"How did this happen?" Ryouga asked confused.
Ranma and Ryoko were both too annoyed with each other
and the situation to note the good humor leaking into
the question.  As the conversation continued,
Okonomiyaki kept appearing and disappearing in front
of Ranma and Ryoko.
   "You wouldn't believe it," Ryoko said grimmly.
   "This is Ranma," Ukyou said hopefully.  "This sort
of thing used to happen to him all the time."
   "He's been married before?" Ryoko looked back at
where the martial artist was repeatedly letting his
head drop repeatedly to the counter and bounce back
up.
   "No, just a lot of fiancees," Ryouga said.  Ryoko's
glare at Ranma deepened.
   ~What kind of womanizing jerk is he?~  If Ryo-Ohki
had heard that thought she would have face-faulted.
   "That is NOT happening again," Ranma said, sitting
up.  "This isn't one of the damn panda's promises its
a clerical error."
   "All I know is that because of HIM," Ryoko spat.
"I have to wait a week to finish something.  And I
have to put up with HIM babysitting me the entire
time."
   "I ain't the idiot walking around with hole in my
side," Ranma countered.  He looked at Ryouga.  "You
still have my camping gear, right?"
   "Wait a minute," Ukyou paused.  "You're staying
with her?"
   "For a week, until we get that damn thing taken
care of," Ranma jabbed a finger at the marriage
license in Ryouga's hand.  He paused and faced Ryouga
and Ukyou.  "Sorry about this, I know you were
expecting my help with the wedding."  Ryouga and Ukyou
stared in silence at him for a moment.
   "Don't worry about it," Ukyou snapped suddenly.
   "Yeah, we didn't really..omph" Ryouga glanced at
his fiancee's elbow, now back at her side.  "I mean
we'll figure something out."
   "Are you a martial artist?" Ukyou asked, not
expecting the answer.
   "No," the Nerimans face faulted.  "Why?"
   "That's different," Ukyou said.  Ryouga, in picking
himself up noticed something.
   "Uh, is that a tail?"  Ukyou leaned over the
counter for a look.
   "Yeah, what about it?" Ryoko asked, confused as to
why that would be an issue.  Ranma was giving Ryouga a
narrowed eyed glare.
   "I was wrong," Ukyou said, unintentionally cutting
off the comment Ranma was about to make.  "Nothing new
here."
   "Are you sure you're not a martial artist?"
   "No, I am not a martial artist," Ryoko repeated
tightly.  Ranma was giving her a "yeah, right," look
but nobody noticed.
   "Miao."  There was a deep grating sound and
everybody looked to the furrows that Ranma had just
dug into the table with his fingers.
   "I wish she would stop that," Ranma muttered.
   "That rabbit meowed," Ryouga blinked.  Ranma stood
up and deliberately straightened.  Ukyou gave Ryouga a
look and nodded towards the living section of the
restaurant.  "Uh, you mentioned camping equipment."
   "Yeah, where is it?" Ranma asked.
   "I think its the closet, yeah," Ryouga started
walking.  Ranma irritably followed and turned him
around.
   "That's the store room!"
   "Uh, sorry," Ryouga laughed, nervously.
   "Idiot," Ukyou and Ranma said almost at once.  As
soon as the two guys entered the back of Ucchan's,
Ukyou turned to face Ryoko.
   "Was he acting like that before you met him?"
Ryoko blinked at the sudden and hushed question.
   "How would I know that?"
   "Oh, good point." Ukyou deflated a little, and
thought about the situation.  "I wish I knew what did
it."
   "He doesn't normally act like that?"
   "Uh...never mind," Ukyou said, backing off.  "He
just hasn't gotten mad in a long time, not shouting
mad anyway."
   "You mean he isn't normally such an asshole?" Ryoko
blinked.
   "Of course n..." Ukyou paused for a moment.
"Actually, that's the one thing that never changed
about him."  Ryoko smirked.
   "Knew it," Ryoko smirked.
   "Miao, miao," Ryo-Ohki shook her head in
disappointed manner.
   "What do you mean by that?" Ryoko glared at the
cabbit.  Ukyou considered this, went back the kitchen
and came back with a pair of glasses of water.  Before
either Ryoko or Ryo-Ohki could react Ukyou had dumped
first one and then other glass on the cabbit.
   "Miao!" the cabbit sputtered and shook herself dry.
   "Why'd you do that?" Ryoko asked, confused.
   "Just checking something," Ukyou said.
   "Miao?"
   "How should I know what she was checking?"
   "Word of advice," Ukyou said checking to make sure
Ranma was still gone.  "If you hear Ranma start
meowing, splash him with water."
   "Ohhkay," Ryoko blinked.  The sound of an opening
door drew their attention to Ryouga coming back into
the restaurant.  He came through the front door.
   "How'd I get here?" Ryouga asked, confused.  Ukyou
rolled her eyes.
   "Where's Ranma?" Ukyou asked.  Ryouga looked
sheepish until the other martial artist came back to
the restaurant from the house section, wearing his old
backpack.
   "Right there," Ryouga said quickly.  Ranma looked
at him and blinked.
   "That's lucky," Ranma said.  "Thought you'd have to
postpone the wedding."
   "Again," Ukyou added dryly, glaring at the
embarrased lost boy.  Ryoko had given up trying to
figure things out.
   "Can we leave now," Ryoko snapped.  "The sooner we
get this started the sooner its done with."  It was
blatantly untrue, but she didn't particularly care.
Ranma favored her with a glare but didn't say
anything.
   "Try not to tell anybody else about this," Ranma
said wearily.  "Tell my Mom I went on a training trip
or something."
   "Sure," Ukyou answered quickly.
   "Are you two coming?" Ranma asked, giving Ryoko a
turn to glare.  He waited for Ryoko to stalk angrily
out past him and then followed.  "Wish we had a faster
way to do this."
   The space pirate looked at Ryo-Ohki sitting on her
shoulder, and considered telling her to transform for
a moment.  She decided against it, despite the
pleasure she would have of seeing the jerk squirm in
surprise.  It would be better not to draw attention
for a while.
   "Its like he used argue with Akane all the time,"
Ryouga said.  Nobody noticed Ryoko glance back in
curiosity for a moment.
*******************************************************
   "Hey, that's a shrine!" Ranma said surprised as he
looked up the second flight of stairs.
   "Yeah, so?" Ryoko asked.
   "I didn't expect someone like you to live at a
shrine," Ranma said, by way of explanation.
   "What do you mean by someone like me?"  The Saotome
mouth continued unaware.
   "Then again considering the shape its in that makes
sense," he noted.  "Doesn't look like anybody's done
anything here for months."
   "No one's BEEN here in months!" Ryoko shouted as
she tossed Ranma into the lake.  As the satisfying
sound of a jerk martial artist splashing deep into the
lake played in the background, Ryoko sat down on what
had been the Masaki porch.  The house was gone of
course, she didn't know if it existed anymore.
   "Damn it, what did she do that for?" Ranma
muttered, as she squeezed her chinese tunic dry.
"What did I say this time?"  Ranma looked down at
herself before putting the relatively drier tunic back
on.
   Ranma stomped up from the lake to that odd
courtyard where they had been when Ryoko had thrown
him.  She paused as he heard the woman talking to her
cabbit.
   "...nothing," Ranma made out as he approached.
Before she "accidentally" snapped a twig, Ranma almost
thought he had seen a television, near that cabbit, or
whatever.  The image vanished before she could get a
good luck at it, so he shrugged it off as a trick of
the light.
   Ryoko whirled on Ranma and immediately moved her
hands to gather power before she remembered that her
powers were shut away.
   "Who the %&^% are you?" Ryoko demanded.
   "Who do you think!?  Did you toss anybody else
wearing chinese clothes into the lake?"  Ryoko blinked
and stared.
   "Ranma?"
   "Congratulations, you win the prize" Ranma said
sarcastically.
   "That's impossible," Ryoko snapped.  "Ranma's a
MALE jerk."  She watched the red-head walk to where
Ranma had set down his camping gear and retrieved a
thermos.
   "Yeah I'm a GUY," the young woman said
emphatically.  Then she suddenly seemed contrite.
"Oh, sorry, haven't dealt with anybody that didn't
know about the curse for a while."
   "Curse?"
   "Sit down, idiot, you're supposed to be resting."
Ryoko blinked and growled.
   "Joke's over Ranma!" she shouted. "Get out here and
join your girlfriend."  Ryoko watched the red-head
freeze for a moment.  The she took the thermos and
poured it over her head.  Ryoko blinked and sat down
trying to figure out how the red-head woman had just
turned into the black-haired jerk she'd come up here
with.
   "Miao?"  Ranma jumped into the nearest tree.
   "Quit that!" Ranma snapped, before landing back on
the ground.
   "Miao?"
   "Okay, what was that?!"
   "I told you its a curse," Ranma said.  His tone of
voice as he continued made it obvious that he'd long
ago gotten bored of explaining this.  "There used to
be this place with all these springs, a different
thing had drowned in each one, and if you fell into a
spring you'd take the body of whatever drowned there.
I fell in the spring of drowned girl."  Ryoko thought
back to the chef girl splashing Ryo-Ohki with water
and suddenly it made sense.
   "Sounds like something Washu would come up with,"
Ryoko said, then she smiled viciously.  "You really
are a fem-boy."  Ranma glanced at the eager look in
Ryoko's eyes and smirked.
   "I invented that game," Ranma said.  "I ain't going
to fight you."
   "You couldn't take me if I DID want you to," Ryoko
growled.
   "Where do you sleep?" Ranma asked.
   "Used to be a house here," Ryoko said, quietly.
"But think'll sleep in the shrine, What about you?"
The word "you" was virtually spat.
   "You're going to be up there?" he repeated.  "I'll
settle for this."  Ryoko growled at the implied
insult.
*******************************************************
   Ryoko woke the next morning to the steady sound of
blunt impacts.  They came one after another, with
enough speed that it almost sounded like one long,
steady roar.  The individual impacts were only barely
discernable.  Ryoko couldn't comment much on this.
   Last night Ryoko had taken to her normal method of
holding off dreams.  She had drunk herself
unconscious.  At the moment she was only barely aware
of being awake due the sensation each impact sent
through her skull.  As the thudding hit a pause she
irritably stood up and started to walk outside.
   "Where is the bastard?" she asked herself.  Ryoko
looked around for Ranma, but couldn't see him
anywhere.  "Must be finished with what ever it was."
As Ryoko turned to shuffle back to bed, Ranma started
practicing with his Amaguriken.
   Ryoko huddled into herself, gripping her head and
plotting various vengences on a young martial artist.
As she did that, a concerned cabbit tracked down the
source of the noise.  She found Ranma punching into an
impact crater in the center of a random tree's huge
trunk.
   "Miao!" Ranma stopped pounding on the tree and
skittered up into its leaves.  Ryo-Ohki was no longer
surprised by his tendency to jump at the sound of her
voice, but it still confused her.  As Ryo-Ohki watched
the beleagured tree snapped under the strain and
crumbled to the ground along with a screaming Ranma.
   "Would you quit that!" he growled upon climbing
from the debris.
   "Miao? Miao! Miao miao!" The cabbit started
pointing back towards the shrine.  The meaning was
obvious.
   "What now?" he sighed before leaping down at a
moderately wide distance from the cabbit.  He found
Ryoko hanging over the edge of the shrine doing her
best not to vomit on the tiles.  Ranma sighed and
approached her slowly as she finished.
   "Hey," he said softly.  "Are you o.....erk!?"
Ryoko hauled him down to the ground and turned to
glare at him.
   "Please.  Be.  Quiet!" she whispered hoarsely.
Ranma sniffed the air and regarded the space pirate a
little irritably.  She then let him go and stood up
and began shuffling back to the bed.
   "Drunk?" he asked flatly.
   "Hangover," Ryoko corrected.  "Let me guess, you
don't drink."
   "Not if I can help it," Ranma said, standing back
up.  "But I'll keep the noise down for now."
   "Thanks."  As soon as he heard the woman snoring
again Ranma reluctantly looked down at the cabbit.
   "Okay, where is it?"
   "Miao?" Ranma didn't know what the rabbit-thing had
said, but he caught the gist of the "what are you
talking about?" comment.
   "You know what I mean."  Ryo-Ohki sighed.  Ryoko
was really going to be mad about this.
*******************************************************
   "Good morning."  Ukyou nearly jumped out of her
skin at the sound of Nodoka's voice.
   "Good morning, Saotome-san," Ukyou said nervously.
"What are you doing here?"
   "Well, since your fiancee and my son are on a
training trip, I thought you might be able to use some
help," Ukyou sweatdropped as Nodoka allowed herself
into the restaurant.  "Ryouga indicated that he was
acting much more like himself."
   "Is that what Ryouga told you?" Ukyou asked.
Nodoka turned around and regarded her carefully.
   "Is that not what happened?"
   "Ukyou, ummm...where am I?"  Nodoka looked toward
the voice and then turned back towards Ukyou with an
arched eyebrow.
   "Well, not exactly," the chef said.  "He's...uh..."
Ukyou remembered something Ranma had mentioned.
"...keeping an eye on a patient for Kasumi and Dr
Tofu."
   "Then why didn't Ryouga just say that?" Nodoka
folded her arms and gave Ukyou her "mother knows all"
look as a wind blew through the scene.  As fate would
have it the wind picked up a much abused piece of
paper and carried it past the Saotome matriarch's
face.
   "Uh oh," Ukyou said as her best friend's mother
snatched the paper and looked at it.
   "Oh dear, my son went off and eloped," Nodoka said.
   "It was an accident, they're..."
   "How manly of him!"  Ukyou face-faulted.  "He must
not have been nearly as bad as he seemed.  I wonder
how long this has been going on."
   "Why do you keep moving the closet?"  Ryouga called
from the back.
   "Uh, Saotome-san," Ukyou said.  Nodoka turned
toward her.  "They just met and got in the wrong line
at the municipal building.  They're going to get it
anulled in a week."
   "I'm sure he made a plausible story," Nodoka said
cheerfully.  "Do you know where they went?  I'd like
to meet my new daughter-in-law."
   ~She's hopeless,~ Ukyou thought from her newfound
position on the floor.  "Umm, let me go find Ryouga
before the jackass gets lost again."
   "Certainly," Nodoka nodded happily as Ukyou went to
look for her fiancee.  About ten minutes later she was
treated to the following noise.
   "WHERE ON EARTH IS HE NOW?!"
   "Oh dear," Nodoka sighed.  "That wedding might
never happen."
*******************************************************
   "RANMA!!!" Ranma smirked at the enraged sound.
Apparently Ryoko had checked her stash.
   "I'm a little busy right now," Ranma answered
without turning around.
   "A little busy, my ass!" Ryoko snapped as she hit
the top of the stairs to the shrine.  Ranma turned his
head to look up at the very angry silver-haired woman.
 "Where's my sake?"
   "How should I know?" he shrugged returning to his
lotus position.
   "Who else is around to take it, you little
bastard!" Ryoko started down the stairs at an angry
stalk, and forgot that her powers were blocked.  "So
where...SHIT!!"
   The space pirate suddenly found herself having to
run down the stairs in an attempt not to fall.  It
didn't take long for her feet to trip themselves up,
bringing to a painful crash into the steps.  She would
have continued falling, except that was pretty much
the same instant Ranma reached her.
   "You all right?" he asked.
   "Put me down, pervert!" Ryoko shouted, snapping a
fist into Ranma's face.  As a result the fall started
again, with an extra participant.  They landed in pile
with Ryoko on top.  "Thanks for the help, fem-boy."
   "If you hadn't hit me we wouldn't have fallen!"
Ranma yelled.  Ryoko stood up, noticeably favoring
onside.  Looking up Ranma saw why.  "Ah man, you're
bleeding again."  Ryoko looked down, saw a darkening
spot on her blouse, and growled.
   "Good!" she snapped and started to walk away.
Ranma stood up and considered his options.
   Ryoko's chi flow might be different, but her bodily
systems probably worked near enough the same to a
human's to try something.  Ranma moved up as silently
as he could.
   "Get away from me, jerk!" Ryoko turned about,
lashing out with a punch.  Ranma easily directed it
past him and reached a hand up to tap both sides of
Ryoko's throat were he could see blood vessels pulsing
slightly underneath.
   Ranma wasn't which side was the effective touch,
and he didn't care.  A sudden boost of oxygen to
Ryoko's brain, bolstered by stress and fatigue, sent
the space pirate into a faint.
   "She really needs to work on her technique," Ranma
said disapprovingly as he set her down.  Ranma looked
up to see a concerned cabbit hop up in front of them.
"DON'T SAY IT! Just see if you can get me some
bandages from my pack." Ryo-Ohki nodded and rushed for
his pack.
   Ranma worked fast, more because Ryoko would be
waking up soon than because he thought there was a
medical need for speed.  It took him maybe two seconds
to pull up the edge of her blouse and jacket, pull off
the bandage, and confrim that the wound and opened a
little, but that Tofu's stitches hadn't broken.
   "Mmf!" Thanking the kami that Ryo-Ohki hadn't
sounded at all cat like with the sealed bandage in her
mouth, Ranma took replaced the bandage.
   "No, she's not seriously hurt," Ranma told the
overly worried cabbit.  "So stop looking at me
like..."
   "JERK!!" The next thing Ranma knew, he was looking
down at the fast approaching lake.
   "Why me?" Ranma-chan wondered as she dragged
herself out of the lake.  She started back for her
camp when she found herself staring again into Ryoko's
yellow eyes.
   "And where's MY SAKE!?"  Ranma narrowed her eyes
and jabbed her thumb behind him.
   "You through them in the lake?"
   "Nope," Ranma said.  "I just threw them, that
didn't watch them land."
   "I really hate you."  Ryoko growled.
   "You think I'm enjoying this?"
*******************************************************
   Somewhere in the middle of nowhere a black pig
finally returned to consciousness surrounded by broken
glass.  He remembered the first sake bottle shattering
on his head and activating his curse.  Then there had
been a salvo of five or ten of the damn things, maybe
more after he missed a dodge and was knocked cold.
   Ryouga spared on more glance about his environment
and sat down to think.
   ~When did Ukyou add a garden?~
*******************************************************
   "Tenchi!!" Ryoko snapped awake, sat up, reached
out, and remembered.  The pirate slumped and worked to
catch her breath and hold the tears in.  Looking up
she noticed Ranma standing her there and glared at
him.  "Enjoy the show, hope I didn't wake you."
   "I wasn't asleep," Ranma told her.  "Who's Tenchi?"
 Ryoko growled and then smirked viciously, remembering
that Ryouga-person's parting comment.
   "Who's Akane?"  Ranma remained silent.  "An old
girlfriend, did she get fed up with you leave or
something?  I don't blame her, I don't see how anbody
could..." Ryoko stopped as she saw Ranma start to
glow, and felt the temperature drop several degrees.
   "She was...taken," Ranma said after a long moment.
Ryoko noted the sudden uninflected tone to his voice.
   "So was Tenchi."  Ranma nodded, and Ryoko watched
as the glow faded and the temperature returned to
normal.
   "I shouldn't have said that," Ranma said quietly.
   "Me either," Ryoko admitted.  They remained quiet
for a moment in shared grief.  Then Ryoko was up in
Ranma's face again.  "But this WOULDN'T have happened
if you hadn't tossed my sake!"
   "Wha...NOTT AGAAAINNN!!"  Ryoko listened with
satisfaction to the sound of the splash.
   "Why'd I do that?" she asked herself before turning
back to find her bed.  At in the lake a red-head was
asking a similar question.
*******************************************************
   Nagi examined the blue planet below her carefully.
She wouldn't have expected Ryoko to come back here.
It was too obvious, much too obvious.  She hadn't even
given herself the chance to heal that wound.
   "What are you playing at Ryoko?" Nagi asked as she
held orbit.  She frowned, there had to be a trick
somewhere.  It would be better to be cautious than to
be dead.
   In all likelyhood Ryoko knew about Nagi's premature
departure from the battle.  Nagi hoped so, vengence
would make Ryoko fight harder.  Nagi wanted this kill
to be a truly legendary accomplishment.
   "Tomorrow, Ken-Ohki, tomorrow we pay her a visit,"
Nagi snickered.  ~Now how to get the cabbits out of
the way.~

=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" -
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom

Signed
He of Too Many Names (Thrythlind/Thryth/Luke/Hyperbole/Pika/Pooka)

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html