<--Basic Disclaimer. Tenchi Muyo and all characters therein are property of AIC and Pioneer. Deacon Briars and the Infinites are property of the Infinity Writing Staff (of which I'm a member). Please visit the World of the Infinites at the following URL: www.geocities.com/backspaced.geo/index.html This fic has ONE (1) use of the F-Word, so anyone who may be offended, you've been pre-warned. On a personal note, I've just spent the last half-hour converting this from Word to .txt format, and I'm real grumpy about the whole deal. Couln't we be able to simply submit HTML?? I hate this conversion crap! :-( --> Tenchi Muyo! No Need for ... Vampires?!?! Part One: No Need for a Crash Landing! The young man stood hoeing the carrot patch, stopping only to wipe the sweat from his brow. As he worked, he heard a sound nearby. “Mew, meow!” He turned to see Ryo-Ohki pawing near the ground. “Trying to go after carrots again? You have to wait for them to grow.” The cabbit meowed sadly, then hopped over the young man. As Tenchi Masaki petted the cabbit, he looked up towards the bright blue sky. As he gazed, he spotted something strange. Something in the sky sparkled. As he stared, Tenchi realized that something was coming down from the sky very fast. He turned and ran just in time, as a blue beam pounded into the ground inches from where he stood. After the dust cleared, Tenchi could hear Ryo-Ohki’s mews as she looked into the crater that the beam made. Tenchi’s curiosity got the better of him, and he peered into the shallow crater. What he saw shocked him. Lying in the crater was a man. As Deacon Briars came to, the first thing he saw was bright, blinding light. Scowling, he went for his shades. As he stood, he looked at his surroundings, which seemed to be a farm field of a sort. //- Great, I get blasted out of the Void and crash land in a freaking field in the middle of nowhere, -\\ he thought. He started to walk away, only to hear an animal cry out, “Mew! Meow, Meow!” He turned to see that he was not alone. Standing next to the crater he made when he landed was a young man, who Deke guessed was tending the fields, and a small furry animal mewing it’s head off. //- The natives have arrived. Well, time to figure out where I am. -\\ As Tenchi looked on, he saw the man rise up from the crater and walk towards him. He didn’t know this strange man who fell from the sky, but he sure looked like he wasn’t enjoying himself. The stranger looked like a young man, black haired, with sunglasses on his face and a scowl that appeared threatening. He wore a long black trenchcoat and a strange sort of bodysuit. As the stranger got closer, he spoke. “Where am I, kid?” he said in a soft growl. “Well uh, you’re standing in my carrot field.” “Yeah. Where’s the nearest town or city?” “About twenty miles off that way? Why do you ask?” As Deacon questioned the boy, he figured that he landed out in the middle of nowhere. He had to get to a city and figure out how to contact any of the Infinites. When he got the directions, he decided to beat feet. First… As Tenchi answered the man’s questions, he wondered why would anybody be asking such questions after immediately falling out of the sky. Oh well, he’d probably have to ask Washu about it later. After he told the man where the nearest town was, he started to walk towards Tenchi. “What are you doing, sir?” he asked. The stranger just strode right up to Tenchi, put his hand on his shoulder, took off his glasses and then….. Deacon had rules he lived by. One of which was to make sure, when alone and in a new and possibly hostile environment, that no potential threats knew where he was headed. He decided to use his powers to Persuade the kid to forget about his arrival on this world. As he took off his shades, he stared into the boy’s eyes. After making the psychic link with the kid’s mind, he uttered his command. ||| “I was never here.” ||| The boy seemed to just freeze. After checking his pupils, he found that the kid just stood there, like a statue in the field. //- Strange, that never happened before. Oh well, at least my tracks are covered. -\\ Deacon walked off, ignoring the meows of the furry animal as he, she, or it hopped around the kid’s frozen feet. He continued to walk, pausing to take a swig of his “Deacon-ade” flask for nourishment. //- Let’s see, -\\ he thought to himself, //- it’s noon here, I can walk for a good two hours, then rest up, resume at sundown, then cover the rest of the miles about in time for…What the Hell!!! -\\ Suddenly, a young woman materialized directly in front of Deacon. He never saw this white haired girl before, but from the fire in her yellow eyes, he know he wasn’t dealing with a friendly local now. “What did you do to Tenchi, creep!” The girl yelled. Deacon wondered, //- Who the hell’s Tenchi? -\\ Then he remembered the boy. Apparently this girl witnessed his actions and was now ready to administer a little payback. Deacon groaned, he didn’t have time to fight off an angry girl because he put the whammy to her boyfriend. “Get out of my way, now.” He growled at the girl. Ryoko seethed in utter rage. //- How dare this freak do whatever-he-did to Tenchi, and then dare to tell me, Ryoko, the most feared Space Pirate in the Galaxy, the Demon Summoner herself, to go buzz off!!! Ohh, he’s gonna pay! -\\ She felt the power build up in her body as she got ready to blast the freak off the face of the Earth. Deacon continued to walk towards the angry woman. “Like I said, get out of my way. Now.” He paused as he saw the girl’s hands glow bright red with energy. //- I must have pissed off the wrong lady, -\\ Deacon glumly realized. “You hurt the only man I ever loved,“ the woman said through clenched teeth, “and now, I demand revenge!” With that, she blasted two balls of energy straight at Deacon. Deacon quickly dodged out of the way as the blasts dissipated into the earth. Deacon quickly charged at the girl, planning to tackle her, weaken her with a quick bite, and then run. His plan went *poof* as soon as the girl quickly floated up into the air. As Deacon stared at the floating girl, he saw her form a sword of energy in her hands. “You’ve better pray to whatever deity you have, fiend, for I, Ryoko, the Galaxy’s most feared criminal, will never rest until I have utterly destroyed you for what you have done to Tenchi, whatever it was!” And with that battle cry, she charged. Ryoko sped towards the soon-to-be-dead assailant, revenge in her mind. Rage turned to surprise, as the man just seemed to vanish right before her eyes. //- Huh? How’d he do that? How could he just disappear when I was just about to oh my God I’m flying right into the ground ahhhh!!! -\\ THUD! Ryoko quickly got up and dusted herself off. She looked around for her prey and found him running with incredible speed towards the Masaki house. “You’re gonna pay for that!” she yelled as she took to the air again, flying towards the man. “Get ready to face my wrath, buddy-boy!” As she chased him towards the house, she spotted Ayeka coming out. //- Well what do you know? Little Royal Princess Pain-in-the-Butt’s here. -\\ As Ayeka came out to see how Lord Tenchi was doing, the scene she witnessed boggled her mind. There was Lord Tenchi standing out in the field, still as could be, with Ryo-Ohki running around franticly. And who was this gentleman being chased by that tramp Ryoko? “Excuse me, but what is going on here?” she asked. The running gentleman turned to her and screamed out…. Deacon ran towards the house as fast as he could, trying to dodge the blasts that this “Ryoko” was firing. As he saw the young woman walk out of the house, his thoughts were that the girl could be a causality of the mess he’d gotten himself in. The girl called out, “Excuse me, but what is going on here?” He screamed at her, “Run lady!” hoping she’d take cover back in the house and be safe, but he couldn’t expect what happened next. Ryoko, still chasing after him from the sky, yelled out, “Hey Ayeka! This creep did something to Tenchi!” As Deke ran, he saw the girl, Ayeka he guessed, turn to look at Tenchi frozen in the yard, then back at him, then back to the kid. When she looked back at Deke, her eyes were burning with anger. “You dare to attack my Lord Tenchi, you knave! Prepare for swift and just punishment!” //- Good God, another girl after my head, -\\ Deke thought, //- what god have I pissed off to deserve this? -\\ As Ayeka fumed, he saw little wooden cylinders materialize next to her. They crackled with electric fire. They flew out, ready to fry Deke on the spot. He’d need to pull off an evasion tactic fast to save himself. Ayeka’s scouts sped towards the target. She grinned in delight. //- Soon, the fiend will taste bitter justice! -\\ she gloated. As she watched, she gaped in awe as the man quickly spun to the side and leapt twenty yards in the air, narrowing dodging the scouts. “How did he do that?” she wondered aloud, and was soon to follow up with, “Where did he go?” when, upon landing, the man seemed to vanish from sight. Ryoko zoomed over to where the man disappeared. “Ryoko, where is the villain? Has he vanished?” “Nah, I’ve seen him do this. He just moves real fast. Look, he’s in the forest. Let’s get him!” “Right!” Ayeka cried as she and Ryoko charged of into the forest, “The coward will learn to dread the day he mistreated my Lord Tenchi!” “Your Tenchi? Ha! Yeah right, Princess!” Deacon took cover under canopy. As he hid, he silently cursed his bad luck. >From trying to get to civilization to getting chased by two very angry, powerful girls. As he tried to plan how he could escape, he heard the girls’ voices taunting him. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” the one named Ayeka called out in a fake sweet tone. “Yeah, come out here, creep!” the other one, Ryoko, yelled out. Deacon waited for a chance to run as he listened to the girls, trying to locate their positions by sound. “I don’t know who you are stranger, but you’ve committed a very serious crime by hurting Lord Tenchi. You’re in trouble deep!” “The princess has a point pal. You’ve hurt the only man I’ve truly loved, and for that, there can be only one response!” Deacon listened to the voices. He reasoned they were far enough for him to leave his perch on the tree and run. Just as he got ready to jump, Ryoko suddenly materialized in front of him, carrying Ayeka with her. “The only recourse”, both yelled in unison, “is utter vengeance!” Deacon just got off the tree before Ryoko’s energy blasts and Ayeka’s electrical beams destroyed it. He ran out of the forest, and spotted a small gate bordered by two large wooden pedestals. He blurred towards it just as the girls emerged from the woods. “Azaka! Kamadake!” Ayeka screamed, “Attack the intruder!” Deke looked on as the two pillars started to turn towards him. “You got to be fucking kidding!” Deke swore as the pillars started to quake with energy. As the two pillars readied to attack, Deke got ready for one last trick. Just as the two pillars fired, Deacon leapt into the air, dodging the blasts and soaring over the pillars and gate. Judging from how slow they moved, by the time he hit dirt, he could blur as far away from this twisted place as possible. The grass of his landing spot loomed ever closer, closer, Deke readied for landing, closer… He hit dirt. He saw with surprise that instead of landing on grass, he was kneeling on dirt. The kind of dirt you’d find in fields…. He looked around. Carrot fields, the crater, that kid still frozen and that pet mewing it’s head off. He had no idea what happened, but he found himself back at the place where he entered this god-forsaken world. And, right on cue, Ryoko and Ayeka arrived, ready to fight. Deacon growled. This wasn’t gonna be easy.. As Ryoko and Ayeka arrived at the patch, they found two things: One, Tenchi was just beginning to come out of his trance. Two, the jerk that had vanished after leaping over Ayeka’s guardians was back here as well. As they dashed towards the for, they saw him shrug off his black overcoat, and stopped in their tracks when they discovered that the man had an assortment of guns strapped to his bodysuit. As he pulled out two nasty looking guns, he yelled out, “I don’t know how this crap got started, but I’m ending it right now!” To Be Continued… Please E-Mail comments to dwendorf@usa.net