Disclaimer: I do not own Tenchi MuyoTV, Dragon Ball Z, Evangelion, Final Fantasy VII, or Turok 2. So don't sue me! My webpage is being updated constantly, and I hope to see you visit and sign my guestbook. On with the fucking fic already... Tenchi Muyo TV 2 Part I: "Kain Returns" ------------------------------------ By Ultima Trev Setting: Jurai, the year A.D. 2012, a certain Jurai king and his wife are being visited by family. Notice how in all my fics Tenchi is grown up and married to Sasami? Then again, those are fics based on the OVA, but this is based on the TV series! His wife is non other than that secksay biatch Kiyone! Nobuyuki: "Tenchi, how many times have you and Kiyone... You know." Kiyone: "Just say it you fucking Hentai freak!" Tenchi: * Dad's such a perv, it sickens me. * Yosho: "How are the others?" Tenchi: "They were real depressed that I didn't choose them..." Kiyone: "...so they all ran away with out a trace." Nobuyuki: "How about Yosho and I come live with you guys." Tenchi: "So you can peep on my wife?" Nobuyuki: "Hell yes!" Yosho: "Hahahahaha, you guys crack me up!" Meanwhile in subspace... "At last, I have found the exit, and now those Juraians will feel the true power of Kain." (From Tenchi Muyo in Love, the better of the 2 movies based on the TV series. The 2nd movie however, the one with Mayuka, was based on the OVA. I know, I'm kinda confused also, but it's true) Meanwhile in Heaven, on the Grande Kaio-sama's planet... Achika: "Such an evil presence I feel..." North Kaio-sama: "What is it?" Achika: "Kain, the most wicked evil, EVER. I am the only one who can who can stand up against him..." (So true, she displays she is much stronger than Tenchi in the battle with Kain.) Grande Kaio-sama: "Hey, if you can win the next tournament, I'll grant you 24 hours of life." North Kaio-sama: "Grand Kaio-sama, you know she's not anywhere near the level of Son Gokou! How could she possibly win?" Achika: "...............?" Grande Kaio-sama: "It's a Joke, I can send her back anytime." Achika: "I applaud your kindness Grande Kaio-sama." "Hey Kaio-sama, what's up?" North Kaio-sama: "Son Gokou, it's about time you woke up." Son Gokou: "It is?" Grande Kaio-sama: "Sone Gokou, we seem to have a crisis on our hands." Son Gokou: "Is Jenemba back!? North Kaio-sama: "No..." Son Gokou: "Majin Buu?" Grande Kaio-sama: "Nope..." North Kaio-sama: "It's Kain." Son Gokou: "Oh yeah, Miss Achika here has told me that story before..." Grande Kaio-sama: "Well Son Gokou, it's time you muster up your level 3 Super Saiya-jin power, 'cuz we're sending you with Achika to investigate this new Kain incident... Son Gokou: "Alright, It's gonna feel so good to battle once again!" Meanwhile on Jurai... Kain: "I can feel it, the power of the Jurai!" citizen: "Oh my god, what is that thing?" Jurai guard: "I have no idea..." Kain: "Die!" Kain then blast the surrounding guards / civilians, causing mass mutilation... Kain: "Now it will be that whench's turn." Meanwhile at the palace... guard: "King Tenchi, we have recieved word a terrorist is on Jurai!" Tenchi: "What?" guard: "Though we're not sure, we believe Kain has returned." Tenchi (going into a trance): * Kain. Kain. Kain. He's back. This is awful. My mother was stronger than I, yet she was unable to conquer him. How will I ever rid of this threat? * guard: "Sire?" Tenchi: "We have recieved those plasma sheilds and K7 Avengers from dataDYNE, haven't we?" guard: "Yes..." Tenchi: "Then deploy the infantry equipped with the dataDYNE weaponry!" guard: "As you wish my king." Kain rips through the infantry within a matter of six minutes and 50 seconds... guard: "We have recieved word that the infantry..." SPLAT! The guy explodes in to instagibs right in Tenchi's face... Kain: "We meet again Juraian prince, or should I say king? Now tell me, where is your mother?" Tenchi: "She died, so you're gonna have to take out your anger on me." Kain: "This won't be any fun, at least your mother had a power one tenth of my own." Tenchi: "Die!" Tenchi then uses the master key to slice Kain, but much to his suprise... Kain: "It seems you are much to weak to break through my ki shields..." Tenchi: "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Moments later... Kain: "Who is your master? Tenchi (possessed): "You and only you." Kain: "Good, I want you to takeyour place as the dictator of Jurai. From there on you will declare war on every civilization possible!" Tenchi: "As you wish master." Over the course of the next few weeks, Tenchi and his dictorship has turned Jurai into a hellhole, as well as neighboring planets... Azaka: "Lord, I don't believe people will wish to have a 50% tax rate." Tenchi: "You have to remember, this is no longer a monarchy. THIS IS NOW A DICTATORSHIP!" Kamidake: "But why so my king?" Tenchi: "Because our God needs absolute power!" Azaka: "Excuse us, we have work to do." Kiyone: * I think he's been working too hard... * Outside of the throne room... Azaka: "Our God?" Kamidake: "I don't believe we Juraians have a God..." (remember, Tsunami only exist in the OVA) Azaka: "There is something wrong though, and we must get to the bottom of this..." Kamidake: "Aye!" A month later in the world known as the lost land, Jurai has obliterated every last one of the citizens, except Josh Fireseed... (Turok II) Turok II: "What irony! saving this world from the dino mutants only to have it obilerated by a neighboring planet!" Adon: "Josh, now is not the time to mourne, it is time for vengeance." Turok II: "Agreed, I will slaughter the one responsible for this, then I will mourne my people." Elsewhere on Jurai, two of the North Kaio-sama's greatest students have arrived... Achika: "What a strange place this is..." Son Gokou: "And this is your home planet?" Achika: "I guess so..." Son Gokou: "Well, where do we start?" In the forbidden shrine of the knights... Kain (Hey, he has to hide somewhere, doesn't he?): "I can feel it, I can feel lady Achika's power. She's alive once again, and now the rematch is to begin..." Back to Jurai... Black Jurai Guardian A (sorta like Kagato's gauardians near the end of Tenchi Muyo TV ): "Who are you, our pocket PCs don't have any data on you..." Son Goku: "Hey, that's with those weapons? You could hurt somebody with that." Black Jurai Guardian B: "We will have to bring you to out master for questioning." Later in throneroom... Tenchi: "If it isn't the Black guardians, Tetsuo and Kaneda. (Kain thought they would make good guardians I guess.) What can i do for you? Kaneda (A): "We have visitors who are here to see you." Tetsuo (B): "Our pocket PC network has no data on then, so we assume they have never passed through the check in station." Tenchi: "Ah, let us welcome these unpleasent tresspassers." Kiyone: "Dear, may I please be excused?" Tenchi: "Do not worry my dear, for one day you will enjoy these executions as much as I." Tetsuo and Kaneda then walk through the door and grab the tresspassers... Kiyone: "Oh my God, it's..." Tenchi: "What is it?" Kiyone: "That woman is your mother!" Tenchi: "So it is, but she has opposed our God, and must be terminated." Kiyone: "Damn it Tenchi, who is this God you keep reffering too!" Tenchi: "The great and mighty Kain!" Kiyone: "Kain?" Tenchi: "Yes, I have seen the light and have taken a vow of honor as a general of Kain's army." Kiyone: * No wonder he's been out of commision, Kain has him in a spell. * Achika: "My son, he has become a servent of evil..." Son Gokou: "Your son?" Achika: "He's the one sitting in the throne." Son Gokou: * I just hope I won't have to fuse with Vegita. Man oh man, Vegita said Jurai was the worst of their enemies, and if he was here, he would more than likely blow this place up. * Meanwhile in Hell... Vegita: "Why do you need my help?" Kain: "Think of this as an opportunitty to get your revenge on Kakaratto one and for all!" Vegita: "And why do you need my help to kill this woman as well?" Kain: "She is no ordinary woman, she is from the house of Jurai!" Vegita: "Since I loathe the Juraians to no end, I'll gladly help." With that, Vegita then once again transforms into SSJ2 Majin Vegita. Back on Jurai... Tenchi: "Which one of you will die first?" Son Gokou: "You won't kill me, for I am tied as the 2nd most powerful Saiya-jin to ever live." (He's tied with Majin Vegita, beaten by Broily) Tenchi: "Ah, quite the honorable one you appear to be. I guess we shuld have a duel before I send you to your grave." Son Gokou: "Your move, buddy." Tenchi then extends the master key's blade to 4 and 1/2 feet... Tenchi: "Now you will see the how we Juaians make the Saiya-jin obsolete..." Tenchi goes in for the kill, but Goku easily evades the strike... Tenchi: "Ah, I see you are much faster than I predicted. But it's just too bad your power is mere shit compared to my own." Son Gokou: "I will have to prove you wrong on that matter, won't I?" Gokou then transforms into his SSJ2 form... Tenchi: "What the hell is this? His power shouldn't match my own, let alone surpass it! Son Gokou: "Surrender, you have no chance of winning." The entire sun, a large black cloud looms over the throune room, lightning striking everywhere. "We meet again." Son Gokou: "What this power I'm sensing?" Achika: "It's Kain!" Tenchi, Kaneda, and Tetsuo bow to their God... Kain: "My fellow servants, you are now demoted to colonel, for I hve found a REAL general." Achika: "General?" Kiyone: * I better run while I can... * As Kiyone bolts for the door, BOOM! someone knocked she bumps into a rather small fellow, and gets knocked back a good 10 feet... Kiyone: "OUCH!" Majin Vegita: "Well Kakarotto, it's time we settle the score once again." Son Gokou: "Shit, he is Majin Vegita once again!" Achika: "You take care of him while I confront Kain." Kain: "Tenchi, Kaneda, and Tetsuo, guard the throne room door. I don't want anyone getting in or out." Tench, Kaneda, and Tetsuo: "Yes lord Kain." Kain: "And Tenchi, toss your sword to Achika, I want a challenge for once." Tenchi, Kaneda, and Tetsuo then leave the throne room so they can stand on guard... Achika: "Kain, you have sealed you fate by challenging me to a duel. In death, I was trained in the art of Kaioken." Kain: "As if I'm supposed to feel threatened by that? You underestimate the power of Kain." Achika: "We shall see." Achika then uses the master key and uses her energy to extend the blade to a whooping 6 feet... Kain: "Now let's see how much you've improved..." On the other side of the throne room... Majin Vegita: "Kakarotto, let's take this outside. Son Gokou: "Lead the way." Gokou follows Vegita to the abandoned shrine... (the shrine with the Yosho and Kagato statue.) Majin Vegita: "Kakarotto, I hope you're ready to die." Son Gokou: "More than ever." Meanwhile outside of the throne room... Tetsuo: "This is boring, I was hoping to blow some shit up." Kaneda: "Yeah, I haven't killed anyone with my beam cannon in a while." Tenchi: "Quiet..." Tenchi and the others are appproached by Turok II... Keneda: "I'll take care of him." Kaneda then attepts to fire his beam rifle, but Turok quiclky draws the chronoceptor, blowing Kaneda to kibles and bits... Tetsuo: "Kaneda!" Tetsuo then unleashes his ultra powerful psychic abilites... Turok II: "Crap... What would be the perfect weapon for this situation? Ah-ha!" Turok II draws his Fusion Cannon, blowing Tetsuo up like a nuclear blast of pure blood... Tenchi: "Oh shit..." Turok II: "A knife should be more than enough to take this guy out..." Turok II then goes in for the kill and... SPLAT! Turok's knife hits with such force it goes all the way through Tenchi... Tenchi: "It's gonna take more than that!" Turok: "Damn it, that knife went all the way through him!" After Turok's knife is removed, Tenchi uses the Cure spell from Final Fantasy to fully regenerate himself. Apparantly Tenchi has gained the ability to mock other abilities after Kain possessed him... Tenchi: "Ka... Me... Ha... Me... Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Turok fires another shot of the Fusion Cannon which canels out the Kamehameha wave... Turok: "Eat this!" Turok fires off his trusty rocket launcher, which gets canceled out by Tenchi's Absoslute Terror Field... Turok: "Son of a bitch!" Now to the battle of Kain and Achika... Kain: "Well young lady, what's stopping you..." Achika: * There's no point, he's just far too strong. I'll never defeat him... * Kain: "Ha ha ha ha! You now see there is no stopping the almighty Kain!" Narrator: "Next time on Tenchi Muyo TV II: Achika gets a real thrashing, Son Gokou and Vegita have a war, and Turok is driven to the edge. But things start to get real bad, as Majin Buu returns to assist Kain, who is none other than his son! With no one to assist her, Achika is petrified beyond belief. Who will come to her aide? WILL ANYONE COME TO HER AIDE? Find out next time...