!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOSOEVER READS THIS IS TO COMPLETELY DISREGARD THE PREVIOUS WARNING. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT. YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE A LEMON FAN FIC, DIDN'T YOU?? YOU SICK BASTERDS. UMMM. IT DOES CONTAIN SWEARING HOWEVER. NOT LIKE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD STUFF LIKE THIS ON SOUTH PARK OR ANYTHING. At last the big day had come. Dave's birthday party!! But this wasn't going to be any old boring party. Not with an anime simulator anyway. In Dave's opinion, this was going the best party known to Otaku kind. Conveniently, the principal of the junior high had been fired when he was found face-down in a pool of his own vomit with a blood-alcohol level of .13 . Of course, the vice-principal took his place, but after a meal at Mc.Heartattacks, well, you get the idea. All of this lead to one great thing: No school!! And because of this, Dave could have his birthday party on his actual birthday-June 2nd . He had a night of anime, music, strobe-light induced seizures, and, of course, the simulator!! He had invited his five closest friends: Eric, T.J. Stacy, Pimp-Ohki (a.k.a. big Eric), and Bill to enjoy the madness with him. It was a little hard to persuade Dadyoshii, since it was an all nighter and Stacy was going to be there, but some quick sucking up made it so. CHAPTER 2:No Need For A Party!! "Konbanwa!" Dave greeted his first guest, Pimp-Ohki through the door. "Tisk tisk." Pimp-Ohki said and hit Dave over the head with a bokken that was previously draped over his shoulder. "Can't you even greet your sensai with the proper respect that he deserves?" "Gomen" Dave rubbed his head. There was all ready a bruise forming. "Pimp- DOKO, you got here earlier then I expected. I thought that I told everyone that they shouldn't get here before 7. It's not even 6 yet. I still have stuff to set up and." "SILENCE!" Eric cut him off. "You've been a slacker Dave. You're already a week behind in your training. What do you have to say for yourself??" "I'M THE SLACKER??!" Dave shouted at him exasperated. "You're the one that's been sleeping when you were supposed to be helping me train!! Or did you forget??" Either Eric heard him and ignored Dave, or was just too proud to answer. "Come. We must train." Knowing that it was useless to try to reason with Eric, Dave ran downstairs to get his bokken. On the way up, he also got his c.d. player and come c.d. s. ********************************************************************** When Dave got outside, Eric was already on the other side of the yard, waiting for him. Eric stood there as the breeze kicked up a small cloud of dust and made his hair sway a little. Sighing, Dave put his c.d. player on the picnic table and put Tenchi Muyo OVA Best c.d. in. Then, he put track one on repeat. He then turned to face Eric and leveled his bokken in front of him. Eric responded with a crooked Vegeta-esque smile. "SHI NI!!!!" He shouted and ran toward Dave. "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" They charged at one another, swords raised. They ran screaming toward the center of the yard. Their swords met with a *clang*. "I see you've been training." Eric remarked as he attempted to push Dave down by exerting force onto their inter-locked swords. Instead of answering, Dave grinned and pushed back. Eric began to sweat. Dave wasn't kidding around today. He seemed to be stronger, too "I'm not gonna lose today." Dave thought as he gritted his teeth. He had lost every other battle against sensai so far, and he didn't want this battle to end the same way. Not today. With an extra burst of strength, adrenaline, and determination, he pushed Eric flat on his ass. "Today I win sensai!" Dave proclaimed and brought his sword down to Eric's throat. Eric sweated and gulped. "That's enough practice for today. . ." After he slung his bokken over his shoulder, Dave walked back to the house, whistling Give A Reason . Of course, he also grabbed his c.d. player on the way in. In the middle of the yard, Eric was shaking his head in disbelief. "How could have lost???" ********************************************************************** "SUUUUGERRRRR!!!!!" Dave screamed in rapture as he downed his 3rd glass of X-tra strong grape kool-aid. Now this was his way of celebrating his first victory over his sensai!!! Once he had drunken 2 quarts of kool-aid, he happily went on his marry way downstairs to finish the preparations. Still out of in the yard, Eric was crying and slamming his bokken into the earth. "DAMN DAMN FUCKKKKKKK!!" ********************************************************************** Now on a kool-aid induced sugar high, Dave merrily frolicked through his basement, spinning like a top. "HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEH.." he laughed as he ran into a door. "Oh yeah. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHE. There's a door." He turned the knob and spun madly into the laundry room. "The colors!!! The colors!!!" Dave spun into the middle of the room and promptly fell asleep. [sugar highs will do that, if you didn't know.- Sailor Jerpury] ********************************************************************** "Ohayo, Dave-Chan." A voice awakened him. He looked up to see a teen-age Ryoko staring him in the face. "How did you sleep honey? Daijobu?" Ryoko asked him. "I'm a little tired, that's all." He answered, and, as if to prove his point, yawned. "You should be. You sure did a lot last night." Ryoko ran her hand through Dave's hair. "Ouch!" she exclaimed as she pricked her finger. " I just wish that your hair wasn't so damn pointy." "Ugh. What did I do last night exactly??" Dave was obviously still groggy. "Don't you remember??" Ryoko was genuinely confused. "How could you forget? Last night, you and I," she paused, "MADE LOVE UNTIL I TURNED BLUE IN THE FACE!!!!" Dave's right eye began to twitch. "And you were wonderful!" She leaped up and hugged him around the waist. The blankets fell of her, and Dave suddenly noticed that Ryoko was quite naked. His nose began to bleed profusely. "Hey, stop that!!!" He protested. "What's with this shy routine?" She looked up at him. "That's not how you were acting last night." ********************************************************************** "Hey Dave, wake up!" The voice demanded. It wasn't quite as nice as the one that he had previously heard, but it was still warm and inviting. He opened his eyes to see Stacy looking down on him. "Come on poop stain. Everyone's here. I don't know what the hell was happening to you, but you were out like a light. Everyone's here now, so get your ass up." Dave raised to his feet and saw the rest of his guests standing in the computer room. Including Pimp-ohki, who was still looking pissed. "O.K. hey everyone. The pizza should be here soon and after that this mass insanity can get underway." No sooner had he said that, the pizza arrived. A massive wave of kids ran up the stairs, eager to stuff their greedy faces with pizza. After a heavy *sigh*, Dave followed then upstairs as well. By the time he got there, his guests were already devouring pizza like a school of pharannas. Dave motioned the group back downstairs once they had all grabbed what they needed: pizza, surge, and napkins. [sorry I was just trying to be a little realistic.] Upon reaching the basement, Dave put his Radiohead c.d. into the c.d. player and turned it up as high as he could without disturbing the neighbors to the point that they called the police. All was well, and all were joyous, including Pimp-ohki who had been wakened by the distinct scent of pizza. "So Eric, how come you lost so easy today??" Dave asked curiously. "I wanna know." But the truth was that he was just trying to brag unassumingly. "Well, you see.." Eric paused. "Go on." Dave took a bite of pizza. "I stepped on a rock and tripped." "WHAAAAAAAT????!!!" Dave shouted and began choking on his pizza. His dream of finally out-matching his sensai came crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. T.J. slapped Dave on the back in an attempt to bring the pizza back up. Instead, Dave forced the pizza down. "You lying piece of crap!! I pushed you down!! I saw it!!" "Think what you must." Eric responded and calmly ate another piece of pizza. "Nevertheless, I tripped. Nothing that you think or say is going to change that." Dave's blood began to boil. "FINE! I DEMAND A REMATCH!!!" "Sounds fine to me." He answered. Dave made a motion for Bill to get his bokken when he suddenly remembered the focus point of the party. "forget it. I have something more important to show all of you. Something that boggles the mind." That caught everyone's attention, including Pimp-ohki . "Yes, even modern science can't explain it. It's existence is a great mystery to us all. Ladies and gentlemen, [but mostly gentleman,] I present to you for your pleasure, THE MASAKI SIMULATOR!!! "Ohhh.." The crowd responded. "With this very machine, I can simulate the Masaki household. You can be any character from the Tenchi cast, excluding minor characters." He paused for a moment, letting this sink in. "Who want's to try it??" Pimp-ohki, Bill, and Stacy each answered with an enthusiastic "ME!!!!", while the others, T.J. and Eric, didn't even move. "Your loss." Dave said pitifully. "Not entirely," Eric corrected him, "when you're playing with that simulator, me and T.J. can play Jupe and Massa Will!!" Stacy blinked. "What's that?" "Believe me, you don't wanna know." Bill answered. Everyone bigsweated simultaneously as Eric chased T.J. around with a scarf, hitting him occasionally. "Damn it Jupe, plant me some corn!!" Eric demanded. Cringing, T.J. fell to the floor, covering his head with both of his arms. "God no Massa Will!! Don't beat me with the whip!!" They ran screaming and laughing into Dave's room. "..." Everyone stared, dumb-founded, until Dave broke the silence. "Take these." Dave instructed Bill, Stacy, and Eric. A bit reluctantly, they put on the bulky helmets that they were handed. "It should be starting aaaanyyy second now." Dave told the 3 as he pressed the ENTER key. 3-2-1-LOADING... The computer counted down. Stacy was the first to notice that something was wrong. "I...I don't feel too good.." She keeled over, clutching her gut. "What's happening Dave?.." Her voice was week. "What do you mean?!!!" He took off his helmet, and, to his shock, saw that everyone's body was dematerializing before his very eyes. Including him. ********************************************************************** In another time, in another space, two white eyes glistened menacingly. His time for revenge was close, very close indeed. ********************************************************************** "M-m-m-my body feels like its breaking up!!!" Bill Clutched his sides. "I'm being ripped apart!!" Eric fell to the ground, spasiming wildly. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!" He screamed, kicking his legs uncontrollably Bill remand silent, as tears ran down both sides of his face. Then, without any warning or reason, the pain stopped. Instead of searing pain, all that they could feel was nothing, like their body's had gone numb. In his visor, Dave saw a forest. It grew closer and closer by the minute. He removed his visor, and, to his horror, saw that the Earth was rapidly approaching. This was no simulation, this was real. ********************************************************************** The quaint chirping of birds filled Ryoko's ears as she served the countryside from high atop a bluff. "It's so peaceful up here. I just wish that Tenchi was up here now to enjoy it with me." she sighed as a single tear ran down her cheek. "Damn!" She cursed. "How can I be so close to him, yet so far at the same time? DAMN!" she swore again and hit the ground with her fist, causing a small tremor to rock the forest. "I was so sure that he loved me, after our journeys across time and space. But he hasn't said anything or done anything out of the ordinary since, except for the apple." Once more, she sighed. "If only you would wake up and realize how much you mean to me Tenchi.. Tenchi." Ryoko yawned and stretched out beneath the canopy. A single ray of sunlight shone through, warming her. She said something incoherent about 'sake' and drifted off into a dreamless morning slumber. ********************************************************************** Realizing that there was no why that he would survive the impact, Dave yelled, "SAVE ME MOMMY!" Just before he fell to his green leafy doom. He landed with a loud *crash* that blew up a cloud of dust and loose leaves. Coughing, he was amazed to find that he was still alive, much less in one piece. Content that he was safe, he tried to open his eyes, but found that the pain was too great and he couldn't. "So much for landing safely." He thought as he roamed his hands around the area around him. His reconosence reveled that whatever he had landed on was soft and bumpy. His hands came across two large warm mounds, about the size of melons. "Wonder what these are" he asked himself as he felt the soft, warm objects. Dave diverted his attention from these mysterious objects when his nose caught a whiff of an unidentified odor. He couldn't quite place his finger on what it was. It was at this point that Dave realized his landing site was moving. Not so much violently, but heaving up and down rhytmetcly. It was also at this point that the fact that the object that Dave was laying on could talk. "Ten-Chan.." It giggled. "Frisky today aren't you??" Despite the pain, Dave's eyes snapped open. The voice was quite recognizable, it was that of Ryoko. In shock and amazement, his eyes began to grow larger and larger as he surveyed the person below him. He stood there silent for a moment, as sweat began to bead his forehead. Then the person below him opened her amber eyes. There was something about them that compelled Dave. He didn't know what, but it really didn't matter. Because in a few minutes he was going to be dead. The amber eyes began to enlarge, growing bigger and bigger. As their size increased, the red veins that were popping out of them became very noticeable. "GET OFF ME!!!" Ryoko demanded. Dave looked on dumbfounded. Then, he realized where his hands were and quickly removed them from Ryoko's curvy chest. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING YOU YOU YOU HENTAI !!!!!!!" Despite her obvious disapproval of the situation, Ryoko was blushing faintly. Blushing himself, Dave removed himself from Ryoko's crotch as well, then quickly stood. Energy danced around Ryoko's head. "ANSWER ME!!! WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING??" She stood as well, looming over Dave, being 6 inches or so taller then him. "Well, um, I, uh, you see.." He twiddled his thumbs, searching desperately for an answer. Ryoko had calmed down slightly by this point, but not by much. After catching her breath, she outstretched her palm. "fine, don't answer me. Whatever the reason, there was no excuse for you touching me!!! I'm not like that slut Aeka!!! You just can't fall out of nowhere and feel me up!!!" "Actually, that's what happened in a way." But by now, Ryoko wasn't listening. "I haven't had the best couple of days, and I'm very sexually frustrated right now. Well, since you're here, I might as well take my anger out on you, RIGHT NOW!!!" Knowing what was going to happen next, Dave turned tail and fled into the forest as red balls of energy concentrated themselves in Ryoko's hand. "SHI NI!!!" Ryoko shouted as she clamped her hand shut, forming a red energy sword <[ ^_^;]>. Even though he knew that it was futile, Dave began to run through the forest at mach 5, kicking up a trail of dust as he went. "Go ahead and run. That makes things more fun!!!" Ryoko laughed maniacally and flew through the forest after her victim. Not daring to make the same mistake that Tenchi did, Dave didn't bother to stop when he thought that he was a safe distance away. Instead, he kept going. "Ohayo!!!" Ryoko greeted as she flew up from the ground and landed directly in Dave's path. Then something happened that she wasn't expecting; Dave ran right into her breasts and bowled her over. Of course, Dave fell over too. They landed in a tangled heap, with Dave's right hand on Ryoko's right breast. [ things like this keep happening mysteriously, don't they J ] Dave cringed and prepared to enjoy his last minute on Earth before he was cleaved in two. His muscles tensed as closed his eyes and squeezed Ryoko's breasts, waiting for death. 10 seconds passed, then a minute. Dave looked up tentavily, Expecting to see an energy bolt flying at his face the size of a basketball. Instead, Ryoko was smiling. "Ar-ar-aren't you going to kill me now??" He asked sheepishly. She couldn't hold it in any more. Ryoko burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" Dave saw nothing humorous about the situation. After she settled down, Ryoko answered. "Did you really think that I was gonna hurt you? Come on, I was only playing. Couldn't you tell??" "Actually.." "Well, I was. I may be a space pirate, but I'm no murder." She said that as if she was proud to be a pirate. "Now, if you don't mind." She pointed at Dave's hand that was still holding her breast in a death grip. His glasses fogged up, and he hastily removed it. Quickly, he stood up and bowed deeply. "Gomen nasai" He apologized. Ryoko smirked. *He reminds me of Tenchi, in a way..* she sighed. *if only Tenchi was that forward. or was it an accident?* She blushed, imagining Tenchi touching her lovingly. Her eyes [now back to normal] began to grow misty. "Daijoubudesu?" He asked her. "Hai, daijobu desu." She shook off the tears. "Now, back to the matter at hand. Where did you come from anyway?" "It's like you said." He answered. "I feel out of the sky and landed on you. The last thing that I remember before that was I was at my house, using my new anime simulator with my friends, when there was intense pain and shortly after I disappeared and fell on you." Right after he finished, there was a stabbing pain in his side and he fell over, shaking in agony. Ryoko grabbed him before he fell. "Daijobu desu?? DAIJOBU DESU???" there was no response. Dave's eyes glazed over, and he fell silent. *I better get him to Washu* Ryoko thought and teleported towards home, Dave in her arms. ********************************************************************** At the same time, in a different place, insane, evil laughter was heard. The source of the laughter was a girl who appeared to be only that of 12 years old, but her surroundings suggested otherwise. All about her, there were various devices and machines whose use was unknown. Past the machines, there were rows of long, green test tubes that reached as far as the eye could see. Inside lay twisted, distorted creatures who swam aimlessly in the primordial slime in which they were kept. But the focus point of the lab was a oak school desk in the middle that housed a 18 year old boy, wearing only his boxers. He began to sweat profusely as the source of the laughter approached him. "Ah,hahahaha!!" Washu laughed evilly as she approached the man sitting in the chair, clad in only a tight-fitting Japanese school teacher's uniform. "Class, today were going to explore the realms of male sexuality. Namely, the signs of male arousal. Do I have any volunteers??" She looked around the lab, seeing only one man- Tenchi!! "Ah, yes you!" She pointed at Tenchi. "I see that you would like to volunteer." Tenchi gave no response, save for the widening of his eyes. "Well, if you wanted to help with the demonstration, why didn't you raise your hand??" Washu asked as she advanced towards Tenchi. He responded with a muffled scream. Vainly, he attempted to struggle out of the chair that was holding him, but the restraints were holding him in to tightly for him to do anything. "Well well, since there seem to be no other questions, why don't we begin?" Washu said menacingly, rubbing her hands together with anticipation as she moved closer to her captive. *That's what I get for being hopeful.* Tenchi sighed to himself. ********************************************************************** Tenchi sighed happily to himself. For the first time in a long while, Sasami hadn't asked him to get Washu from her lab for breakfast. Also, for the first time in a long while, Ryoko hadn't been at the breakfast table to eat, much less anywhere else that she usually was in the morning. He thought nothing of it, as Ryoko skipped breakfast often, and her absence usually added up to one thing for Tenchi: A relaxing, hot meal. The only thing that he found disturbing about the meal was that Aeka kept trying to steal glances at him from time to time. He pretended not to notice, but it still bothered him that Aeka was so uptight about her feelings and emotions. It couldn't do any harm if she told him how she felt; in fact it might actually help somewhat. Yet Tenchi knew that this was just wishful thinking. Aeka was to frail, to delicate, to ever be open with her feelings. Unlike Ryoko. The two girls had completely different personalities, but he felt equally attracted to both of them nevertheless. He wished that Aeka wasn't so unreachable. He wished that Ryoko wasn't so demanding.. He wished that Aeka and Ryoko wouldn't fight so much. But none of this would ever happen. With a heavy *sigh* he drained the last of his miso shiru and stood up. He complimented Sasami for the wonderful meal, as he always did and prepared to walk out to the shrine for more sword practice. Much to his dismay, on the way out Sasami asked, quite sweetly, "Oh, I completely forgot about Washu. Can you go to her lab and see if she's still allright?? She's missed the last couple of meals and I'm getting worried about her." Not being one to be able to turn down such a cute little girl, he agreed, quite reluctantly. And when he went into the lab, well, you know how it always goes. ********************************************************************** Back to the matter at hand. Giggling maniacally, Washu grabbed the elastic strap on Tenchi's boxers. "Time for today's lesson, schoolboy." Tenchi Shrunk back in fear. His whole body tensed up as he awaited his grim fate. *Do I really deserve this?* he thought as Washu began to slide his boxers off his body tediously. A thin trickle of blood oozed from his nose. "Let's see if you did your homework. Now, can you perform Kama Sutra position #34 for your teacher?" Tenchi felt that he was going to faint. His knees went out on him, and his throat went dry. *Somebody, anybody, help me* he squeezed his eyes shut. *ANYBODY.* Over in the corner of the lab, a faint buzzing noise began. It grew louder and louder, until Washu thought that it was going to drive her mad. "What the hell is it now??!" She asked, exasperated, getting up and away from Tenchi. Tenchi finally exhaled, much more relieved that he was safe for the moment. Charging past her rows of machines, Washu finally came across the source of the infernal buzzing. It was being emitted by the most unlikely of machines, her dimension tuner. "I thought that I put this thing away for good." She mumbled as she walked around it, looking for what the problem was. Right when she was about to give up, the machine turned a very light blue in color. Washu sensed some sort of energy being released by the machine. In the blink of an eye, the dimension split and reformed, not affecting Tenchi or Washu at all. "I thought that that machine couldn't be used anymore!!" Tenchi shouted at her from the table. "It's not supposed to! There's some kind of outside force operating it! I can't control it!" Then, as suddenly as it had started, the buzzing was gone. Everything was back to normal. But then a shape began to materialize in front of Washu's very eyes. Slowly, it's atoms combined, forming a human body. Washu stared wide eyed as the figure stood and groaned, staggering to and fro and clutching his head. Before he could fall, however, Washu caught him. Gradually, the boy opened his blue eyes. His pupils un-dialeted as they became more accustomed to the lighting. After a long silence, he spoke. "Who are you? Where am I?" "Hmhmhmhm. My name is Washu.." she said seriously then, in hr child voice, said, "The greatest scientific genius in the universe.!!" Right then, two puppets that looked like a Washu in SD mode marked 'A' and 'B' flipped up onto her shoulders. "WASHU YOU ARE THE GENUIS!!" Puppet A shouted. "WASHU YOU GREATEST!!" Puppet B shouted. Then they began clapping excitedly as Washu laughed maniacally and confetti streamed down from the ceiling, it's source unknown. The boy responded by bigsweating. "And to answer your second question, you're here in my lab." She calmed down from her intro and put the boy on the floor. "Now, for my question- who are you??" "Bill." He responded quickly. "Bill brown." "Bill? That's a strange name. Where are you from?" "Michigan." "Michigan?" She repeated him again. "Then how the hell did you get here?" "I have no idea." "Did you travel through a dimensional rift?" "No." "A slipgate?" "No." "A wormhole?" "No." "A trans-universal paradox in the time-space continuum?" "No." "ERHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Washu grabbed the sides of her head. "This is annoying!! Do you even know what these things are?" "No" he answered sheepishly. "Well, there's only one way to find out. I'm gonna have to explain all of this important information too you! After all, my machine reactivating by itself is a very big deal." Washu grabbed Bill's arms and led him off into the deepest reaches of her lab Tenchi breathed a sigh of relief. *Saved again* he thought. *But who was that guy? Where did he come from? He looked just like a normal person. I wonder if he's a threat to us? Knowing Washu, she's probably got some sort of ulterior motive for this, like getting a sample or something.* he sat there for a minute and thought about this. Then he realized that he was still tied up, boxers off. He blushed, then screamed out, "WASHU!!! GET ME DOWN!!" at the top of his lungs. No response. Now Tenchi was really starting to get worried. *What if Ryoko comes back here and sees me like this? Then I'll be trapped, and she would be free to have her way with me!* In no time at all, the school desk was drenched with sweat. *If Ryoko comes.* He shuddered. It wasn't that he was afraid to; it was that he was afraid of Ryoko and everything about her. Her destructiveness. Her temper. Her immense strength. Her fangs. He began to imagine what those fangs would do to his soft flesh if they ever got hold of it. The thought made him shudder more. He winced now, actually feeling the pain for a split-second. Deciding that now it would be better to relax then worry himself to death, he slowly shut his eyes and waited for help or Washu. ********************************************************************** "Ohayo, Ten-Chan.." A women's voice awakened Tenchi from his sleep. Was it Washu? No, the voice was far to sexy. Suddenly, he realized, much to his horror, that the voice belonged to Ryoko. His eyes shot open. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??!!" he shouted in shock. "Just getting ready to have breakfast." She smiled at him, reveling her fangs. They glistened menacingly in the sun's early rays. "And what's breakfast?" he asked, already beginning to sweat. Instead of answering, she giggled and began to slide down his chest. She stopped at his crotch. "Ryoko?? What are you doing??" Tenchi asked, his voice full of concern. She opened her mouth herroundsly wide. "Getting breakfast." She said again, her fangs beginning to grow. "AND WHAT IS THAT??!!" he demanded. Finally, when her fangs had tripled their length, she answered him. "YOU ARE, TENCHI MY SWEET" and with that, she bit down. HARD. Tenchi screamed in agony as he felt his penis being ripped off his body. Blood poured from his open wound, spreading across the sheets. Ryoko swallowed her prize in one gulp. "And now, for the rest of my meal." ********************************************************************** "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Tenchi screamed as he awoke from his nightmare with a start. He was shaking all over, and the faint smell of urine hung in the air. Also, his heart was beating abnormally fast. "It was all a dream.. A horrible dream.." He said to the darkness. "But would Ryoko ever do something like that?" he thought aloud. "Do what?" a voice asked from behind him. It was unmistakable as to who it belonged to. Tenchi looked up from his chair and saw Ryoko staring back down at him. Not exactly his face, but his crotch. Realizing this, he blushed and attempted to cover himself, but was still tied down. "Geez, don't worry. I'm not the kind of girl to take advantage of the man she loves when he's tied up." "But you tied me up that one time and tried to.." he was cut of by Ryoko, who placed her index finger over his mouth. "True, but it's only fun when I tie you up." She smirked, reveling her fangs. Tenchi grimaced at the sight of them and looked away in revolt. "Tenchi.." She crooned. "What's wrong?" "It's nothing.." "You can tell me. It'll be just between us three." "Three??!" "Yeah, the three of us. He's right here." Ryoko bent down and picked up a boy, probably around 14, off the floor, holding him by the sides as if he was a doll. Tenchi gulped. "Not more strange people." "More?" "There's one more person. He went off with Washu into her lab and left me here. by the way, can you let me up?" "Sure" Ryoko held the boy with one hand, creating an energy sword with the other. Faster then Tenchi's eyes could see, it whizzed through the air, cutting all of the restraining straps down the middle. Tenchi blinked. Quickly, he got up, pulled up his boxers and turned to see the new boy. The most noticeable thing about him was his hair- it was yellow, and very spiky. A long lock hung down the left side, much like Ryoko's. After a brief silence, he asked, "So where did you meet?" "Well, he just sort of fell out of the sky and." she caught herself and blushed. "And then he passed out in agony. I brought him here so Washu could take a look at him to see if he was all right, but she's not around." Tenchi got up to leave. "Gomen Ryoko, but I'm going to have to leave you alone with him. Grandpa's making me practice again today." "Yeah, bye.." Tenchi thought that he noticed a slight hint of irritation in her voice. Ryoko turned away from Tenchi.. Not thinking much of this, he bowed and left. Ryoko kept herself composed, until Tenchi left. "TENCHI NO BAKA!!!!!" her scream filled the lab, echoing. "Every time that I'm alone with him, he has a chance to tell me how he feels. But does he? No. never. It couldn't hurt to hear him say something nice, either. Instead of welcoming me, the first thing that he does is cower and try to cover himself. What a baka." She decided that if Tenchi didn't make his move first, she would. Now, as for Washu. Ryoko slung Dave over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and phased off in search of her. ********************************************************************** Still a bit shaken from his recent nightmare and run-in with Washu, Tenchi prepared to go train with his grandpa out by the shrine. He went upstairs into his room to grab his bokken, seeing no one until he left the house. [Actually, it's just more convent for the story- Sailor Jerpury.] "Ohayo, Mihoshi." He greeted the detective as she approached him up the walkway. "Ohayogozaimas." She replied and bowed. "What brings you around here so early today?" Tenchi asked. "Well, since we don't have patrol today, I thought that I'd spend the day here- if that's all right with you." "Oh sure Mihoshi. You're welcome over any time you like. You know that, don't you?" he said smiling at her. Mihoshi grabbed her reddening face with both of her hands. "Really? You really mean it? I don't know what to say, I'm so, I'm so... embarrassed!" Tenchi scratched the back of his head uneasily. *What's wrong with today?* he wondered. *Everyone's been acting crazy today. except for Mihoshi, she's always like this* Joyously, Mihoshi skipped past Tenchi, face flushed, heading toward the house. Tenchi continued toward the shrine, the whole time thinking about the recent day's events. *does Washu really love me, or is it just science? Why does it always seem like some freak accident or occurrence saves me? And why am I a magnet for people from other worlds?* When he got to the shrine, he was no closer to an answer then he was before. *Knock Knock* He rapped gently on his grandpa's door. "Are you ready for practice yet Grandpa?" he called out. Not wanting to intrude on his privacy, he stood at the door and awaited a response. Nothing. "Where is he??" Tenchi thought out loud and turned to leave. Tenchi felt a gust of wind behind him. Acting instinctively, he placed his bokken horizontally over his head and supported the end with his left hand. Katshuhito jumped off the roof of his shack and slashes downward at Tenchi, only to have his attack blocked by a well placed parry. Upon impact of the two bokkens, he did an interesting forward flip. Turning in mid-air, he landed on the ground to face Tenchi. [Don't ask me were he got the leverage, that's like asking "How do The Dirty Pair's clothing stay on?" It's anime physics O.K., now leave me alone- Sailor Jerpury] "That was a cheap trick, Grandpa." Tenchi remarked, getting his witty banter of the day in at last. "That was a good block Tenchi. But you're going to have to do better then that!" Katsuhito followed up. With their quips out of the way, the two were free to do battle to their hearts content. ********************************************************************** "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Stacy let out one of those really high pitched girly screams that can shatter glass and fine china as she plummeted towards the quickly approaching canopy [doesn't this sound familiar? I need to get better writhing skills- Sailor Jerpury.] With a loud *crash* she hit the trees. In her fall she successfully broke every bone in her body and died. Now, back to the important characters. ********************************************************************** "I DEMAND A REWRITE!!!" Stacy roared as she squeezed Sailor Jerpury's neck. "What *ack* seems to be the problem?" He asked as calmly as one possibly can while having their neck being ringed out by an angry women. "WHAT'S THE PROBLEM!!!!!! I THINK THAT WE ALL KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM HERE IS!!!!!" (-_-*) "YOU KILLED ME OFF AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS STORY!!!!! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE STAR!!!!!" "O.K., *ack* what do you want changed?" She looked him strait in the face. "LET...ME..LIVE..." Stacy tightened her stranglehold. "allright *ack* whatever you want.." Hastily, Sailor Jerpury got back to typing, Stacey's hands still around his neck. ********************************************************************** With a loud crash, she hit the trees. Lucky for her, she landed on a soft object. But she was still slightly battered from the fall. A hail of tree branches and leaves soon followed, hitting her on the head. Below her, Stacy heard a squeaky, chipmunk voice demand, "Get off me!!" She looked down to see a skanky looking girl about 17 with long purple hair tied on both sides. When their gaze met, the women's red eyes were full of shock and disbelief. "Ryo-ryo-ryo-RYOKO??!!!" She stammered. Immediately Stacy recognized the girl. Who wouldn't? It was Aeka, the First Princess of the Planet Jurai. Knowing this, Stacy intended to have some FUN. "Why yes I am Ryoko." She said blatantly. "What's it to you princess??" "But you're so small." Aeka said, still in a state of shock. 'What?" Stacy went up to scratch her head when she discovered something very disturbing. Her hair was no longer long and blonde, but instead spiky.. She plucked a strand of hair out and discovered that it was cyan. "What the hell is this??" She asked in disbelief. "Did Washu do something to your DNA? What did you do to make her mad this time." Aeka breathed heavily and a puff of air came out her mouth. "I didn't do anything!! What's going on here??!!" She stood up. Aeka followed her lead. "Look Ryoko, I can tell that this is just a silly ruse to trick me to go to Washu's lab so you can get your filthy paws on Ten-Sama. But I can see through your diversion. Us members of the house of Jurai aren't as gullible as you may think, let me assure you." Aeka would have kept talking if Stacy hadn't interrupted her. "How arrogant are you?? I know you're an imbred naive little 'Princess', but that's no excuse for what you just said. You're to paranoid Aeka. I have no interest in Tenchi anyway." "Oh really?? Then why do you chase after him so??" "Like I said before, I'm not Ryoko!! What do I have to do to prove that to you??!!" "Well, you look and act like Ryoko, but you don't sound like her. Maybe you're right. But there's only one way to prove if you're Ryoko." "And how's that?" "Ask for Washu's opinion." "O.K., fine. Whatever it takes to get it through your thick skull that I'm NOT Ryoko." She began to walk away, then stopped. "By the way, were is Washu??" "She's probably in her lab working on some kind of insane invention. How could you not know that?? You've been living here for 3 months." She sighed again, exasperated. *Now I know how Kiyoni feels* "Look, the last thing that I need right now is a lippy Princess mouthing off to me. Do you understand??" Stacy began to walk away, then stopped again. *What a strange person.* "What is it now?" Stacy didn't answer. She began wobbling back and forth. Aeka stood up. "I've had enough of you!! Now tell me who you really are!!" Stacy ran into a tree. "Now see here, I'm a Princess and as a princess you owe me some respect. Now answer my question!!" *What's wrong with me??* That was Stacey's last thought before she collapsed in pain. ********************************************************************** "Ohayo??" Mihoshi called out, sticking her head into the Masaki household. "Where is everybody??" She thought aloud as she walked inside, making sure to remove her shoes. Not being the most diligent of people, Mihoshi quickly gave up on her search and wandered out into the back. "It's so beautiful!!" Mihoshi remarked as she watched the sun rise over the lake, turning the water a medium-orange in color. "But it makes me so sleepy.." She stretched out on the deck and closed her big blue eyes. Within minutes she was fast asleep [Must be the cat in her- Sailor Jerpury] ********************************************************************** Still wracked with pain, Eric failed to notice that he was hurtling Earth-ward at a rapid pace. His entire body felt as if it were on fire. His lungs were burning. His throat was dry. Before he even came close to the Earth, he was overcome with pain and fell unconscious. ********************************************************************** Mihoshi's sunshine daydream was ended when her elongated ears caught a loud *splash*. "What is it now??" Mihoshi asked herself as she got up, scratching her head. Then she looked over to the lake and saw ripples being omitted from the center. Slowly, her mind went into action. *There was a splash. And now there's ripples in the lake. When someone hits the water it makes a splash and ripples. Could it be that someone landed in the lake and is drowning.??* She pondered this for a moment, then came to the conclusion that there was indeed someone in the lake, possibly drowning. When her mind realized the importance of the situation, she put her hands on the side of her face. "Oh no!! That person's in trouble!" She quickly stood up and ran over to the lake, calling out to the person in the lake. "Don't worry, I'm going to save you from an untimely demise! It's my duty as a Galaxy Police Officer!" Reaching the lake, she took in a lungfull of air and leapt into the lake. With surprising efficiency, the bubble-headed detective swam down to the lake's murky bottom, past the remnants of Ryo-Ohki and Ryu-Oh. Then, at the bottom of the lake, she saw the person that had landed in the lake. Not taking time to look at him over, she swam to the surface, the boy in tow. Mihoshi took a gulp of air as she broke the surface of the water. She swam over to the side of the lake which was closest to her, which was the side closest to the house, conveniently enough. Using her somewhat limited strength, Mihoshi threw the boy up on the beach. He wasn't breathing. "Oh no, now what do I do?" The Officer asked herself as she thought back to her training. Using one hand, Mihoshi plugged the boy's nose. Then, she opened his mouth and placed hers on top of it, then exhaled. Immediately after that, she placed one hand on his chest and the other on top of it, then she pushed down with both a few times. She placed her head up to his chest and strained to listen for a heartbeat, but heard none. Once again, she administered CPR to the boy. This time she removed her mouth in shock. ********************************************************************** Eric sputtered and awoke, coughing up a lung-full of water. Slowly, his eyes opened and saw someone standing above him. Her blonde hair was wet and dripping, matting it to her forehead. The women's dark skin was offset by her large blue eyes. But her most noticing feature was the large amount of cleavage that her pink tank top was reveling. Eric's eyes suddenly became fixated on her chest. Mihoshi blinked. Her blue eyes began to sparkle as she saw Eric finally open his eyes. "Oh, so you're awake!" She said happily, not bothering to follow his gaze, even though it was obvious to her that he was staring at something intently. Hearing Mihoshi's voice, Eric was broken out of his trance like state. He looked up at the possessor of the breasts and gasped, for it was non other then Mihoshi. [If it isn't obvious to you now, the guys in this fan fic are meeting their favorite anime female as they appear in this series. Stacy was going to originally meet Tenchi, but I was evil and changed my mind. MUWAHAHAHAHAH!!!-Sailor Jerpury] Realizing that Mihoshi had saved his life by administrating CPR, Eric swore under his breath. *Damn it, when she was giving mouth-to-mouth I could have slipped her the tongue! But I was out of it! Damn!* Not being one to waste such an opportunity, Eric put his arms around Mihoshi's back and brought her closer. Wordlessly he leaned forwards and kisser her on the lips. Mihoshi was stunned. She was unsure what to do. *Wow, he's so much more kawaii then Tenchi! Much more handsome too!* Without thinking, Mihoshi returned the kiss. After a short time, they broke the kiss. They stared into each others eyes, which at that point turned into little hearts. Love at first sight. "Thank for saving my life." Eric said, not being unable to think of anything particularly suave to say at the moment. "Doutachimashitai." Mihoshi answered. She was blushing deeply. Eric was about to make another move on Mihoshi when he suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in his side. The feeling spread throughout his entire body, making his nerve endings feel like they were on fire. Trying to stay cool, Mihoshi picked up Eric around the waist. "Don't worry, Eric-Chan, I'll get you to Washu. She'll know what to do. Or at least she should because she plays doctor with Tenchi all the time." Eric fell silent. Mihoshi began to sprint towards the Masaki household. To be continued. Gomen folks, but there's no preview this time. Also, I'm going to try to keep my chapters around 10-20 pages rather then 5, as the first chapter was. And as far as the Eric and Mihoshi part? Well, Eric would probably kill me IRL if I didn't put it, especially after that bokken battle, even though he tripped [or so he says]. Japanese References- Konbanwa-good evening bokken-practice wooden sword. Sensai-teacher. Gomen-sorry. Doko-name prefix meaning 'the great'. Ohayo-informal way of saying 'Good morning.' Chan-name prefix used to show relationship with someone. Daijobu-How are you? Sake-Fermented rice wine. Hentai-pervert. Shi ni-die. Bowing-in Japan you bow to show respect. The deeper the bow, the more respect. Gomen nasai-I'm deeply sorry. Daijobu desu-Are you all right? Hai, daijobu desu-Yes, I'm fine. Miso shiru-soup made of bean curds. Common Japanese breakfast item. SD-super deformed. .no baka-.is an idiot. Baka-idiot, dork, fool, etc. Ohayogozaimas-formal way of saying 'Good morning'.