Disclaimer: All characters from Tenchi Muyo are the property of AIC and
Pioneer. Please do not bring legal action against me, as I am a college
student with no money to spare. I'm making zero profit from this.

                             ONE

        The commander of the king’s guard was six and half feet tall,
dressed in a uniform that barely contained his huge jelly-like stomach.  His
blunt face split in a grin, making his hair stubble stand on end.  He took
another swig of beer from his mug, his eyes crawling over his lieutenants.
They were smiling back at him, while going green in the face.
        “Just can’t decide which of ya should be mi second.  Heh, heh, heh,
heh.”
        “Well, sir, I have excellent command abilities and all my marks are
higher than Kiyone’s -“
        “Whaaat!” Kiyone grabbed her by the collar.  “That’s a blatant lie.
Is there anything you won’t stoop to?”
Mitsuki smiled patronizingly, brushing off her hand.  “Huh.  You’re just
jealous, Kiyone.”
        “Why you -“
        “Anyway,” continued the commander.  “I want you two to handle the
new tax collection.”
        “A new tax, sir?” Kiyone frowned.
        “Yup.  Just ordered by the king’s brother.” He took another swig.
        “But surely only the king himself should decree new taxes. . .”
        “We have out orders, lieutenant,” he growled.  “Understood?”
        “Yes, sir.” She nodded.
        The door flew open and Mihoshi stepped inside, carrying a platter of
roasted venison and a fresh mug of beer.
        “Here you go, sir.” She set it down.
        “Thanks.  Ya know, maybe I should make you my second in command.
Eh?”
        “WHAT?!?” Kiyone and Mitsuki were poised to attack Mihoshi.
        “Well, thanks, sir.” She giggled.  “But no, sir.  I think that
Kiyone should be your second in command, because she is very competent.”
        “Really?” He turned to Mihoshi.
        “He’s listening to her.” Kiyone grinned fiercely.  “For once she’s
-“
        “She’s so concerned about how you’re treating the soldiers,” she
continued with serious expression.
        “Whaa?” Kiyone’s face fell.
        “She says that you’re the worst commander she’s ever served under.”
        “Mihoshi, no!” Kiyone lunged at her.
        Mitsuki tackled her to the stone floor.  “Tell him more, Mihoshi,”
she called out sweetly.
        “OK.  And she says your treatment of the common people is just
deplorable.” She looked to Mitsuki.  “You think that’s enough, Mitsy?”
         “Oh, just a little more.” She smiled, one hand clamped down on
Kiyone’s mouth.
         “Well, all right.  Kiyone says you’re fat and you smell and you’re
stupid and -“
         “Thank you, dear.” The commander smiled fondly at her.  Then he
turned in his chair and slammed down his fist on the table.  “Stand on your
feet, lieutenants.”
         Mitsuki pushed up off of Kiyone’s body to standing position.  She
offered at hand up to Kiyone, who glared acid at her.  She got up by
herself.
        “Is that right, lieutenant?” he demanded, glaring at Kiyone.
        “Uh, sir, well. . .I. . .uh, heh-heh. . .I, um. . .I guess so, but I
didn’t mean that -“
        “Fine!  Mitsuki, you’re my second.  Organize the tax collection.” He
stomped to his feet.  “Dismissed.  Unless you’d like to stay, Mihoshi?” he
asked, hopingly.
        “Uh, no thank you, sir.”
         The three of them exited the commander’s office.  Kiyone’s clenched
fists were pressed at her sides.  She glared at Mihoshi.  Mitsuki laughed.
        “I’ll see you at seven o’clock tomorrow morning, junior lieutenant.”
        “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not be involved. . .ma’am.”
        “Seven, tomorrow.  That’s an order.”
        Kiyone saluted and Mitsuki walked away.  She rounded on Mihoshi.
        “Uh, did I do something wrong?” Mihoshi smiled.
        “Wrong?  Mitsuki is now our commanding officer and it’s all your
fault!”
        “But you aren’t angry are you?”
        Kiyone laughed maniacally.  “Not at all.  Come here.”
        “I don’t think I want to.”
        “Why not?”
        “You’re looking sorta upset there, Kiyone.” She laughed nervously.
        “You’re dead, Mihoshi!  Aaaah!”
        Mihoshi ran away with Kiyone in hot pursuit.
                                ***
        The floor of the small church was covered in dust.  Tenchi moved
along
between the pews, sweeping the dust into a pan.  He stopped for a moment to
stretch full-length.
        “Tenchi?”
        “Yes, grandpa?” he answered.
        “Is she going to visit you today?”
        “Grandpa.” Tenchi blushed.  “I don’t know.”
        “She’s a lovely girl.”
        “She’s also wanted by the authorities.”
        “Then, why don’t you turn her in?” he inquired.
        “Why don’t you?” Tenchi countered.
        Grandpa laughed.  “You’ve got me there.”
        “Should I put out the bread and wine?” he asked.  “I already did the
holy
water.”
        “No, I can see to that.  Why don’t you sweep out front, and get some
fresh
air?”
        “All right.”
        Tenchi moved out front and immediately resumed his chore.  Not five
minutes
later, arms wrapped around him from behind.
        “Hey -“
        “Tenchi,” she whispered.
        “Would you not sneak up on me?”
        “I didn’t.  I was in plain view the whole time.”
        “Ryoko.” He rolled his eyes.
        “Isn’t this boring.” She tugged a little on his arm.
        “The church has to look clean for people who come to visit.”
        “It isn’t Sunday.”
        “Ever heard of something called confession, Ryoko?” he asked dryly.
        “Why bother?  I’d only do it again, anyway.”
        Tenchi began to struggle in her arms a little.  “Come on.  We’re in
front
of a church.”
        “I know.” She squeezed him in a tight hug.  “Why don’t we get
married?”
        “Uh, I’m really not-Ryoko, someone’s coming.”
        Looking infinitely hurt, she released him.  Tenchi sighed and smiled
at the
elderly woman, who was approaching.  He recognized her face, but couldn’t
place her name. Grandpa would know.
        “The friar isn’t ready yet for confession, ma’am,” he told her
politely.
        “I haven’t come for that, lad,” she chuckled.  “I’ve a piece of news
I’d
impart on him.”
        “This way.” He escorted her inside.
        Grandpa was already approaching.  He smiled warmly.  “Ah, Mrs.
Thorn.  How
are you, today?”
        “I’d be better if I hadn’t had to lay down five silvers half an hour
ago.”
        “So much?  For what purpose?”
        “A new tax,” she said grimly.  “They ain’t supposed to tax the
churches,
but I bin hear’n otherwise.  Thought I’d warn ya.”
        Friar Yosho’s mouth was a line.  “I thank you.”
        “Here.” She handed him three coppers.  “Consider it a donation to
the
church.”
        “You are very kind.”
        She smiled and left.  Tenchi ran to his grandfather.  “What’ll we
do,
grandpa?”
        “Pray to God that they overlook us.”
        “Yes.” Tenchi nodded.  “We can’t have more than. . .”
        “Two silvers if we’re lucky.” Yosho smiled.  He glanced around
behind
Tenchi. “Where is Ryoko?”
        Tenchi turned around, seeing that she was gone.  “I don’t know.” He
felt a
small twinge of guilt.
        “Well, continue with your chores and pray.”
        “Yes, grandpa.”
        He’d completed the whole length of the cobblestone walk, when he saw
uniforms heading for the church.
        “Oh, no,” Tenchi whispered.  He hastened back inside to find his
grandfather looking out the window.
        “Our prayers weren’t answered.”
        “They were.” Yosho replied.  “It simply wasn’t the answer we
sought.”
        The door flew open and three uniformed women entered.  The red head
was in
the lead, the long, dark-haired one staring at her.  The blonde smiled
happily.
        “Hi, everyone.” She waved.
        “Mihoshi,” hissed the dark-haired woman.
        “I’m sorry to disturb you so early in the day,” said their leader.
“But
churches are no longer exempt from taxation.”
        “I see.” Friar Yosho folded his hands.  “Do we get a reduction?”
        “Yes.  Four silvers instead of five.” She smiled.
        Tenchi clenched his broom, staring angrily at the woman’s
self-important
face.
        “But we don’t have any income,” Yosho protested.
        “Sure you do.” She pointed to the collection boxes.
        “One is for the needy and the other is for church upkeep,” Tenchi
snapped.
        “Four silvers, gentlemen.”
        Friar Yosho went back to his study.
        “Mitsuki. . .”
        “Silence, junior lieutenant.  We aren’t in an informal situation.”
        The dark haired woman looked at Tenchi, and he felt she was
conveying her
outrage to him.  It made him feel a little better.
        Grandpa returned with a small wooden box.  He handed it to the one
called
Mitsuki.  She opened it and rifled is contents.  She closed it.
        “There’s scarcely two silvers worth in here,” she informed him.
        “It’s all I can offer,” he replied softly.
        “Mihoshi?”
        “Ma’am?”
        “Confiscate their collection boxes.”
        “But that’s-“
        “Tenchi.” Grandpa placed a hand on his shoulder.
        “Gee, Mitsy.” Mihoshi frowned.  “That is kinda mean.”
        “Junior lieutenant, you do it.”
        “Mitsuki -“
        “Now, Kiyone!”
        Kiyone closed her eyes for a moment.  Then she picked up the
collection
boxes.
        “Count them,” Mitsuki ordered.
        She opened first one, then the other.  “Maybe a silver between
them.”
        “The collections aren’t taxable!” Tenchi exploded.
        “Neither was the church,” Mitsuki pointed out.  “Tell you what.  I
won’t
shut you down just yet.  You’ve got twenty-four hours to come up with the
last silver.”
        Tenchi lunged at Mitsuki, swinging his broom.  Mitsuki drew her
sword and
chopped the broom in half in the same stroke.
        “Guards!” she shouted.
        Soldiers burst in the church.
        “Arrest these two.” She pointed at them with her sword.
        “Over a damned silver?” Kiyone couldn’t stop herself.
        Mitsuki rounded on her.  “May I remind you that attacking an officer
is a
serious offense?”
        “Armed with a broom!”
        “Enough, madam,” Yosho cut in.  He smiled at her.  “The thought is
very
much appreciated.”
        Tenchi dropped his broom and was seized by two of the soldiers.
Friar
Yosho allowed himself the same fate.  They all exited the church.
        “This church is hereby closed for use until the remaining tax is
paid on
it,” said Mitsuki.
        A soldier stepped forward and nailed the decree on the front door.
        “Sorry, grandpa.” Tenchi hung his head.
        Grandpa nodded silently.
        “And junior lieutenant?”
        Kiyone fought to contain herself.  “Yes, ma’am?”
        “I’m putting you on guard duty with Mihoshi.”
        Her fists clenched up, despite her best effort.  Mitsuki smiled at
her.
                          ***
        Ryoko ran up the path to the small church, clutching a bag of coins.
She
stopped dead, when she saw the notice on the door.  She threw the bag full
force at the door.  Coins spilled everywhere.
        “Damn those greedy bastards!  Where did they take Tenchi?”
        She checked around and soon learned that they had been arrested and
thrown
into the castle dungeon.  Seething with anger, slipped inside the castle
while the drawbridge was down.  It wasn’t that hard to accomplish.  Her
concern was leaving with two more people, but she didn’t let that bother
her.  An opportunity would present itself.  As she drew nearer to the
dungeon, her outrage increased at the thought that they had locked Tenchi in
such a dark, dirty place.  She moved down the spiraling staircase, resisting
the urge to take a lighted torch.  It would signal her presence.  Her eyes
adjusted by degrees to the darkness.  She tried to stay in the shadows of
the torches that lighted the hall.
        Ryokoe froze when she saw a blonde woman leaning back in an wooden
chair.
She released her breath, when she realized the woman was sound asleep.  With
ginger, feather light touches, Ryoko searched her for keys, but came up with
nothing.
        “Oooh.” She grinned.  “Haven’t had a sword since the last time I
split.”
        She slowly drew the sword.  Ryoko entertained the idea of killing
the
woman, but decided against it.  A dead body would probably upset Tenchi.
She moved on past and began checking cells.  Then she heard distant voices,
and quickened her pace.  She snatched a torch along the way and knelt in
front of the low grill in the door.
        “Tenchi?” she whispered.
        “Ryoko!”
        She could see his kind brown eyes, though a shadow from the grill
was on
his face.  “I went to get money, Tenchi, but I was too late.”
        “No, it’s my fault.  I attacked one of the officers, so they threw
us in
here.”
        “Tenchi, who’s there?” came Friar Yosho’s voice.
        “It’s Ryoko.”
        “What?” Grandpa’s face appeared.
        Ryoko set the lighted torch on the floor.  “I’m gonna break you guys
outta
here.”
        She wedged the tip of the sword in the lock and started prying.  The
metal
was bending, but slowly.  The lock was new with no rust on it.  She heard
nothing, but Ryoko knew that someone was coming up from behind her.  She
spun around, sword ready.  The woman was a little taller than Ryoko, and
dressed just like the blonde-haired one.
        “Hmmm.  I think I’ve seen your face before.  Ryoko, right?  Wanted
for
countless robberies and the occasional murder.  I’m surprised you haven’t
made yourself known here in the capital.”
        “Hey, I’ve been behaving myself lately, officer,” she said
derisively.
“You’re the jerks who started this.  There’s no way I’m leaving my friends
in this dump.  Wanna fight?” She flashed a smile.  “I’m ready.”
        “Kiyone?” called a whiney voice.
        The blonde-hair practically ran into Kiyone.
        “Mihoshi!”
        “Sorry, but the torch is missing, so I couldn’t--Hey, that’s my
sword.”
        “Want it back?” Ryoko pointed it at her.
        Mihoshi cringed behind Kiyone, trying to grab her arm.  Kiyone
shoved her
away.
        “Kiyone -“
        “Not now, Mihoshi!”
        “Your move, Kiyone,” Ryoko said intently.
        Kiyone sheathed her sword, and pulled out a ring of keys with a loud
jingle.  She walked past Ryoko and unlocked the door.  Tenchi pushed on it
from the other side and stumbled into the hall.  Friar Yosho followed behind
him.
        “I don’t understand,” Ryoko said, eyes narrowed.
        “Yeah, Kiyone,” added Mihoshi.  “I thought Mitsy -“
        “I’m disobeying orders, Mihoshi.”
        “Huh?”
        “I believe firmly in law and order, not the oppression of poor
people.”
        “You’re a little too good for me,” replied Ryoko, still poised to
fight.
        “All right,” Kiyone rolled her eyes.  “I hate my superior’s guts!”
        “Heh.  That I’ll buy.” She relaxed her posture.  “Just don’t try to
arrest
me.  Got it?”
        “Then, shouldn’t we be going?” asked Friar Yosho.
        “Yeah, but I don’t know how to hide this many people. . .” Ryoko
frowned.
        “I know a way,” Kiyone volunteered.  “But it’s long and slimy.”
        “Not the sewers.” Ryoko wrinkled her nose.
        “Escaping through the sewers was part of our training.” She
shrugged.
        “I think we’d better follow her advice,” said Friar Yosho.
        “Yeah, I guess.” Ryoko nodded.
        “But what about me, Kiyone?” Mihoshi started crying.
        “Just tell Mitsuki you fell asleep, and you don’t know where I am.
She’ll
believe it.”
        “No, Kiyone, you can’t leave me!”
        “Then we’re heading for the sewers, right now.” She started walking.
        Mihoshi followed at her heels.  “But it’ll smell bad,” she whined.
        “Will you shut up, Mihoshi!”