TENCHI MORON-NO NEED FOR MAKING SENSE "Its unquestionably fucked up!" The day starts out like most other days. Ryoko is gettin her drink on, Sasami is gettin her cook on, and of course, Kiyone is gettin her lesbi-on. KIYONE-"Come on Mihoshi! You know you wanna!" MIHOSHI-"No way, Kiyone! And give me my pants back!" KIYONE-"Aw, your never any fun, bitch." Throws her pants back and walks out. Unbeknownst to her, Noboyuke was listening to her in the next room. NOBOYUKE-"Wait a minute...KIYONE IS A LESBIAN? Wow, come to think of it, it all makes sense! The way she isnt interested in Tenchi, the way she's so bitchy, and how she always has sex with women! Woooooo! I wont need these any more!" he sets fire to his porno movies and does his happy dance. MEANWHILE AYEKA-"Hello, Tenchi!" TENCHI-"Ayeka?" Does an anime fall. AYEKA-"Tenchi! Whats wrong now? What did I say?" TENCHI-"Ow..shit...nothin, I just slipped on something." AYEKA-"Hey, it looks like Ryo-oke comes here to take a crap!" TENCHI-"So thats where she does it!" Suddenly Mihoshi comes rushing by crying, but quickly stops. MIHOSHI-"Hey! How did you guys find my CocoPuff crop?" TENCHI-looking confused-"Uh...excuse me?" MIHOSHI-"Yeah! I wanted it to be a suprise, but I have been harvesting these natural CocoPuffs and refilling the cereal boxes." BACK AT THE HOUSE RYOKO-*shudder*-"Wow...that must have been a burnt puff...oh well *crunch*" LATER THAT DAY Ayeka is sweeping the ground again, when Ryoko appears. AYEKA-"Why is this ground always so dirty?" RYOKO-"Oh, there you are Ayeka!" AYEKA-"Yes, so what do you want?" RYOKO-"Well, I was getting ready to take a bath with your little sister, but when Mihoshi was rubbing oil all over my naked body, something wierd happened." AYEKA-"You discovered that you dont have nipples?" RYOKO-"No, I said 'wierd'. I cant find my tail. It was there one minute and then....Have you seen it, by any chance?" AYEKA-"Nope, cant say that I have..." Ryoko begins to fade away, but Ayeka remembers something. "Say..Ryoko..." RYOKO-"Hm?" AYEKA-"Have you noticed anything....wierd about Tenchi?" RYOKO-"What do you mean? Is this just another ingenious plot?" AYEKA-"I dont know what you mean." RYOKO-"Like that time you told me that Washu was Tenchi in disguise, so I accidentally stripped her naked in public and made sweet love to her!" AYEKA-"No, its nothing like th..wait..why did you do that? Nevermind, its not important. I was just wondering if you thought that it was kind of wierd that Tenchi never uh...pays attention to any of us." RYOKO-"You know, now that I think about it...Well, that just means I'll have to try harder!" She teleports away. AYEKA-"Damn! Now I'll have to increase my efforts as well." STILL LATER, STILL SCRIPT FORMAT RYOKO-walking into living room-"Tenchi...FUCK ME NOW!" TENCHI-"*sigh* Ryoko, cant you see I'm CLIPPING my TOENAILS?" RYOKO-"Uh...oookay...HOLY SHIT! TENCHI, WHAT ARE THOSE?" TENCHI-leaping up-"WHAT? WHERE?" RYOKO-pushing her boobs into his face-"These! They were just there when I woke up!" TENCHI-"EEEeeek! They're scary!" RYOKO-"That...wasnt what I expected..." Suddenly, a blood curdling scream, that isnt from Tenchi, echo's through the house. AYEKA-"TENCHI! HELP ME!" Tenchi rushes to Ayekas room, only to find it empty. TENCHI-"Ayeka? What happened?" Suddenly, the door slams and locks. AYEKA-"Oh, Tenchi! What are you doing here?" TENCHI-"But..you just yelled and.." AYEKA-"No I didnt...O dear, it seems you caught me in my underwear!" TENCHI-"But Ayeka, you aren't even wearing uderwear!" AYEKA-"Oh, look at that, Im not. Well...Tenchi, since we're both here...why dont we..." TENCHI-"....." AYEKA-"......You know..." TENCHI-stares blankly AYEKA-"......" TENCHI-"...Duuuhhh..." MEANWHILE, THE SCREAM ATTRACTED NOBOYUKI TO THE LIVING ROOM, WHERE MIHOSHI WAS WATCHING TV TV GUY-"And then, if you dab the sponges on the wall, you get a lovely border pattern!" MARTHA STUART-"Thats right, Satan. Also, I use water based paint...." NOBOYUKE-"Hey, anyone seen Kiyone?" MIHOSHI-"No, cant say I have." RYOKO-"Hey, Old Dirty Bastard..." NOBOYUKE-"mmmYYYyeesss?" RYOKO-"Can I talk to you for a minute?" MINUTES LATER NOBOYUKE-"No! I cant believe it!" RYOKO-"Its true! Just check it out for yourself!" Tenchi walks by, after narrowly 'escaping' the porno palace of Ayeka's room. NOBOYUKE-"Hey, Tenchi! Me and these hot chicks were gonna go on an adventure, full of explosions and adult situations! Want to come along?" TENCHI-"I dont think so, I have homework to do." He walks away. NOBOYUKE-"Hhhmm...Its worse than I thought...OH WELL, no time for that, I got some lesbians to stalk! Tee hee!" As he leaves the house, Ryoko steps into the room. RYOKO-"So, you get lucky?" AYEKA-blushing-"What?" RYOKO-"I said 'you have any luck'?" AYEKA-"I dont believe its any of your business....and no." RYOKO-"Now I'm starting to worry...lets go see Washu." You know where they went. Meanwhile, Kiyone creeps from her hiding place under the carpet and sneaks up behind Mihoshi. KIYONE-"HEY MIHOSHI!" MIHOSHI-"AAAAAAHHH!! Oh...its just you Kiyone." KIYONE-"Hey, I got this great new thing we can try!" MIHOSHI-"...Wh-What is it Kiyone?" KIYONE-"Its kareoke!" MIHOSHI-"Oh Wow!" KIYONE-"Naked!" MIHOSHI-"...huh?" MEANWHILE RYOKO-"Alright Washu, that's the situation. We need your help." WASHU-"Well actually, I dont know why you two spend so much time on useless physical persuits..." Those two Washu puppets appear on her shoulders. WASHU_A-"Dont believe her!" WASHU_B-"Yeah, she uses us as dildos when no ones around! That's why she locks the door." WASHU-"Hey, shut up!" WASHU_A-"I go in her ass!" WASHU_B-"Save us from her bottomless cunt!" WASHU-"Thats enough out of you two!" She draws a sword, but the puppets pull knives. WASHU_A-"I dont think so!" WASHU_B-"Friends to the end, Mikey!" They begin a life or death struggle, which takes some time.... MEANWHILE AGAIN, IN THE LIVING ROOM MIHOSHI-"I dont know what you're talking about Kiyone!" KIYONE-"Damn, bitch, you know how much I love it when you talk stupid to me! Say it again!" MIHOSHI-"What?" KIYONE-"Oh..OH yeah, that's the way! Quick, work this Rubicks cube!" MIHOSHI-"Whu? What do I do with this?" KIYONE-"OOOHHHhhhh AH Aaahhhh!" SOMEWHERE ELSE NOBOYUKE-"Damn! I just know I'm missing something that would make me horny!" BACK AT WASHU'S MASTUR...UH...LAB WASHU-"Whew! It was hard, but I finally killed those bitchass puppets." AYEKA-"Hhhmm...yes, but you still need to help us with our problem!" WASHU-"I've seen Tenchi naked, and believe me...there isn't any problem." RYOKO-"What do you mean?" WASHU-"Let me put it like this....what are the differences.." points at her crotch "..between me and Tenchi?" AYEKA-"Hold on...Let me use my 'phone a friend'!" Pulls a cel phone. A ringing is heard in the room. RYOKO-"Just a sec you two. *beep* Hello?" AYEKA-"Ryoko, you fucked Washu right? So what is the difference between her and Tenchi?" RYOKO-"Wait, I know this one! Uh...John Madden!" AYEKA-"Okay, Washu, the difference between you and Tenchi is...John Madden! Final answer!" WASHU-"Alright...let me ask again...What is the physical difference between me...and Tenchi?" They shrug their shoulders. WASHU-"The answer is...not very much." AYEKA-"What exactly do you mean?" Washu whispers something to them, and holds her arms far apart. Their faces brighten. Then Washu shakes her head, and moves her hands closer together, until they almost touch. RYOKO-"Oh...oh hell." AYEKA-"I agree...well..guess I'll just have to become a lesbian." SOMEWHERE ELSE NOBOYUKE-"Alright, that time, I know I felt something!" STRIPPER-"You cant do that in here, buddy!" BACK AT TENCHI'S, THE NEXT MORNING Sasami greets everyone at the table, and serves up a large sausage shaped thing. TENCHI-"Wait a minute, is that what I think it is?" SASAMI-"Yep!" WASHU-"Not again!" SASAMI-"What? You dont like balogna? It was on sale!" TENCHI-"OOooohh...heh heh...this is great." KIYONE-"Good morning, Ayeka..hee hee." THE END Stay tuned for future episodes of Tenchi-Moron!