TALES OF SCIMITAR By Ksawarrior. Part 2: Gods, goddesses and Zoanoids! Oh my! Disclaimer: I apologize to the creators of the characters used in this fic. I swear I made no money off of them. Bright lights. Flashes of energy. And suddenly, _WHAM!_ Scimitar arrived in Heaven. "What a trip." he groaned. "You have a problem with the way I travel?" Urd asked with a grin. "Nah. I just hope I get my own way to go places." He looked around at the city. *Its a goddamn Utopia!* Buildings bathed in holy light, streets filled with people with marks similar to Urd's. "Step this way." Urd pointed him to a huge building. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "My lord, I'm not entirely sure that..." "Skuld, you shouldn't worry. I'm sure he won't say something stupid." *Yeah, right* Skuld was against the whole idea of letting Scimitar see Kami-sama. Then, he walked in the door. Scimitar's face was in what you could call, 'shock'. He looked around, and... "SO WHERE THE HELL IS HE!?" Skuld grew a sweatdrop as he looked in any direction. "I know he's God and all, but can't he at least show up to say hi?" "I'm right here." Scimitar began to get a nervous twitch as he looked toward the man who wore a business suit, seating in the big chair. "Ah, um, so you're..." he began. "Thats right." Scimitar stared hard at Kami-sama, then.... "I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY!" Skuld did a facefall. *I can't believe how stupid he is* Kami-sama grinned. "You may stand up now, Scimitar." "Um, about the yelling earlier..." he stammered. *Nice move, ace. Well, at least I'll go down in history as the guy who insulted God.* "No you won't." Kami-sama replied. "How the... Wait, you mean you aren't angry?" "Not at all." Scimitar took a deep breath, and... "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Skuld pulled out her mallet. "Please, can I hit him?" "Hey! You!" Scimitar growled. "It would have helped if you told me about Garlic Jr.!" "You're the one who missed the blatant clue!" "What clue!?" "How many dead zones do you know of?!" Kami-sama stepped in just as mallet and ki-sword were about to clash. "Anyway, as a reward for the job well done..." "Well done!? He almost got Tenchi and the others killed!!" One stare from Kami-sama shut her up. "Like I was saying, now you can ask Skuld to grant you a wish." Scimitar couldn't believe it. "Any wish?" "So long as its not evil." "Oh. One question, what should I call you?" "Hmm?" Kami-sama looked at him. "Well, you have a list of names going from Allah to Zeus." "Ah. You may call me what ever you want." "Really?" he said with a grin. "Fine then, Oyaji-sama." _BAM!_ Skuld removed her mallet from Scimitar's head. "Show some respect! How dare you call him that?!" Scimitar got up and began to glow a battle aura. "I wish I was just half a god so I could..." Realisation sank in. "Uh oh." Suddenly a bright light shot out of Skuld's forehead. Winds began to build up. Objects began to float. And when it stopped, she said, "Wish accepted!?" Kami-sama grinned. "I guess you have 3 half-sisters now, Scimitar." "Nani?" Scimitar did not like where this was going. "Scimitar, I know dub thee a demigod, charged with protection of the Aniverse. I also make you half-brother to the Norns." Scimitar did the only thing he could... _THUMP_ he fainted. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Oh man! What a weird dream* Scimitar began to rise from where he was lying down. And he saw a beautiful girl, old enough to be in college. She had three marks on her head, and a gentle, caring aura around her. "You must be Belldandy." he said. "Why, yes, I am." she answered with a smile that you couldn't say 'no' to. "Arigato, for the assist with Ryoko." "You're quite welcome. After all, we're family now, right?" *Oh yeah. That* "Bell-chan, I'm home." a voice cried from the hall. "I take it that's Keiichi." Scimitar said as the incredibly short college student walked in. "Um, Bell-chan," Keiichi asked nervously, "who is that?" he pointed at Scimitar. "Why, he is our half-brother." She turned to Scimitar with a look that said, 'introduce yourself'. "Hai, Oneesama." He got up. "I am Scimitar, nice to meet you." Then a sweatdrop grew on his head. Keiichi was a full foot shorter than he was. *Talk about your stunted growth.* "Um, hi. Bell-chan, I was wondering about that door that wasn't there before?" Belldandy giggled (how could anyone dislike her?) and said, "That leads to our new neighbors' house." Scimitar ran out of the room to the hall. *If I remember correctly, there's no living soul anywhere near this temple. So who the heck is...* The door, which he was now staring at, had a glass window on it, with two red marks near the sides. "Oh no." he said, just before Skuld walked out talking with Washu about the newer forms of space travel, while Sasami walked over to the kitchen after asking Belldandy if she could borrow some sugar. Keiichi and Scimitar had identical shocked looks. "Excuse me a minute." Scimitar said, before walking into the bathroom. "You may want to cover your ears." Urd warned Sasami. From the bathroom, you could hear Scimitar curse in volumes only capable at a heavy metal concert. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me, Oyaji-sama no baka!" Scimitar screamed into the phone, followed by some lightening bolts hitting him. "Oh, so you think just because he and I work well together, you can make him my partner, without asking me?" _CRASH!_ "Don't worry, I'll replace it." he said to Keiichi as bits of phone fell from the wall. He took a look at himself in the mirror. *Not so different being a demigod. Other than the marks of course.* His cheeks had these small blue triangles, and on his forehead, there was a blue mark that looked like a scimitar. Good thing his cap covered it. "You shouldn't be angry with him." Urd said. "Oh, yeah, that would just hurt his feelings sooooo much." Scimitar's voice dripped with sarcasm. Then a lightening bolt hit him square on the head. "Actually, it just gives him more reason to do that." Urd replied with a grin. Just then Tenchi walked in. "Where'd this come from?" "Hey, Tenchi." Scimitar said. "Scimitar? Why are you here?" "This is my home." "Oh. Why is it connected to my house?" "Because now you're partners!" Scimitar and Tenchi jumped when Washu did that. Meanwhile: "Now, only Tenchi is allowed to work with Scimitar." Belldandy explained to Tenchi's female friends. "Why can't we go?!" Ryoko grabbed Belldandy by her shirt. _BAM!_ That earned her an elbow from Scimitar and a mallet from Skuld. "What the hell was that for?!" she roared. Suddenly, Urd ran in with a celphone. "Its for you." she gave it to Scimitar. "Hi, Oyaji-sama, what's up? Oh. Oh. Oh! Me and my," he looked over as Ryoko and Ayeka were having a tug-o-Tenchi match, "partner will be there." He grabbed Tenchi and dragged him outside. "What are you doing?" Tenchi asked. "Trying to get you to help me save Tokyo." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman was held in the air as a creature's claws began to tear through her dress. The thing was _huge_ and was green. It had two horns, one on its forehead, one on its chin. _ZWISH!_ A flash of light, and a young man was holding the woman. He wore a black leather jacket, black baseball cap, jeans, and a cocky look. He also was holding the creature's arm. "You should run." he said to the woman. She took his advice. Scimitar turned back to the one-armed beast. "Who the fuck are you!?" it snarled. "Me, Scimitar. You, Gregore." he replied with a grin. The Zoanoid lunged... _CRACK!_ and had its head ripped off. Tenchi, on the other hand, was slashing through several Zoanoids with the Light Hawk Sword. "Care to explain what these things are?" he asked through clenched teeth. "OOKAMI RECCA HA!" Scimitar blasted several Zoanoids to hell, before saying, "Go to your local anime shop, ask for the Guyver." *Great.* Tenchi sighed. *We're dealing with cartoon characters* "I wouldn't talk if I were you." Scimitar said with a grin as he finished off the last of the Zoanoids. "I suggest we leave, before the cops ask us about these, _things_." "Good thing they disolve when they die." Scimitar replied as he grabbed Tenchi and introduced him to roof-hopping. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Now, you guys *hic* did a fine job." Ryoko said after her 15th cup of saki. "I agree with her *hic* there." Urd added before her 31st. Scimitar looked around at his surroundings. *I always thought if I die, I would not be so happy.* He looked over his new family and friends: Keiichi was having a conversation with Tenchi about the troubles of living with women that have power, Washu and Skuld were planning some big experiment, Urd and Ryoko were drunk as a, well, really drunk thing. Sasami and Belldandy were serving up a victory dinner for him and Tenchi. Everyone was so happy. Then Noboyuki, Tenchi's hentai father, ran in the door. "I have great news. Tenchi, Scimitar, you're being allowed to go to high school." "NANI!?!?!" Tenchi and Scimitar screamed out loud. "A guy on the phone, said he was Scimitar's oyaji," he paused as Scimitar did a facefall. "Anyways, this guy said that he got both you and Tenchi in a good school." Tenchi sighed. "I'm afraid to ask, but, which school?" "He said it was called Furinkan High." Scimitar took a deep breath and... "OOOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Lightening bolts couldn't stay away from that house. Preview: Scimitar: Great. Now I'm in school in a place where weapons are allowed. Tenchi: So what's this place like? Skuld: Scimitar no baka! Kuno: Greetings. I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High! Sasami: Next time on Tales of Scimitar, "Welcome to Furinkan. Hope you survive." Author's notes: Well, a lot of you may be wondering, WHY THE HELL DID I TEAM TENCHI AND SCIMITAR UP!?!? Well, mostly for its comedic value. Also, this is leading to a bigger plot, so be patient.