I seem incapable of keeping things serious for too
long
*******************************************************
   Shampoo looked about the waiting room part of Dr.
Tofu's clinic/house.  She saw Dr. Tofu, the nice-girl
~Why isn't he acting weird around her?  Oh, right,
they finally got married.~ There was the lost-boy, and
Ranma's mother.  She did not see Ranma.
   "Nihao!" Shampoo declared happily.  "Have new
patient."  She stepped to the side to allow a rather
forlorn looking green-haired girl inside.  The girl,
obviously an Amazon, was cradling her hand and looking
surprised.  A sheepish Ukyou followed behind her.
   Ryouga glanced at Ukyou and shrugged, indicating
his confusion over how the Amazons had gotten there.
Ukyou shook her head back in a "I hate today manner."
   "Would have visit sooner, but spatula-girl insist
on full tour of new restaurant," Shampoo noted.  "Then
Ran-Ran want spar with spatula-girl."
   "I take it that's how she hurt her hand," Dr. Tofu
said as he walked over to take the injured hand and
examine it.  "Several minor fractures, they should
heal soon.  I take it you discovered Ukyou's been
training with her fiancee."
   "She never say anything about baksai tenketsu,"
Ran-Ran said still surprised.  "Would have been more
careful if she did."  Ukyou giggled nervously, while
Ryouga snickered at the thought of an Amazon hurting
themselves by punching a baksai tenketsu enhanced
person.
   "Oh my," Kasumi said.  "Couldn't you have dodged,
Ukyou?"
   "Hey, I didn't want totally humiliate her," Ukyou
said in her defense.
   "Ran-Ran should have guessed when trident snap on
spatula-girl's head," Shampoo noted shaking her head
in disappointment.  Then the purple-haired Amazon
turned to Nodoka.  "Ranma-mother left very fast, I did
not have a chance to greet you."
   "I apologize for the rush, Shampoo-san," Nodoka
said.  "I had to come here as soon as possible, you
see my..."
   "...Husband is embedded in sidewalk?" Shampoo
interrupted.  Everybody looked at Ukyou again, she
sweatdropped.
   "No, I must have missed that, though it would
explain the upside down trash can" Nodoka said.  "The
reason I'm here is..."
   "That stupid panda actually told me girls couldn't
be good martial artists," Ukyou snapped angrily.
   "He did WHAT?!" Ryouga snapped.
   "Panda-man deserve much more pain for that,"
Shampoo noted sagely.
   "Is ai.." Shampoo knocked the younger Amazon on the
head.  "Is big-sister's ex here?"  The "ex" comment
earned another head bap from Shampoo.
   "Yes, my son is here..."
   "For his physical!" Ukyou snapped.  "Right,
Ryouga?"  She moved to sit next to him and nudged the
lost boy.
   "Uh...yeah right!" Ryouga nervously noted Ukyou
taking a good whiff of him and hoped the bath had
washed all the sake smell away.  The narrowed look in
her eyes told him otherwise.
   "Then why Doctor here and not with Ranma?" Shampoo
asked.  Kasumi sighed expressively, Ukyou didn't have
all the necessary talent to come up with on the spot
scams.  At least they hadn't noticed the muffled
argument and door slamming further back in the
building.
   "I do not know what foolishness you people are
talking about," Nodoka said.
   "When did I say something foo...." Ryouga snapped
his mouth shut as Nodoka drew her katana.
   "Now as I was saying, several times," Nodoka
accented the last two words with a polite, if annoyed,
tone.  "My son is here because his wife was injured."
   "WIFE!!" Shampoo shouted.  "I mean I'm happy for
Ranma."  Nobody believed her.
   "But big-sister say...oww!" Ran-Ran rubbed her head
with her good hand.
*******************************************
   "I'm not going to need your help," Ryoko growled.
Ignoring Ranma's reaction to the word "Nihao."  "I
just need a drink."  Ryoko stood up and began looking
through drawers.
   "I think you have enough problems," Ranma muttered.
 He shook his head watching her.  "You really think
that the Doc left any of that gunk around this room?"
   "There's got to be some around here," Ryoko
muttered.  Ranma noted that she was still sweating and
leaning heavily on the counters.  She slammed the last
door closed and growled in frustration.  "Where is it!
 Doctors always have something around.  Brandy, sake,
scotch..something!"
   "Man, you're stupid," Ryoko turned to growl at him.
 "The only thing you NEED to drink is water, and
then..."
   "Fine, I'll GET some water!"  Ryoko turned to the
sink at the counter, quietly bent the faucet and
turned on the water.  "Happy?"
   "Not.  Really." Ranma-chan said.  Ryoko smirked and
stalked towards the door.  "You REALLY don't want to
go out there right now."
   "And why not?"
   "WIFE!!" Somebody shouted.
   "Answer your question?" Ranma-chan asked snidely.
   "That's IT!" Ryoko snapped, continuing out towards
the lobby.
   "Miao?" Ryo-Ohki did her best to speak slowly and
quietly, and was satisfied that Ranma-chan merely
gritted her teeth.  He glanced at the cabbit before
following Ryoko.
   "Hey, idiot, you have to get some rest," Ranma-chan
insisted before following.  She stopped upon seeing
Ryoko silently staring into the waiting room.
"Ryoko?"  Ranma-chan caught up to Ryoko and looked
into the waiting room and saw her mother and Shampoo
looking towards them.
   "So is this your wife, Ranma?" his mother asked
politely, sheathing her katana and moving forward.
   "Ayeka?" Ryoko asked quietly, ignoring everybody
aside from Shampoo.
   "She look like she see ghost," Shampoo noted,
curiously.  Ryoko narrowed her eyes angrily.
   "How did you es..."
   "Look at her, Shampoo," Ranma interrupted.  Ryoko
blinked and looked back to Shampoo, shoulders
slumping.   "She ain't exactly in the best shape."
The pirate dropped back into the hallway, desire to
confront these people gone.
   "Excuse me," Kasumi said, following the woman.
Ranma-chan shifted to let her by.
   "I'd like to ask at least some of you to leave,"
Dr. Tofu suggested firmly.  "There are too many people
here."
   "Yeah, I need to talk to Ryouga about some things,"
Ukyou said, standing up.  She glanced back towards
where Ryoko had gone back out of sight.  "And maybe
chain him to the door until the wedding."
   "Stupid lost boy," Shampoo shook her head, as the
couple walked out the door.
   "You still haven't fixed hand," Ran-Ran reminded
him.
   "I can take care of that," Dr. Tofu said.  "Just
follow me this won't take long at all."  Ran-Ran
nodded and followed the doctor, brushing against
Ranma-chan as she passed.
   "Oh, excuse please," she said cheerily, and wincing
at the cold look she was getting.  Nodoka cleared her
throat, attracting attention from Ranma.
   "I apparently have to see about extricating your
father from the sidewalk outside Ucchans'" Nodoka
said.  "But your wife is welcome to stay with us,
however short a time this marriage lasts, she is
obviously upset ."
   "I don't think that's going to happen," Ranma-chan
said, shaking her head.  "But I'll tell her."
   "Very good," Nodoka smiled and looked to the
doorway.  "Not a very traditional woman, hmm."  The
Saotome matriarch left Shampoo and Ranma in the room
alone.
*******************************************************
   "Ryoko-san," Kasumi called sweetly, she found the
pirate in the kitchen, searching through drawers
again.  The cabbit sat on the counter watching her
worriedly.  "You won't find anything with alcohol, we
did think to hide it."  Ryoko turned to blink at her.
   "The only reason I'm going through withdrawl is
that somebody tossed my sake," she snapped.  "Do you
think I want to be sober!?"
   "Probably not," Kasumi answered, smiling.  "Sit
down, I'll make you something that will help you feel
better."
   "I good shot of something will do just fine," Ryoko
said irritably.  She did find a chair and sat down,
however.  The brown haired woman walked about the
kitchen collecting various fruits and vegetables.
   "Who was this woman that attacked you?"
   "That was Nagi," Ryoko spat.
   "I see," Kasumi said.  Ryoko heard the sound of a
blender and watched as Kasumi poured the resulting
drink into a glass.  "And who is Ayeka?"
   "What are you talking about?" Ryoko demanded as
Kasumi carried the drink over to her.  She looked
questionably at the drink and took a sip.
   "You called Shampoo, 'Ayeka'," Kasumi said, she
watched carefully as Ryoko took a bigger drink from
the glass.  "And were asking her how she escaped when
Ranma interrupted.  Quite lucky, since you are in no
condition to be fighting Shampoo, or anybody."
   "Don't you people mind your own business?  What do
you know about it?"  Kasumi looked at her for a
moment.
   "Have you heard the name Akane yet?"
   "Yes, so?"
   "She was my sister, I practically raised her,"
Kasumi said, a tear escaping her eyes.  "She's been
dead four years now."
   "Was it your fault?"  Ryoko asked sullenly.
   "No, but it feels like it at times.  I doubt
your...friend's death was your fault either," Kasumi
said.
   "Nagi killed her and Tenchi," Ryoko said.  "My
enemy, my fault."
   "Could you have done anything to stop it?"
   "I wasn't conscious," Ryoko growled.  "I should
have died WITH them, if SHE hadn't gotten me to a
doctor."  Kasumi looked to the cabbit at her side.
   "Miao!" Ryo-Ohki sounded like she was lecturing.
   "So you were not even aware it was happening."
   "That's NOT the point," Ryoko growled quietly.  She
didn't know exactly why she felt like explaining
herself to this person, and she wasn't about to do it
any more.
   "And what is the point?" Kasumi asked.  Ryoko
narrowed her eyes and looked at the empty glass.
   "Can I have another one of these?" she asked.
   "Certainly," Kasumi smiled and stood up to pour the
remainder of the contents of the blender into the
glass she took from Ryoko.  "I for one am glad you are
here, for Ranma's sake if nothing else."
   "I'm NOT staying married to him," Ryoko said
firmly.
   "Of course not," Kasumi said, sweetly.  "I was not
suggesting that at all."  Ryoko watched the
brown-haired woman cautiously as she accepted the
glass back.
*******************************************************
   "Have you been drinking?" Ukyou asked sweetly as
soon as they were out of sight of the clinic.
   "Not since that one time, I swear!" Ryouga said.
Ukyou thought as much, but she didn't get very many
openings like this.  Well, they came fairly often.
Okay, so she tended to make them even if they weren't
there, teasing Ryouga was fun and easy.
   "Then why do you stink of sake?"
   "It...it..it started raining sake bottles," he
stammered.  Ukyou blinked in surprise.
   ~And Ryoko is going through withdrawl...uh
oh....off that track for now,~ Ukyou retrieved her
normal cheerful expression.  "I'll buy that this one
time, sugar.  So how'd you end up with Ranma and Ryoko
anyway?"
   "I followed the bounty hunter that attacked her,"
Ryouga said.  Ukyou stopped and shook her head.
   "How does Ranma manage it?" she asked.
   "She wanted the lady to kill her," Ryouga added.
Ukyou had about the same reaction as Ryouga had
earlier.
   "We left someone like that alone with RANMA!?"
Ukyou started to turn around and found herself facing
Nodoka Saotome.
   "I think Dr. Tofu and Kasumi can handle matters,"
Ranma's mother said.  "Now, I believe you need to
explain to me as to why my husband is embedded into
your sidewalk."
   "He deserved it."
*******************************************************
   "You're just here for Ukyou's wedding, right
Shampoo?"  Ranma-chan asked levelly.  Shampoo resisted
the urge to fall into a battle stance.  There was
nothing overly hostile in Ranma's attitude, but at the
moment he didn't seem to be overly anything.
   "We come here to live," Shampoo said defiantly.
"Mousse, my sisters and I."
   "Why?"
   "Amazon business," Shampoo said, crossing her arms.
 "You are not Amazon, is not your business."
   "No marriage plans of your own?"
   "Stupid, I already married," Shampoo said.
Ranma-chan looked to where Ran-Ran had disappeared and
arched an eyebrow, she then turned to face Shampoo
again.
   "How about her?"
   "I don't know what's in her head," Shampoo said, it
wasn't quite a lie.
   "One accidental marriage is more than enough, I
don't need that mess starting again."  Shampoo
narrowed her eyes, but said nothing.  At this point
Dr. Tofu returned with Ran-Ran, her hand wrapped up.
"You know better Shampoo."
   "Hand all better," the younger Amazon said
cheerfully, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the chill
mood.
   "Your heart beat, you should not stay dead!"
Shampoo snapped, before waving the confused Ran-Ran
over and leaving with her younger sister.
   "She means well, Ranma," the doctor lectured him.
   "Everybody means well," Ranma-chan said.
*******************************************************
   "Everybody gone?" Ryoko asked as a male Ranma
appeared in Kasumi and Tofu's kitchen.  She was
drinking another of Kasumi's herb and fruit blends,
and irritably having to admit that she did feel,
indeed, better.
   "Yeah," Ranma said.  He glanced about, again
surprised at the small table and chairs that Kasumi
kept in the kitchen.  The actual dining room was more
traditional, like he would have expected from Kasumi,
but he guessed this was easier for just a couple.
   "Excuse me," Kasumi said politely, standing up.  "I
have some more studying to do."  Ryoko and Ranma eyed
her with open irritation as she left with an amused
smile on her face.
   "She's trying to match us up," Ryoko said,
unnecessarily.
   "And Ukyou and Ryouga, and maybe my mother,"  Ranma
added.  "Though she tinks I just married you to get a
one-night stand."  Ryoko stared as Ranma sat down and
let his head fall to the table.
   "And she's okay with that?" Ryoko asked.
   "It stretches the limits of 'manliness' but
otherwise, yeah," Ranma said without picking up his
head.
   "I could get to like her," Ryoko said, without
joking.  Ranma looked up and fixed her with a confused
glance.
   "Nani?"
   "Sounds like she's not near as anal as she seemed,"
Ryoko shrugged.
   "You're both weird," Ranma said shaking his head.
   "You turn into a woman when you get wet, and you
call me weird?"
   "My mom invited you to stay at our place," Ranma
said, changing the subject before things degenerated
into a shouting match.  There were times he COULD keep
the Saotome mouth in check.  "That actually sounds
like a good idea."  Ryoko stared at him, arching an
eyebrow.
   "And why is that?" Ryoko asked irritably.
   "Food, close to friends, easier to get to Tofu's
without calling down American fighter planes..."
   "Nani?"
   "Ask, Ryo-Ohki," Ranma said pointing at a suddenly
innocent looking cabbit.  "Anyway, the only problems
would be Oyaji, but with Mom around he shouldn't be
too bad, and appearances."
   Ryoko wanted to say she insisted on the shrine, but
her stomach was already loudly protesting the thought
of four more days of cereal.  Besides which she no
longer was certain just how far Nagi was willing to
go.  For all Ryoko knew, she might show up just as
Ryoko got healthy enough to put up a fight, but not
enough to win.
   "Do I have a choice?" she asked irritably.
Internally she was running a last benefit through her
head.  ~This way I can get my powers back quicker and
show this punk what I'm REALLY like, good warm-up for
Nagi.~
   "Of course you do," Ranma said.  Ryoko stared at
him and blinked.  "Nani?"
   ~Damn it, he's giving me the choice, then again
he'll probably follow me anywhere anyway.~  Ryoko
shrugged.  "Might as well, if I have to have you
around, it might as well be comfortable."
   "You're saying yes!?" Ranma blinked.
   "What did you think I'd do?"
   "Miao?" Ryoko looked to the confused cabbit.
   "I don't know why he's hitting his head again,"
Ryoko said.
*******************************************************
   "Well how'd..."
   *SLAM*  Mousse watched his wife stomp past with
Ran-Ran following behind slightly confused.
   "He accused me of trying to set him up!" Shampoo
snapped off in Chinese.  "I barely got to talk!"
   "But you are trying to get him to marry me,"
Ran-Ran said.  "Aren't you?"
   "Not the point!" Shampoo snapped.  "The point is he
didn't give me the chance to prove otherwise."
   "He hasn't known you to do much else," Mousse
noted, Shampoo ignored him.
   "But since you brought it up, little-sister.  What
did I say about how to approach this?"
   "You said I shouldn't be obvious," Ran-Ran said.
   "So what was that brushing against him thing?!"
   "Shampoo!" Mousse snapped.
   "What!?"
   "This is Ranma we're talking about," he said.  "It
wouldn't be obvious to him unless you shouted your
intentions from the roof tops."
   "Like Shampoo shouted when she here Ranma married?"
Ran-Ran asked.
   "Gee...sounds like you dug you're own grave,"
Mousse sighed.
   "The restaurant looks nice," Shampoo commented,
sagely ignoring her embarrassment.  Mousse chuckled
quietly in amusement at her, Shampoo mock growled and
returned to examining the restaurant.
   "Big-sister Shampoo isn't..."  Shampoo glared at
Ran-Ran and the girl's cheerful witticism died.
"uhhh...wrong...its in very good condition."
*******************************************************
   "Excuse me, Genma," Nodoka said, looking down at
Genma.  "But I've heard a few things about your
behavior today."
   "What do you mean by that dear?"
   "Do you really want me to list the charges?" she
asked.  Genma sweatdropped.  "Good, now I have invited
this Ryoko person to stay out our home for the next
few days."
   "But we can't afford a freeloader," Genma declared.
 "And if this Ryoko is a fragile little thing then
she's bound to be picky as well....it is a bad idea to
encourage a wedding with someone we know nothing
about."
   "Hmmm, I think we should get you out of there
before continuing this discussion," Genma turned to
Ryouga and Ukyou.  "Kuonji-san, didn't your fiancee
say you needed some work on your baksai tenketsu
accuracy?"
   "Yeah, he did," Ukyou smiled evily and looked over
to where Genma was embedded in the sidewalk.  "Can you
move aside please, Mrs. Saotome?"
   "Certainly," the Saotome matriarch moved away from
her immobile and worried husband.
   "Can you do the trick with the spatula's again?"
Ryouga asked.  It was one of the few baksai tenketsu
tricks she had come up with on her own.  Of course,
she was much better with weapons than he was.
   "Sure!  I haven't been able to do much more than a
basic blast with those."
   "Umm...we could...." Genma watched as he was
circled in mini-spatulas, shortly before the ground
exploded around and underneath him.  The other three
watched him disappear into a LEO and calculated that
he was going to land in the canal.  "...taaallkkk....
abbooouuuttt......thiiiiisssssss!!"
   "Well now that that's over with," Ukyou smirked
towards Ryouga, leaning close.  "Why don't we see
about washing that stink off of you?"
   Ryouga glanced toward an intrigued Nodoka and
blushed.  Ukyou restrained herself from laughing
before continuing in a sultry tone.
   "I told Konatsu that I'll handle the inventory, so
it's JUST us.  I could help get those hard to
reach..." Ryouga's nose started to bleed and fell back
in a faint.  "Got him!"  Ukyou giggled.
   "Kuonji-san, it is not exactly proper to be
discussing these things in public," Nodoka lectured.
   "Yeah, but its a lot more fun to tease Ryouga in
public," Ukyou said, she gestured to the unconscious
martial-artist.
   "I see," Nodoka said.  "For a moment I thought he
had not yet been cured of his shyness."  As Ukyou
dragged Ryouga along, Nodoka examined the impact
crater from his fall and sweatdropped.
*******************************************************
   Kodachi snapped her head up from the chemicals she
was working with to look back at the mirror.  For a
moment she thought she had seen...
   "Boo." Kodachi whipped her head around to see
Konatsu standing next to her a big grin on his face.
   "Konatsu-chan!" she blinked.
   "You actually saw me coming this time,
Kodachi-sama," Konatsu noted pridefully.
   "Of course," Kodachi noted pridefully.  "I am the
Black Rose, truly it must be a mountainous task to try
and approach me unawares."
   ~Well, its almost as difficult as stepping over a
log now,~ Konatsu thought, still smiling.  "You
certainly see things more clearly than your...peers."
It was a safer word to use than relatives.
   "That is a lovely kimono by the way," Kodachi
added.
   "You think so?" Konatsu chimed, blushing.
   "Oh, definitely," Kodachi nodded, cocking her head
to get a better look.  "It contrasts your dark hair
quite beautifully.  I must say that I am quite
jealous."  Kodachi couldn't understand how Ukyou had
gone for that rather dense barbarian over the ninja.
It was hard to find a man with good sense of female
fashion, as dating material at least.
   "Oh please," Konatsu waved off the comment.  "That
dress you wore last week was much more elegant and
becoming."
   "Yes, I did draw quite a bit of attention didn't
I?" Kodachi agreed haughtily.  Konatsu forbear to
mention that it was mostly because people had thought
they were both women.  "But I did not expect to be
treated to your presence until Apollo had driven his
chariot back to his abode.  Do you not have to help
Kuonji-san with her inventory today?"
   "Ukyou told me she'd handle it," Konatsu said.
   "Then you can teach my some of your escape
methods?" Kodachi asked, hopefully.  Konatsu blushed,
Kodachi did NOT need his help in learning how to
escape bonds.
   "Uh...Kodachi-sama, before we discuss...training,"
Konatsu fidgeted.  "You should know that your family
ninja finally learned about Ranma-san's marriage."
   "Oh, what a bother," Kodachi sighed.  "I suppose
I'm going to be paying for another hospital stay,
aren't I."
   "Not too mention court fees," Konatsu nodded.  "Why
do you bother paying for him anyway?"
   "I did promise Ranma to try and handle my brother,"
Kodachi reminded him.  "It was the least I could do
after breaking his heart and leaving him when I did."
The translation was that she had gotten tired and
bored with him while he was still totally ignoring the
world in the months after Akane's death.
   "The vile Saotome dares take a wife after the death
of the virtuous Akane Tendo?!"
   "The city records are quite certain of the matter,
master."
   "At last Saotome has revealed his evil by betraying
the memory of that fair flower of womanhood.  Surely
his magic must be weakening if the foul find must try
such obvious ploys."
   "Of course master," Sasuke rolled his eyes.
   "Brother-dear," Kodachi tsked from the doorway. "I
seem to remember a restraining order, and I have no
desire to contiue digging you out of trouble."
   "These mere peasant laws have no hold on a scion of
the house of Kuno!  And how would they expect to hold
me?  Would you stop me, dear-sister?"
   "Why should I bother?" Kodachi shrugged.  ~I will
have a chat with Ranma about not inviting me to the
wedding though.  When I told him I would no longer
seek to marry him I did not mean that I wanted to cut
him out of my life completely.~  Some unconscious part
of Kodachi's mind tried to remind her that he had been
in something like a coma at the time.  The message
failed miserably.
   "Of course you must realize that you're feeble
attempts would fail before my divine might!" Kuno
declared to his sister.  She stared at him for a
moment before collasping to the ground in uncontroled
laughter.
   "OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"
   "Would you please stop that sister?"  Kuno asked.
"It is most annoying."
   "Perhaps if you didn't provide her with such an
ample source of amusment, master," Sasuke suggested.
   "QUIET SASUKE!!!"  Kodachi, paused a moment, looked
at her brother and then collapsed in laughter again.
   "OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"

=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" -
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom

Signed
He of Too Many Names (Thrythlind/Thryth/Luke/Hyperbole/Pika/Pooka)

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html