The In-Laws

"I think you're past the worst of it now," Dr. Tofu said. Ryoko turned
toward him, and grimaced. She was bundled up in a blanket, damp from sweat,
despite her awareness that the shivering wasn't from being cold. "I think
the sweating has stopped. How do you feel?"
"A lot better," Ryoko admitted. "The headache is down enough that I can
feel the cut in my side and all the bruises again." Ranma snorted, while
the doctor just laughed at the sarcasm.
"Oh my, I'm afraid we can't do much but give a salve for your injuries
there," Kasumi said.
"How do your injuries feel?" Dr. Tofu asked.
"She gave me a good work over," Ryoko admitted angrily after a moment. Nagi
had toyed with her, tossing her around as if she were a child. At the same
time ripping out Ryoko's heart with her words. "But the bruises will be
gone in a few days."
"What about that hole in your side?" Ranma asked, not moving from his lotus
position on the floor.
"Careful," she purred. "You sound dangerously close to being concerned
about me." Ryoko casually tossed the comment out, producing teasing tone
and phrase almost mechanically.
Ranma narrowed his eyes, noticing her tone, and watched at her closely for
a moment, trying to decide if she was hallucinating again. He didn't notice
any hint of the confusion that had accompanied her face when she had been
hallucinating earlier. And she wasn't watching him either, she just didn't
seem to care what his reaction was.
"I have to be," Ranma shrugged, watching her. Then he continued in an
accusatory tone. "We're married, remember." Ryoko glared at him, adding a
small growl for effect.
"Now, now," Kasumi waggled her finger. "You should not tease her right
now."
"Miao!" Ryo-Ohki agreed from behind the martial artist. The cabbit nodded
in satisfaction as Ranma jumped across the room.
"Thanks Ryo-Ohki," Ryoko smirked.
"Would you quit that?" Ranma shouted.
"You pretty much asked for that, Ranma," Dr. Tofu said, choking down a
chuckle.
"Yeah, whatever," Ranma answered back. Kasumi sighed in frustration while
Dr. Tofu shook his head. ~Well she noticed at least.~
"So am I clear to go?" Ryoko asked. ~One matchmaker is better than two.~
"You should be fine," Dr. Tofu said.
"But perhaps you wouldn't mind staying for dinner," Kasumi asked. "We would
be glad for some company." Ranma watched the space pirate shift
uncomfortably.
"Maybe next time, Kasumi," Ranma said. "I'm sure my mom has something
planned, and might as well let her have some fun while this lasts."
"Of course," Kasumi smiled, wondering if Ranma noticed the slip. "Next time
then." Judging by Ryoko's glare she definitely had.
*******************************************************
"You had to say 'next time'," Ryoko growled a minute or two away from the
Ono household. She was walking slowly, with Ranma close to her. The air was
cooling slightly as afternoon gave way to evening. The pirate noticed,
irritably, a few interested faces as they past by.
"What?" Ranma asked, completely unaware of what was wrong.
"Now they're thinking we're getting closer!" Ryoko snapped. "How dense can
you be?"
"Hey, you still have that chi block, remember?" Ranma noted. "You ARE going
to be back there, and I'll probably be WITH you."
"That better come off soon," Ryoko snapped in response, ignoring the logic.
"The doc will take it off," Ranma said. "And you need to calm down."
"What do you mean _I_ need to calm down?" Ryoko demanded. She detected the
lecturing tone and started getting annoyed, who was he to tell her what to
do.
"You get mad, you get stupid," Ranma told her.
"What do you know about it?" Ryoko asked. "It seems to me that you're the
one flying off the handle all the time." Ranma stared at her and rolled his
eyes.
"You fight like this, and you'll lose," he snapped.
"Well, duh," Ryoko said. "I'm half way dead as it is! And don't take that
as an invitation to carry me, I can walk myself."
"I don't mean your body, baka!" Ranma snapped, though to tell the truth he
had been thinking about giving her a ride. For one thing she wasn't moving
very quickly and he was getting a tad impatient. "You've tried baiting me
to fight, you know how it works. Get im riled up and let them come at
you...."
"...and they don't know they've lost until it happens," Ryoko finished.
Then faced him suscipiciously. "That's a game you want to win you strike
fast and strike hard, if you just defend..."
"...you'll lose," Ranma agreed. "But you gotta make them open up and to do
that..."
"Oh that's simple," Ryoko smirked. "You just keep attacking until they make
a mistake."
"You're most open when attacking," Ranma protested. Then he smirked. "I
thought you said you weren't a martial artist."
"I'm not," Ryoko protested. A martial artist chooses to learn, I had to
learn. "And you CAN attack without being vulnerable."
As Ranma and Ryoko continued to argue the virtues of offensive versus
defensive fighting, they failed to notice as a young man in a blue hakama
appeared in the street as they turned a corner. The samurai scanned the air
quickly, looking confused.
"Hmm, I swear that the vile Saotome's voice was here just a moment ago," he
declared. "No doubt he sensed my righteous spirit and fled before my
approach. Now onward to the physician's home. If that is where he was, then
he shall have retreated back to cower behind the beauteous Akane's elder
sister."
*******************************************************
Genma-panda was pacing in an uneven stride, every once in awhile glancing
in the direction of his wife. The good thing about the panda form was that
he could voice aloud his thoughts without anyone else understanding him. Of
course, this was hampered by his habit of writing signs whether or not he
was talking to anybody or not. Which is how he found himself staring at an
irate silver-haired woman with yellow eyes suddenly.
"'I'll bet this Ryoko doesn't know the first thing about battle?'" the
woman read irritably. "What is this?" She rubbed her head and growled, she
was not in the mood for this.
"That's Oyaji," Ryoko looked about to ask a question. "He's cursed too."
*This is Ryoko?* the new sign asked. *She doesn't look to be in very good
shape.*
"I wonder why that is?" Ryoko narrowed her eyes at Ranma.
"Back off Oyaji," Ranma said, ignoring the glare. "And can you get out of
the way so we can get inside?" The panda glanced back inside to make sure
Nodoka hadn't seen them yet.
*Ranma, you should not distract yourself from the art with a sickly girl
like this,* the sign flipped around. *How are you going to train if you
have to spend all your time taking care of her.*
"I take care of myself," Ryoko said, then she smirked and leaned forward
seductively. "And I am much more than just a girl." Ranma blushed at
Ryoko's behavior, while Genma seemed to be enjoying the attention, until
someone cleared their throat behind him.
"Are you flirting with your daughter-in-law," another feminine voice asked
from behind the panda. Genma sweatdropped.
"Oh..I guess I'm just too much woman to ignore," Ryoko declared cutely.
Then her expression hardened and she walked past the suddenly very nervous
Genma. Nodoka noted the change in attitude, but pretended not to.
"Err...sorry about that Mom," Ranma said edging past his parents as well.
Nodoka looked down in curiousity as Ryo-Ohki hopped cheerfully past her.
"It is not your responsibility," she paused and glared at Genma. "I believe
it is his."
*It wasn't what it looked like,* Genma's sign declared desperately, before
being sliced in half by Nodoka's katana.
"Now can you at least try to be civil," Nodoka asked, half sheathing her
katana. Genma eyed the blade and then nodded furiously. "Good, then perhaps
you'd be good enough to change back to your human form for dinner."
*Yes, dear,* the newest sign said. The katana snapped back into its sheath.
******************************************************* "No, I'm sorry,
they've already left," Kasumi told the tall samurai wannabe standing
outside her door.
"It seems I am already too late to intercept the vile Saotome's cowardly
flight from my puissance in battle," Kuno turned to look at Kasumi again.
"I understand that he seeks to enslave yet another helpless damsel now. It
seems the spells he has placed on the pig-tailed girl and your sister are
not enough for his evil tastes."
The expression that crossed Kasumi's face in that half-moment revealed with
absolute certainity her relation to both Nabiki and Akane. Then it was gone
and Kasumi's normal sweet smile returned.
"I think they're taking a trip out of the city," Kasumi said. "Excuse me a
moment I'll get the location." Kuno tapped his foot impatiently until the
woman returned with a slip of paper. "Here you go, have a nice trip."
"My thanks for this information good Kasumi," Kuno didn't bother to bow,
instead he posed heroically. "And now I am off to punish the vile
Saotome!!" Kasumi sighed as she closed the door.
"So where did you send him?" Tofu asked his wife as she returned humming
happily.
"Oh he'll be having a quite interesting time," Kasumi said sweetly.
*******************************************************
Ryoko and Ranma glanced at each other once before making the final move to
the dinner table.
"You remember the plan?" Ranma asked.
"Do you?" Ryoko returned. Then they moved, and sat down, as far away from
each other as the table would allow. They then enacted their plan, full of
the combined deviousness and skill of both Ranma and Ryoko.
"We are NOT a couple," Ranma declared. Of course, no plan involving Ranma
has ever had much of a survival rate. Ryoko's own track record on plans was
nearly as spotty.
"Yeah, there is no way I'd be interested in that jerk," Ryoko hmphed. And
of course the "plan" to present a "stick together" and "tell them why it
won't work," had one minor drawback.
"As if you're any catch," Ranma replied. Neither of them would let an
insult slide.
"I could give you a list that would say otherwise," Ryoko hmphed and
smirked at the comment.
"That's part of what I'm talking about," Ranma snapped. "You don't see me
hitting on all the girls in sight."
"Jealousy is not a manly emotion, Ranma," Nodoka lectured. Ryoko blinked,
was Ranma really jealous of that display at the door?
"You shouldn't encourage this," Genma snorted before anyone else could
comment. "She has a tail for goodness sake." Ryoko looked confused, not
understanding the big deal about her tail. Nodoka merely sighed, while
Ranma favored his father with a glare. The next thing Genma knew he was
being dragged into away from the table and experiencing his own "hell's
cradle" technique.
"Panda no baka," Ranma muttered as he sat back down, within reach of Ryoko
this time. Neither of them noticed.
"I must apologize for my husband," Nodoka said. "He has a very bad learning
curve."
"So what is the thing about my tail anyway?" Ryoko asked in confusion.
"Some of you people act like you've never seen one before."
"Well, not on people," Nodoka noted politely. "Though considering Genma's
experiences he should be more accomodating."
"Not likely," Ranma muttered. "He never learns."
"Since the subject was brought up, however," Nodoka coughed. "Is
your...species....hmm.... compatible with human beings?" Ranma turned to
her with a beet red face.
"Mom..."
"I'm part human," Ryoko commented, not noticing that she was suddenly
arguing against a reason not to get married.
"Oh good," Nodoka smiled as she served out the food. She watched with some
surprise as Ranma and Ryoko's food vanished rapidly. Ryoko smirked as she
thought of something that would get this woman off her back.
"Yeah, the prison doc said I had the most unique mix of genetics he had
ever seen," Ryoko said honestly. Ranma facefaulted, considering that might
be going to far. "Never did explain what a tanar'ri was."
"Prison?" Nodoka repeated questionably. "You were in prison?"
"They tend to put space pirates there," She glared at the pretzeled Genma.
"So you're a criminal then?" Nodoka asked coolly, Ranma swallowed
nervously.
"That's right, the most wanted criminal Ryoko," she smirked. ~Now you can
give up on this match-making kick you got.~
"Well I hope you succeed in reforming yourself," Nodoka said calmly. Ryoko
and Ranma facefaulted. "But I'm certain such a background should provide a
very...interesting...married life." Ranma and Ryoko twitched at this
further introduction to life on planet Nodoka.
"I prepared your bedroom by the way."
"And where is that?" Ryoko asked, righting her self and turning back to the
food with a frustrated growl.
"Ranma's room," Nodoka said simply resulting in both Ranma and Ryoko nearly
choking on their food. "No argument."
*******************************************************
"That went well," Ranma said after the door was closed behind them.
"I'm not the one that gave in as soon as she touched her katana," Ryoko
noted.
"Don't worry," Ranma said. "I'll just sit in the corner, I don't sleep much
anyway." Ryoko sat on the bed and stared at him. "Are you going to sleep or
aren't you?"
"Yeah and let you try something while I'm out?" Ryoko hmphed. "No thank
you."
"I'm not going to try anything," Ranma said, sitting in a Lotus position
away from her and shaking his head.
"Yeah right," Ryoko hmphed and continued watching. She fell asleep within
twenty minutes.
*******************************************************
"Hmmm, hardly the place for a honeymoon," Kuno noted as he climbed the hill
to the first location on Kasumi Ono's list. "But an excellent location for
a vile sorcerer like Saotome. And now I shall finally defeat him and break
the spell that holds Akane Tendo in her enchanted slumber." He climbed to
the shrine up on top of the hill and ran inside shouting his challenge.
"COME OUT AND FACE ME SAOTOME!!! YOU VILE SORCEROUS DOG!! I COME FORTH WITH
RIGHTEOUS ANGER PREPARED TO LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR!!!" Kuno paused in his
loud pacing and ranting as a torch sprung to life revealing a very angry
looking young man in a purple vest. Standing next to him was slender woman
with long brown hair and dressed in a simple blue travelling outfit. In her
hand was a tightly gripped rug beater. To any other martial artist it would
have been obvious that they had just woken up, or else were engaged in some
act other than sleeping, but this was Kuno.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" the man asked coldly.
"This is the fool who keeps trying to dig up my sister's grave," the woman
noted in an equally cool voice.
"Who are you," Kuno demanded. "Some vile minion of that fiend Saotome? I
see that you too have enslaved a defenseless woman" Tarou and Natsume
narrowed their eyes.
"Vile MINION?" Tarou cracked his knuckles.
"DEFENSELESS woman?" Natumse adjusted the grip on her weapon.
*******************************************************
It was dark and cold, and she couldn't move. Tenchi was fighting Kagato,
with Ayeka as the prize. As Ryoko watched a cloaked figure walked past her
towards the battle.
"Tenchi!! Look out for Nagi!! Nagi's behind you!" The sounds just bounced
back to her, and Ryoko was aware that she was sealed in something. She
wanted to slam against it, but she couldn't move. She was frozen stiff and
unable to do more than watch as Nagi calmly snapped the bound Ayeka's neck
and start moving toward Tenchi.
"Tenchi!!" She couldn't even hear the scream this time, and everything
seemed frozen. She was cold, chilled to the bone. There was almost no other
sensation but that cold and the scene before her.
"Let me out!!! Let me out!! She's going to kill Tenchi!!" Ryoko watched as
Kagato finally fell, Tenchi aware that Nagi was a approaching behind him.
The bounty reared back her hand to send the whip out and...Ryoko woke up.
She tried to bolt to her feet and found something stopping her.
"Let me go, I have to..."
"Its a dream, you were having a dream," Ranma insisted, holding her back,
and deciding that if she were at her top health that he'd have pretty much
no chance to do so. Ryo-Ohki was also nearby miaoing at her worriedly, but
staying within Ranma's line of sight, since she knew Ranma wouldn't freak
as long as he knew the miaoing was coming from her.
"Let. Me. Go." Ryoko growled.
"You keep struggling, you'll hurt yourself, and it'll be that much longer
before you can take that whip-lady," Ranma reminded her. Ryoko stopped
struggling and slumped. Ranma uncomfortably continued to hold her as she
sat silent for a few minutes.
"Why is it so cold in here?" Ryoko asked suddenly.
"That's one of my techniques," Ranma said, suspecting she was just trying
to distract herself. "Why?"
"Please don't do that," Ryoko sighed. "I don't like the cold."
"Why not?" Ranma asked. "So its cold, what's the big deal."
"Why do you jump everytime Ryo-Ohki says something," Ryoko countered.
"Okay," Ranma decided after a moments thought. "I'll tell you if you tell
me."
"Deal," then she thought about something. "You can let go of me now."
"Oh, sorry," Ranma released her, backing off and sitting against the wall.
"You go first."
"Why me?" Ryoko demanded after turning around to face him.
"You're the one that wants me to stop using that technique around you."
"Yeah, whatever," Ryoko hmphed. "I had a faulty cryo tank, allright."
"What?"
"The Galaxy Police prisons use cryogenic freezing to keep prisoner's in
check," Ryoko said. "Its supposed to put you to sleep too, so you don't go
insane while stuck inside." Ranma felt like asking why she was in prison,
but kept his tongue. "Mine didn't do that. I was awake and frozen for a few
months before someone noticed and fixed it. The only good thing is that,
when certain people found out about it, I ended up only spending a few more
months in prison." Ryoko didn't bother to mention that she sometimes
suspected Ayeka of being "certain people," didn't want to think about it.
"Okay," Ranma said, remembering a night spent paralyzed in the cold air and
extending that for months. "I'll try not to use the Soul of Ice around
you."
"Now you," Ryoko replied. "Why does Ryo-Ohki scare you?"
"She sounds like a c..c..cat," Ranma said, standing up and walking to the
small desk his mother had insisted on getting for him. He pulled out a slim
notebook and handed it to Ryoko. "Side effect of some training I had as a
kid, here it is."
~Gah...good thing I didn't say I was also part nekojin,~ Ryoko said after
reading the manual. "Does this have anything to do with why that Ukyou
person said to run if you started 'meowing.'?"
"Yes," Ranma admitted reluctantly. "I like freak out when I'm around too
many c..c..c..cats. And when that happens I'm more powerful and dangerous
than I am most of the time."
"Oh...thanks for the warning," the comment was moderately accusatory. It
almost spoke "why didn't you tell me about this before?" ~Why does he keep
the manual?~
"Miao?" Ryo-ohki said confused, Ranma gritted his teeth
"It's late," Ranma said, leaning against a wall. "We should get some
sleep."
"Yeah, just don't do that any more," Ryoko agreed laying back on the bed,
and bundleling up in the blankets. She didn't really think the lack of cold
would keep any nightmares away, but it had been a safer topic of
conversation.
*******************************************************
The narrowly focused Hiryu Shoten Ha slashed through Saffron and the
Phoenix God fell to ground, flame fading away. Ranma didn't wait to see it,
rushing forward to start the flow of cold Jusendo and save Akane. They
burst of flame flashed past and above him, and as he watched the gigantic
tap was destroyed, melting in on itself and sealing the water away.
Ranma snapped awake screaming, but immediately quieted down, trying to
catch his breath. He leaned forward clutching at his knees and stared into
darkness.
Ryoko looked over, unoticed, and considered what to do. If she had been
asleep she probably wouldn't have woken up for Ranma snapping awake. The
martial artist apparently woke up a lot quieter than she did. The screaming
had cut off almost immediately after starting, and the only sound coming
from him now wwere heavy, desperate breaths.
~I could just pretend to be asleep,~ she thought. ~And he is a jerk.~
"Hey, you okay?" Ryoko said, finding herself standing over Ranma.
"Couldn't sleep?" Ranma asked, hollowly, after a moment. He didn't look up.
Ryoko sat down to his side, taking the non-answer for a negative.
"Why bother?" Ryoko asked. "I hate dreams."
"Never had a good one?"
"Once or twice," Ryoko admitted, wistfully.
"Its only a couple hours til day," Ranma said after a moment. "We can last
that long."
"Sure, if I DO fall asleep, you'll wake me up when I start dreaming,
right?"
"If you do the same."
*******************************************************
As dawn broke, Nodoka quietly opened the door to check (spy) on her son and
daughter-in-law. The Saotome matriarch was pleased to see the two of them
asleep, leaning against each other. That strange cabbit critter was curled
up in the silver-haired woman's lap. True, there was no cuddling and it
look more like they had fallen asleep while on guard, but she was willing
to take a little bit here and there.
It had been a while since she had seen her son actually sleeping, rather
sitting in something like suspended animation in the middle of the room. An
impressive, if disturbing, feat. She quietly closed the door again, letting
them sleep in.
She walked into the dining room and paused in confusion. Then she turned to
the source of that confusion.
"Have you been there all night, dear?" Nodoka asked her husband. "You know,
after everything else that you went through yesterday, that probably wasn't
a very good idea. At your age you could develope some nasty kinks."
"I didn't have much of a choice," Genma-pretzel explained bitterly.

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