "'Ayeka' is the last name *you're* getting until I know you better." "Heh, well, perhaps I should get you something..." Tenchi held out a twenty. "How about some information?" The man smiled and took the money. "I'm sure you'll get all the info you need." He reached out and pressed a wooden panel on their table. Suddenly, the entire booth began to rotate. Jacobs watched as their booth disappeared into the wall and was replaced by a new one. He whistled as he wiped the new booth down and walked back behind the bar. Tenchi and Ayeka blinked. The bar had suddenly been replaced by a steel-walled room. Their booth looked ridiculously out of place. Two men with revolvers stood there, glaring at them. Ayeka sighed. "One good turn..." she said and smiled. Tenchi threw her a look and couldn't help grinning. He looked up at one of the goons and addressed him. "We're here to see your boss." "We know why you're here, Masaki," the goon told him roughly. Tenchi arched an eyebrow, wondering how the goon knew his name. "Hands on the table." Tenchi and Ayeka obeyed, laying their hands on the table top. One goon came walked up to Tenchi and reached into his jacket, removing the PPK. Then he went to Ayeka. Tenchi braced himself for the eventual explosion. He wasn't disappointed. *THUD!* The goon, his head having made intimate contact with the table top, slid to the floor. "Watch where you put your hands!" Ayeka cried. He got up. "Little bitch!" "That's enough!" a familiar voice called out from behind the goons. Tenchi blinked and looked up. "Dad?!" Nobuyuki Masaki, complete with eyepatch and evil grin stood there. A lit cigar burned between his fingers. "Do I *look* like your daddy, boy?" he asked Tenchi with disdain. "Well...to be perfectly honest, yeah, you do, ." Nobuyuki smiled. "Heh. The name's J.B. Derricks. I run things on Shikei." He took another step towards them. "And I don't like British MI6 agents," he growled, staring at Tenchi. He turned and glared at Ayeka, "Or Jurai Security Bureau agents snooping around my island." Ayeka's eyes narrowed. "How did you..." Derricks grinned. "I know a lot." "You knew we were coming," Tenchi accused him. "You were tipped off. By who?" "Heh." He turned his back to them. "You're right, Double-oh-Ten," Tenchi's eyes went wide. "We have a mutual friend." "I find that hard to believe." "Oh, yes, she told me about you. She's an important client, she is." "A client you sell advanced sniper rifles to..." Derricks shrugged. "Rifles, missiles, gunboats...We're very diverse." He laughed. Ayeka glared. "Our governments know where we are. When we don't report..." "They'll cover up your blatant incompetence and leave you here to die," Derricks finished for her. "It's happened before." "Personal experience?" Tenchi asked. Derricks smiled. "Or so a friend tells me." He turned to the goons. "Moose, Rocko, kill them." The goons pointed their guns at them. Tenchi and Ayeka tensed. "Wait!" The goons looked at Derricks, who said, "This is new carpet. Take 'em outside and do it." They nodded and grabbed Tenchi and Ayeka by the arms, dragging them out the door onto the pier. Tenchi and Ayeka walked side by side down the pier, the goons marching behind them. "Well, any ideas?" Ayeka whispered. "Let's hope Washu's Wing It program is still working." "Hmm," Ayeka commented. Tenchi smiled. "You know," he said loudly, "This is all *your* fault." Ayeka turned on him. "What?! *My* fault!?" "That's right!" Tenchi shouted back. "How is this *my* fault!?" "I can give you *three* reasons!" Tenchi said, and winked at her. Realization flashed across Ayeka's face. She shook it off and gritted her teeth. "Is that so?!" "Yes! It was your idea to come here! *One!*" Ayeka balked. "*My* idea!?" "That's right!" The goons looked to one another in confusion as the argument progressed. Tenchi held up two fingers. "You *insisted* on coming here without back-up! *Two*!" "That was *your* idea!" "Then you had to go and flirt with that bartender!" Tenchi hurled at her. He held up his hand. "*THREE!*" As one, Tenchi and Ayeka whirled around and lashed out at their stunned captors. Tenchi grabbed hold of his target's gun arm and twisted. The goon yelped and dropped his gun. Tenchi pivoted and threw the man off the pier. As he bent down and picked up the man's revolver, he saw Ayeka out of the corner of his eye delivering a snap kick to the other goon's stomach. The goon doubled over in agony. Ayeka followed up with a roundhouse right. The goon fell off the pier and hit the water with a splash. Tenchi turned back to the bar as a bullet hit the wood near his feet. "Get to the boat!" he shouted at Ayeka. He aimed the revolver at the shooter and fired. Back at the tavern's door, a man clutched his face and fell to the ground. More goons were starting toward them. He heard the roar of two outboard motors start behind him and started running down the pier. Ayeka had chosen a powerful looking speedboat. She turned back to him. "Tenchi! Hurry!" He jumped into the back of the speedboat and fired another two shots at the tavern. "Ayeka! Gun it!" Ayeka threw the throttle wide open, and the boat took off. *DING!* "All right!" Washu cried and opened the door to the microwave in her lab. She reached inside and removed a bowl of instant ramen. "I haven't eaten all day." She used chopsticks to shovel some of the ramen into her mouth and turned back to the vid screen where Tenchi and Ayeka had just begun the speedboat chase scene. She frowned at Ayeka's image again. "Whatcha do'in, Washu?" Washu spit up a mouthful of ramen in surprise and turned her head to find Ryoko standing there. She stood up and placed herself in front of the screen to keep Ryoko from seeing what was happening. "Ryoko! Uh..What brings you here?!" Ryoko blinked in puzzlement and tried to peer around Washu to see what she was hiding. "I'm looking for Tenchi," she said. Her eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't happen to know where he is would you?" She craned her head around, trying to peek past Washu's diminuitive frame. Washu shifted her position and reached out with her hand. She tapped a key on her holotop, and the screen went dark. She mentally sighed in relief. "Nope! Haven't seen him!" She laughed nervously. Ryoko wasn't buying it. "What were you watching?" she asked, her voice deadpan. Washu gulped, then came up with an idea. She grinned and said. "Nobuyuki let me borrow something from his collection to pass the time." She saw Ryoko grimace. "Wanna watch?" "Er...no thanks. Well, if you see Tenchi, tell him I'm looking for him, okay?" "Sure thing, Little Ryoko." Ryoko disappeared. Washu took a relieved breath and thanked heaven that she had moved Tenchi, Ayeka, Nobuyuki, and all the equipment to the back of the lab where there was more room and out of sight. She turned and switched the screen back on. A bullet struck the windshield barely a foot from Ayeka. She screached in surprise, but kept the boat steady. Two speedboats were gaining on them. Tenchi pointed the revolver at them and fired three times. One of the goons on the nearest boat cried out and fell overboard. The gun clicked empty. "I'm out!" Tenchi called out. He looked up as Ayeka tossed him a small, automatic pistol. It looked tiny in his hand. A thought occurred to him, and he looked at Ayeka's rather scantily clad form. "Where did you hide this!?" She looked back at him and grinned. "None of your business, *Commander*!" Tenchi turned red and shook his head. He turned back and emptied the gun at the motorboats. He ducked as bullets slammed against their boat. He looked up and saw the right engine smoke. "Shut it down!" he called out. With one engine out, they couldn't outrun them. He searched around the boat and found a fire axe. He was struck by an idea and grabbed the axe from its rack. He made his way back to the damaged engine and slammed the axe into it. "What are you doing!?" Ayeka called back as Tenchi struck the engine again. Fuel began pouring from the damaged engine's gas tank. He turned back to Ayeka. "Circle around them!" he cried. Ayeka nodded, her purple tresses were flapping in the wind behind her. She turned the boat in a hard left. Tenchi watched gas spray from the engine. He went forward and began rooting through the glove compartment until he found what he was looking for, a flare gun. The boat that had been closest to them, slowed and tried to turn with them, but Tenchi and Ayeka's boat was more nimble. Before too long, Ayeka had managed to circle them closely twice. Tenchi saw the gas tank run dry. "Okay, that's it! Go!" Ayeka opened the throttle up on the good engine, and they started off again. Tenchi braced himself against the side of the speedboat and aimed. The pursuing motorboat was gunning its engines and preparing to follow after them. Tenchi fired the flare gun. The red, magnesium flare landed in the water right in front of the boat, igniting the gas trail they had left. The boat was surrounded by flames. In a few seconds, there was a mammoth explosion as the motor boat detonated in an obviously exaggerated manner. Tenchi grinned. Ayeka looked back and laughed in joy. She couldn't believe how much fun this actually was! They stopped smiling when the other motor boat jumped through the flames of its comrade and started to catch up to them. Ayeka ducked as another bullet came close to hitting her. The boat came up alongside their own. Tenchi watched as a goon jumped onto their boat brandishing a crow bar. Tenchi launched himself at the man grabbing hold of his wrist and holding the crowbar over their heads. They both fell to the floor as the pursuing speed boat bumped into them. Ayeka jerked the wheel to the right and bumped back. Tenchi, meanwhile, ducked as the goon swung the crowbar just over his head. Ayeka managed to get behind the speed boat and gunned the throttle. Their stolen speed boat moved forward and bumped the other boat's engines. It was enough. The boat turned to one side and began to slow down. Tenchi brought his knee up into the man's groin. The goon doubled over in pain. Tenchi grabbed him by the shirt and heaved him overboard with a splash. He looked behind him and saw three more motorboats coming after them. They weren't too far from shore. He came to a decision. He grabbed the dropped crowbar and went forward. He grabbed Ayeka by the wrist and helped her out of the driver's seat. "What are you doing?" she asked as he wedged the crowbar into the steering wheel. "We're gonna jump!" "WHAT?!" "Come on!" He took hold of her wrist again, and together they jumped over the side, landing in the water with a splash. Ayeka held her breath and opened her eyes. She looked up and saw the wakes of three boats as they passed overhead. She kicked her legs and swam to the surface. Tenchi's head appeared a second later, near her. They watched as their stolen speed boat, now manned by a crowbar, was pursued by three other boats... Right towards a passing freighter. "Oh...yes!" Tenchi cheered. Ayeka watched as the speed boat began to wobble out of control and hit the side of the freighter in another mammoth, hyperbolic explosion. By an amazing stroke of luck, the three other boats were engulfed in the explosion, the buring wreckage also slamming into the side of the freighter. Tenchi and Ayeka watched wide-eyed as the freighter began taking on water and listing to one side. For no apparent reason, the engines exploded. The crew began dropping life boats into the water. The freighter began to sink. Tenchi gaped at it all. "Oh....man......M's not gonna like this one bit..." Ayeka just nodded. Another explosion marked the freighter's final breath as it sunk beneath the surface. They looked at each other. "I guess we should head back to shore," Tenchi suggested. Ayeka nodded. The two began swimming. "So now what do we do?" Ayeka asked as she swam. Tenchi hmm'd in thought. "Is it just me, or did Da...I mean, Derricks seem to know an awful lot about us?" Ayeka nodded and said, "Sure did. And I wonder what he meant by, 'a mutual friend.'" "Let's find out," Tenchi said. "He said he runs things on Shikei. There's a casino here. I read about it in the brief. If this simulation follows the Bond pattern, then Derrick owns it. We can probably find him there tonight." Ayeka nodded and spit up some water that had found it's way into her mouth. "We should stop by the hotel first and change. I doubt they'll find this...'appropriate.'" "Quite right." They arrived back at the hotel to find Washu standing there. "W?" Tenchi asked. "What are you doing here?" "What I usually do, Double-oh-Ten," Washu told him sternly, "Saving your ass." She opened a briefcase and reached into it. "Got some goodies for ya! First, new weapons." She handed him another PPK to replace the one he lost on Shikei. Turning to Ayeka somewhat icily, she handed her a replacement Makarov. Ayeka pulled the magazine from it and replaced it with a new one. "Don't trust me, Triple A?" Washu asked coldly. "Of course not," Ayeka told her with a hard edge in her voice. "You're British. You might have given me a load of duds. Wouldn't that be...tragic?" Tenchi watched them and blinked, not sure if this was really an act. Washu turned from her. "Here ya go, Double-oh-Ten. New watch." Tenchi took the wristwatch and examined it as Washu explained its features. "Laser, rapelling cord, miniature circular saw. Hit this button..." She showed him a button on the side of the watch and pressed it. The watch face began to glow. "UV scanner. Great for detecting blood stains. It also provides illumination." "So I can 'watch' where I'm going," Tenchi quipped. Washu smiled. "Do try to bring it back in pristine order, Double-oh-Ten." "What do you know about this Derricks person?" Ayeka asked her. Washu turned to her. "Arms dealer. Helped supply the Serbians during that recent skirmish with the Americans. He owns that casino on Shikei too. It's where he gets his juice money." "Told ya," Tenchi said to Ayeka. Ayeka nodded. Tenchi went to the closet and found a tuxedo. "Time for reconaisance." "Well, well, well," Nobuyuki said as he saw Tenchi and Ayeka approach his baccarat table in the private room of the casino. "Now this is a sight. Two dead secret agents." He turned to one of his goons and pulled his gun. Tenchi's hand darted into his jacket for the PPK, but it wasn't necessary. With one fluid motion, Nobuyuki drew his gun and shot the henchman. He got up and screamed at the henchman's body. "That's for lying to me!" He holstered his weapon and sat down again. "It's so difficult to find honest help nowadays," he mutterd. He motioned to two chairs across from him. "Please, sit down." Tenchi and Ayeka were just a little hesitant. "Oh, do sit down. If I was going to try to kill you again, I would have by now. As it stands, it is lucky for me you survived. I've been paid a great deal of money to make sure that you live long enough to go to the reunion." He chuckled. "Yes," Tenchi said with a smile. "I'm sure you have. Let's talk business, shall we?" "Business?" "Yes," Ayeka said. "Business." "You know who's been killing our operatives, Mr. Derricks," Tenchi told him. He snapped his fingers. Washu stepped forward from the door and put a brief case on the table in front of him. "And we are prepared to pay you handsomely." "I have a special relationship with my cli..." "All we want's a name," Tenchi reassured him. "Mr. Masaki," Derricks began. "I'm insulted. To think that I would betray such a confidence denegrates me." "We still need that name, Derricks." Derricks grinned. "No." "Are you sure?" Ayeka asked. "Quite, Triple A." "Hmmmm," Tenchi said thoughtfully. He clicked open the tabs on the case and raised the lid. "Perhaps this will change your mind." Derricks leaned forward to see how much Tenchi was offering. In a lightning quick move, Tenchi's left hand darted out and snatched the gangster's tie. His right reached into the case and pulled an UZI submachine gun. He yanked Derricks toward him and put the gun under his nose. "Quite the offer, don't you think?" Tenchi growled. Ayeka pulled her Makarov from her purse and covered the remaining thug. Washu grinned. "Well, Tenchi, you seem to have things wrapped up here. I'm taking off." "Thanks for the assistance, W," Tenchi said, his eyes never leaving Nobuyuki. "No prob. Oh, by the way. Watch the assassin in the window." With that, she vanished from sight. "Huh?" Tenchi asked. Suddenly Nobuyuki jerked. Blood seeped from the corner of his mouth. Tenchi looked and saw a thin bladed throwing knife sunk into his back up to the hilt. He looked up and saw a shadow in the window move. Ayeka saw it too. "Tenchi!" The thug reached into his jacket for his gun while Ayeka was distracted. Ayeka saw this and pulled the trigger. The Makarov barked once. The man fell to the ground. "Come on!" Tenchi cried, rushing to the door. Ayeka was hot on his heels. Ryoko watched the screen and shook in absolute rage. There the four of them were, talking in some casino. she screamed in her mind. She watched as Washu disappeared and Nobuyuki got knifed in the back. That left Tenchi and Ayeka alone in there. "Oh, no you don't, Ayeka," Ryoko growled. She began pressing buttons on the open holotop, trying to figure out how to deactivate the simulation. She heard voices coming from the back of the lab. It sounded like Washu and Nobuyuki. Ryoko worked faster. "I was cool in that movie, Little Washu!" Nobuyuki was complaining. "Why did I have to die so soon?!" Washu laughed. "Bad guys never live through the movie, remember?" "I know, but I wish I could've hung in there longer." "Why? It's not as if you were controlling your actions. You were just experiencing them." Ryoko growled and stood up. She'd just end the program the old fashioned way. She formed an energy ball and pointed her hand at the computer terminal. "Besides," Washu was saying, her voice getting louder, "It's not as if...RYOKO!" Ryoko let the energy ball fly. The holotop, vid screen, and all the equipment around it exploded in a shower of sparks. Washu screamed and rushed forward. She tried to touch the holotop but it sent an electrical shock her way whenever she tried to get near it. Nobuyuki found a fire extinguisher and began dousing the flames. "Ryoko! What are you..." "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, *MOM*!!" Ryoko screamed at her. "How could you practically *hand* Tenchi to Ayeka like that?!" "It wasn't like that!" Washu cried as she tried to bring her systems back online. "Well, it doesn't matter because I'm putting a stop to it!" Ryoko told her. She turned to the back of the lab and waited for Ayeka to emerge so she could blast the princess properly. She tapped her foot. Any second now. Any second.... She continued to tap her foot while Washu looked over her intstruments. Any time now.... Washu looked over the damage report. Her eyes widened fearfully. Dammit! Where are they!? "What is it, Little Washu?!" Nobuyuki asked worriedly. Washu looked up. "Oh no..." Tenchi stumbled, his hand going to his head. Beside him, Ayeka also paused momentarily. He looked up at her. "You felt that too?" he asked. She nodded. >Washu?< he projected. >Washu? What's going on< He turned back to Ayeka. "I'm not getting anything from Washu." Ayeka wasn't either. She grimaced as she realized what was happening. Washu was engineering an accident so she'd have to shut the simulation down. Well it wasn't going to work. "Come on, Tenchi! She probably just hasn't made it back to her holotop yet! Let's go! They're getting away!" Tenchi grinned and went after her. They found themselves in an old junkyard. Mountains of old, rusty, cars surrounded them. They stopped and looked from side to side. The assassin was nowhere to be seen. They looked to each other and nodded. They moved forward. Suddenly, a voice stopped them. "Hello, Tenchi." Tenchi stopped suddenly and raised the UZI. Ayeka turned also, and saw a dark figure approaching from the shadows. The figure entered the light... Tenchi's eyes widened. The muzzle of the UZI lowered. "Kiyone?" Kiyone, wearing a black leather trench coat grinned. There was a scar on her left cheek, just below the eye. It looked as if a bullet had made it. "Back from the dead," she told him. "What's the matter, Tenchi? Surely you recognized my work for what it was." "Why?" he whispered, Kiyone laughed. "Why else? Money, power, and let us not forget...revenge." "Revenge for what?" Kiyone scratched the scar. "How about for MI6 *abandoning* one of its children," she hissed. "The way you abandoned me." Tenchi shook his head. "You're supposed to be dead." "What can I say?" Kiyone said with a smile. "The aim of the dreaded Agent Triple A is grossly exaggerrated." She grimaced. "It wasn't half as painful as being left to die in Corsica." "And that gives you the right to kill? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?! We didn't know!" Tenchi told her. She smiled. "No, but you're still responsible." There was a high pitched *wizz*. Ayeka cried out and clutched her neck. The feathers of a tranquilizer dart could be seen between her fingers. She fell to the ground, unconscious. There was another *wizz* but luck was with Tenchi. The dart missed him. He dived to his right and rolled into a crouch. He raised the UZI, taking careful aim at Kiyone. Kiyone's eyes went wide in fear. Washu mentally screamed at him. Tenchi paused. >Washu! What's...< There was another *wizz* and sharp pain in his neck. He reached up and touched the dart there. He looked up as he fell to the floor. He saw Kiyone standing over him. "For England, Tenchi..." Then, he saw nothing. He woke up in a sitting position. His head hurt like hell. He tried to raise his hand to his head, but he realized they were tied together in front of him. He looked around himself. He was in a car. A very old, very dilapidated car. His hands were tied to the steering wheel. He looked out the windshield and saw a metal wall in front of him. >Washu?< >Yeah, I can hear you. What's going on?< >Okay, okay. I'm going.< He decided to use the wristwatch saw to cut through the ropes. He looked at the watch and waited for the Wing It program to remind him how to use it. Nothing. Suddenly, the wall in front of him began to move towards him. Tenchi's eyes widened as he realized he was in a compactor at the junkyard. >Washu! What's wrong!? I can't remember how to use the watch!< She told him. Her voice was alarmed. Tenchi activated the saw. The circular edge of the watch began to spin. He started cutting through the ropes. Metal screached as the wall began to press the car into the wall behind him. The ropes snapped free, and Tenchi raised his hands. Grabbing the edge of the sun roof, he pulled himself out just before the steering wheel would've crushed him against the seat. He jumped off the car and out of the compactor, hitting the ground with a thud. He turned and watched the sedan he had been sitting in get crushed. >Washu, what's going on?< Tenchi asked. Washu sighed in relief. She took a look at the smashed equipment around her and at the woman who had caused that damage. Ryoko was watching the holotop's screen with frank concern. "There was a malfunction, Tenchi," she told him, watching Ryoko's face pinch in pain. "We have a serious problem." "Okay," Tenchi's thoughts came out over the audio. "Pull the plug and pull us out." "Can't," Washu told him. "The *malfunction* was widespread. We can't pull you out. But, Tenchi, there's more." "What?" Washu bit her lip. "The Wing It program is down. As long as it is, you know only what Tenchi Masaki knows. That means all the knowledge and experience you've been drawing on up until now is gone." "Okay," Tenchi's voice came out. "What else?" "The safety protocols are down," Washu told him quietly. "Meaning?" "Meaning, Tenchi, that there's no safety net. If you or Ayeka, or Kiyone die in there now, your mind dies out here. That's why you couldn't kill Kiyone. You would have *really* killed Kiyone." She saw Tenchi's image shudder on the holotop. "You mean that's the real Kiyone? Not a simulation?" "Yeah," Washu said quietly. "Where's Ayeka?!" Washu swallowed nervously. "She's captured. Kiyone has her." "Well, as long as she's with Kiyone..." "You don't understand, Tenchi. That's not Detective Kiyone in there. That's Kiyone Makibi, formerly Double-oh-Five. And in case you've forgotten, she hates the two of you a great deal." Tenchi was silent. Then, "Where is she?" Washu sighed. "Tenchi, listen. I'm working on the problem, but it could take some time..." "Ayeka doesn't have time!" "I know! I know! Tenchi, without the Wing It program, you wouldn't stand a chance!" Tenchi was silent again. "I'm working on it." He said nothing for a good minute. "Where?" "Dammit, Tenchi!" Ryoko cried. "Aren't you listening!? This isn't a game anymore! It's real!" "Washu?" Washu sighed. Ryoko glared at her, warned her with her eyes not to tell him. Finally, "There's an underground bunker on Shikei. South end of the island. Kiyone has her there." Tenchi nodded on the screen. "Okay." "Tenchi," Washu told him. "Go back to your hotel room..." "No, Washu! Ayeka's in..." "You'll find another suitcase under the bed. There's some explosives as well as another replacement pistol. You'll need them." Tenchi nodded on the screen. "Thanks, Washu." A thought occurred to him. "Um...If the Wing It program is offline, how will I know how to use the explosives?" "I told you. I'm working on restoring the program. Hopefully, it'll be up again before you get to the bunker." She didn't tell him just how slim a chance this was. "I'll give Ayeka a run down of the problem as soon as I can make contact with her." "Washu," Tenchi asked dangerously, "What the hell was Kiyone doing here?" Washu tensed. "Tenchi...There are no computer simulations." Tenchi said nothing. "In order to maintain the characters over extended periods," Washu confessed, "I needed to use the mind patterns of real people." "My birthday?" Tenchi asked. Washu didn't answer. "Damn you," he whispered. "You lied to me." She didn't answer him. "Did they know?" "No," she told him. He didn't say anything for a long time. Then, "I'm going to find Ayeka. Keep working on the program. Keep me updated." "Good luck, Tenchi." Tenchi didn't answer immediately. "You too." Ayeka woke up bound to a chair, her hands handcuffed together in front of her. She looked around groggily until her eyes rested on Kiyone. They were in an office of some kind. A large bay window was behind Kiyone, overlooking some kind of cave. Kiyone smiled at her and walked towards her. "Well, well, well," she said, "Look who's finally awake." "Kiyone?" Kiyone smiled grimly. Standing on either side of Ayeka was an armed guard. >Washu?< she thought. >Washu? What's happening?< Kiyone knelt in front of her and studied Ayeka's face. "Hmmm," she thought, reaching out with a finger. "You could use a scar," she said, "Right.....here." She grazed Ayeka's left cheek with the tip of her finger. Ayeka rallied. "Tenchi will come after me." Kiyone grinned. "Oh, I'm counting on that. I doubt very much that the compactor would have gotten him. He's too clever for something like that, but I've always loved watching him squirm." >Ms. Washu?!< Kiyone leaned closer to her. "You know," she whispered conspiritorially, "Tenchi and I were very close." She reached out and brushed a few purple hairs out of Ayeka's eyes. "We shared everything," she continued. "Even each other." She circled around Ayeka and knelt down next to her. Then, suddenly, she grabbed Ayeka's chin and lifted her head up. Ayeka's eyes went wide as Kiyone clamped her lips firmly over her own! "Gaaaaaagggghhhhh!" Ayeka's scream was muffled as Kiyone kissed her. Kiyone released her and stood up. Ayeka began to gag, spitting on the floor. "OH, THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING!!!" She cried. Kiyone responded to this by slapping her across the face. "You should appreciate it, Triple A," Kiyone growled. "It's going to be your last one." Ayeka was still coughing, gagging in disgust. "Oooooh! I can't wait for this simulation to end and for you to be reduced to nothing more than a few lines of data in a memory bank!" Kiyone paused and turned back to her. "What?" Ayeka grinned vindictively. "That's right, you see, you're not real. You're a simulation. The real Kiyone is lying on a bed in a lab." Kiyone blinked. Suddenly, Washu's voice was in her head. She began to explain the problems with the program to Ayeka. Ayeka's eyes went wide when she heard about the safety protocols being off. Kiyone looked at her in thought. "You know," she mused out loud. "Tenchi had the opportunity to kill me last night." She walked over to Ayeka and grabbed one of her pony tails. She gave it a firm yank and looked directly into Ayeka's eyes. "Why didn't he take it?" Ayeka gulped but said nothing. Kiyone frowned and gave her hair a jerk. Ayeka cried out in pain. "Why?" Kiyone hissed. She released her hair and nodded to the goon on her left. "Kill her." "Wait!" Kiyone turned back to Ayeka. "Are we ready to speak now, little songbird?" Ayeka gulped. Washu knew she was in a bind. It was either tell Kiyone the truth or die. >Washu! What should I do?!< Washu sighed. Kiyone shrugged and nodded at the goon. He raised a pistol. "I'll tell you!" Kiyone raised her hand and motioned for the goon to stop. Ayeka licked her lips. "Kiyone, the other Kiyone, is wired into a computer simulation. There was....a malfunction. Now...if you die, she dies. That's why Tenchi didn't kill you." Kiyone stepped forward and caressed her cheek. "And I'm supposed to buy this line?" "You asked why. That's why." Kiyone frowned. She walked to her desk and opened a drawer. Reaching inside, she pulled a revolver out. "I'm intrigued. Renard," she said, "Uncuff her." One of the goons unlocked her handcuffs and pulled her out of the chair. Kiyone stepped forward and handed her the pistol. Once Ayeka had the gun. She stepped back. "Shoot me." "Huh?" Kiyone grinned. "Renard, Stamper, I want you to listen to me carefully." The goons listened to her. "After Triple A kills me, I want you to escort her to the exit and turn her loose." Ayeka's eyes widened. "Then, take the thirty-three million we have in petty cash and split it between you. Do you understand?" The goons grinned and nodded eagerly. Kiyone held her arms out. "Well?" she asked. "What are you waiting for? Go ahead. They won't stop you." Ayeka bit her lip and pointed the gun at Kiyone. She couldn't kill Kiyone. She couldn't. But she did have another idea. Kiyone grinned at her. Ayeka acted! She swung her arm around and pointed the gun at the goon known as Renard. She pulled the trigger. *Click.* She looked at the gun in puzzlement. Kiyone nodded at her, and the other goon, Stamper rushed forward and struck her on the back of the head with the butt of his gun. Ayeka cried out and collapsed. The goons picked her up and placed her semiconscious form back in the chair. Ayeka groaned in pain. Kiyone walked up to her and picked up the gun. "I said I was intrigued," she said, "Not stupid." She put the empty revolver on her desk and sat down in the leather chair behind it. "So," she mused, "You can't kill me. And neither can dear Tenchi." She laughed. "Delicious." "Dammit!" Washu swore. "Everything is fused together, and the program files of half the database are wiped. I have to rebuild the programs from scratch!" Ryoko didn't say anything. "You know, Ryoko," Washu said, "I was handling it. Ayeka didn't give me a choice in the matter. I *had* to do it." Ryoko ignored her. Washu turned on her daughter. "Just remember this while you sit there and pout!" Washu cried, "If they die in there, it'll be because of *your* temper!" "I SAID I WAS SORRY!!" Ryoko shouted back. "Sometimes, Ryoko, sorry just doesn't cut it." Washu turned and went back to work. Ryoko swallowed nervously. She turned and watched the monitor. "Dammit!" Washu cried out again. Ryoko had been busy watching Tenchi as he approached the bunker. "I can't narrow the brain wave patterns tight enough to establish a concrete link!" Ryoko looked over her shoulder and blinked at the instruments. "What if you concentrated on establishing their ego-borders, then *broadening* the scan to encompass it? This way you're guaranteed to get the entire pattern without having to worry about an exact pattern lock." Washu looked at her in astonishment. "Or...something like that," Ryoko said lamely. Washu nodded slowly. "So...we're not as stupid as we let on, huh?" Ryoko said nothing. The scientist set about adjusting her systems to concentrate on Tenchi, Ayeka, and Kiyone's ego borders. "Now, while the computer works on that, I can get to work on the Wing It program. You..." she pointed at a shocked Ryoko. "Yeah, yeah, I know," Ryoko said dejectedly. "I'm going..." "Get to work on the computer files dealing with the safety protocols. If we can get those on line, we're safe anyway." "Huh?!" Ryoko blinked in shock. Washu looked at her and saw that she hadn't moved. "Well, get going! We don't have much time!" >Yeah, Washu?< Tenchi nodded to himself. >Okay.< One of the bunker's guards prodded him in the back, and Tenchi walked forward. He figured that he might not have the Wing It program to help him, but he still had eighteen movies under his belt, and the program would still act as if it were a James Bond movie. That meant the guards wouldn't kill him immediately. They'd take him to Kiyone. So, he had walked right up to the bunker's entrance and surrendered. The underground cavern was mammoth. Rows of computer terminals ran across the floor. Armed guards walked on catwalks above these computers. He still had no idea what they were for, nor did he care. There was a steel door at the other end of the cavern. Above this door was a large bay window embedded in the rock. Tenchi could see Kiyone standing behind it. "That's far enough," Kiyone's voice said over a set of loudspeakers. The guards stopped him from going any further. "Well, Tenchi, there have been times when I was sure we'd die together, although I never thought it would be like this." "Night's still young," Tenchi called out. "Where's Ayeka?" Kiyone smiled behind the glass and addressed the guards. "Take him topside and put a bullet in him." Tenchi's eyes went wide. "That's it?!" he cried out. Kiyone shrugged. "I didn't get this far by taking risks." >Washu, if you've got something to say, now's the time!< he thought as the guards began leading him to the elevator. The guards shoved him into the elevator. >I have a bigger snag, Washu...< The guards entered the elevator with him. >I'll take it.< The guards stood on either side of him. >NOW!< He could feel the mental rush as the Wing It program came back up. Acting quickly, he lashed out at the guard on his right, giving the man a swift chop to the adam's apple. The man's hands went to his throat as he gurgled in pain. Tenchi grabbed the man and pulled him in front of him just as the other guard raised his MP5 submachine gun and fired. The guard Tenchi held screamed as nine millimeter rounds tore into him. Tenchi reached around and grabbed the MP5 his guard had slung over his shoulder and fired back. The other guard was thrown back, striking the elevator wall. Tenchi dropped his guard and knelt down next to him. Reaching into the man's pocket, he found the two time bombs they had taken from him. He ran out of the elevator and fired up at one of the guards on the catwalk. The guard fell from the metal walkway and hit the ground. Tenchi fired a few more times and heard the click as his weapon ran dry. He ducked behind a computer terminal as two more guards fired at him. He found the body of the guard he shot off the catwalk and took his MP5. He put one of the bombs on the terminal and set the timer for ten seconds. He got up and fired at the guards as he ran toward the door on the other side of the cavern. The bomb went off behind him. He continued for the door. Kiyone watched as a part of her secret lab exploded. She threw a look at Ayeka and smiled. Walking over to her desk, she pulled the revolver from the drawer and loaded a single bullet in it. She sat on the edge of her desk and waited. Tenchi shot one more guard before the second MP5 clicked empty. He reached down and took the dead guard's forty-five pistol before running into the steel door. He saw a metal stair case and began running up it two steps at a time. Washu's voice cried out in his mind. He raced up the stairs and kicked open the door at the end. He saw two armed guards... Tenchi shot one and dropped to one knee as the other raised the gun. He rolled to the side and shot him through the eye. Tenchi got up and pointed the gun at Kiyone, who was grinning at him. He felt a slight pain in his head as the Wing It program shut down again. "TENCHI!" He turned his head and saw Ayeka hancuffed to a chair off to the side. Kiyone smiled at him and showed him the revolver. "What are you waiting for, Tenchi? Kill me." Tenchi bit his lip. Kiyone smiled. She turned the cylinder in her revolver and pointed it at him. "Ever play Russian Roullette, Tenchi?" Tenchi didn't move. "Drop it," he ordered. Kiyone smiled. "Or what?" She pulled the hammer back on the revolver. "You'll shoot me?" Tenchi said nothing. She pointed the gun at him. Kiyone smiled and pulled the trigger. Tenchi flinched as he heard the hollow click as the hammer struck an empty chamber. Kiyone grinned and spun the cylinder again. "You know, Tenchi," she said, "You taught me that life can end in the blink of an eye, and that it's usually based purely on chance." She put the gun to her head, grinned and pulled the trigger. There was another click. Tenchi flinched again. "Drop it!" he shouted. Kiyone spun the cylinder. "Shoot me, Tenchi. Go ahead. I'm not real." She grinned and pointed the gun at Ayeka. "Or maybe this is a bluff," she said. "Maybe you'll put your gun down and surrender while I hold an empty gun on your...friend." Tenchi didn't move. "Or maybe not." Kiyone pulled the trigger. There was a loud shot. Ayeka screamed and fell over backwards in her chair. "AYEKA!!" "WASHU!" "I'M WORKING ON IT!!" Washu screamed as she typed away at her holotop. On her screen, Ayeka's vitals were becoming more erratic. "DAMMIT!! Hold on, Ayeka! I'm almost there!" Tenchi looked at Ayeka's body in horror. Kiyone laughed and dropped the revolver. "I guess chance just wasn't with her." "Ayeka?" he whispered. Kiyone laughed again. "Now, then, Tenchi. I'll give you one chance to surrender. I know you can't kill me without killing the..." She mimed quotation marks with her fingers. "'Real me.' So you might as well drop the gun." Tenchi grit his teeth and looked up at her. He shifted his stance and raised the gun. Kiyone grinned. "Still playing the hero?" Tenchi pulled the hammer back with a sharp, *click.* Kiyone's smile faltered. "Tenchi? You wouldn't kill your friend, Kiyone, would you?" Tenchi looked at the monster before him and pulled the trigger... Tenchi's eyes opened suddenly. Lying on the biobed next to him he heard Kiyone cry out. "Holy shit!" He looked over and saw her sitting bolt upright, breathing hard. He blinked and saw Washu run past him, followed closely by Ryoko. He watched as they stopped next to Ayeka's bed. The princess was pale, her breathing was quick and shallow. Washu checked her vitals. "She has a pulse," Washu said. "But it's pretty weak." She scanned Ayeka and injected her with an unknown chemical. Ayeka's breathing got stronger, and the color returned to her cheeks. Washu looked over at him and smiled. "She's gonna be okay." "Table or booth?" The waiter asked. "TABLE!" Tenchi and Ayeka cried out at the same time. They entire family was seated in front of the stage at the same dark, seedy bar they had visited in the simulation. Three days had passed since Tenchi, Ayeka, and Ryoko had woken up from the simulation. Tenchi had forced Washu to promise to dismantle the the machine as a price for his forgiving her for lying to him, but Washu had asked for one night in the simulation to help make it up to him. So the entire family was in the bar now for dinner. "Washu, can I talk to you?" Washu nodded at Ryoko and led her to a separate booth. Sitting down, Ryoko began to speak. "Why didn't you tell Tenchi and Ayeka what happened in the lab?" Washu looked at her daughter sternly and said, "Because Tenchi is pissed at me. And there's no reason to make him pissed at both of us." "Thank you...Washu." Washu nodded. "Just remember, Ryoko," she said seriously, "You have got to learn to control that temper of yours, because it almost killed the three of them. I can understand that you were angry, but you have to learn that you can't just kill whatever problem comes your way." Ryoko listened guiltily. Nearly killing Tenchi had been a very humbling experience. "Okay." Washu nodded, then smiled. "But, hey! It all turned out all right! Now I'm going up on stage! Wanna come?!" Ryoko shook her head. "Okay." Washu got up from the booth and paused. "Ryoko," Ryoko looked at her mother. "After that, though....you did okay." Ryoko smiled. "Of course," Washu went on, "Now that I know you're not a moron, you'll have to work off what you destroyed by helping me in the lab. I figure a few months in the lab as my assistant should about cover it. There's no need to drag Tenchi into it." Ryoko blinked in surprise. Washu smiled. "Thanks, Mom." Washu's smile intensified at hearing Ryoko call her, "Mom." She grinned and made for the stage. "Kiyone?" Kiyone turned to Tenchi and smiled. "Yeah, Tenchi?" Tenchi took her elbow and pulled her aside. "I just wanted to tell you...how sorry I am...I..." She held up a hand and stopped him from going any further. "Tenchi, after the...malfunction...I became conscious. I could see what I was doing, but I couldn't stop it. And you know what? I was *screaming* at you to shoot me." Tenchi blinked. "There's no need to apologize to me." She threw a hard look at Washu. "There was no way for you to know, and if you *had* shot me, I wouldn't have blamed you one bit." She smiled. "So cheer up. We're still friends." Tenchi smiled. "Thanks Kiyone." Kiyone went back to her seat. Tenchi looked up and saw Ayeka sitting alone at a corner booth. He started towards her. Ayeka stared into her drink and sighed. It had almost worked. She and Tenchi were developing a connection, she could *feel* it. If it weren't for that damn malfunction in the system. She took a drink and sighed again. Maybe she and Tenchi simply weren't *meant* to be together. "Ayeka?" She looked up and saw Tenchi there. "Can I sit down?" "Of..Of course, Tenchi. Please." Tenchi sat down across from her. "Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded. "Yes, Tenchi. I'm fine. I'm...sorry...about how things turned out." He smiled. "Don't be. The first half was fun." She laughed. "It was, wasn't it?" They turned as they heard someone on the main stage tap the microphone with his finger. Tenchi's father, complete with eyepatch and cigar stood there. "Now listen up," he said, getting into character, "We's got a young lady who'd like to sing for ya's." He adjusted the microphone stand to about half its original height and bent down to speak into it. "The Great Little Washu!" The simulated crowd applauded as Washu walked up to the mic and began to sing. The piano player began to play a familiar tune. *Nobody does it better, Makes me feel sad for the rest, Nobody does it, Half as good as you, Baby you're the best. I wasn't looking, But somehow you found me, I tried to hide from your love light, Like heaven above me, The princess who loved me, Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight.* As Tenchi listened to the song, he looked over at Ayeka and cleared his throat. Ayeka looked up at him quizzically. "Ayeka, I managed to get two tickets to the opening of the new Bond movie, but it turns out Dad has to work late that night." Ayeka blinked. "Would you like to come see 'The World Is Not Enough,' with me?" Ayeka's eyes went wide. "You mean it?" she asked. He smiled and nodded. "Yeah. You and me. What do you say?" "Well...I...I would be...." she screamed at herself, "Yes," she said simply. Tenchi smiled at her. *Baby, baby... Darl'n, you're the beeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssstttttttttttt.* The simulated audience applauded. Washu bowed. Ayeka applauded along with Tenchi. As she did, she looked over at him and smiled. She sighed. Tenchi Masaki Will Return. End Notes: Glossary: FSB- Federal Security Bureau, what was once known as the KGB. MOSSAD- Ha Mossad Le modi'in UleTafkidim Meyuhadim. (The Institute for Intelligence and Special Tasks) Israeli intelligence. Five- Short for MI5. British Security Service. In charge of counterintelligence and counterterrorism. Special Branch- Scotland Yard department that conducts police work for British intelligence agencies, especially MI5. The song Washu is singing at the end is, "Nobody Does it Better," by Carly Simon. The word "spy" was replaced by "princess" for obvious reasons. This fic is dedicated to the memory of Desmond Lewellyn, 1914-1999. Please send C&C to: Thomas "009" Doscher at doscher009@hotmail.com Thanks for reading.