Wellcome to the first chapter of 
Ryouga Hibiki L.I.S. {lost in space}
A companion story to
Tenchi and Ranma, together forever!?
If you have not read TARTF, then I suggest you do.  It will make
certain parts of this more understandable.  This section fits in the
time frame between the fourth and fifth chapters of TARTF.



An alternative universe, semi fusion saga.
     The Characters from Ranma 1/2, were created by the brilliant
Rumiko Takahashi.
     The Characters from Tenchi Muyo, were created by Hitoshi
Okuda, may his wrist never go limp. 

Louis-Philippe Giroux, has very kindly posted the earlier chapters of
this story at the following address.
<http://www.anime.usacomputers.net/~dragon/>
If you have not already done so, check out his story,  Lines of
Destiny, at the same location.  It's well worth the time.

<> indicates a foreign language being spoken.

What has happened before. 
In this universe Ranma has, as a result of a run in with Herb of the
Musk Dynasty,  been trapped as a female from her first dip in the
Nyanniichuan.  She is not aware of Herb's part in this.  She believes
she is trapped as a result of falling into several springs right after
falling in the Nyanniichuan. [She was a little upset with Genma, and
it was foggy.]  She has spent the three months prior to this story
getting used to being a girl, and while she is not happy about it, she
has adapted to a certain extent.
     Genma sank into despair,  his son's loss of manhood scuttled
his plans to retire in comfort to the Tendo training hall.  Then, while
looking through some old papers in his backpack, he came across an
old agreement, written on a bar napkin, between himself and
Noboyuki Masaki that was drawn up prior to Ranma's birth.  It was
a commitment to marry Noboyuki's son Tenchi, to Genma's child, if
Genma should happen to have a daughter. 
     After a brief, very convincing, and completely phony, display of
attempted suicide on Genma's part, Ranma reluctantly agreed to
fulfill her obligation to carry on the Saotome clan's blood line by
marrying Tenchi. 

     While exploring her new home town, Ranma ran into Ryouga
Hibiki, and while she did not remember him, out of sympathy for the
lost boy she escorted him to the train station.  The possibility of
scamming a free meal from the overly shy boy never entered her
mind, really.  
     Ranma only told Ryouga her name as she was leaving him. 
Putting two and two together, and surprisingly getting four, he gave
chase, but took a wrong turn.  Big surprise.  The question is, how big
a wrong turn did he take?

Now, on with the story, read, enjoy.  It's good for you.
T.H. Tiger
schell@interlog.com

     

     Ryouga Hibiki.
`    Lost in space.  Part one
     Danger, Ryouga Hibiki, Danger
     Or: Piiigggssss, iiinnn Sppppaaacccce.
     

     Three months ago: Jusenkyo.

     Two young men wonder along the outskirts of the Valley of
cursed springs.  One of them dressed in an tiger stripped outfit,
while the other is dressed more mundanely with the exception of a
ratty, old grey fur cap.  The one in the Tiger stripped outfit brushed
aside some of the undergrowth that obscured the rim of the valley
floor, and thrusts a banana he held in his other hand into the
opening.  With a noticeable lack of enthusiasm, he crooned in
Chinese, "<here Monkey, Monkey.  Come and get it boy.>"
     "<Girl, Lime.>" The boy in the fur cap said.
     "Eh?" The other boy glanced over at his companion, a puzzled
look on his face.
     "<The Monkey.  It's a girl now.>"
     "<But it was a boy Mint.>"
     "<True, but it's a girl now, and thanks to the Chiisuiton it'll
stay that way.> " Lime  couldn't  argue with that, much as he would
have liked to do so.  A good argument would go a long way toward
relieving the tedium of their present task.  They continue to walk
along in silence, their expressions and pace giving every indication
that they are bored out of their skulls.
     "<Mint?>" Lime said, pausing in his activities.
     Mint looked over at Lime, and stopped walking as well. 
"<What?>"
     "<Don't you feel a little bit silly?>" Lime asked.  He held up
the banana he was carrying.  "<I mean, wandering around trying to
lure that nasty monkey out with this.  I don't know why Herb-sama
would want to find it.  Not after what it did to him.>"
     "<Her!>"
     "<No, he used some hot water just as we were leaving.  He's a
he now, not a she.>"
     "<Oh.  I guess your right then, but he might have gotten wet
again, so her would be right.>" Mint looked pleased at this
reasoning.  He waited for Lime's comeback, but the Tiger boy only
looked pained, and said.
     "<I hate these curses.  They make my head hurt.>"
     Mint nodded in agreement, "<I wish we could go home, but you
didn't hear Herb-sama's father when he found out what we did.  He
was very mad.  He told Herb-sama that one does not make a girl just
to satisfy your curiosity.  He told Herb-sama that the Monkey girl
was his responsibility, and he was not to come home until he found
her." Mint sighed, in despair, the way things were going, they would
be here for a very long time, then a thought occurred to him, and his
face brightened.  Turning to Lime he said, "<I just thought of
something.>"   
     "<What's that?>"
     "<If we find the Monkey, we get to see bare titties.>"
     Lime paused in mid stride, a look of shock on his face.  Then
he started frantically pawing through the bushes, crooning, "<here
Monkey, sweet little bare titty Monkey.  Come out, come out
wherever you are.  Let Uncle Lime have a good look at how you've
grown.>"
     Mint grinned, but then as Lime began to move away from him
he frowned.  "<Hey, no fair, I thought of it first!>" he shouted after
Lime.  He rushed ahead of the Tiger boy and began to paw the brush
aside himself.  Lime, seeing this, rushed ahead of him, and so they
began to leapfrog each other down the side of the valley.  They were
so intent on not letting the other get the first glimpse of bare titty,
they missed noticing that they had moved out of the main valley, and
were traveling up a small gully that cut through the high cliffs 
surrounding that side of Jusenkyo.  The tall walls overhung the
narrow gorge, and threw it into perpetual shadow.  The shadows
gave the gully a dark and ominous air that both boys ignored.
     As they moved farther up the small gorge the brush and trash
that had fallen from above over the years made the going more and
more difficult.  Mint, much to his disgust, finally had to let Lime
lead the way, using his superior strength to clear aside the
obstructions.  Lime, for his part was so intent on his activity, and on
moving ahead, that he did not notice when the next object he tore
from his path was not a tree, but a signpost containing a very long
name, and an extremely stringent warning, as well as trailing several
tattered wards from it's placard.
     Tossing the signpost off to the side, Lime took a step forward,
and if Mint had not grabbed the back of his coat, he would have
tumbled into a small pool surrounded on all sides by dense in-
penetrable undergrowth.  Lime gasped, and leaped backward, his
heart pounding.  Together he and Mint stared at the small pool.  
     Turning to Lime, Mint said, "<Do you think it's cursed?  It's
awfully far away from the valley.>"
     "<Do you want to test it?>" Lime said, backing away from the
crumbling edge of the pool.
     Mint looked down at his own footing and hastily backed up. 
"<No, I think I'll ask the guide later.>"
     A sudden sound in the underbrush caught their attention, and
they both looked in the direction it came from, worried expressions
on their face.  This was Jusenkyo, anything could be in the bushes. 
The worries fled when a black furred form pushed its way out of the
brush and looked up at them in entreaty.  Or that was its intention. 
The face in front of them was not really suited for looking at anyone
with entreaty.  Its face was far more suited for expressions promising
either rape, mayhem or random acts of senseless violence. 
     Mint grimaced, "<That is the ugliest cat I've ever seen!>" A
sudden growling in his stomach caused him to pause, and he
finished his statement by saying.  "<Let's eat it.>"
     Lime looked disgusted.  "<Just because your ancestor was a dog
. . .>"
     "<Wolf!>" Mint said with some heat.  "<She was a wolf, not a
dog.>"
     "<Whatever.  I just wish you'd think of me that's all.  My
ancestor was a tiger. I can't go around eating cats.>" He looked
closer. "<It is a cat isn't it?>"He said.  His voice expressing some
doubt as he took in the scared and seamed visage looking up at them
through one eye, the other having been destroyed long ago, if the age
of the scar across it was any indication.  As he stared at the maimed
animal in front of him, his stomach growled as well.  A thoughtful
look crossed his face.  "<Let's toss it into the spring of drowned
piglet, then we can both have something to eat, and it'll be a lot
more tender.>" 
     Mint blinked, he tried to think of some reason why not, not
wanting to give in to a plan proposed by Lime so readily.  Then, as
his stomach growled yet again, he nodded in agreement.  He
crouched down, and crooned, "<Here kitty, kitty, come to uncle Mint
you ugly black bastard, there's a good boy.>"
     

     Back at the Jusenkyo Guide's home. 
     "<I assure you sir, the people in the surrounding area are very
familiar with the springs.  If they see a naked young girl behaving in
the manner of a monkey.  They will bring it to my attention.>" 
     The Jusenkyo guide, for what felt like the hundredth time, was
reassuring the Musk Dynasty Prince that the girl the prince had
created, to find out more about females before he was to meet his
arranged bride, would be found if she was still in the area.  All the
while he carefully kept his distaste from showing.  He was not fond
of the Musk the best of times.  They no longer engaged in the
practice turning innocent animals into human females with the
Nyanniichuan, and then taking them for brides, not for over two
hundred years, but the distaste he had felt when he had first been 
taught the history of the springs still colored his views of the Musk. 
He knew better then to let that distaste show however.  The prince
was not known for his tolerance.  The Guide thanked the gods that
the Prince had not been trapped like young Mr. Customer.  He
shuddered at the thought of Herb's attitude at that time of the month,
if his current behavior was any indication of his normal aggravation
level.  
     He also felt a slight twinge of guilt.  He knew full well why
young Mr. Customer was trapped as a girl, and would remain that
way.  He had heard the Musk that day, and now knew they had been
to the Nyanniichuan the day Mr. Customer fell in.  They must have
doused her with water from the Chiisuiton by accident, thinking she
was the monkey they were currently searching for.  
     He could have told her the truth.  But he had learned enough of
her character to know what her reaction would have been.  She
would have confronted the arrogant Prince, and demanded he restore
her masculinity.  Better by far that she be given the time to become a
girl naturally, then to be forced to do so by the prince, and have to
learn the hard way.  The Musk's insular nature would have led them
to believe that Mr. Customers speech was gibberish.  The chattering
of a monkey.  They would have taken her back home with them, and
forced her to learn how to become a girl.  Mr. Customer would have
fought, and that was where the danger lay.  The guide was fully
aware of how potent Herb and the rest of the Musk warriors were,
and how little thought he or they would have given to Mr. Customers
struggles and protestations.  Mr. Customer might have been
seriously injured in the struggle to turn him into a proper girl.  No,
he had done the right thing in not telling her the truth, he told
himself.  
     
     A sudden motion from the man beside him brought the guide
 out of his musings. 
     
     Herb drew himself up, and was about to arrogantly demand
more positive measures be taken in finding the girl, when the sound
of distant screaming distracted him.  "<What?>" He started to say,
when the source of the sound dashed past, and made all questions
unnecessary. 
     
     "<Get it off, get it off, get it off!>" Mint yelled, as he raced by
his Prince and the Guide.  Attached to his back was what appeared to
be a small black tornado.  Close on Mint's heels was Lime, waving
the trunk of a good size tree and yelling. 
     "<Hold still Mint!  How can I hit it, if you keep running away
like that?>"
     The two boys and their playmate disappeared over a low rise,
but soon circled around behind it and re-appeared headed back
toward Herb and the guide.
     With an annoyed look on his face, Herb raised a hand, and
almost casually blasted the black whirlwind from Mint's back with a
Chi blast.  "<What is the meaning of this?  I told you to find the
Monkey Girl, not to play with the local wildlife!>"
     "<We're sorry Herb-sama.>" Lime said contritely.  He picked
up the limp body of the creature Herb had blasted, and held it up for
his prince's inspection.  "<We were hungry, and were going to drop
this old cat we found in the pool of drowned piglet.>"
     The Jusenkyo Guide looked in horror at the limp animal in
Lime's hand.  He reached over and tugged frantically at the hem of
Herb's shirt. 
     Herb turned and glared at him.  "<Stop that!  I am a prince of
the Jakou-Maneki, not a hand wipe.>" Ignoring the guide's efforts to
inform him of the mistake his men were making, he turned back to
them.  "<As for you two.  Are you fools?  This is Jusenkyo, and you
speak casually of throwing that animal into the spring of drowned
piglet.  Have you no sense?>"
     The guide heaved a sigh of relief.  At least one of them had
some realization of the possibilities.
     "<Take the creature and throw it into the spring of drowned
deer.  That way there will be enough for all.>"
     The Guide face faulted. 
     "<Where is the Spring of drowned Deer?>" Mint asked.
     Herb told him, and then told him again.  After the second time
through the directions, he  snatched the limp body from Lime in
annoyance, and said.  "<Never mind, I'll do it myself.>"
     The Guide, who had recovered slightly, raised a hand, and then
let it drop.  What was the use?  They never listened.  Well, they
would find out soon enough that the animal was a cursed form.  He
recognized the creature.  He hoped it had not originally been the
same species as its present form.  That was one personality the world
was well rid of.  It was unlikely however.  The old monk had warded
that spring heavily, in order to prevent that specific situation from
ever arising. As long as the creature who fell in was not the same, all
it would acquire would be the body, and not the mind.  He shuddered
as he thought of the tales he had heard of the original.  He decided to
take a walk over to the remote spring later, and make sure all was in
order.  No telling what those two fools might have done.
     Sitting down he pulled out his pipe and started to tamp some
tobacco into it.  As he lit it, he mused about the creature that was
currently on its way to an unexpected swim.  Going over in his mind,
the features listed in the old scrolls.  
     Black as the inside of a demon.  Check.  
     An eye like a ball of fire. Check.  
     The other eye closed permanently as a result of the scar that ran
from its chin to its forehead.  Check.  
     Ears tattered and chewed from a lifetime of battle.  Check.
     He frowned suddenly.  There had been nothing in the scrolls
about a yellow diamond shaped jewel in the middle of its forehead,
which was peculiar.  It was the sort of thing you would think they
would mention.  
     He took a puff on his pipe and blew out a cloud of smoke. 
Round about now the three of them should be reaching the spring of
the drowned dear.  He imagined the cold water would revive the
animal.  He sat and puffed a little more, then stood and walked down
the path to watch the show.  Soon he heard distant yelling, and in
the distance three figures appeared, moving rapidly toward him.  A
little while later a very tattered looking Herb-chan went running
past.  The now familiar black Tornado on her heels. 
     "Get it off, get it off, get it off!" She screamed, just a touch of
panic entering her normally haughty voice.
     "Hold still Herb-sama.  I'll knock it out." Lime cried, once
again swinging his tree trunk bludgeon around his head in vast
circles.
     Mint meanwhile had noticed that the cat had left very little of
Herb-chan's shirt in one piece, and was calling out in tones of
entreaty.  "Herb-sama, run this way.  Please Herb-sama, come this
way.  At least turn around. Please Herb-sama, I want to see titties."
     The Guide watched as the four of them disappeared in the
distance.  Well, at least he should have a little peace while the Prince
recovered from her/his would be meal.  
     Maybe she'd learn not to bite off more then she could swallow. 
At the very least, she should learn that it was hard to blast something
with chi, when that something  was currently bitting chunks out of
your ass.  He tamped another bowl full of tobacco and thought for a
moment about what he had observed of the prince. 
     <"Naaaa"> he said to himself, and lit up.

     
     Present time: Shopping district near the Masaki home's former
location.

     Ryouga Hibiki was back on earth, and it had only taken him a
day to do it.  Not only that, he was back where he started from, only
a block or two from where he had met the girl calling herself Ranma
Saotome.  Luck was surely smiling on him.  Soon he would know if
she was in truth his hated rival, or whether she was, as was much
more likely, someone whose name he had misheard.  
     Over the last three days, he had come to doubt more and more
that she could possible be Ranma, his Ranma anyway.  She was too
cute for one thing, and much too kind.  She had taken him to the
train station with no thought other then charity.  His Ranma would
never have done that, not unless he had some ulterior motive.
     He chastised himself once again.  How could he have thought
such a sweet innocent girl was that coward Ranma.  Still, even
though he was now sure he had misheard, he could not afford to let
any lead, no matter how slim, go by.  Unlikely as it seemed, the
Jusenkyo springs made it a possibility that the red headed girl could
be Ranma, and that was something he could not afford to overlook.
     He had lost all trace of Ranma after following him to the valley
of sorrows.  He was sure Ranma had come back to Japan, but
Ryouga's family friend, Uncle Hiricho, had not been able to find him
listed in any of the school districts, so if he was back in Japan, he
was not attending any schools.  That left Ryouga without a clue as to
where to look next.  So, lacking any other goal, he might as well
search out the red head.
     He smiled a rather sappy smile to himself.  While the little red
head likely knew nothing that could help him, he could think of
worse ways of spending his time than by looking for her.  All it
would take was a dose of hot water and he would know positively if
she was, or was not the coward he was looking for.  And if, as
seemed likely, she was not . . .  He closed his eyes, and pictured her
cute face in his mind again.  The sappy smile spread further across
his face, and then was wiped clean away as an unwelcome, but
familiar voice cried out.

     "YOU!!  The practical joker!"
     Ryouga's eyes flew open, his daydream shattered, he stared in
horror at the shrunken figure of the old storekeeper who had
threatened to call the police on him three days before.  

     The old man was as happy as his sour disposition allowed. 
Last time he had been foiled in his efforts to teach this punk some
lessons by that red headed tramp, much to his disgust. Now he
looked up at the startled and shocked boy with glee in his eyes. "Got
you now boy!  No little trollop around to save you this time!"  The
old man cried out in triumph.  His glee was short lived however. 
The instant Ryouga got over his shock, he turned tail and bolted,
leaving the old man coughing in his dust.  Weakly, in a thready
voice, he cursed the disappearing boy, vowing to get him eventually.
     The old storekeeper's mood was not improved when he turned
to go back into his store, only to find his way blocked by some purple
haired street walker who was using his newsstand as her personal
library.  One by one she was picking up the sleaziest tabloids, and
leafing through them carefully, not missing a single page of lurid
pictures.  When she was done with each one, she dropped it to the
ground and took another, an action that drove the old man almost
mad with rage.  Practically dancing, so intense was his anger, he
screamed at her. 
     "Get out, get out!!  Take your wares and peddle them
somewhere-" His diatribe cut off abruptly as he starred cross-eyed in
shock at the long, and very sharp sword, that had appeared
seemingly from nowhere, the tip of which was now pressed against
his Adams apple. 
     Meanwhile the girl seemingly payed him no mind whatsoever,
not even sparing him a glance as she continued to leaf through the
various publications on the counter with one hand, while her other
hand held the sword steady as a rock.
     At last she gave a happy cry of satisfaction, and pulled a page
out of the paper she was currently perusing.  Turning to the old man,
who by now was quite pale, she held up the page and said, "you see
girl?  Or panda?"
     Afraid of doing anything to upset this obviously deranged
person, the store keeper obediently looked at the page she had thrust
in his face.  The headline, DINE AND DASH PANDA
PHOTOGRAPHED, showed the story on that page to be about an old
topic.  For the last two months the tabloids, and even some of the
more mainstream papers had been talking about the dine and dash
Panda.  
     The creature got its name from its first appearance. Some crazy
waitress  claimed to have seen one of her customers change into a
Panda, and in the ensuing panic caused by its appearance she said it
had run off without paying for its meal. 
     It had been a one day joke on the local newscasts.  It would
have been forgotten by the next day, but then other reports started
coming in of a very large Panda wondering the islands.  The local
Zoo's all claimed their Pandas were accounted for.  The PROC,
claimed all the Pandas in their country were accounted for, thanks to
their superior bureaucracy.  However, they said, if there was a Panda,
he, or she, was the property of the PROC, and must be returned at
once.  Since then, Panda sightings had become such a common
occurrence, that now, two months, and many wild Panda chases
later, only the cheapest tabloids paid the slightest attention to them.
     Now however, there was a new element to the story.  At least
according to the paper in front of him.  Someone had finally gotten a
clear shot of the mysterious Panda.  Something that had never
happened before.  That alone had convinced the more sensible
people that it did not exist.  In a land of fanatical photographers,
how could such a creature go un-photographed.  That had changed
now.  
     There it was, as plain as the nose on his face.  It was walking
down an empty street in a pouring rain.  And trailing along behind
it, hauling two large backpacks was . . .
     "Her!!  The tramp!!  It's her.  I'd know that sneaky little piece
of baggage anywhere." Forgetting all about the girl with the sword,
he snatched the page from her hand, and began to peruse the story
intently.  To his disappointment, there was no real information on
the girl, only speculation that she might be a runaway circus
performer who had taken the Panda with her. 
     The old man was suddenly reminded of his female visitor,
when the sword that had been pressed against his throat was
withdrawn, and a hand like iron replaced it, pulling him around to
face the purple haired girl, who was quite angry at being ignored.  At
the same time, under the anger she seemed pleased.  She shook him,
and demanded.
     "You know girl!  Where is Girl?  You tell Shampoo.  Now!!"
     The old man gasped and choked until she realized that he
needed air to speak.  Releasing him, she stood there waiting for an
answer, fingering the edge of her sword suggestively as she did so. 
He looked at the sword and gulped.  Hurriedly he recounted his
encounter with the red haired girl.  And ended up by saying.
     "She must have taken the dumb one for all he was worth pretty
quick.  Either that, or it did not take long for them to complete their
'business'." He practically sneered the word 'business'.  He
continued quickly when he saw the girl in front of him frown
angrily.  "Anyway, I saw her later the same day.  She was walking
home with the Masaki kid.  Busy little tramp."
     "Where this Masaki?"

     A little while later, Shampoo starred in disbelief at the vacant
lot in front of her.  A house had rested here.  That was easy to see,
and if her skills as a tracker were to be believed, the ground had not
been exposed to the elements for more than a day or so.  But how
was it possible.
     "Looking for someone deary." The voice of an elderly woman
spoke out from behind her.  Turning, Shampoo spied the source of
the voice, an older woman, an inquisitive glint in her eyes.  She was
dressed rather plainly, and had a pair of eyeglasses hanging from her
neck by a gold chain.
     Shampoo bowed in respect to the elder, and pulled out the
newspaper page she was still carrying.  "Shampoo look for this girl. 
Old man at shopping store, he say she come here with Masaki boy. 
You know?"
     "Hmm, let me see," the old woman said.  Reaching down, she
took hold of her eyeglasses and held them between the  page and her
eyes.  "Hmm, can't say as I've ever seen the girl before." Shampoo
dropped her head in disappointment, but the woman's next words
brought her head back up just as quickly.
     "I wonder if she's young Tenchi's Fiance?  When Masaki-san
called me this morning he mentioned that Tenchi's new fiance was
staying with them out by the shrine." She paused and looked over at
the now vacant lot.  "They were very fortunate to be out when the
gas explosion destroyed their house.  It blew out windows for blocks
around.  Completely destroyed their house, not a scrap of it left.  It
was almost as bad as that time . . ." She would have kept on for
hours, but Shampoo interrupted.
     "Where shrine?"

     Some distance away, a pair of foreigners, dressed all in black,
took in the scene with some satisfaction.  Or at least the older of the
pair did.  The younger of the two was not altogether happy.
     "Gas?  You people have been using that old wheeze about
swamp gas for fifty years man.  Couldn't you come up with anything
a little more original K?"
     "It does the job Slick, that's all that matters.  Come on, we have
a flight to catch."
     "So we going out to this here Misaki shrine?"
     "Nope, out of our jurisdiction."
     "Out of our jurisdiction!?  I thought the whole earth was our
jurisdiction.  What's so special about this Masaki place."
     "Sorry slick, need to know only, and you don't need to know. 
Let's go home." The older man turned and walked away, his
companion following after, complaining all the way.
     "Need to know, need to know!  What is this crap?  I thought I
got to know everything!  How the hell can I do my job if you give me
this need to know shit?" His voice faded out as their clothing
blended with the darkness, and they disappeared.


     Present time: one hour later, somewhere.
     
     Ryouga ran with all his might, trying to put some distance
between himself and the crazy old man who seemed determined to
put him in jail.  Ryouga had a positive phobia about small enclosed
spaces.  No doubt a result of living most of his life under an empty
sky.  The thought of being locked up, unable to travel, filled him
with dread.  Not that he would not have objected to a little curtailing
of his present range of travel that is.
     
     It had started shortly after Jusenkyo.  He would turn a corner
and there would be two suns in the sky, or three moons.  The
animals would have six legs instead of four.  Then he would turn
around another corner, and everything, and everyone would be back
to normal.  It had taken him awhile to accept the fact that he was
leaving the planet entirely, but even with his talent for self denial, he
had finally had to admit what was happening.
     
     Ryouga plowed to a halt, just barely avoiding running down the
three foot tall Tyrannosaurus rex that was walking down the street in
front of him.  The small tyrant king did not notice, being deep in
conversation with a six foot mouse.  Ryouga looked around
frantically and made out no less then eight distinct species of what
appeared to be intelligent life. 
     His head slumped, and he moaned in despair, "Not again."
Then, he quickly gathered himself together and looked for a good
place to hide.  Bitter experience had taught him to make himself
scarce until he had determined how the locals felt about people with
his appearance.  
     Spying an alley, he ducked into it.  This was not as good a
hiding space as it might have been on Earth.  Being as it was well
lit, broad, and clean.  Hurrying down it, he came to what he was
looking for.  A cross lane that ran along the back of the stores that
fronted the street he had just vacated.  This was much more cluttered
than the main alley, being filled with refuse bins.  Best of all, there
was no one in it other than himself.  Deliveries would be made in the
late evening, but for now, it was a sanctuary. 
     His respite was short lived.  Before he had time to gather his
thoughts, and plan what he was going to do, voices coming from the
main alley warned him to make himself scarce. 

      He had barely managed to slip himself inside a large refuse
container when four figures barged into the side alley.  Only the fact
that the attention of the three larger creatures were completely on the
smaller one saved him from discovery.  Hastily he lowered the lid on
his container down, leaving only a slit through which he could
observe the proceedings.
     Ryouga blinked as he took in the scene in front of him.  What
looked like two large hairless dogs dressed in uniform brown outfits
with placards hanging around there necks were accompanying the
biggest snake Ryouga had ever seen.  And that was saying a lot
considering some of the places he had been.  They were currently
threatening a small barn yard animal. 
     The animal in question gave every indication of being nothing
more than a black piglet.  It looked to weigh in at about ten to fifteen
pounds, and had hooves rather then hands and feet.  Its body's shape
showed that it would be most comfortable going about on all fours. 
All in all it had none of the characteristics Ryouga had learned in the
last month or so that meant intelligence.  Despite its appearance
however, it gave every indication of being fully sentient.  It was
currently, in defiance of its body's shape, standing on its hind feet
pleading with the giant snake.  Apparently the pig had neglected to
pay an outstanding loan, and the others were here to collect. 
     "Please.  Just one more day.  The contract was not due for
another day. I'll have it in just one more day." The terror stricken
little alien cried.
     
     To his amazement, Ryouga had discovered in the last few
months that all aliens spoke Japanese.  It was puzzling, but
convenient, and he was not a person to look a gift horse in the
mouth.  He never stopped to consider that everyone on earth also
seemed to speak Japanese, he just took that for granted.
     
     "To late Oolong." The snake said in answer to his victim
pleading.  "You knew the conditions when you borrowed the money. 
You were given two payment options.  You defaulted on the first,
now I'm collecting on the other.  Boys!" The last was directed at the
two thugs flanking the little alien. 
     They took their cue, and each of them firmly grasped one of the
smaller alien's legs and they hoisted him high into the air over the
snake.  All the while the small pig was protesting that he had one
more day to go on his loan.  Ryouga gasped in horror as the snake
raised his head, and unhinged his jaw.  "Down the hatch Oolong."
The snake said, his voice greatly distorted by his wide spread jaws.  
     Two dripping fangs, at least four inches long, dropped down
from the roof of the snakes mouth.  Glistening drops of some form of
liquid sparkled on the tip of each backswept fang.  For a second the
small alien hung still, terror apparently having frozen him.  Then, as
the two hench creatures started to lower him, he began to squeal and
cry in panic.  "You can't do this, it's illegal. I'm a sentient being."
     A look of anticipation glinted in the eyes of the snake.  "Not
any more my dear friend, now you're lunch."  He elevated his body
slightly to hasten his meal.
     Suddenly, the small pig seemed to contort his body in a manner
that should have been impossible, given his shape.  Somehow,
however, he managed to twist around, and sink his fangs, even more
impressive for his size then snake's had been, into the hand of one of
the thugs holding him.  With a muffled curse the thug let go.  The
little pig was left hanging by only one leg, swinging side to side as
the thug still holding him tried to avoid his companions fate.  For the
snake's part, the thugs  employer bobbed and weaved his head,
trying to keep his gapping jaws under the wildly gyrating pig.

     A sudden whirring in the air was the only warning the snake
had as a blurred yellowish something flashed through his wide open
jaws.  He felt two small objects fall into the bottom of his mouth, and
reflexively, he spat whatever it was out.  For a second he stared in
shock as the severed remains of his fangs dropped to the ground,
unable to believe his eyes.  Then he looked up, a dangerous glint in
his eyes.  He glared daggers at the humanoid biped currently
climbing out of an open refuse bin.
     "761-617, 671-176, kill him." He said to his thugs in a furious,
highly controlled voice.

      With a minimal effort, denoting frequent practice, the two
hulking thugs moved into action.  The one still holding the pig,
simply dropped the smaller alien, dismissing him as unimportant in
the coming event.  They walked toward Ryouga, and together, in
perfect choreography,  flicked their wrists, causing a heavy length of
metal to slide into each of their hands from up their sleeves.  A
leather tether was wrapped around their wrists, assuring that
whoever they were fighting could not relieve them of their weapons
of choice.
     "You shouldn't ought to have done that little buddy." The
larger of the two said in a rather high pitched voice for such a large
creature.  "Now we're going to have to hurt you bad."
     "What he said." The other one said in a deep base. 

     Ryouga slipped his belt out of the loops on his pants, and with a
flick of his wrist, aided by a slight push of Ki, caused it to straighten
into rigidity.  He was almost trembling in the intensity of his rage. 
The way the little alien had fought back against overwhelming odds,
had gained Ryouga's admiration, and the casual way the three thugs
had treated the other alien, behaving as if he was some sort of quick
snack had hit a nerve, and gained them his enmity.  Combining all
that with the frustration of being lost so far from home, after so
recently being there, made him even more disinclined then would
normally be the case to back down from the two large creatures. 

     The two aliens were at that moment eyeing Ryouga's belt with
jaundiced eyes.  They clearly did not like the look of it, but it was not
giving off the telltale high pitched whine of an illegal vibro sword,
and gave no other sign of being of any real danger, so they advanced,
batons held at the ready.  Then, in a smoothly practiced move, they
lunged, the smaller one went high, aiming for Ryouga's head, the
larger one brought his arm around in an arc that ended with his
weapon traveling up between Ryouga's legs. 

     Ryouga casually moved his belt into the path of the smaller
aliens bludgeon.  This had the result of leaving the thug holding a
stub.  Unable to stop it, his arm continued its forward motion, and he
was forced to continue moving in a stumbling series of half steps in
order to keep from falling on his face.  It was a wasted effort.  As he
leaned forward, Ryouga's leg traveled upward, and caught him in his
large soft belly.  He let out an agonized whoof, as he flew backward
and slammed into the wall.  As he fell limply to the ground, a small
bag came loose from his belt.  The small black piglet saw this, and
began to make his way cautiously around the fight.  Heading straight
toward the small bag.
     Ryouga looked after the first alien for a second, gauging his
condition, then he looked across at the other alien, who was gazing
at him in shock.  Both their gazes traveled down to where Ryouga's
free hand was grasping the canine's  weapon.  It had been stopped
just short of Ryouga's family jewels, having smacked solidly into an
immovable object.  Namely, the palm of Ryouga's hand.  He looked
back up at the alien, and shook his head sorrowfully.  Then his eyes
filled with rage, and he slowly brought his hand up, dragging the
weapon, and the alien who was attached to it by the lanyard around
his wrist, upward.  With a bunching of his muscles, Ryouga heaved,
and the creature wailed as it was sent sailing through the air, to
impact the wall besides his fallen comrade. 
     Ryouga turned his attention back to the Snake, who was in a
state of shock.  He looked, first at Ryouga, then at his hired help. 
For a second he looked uncertain, then his eyes fell on the severed
fangs laying on the ground in front of him, and his expression
hardened.  Looking up at Ryouga, he stared intently at the lost boy. 
Then he began to talk.
     "Now, now," he said, in a soft voice.  "There is no need for
violence.  We were only trying to throw a scare into the little fellow. 
We never meant him any harm.  Why don't we discuss this like
civilized creatures?" His eyes seemed to bore into Ryouga's, and the
lost boy found himself sinking into their swirling depths as the snake
melodious voice droned on.

     Over by the two fallen aliens, the little black pig looked over
his shoulder and grimaced.  Kaa was up to his old tricks, using Ki
manipulation of his voice to mesmerize a victim.  Normally he
restricted it to the voters, preferring his meals struggling.  It looked
like he was prepared to make an exception in the young bipeds case
however.  And it looked like the youngster was falling into the trap.  
     Oolong grinned nastily.  It was most unsporting of Kaa.  He
would have to do something about that.  Nosing through the bag in
front of him, he freed two lumps of metal that rolled out and stopped
when he placed both front hooves on them.  They shimmered for a
second, and then unfolded and wrapped themselves around each of
his front hooves.  A few seconds later he stood up on his hind legs
and looked in satisfaction at the two cybernetic hands now adorning
the ends of his legs.  They might not be up to his usual pair, but they
at least gave him a chance to join the fight.  Not that he would be
able to do much against someone the size of Kaa.  Not for the first
time he cursed the limitations of his body.

     His people were a second generation intelligence.  Created
when a company on their home planet had tried to breed a superior
pet.  The scientist they hired for the job was a little too good at it. 
Instead of producing a friendly, intelligent, easily trained house pet. 
The scientist had produced a genetically stable race whose intellect
rivaled the residents of their home planet.  
     Galactic law allowed no fancy interpretations of its rules
regarding sentient beings.  If they were intelligent, they had rights,
and so the members of the new race were granted citizenship.  
     That had been over seven thousand years ago, and now
Oolong's people were valuable members, not only  of the culture of
their home planet, but also of the galactic community as a whole.  
     There were problems however.  Because of their origin, they
had never  naturally evolved grasping members, a great disadvantage
for a sentient race.  Galactic law forbid  inheritable genetic
manipulations of a sentient species.  Any member of his race who
could afford the gene surgery could be altered and grow hands, but
the modifications could only be surface.  Permanent changes that
would be passed on to his or her children were forbidden.  It caused
a great deal of bitterness among some members of his race.  But on
the whole, the general population understood the reasons.  
     Most members of his race settled for cybernetic hands.   They
were as good, if not better, then the real thing, and much cheaper. 
The company that had created them had been forced to take parental
responsibility, and the trust fund set up so many years ago supplied
the money needed to supply all of his people with the artificial
hands.  Cybernetic vocal cords were also part of the package. Their
only disadvantage over biological systems, was the ease with which
they could be removed or disabled.  
     Which was what had happened to Oolong.  He had been taking
by surprise, and his hands neutralized and removed before he could
put up a good fight.  Still he had managed to put the third of the
three brothers out of action.  He would be a long time recovering
from that bite, Oolong thought with a mental chuckle.  Might even
keep him from fathering more little bastards. There were more then
enough of his clan polluting this planet with their presence. When
you were as small as Oolong was, you quickly learn that fighting
clean was a good way to get killed.
     
     Looking back over his shoulder at the two still figures of his
rescuer and Kaa, Oolong saw that he had no time to waste.  Kaa had
already thrown a loop of his body around the strangers shoulders,
and was staring intently into his eyes from a distance of only a few
inches.  Thank the hundred little gods that the stranger had clipped
Kaa's fangs, otherwise, he would be on his way to Kaa's stomach,
and whatever manner of afterlife his people believed in.  As it was,
Oolong would have to act fast.  Even without his paralyzing poison,
Kaa could still do the intruder in by crushing him in his coils. 
     He hurried over to the two almost stationary creatures.  But
once there, he was at a loss as to what to do.  As soon as he had
donned his Cyber hands, he had sent out a cry for help, using the
built in transceiver, he had also switched on a recording device at the
same time.  Help would be a while arriving however.  He had to do
something now.  Un-like his normal hands, these cheap loaners had
almost no offensive capability.  That left him with his limited natural
arsenal.  He eyed Kaa's thick body for a second, then discarded any
idea of biting the snake.  The only part of Kaa he could get his jaws
around was his tale, and all that would do, would be to make Kaa
madder then he already was.  That left the stranger.  Oolong
grimaced.  It went against his nature to treat the one who had saved
his life this way, but he had no option.  Crawling over one of Kaa's
coils, he opened wide, and sank his teeth into one of the bipeds lower
limbs.

     "Ahhhhh!! shit!  What the hell!?" Ryouga screamed.  Bending
forward as fast as he could, he reached down to dislodge the small
pig that had attached itself to his legs by its teeth.  In doing so, he
slammed his head into the snout of the snake whose mouth was
inches from his face.  The snake recoiled in pain, and Ryouga
suddenly realized how close he had come to being eaten, again!  A
rage, that made his previous anger pale in comparison, filled him,
and he once again reached downward, but not for the pig this time.
       Resuming his downward swoop, he wrapped his arms around
the massive column that was Kaa's mid section and heaved.
Straining every muscle in his body, he stood upright, and began to
spin. 
     
     There is a much used saying on Earth as to the room needed to
swing a cat, dead or otherwise.  There is no such reference in regards
to Reticulans, of which species Kaa was a member.  There were
several reasons for this, but the main and principle one was, the
average length of a Reticualan adult runs in the neighborhood of
between thirty five and forty feet.  There simply are not that many
places one could swing one.  That is, if one had the desire to do so,
lots did, and if one had the ability to do so, which very few did.
Ryouga however, had both the inclination, and the ability, as an
astounded, but pleased, Oolong and a dismayed Kaa were
discovering.  
     
     "Shwhack" Oolong smiled in appreciation as Kaa's head
impacted on the side of the alley with a meaty sound.  His tail
followed soon after, and then his head again as Ryouga whirled in
circles.  Kaa tried desperately to coil himself down his own body to
get at his tormentor, but some force was keeping his body rigid.  Try
as he would, he could not force it to bend to his command.  Soon he
gave up trying, his scrambled brain no longer able to send messages
down the length of his body.  
     Sensing his foe's helplessness, an exhausted Ryouga released
the whirling snake, and let him fly across the alley.  He impacted the
alley wall above his hirelings with a meaty, squashing sound..  The
two thugs, who had recovered consciousness some time before, were
in the process of sneaking away when Kaa's seven hundred pounds
hit the wall above them.  They both looked up, panic filling their
eyes as they contemplated their immediate future.  Then their
expressions turned to looks of dull resignation as their boss slid
down the wall, and pinned them under his inert body.

     The sounds of sirens filled the air, and Ryouga looked around
in panic.  One constant in the universe he had found, was the fact
that police used loud strident horns or sirens to announce their
coming, thereby giving any able bodied criminal a chance to escape,
and leaving the halt and the lame to fall into the gentle hands of the
local constabulary.  Looking around frantically, Ryouga spotted the
form of the little black pig he had gone to all this trouble for.  It was
marching in a determined way toward the fallen snake. 
     While Ryouga could sympathize with the little alien's desire for
vengeance, they had no time for it.  They had to get out of here, now! 
Ryouga's childhood had left him with a habit of obedience and
respect toward the police.  Various officers had returned him to his
home innumerable times, usually sticky with ice cream.  However,
his relations with them over the last several years were not as
pleasant.  The police officer who would buy a lost child an ice cream,
and offer comfort, took an entirely different view toward a lost
teenager.  Especially if he happened to get lost in some ladies
bedroom or bath.  Ryouga earlier experiences, and cultural
upbringing, would not let him offer resistance to a police officer.  So,
he had learned to make himself scarce when they were around, or
about to be. Taking two long strides, he swooped down and plucked
the little pig from the ground.  "Come on, we have to get out of
here." He said.
     "Put me down you hairless tree humper!" The little creature
ordered in a loud voice.  "I have a job to do, and I'm not going
anywhere till it's done.  This, is one job I'm not letting anyone else
have the pleasure of doing."
     "You can't, the police are coming.  We have to get away from
here."
     "You big idiot.  I am the police!!!"
     Ryouga froze.  Looking down in disbelief, he saw that the small
creature had activated some sort of device in the metallic palm of his
left hand, and a glowing hologram floated in the air over it.  Ryouga
had no idea what it meant, but something in the little pig's eyes
made him believe he was speaking the truth.  His stomach fell.  He
was trapped, no escape.  As he stared at the little creature in his arms
with numb resignation, a hoard of assorted creatures dressed in a
common uniform piled into the alley. 
     "Put the Inspector down, and raise your grasping extremities to
a position where we may observe them!" One of the larger creatures
yelled, while pointed the requisite BFG at him.
     "Belay that!" The little black pig yelled in return. "This is not
the criminal!  The criminals are over there you damn pinheads!"
     While the assorted police officers looked on in surprise, the
little alien jumped from Ryouga's arms and trotted across to the
fallen snake, his cybernetic hands curled up to act as feet.
     "You must be mistaken sir.  That's counsel member Kaa."
     "No mistake officer." Oolong said, his voice cold enough to
freeze air.  "I'm afraid Counselbeing Kaa has a rather unsavory
habit." Reaching the fallen Reticulan, Oolong, reached forward and
peeled back an eyelid.  Shaking his head, he turned to Ryouga. 
"Goddamn it kid, you really did a number on him.  It's going to be
hours before I get to read the son-of-a-bitch his rights."
     Ryouga, looking nervous at being surrounded by police, even if
none of them looked remotely like the officers from back home,
shuffled his feet.  "I'm sorry, I was just . . ."
     "Crap kid, stop apologizing for everything.  You did good, real
good.  If it weren't for you, I'd be well on my way to being snake
shit." His comments caused several officers to look up, expression of
disbelief on their faces.  The ranking officer ventured a question.
     "What is the Counselbeing charged with, if I may ask sir?"
     "The charge is attempted ingestion of a sentient species." The
various uniformed officers murmured in shock.  This was as about as
serious a charge as could be laid in a multi species culture, far
outweighing something as minor as murder. 
     
     The Reticulans were pure carnivores, whose nature necessitated
them eating their food very, very fresh.  This had caused certain
rumors that some members of that race had acquired a taste for some
of the smaller species in the galactic federation.  But it had been
generally dismissed as a racist rumor.  If it was not . . .this could be
bad. 
     "Are you sure sir?" The lion like officer who seemed to be in
charge of the locals said.  "We have a very large Reticulan
population.  It would be very bad if the general populace should take
it into its head that they are eating other sentient beings in the
population. We could be looking at massive rioting."
     "And what are you suggesting officer, that we allow the
Counselbeing to go his way, and hope no one else ever stumbles
across his little gastronomical hobby." Somewhere during the last
minute or two the small black pig had acquired a thick black cigar,
or cigar equivalent.  He now shifted that to the corner of his mouth
and sneered up at the local cop.  "For your information, It was the
Reticulan ambassador who asked that I be assigned to investigate
this case.  He seemed prepared to take the risk of adverse publicity. 
Or do you believe officer, that because this scum here has certain
unsavory habits, that the whole race is tarred with the same brush? 
Not a very enlightened attitude I'm afraid." Oolong shook his head
in mock regret.
     "Or maybe it something different that motivates you?" Oolong
suddenly said, in a voice as cold as the liquid hydrogen down at the
space port.  "Kaa had no reason to ignore the contract I signed with
him. He knew my cover identity couldn't make the payment.  He had
no reason to do me in today.  As far as he should have known, he
could have looked forward to a buffet tomorrow.  But all of a sudden
he just had to have a Brinigin dinner.  I wonder.  Do you suppose
someone could have let him know that I was not all I seemed?" 
     Oolong took the cigar from his mouth and looked speculatively
at the lit end for a second.  Then he looked up at the much bigger
officer.  "Say, you were the only one who knew that fact." He said in
a nonchalant voice.  Then his expression hardened and he snapped
 out.  "Weren't you!?" 
     While Oolong had been talking, the leader of the police
contingent had grown progressively more nervous.  When he made
the finale denouncement, the officer turned and bolted.  Straight into
the chest of a massive alien cop, who looked for all the world like a
Minotaur from Earth's legends.  The would be escapee found himself
staring at a small pair of pilot wings just before he bounced back to
land on his ass.  He bared his fangs at the obstructing officer, who in
turn bared his.  The difference between the teeth of a carnivore and a
herbivore were graphically demonstrated for anyone caring to take
notes, no one.  However, despite the feline officer's much more
impressive fangs,  the sheer bulk of the bull man, and the look in his
little red eyes kept the cat man firmly on the ground.  

     Oolong sauntered around the fallen officer, ignoring the angry
glare the feline directed toward him.  Shaking his head in sorrow, he
said.  "I'm very disappointed in you Bilford.  Your great aunt
Felicity was my partner for years.  She's going to be very
disappointed in you."
     Bilford snarled at the pig in front of him.  "It's she who
brought shame to her ancestors.  To think she associated with such
as you.  Our revered ancestors Anna and Uni must be writhing in
there graves."
     "If they are, it's because they have company." Oolong said with
a smirk.  "The only fights those two were ever any good at were the
ones between the sheets.  And I should know, I was there when they
tried for the empress." He shook his head ruefully.  "What a pair of
bimbos."
     "You food creature, how dare you!!" Bilford screamed.  He
lunged at Oolong, who had walked up between Bilford's spread legs
while he had been talking.  Bilford's claws were fully extended in
preparation of ending the little creatures life right then and there. 
His roar suddenly turned into a whimper, and his lunge ended inches
short of the little pig. 
     Moving with deceptive speed, Oolong had reached forward as
Bilford started his lunge, and using his cybernetic hand, had grasped
Bilford in an area common to most Bipedal mammalian males.  His
undercover hands might lack the capabilities of his own personal
digits, but the fingers did end in satisfactorily sharp points.  A fact
that Bilford's tearing eyes gave mute testimony to.
     Oolong gazed up at the whimpering cat, a look of disgust on
his porcine face. "I should really lay some serious hurt on you
Bilford.  You turned a fellow officer over to that pile of crap over
there." He said, gesturing at Kaa.  "You abused my trust, and worst
of all you shammed your great aunt, who spent years earning back
the reputation your distant aunts cost your family. But I'm an officer
of the law.  I'm not going to do a damn thing other then turn you
over to the proper authority.  I'm not going to let my personal anger
affect my judgment.  I'm not going to sink to your level." Heaving a
regretful sigh, Oolong released his grip, turned and took a step away,
then he paused.  His shoulders seemed to hunch, and he slowly
turned back.
     "The hell I'm not!!!" He yelled! With that, he swung both arms
forward, cyber hands curled together into one big fist.  With a meaty
thunk, he buried them into his foes most sensitive spot.  What little
bare skin the feline possessed turned pale green, and with a
wheezing groan he curled up into a ball and fell over onto his side,
hands cupped protectively over his abused midsection.

     "Leave him!" Oolong ordered, when the other officers moved to
secure his fallen foe, several of them keeping their bodies turned
sideways to the angry black pig.  "He's not going anywhere for a
while.  Let him thing about what he did.  Let him think of how the
mighty hunter couldn't even stand up to a little Brinian."
     Oolong gave the fallen being one final kick, then he turned and
looked Ryouga up and down.  "Come on kid, let's get something to
eat.  You can tell me all about why you were hiding in that trash
container while I fill my belly." The pugnacious pig turned to the
large Minotaur officer who was now in charge,  "You have my
number, call me when the honorable council being Kaa wakes." It
was not a request.  Not paying any further attention to any of the
beings in the alley, he headed out. 
     Ryouga's nervous expression came back in spades.  He was
feeling a little lost, and not just geographically,  and more then
slightly out of his depth.  He seemed to have lost control of his life
sometime in the last few minutes.  Having no other option at the
moment, he followed after the little pig as it trotted out to the alley,
trailing a cloud of smoke like an toy steam locomotive from the cigar
that had never left his mouth during the fight.  As he strolled along
behind the pig, he could not help but think of an old saying he had
once heard.  Something about no good deed going unpunished.

     With a sigh of pleasure, the little pig leaned back in his
specially constructed chair, and belched loudly.  "Don't know about
you kid, but almost getting eaten makes me ravenous,"he said with a
grin.  An attentive waiter appeared with a check, and a large black
cigar.  "Thank you." The strange alien said.  Bitting the end off the
cigar, he lit it up and placed it in his mouth.  Blowing out a puff of
fragrant smoke, he watched as it floated lazily in the air for a few
seconds, then swirled up to some sort of vent in the ceiling, never
quite reaching Ryouga's nose.  Several puffs later, he looked over at
Ryouga. 
     "So kid I'm agent P, special branch.  Who are you?  And what
brings you to these parts?" He said in a laconic voice.  The agent's
interest was not nearly as casual as he made out.  The young being in
front of him had set his instincts to quivering.  Beings who could do
what he could do were rare and far between, and they were generally
well known.  
     The basic scanner built into his undercover hands could make
nothing of him.  When he had used it on the way over it has shown
nothing but gibberish.  It must have been damaged in the scuffle
where his hands had been confiscated.   So he shoved aside all the
fancy gadgets, and got down to good old fashioned nosiness. 
     "I thought your name was Oolong?" Ryouga asked in a puzzled
voice.
     "That was just my undercover name." He explained.  "Oolong
is a poor little simp, whose ripe for the plucking.  Agent P is a mean
nasty son-of-a-bitch no criminal would come within miles of.  Now, I
believe you were going to tell me some things." The tone in his voice
this time said he was not to be diverted from his inquiry.

     Ryouga thought for a minute.  While it was a rather bizarre
thing to be holding a conversation with a ten pound pig, he had
witnessed, and participated in, stranger things.  Something about the
little alien made him feel he could trust him.  And he had witnessed
graphic proof there was a lot more to him then his appearance would
indicate.  So he broke down and confessed.  Looking anywhere but at
his dinner companion, he said.  "I'm lost. I don't know where I am. I
don't know how I got here, and I don't know how to get home." His
voice almost broke under the strain of admitting this.  What he said
next was even harder.  "Please, can you help me?"
     The little alien looked at him with sympathy, and asked a few
more questions.  What he learned filled him with anger.  The boys
story of finding himself on different planets with no memory of
crossing space was the clincher.  It was obvious what had been done
to the poor sap.  Some short handed, larcenous, free trader had taken
him up on his home planet, probably worked him like a dog.  Then
as soon as he reached a space port where he could acquire  a trained
crewman, had dumped the poor primitive after erasing his memory. 
It was wonder the son of a snake had left the poor clod his universal
translator.  He thought for a few minutes, puffing away on his cigar,
which had shrunken to a well chewed stub while he had talked with
Ryouga.  He decided to see if he could find any memories that might
identify the scum who had picked him up. 
     "You say this all started when you visited a place called
Jusenkyo on your home planet?"
     Ryouga nodded his head.  "That's right, I had chased Ranma
there and . . ."
     "Ranma?"
     Ryouga grimaced, "it's a man to man thing.  He ran out on a
challenge, and I was trying to find him.  I managed to trace him to
Jusenkyo, and that's where it happened."
     "What?"
     "I changed, was changed.  I slipped and fell off a cliff.  I wasn't
worried, it was not that high, and there was a pond at the bottom.  I
fell into the pond, and when I came to the top, I wasn't me any
longer.  I had turned into something else." 
     Agent P raised an eyebrow, but made no comment and Ryouga
continued.
     "I heard some people talking, they were wondering if the pool
was cursed.  I thought they must know what had happened to me.  I
crawled out of the bushes and tried to ask for help.  They. . . they."
Ryouga voice twisted, and his expression blazed with rage.  "The son
of the bitches tried to throw me in another pool so I would taste
better when they ate me!!!!"
     P rocked back from the force of Ryouga's voice.  "That would
explain why you were so ticked off at Kaa anyway.  I had wondered
what possessed you to butt into a fight with someone his size."
     "I would have anyway.  It was not a fair fight, you needed
help."
     "So you changed, and these people tried to change you into
something else so you would make better eating.  What happened? 
You seem to be fine now.  Or is this what you changed into?"
     "No, this is my real body.  As to what happened, I managed to
fight them off.  My other body is not much bigger then you, but it
has sharp teeth, and good strong claws.  They'll remember me for a
long time."
     "Good for you boy, but how did you cure your curse?" Only his
years of training allowed Agent P to keep his voice accepting.  The
bastards had really messed up this kid's mind.  And the only reason
he could see to do it was recreation.
     "Some time later I slipped into a hot spring.  I was feeling dirty
and grimy, and everywhere I went, people avoided or chased me.  As
soon as I got in the hot water I was normal again.  I thought I was
cured." Ryouga laughed bitterly.  "I found out differently the next
time it rained.  I was turned back into my cursed form.  I eventually
worked it out.  Cold water causes the change, hot water changes me
back."
     "So you're saying that if I were to splash you with cold water,
you'd change into a form only a little bigger then me?" P asked, his
 voice finally leaking a little scepticism.
     Ryouga, stung by his tone, reached out and grasped a glass of
drinking water.  A moment later a bug eyed Agent P was gazing at a
bundle of clothing where the boy had been seconds before.  Suddenly
a small bulge under the clothes moved, and a feline head poked its
head up through the neck of Ryouga's shirt. 
     P started back, his heart suddenly racing with activistic fear. 
He shook it off quickly.  He and fear were old friends.  Hopping up
on the table top, he tipped the cup of tea Ryouga had been drinking
during dinner over on the fierce looking creature the boy had
become.  Seconds later, Ryouga was straightening his clothes, and
giving P a, I told you so look.
     For his part, P looked down at the stub of a cigar in his hand,
and then spit out the other end he had bitten of when he had first
seen Ryouga's cursed form.
     "I'll give you this kid.  That's one of the nastiest looking
creatures I've ever seen.  If you'd been wearing that in the alley, I
swear, Kaa would have backed off." Shaking his head he continued. 
"That's the most incredible thing I've ever seen, but I don't see how
it could have anything to do with you finding yourself lost on other
planets, with no memory of how you got there."
     Agent P suddenly noticed that Ryouga's attention was no
longer on him.  Instead, the boy was gazing across the room, his
teeth clenched in anger.  Ryouga started to get up never taking his
eyes off of whatever it was that had gotten him going.  P turned on
the table top to look in the direction Ryouga was looking in.  What
he saw immediately explained Ryouga's reaction, and also told him
he had to act quickly.

     "Sit down boy!" Ryouga started back at the tone of total
command in the Agent P's voice. His body reacted to that
commanding voice before his mind could.  He found himself
suddenly sitting back down, and blinked his eyes in shock at the pig
standing on the table.
     "What, but?" Ryouga said in puzzled surprise.
     Agent P kept an eye on him for a second to make sure he was
not going to do anything stupid, then he looked back at what had
caused Ryouga's reaction.  A large Reticualan, his scales dull with
age, was being led across the restaurant to a private dining area.  No
one seemed to have noticed Ryouga's violent reaction.  Agent P gave
a nod of satisfaction, and turned back to Ryouga, who was watching
the huge snake with anger in his face.  Ryoga's hands were clenched
into fist, the knuckles white.
     "Why?" Ryouga blurted out.
     "What, you figure we should have given him a thumping like
we did Kaa?" Agent P said rhetorically.  He shook his head in
dismay.  "Look kid, if you were a cadet I'd be reading you the riot
act right now.  But seeing as how you don't know any better, I'll lay
this out gentle like.  Kaa was a rat bastard, who figured that his
people are the top of the heap, and he and his friends were top of that
heap.  To him, and beings like him, the rest of the universe in filled
with intelligent animals smart enough in some ways, but not real
people.  He saw no difference between trying to eat me, and trying to
eat one of the food animals on his home planet.  Or rather, I should
say he saw no moral difference.  I imagine the bastard liked hearing
his prospective meals begging for mercy, that's the sort of person he
is."
     "But get his straight boy.  That does not make the rest of his
people the same sort of scum he is.  If you go judging other
Reticulans by him, then you're just as guilty as he was of prejudice.
"Kaa's not unique mores the pity.  Bilford was another.  Except in
Bilford case, he probably belonged to one of those Carnivore cults.
As far as Bilford is concerned, if your ancestors didn't kill their food
with tooth and claw, then they, and you, are not real people."
     "Every race has some of them.  That officer that stopped
Bilford, big guy with horns, there are people on his planet that
believe any being descended from carnivores are monsters, and
should be exterminated on general principles.  Shit!  Even my people
have their share of assholes. 
     My people were created to be pets, we ended up intelligent, but
we still have this need for companionship with larger beings, it's
built into the genes, and you don't mess with that.  Only problem is,
some of my people, they see giving in to that as a weakness.  We're
suppose to overcome that need.  Live life free and proud.  Shit! 
Some of the nicest memories I have are of sleeping in my old
partners Felicities lap while she scratched my ears.  That didn't
mean she didn't snap to when I gave an order though, she respected
me as a person.  And that's the secret you know boy.  Don't look at
beings by race.  Every single intelligent being is a separate and
different individual.  Never fall into the mistake of making
judgements based on what shape they are, at least not on their
morality anyway, I wouldn't recommend offering a salad to one of
Bilford's people, or a steak to that big fellow who stopped him.  So,
you got that boy?"
     Agent P's only answer was a rasping snore.  Agent P big
sweated "Dang, I've got to work on that speech." He gave his head a
shake, trotted over and nudged Ryoga awake.
     He jumped off the table, and headed for the door.  "Come on
kid.  The local space port has a Galactic police precinct. It's not
much, but they have a scanner.  If your planet has had any contacts
with the federation at all, your people's stats will be on it.  Soon as
we find out where you're from, we can get you home.  It's the least I
can do for you." He looked up at Ryouga who was walking beside
him, "And while you're on your feet, and not so likely to fall asleep,
I'll just go over that little speech again.  Ryouga groaned, but this
time listened with a little more attention.

     All did not go well at the local precinct.  At first everything had
gone fine.  Agent P had brought in Ryouga, explained the situation,
and told the boy to go with the young rookie who was in charge of
the desk.  The two young men had gone into the back, while Agent P
had enjoyed a quite smoke.  He had not had much time to enjoy his
cigar however.  Ryouga and the young agent had only been gone a
few minutes when the rookie had returned, his face pale.  The news
he had to impart was not to Agent P's liking.
     "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, HE'S A WANTED
FUGITIVE." The young rookie almost fell on his ass, as Agent P's
roar caused him to stagger back.  How the hell could anyone that
small make such a loud noise, he thought to himself.  Trembling, he
approached the angry little porker, and laid a data board down on his
desk in front of the agitated senior agent.  Then he put some distance
between himself and Agent P, backing up until his back was to the
wall, then he stood there, watching as the minuscule agent read the
report.

     The first thing P noticed was that the stations scanner had
experienced the same problem scanning Ryouga as his portable unit
had.  Nothing but gibberish.  They had instead fed his visible
characteristics, and what he knew of his home system into the net,
and hit the jackpot.  Three days ago, the set of the most popular
romance series in the federation had been trashed.  A special
episode, eagerly awaited by its viewership of six and a half billion
creatures had not been ready in time.  The loss in advertising
revenue was incredible, but the real reason for the galaxy wide
warrant was the fact that six local networks had been trashed by
outraged fans.  One planet, only recently having joined the
federation, withdrew.  They cited the fact that outside influences
were far to disruptive.

     Agent P shook his head ruefully, the boy certainly didn't do
things by half measure.  If there was a better recorded crime, P had
never heard of it.  There must have been over a hundred separate
recording devices on the set Ryouga had trashed.  P turned to the
young agent and said.  "Think of some sort of tests you can give the
kid.  Keep him busy.  I need to look this over.  Try to keep him
occupied for the next two hours if you can."  The agent nodded, and
P started to peruse every single one of the recording of Ryouga's
rampage across the set of All My Spawn.

     One hundred and fifteen minutes later, he leaned back with a
sigh, and twisted his head to take the kink out of his neck.  Even at
three speed it had taken him a long time to go over every recording
of Ryouga's ten seconds of fame.  And despite that, he had not been
able to find a single frame that showed how Ryouga had arrived
there, or how he had left.  But after watching view after view of
Ryouga's face, and body language, he was convinced the kid had no
idea where he was, or what he was doing.
     He lit up his cigar which had gone out while he was studying
the various recording.  Taking a deep draw, he let out the smoke in a
long stream.  Watching the smoke, he let his mind drift, making
connections and drawing conclusions.  He was still convinced that
Ryouga had been kidnaped, but now he knew it was not for
something as innocuous as cheap labor.  Someone had dropped him
on that set.  Someone who had a pretty good idea of how he would
react.  Then that some one had abandoned him on this planet. 
     There was a lot of money involved here, and the people who
would most benefit from Ryouga's action, could not chance being
held accountable.  Unlike the vast majority of the citizens of the
galaxy, they might just have enough money to pay damages, and
they would not risk that. They couldn't just kill Ryouga, and dump
his body in a sun.  That would simply leave the searchers looking for
answers.  No better to have a warm body, with some unusual
features, such as the ability to scramble personal scanners, for the
authorities to pin the blame on.  And it might have worked.  Despite
the money involved, it was rather a joke of a case, and the average
cop would simply want to see it solved and off his desk. 
     Agent P sat at the desk, cyberfingers tapping on the polished
wood, a distant look on his face.  Then with a firming of expression
he reached over and tapped a spot on the desk that would activate the
intercom.  "Get back in here would you."
     
     "But Inspector . . ."
     "No buts, this is a set up.  The kid's a patsy.  Now shut up and
let me talk.  This is what I want you to do.  You're going to put the
kid on a small courier and send him home.  You did get enough
data, you know where it is?"
     "Yes sir, It's an old Juraian colony several days journey from
here.  But we need clearance from Jurai to . . ."
     "You have it.  I have the status to grant that.  Now, after you
get him off, I am going to leak the information to some very select
people.  There is a good chance that the people who set the kid up
are not going to be happy we are just letting him go back home
without charging him.  My guess is, they will pirate the courier, and
dump him on another planet, hopping the cops there will be more
obliging.
     "But the pilots."
     "Relax, I'll be following behind.  These will be industrial
criminals.  Once we ID them, and send that information off to the
authorities, they'll back off.  When it reaches that point, they'll let
the lawyers take over."
     "But won't they jam transmissions."
     "They might try, but I have a Juraian communicator on board,
they can't stop me from sending, and I'll be sure to make sure that
they know that.  I value my own hide too much to take any chances. 
>From that point on, any action they take will be known to the
authorities, and they will know it.  They can deny any involvement
with the sabotage, and their lawyers will do just that.  Frankly I
don't care.  But if they fire on a Galactic patrol courier vessel in
front of witnesses, then no fancy lawyer can help them." 
     Agent P smirked as he thought of the screams of outrage that
would soon be coming from the major financial centers.  The nice
thing about this, was he just had to point the finger, then the lawyers
for All My Spawn would take over, and he pitied the poor sap who
was behind this not one little bit.
     Looking up at the young galactic patrol agent in front of him,
he pulled a small chip out of the data pad he'd been working on, he
said.  This is a recording of all the information I've gathered on this
case as well as the interrogation I gave our young friend while we
ate.  I've also put my report on the Kaa incident on there as well.  I
want you to get a copy of that to the Reticulan embassy, and one to
internal affairs.  That should do it. You have your instructions, carry
them out.  I want that kid on the way home in an hour."
     The young agent snapped to attention, said, "yes sir!!" wheeled
and headed out of the office.
     Agent P watched him leave, then snubbing out the rest of his
cigar, he hopped down from the desk, and went to say good-bye to
Ryouga.  He had a lot of work to do if he was going to be ready to
follow after the small courier in an hour. 

End




Many thanks to my Pre-readers.  They keep me in line, and readable,
I hope.^_^;;
Tzigane
Wade Tritschler
Jim Nutley, 
Green Eyes
 Eimii, and new to the crew
LechLord who has no idea what he's letting himself in for.

Till the next chapter.
T.H. Tiger
schell@interlog.com