*
    Aeka was born on a small farm on the planet Jurai.  She had many
hobbies,
riding horses, S&M, but most of all she lived to torment the farm girl who
worked for her family.  The girl's name was Ryoko, but Aeka never called her
that.
    "Farm girl!"  Aeka ordered forcefully,  "Fetch me a pitcher of water."
    "As you wish," Ryoko replied, her remarkable golden eyes looking deep
within Aeka's.
However, Ryoko never took kindly to being ordered around.  After fetching
the
pitcher, she dumped the icy cold water over Aeka's head.  These retaliatory
actions did not discourage Aeka from trying to make Ryoko's life miserable.
"Farm girl," she demanded, as she walked into the kitchen for breakfast, "I
wish to have two eggs sunny side up!"
"As you wish," the farm girl replied, cracking two eggs and dripping the raw
yolk into Aeka's long purple hair.
  However, as time went on, something remarkable happened.  Aeka realized
that when Ryoko said "As you wish," what she meant was, "I love you."  Aeka
also realized that when Ryoko did such things as purposely tearing off her
mistress's bathing towel at the onsen, what she meant was, "I want you."
Even more remarkable, was the day Aeka realized she truly loved and wanted
Ryoko too.
    "Farm girl!"  She commanded blushing and pointing directly over her
head,
"fetch me that whip, please."
"As you wish," Ryoko whispered, reaching for the whip. "
Then, as the sun slowly slipped into the darkness of night, Aeka and Ryoko
kissed.
*
"Hold it!  Hold it! What is this?  Where's the sports?  They can't kiss
they're women!  Is this a kissing book?" the grandson asked.
"Wait just, wait.  Keep your shirt on," his grandfather told him.  The boy
reluctantly sat back and continued to listen to the story.
*
Ryoko had no money for marriage, and one of the few places in the galaxy
that
would allow a marriage between two women was a country called the
Netherlands
on planet Earth.  So Ryoko packed her few belongings and went to seek her
fortune in space.  It was a very emotional time for Aeka.
"I fear I will never see you again," she sobbed.
"Hear this now," Ryoko said, "I will always come for you."
"But how can you be sure?" Aeka questioned.
"We have great sex.  Do you think that happens every day?"
Sadly, Ryoko never reached her destination.  Her ship was attacked by the
Dread Space Pirate Roberts, who never left prisoners alive.  When Aeka got
the news that Ryoko had been murdered, she locked herself in her room and
did
not sleep or eat.  She vowed that she would never love again.
Five years later, the great Prince Kagato announced to the people of Jurai
that he intended to marry a commoner.  The Princess Aeka was presented to
the
people as Kagato's future bride.  However, she was filled with emptiness, as
she did not love her fiancée.  The only joy she found was riding her horse.
One day when she had ridden further than usual, she stumbled upon three
strangers in the woods.  They stood in a row.  The leader was a woman with
long blue hair.  She was accompanied by a dark-haired boy, with a sword at
his side, and a small girl with two long blue pigtails.  A creature that
appeared to be a cross between a cat and a rabbit rested on her head.
"Excuse me Lady," the leader began, "but is there a town near here?"
"No, not for miles." Aeka replied.
"Then no one will hear you scream," the leader said.  The small girl, who
was
surprisingly strong, pulled Aeka to the ground, knocking her unconscious.

While Aeka lay unconscious, Kiyone tore a piece of fabric from her kimono
and
attached it to the saddle of a horse bearing the emblem of Earth, the planet
that was the sworn enemy of Jurai.
"What are you doing?" Sasami asked her.
Kiyone slapped the horse and sent it running in the direction of Kagato's
castle.  She slipped through the hatch of her space ship, "Once this horse
reaches Kagato's castle, the prince will suspect that soldiers from Earth
have abducted his love.  When he finds her dead on Earth, his suspicions
will
be confirmed."
"Hey, you never said anything about killing anybody?" Sasami objected as
Kiyone closed the door of the ship.
Kiyone sighed, "I hired you to help me start a war."
"I just don't think it's right to kill an innocent person," Sasami pouted.
"Am I going mad," shouted Kiyone, "or did the word 'think' escape your lips?
I didn't hire you for your brains. You haven't even graduated from the
second
grade yet!"
"Gee Kiyone, I agree with Sasami," Tenchi said scratching his head.
"Meow," Ryo Ohki chimed in.  She was seated on Sasami's head.
"Oh, the lush has spoken!" Kiyone screamed.  "When I found you, you were so
drunk you couldn't buy sake!"  She turned to Sasami, "And you, friendless,
clueless, hopeless, do you want me to send you back to where you were,
working at a sweatshop for Disney?!  And you," Kiyone turned to the cabbit,
"When I found you, you were living in a pet store and nobody would buy you
because they didn't know what the hell you were!  Do you want me to send you
to the pound?!"
"Meow," Ryo Ohki cried sadly.
Tenchi and Sasami watched as Kiyone stalked off to the cockpit of the ship.
"That Kiyone, she sure can bitch," Tenchi said, emphasizing the last word.
"Bitch…bitch…" Sasami repeated.  "She really is a witch!" she rhymed.
"She must have a stick up her butt," Tenchi continued.
"She really is a slut!" Sasami giggled.
Tenchi smiled, "You have a great gift for rhyme," he told her.
"Thank you," Sasami said blushing.
"Hey!" Kiyone shouted from the cockpit, "Are there any asteroid fields
ahead?"
"If there are, we'll all be dead," Sasami replied.
"No more rhyming!  I mean it now!"  Kiyone snapped.
"Meow!" Ryo Ohki sang as the ship left the planet Jurai's atmosphere.
Hours later, Aeka awoke.  Her kidnappers were lounging around the spaceship,
all except for the young man with the dark hair who was looking nervously
out
the back window.
"Why are you doing that?" the leader asked impatiently?
"I want to be sure nobody's following us, Kiyone," he answered her.
"That would be inconceivable, Tenchi," she replied.  "Nobody on Earth knows
what we've done and nobody from Jurai could have gotten here so fast.  It's
absolutely inconceivable, but out of curiosity, why do you ask?"
"Because there's a ship behind us," Tenchi told her.
"What?" Kiyone leapt up, turning her back to Aeka.  "It's probably just some
local space fisherman out in eel infested space."  At that moment, they
heard
the emergency door slam shut as Aeka, wearing a space suit, jumped out of
the
ship.
Kiyone turned to Tenchi, "Go after her!" she screamed.
"Uh, we only have one space suit," Tenchi said.
"God damn it!" Kiyone swore.  "Veer left!" she ordered.  Outside the ship, a
strange, high-pitched crying could be heard.
"Do you know what that sound is, princess?" Kiyone spoke into the ship's
intercom system, so that Aeka could hear her, "Those are the shrieking space
eels!"  The sound of the crying was increasing in volume.  Kiyone continued,
"They always grow louder when they're about to consume human flesh!"
By now, Aeka could see the eels, swimming toward her in the blackness of
space, barring their white, sharp fangs.  She gasped.