Tenchi 1/2 A Tenchi Muyo!--Ranma 1/2 crossover by Saotome Tenchi @aol.com Tenchi Muyo! is the property of Pioneer LDC and AIC. Ranma 1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi. Tenchi Muyo! and Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are being used without permission for this not for profit fanfic. So please no wagering. ^_^ The following fanfic is inspired by the above and from the following fanfic writers: Wade Tritscwaller, Jim Bader, D.B. Sommer, David Tai, Paul Gallegos, Thomas "009" Doscher, Stephen Tsai, Robert Haynie and D.F. Roeder. Take a bow people, you've earned it! ^_^ The following fanfic has been dubbed for your reading pleasure. ^_^ TENCHI 1/2 CHAPTER II "School Days, School Daze" [It is the next morning in Nerima. A light mist is covering the area. Off in the distance, Akane Tendo is fast approaching on the final leg of her morning run. Approaching the front gate to her home, she is startled by the intensity of the morning workout of the Saotomes.] AKANE: [Thinks] [Entering the yard, Akane could see that off to one side, Tenchi is by himself practicing with his sword. She could see that he is using techniques that she has never seen before. Entering the living room, she could get a closer look at what Ranma and Genma are doing: they are executing impressive leaps and kicks that would actually injure anyone of lesser talent.] AKANE: [Grudgingly impressed] I guess they are pretty good... [As she makes her comment, Nabiki wanders into the living room with a toothbrush in her mouth, having just woke up. Soun is sitting at the table reading the morning paper and Kasumi is just bringing out breakfast.] NABIKI: [very droll] My, aren't they chipper. [She then sits down] KASUMI: So energetic! [At this time, Tenchi, having completed his morning practice, walks into the living room and sits down for breakfast. Kasumi looks at him and wonders...] KASUMI: [To Tenchi] Pardon me for asking, but why aren't you out there with Ranma and his father? TENCHI: [BOY] Well, Kasumi, once I 'convinced' Uncle Genma that I needed time to practice my swordplay, we 'decided' to set one day a week where I could do just that... [He is interrupted by a loud splash (which causes him to wince) and loud and uproarious laughter from Genma.] GENMA: [Laughing] You're getting sloppy Ranma! [Genma barely finished when he's hit with a splash of water and a metal washtub in the face.] RANMA: [GIRL, mocking tone] Now WHO'S sloppy! [Ranma is answered by the metal tub slamming into her head being held by an enraged panda. Everyone who witnessed this has a shocked expression on their face (except Kasumi, of course). Tenchi just shakes his head in deference to the Saotome's "enthusiasm."] KASUMI: [Seeing that Genma is a panda] Oh, my. I do believe that Mr. Saotome is going to want something else for breakfast... [She then pulls a tray of bamboo shoots out of nowhere and slams it on the table.] ******************* [Later that morning, sounds can be heard outside the Tendo home...sounds that denote children heading off to school. Inside the Tendo home another sound can be heard...] RANMA: [BOY, Yelling] SCHOOL? Why the heck do I have to go to school? [Genma, Ranma and Tenchi are walking down the walkway in front of the living room.] GENMA: Well, we are going to be staying here awhile... TENCHI: [BOY] C'mon, Ranma. Going to school is not going to kill you. RANMA: [BOY] Says you, Tenchi! You've always wanted to go to whatever school Pop enrolled us in. Me, on the other hand... TENCHI: [BOY, interrupts] ...Would always be held back if not for the fact that Uncle Genma always insisted that I help you with your homework. [Ranma facefaults as Tenchi nonchalantly walks away. Recovering quickly, he takes his frustration out on Genma and kicks him into the pond. At that time, Nabiki, dressed for school, walks into the hall.] NABIKI: [Amused tone] Good morning! You'll be going to the same school as Akane and me. See you later! [She waves and walks quickly away.] AKANE: [Catches up to Nabiki, dressed for school] Hey, Nabiki! Wait up! NABIKI: Where do you think you're going, young lady? AKANE: What? I'm going to sch... NABIKI: Not without your fiancé you're not. AKANE: WHAT? NABIKI: Ranma IS your fiancé, Akane. You should walk him to school. AKANE: But, Nabiki, that's not fair! NABIKI: Who said life was? [Points towards Ranma] Now go! [Akane reluctantly walks up to Ranma (who has been listening to the conversation with some trepidation) and with a somewhat angry glare...] AKANE: [A little angry] Well, just don't stand there! We've got to get moving! I'll just go by myself... RANMA: [BOY, a little irritated] That's fine with me! Maybe I'm not ready to go... [as he says this a school bag comes flying into his face.] TENCHI: [BOY] Stop fooling around, Ranma! Let's get going or we'll be late! [As he says this, he gives Akane an angry glare as it's her fault that they are going to be late.] [Akane looks like she is about ready to explode while Ranma gets the bag out of his face. Giving an audible "Humph!" Akane leaves the house causing Ranma and Tenchi to run and catch up to her.] ******************* [Minutes later, Akane is walking in the street next to one of the many canals that crisscross Nerima. Atop the fence lining the canal, Ranma and Tenchi are walking the length of it with apparent ease. All three have scowls on their faces.] AKANE: [Irritation in her voice] I'd like you two to just remember this: we're strangers here. I don't want you to hang around me at school. RANMA: [BOY, irritation in his voice] Believe me, I wouldn't. TENCHI: [BOY, also irritated] Why would I WANT to? RANMA: [BOY, still irritated] It's not as if I'D want to hang around a macho tomboy like you... [Akane reacts with start and before she can fling her book bag at Ranma, Genma comes running atop the fence. He knocks Tenchi onto the street as he passes him, and then whacks Ranma upside the head.] RANMA: [BOY, angry] HEY! What'd you do that for, you old man? GENMA: [Yelling] Ranma! How many times do I have to tell you that you can't be choosey about women! I've told you a thousand times... [Akane just stands there wondering what is going on, while Tenchi is recovering from being knocked to the street (and in-between curses is contemplating whether or not to jump up and kick Genma into the canal), when suddenly, Ranma ducks and with a swipe of his foot, trips Genma and sends him plummeting into the canal.] RANMA: [BOY, mocking tone] What's the matter, Pop? Going to lecture me 'bout something? [This gets a chuckle out of Tenchi, when suddenly, Genma (as panda) leaps out of the canal onto the fence. He then attacks Ranma, who dodges every blow, and before he can attack again, Ranma leaps gracefully off the fence onto the street below. Ranma begins to comment about the panda's attack, when SPLASH! He, I mean she, is hit with water being tossed out of a ladle by a little old lady trying to keep the dust down.] ******************* [Minutes later, in search of hot water, Akane leads Tenchi and Ranma-chan into Dr. Tofu's clinic. Ranma-chan follows Akane into the ward room while Tenchi stays in the waiting room. Sitting down, Tenchi glances around the room and in a fit of boredom, picks up a random magazine. Glancing at the title, he is about to put it down, when he sees a familiar name on the cover.] TENCHI: [BOY, thinks] [The magazine is called 'Architecture Today' and the name on the cover is Nobuyuki Masaki. He was about to read the article in question, when he hears a scream coming from inside the clinic. Dropping the magazine, he rushes down the hallway and sees Ranma-chan hanging on a door looking like she has seen a ghost. Stepping into the doorway he sees a man holding a skeleton.] DR. TOFU: [Amused voice] Don't worry, she won't bite! Hello, and good morning! [Indicates skeleton] This is Betty, my skeleton. Nice complexion, don't you think? [Ranma-chan is still hanging on the door in shock, while Tenchi is puzzled about why she would be scared anyway when...] AKANE: [From a distance as she gets closer] Ranma, here's your hot water... [She slams the door on Ranma-chan and an audible crash can be heard in the hallway.] Oh! Dr. Tofu! Good Morning! DR. TOFU: And good morning to you, Akane! [The door swings open and we see Ranma-chan with hurt fingers and Tenchi plastered against the back wall with a pained expression on his face.] DR. TOFU: I haven't seen you around here lately. You haven't had any new injuries that you haven't told me about, have you? AKANE: [Slightly embarrassed] No, sir. Lately, I haven't been doing anything that would actually hurt me... [Akane just stands there and looks demurely at the doctor while Ranma-chan figures out that just maybe that there is more to this than meets the eye.] RANMA: [GIRL, looks behind her] Tenchi? What are you doing there? We have to get to school, don't you know? [pause] Uh, Tenchi? [another pause, she waves her hand in front of Tenchi's face] You okay? TENCHI: [BOY, low voice] Ouch. ******************* [A little later, the trio is moving at a good clip through the streets of Nerima.] RANMA: [BOY, huffing] So, is Dr. Tofu a martial artist? AKANE: [Also huffing] Yes, how could you tell? RANMA: [BOY, huffing] It was the way he managed to sneak up on me. I didn't even know he was there until it was too late. TENCHI: [BOY, huffing] So THAT explains it! RANMA: [BOY, huffing] Explains what? TENCHI: [BOY, huffing, sweatdrop] Nothing. AKANE: [huffing] Yes, he's very good. He's a real strong martial artist as well as a excellent doctor. [They are approaching the school] Ever since I was little, he has helped me whenever I got injured. [They are getting nearer to Furinkan High School.] RANMA: [BOY, huffing] That's funny, Akane... [Tenchi looks at Ranma with a puzzled look.] ...I thought that you HATED men. [They get even closer to the school, the gates can be clearly seen in the distance.] AKANE: [huffing] No... [anger growing] I HATE BOYS! [As they approached the school gates, all of a sudden, a mass of humanity surges forward with one thing on its male mind: date Akane Tendo. Thus, wave after wave of hormonally driven boys (representing the various sports clubs of the school) dashes towards Akane with shouts of "I love you, Akane!" and "Please go out with me!" Chanting her mantra of "hate boys", Akane tears into the oncoming crowd.] RANMA: [BOY, surprised] Wha? TENCHI: [BOY, also surprised] What in the world? [Akane is a tornado personified. She deftly evades most of the attacks and strikes her attackers knocking a lot of them out with only one blow. During all of this action, Ranma and Tenchi leap up and squat upon the wall bordering the school. Here they can get a better look at the carnage that is in progress. Ranma was impressed, while Tenchi could actually start to feel some sympathy for Akane.] NABIKI: [In school, looking out upon the fight, sees Ranma and Tenchi.] Hey, you two! Quit gawking like a couple of tourists and get to class or you both will be late! RANMA: [BOY] But, what about...? [As he says this, a body slams up against the wall near him.] NABIKI: Don't worry about Akane. This happens every morning. She really does know what she's doing. [Tenchi just stares in shock at that pronouncement and just maybe his opinion of her changes somewhat. Ranma just keeps staring at the action below (its starting to wind down as there are no new victims for Akane to trash) and is impressed even more. The fracas is over as the school yard is just littered with injured students. Akane, breathing heavily from her exertion, fixes her appearance before she enters the school.] AKANE: [catching her breath] Honestly, don't they even have a clue? I would think that they would have FINALLY gotten the message... [She is interrupted by a single red rose being thrown in her direction. Catching it out of reflex, she only realizes until it is too late, who actually threw it which results in a "why, me?" look upon her face.] TATEWAKI KUNO: [As he walks out into the open] A rose by any other name would not smell so sweet. [The sound of thunder fills the air as a storm front approaches] These persons whose skills are so lacking... [indicating the fallen students] ...truly are such a boorish lot. All they wanted to do was to enjoy your company should they happen to defeat you in combat. What fools these mortals be! TENCHI: [BOY, aside to Ranma] Who the heck is this joker anyway? [Akane, who has had enough of this, starts to move away from Kuno.] AKANE: [frustration in her voice] Kuno, would you please... KUNO: [He moves to block her] Oh, her demeanor is small, but her prowess is great! [More thunder in the distance as it gets closer] Would thou perhaps spar with me? [Ranma picks this time to jump down next to Akane. Tenchi follows and lands next to Ranma.] RANMA: [BOY] Why didn't you tell me that you were so popular with the guys? AKANE: I didn't. Now stay out of this or you're going to get hurt. RANMA: [BOY, confused] Huh? [Tenchi gives Akane a most interesting puzzled look at that comment of hers.] KUNO: You two there! [Indicates Ranma and Tenchi] Aren't you being a little TOO familiar with Akane? TENCHI: [BOY, puzzled expression] Who, me? RANMA: [BOY] Yeah, so? AKANE: [Irritation showing] "Yeah, so" what, Ranma? KUNO: [Angry, having just put two and two together (and got forty-two)] Just who do you think you are? Now, tell me how is it that you know Akane? [Indicates Ranma with his bokken.] [Before Ranma can respond, Kuno makes this proclamation:] KUNO: Isn't it custom to give one's own name first? Then I shall give mine! I am the undefeated captain of the Furinkan Kendo Club, a rising new star in the world of kendo, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High! [At that pronouncement, lightning lights the sky] Tatewaki Kuno, age 17. [Ranma just stands there, stupefied by Kuno's speech while Tenchi has his head in his hands thinking 'And here I thought Sailor Moon's speeches were bad!' A schoolmate of Nabiki's makes the comment that wasn't he going by the name of 'Shooting Star' just a while ago?] RANMA: [BOY, stuttering] Well...me and my cousin here are staying at the Tendo dojo for now... KUNO: [Interrupts] STAYING AT THE TENDOS?? Under the SAME ROOF AS AKANE? [Enraged, Kuno rushes Ranma and Tenchi swinging his bokken and splitting the pair of them up. Ranma leaps backward while Tenchi leaps to his right. Kuno focuses on Ranma who answers his challenge...] RANMA: [BOY, during his leap] I'm Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts... [throws his schoolbag to Akane] ...and I accept your challenge! [As the two fighters ready themselves for the coming conflict, the sky once again echoes with thunder as the rain clouds get ever closer. Tenchi, not wanting to get wet, and seeing that this is Ranma's fight, starts edging towards the school's front entrance and the protection of its overhang while keeping his eyes on Ranma and Kuno. While above, students gather at the windows to watch this spectacle of somebody actually fighting Kuno!] KUNO: The vengeance of the heavens is slow but sure. [Long pause] So, cretin, you've been hounding Akane, eh? [During this tirade, Tenchi had just one thought: 'He sure does like to hear himself talk.'] KUNO: Well, I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall render my judgment upon thee... RANMA: [BOY, outraged] HOUNDING? Who's hounding anybody? AKANE: He and his cousin are guests of my family... KUNO: [shouting] SILENCE FOOL!! [He then raises his bokken and charges Ranma. Ranma jumps out of the way while Kuno's strike splits the wall.] KUNO: [thinks] [Kuno looks to his left and with a quick strike, cuts down the tree near him. Ranma, on the rebound from his jump, easily evades this strike. Landing on the ground, he rushes Kuno...] RANMA: [BOY, as he dodges Kuno's bokken thrusts] Now... [dodge] ...let me... [dodge] ...get one thing... [dodge] ...perfectly clear! [He's now inside of Kuno's guard.] [As Tenchi gets closer to the overhang, the clouds get even more menacing. He also thinks that he heard Akane say something about Ranma's speed.] RANMA: [BOY, forcing Kuno to back away] Akane means NOTHING to me! [Leaps away from Kuno] If you want a girl that's more likely to kill you than kiss you, then you can have her! KUNO: [Angry] I will not have you talk that way about Akane! [Charges Ranma] AKANE: [Outraged at Ranma's comment] Why you...! [She throws Ranma's schoolbag at him] RANMA: [BOY, outraged, glances at Akane] HEY! Who's side are you on? [He looks forward again and then quickly leaps up evading Kuno's bokken thrust which slices his schoolbag in two. At this point, the rain begins to fall. Tenchi makes a mad dash, and gets under cover before his curse could activate. Looking back to the fight, he could see through the rain the following actions happen: Ranma's arc carries him down towards Kuno. A panda is running toward the school. Ranma reaches out with his hand. A running panda carrying a kettle gets closer to the school. Kuno thrusts his bokken at Ranma. A running panda carrying a kettle enters the school grounds. Ranma touches Kuno's forehead. Kuno touches Ranma's neck. A running panda grabs Ranma out of the air and knocks Kuno away. Tenchi is quite surprised that Akane is just standing there in the rain next to a fallen and dazed Kuno, but with a running panda approaching him, he just has time to hold the door open and follow it inside.] ******************* [Later, in a conveniently empty PE equipment storage room, we find a concerned Tenchi, a soaked panda, and a female Ranma.] RANMA: [GIRL, frustrated] Blast it, Tenchi! If it hadn't rained, I would've nailed that... TENCHI: [BOY, unimpressed] You don't say. AKANE: I'm not too sure of that Ranma. [Everyone turns and sees that Akane has opened the window and has stepped out of the rain and into the room.] RANMA: [GIRL, surprised (a little)] What do you mean? AKANE: [Matter-of-factly] I mean: your throat. [Ranma-chan feels her throat and finds the bruise. Tenchi gets a close look and is slightly impressed at Kuno's technique.] RANMA: [GIRL, disbelief in voice] A bruise? He barely even touched me... AKANE: If he did, you'd be breathing through your neck now. [The panda pours some hot water on Ranma reversing the curse.] AKANE: Looks like it was a pretty even match, huh? RANMA: [BOY] Oh, I don't know about that... [Dries himself off] TENCHI: [BOY] I saw it, Ranma. It was. ******************* [Outside Furinkan, the rain has at last ended. Inside, another storm is brewing... Inside his classroom, Kuno is intently peering into a hand mirror he had borrowed. Nabiki is looking on, quite interested.] NABIKI: You mean that you didn't even feel him doing that to you? KUNO: [Looking at his forehead, surprisingly not impressed (for him)] And here I thought that Ranma Saotome was good when he can't even spell right. [referring to the "Kuno no baka" written on his forehead] [He and Nabiki go up to the blackboard and he proceeds to write his name in elegant kanji.] KUNO: [With determination] THIS is how my name is written... NABIKI: [She also writes his name, but with an addition that changes the meaning completely] I really think that you mean THIS... KUNO: [Looks at what Nabiki wrote and is upset] I hope you know that I really DESPISE you. NABIKI: [Nonchalantly] I didn't knew YOU cared... ******************* [Inside another classroom, the students within are being introduced to their new classmates, Ranma and Tenchi.] TEACHER: Class, I would like you to welcome two new students, Ranma Saotome and Tenchi Masaki. [Indicates the pair standing in front of the class.] I understand that they have just returned from a trip to China, but that doesn't excuse them and Akane Tendo from being late. So go stand in the hall. [Minutes later, the trio are standing in the hall each holding a bucket of water. Akane, standing between Ranma (on her right) and Tenchi (on her left) is silently fuming.] AKANE: [Angry, low voice] Ranma, this is your fault. RANMA: [BOY, raises voice] MY fault? [Akane shushes him. low voice] How could it be my fault? It was your stupid fight. AKANE: [low voice] Yes, but every morning I manage to finish my fight and get to class on time, unlike this morning. TENCHI: [BOY, low voice] So, Akane, what is this about anyway? AKANE: [low voice] If you couldn't figure it out at the start, Kuno has this crazy idea that I would want to go out on a date with him. So, at the beginning of the semester, he got up and made this stupid speech. In his usual "spout lots of flowery language and take forever to get to the point," he said that for anyone else to date me, they first had to defeat me in combat. [Both Ranma and Tenchi just stand there with shocked expressions on their faces... ...Meanwhile, the other storm has just formed...] KUNO: [standing, outraged, shouting] FIANCE? HE'S...HER FIANCE? [Nabiki just stares at the standing kendoist and wonders if he's going to burst a blood vessel or something.] NABIKI: That's right. My father and his father had this scheme cooked up for years, now. The first I heard about it was yesterday before Ranma, his cousin and father arrived. KUNO: [still standing, still outraged, still shouting] ARRGH! NOT RANMA! [Kuno is interrupted in his ranting by an eraser impacting upon his head.] TEACHER: Kuno! Go stand in the hall! [Back in the hall, Ranma and Tenchi are just starting to react to the situation concerning Akane and Kuno.] TENCHI: [BOY, low voice] Akane, you actually have been fighting Kuno every morning this past semester? AKANE: [low voice] Yes. And for some reason I can't fathom, I always win. RANMA: [BOY, low voice] Well, a lot of times when a guy fights a girl... TENCHI: [BOY, exasperated, thinks] RANMA: [BOY, low voice] ...he lets up enough to let her win. [Tenchi snorts as if he's trying to hold back a chuckle. Ranma glares at him while Akane looks at him with a curious glance.] AKANE: [looks back to Ranma, low voice] Don't you dare underestimate me, Ranma. Why don't you try fighting me for REAL, sometime? RANMA: [BOY] Violent, or not, I don't fight girls. Not even you, Akane. TENCHI: [BOY] Not this again! [Akane gives him a curious look] Ranma, how many times has this attitude of yours have gotten us into trouble? RANMA: [BOY] 'This attitude' is who I am, Tenchi! No matter who it is, I don't fight girls! TENCHI: [BOY] Akane, remind me later to tell you about how many girl martial artists we came across on our journey, and how many of them I had to fight because of Ranma's reluctance to do so. AKANE: [suddenly interested] So, you DO fight girls? TENCHI: [BOY] Not as such. It all depends on the situation. [This gets Akane to thinking...] AKANE: [wry smile] Ranma, you said that you won't fight girls, right? RANMA: [BOY, confused] Yeah. What's your point? AKANE: [jostles her bucket of water] So, what if YOU were a girl? RANMA: [BOY, raises voice] Don't you DARE...! [moves away from Akane] [Akane stops when, down the corridor, she sees Kuno round the corner carrying two buckets. Ranma and Tenchi notice him too and are uneasy about his rapid progress toward them.] AKANE: [thinks] KUNO: [running towards the trio] Never! Never will I allow this travesty to move forward! [As he approaches the trio, he begins to maneuver his two buckets on his bokken twirling them like so many cloth streamers. With a cry, he flings them at Ranma who leaps up in terror narrowly avoiding getting splashed, while Akane and Tenchi jump to the other side of the hallway. Landing without getting any of the spilt water on himself, Ranma looks at Kuno with a "why are you doing this" expression.] KUNO: [expressing his anger] Ranma Saotome! I will not allow this engagement to continue! [readies his bokken for an attack] If it takes the last of my strength, this marriage to Akane Tendo will not happen! [At that pronouncement the classroom windows next to the hallway burst open as the students within jammed into them expressing their astonishment at what Kuno said.] RANMA: [BOY, embarrassed] Who said that we're going to get married? AKANE: [also embarrassed, moves next to Ranma] It's not OUR choice! Our fathers just dropped this on us yesterday! [While Ranma is distracted, Kuno charges at him. But, Ranma is not surprised, and in two swift moves bumps Akane out of the way and dodges Kuno's bokken strike. Throwing his buckets at Kuno, Ranma turns and dashes down the hallway.] RANMA: [BOY] Kuno, this isn't the place for a fight, follow me! KUNO: That I shall! [and does] [As the two boys dash down the hall, Tenchi looks at Akane, drops his buckets and follows them. After standing there for a minute, Akane slams her buckets on the floor.] AKANE: [angry] They HAVE got to be kidding me! [she runs down the hall.] [After Akane leaves, all the students in the class rush out the door and in mass of arms and legs, follows her down the hall. Running down the hallway, Ranma spies a way out.] RANMA: [BOY, to Kuno] Here's a nice shortcut... [he leaps upon the frame of an open window.] ...follow me! [he jumps out.] KUNO: [catching up] That I shall! [and does.] [Tenchi reaches the window and stops and stares. Akane and the rest of the students arrive seconds later.] TENCHI: [BOY, shouts out window] You're an idiot, Ranma! AKANE: Oh, my! It's so high! A STUDENT: [surprised] Wow! I can't believe they jumped out three stories up! ANOTHER STUDENT: It's a good thing that the swimming pool is there to break their fall! TENCHI: [BOY, surprised] WHAT? [he just now sees the pool.] Oh, no! AKANE: [shouts] Ranma! To Be Continued... Next Up: Love blooms in the air... +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ Nothing new to add here. ;) Robert Duncan Saotome Tenchi @ aol.com "According to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle, chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized." --Terry Pratchett "Interesting Times" "I want to decide who lives and who dies." --Crow T. Robot Mystery Science Theater 3000 "How can such a cute girl be so awful!" -Ryoko "I'll show you a thing called a 'mirror' later..." -Ayeka -in reference to Minagi --Hitoshi Okuda "No Need For Tenchi!" Viz Graphic Novel #1 first finished: 1/29/2001 updated and format change: 1/30/2001 Revised and new text version created: 2/9/2001