Shin Ranma Muyo!:  Chapter Two
by Achariyth

Tenchi Muyo characters, places, and items belong to A.I.C. and Pioneer.  
Ranma 1/2 characters, locations, and items are the property of Rumiko 
Takahashi.  These characters are not my own.  If I ever claimed 
otherwise, I would be splashed with Spring of Drowned Carrot water to 
become Ryo-ohki's next snack.

Chapter 2 - A Day in the Strife part 1 - Into the Fire

Tsunami:=09Last time on Shin Ranma Muyo...  Tenchi learned that he and 
=09his grandfather Yosho were to leave for Nerima so that Tenchi 
=09could study under Yosho's friend, Cologne.  Ranma learned of 
=09Cologne's new student and prepared for the worst.  Finally, Ryouga 
=09wandered into the Masaki shrine and matched wits, punches, and 
=09energy blasts with Ryoko.  As the chapter ended, Tenchi left for 
=09Nerima without telling the girls.  And now, let us continue with 
=09Shin Ranma Muyo...

Opening Theme - "Truce", on Jars of Clay's Much Afraid album

=09Night fell on Nerima, and Shampoo was deep in thought.  The next 
day would bring the arrival of a new person, a new male, to the 
Nekohanten.  And Shampoo was not sure how to deal with this information. =
 
Granted, Cologne would be torturing, er... teaching him most of the 
time, but how would he react to the craziness in Nerima.  She prayed to 
her gods that this Tenchi would not take any romantic interest in her.  
She did not need another hopeless suitor.  One was enough Half way 
through her intercessions, an idea blossomed in her mind.  This might be 
the perfect chance to get rid of either Akane or that cursed Spatula 
Girl. She prayed for inspiration and her gods' blessing.  Then she set 
her alarm for earlier than usual.  Shampoo would need to practice her 
skills for the days ahead.

=09=09=09*=09*=09*

=09Shampoo awoke earlier than usual.  Slipping into her clothes 
before she left the privacy of her room, she left the Nekohanten to 
practice her skills before her great-grandmother's restaurant opened.  
Once outside, she walked to a nearby park. Upon reaching her usual 
practice grounds, Shampoo stood still and unmoving.  She stepped 
forward, beginning her unarmed combat forms practice.  She started 
slowly, then sped up during each successive repetition of the form she 
was practicing.
=09It was not often that Shampoo had time to practice her forms.  
Much of her time was devoted to either working at the Nekohanten or 
trying to win Ranma away from her other rivals.  It was only through 
sheer competition with Ukyo and Akane that Shampoo had kept most of her 
skills.  She had some time to practice every day, but not enough to keep 
her edge in the arts she had devoted her life to.  Recently, Shampoo had 
noticed that her movements were starting to become somewhat sloppier 
than she would have liked.  She had learned her forms under the watchful 
eye of Colonge, who demanded nothing less than perfection.  From her 
teacher, Shampoo learned complete and absolute perfectionism in her form 
and movements.  That, coupled with Cologne's announcement of a new 
student, drove Shampoo to practice.  She did not desire another fiancee 
in addition to Mousse's constant pestering.
=09Silently, gracefully, did the Amazon flow between the individual 
moves in her form.  A kick here, a block there, two different punches, 
then she froze in the last position in her form.  It was then that she 
heard faint applause.  Shampoo turned towards the sound, an expression 
of disapproval darkening her face.  There she saw an elderly gentleman 
and a teenage boy.  The elder gentleman grinned at Shampoo, who, using 
skills Colonge had recently taught her, sensed a strong battle aura 
around him.  The teenage boy was about Ranma's age.  While some girls 
would not find him unattractive, Shampoo was not impressed.  After all, 
she had already found her future husband already, even if he needed some 
persuasion to formally marry her.  What did impress Shampoo was that 
this boy had an exceptionally powerful aura surrounding him.  In fact, 
the auras around both men had an ethereal quality to them, something 
unlike anything else Shampoo had sensed before.  
=09"How long you spy on Shampoo?" she demanded angrily.  
=09The elder man bowed.  "Forgive me young lady, but we were passing 
by and could not help but stop and watch you practicing."
=09"You no answer Shampoo's question."  By this time, Shampoo had 
moved into a purely offensive fighting stance.  The younger man gulped, 
taking a step backwards.
=09"Just the last couple of minutes.  We're sorry if we offended 
you," the elder continued smoothly, unintimidated by Shampoo's hostile 
manner.  "Before we go, may I ask a favor?"
=09Shampoo did not like the sound of that.  She silently cursed that 
fact that she had not brought her bonbori with her.  She loved the extra 
reach they gave her.
=09"We just want directions to the Nekohanten," the younger man asked 
nervously.
=09"What business do you have with Great-grandmother?" Shampoo 
snapped.
=09"I forgot to introduce myself.  I am Katsuhito Masaki, and this," 
he said, pointing towards the young man. "is my grandson, Tenchi.  I 
believe your grandmother is expecting us."
=09Shampoo was aghast.  Slightly embarrassed, she replied, "Ai ya!  
Shampoo no mean to be rude.  But Shampoo no like Peeping Tom.  Come, 
follow Shampoo to Great-grandmother."  The trio left for the Nekohanten.

=09=09=09*=09*=09*

=09It was around 7:30 in the morning, and Cologne and Mousse had just 
started to open the Nekohanten for business. The Nekohanten's regular 
hours fell between 10-8 every day.  The daily rituals needed to prepare 
the restaurant for opening only took about an hour, but Colonge knew 
that her visitors could arrive at any time during the day.  Thus, it 
would be wise to be ready to open at any time.
=09"Mousse, if you don't work harder, I'll make Peking Duck out of 
you tonight," Cologne snapped as she worked on the grill.
=09Mousse sighed, and did as Cologne asked, knowing that she was 
fully capable of turning him into a quite tasty meal.
=09"Hmm, I wonder where Shampoo is?" Cologne muttered.
=09"She left to practice her forms," Mousse replied.
=09WHAP!  Mousse became intimately acquainted with both Cologne's 
staff and the wall.  "What were you doing near Shampoo's room this 
morning?"  Mousse just twitched silently in response, unable to do much 
more.
=09Sighing, Cologne removed her staff from the wall.  I must have hit 
him harder than I thought, she said silently when she realized she still 
had Mousse wallpaper.  Using her staff for leverage, she pried Shampoo's 
self appointed husband off of the wall.  Then she slapped him around for 
good measure.
=09"Its a good thing that Katsuhito's grandson will be training here, 
Mousse, because your skills disgrace the tribe," Cologne growled, 
knowing well that there was a reason why Mousse's skills had 
deteriorated.  If he beat Shampoo, all Cologne's plans were for naught.  
However, if Mousse was allowed to improve somewhat, then Son-in-Law 
would have to improve to beat him, giving Shampoo an even stronger 
husband.  Cologne grinned at that prospect.  Maybe I'm being slightly 
too hard on Mousse she thought.  After all, that which does not kill 
Ranma only makes him stronger.
=09Mousse just shrugged off Cologne's insult.  He had taken enough of 
the troll's abuse not to let it get to him.  Still, it would be good to 
practice so he could give that cad Saotome a worthy fight for once.
=09"Great-grandmother, I home!" a feminine voice called out.  She 
walked into the restaurant, followed by two men.
=09"Why, good morning Shampoo.  How was practice," the leader of the 
Chinese Amazons returned her granddaughter's greeting.
=09"Shampoo!"  Mousse rushed forward to embrace his beloved.
=09"Get off of me!  I'm not Shampoo," Tenchi yelled, trying to pry 
the Chinese boy off of him.  It was bad enough that he got this from 
Ryoko.  He did not need someone else, especially a male, copying his 
overaffectionate suitor.
=09"How I missed you, Shampoo."
=09"You're not listening to me.  You don't understand, I've been 
trying to tell you, I'm not Shampoo."
=09"I see our guests have arrived," Cologne stated matter-of-factly.
=09"Shampoo, you got a hair cut!"  Mousse said as he stroked Tenchi's 
hair affectionately.
=09"Um, sir, like I've been trying to say, I'M NOT SHAMPOO!  Could 
some get him off of me," Tenchi hollered.  The Chinese boy's embrace was 
beginning to cut off Tenchi's air.  "Why won't you listen to me?"
=09"Stupid Mousse. Shampoo over here."  If looks could kill, Mousse 
would be ash.  Then again, if looks could kill, Shampoo would have never 
let Mousse reach puberty.
=09Mousse took his glasses out of his hair, placing them in front of 
his eyes.  He could see clearly now.  "Shampoo!" he shouted when he 
could see his beloved.  As he spoke, he threw Tenchi face first into a 
nearby wall.
=09"Don't... mind... me," the Juraian youngster groaned as he slid 
down the wall.  Three seconds later, Mousse made a matching impression 
next to Tenchi.  Shampoo stomped upstairs, furious at Mousse
=09"I guess things around here are never dull, are they?" a male 
voice laughed.
=09"Its good to see you too, Katsuhito," Cologne replied cordially.  
"I believe you already met Shampoo, and this blind bat is Mousse."  She 
motioned to the wall as she spoke.  "I assume that's your grandson 
Tenchi?"
=09"Yep.  So what have you been up to lately?"
=09"Oh, nothing much.  Just trying to get Granddaughter a husband."
=09"She looks like she could find one on her own."
=09"True, but only one has beaten her."
=09Katsuhito blinked until a stray detail surfaced in his mind.  "Oh, 
that Amazon law of yours."  I thank Tsunami every night that your 
daughter was married when she met me.
=09Tenchi gingerly tried to stand up.  The pain ebbed from his body, 
and he felt as if nothing had happened, at least until he moved his left 
arm.  "Ouch," he said, rubbing his shoulder.
=09Cologne looked over at Tenchi.  "Looks like your grandson could 
use some toughening up.  I assume that's why you've come."
=09"Amongst other reasons."  You see, Cologne, my sister and her 
rival for my grandson are really starting to annoy me, and this is just 
a clever ploy to find peace and quiet.  Nothing more.  But I never told 
you about my sisters, and if Ayeka shows up, you will learn that I lied 
to you all these years, so I just won't tell you about it.  And Tsunami 
forbid that you learn how young my real form is.
=09 Mousse pulled himself away from the wall.  He shook his head, 
trying to clear it of the pain induced haze.
=09"Well, if that's the case, let's test your grandson's skills.  
Mousse, Tenchi wants to take Shampoo on a date tonight," Cologne 
shouted.
=09"What?  I do not!"  Tenchi protested in reply.  Then, he noticed 
the fanatical glint in Mousse's eye.  "Oh no."
=09"Stay away from my Shampoo," Mousse shouted as he flung chains 
toward his supposed rival.  Whenever Shampoo was involved, Mousse could 
recover from almost any blow to defeat her enemies.  Thus, he showed no 
signs of his earlier encounter with the wall.
=09"Listen to me, I've got my own girl problems.  I don't want to add 
to them.  Grandpa, help!" the Juraian boy shouted as he twisted and 
turned, hoping to avoid the deluge of projectiles aimed at him.  He 
tripped, avoiding most of his attacker's weapons.  The small part of 
Tenchi's mind not occupied by panic and concentration wondered about the 
sanity of his grandfather's friends.  Standing up immediately, he drew 
out Tenchi-ken to defend himself.  It's blue energy blade flickered into 
existence, creating weak shadows on the wall.  Mousse withdrew his 
chains, preparing to launch a second wave.  Thirty seconds later, 
anything Mousse threw towards Tenchi was fit only to be recycled. 
=09"You won't be needing that," Cologne said lazily as she disarmed 
Tenchi with her staff.  "Now, continue."

=09=09=09*=09*=09*

=09Cologne and Katsuhito sat at a table in the Nekohanten sipping 
tea.  Cologne was resting after working hard (or is that hardly 
working?) at training Tenchi.  Yosho just enjoyed the tea and loved the 
relative peace and quiet of Nerima.  Tenchi and Mousse were both 
enjoying a few moments of unconsciousness on the floor. 
=09"The more things change..."
=09"The more they stay the same."
=09"I see that your training methods have not changed since the last 
time I saw you."
=09"Purest gold needs no gilding, Katsuhito."
=09Katsuhito took a sip of tea before he responded.  "And my 
grandson?"
=09"He shows potential, but it will not be easy for him.  His 
swordmanship is reminiscent of yours, but not as refined.  His unarmed 
skills are not what I would have hoped for."  Cologne paused in her 
appraisal for a moment.  "That sword of his... it was the same spirit 
sword you used when we faced Happosai."
=09"Yes, I gave it to him last year."  Yosho had been hard pressed to 
come up with a convincing explanation for Tenchi-ken's more interesting 
attributes when he had joined the Amazons in their quest.
=09"He still has much to learn about the sword.  I seem to remember 
you using a shield of sorts to defend yourself against some of 
Happosai's tricks."
=09Katsuhito tried to control his surprise.  He had forgotten how 
astute an observer Cologne was.  "I will teach him more about the sword 
later.  But before that happens, he must learn to defend himself without 
the... spirit sword's powers."
=09So the sword can be attuned to another's spiritual energy, Cologne 
thought.  If the tribe can acquire the weapon or any copies of it...  
She left her thought unfinished but not forgotten.  "Speaking about old 
memories, Happosai still has not forgiven you.  If he was not distracted 
all the time, he would have sought you."
=09"Happosai is of no concern to me.  The last I heard, his students 
imprisoned him inside a sealed cave.  I doubt if I will see him again."
=09A groan was heard from the floor.  One of the young men was 
stirring on the floor.
=09"The pervert escaped and lives in the same house as my 
granddaughter's fiancee and rival.  Once Happosai learns you are in 
town, he will come here to face you, if he isn't trying to molest women 
or steal their lingerie."
=09"Some things never change."
=09"Indeed."  Was Katsuhito imagining things, or did he hear regret 
in Cologne's voice just then?
=09Tenchi stood up warily and woozily.  He took a step, then his body 
suddenly decided it hated walking.  In short, like a child trying to 
take its first steps, Tenchi fell.
=09After an awkward pause, Katsuhito asked, "So who is the lucky man 
who will marry your great-granddaughter?"  It took all his effort not to 
choke on the question.
=09"Great-grandson's name is Ranma Saotome."
=09"Saotome?  He would not happen to be Genma Saotome's son?"
=09"Yes.  You seem to know much about Happosai."  Cologne feigned 
surprise.
=09"'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.'  I believe 
that was one of your tribe's sayings."
=09Cologne laughed.  "It isn't, but it could have been."
=09"So what's this Ranma like?"
=09"Keep your enemies close?"
=09Tenchi stood up again and took another step.  This time, he 
succeeded.  Desiring a shower and rest, he crept upstairs.
=09"No, I am curious about the man who defeated your great-
granddaughter."
=09"He's headstrong, independent, and quite the fighter.  He also has 
special abilities unique to his training.  Ranma also has two other 
fiancees, both arranged, but he has no desire to marry any of his three 
fiancees at this time."
=09"I guess he needs some persuasion."  And Tenchi thinks he has it 
bad, his grandfather thought.  Oh well, these girls of Ranma's cannot be 
as bad as Ryoko and my sister.
=09"You have no idea.  We have been trying to persuade him ever since 
we arrived in Nerima."
=09Katsuhito broke out in a sweat.  Cologne could be quite 
persuasive, and her methods left much to be desired.  But before he 
could respond, he was interrupted by Shampoo's shrill shriek and a loud 
thud.  Katsuhito and Cologne dashed upstairs, Cologne taking great pains 
to inflict great pains upon Mousse's prone form as she passed him, to 
find an eraged towel-clad Shampoo trembling with rage and a Tenchi-
shaped hole in the nearest wall.  Inside the hole slept an ever more 
battered Juraian.  Yosho could not decide whether to be ashamed or to 
laugh out loud.
=09Cologne just shook her head as she recalculated her budget to 
compensate for the additional repairs.

=09=09=09*=09*=09*

=09"Shampoo, wait up!"  Tenchi yelled between breaths.  The Amazon 
was pedaling furiously on her bicycle up in the distance.  Tenchi 
running as fast as he could to follow her after her to "assist" her in 
the deliveries, although he quickly learned that Shampoo needed no 
assistance from him.  Halfway through his run, Tenchi became envious of 
Ryoko's ability to fly.
=09"I no wait for Peeping Tom," Shampoo called back as she increased 
her speed.
=09"It was an accident!  I didn't mean it!"  Tenchi hollered.  "If 
Ayeka and Ryoko find out about this..." he muttered to himself.
=09"Shampoo no care!"  She jumped her bicycle from one roof to the 
next.  Shampoo did notice that the shower incident was an accident, so 
after the mandatory thrashing that all unwanted intrusions in showers 
deserve, she had forgiven Tenchi, to a certain extent.  However, her 
behavior most definitely implied otherwise.  If she played this right, 
she might be able to lure Tenchi's affections toward Akane or Ukyo in a 
parody of the good cop/bad cop routine.
=09Tenchi gulped as he approached the edge of the roof during his 
pursuit.  He leapt, only because he did not want to be separated from 
Shampoo.  After all, Tenchi was not sure he could find his way back to 
the Nekohanten.  Unfortunately, he had not, as of yet, developed the 
impressive jumping ability that Shampoo, as well as many other martial 
artists in Nerima, had developed.  Tenchi saved himself from a very 
great fall only by grabbing the roof top with his right hand.  Straining 
as he moved, Tenchi pulled himself up onto the roof.  He had no desire 
to visit the king's horses and king's men that would need to put Tenchi 
Masaki back together again if he fell.
=09Meanwhile, Shampoo pedaled on.  She had a delivery to make, as 
well as a fiancee to date.  She was not willing to let some slowpoke of 
a new student keep her from doing her jobs.  (Trapping Ranma is a full 
time occupation.)  Besides, it served the little slime right for walking 
in on her shower.  Accident or not, even though Tenchi was forgiven for 
the sake of her plans, old habits are hard to break.  Shampoo had been 
merciful by not breaking any of his bones in the beating that ensued.  
At least now she did not have to worry about Tenchi falling in love with 
her.
=09Out of the corner of her eye, Shampoo saw something that picked up 
her spirits.  With a cry of "Nihao, Ranma!" she soared off of the roof 
and onto her fiancee.
=09"Nihao, ai ren!  Ranma date with Shampoo?" she asked.  Then she 
noticed that she, in her enthusiasm, forgotten to leap off of her bike.  
"Why you under Shampoo's bike, Ranma?"
=09"Why do you think, Shampoo?  Get away from Ranma now!" an angry 
Akane warned her rival.
=09"Hi, Akane.  Shampoo no realize you here."
=09"That's no surprise." Akane retorted bitterly.
=09Ranma twitched in pain before he spoke.  "Get.  Off.  Of.  Me," he 
commanded, his voice muffled by the concrete that he had so painfully 
become one with.
=09"Oh, sorry," Shampoo said as she moved her bicycle off of Ranma's 
head.  "So, Ranma date with Shampoo?"
=09Akane just glowered at Shampoo, visions of a battered Ranma 
dancing in her head.
=09"Hi, Shampoo," Ranma said wearily as she stood up.  Unfortunately 
for him, he was splashed by cold water by someone's glass falling from 
the railing.  His voice modulated to a higher pitch as his body 
reorganized itself into its feminine form.  He winced, not at any pain, 
but at the string of bad luck that was his since he visited Jusenkyo.
=09"Shampoo!  Where did you go?" a voice called.  
=09"Whoa, what's wrong with Mousse's voice?" Ranma asked.
=09Shampoo winced slightly since she recognized the voice.  "That not 
Mousse.  That Pervert Boy."
=09Akane glowered at her rival before she realized that Shampoo had 
not called her "Pervert Girl."
=09"Who?"  Ranma asked, confusion written across her face.
=09"Shampoo explain later."
=09"Look out!" Tenchi called.  Then Ranma winced even more when 
Tenchi, having tripped before he could jump, fell onto the much abused 
female Saotome.  Tenchi opened his eyes, and realized that he was lying 
on top of a quite attractive redhead.  A small corner of his mind 
reassured him that, no, this is not Washu.  His eyes widened when he 
realized just where on Ranma's body he had unknowingly set his hand.  
Tenchi did the only thing he could do: he blushed and removed his hand 
from Ranma's shirt.
=09"Get off of me, you pervert!" Ranma growled angrily, a bright 
battle area surrounding her form.  Tenchi complied readily, not looking 
forward to the unavoidable beating.  
=09"Peeping Tom better run," Shampoo singsonged.
=09"Ranma, settle down.  It was only an accident," Akane tried to 
calm her fiancee to no avail.
=09Ranma just cracked her knuckles in response.  With a predatory 
glint in her eyes, she spring on Tenchi, pummeling him with her fists.  
Tenchi tried to block to the best of his ability, but the Chestnut Fist 
was too much for him to block.  He flew out into the street.  Ranma 
leapt after him.  No letch ever got away with touching Ranma without a 
beating.  Even though Ranma was male by birth, some female conditioning 
and instincts had rubbed off on his persona, especially in his feminine 
form.
=09Please let me use the Light Hawk Wings, the Juraian teenager 
begged, as yet another twenty or so punches landed in his chest.  But 
the surge of power and awareness that he felt whenever he used the Light 
Hawk Wings never came.  Fortunately for Tenchi's continued health, the 
beating stopped with the sound of something hard hitting flesh.  It took 
the Juraian teen a few seconds to realize that it was not his flesh.  
Tenchi cautiously opened his eyes and saw his attacker smashed into the 
pavement.
=09"Stop picking on him!" a female voice shouted.  Ranma once again 
felt the peculiar exhilaration of flight as Akane booted her into the 
stratosphere.  Then she felt the all too familiar chill of the Tendo 
family koi pond.  
=09"Sorry about that.  He tends to be quite sensitive about things 
like that,"  Akane said good naturedly  Tenchi's head was spinning too 
rapidly to notice the unusual pronouns the Akane used.
=09"Peeping Tom, why you no fight back?" Shampoo asked.
=09"My name is not Peeping Tom," Tenchi snapped.
=09Shampoo just ignored him.  She sighed as she realized that Ranma 
was gone.  "Ranma no date Shampoo," she said as she pouted.
=09"Is that all you can think about?" Akane growled in disgust.
=09"Is ugly pervert girl jealous?  Tell truth now," Shampoo baited 
Akane.
=09"I'm not jealous.  You can have him for all I care," she argued 
vehemently.  
=09Now where have I heard this before, Tenchi asked himself.
=09"Shampoo go find Ranma then.  Leave Peeping Tom and Pervert Girl.  
You two make perfect couple.  Shampoo have deliveries to make.  Bye," 
the Chinese Amazon said just before she hopped on her bicycle and rode 
away.
=09Akane turned to Tenchi.  "I hope he didn't hurt you," she said, 
smiling in the friendly manner she used around anyone who was not Ranma 
or her rivals.  "By the way, I'm Akane Tendo.  And you just met my... 
cousin Ranko."  No need to tell him about Ranma's curse right away.  
"She's... just being modest.  She's also had some problems with the 
local perverts as well."  Ranma in his female form, modest?  Hardly!  
I'd never consider the way he walks around the house modest, but, on the 
other hand, Ranma does not like people finding out about his curse.  And 
between Kuno and Happosai, Ranma does have problems with the local 
perverts, even if he is one himself.
=09Tenchi groaned as he stood up.  "Well, I think she can handle 
herself just fine," he said as he winced, holding his side.
=09"I'm sorry.  Ranko tends to overreact at times.  By the way, 
what's your name?"
=09"Tenchi Masaki."  Finally, someone here who does not want to kill 
me.  What kind of town is this?  Tenchi laughed nervously.  "Um, do you 
know where the Nekohanten is?"
=09Akane's expression darkened.  "Why do you want to go there?"  
=09"Well, my grandpa is a friend of the owner's, and he got this 
crazy idea to bring me here on a training journey of sorts," Tenchi 
replied.
=09Akane winced slightly at the words 'training journey.'  "Oh, is 
today your first day in town?"  Must everyone go on those cursed 
journeys?
=09Tenchi nodded his head.  A corner of his mind was glad that Ryoko 
and Ayeka were not present.  He had no desire to watch the town get 
leveled today.
=09"I'm just curious, but it doesn't seem as if Shampoo likes you 
that much."
=09Tenchi scratched the back of his head nervously, as he was prone 
to doing.  "Well, I sort of walked in on her in the shower."
=09Akane's face darkened as she remembered another such incident.  
"Really..."  There was something frightening about the way she 
responded.
=09"I don't want you to think I am a pervert, Akane," Tenchi rapidly 
replied.  Actually, my dad is the pervert in the family.  "It was an 
accident.  Or perhaps a prank my grandfather was playing on me."
=09"Your grandfather has a strange sense of humor."  I don't know 
whether I should believe him or boot him into the stratosphere.
=09"You have no idea."  Tenchi said, thinking back to some of his 
grandfather's more unique training sessions.
=09"Who would have thought Shampoo, of all people, would actually 
have a shred of modesty in her?  She's worse than R-"  Akane stopped as 
she saw something out of the corner.  "Hold on a moment, please."  She 
stomped towards a not that well concealed Gosunkugi.  "How many times 
have I told you to stop following me?" Akane screamed as she hauled him 
out of his hiding place and into the air.  As Gosunkugi flew towards the 
horizon, one could hear him say "She actually talked to me."
=09Tenchi blinked in shock.
=09"Now, where were we?" Akane said in her most friendly voice.
=09"The Nekohanten..." Tenchi answered, trying to hide his 
astonishment and nervousness.
=09"Follow me."  Akane said as she walked in the direction of her 
rival's restaurant.  Tenchi followed closely behind.  One would think he 
would be used to aggressive women by now.

=09=09=09*=09*=09*

=09"We're almost there," Akane said as the pair walked down Nerimia's 
main street.
=09"Oh, Akane, who's your new boyfriend?  Does that mean I can have 
Ran-chan?"  a pleasant voice called out.  Tenchi gulped in 
embarrassment.  "Wow, I didn't think you moved that quickly," Ukyo 
muttered under her breath.  
=09"Hello, Ukyo," Akane said, trying to suppress her anger.  "This is 
Tenchi Masaki.  He's new to Nerima, and he is not my boyfriend."  Akane 
emphasized this last phrase.
=09"Hope springs eternal," Ukyo replied lightly.  Then, she asked 
Tenchi where he was staying.  As they conversed, the trio walked into 
Ukyo's restaurant.  Upon learning that he was staying at the Nekohanten, 
Ukyo frowned.
=09"Why there, sugar?" Ukyo asked.  "Certainly you can find a better 
place than that around here."
=09"Well, my grandfather and I are here on a training journey of 
sorts.  Its seems that the owner of the Nekohanten and my grandpa are 
old friends."
=09"I'm sorry,"  Ukyo said consolingly as she stepped behind her 
counter.  "Can I give you some advice?"
=09"Sure."
=09"Stay away from Shampoo.  If you beat her in combat, she'll have 
to marry you."
=09"What?!"
=09"Its the law of her tribe," Akane answered.  "My fiancee-"
=09"You mean our fiancee, don't you?" Ukyo interrupted.
=09Akane rolled her eyes and suppressed her jealousy before she 
continued.  Meanwhile, Tenchi noticed the temperature in the room 
dropped ten degrees even though Ukyo's grill was quickly cooking a batch 
of okonomiyaki.  "Anyways, my fiancee beat her accidentally in a fight 
and now she's trying to marry him."
=09"Three fiancee's?"  And I thought I had girl problems, Tenchi 
thought.
=09"That's right, sugar."
=09Tenchi paused.  "How strange can this place get?"
=09"You have no idea," Akane growled.
=09"You'll probably find out soon.  Just remember two things.  Things 
are not always as they seem.  And no matter what you may think, things 
will only get weirder," Ukyo instructed.  
=09Both Ukyo and Akane were surprised to see Tenchi break out in a 
cold sweat.
=09"Anyways, I need to leave.  Kasumi's about ready to start dinner 
and I promised to help her tonight," Akane said before she left.
=09Ukyo scooped up the finished okonomiyaki and placed them into a box.  =
"I need to visit my fiancee now."
=09Tenchi asked, "How am I going to get to the Nekohanten now?"
=09"Knowing Shampoo, if Akane's cooking, she's already on her way to 
Akane's house.  If you come, she should be able to take you back."
=09"Will Ranko be there?"
=09"Who knows?  She tends to come and go, depending on chance and the 
weather.  Why do you ask?"
=09"I was hoping to apologize to her for our little accident 
earlier."
=09Ukyo smiled.  At least now there was one boy in Nerima that was 
normal.  "Let me lock up before we visit Akane's."
=09"By the way, why to you need to visit your fiancee now?"  Tenchi 
asked curiously.
=09"Akane's a sweet girl, even if she is my competition, but her 
cooking is poisonous."
=09"Kind of like Ryoko's, I guess."
=09"Who is Ryoko?"  Ukyo asked as she stepped outside.
=09Tenchi dashed outside, sweating now not from exertion, but from 
the considerable task of covering up Ryoko's and his alien heritage.  
"I'll tell you on the way there."
=09Ukyo just shrugged as she locked the door.  "Whatever, sugar."

=09=09=09*=09*=09*

=09Ryouga, in his P-chan guise, slinked down the upstairs hallway of 
House Masaki.  He had to leave this crazy place as soon as he could.  
After meeting the natives in the onsen, P-chan had his wounds treated by 
a young girl named Sasami.  Ryouga wished he could thank her for her 
kindness.  But it was what he saw from the vantage point of Sasami's lap 
the scared him.  With three angry women, one mad girl, and one ditz who 
often provoked the others, the evening was rather exiting.  Things had 
really degenerated when Ayeka called Ryoko a liar.  Mihoshi then had to 
try to separate the two women before it came to blows.  The resulting 
ruckus after Mihoshi's head over heels approach to diplomacy enraged 
Kiyone to the point that the Galaxy Policewoman shouted at the other 
three for awhile.  Sasami swore she could see the paint peel off the 
wails during Kiyone's colorful tirade.  Then Ryoko got frisky.  Not 
content with just having an Argument, Ryoko wanted some Abuse, 
preferably inflicted on others.  This promptly rearranged the nature of 
the "discussion" the four women were having, as well as the nature of 
the living room.  It would have felt like home for Ryouga, except the 
damage was far greater.  What actual spooked him was the otherworldly 
impressions that seemed to radiate from everyone in the room.  Also 
Washu's continued insistence that she scan the house repeatedly for any 
signs of the intruder might also have something to do with Ryouga's 
discomfort.
=09So it was important that Ryouga leave as soon as possible.  If he 
was a normal person, he would have left already, instead of walking 
around in circles.  However, somewhere unrecorded by history, one of the 
Hibiki's picked up the infamous directional curse.  So after the 
seventeenth (or maybe twenty-seventh) circuit, Ryouga began looking for 
another course of action.  After all, sleep was starting to weigh 
heavily upon Ryouga's mind.  He had to wait, nestled in sleeping 
Sasami's arms, until Ayeka and Washu joined the young girl in the realm 
of rapid eye movement, instead of the rapid body movement so common in 
Nerima and the Masaki house these days.  Unfortunately for the little 
pig, Washu often stayed up late to work on her latest experiment or 
invention.  Two in the morning was when that night's experiment ended 
and Washu slipped into bed muttering dark imprecations about organic 
chemistry experiments.  (o/ Bubble, bubble, little tar; How I wonder 
what you are; I could win a Nobel Prize; If you'd only crystallize o/)  
An hour later, P-chan set out to escape.
=09Ryouga had lost track of exactly how much time he had spent 
wandering around the house.  (For you continually buffs, it is during 
this time Tenchi leaves for Nerima in Chapter 1)  The toil of staying up 
all night had, as previously stated, begun to take a toll on Ryouga's 
mind and body.  Escape would have to wait until after a short nap.  So 
Ryouga headed for the nearest door, hoping not to have picked the room 
with the resident demon summoner in it.
=09One note about the door before Ryouga enters it.  This door had a 
sign that read "Tenchi" on it.  Now, in the Tendo household, each 
sister's bedroom door had a sign with the girl's name on it.  Since Mr. 
Good Fangs had spent much of his recent life in the Tendo house, he 
figured that he was walking into Tenchi's room.  Although Ryouga did not 
see much of Tenchi, he figured that the lone male teenager in the area 
had to be less weird than the women.  However, the ever present Mr. 
Murphy of Murphy's Law fame had chosen to play another of his myriad of 
tricks upon poor Ryouga.  You see, earlier in the day Ryoko had decided 
to antagonize Mommy Dearest in response to Washu's endless pestering.  
How so, one might ask?  After a little research, she had placed a sign 
reading "137" upon Washu's lab door.  This served as a reminder to the 
arrogant scientist that there are some things she, in all her genius, 
still could not figure out.  In retaliation, Washu had placed the Tenchi 
sign upon Ryoko's bedroom door, reminding her daughter that there was 
something that Ryoko could not figure out.  This little incident helped 
explain why today's property damage was more extensive than usual.  And 
now back to the blunder currently in progress.
=09Ryouga entered the doorway, and, out of habit, curled up with the 
nearest warm body.  That warm body happened to be a light sleeper named 
Ryoko.  Said young woman had become a light sleeper in order to respond 
to any perceived threats from Ayeka.  Also, said young woman objected to 
anything, even Ryo-ohki, in her bed while she slept.  Please add to this 
situation Ryoko's smoldering anger towards Washu and Ayeka.  In short, 
when Ryoko awoke and found her porcine nemesis (Sasami had noticed that 
her new pet had been unusually and inexplicably hostile to Ryoko) 
perched sleeping on her stomach, she decided to vent her frustrations by 
turning P-chan into sausage.  Ryouga's first realization that trouble 
had found him yet again came when he was thrown headfirst into the 
nearest wall.
=09A chase immediately ensued, reminiscent of Ranma's crazed pursuits 
of P-chan.  Ryoko grew frustrated by Ryouga's agility and speed, while 
her determination, flight, and teleportation vexed Ryouga.  Eventually, 
the chase, which had ranged from throughout the Masaki house, upstairs 
and downstairs, Washu's lab, two of the planets that made up Washu's 
lab, and back again, ending up in Tenchi's bedroom.  Ryoko was not 
watching where she was flying and she tripped on Tenchi's bed and onto 
what she thought was her beloved.  Cursing the pig for putting her in 
this situation, Ryoko prepared for the upcoming apology and also to grab 
as much pleasure as she could.
=09Tenchi seemed to be sleeping soundly tonight.  An idea was forming 
in the space pirate's mind, devious and deviant in nature.
=09Ryoko looked around the room, partially in attempt to find her 
assailant from earlier and to make sure Ayeka was not waiting to ambush 
her.  Seeing no signs of trouble, she proceeded with her hormone-
inspired plan.  (P-chan had secreted himself into the shadows, relieved 
for the breather and breathing thoughts of imminent revenge as well as 
foul implications about Ryoko's personage, most of which were probably 
true.)
=09The Demon Summoner floated above the bed and reached for the 
sheets.
=09Kiyone Makibi, Detective First Class, Galaxy Police, fanfic-
induced insomniac, was enjoying a decent night's sleep (a rarity in 
Achariyth fics).  In fact, she has having a pleasant, almost rapturous, 
dream in which she lived a life of normalcy, rising up in the echelons 
of Galaxy Police, while Mihoshi cleaned out offices for a living.  She 
had just received her promotion to Field Marshal was about to be wed to 
her dream man (no, it is not Tenchi) when she was cruelly and forcibly 
thrust out of dreamland into the Hell that was her life by a sustained 
shrill scream of surprise from a space pirate.  Thinking that Ryoko and 
Ayeka were physically fighting again, Kiyone decided she should add a 
new verse of pain to Ryoko's wailed chorus.
=09Rising out of bed and through the protesting door, Kiyone dashed 
towards the source of her pain.  Thrusting the door open, she hissed 
"What is it now?"
=09"Tenchi's gone!" Ryoko wailed.
=09"What?  Tenchi's gone? Where did he go?" Mihoshi asked.  "Oh no!"  
Mihoshi added her cries to Ryoko's, creating a dissonant harmony that 
would have only been appreciated by Narn opera enthusiasts and the deaf 
(which is what you would have to be to appreciate Narn opera).
=09Somewhere, deep within the minuscule portion of Kiyone's mind 
presently not consumed by her anger, she wondered how Mihoshi passed her 
in the hallway.  Kiyone thought for sure that her ditzy partner was 
sleeping when Kiyone made her dramatic exit from their shared quarters.
=09"Sure, and now you'll blame it on Ayeka trying to seduce Tenchi in 
private," Kiyone snapped.
=09"That is most assuredly not the case, Miss Kiyone, I have been 
sleeping in the same bedroom as Sasami and Washu until now," Ayeka said 
gravely.
=09Kiyone swore in Japanese, Jurai, Interlac, a little known dialect 
of Selenese, and English.  The last thing she needed was an actual 
reason to be conscious right now.  Her police training took over.  
"Okay.  Listen up.  Mihoshi, get Washu in here now.  Ryoko and Ayeka, 
start looking around the house.  Do not wake Sasami, let's not worry her 
prematurely."
=09Mihoshi ran out of the room.  Ryoko and Ayeka, deferring to 
Kiyone's natural authority in such matters as well as to panic, 
scrambled down the stairs to look for their beloved.  All night they 
intended to search for the one that their hearts loved.  They would look 
for him, but would not find him.
=09Washu entered Tenchi's room.  "Oh, so Tenchi's missing?  I, the 
greatest scientist in the universe, shall find him for you."
=09"Thank you, Little Washu," Kiyone replied.  She had long ago 
learned the secret to successfully dealing with Washu: appeasement.=09
=09Washu summoned her holocomputer and typed rapidly.  Five minutes 
and a few muttered comments later, she said, "Tenchi is not here."
=09Kiyone growled, "It took you five minutes and your lab's 
instruments to figure out what I could have told you in five seconds 
with my own eyes."  Appeasement had just been unceremoniously tossed out 
the bedroom window by the angry hand of frustration.
=09"I'm not done yet, Kiyone.  There's no sign of anyone that does 
not live here.  In fact, up until we all dashed in here, only Tenchi, 
Yosho, and Sasami's pig have been in here all night."
=09"Miss Washu?  Kiyone?  What's going on?" a sleepy young girl asked 
from the hallway.
=09Kiyone sighed.  "Should I tell her the truth or you?" she 
whispered to Washu.
=09Washu's holoscreen illuminated a point representative of a 
location in the room.  "Excuse me for a moment."  She then approached 
that point in the room.
=09Kiyone sighed again, as one who is mostly normal tends to do about 
the events in and around the Masaki shrine.  "Sasami, Ryoko was sneaking 
into Tenchi's room again."
=09"Not again," Sasami wailed.  Seeing the look in Kiyone's eyes, she 
knew that there was more to the story than Kiyone had told her.  "And?"
=09Kiyone sighed.  She hated to be the bearer of bad news, especially 
to a young chold like Sasami.  "Only this time Tenchi was not there."=09
=09"Could he be sleeping at the shrine?"
=09Kiyone recoiled.  She had not considered that possibility.
=09"Ah ha!  There it is!" Washu shouted as she pulled a squirming pig 
from its hiding spot.  "Maybe he knows where Tenchi is."
=09"You have got to be kidding me!" Kiyone exclaimed in disbelief.
=09"No you can't!  You can't take his memories, Miss Washu, you just 
can't!" Sasami shouted as she tried to snatch P-chan away from the red 
haired scientist.
=09"Settle down, Sasami.  As with Ryo-ohki, I won't scan him unless 
he lets me."  Sasami could not see the crossed fingers from her point of 
view.  Kiyone could, but thought it was best not to intervene, lest she 
found herself strapped to one of Washu's examining tables.
=09Sasami addressed the pig.  "Do you want Miss Washu to read your 
thoughts?"
=09Ryouga panicked.  He tried his best to free himself from Washu's 
grip while shaking his head.
=09"I think that's a definite 'no', Washu," Kiyone commented wryly.
=09"Oh, all right." Washu let the pig go.  Ryouga ran out of the room 
as quick as his piggy legs would let him.  Washu made a note to 
recapture him.  There was something a little suspicious about P-chan's 
reaction to being scanned.
=09"Where's Tenchi?" Sasami asked, tears forming in her eyes.
=09Kiyone hugged the young girl to comfort her.  "That's what we are 
trying to find out.  As soon as we know, we'll go get him.  Don't worry, 
Sasami."
=09"Miss Washu!  The family van's gone as well!"  Ayeka panted as she 
entered the room.
=09"Can't you scan for him from space?" Kiyone asked.
=09"I don't have the network of sensors I need in Earth orbit.  
Besides, the van's gone.  We find Nobuyuki, we'll know where Tenchi is," 
Washu replied.
=09"Let's meet him at work then.  Everyone go back to bed.  Lets get 
some sleep before we start looking in the morning," Kiyone instructed.  
She hoped that she could go back to her earlier interrupted dream.
=09Everyone scattered to their bedrooms to rest for the night.  It 
would be morning before they realize that Mihoshi was still searching 
for Tenchi.
=09Ryouga slinked down the hall, looking for a protected place to 
sleep.  In the morning, he would try to escape this madhouse.  As he 
walked, a bright light surrounded him, and then he reappeared in Washu's 
lab, strapped to one of the myriad of examining tables in the lab.  
Washu snickered uncontrollably as she snapped her rubber gloves before 
she wore them.  "Let's see exactly what you know, little one."
=09Ryouga had barely enough time to curse Ranma before Washu's 
machine descended upon his porcine head.

=09=09=09*=09*=09*

=09Mihoshi was getting tired.  She had been looking for Tenchi for 
over an hour, and their still was no sign of him.  Her fatigue was 
starting to make her hallucinate, or so she thought.  She heard bushes 
rustling, weird howls in the winds, and strange footprints.  Mihoshi 
began to lose her cool.
=09"What should I do?  I'm so scared!" she exclaimed.
=09"What a haul!  What a haul!" an elderly voice screeched.  
=09Needless to say, this was not helping Mihoshi's sense of calm any.  
She was visibly going to pieces.  
=09"Sweeto!" came the cry upon the wind, then Mihoshi felt pressure 
on her chest.
=09The resulting scream echoed throughout the hills surrounding the 
Masaki shrine.  Alas, the others were too tired to answer her screams.

Next time on Shin Ranma Muyo:

Tsunami:  =09Ryoko and the other girls visit Nobuyuki at work to try to 
=09find Tenchi.  Tenchi tries to apologize to Ranma and Shampoo.  
=09Happosai makes an appearance at the Masaki shrine.  Ranma deals 
=09with the newest arrivals to Nerima.  Finally, Kuno learns of 
=09Tenchi and Akane's meeting and seeks to confront the young =09
=09Masaki.

Ukyo: =09And Tsunami makes an appearance as well.  Make sure you look 
=09for the next chapter of Shin Ranma Muyo: Tsunami vers--- 

Tsunami: =09(covering Ukyo's mouth with her hand) That was supposed to 
=09be a surprise.  Anyways, Shin Ranma Muyo 3: A Day in the Strife 
=09part 2 - The Gathering.  Don't miss it!

Akane: =09See you there!

Tsunami: =09(shaking her head) These interruptions are getting 
=09unquestionably annoying.


Closing Theme - "Temporary One", on Fleetwood Mac's The Dance album

Author's notes-
=09"Mister Achariyth?"
=09"Yes, Ayeka?"
=09"Could you do me a favor?"
=09"Go ahead, Princess, ask him out.  Leave Tenchi in the hands of an 
older, more mature woman."
=09"Why would he want anything to do with a shriveled old mummy is 
beyond me."
=09"Girls, please stop.  Ayeka, what would you like?"
=09"What is so important about 137?"
=09"Why don't I like where this is going?"
=09"I'm glad you asked, Ayeka.   I'm going to let our resident 
science expert answer this."
=09"Oh, no."
=09"Run while you still can, Ayeka."
=09"You two aren't going anywhere.  If the reader has to listen, so 
do you two."
=09"Thank you, Achariyth.  You see, 1 divided by 137 is a commonly 
recurring number, similar to pi and e.  137's inverse is a number that 
holds the secrets to electromagnetism, relativty, and quantum theory.  
As of now, Earth physicists have been agonizing over the meaning and 
significance of 137.  Not one has come up with a adequate reasoning 
behind it.  Werner Heisenberg once said that all the secrets to quantum 
mechanics would be revealed once 137 is finally explained.  Although it 
is silly of Achariyth to assume that I, the greatest mind in the 
universe, do not understand the secrets of 137.  Now do you understand, 
dear Ryoko, why reminding the galaxy's greatest mind of her ever 
diminishing ignorance is a bad idea, especially when said scientist can 
turn you into a water sprite?"
=09"Let's just go on to the rest of the notes before my brain or my 
computer explodes, and the reader has to wait another four months for me 
to write the next chapter."

=09Now to the serious stuff.
=09First, allow me to apologize for the long delay.  Events in my 
life have conspired to delay the release date on this.  Add to this the 
fact that I almost threw this entire story out of the window out of 
frustration, and we have the four month delay.  My goal was just to 
finish this, as the more interesting stories come after this. I am 
committed to at least four more chapters after this one.  But to get to 
those, I first have to finish this one.  So, my apologies if this is not 
up to my usual standard.
=09For those non-chemists reading this, let me say that the quick 
blurb on chemistry I mentioned deals with the fact that it can take 
between 3 and 18 hours to complete an organic chemistry experiment, 
during which you have no chances to walk away from the experiment and 
leave it for the entire time.  You are effectively married to the 
experiment for the time it takes to finish it.  Think of it as cooking 
recipes from Gehenna.
=09<<knock, knock>>  Excuse me one moment, folks, while I answer my 
door...  Who is it?  Oh no...

Akane:  =09(hurriedly) The next episode of Shin Ranma Muyo will be 
=09postponed because the author is being pursued by Kiyone and a 
=09squad of Narns insulted by his opera joke.  In the meantime, we 
=09urge you to check out Achariyth's other writings, including the 
=09first chapter of Shin Ranma Muyo, at GenSao's Tenchi site 
=09(www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/9467/).  Ouch, that's going to 
=09leave a mark.  Kiyone, be gentle, he still has to write me a 
=09bigger part.  Anyways, Shin Ranma Muyo Chapter Three (aptly 
=09titled, if you ask me.  Who needs Ranma anyway?) should be out by 
=09June.  See you then!

Achariyth@AOL.com

"Why are you here?  Do you have anything worth living for?"
Lorien, Babylon 5