DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A STORY, THIS IS JUST A STORY. IF THIS WERE A REAL EVENT, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED TO PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR KNEES AND KISS YOUR @$$ GOODBYE! I INCORPORATE TENCHI UNIVERSE, DRAGONBALL Z, OUTLAW STAR and COWBOY BEBOP IN MY FANFICTIONS. AND I'M NOT BEING PAID BY FUNiMATION, PIONEER, SUNRISE INC. (BOTH FOR OUTLAW STAR AND COWBOY BEBOP)!! ABBT NO NEED FOR MORE HEADACHES Episode 4: Having a REAL bad day! Yes, it's true, Ryoko and Tenchi got married. And at the wedding, nothing went wrong. Not even Mihoshi screwed anything up. But time passed as time does until one year from the Cell reincarnation incident. The Oxford Family and the rest of the group visited regularly within the first year. But on their one- year anniversary, something happened. AND IT WASN'T MIHOSHI'S FAULT! The backyard was in shambles, but luckily the pool was untouched. The site of everyone gawking, Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, Nobuyuki, Sasami, Rio-Ohki, Goku, ChiChi, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, Bulma, Vegeta, Baby Trunks, Ox, Master Roshi, Tien, Yamcha, Ciao Su, King Kai, The Supreme Kai (Shin), Dende, Mr. Popo, Puyarr, Oolong, the turtle, Master Roshi's old witch sister with the magic crystal ball, number 18 who was showing signs of pregnancy, was only seconded by the two huge starship that was smoking and taking up the entire back yard and falling apart. But let's take this from the beginning... "Jean, I've got two K-Pirate ships on my scope!" Shouted Jim. "What type are they Melfina?" "Type A, GALAXY class starships." "Type A", Jean said under his breath, "Damn! That means they're double grapplers." "Well Jean, what are you going to do? If it was me, as a Ca'tarl-Ca'tarl, I'd fight until the end!" spouted Aisha. "Yeah and the end for you would be two seconds! Now shut up!" Jean screamed. A computer voice came over the speaker, "It would be unadvisable to stay here Jean. We're out of ammunition." "Figures." Said Jean, "Alright. Looks like we're going to have to hit hyperspace with the Sub-Ether drive to escape." Melfina made the preparations. "And you, Brian Chau, strap in before you become a small red splatter all over the back of the ship!" "But...but we're being chased by K-Pirates!" He muttered. "That's right and if you don't obey Jean, I'll have to kick your ass until you are unconscious and can be shoved into the laundry container, GET IT?!" Tsazuka cried. The timid man did as he was told. Brian Chau was Freddie Lo's second cousin and as a favor, Freddie asked Jean to take Brian to the third nebula cloud of Enoch 5 for scouting of land for some branch offices of his arms dealership. Unfortunately, that was not the truth. Freddie sent Brian with a small black pouch of precious blue diamonds to deliver to Javid Mesaria on Enoch 5 as payment of supplies that were given to Freddie. Rare and valuable parts that only Freddie would have in stock, including canister shells and a new canister weapon. But the K-Pirates were tipped off about this secret shipment aboard the Outlaw Star and pursued. "Mel-finaaa, how about that Sub-Ether?" Jean asked hastily. "Sixty seconds Jean. We were operating on low power to conserve energy and I have to restart all systems." "That's just great. We'll be slag in sixty seconds. I hate to do this but..." Jean turned on the radio-transmitter switch. "Spike, catch an earful of this." Jet turned on the speakerphone. "MADAY, MADAY, MADAY, this is the Outlaw Star, I'm Captain Jean Starwind, we are under attack by two K-Pirate type A GALAXY class starships and are in need of assistance, over!" "Ed thinks we should help." Ed replied, then Ein barked in agreement. "Well Spike...what do you say?" Faye asked. "Are you a cowboy or aren't you? I thought cowboy's were supposed to be fearless and-" "Will you give it a rest? Jeez-zus!" Spike switched on the transceiver, "Outlaw Star, this is the starship Bebop, I'm the second in command Spike, we hear you, en route to assist. Sit tight. Over. Alright Ed, let's move!" "Movey movey movey vrrrooommm." Ed made like he was a plane and flew over to his laptop. "Clickety-click and," with a touch of the enter key, the overdrive engines kicked in and the cowboys were on their way. "Good. Alright Melfina, how's the Sub-Ether comin'?" asked Jean. "Fifteen seconds." "Jean, the K-Pirates are within grappler range. Engage?" Jim asked "No. We wait it out until help comes. Shift all reserve energy to shields now." "What are you? A COWARD?! As a Ca'tarl-Ca'tarl, we never ask for help or show fe-" "WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Tsazuka screamed. Aisha blinked with big glazed over eyes, crossed her arms and made a smug expression and a disagreeable "HARRUMPH!" scoff and a nose-turning gesture. "Alright Jim, they'll be coming now, switch to infrared scanning, put it on- screen." A few clicks and enter pushes and that command was finished. "Wait a minute...where'd they go?" Jean asked seriously concerned. Jim's eyes got as large as hen's eggs, "BOTH SHIPS AT MARK FOUR FIVE POINT SIX!" "RELEASE THE GRAPPLERS!" Melfina released the grapplers and had the ion cannon and E.M.P. switch ready. "Unidentified K-Pirate ships, this is the starship Bebop, and it would be advisable for your health and well being to disappear scumbags!" Jet said over the speakerphone. "You've got to be kiddin'. We've got class A's, you're slag!" said one of the K-Pirate ships. "SWORDFISH ready for launch Jet." Spike replied. "Take 'em out spike! Outlaw Star, don't be a hero, retract your grappler arms." "What are you nuts? We're ready for hand-to-hand, just not distance fighting." Jean responded. "Alright, but don't get in over your head." "Over your heady head-head!" Ed sang. "Should I take out my ship?" Faye asked. "No, I need you to get your little ass up to the quad guns and go for their engine reactors." Faye smirked, flipped Jet off and promptly ran to the gunnery. "Hey Spike." "Yeah" Spike lit a cigarette and took a long drag. "Go for the cockpits of those K-Pirate ships. " "Why?" He blew out the inhaled smoke. "'Cause Faye is going for the engine reactors." "Faye? You might as well of gotten Ein to man the guns." "Can you shot Ein?" Ed asked while putting on her goggles. Ein barked and shook his body. Ed stood up and put her laptop on the table by the sofa and booted up. She chanted something in English but to Jet it sounded like "alienesse". "K-Pirate ships, this is your last warning. Back off of the Outlaw Star or I will blast you into space dust!" Jet warned again. "BLAST THIS!" One of the K-Pirate ships managed to get passed the Outlaw Star's grappler arms and grab one of the cooling units where the Flux Halifax was located. "Oh shit! They got the F.H.!" Jean screamed. "The F.H.?" Tsazuka asked. "The Flux Halifax. The thing that prevents us from going so fast into hyperspace, we time travel." Jim explained. "Time travel?" Aisha asked with a blank look on her face. "Starship Outlaw Star, this is Jet from the Bebop. Check your scopes, there are five, that is zero-five more K-Pirate ships en route to this location, I suggest we lock oxygen seals and join the ships together then make a hyperspace jump. Over." "That would be a good idea, if it weren't for the-" But Jean was cut off. "CORRECTION OUTLAW STAR. THERE ARE TWENTY K-PIRATE SHIPS EN ROUTE! NO MORE STALLING, LOCK UP NOW! SPIKE, GET BACK TO THE BEBOP, WE'RE JUMPING!" "Aw man, I was just having fun. Damn K-Pirates." Spike complained. "Alright Brian, you strapped in?" Jean asked but no answer. He looked back and saw Tsazuka walking away from what look liked a person wrapped up in a shroud of seat belts. "He isn't going anywhere." "Good, you better buckle up Tsazuka, we're going to jump." "Jump? What about the F.H.?" "No choice. Would you rather be space dust?" Tsazuka smirked and obeyed. The rest of the Outlaw Star also obeyed. Spike returned from space and docked with the Bebop then the Bebop docked and locked down with the Outlaw Star. The two ships together in that odd position look like a piece of modern art. "Alright Outlaw Star, HIT IT!" Jet ordered. "LET'S GO!" Jean shouted. As Melfina turned on the hyperspace jets, the Bebop did the same. "Where do you think they came from?" Asked Mihoshi. "I have no idea." Tenchi replied. "But I think they're starships." "Yeah. By the looks of them, they were in a pretty intense battle." Commented Kiyone. A door opened on the Outlaw Star, and poured fourth from the smoke was a child- like figure. It was Jim. "Do they come in peace?" Asked Mihoshi with a stupidity gleam in her eyes. Jim coughed up the smoke and soot that he had inhaled while in the ship. He looked at the group of dumbfounded people, then over to the Bebop's door that was hanging off by one hinge. A child's cry came from inside the Outlaw Star. Tenchi and Ayeka went to help. It was Brian who was ripped from the straps upon impact. He stumbled out of the door and fell six feet to the ground and landed face first in the semi-soft grass. The rest of the two crews emerged. Ein was on top of Ed's head with his tongue hanging out. Tenchi asked, "What happened to ya'll?" Spike and Jean looked at each other, then back at the group, then back at each other, then said at the same time, "Bad day at the office!" ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF NO NEED FOR MORE HEADACHES Episode 5: Questions, Enigmas, Epiphanies and a Pretty Lady The crew of the Outlaw Star and the Bebop explain. Then Tenchi and the others have explaining to do as well. When everything is understood, NOBODY KNOWS NOTHING MORE THAN THEY DID 5 MINUTES AGO! And also, an enigmatic problem presents itself. And Mihoshi falls down again!!