***********************!!!!WARNING!!!!***************************
THIS FAN FICTION WAS NOT MENT FOR PRYING EYES; IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S
GOOD FOR YOU YOU'LL CLOSE THIS FILE NOW AND PRETEND THAT YOU
NEVER OPENED IT.THIS MEANS YOU DADYOSHII.THIS FAN FICTION MAY OR
MAY NOT BE A LEMON; THIS OUTCOME IS BEYOND MY CONTROL. IM TRYING
TO KEEP THAT FROM HAPPENING, HOWEVER.

     ANYWAYS, THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT TO WRITE A FAN  FIC. YOU
CAN CALL IT A CROSS-OVER IF YOU WANT. FINALLY, A FAN FICTION THAT
DEALS WITH OTAKUS.

     START DATE:5/10/98;12:29 P.M.

     WRITTEN BY:SAILER JERPURY.

     THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THIS PIECE OF WORK ARE, FOR THE
MOST PART, FICTION.


  TITLE:AN OTAKU'S LOVE



CHAPTER 1-WHAT EVERY OTAKU WISHES FOR


     Dave popped his new Verve c.d. into his COMPAQ 5120 and
began to think of a way to spread  Ryokoism across the world. "If
I had a modem, I could start a web page, but since I don't, I
can't. There goes my biggest chance." He sighed and began to
think.
     "I know! I can write a fan fic until I get my modem! The
question now is what should I write about? Of course, it will be
a lemon. Maybe it'll be about Ryoko and Tenchi? Or maybe Kiyoni
and Mihoshi? His mind began to whirl with all sorts of sick
possibilities. 
     "Even better! I'll write one about the cast of Tenchi and my
sempai!!!!! HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!" Dave did the best Kodachi
laugh that he could muster and began typing.

*****************************************************************

     Dave-Ohki was once again in his least favorite part of the
day: The dreaded 6th hour from Hell!(T.M.)
taught by Mr. Hamlin, the oldest person in existence. He was
crusty, senile, and reeked of cheap leather(it was probably
because of the Hush Puppies that he wore).There was also the fact
that he was color blind, and because of this he came to class
every day mismatched and looking like a complete idiot. This in
turn made him the butt of many jokes.
     After letting out a sigh, Dave-Ohki looked down at his
assignment in disgust. There were 59 problems, due at the end of
the hour. And, of course, they were all on Indians. Did I forget
to mention that Hamie was an Indian? Well, he was, and that
wasn't too hard to forget when all of your daily work revolved
around them.
     Dave-Ohki looked over to Matt, who was feverishly working to
finish his assignment by the end of class. "Hey," he whispered.
"Isn't this ridiculous? How does he expect us to answer all of
these questions by the end of the hour, especially when we have
to write the problem and the answer.?"
     "Yeah, no crap." Matt agreed whole-heatedly. "But the worst
thing about this class is the idiots in the back. Why doesn't
Hamie just write them all referrals?"
     It seemed that every hour him and Matt had this
conversation. If there wasn't something to gripe about in this
class, it was another. It wasn't that they were self-righteous,
it was that the school really did suck. Most of the teachers had
been teaching since the school opened way back in 61'. Not to
mention that the kids got away with murder. The really bad ones
always got off clean; while the good kids were always getting
nailed for something stupid.
     "Oh well." Dave-Ohki thought to himself. There wasn't
anything that he could do. He was about to get back to his work
when a spittle hit him forcefully against the left side of his
head. Looking over his shoulder, he saw a familiar sight: Bryan
"The Woz" Wozluski and Bryan Wilson (you know, from the song)
making asses of themselves.
     Dave-Ohki felt that these people had severe mental problems,
especially Sarah, who sang Hanson songs all hour. The scary thing
was that she sounded more like a guy then all of Hanson put
together. 
     Mr. Hamlin casually ignored the mass insanity and continued
stuffing his diabetic face with stale Pringles. All of this
combined made Dave-Ohki feel like Sana from Child's Toy, with The
Woz being Hayama. He laughed to himself at the comparison. "I
wonder what It's really like to be an anime character. I wish
that I can find out some day…."Little did he realize that his
would be fulfilled soon enough He buried his head in his crossed
arms and dozed off, Mr. Hamlin not taking any notice (further
proof that he was a bad teacher).
     Dave-Ohki blotted out the screaming and shouting of 6th hour
with Imasara Sekitsui Dobutsu  by Ai Oraski and fell asleep
quickly. In his  dream, he saw himself running through a flower
field arm in arm  with Ryoko, in super deformed mode(either that,
or they were little kids).The dream was going just as it always 
did, expect that the flowers smelt like cheep leather for some
unknown reason. 
     But really, Dave-Ohki didn't look like Dave'ohki at all. He
had yellow tufts of spiky hair, kept out of his dark-blue eyes
with a black bandanna. In reality, Dave-Ohki had medium-length
brownish  hair with a part on the left side. Also, his eyes were
light, not dark, blue.
     The dream ended as it always did; he gave a tiara made of
flowers to Ryoko and said, "Don't tell anyone who you got these
from, especially my sister." Then everything faded away and he
woke up. The dream always left him with a warm,  happy feeling.
It made him feel one step closer to Ryoko. He had been having the
dream a lot lately. He wondered what it meant, if anything.
     If nothing else, the dream had succeeded in occupying
Dave-Ohki for all of 6th hour. The bell rung, and he was free to
go. Since he was a "Power Person" he got to leave when the bell
rang while the non power people had to wait. Once out of the
classroom, he hastily ran to his locker, threw in his trapper
keeper and history book, grabbed his backpack, and slammed the
locker shut.
     On the way out, he saw Alan and Eric talking and decided to
chat for a minute. "Hey. How are my sempai doing."
     "Don't call me that." Eric said.
     "Hey Dave-Ohki." Alan greeted.
     "I'm not going to need a ride today." Dave-Ohki told Eric.
Usually, he carpooled with Eric, T.J., and Gopher, but today he
wasn't
     "Why not?" Eric asked.
     "Because I have to go to Doug's Dougout for some stuff." He
told the rotund boy.
     "like what?" Alan asked.
     "It's a secret. You can find out at my birthday party in a
week or so, after school gets out." 
     "You basterd." 
      "I know." He threw up a peace sign with his left hand.
"Pese!" He said in Japanese and left the building.
     "What the hell is he talking about?" Eric asked Alan.
      "No idea." 
     They would find out soon enough.
*****************************************************************

     Before Dave-ohki would go to Doug's, he decided to stop at
Mc.Heartattack and get some food. After all, all of those boring
lectures tired him out and he had to walk 5 miles to get to his
house.
     Luckily, almost no one was there when he got there. After
waiting in line for a few minutes, he stepped up to the register.
     "What do you want to order?" A pimply kid with a high voice
asked him.
     "I'll have a Triple Bypass burger, over-iodized  fries with
extra salt, and grape kool-aid."
     "I'm sorry, but we don't have any kool-aid. How about some
Frosh instead?"
     Dave-Ohki gagged. "I'd die from dehydration before I drank
that crap. Give me a Pepsi instead."
     "Can I interest you in an arch deluxe?"
     "What's that?"
     "It's the burger with the grown up taste."
     "Hmmm…" Dave-Ohki was about to say yes, when he remembered
Lemon Sherbert. He didn't want to make the same mistake that
Mousse made, so he declined. "I'll pass"
     "O.K., your total comes to $4 and 36 cents."
      Dave-Ohki gave him a 5 and counted the change that the
pimply kid gave him You could never trust  the scum that workes
at Mc.Heartattack.
      "Here's your order sir." The pimply kid said and handed
Dave-Ohki a brown bag dripping with grease. 
     Dave-Ohki took the bag, trying not to drip grease on his Mr.
Hankie shirt. He grabbed a tray and sat down at the nearest booth
that he cold find. As quick as he could, he shoved the greasy
food down his throat and drank his Pepsi.
     In the booth next to him, a kid sat down and unwrapped an
arch  deluxe and took a big bite out of it.
     "Poor kid." Dave-Ohki said under his breath as the kid began
spasiming  and fell to the floor, twitching. The arch deluxe
police would be there any minute to arrest him, and Dave-Ohki
didn't want to be there when  they did; he couldn't stand pigs.
     Once out of the first Communist Mc. Heartattack  he saluted
in a naziesque style. Humming Karma Police to himself, he began
to walk to Doug's.

*****************************************************************

     "So where's Dave-Ohki?" T.J. asked as he, Gopher, and Eric
entered the van.
     "He was talking about going to Doug's Dougout  to get
something." Eric answered.
     "Like what?"
     "He didn't tell me. He said that it was a secret."
     "It's probably more of those Japanese cartoon porns." Gopher
added."
     "What the hell is wrong with you?" T.J. inquested. "Why do
you call it porn?"
     "Because it is." He answered lamely.
      By now, the van was moving.
      "You shouldn't be so prejudiced, Gopher. You're the one
that gets off to gay porn." Eric pointed out.
     "I DO NOT!!!!!!!"
     "Then why do you moan 'Oh Patrick' in your sleep?" T.J.
asked.
     "No, that's you." Gopher defended lamely again.
     "Then explain THIS!!!!!" Eric shouted  defiantly and held up
a movie  entitled "Seven Men in Seven Minutes.", with a subtitle
that read, "Starring Gopher Powers"
     Gopher turned BEET red and grabbed the video. "Where did you
get this?" he demanded as he stuffed it into his backpack.
     "At the local party store." Eric answered. "The Gay Porn
section.."
     "There's a gay porn section?" Gopher asked, excited.
     "Why are you so happy all of a sudden?" T.J. asked
mockingly.
     Gopher quickly corrected himself. "No reason at all…."   
     Eric and T.J. would be finding out what  the surprise was
very soon. Little did they know….

*****************************************************************

     "That's the last time  I eat at McHeartattack…" Dave-ohki
thought to himself as he walked into Doug's Dougout. The food had
given him serious heartburn, not to mention bad gas…
     When he walked in, his heart jumped when he saw the twins,
Danielle and Stacey's smiling faces. "So what brings you to Dougs
today?" Danielle asked.
     "Why do you ask?"
     "Because we work here!!!" Stacy said enthusiastically. 
     "How did you manage that?"  
     "We just asked. It's not permanent though. Only until hes
done remodeling."
     "Remodeling?"
     "Hi. He's turning this place into an otaku's dream 
     Dave's eyes got real big. "SWEEET!!!"
     "Answer my question." Danielle said. "What do you need?"
     "Doug's got some software that I need. I kind of need to
talk to him about it though…"
     "EEEEEWWWWW!!!!	 IT'S HENTAI ISN'T IT!" They both  cried 
out and hit Dave-ohki over the head with their fists.     
      Dave-Ohki just kind stood there as the two girls brought
their fists  down over his head . He was used to this. They all
ways seemed to hit him over the head, kind of like Ranma and
Akana.  Of course he knew that  they were just fooling around .
Still, he couldn't help but wonder how they really felt about
him, Stacy in particular. 
     He sighed. "no, it's not. My dad's the one that's  like
Nobujuki not me, remember??" 
     "Unless Ryoko's involved." Stacy teased.
     [ For those of you who don't  know, Dave's hopelessly is
love with Ryoko. He wants her BAD- Sailor Jerpury]
    A strange thought ran through his head,  causing Dave to
blush.
     "What kind of sick things are you thinking about now??"
Daniele asked and prepared to knock him upside the head again.
     "It's nothing." He answered uneasily and walked over to the
display cases to talk to Doug in person.
      When he saw Dave approaching, he hastily hid a Sailer Moon
X manga behind his back. "What can I get for you?" He asked
uneasily, sweating.
     "I'm here for the disk."
      "Password?"
     "Hungry dog, no chow."*(Quote from TMGPS2)
     After fumbling around and rummaging through several lose
boxes, Doug presented Dave with a gold c.d.  in an unmarked case.
     "Here's your part of the bargain." Dave said and handed him
a white envelope.
     Dave left the store in a huff, not bothering to say bye to
the twins.
Over at the other end of the store, Doug flipped through his
newly gained un-marked bills.

*****************************************************************



     After 40 minutes of walking, Dave had finally made it to his
house. Breathing a sigh of relief, he pulled out his Bahamut
keychain and  unlocked his front door. His two dogs, Yoshi and
Mokie awaited him with a loud, piercing *bark *.  Dave led the
dogs outside on the way to the basement, where the computer lied.
     Happily, Dave strolled down the stairs and toward the
computer, a.k.a. anime room. Without even taking a moment to gaze
at it's hentai-esque  majesty. Instead, he headed straight
towards the computer, skipping on his way there.
     Humming Cruel Angel Thesis  in his head, he booted up his
compaq and sat down in the computer chair, ready to go. Once the
computer had done its unnesciarily slow start -up, Dave extracted
the gold disk from his pocket.
     Hastily, he took the c.d. out of it's case and put in the
c.d. ROM drive. There was a momentary pause, then suddenly a 
message appeared on the monitor that read "The program has been
installed. Press any key to continue." Dave obeyed. 
     Once this was done, he extracted a large multi-jacked
adapter from a drawer along with 4 v.r. helmets. Still humming to
himself, Dave plugged the helmets into the adapter and the
adapter into the back of the computer. Smiling wickedly, he
exited Windows and entered DOS. Running his Magic Fingers ™
across the keyboard, he quickly typed D:\TENCHI MUYO
     Triumphantly, he raised his finger and brought it down
fiercely on the ENTER button. There was  a whirring sound as the
c.d. activated, soon followed by a menu.
     It read , "*WARNING* THIS PROGRAM IS STILL IN THE
EXPARIMENTAL STAGES. SO FAR, THERE HAVE BEEN NO REPORTED
ACCIDENTS, BUT YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO SAFE. DO YOU STILL WISH TO
CONTINUE Y/N."
     Dave knew what they were talking about by *accidents* and
tried not to think about it. Was it really worth using this
software with such a high risk involved? He knew what could
happen to him, and the thought made him shudder tremendously. For
the most part, the incidents had been kept from the public's
eyes, yet Otaku's had a way of finding stuff out that they needed
to know.
     After contemplating the matter thoroughly, he decided that
what he was doing was well worth the risk. Hesitantly, he hit Y.
     Another menu popped up, but this one was less threating. It
simply read, "Select your character." And listed all of the
Tenchi  cast in alphabetical order. Without a second thought, he
pressed 'Tenchi' and quickly put on his helmet. Then everything
went black.

***************************************************************** 
  
     When he awoke, he was laying down in his bed. Sunlight
streemed through the window and he could faintly hear birds
chirping outside. He rolled over and awoke with a start. 
     Floating in front of  him was none other then Ryoko.
     "Ohayo, Tenchiiii….." Her eyes  were bloodshot, obviously
from lack of sleep.
     Instead of jumping like Tenchi all ways did when he saw the
beautiful demon every morning, he asked her what was on his mind.
"Did you watch over me all night Ryoko?"
     Ryoko looked a little puzzled. "Why would you want to know
that?"
     Tenchi bigsweated. "Well, it's just that I'm surprised that
you care enough about me to watch over me all night long. And,
you also cared enough to not rape me in my sleep."                 
     "Who says that I haven't all ready?" Ryoko flashed a wicked
smile, exposing her gleaming fangs.
     Tenchi was spellbound by her fangs. They were so sharp, so
shiny, so perfect. He stared at Ryoko for a moment, trying to
think of a way to say what he was about to. "Ryoko, I…..I….. I
love you ."
     Ryoko gasped. Her eyes grew wider and wider, until Tenchi
was sure that they were going to burst. Tears welled up in her
blood-shot eyes. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear
those words. It hurt me so much every time that I saw you with
Ayeka and not with me. It hurt me so…" She buried her face in her
outstretched palms and floated down to Tenchi.
     He embraced her and pulled her closer. "You don't know how
long I've waited to say those words Ryoko." Their gaze met each
others. "But I've always loved you. I all ways have and I all
ways will."
     Tenchi moved his face closer to Ryoko's. "I love you…" he
whispered and prepared to kiss her.
     "Ten-Chan…" She moaned just before there lips met.
     Then everything went black again.

*****************************************************************

     Dave came to, staring at a black screen. He slowly removed
his visor. Once he had removed the steam from his glasses, he
looked at his computer screen. 
     There was an error sign flashing sporadically on his screen.
It read, "!!!WARNING!!!THE PROGRAM HAS BECOME UNSTABLE. IT HAS
PERFORMED AN ILLEGEL OPERATION AND SHUT DOWN. PLEASE DO NOY USE
THIS PROGRAM IN THE FUTURE."
     Five minutes later, Dave was still staring at the screen. He
could still feel Ryoko's warm lips touching his, ever so faintly.
"It felt so real…" he muttered. "…So real…"
     He broke out of his catatonic state when he realized the
situation at hand. At last, he had it. His link to the Aniverse.
He finally had what every Otaku dreamed of.

*****************************************************************

Preview of Chapter 2: 

     "Take these." Dave instructed Bill, Stacy, and Eric.
     A bit reluctantly, they put on the bulky helmets.
     "It should be starting aaaanyyy second now." Dave told the 3
as he pressed the ENTER key.
     3-2-1-LOADING…… The computer counted down.
     Stacy was the first to notice that something was wrong.
"I….I don't feel to good…." She keeled over, clutching her gut.
"What's happening Dave?…." her voice was weak.
     "What do you mean?!!!" He took off his helmet, and, to his
shock, saw that everyone's body was dematerializing before his
very eyes. Including him.


To be continued…...