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The Laughter of the Gods, Goddamn them.- Part 3
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When you come to, you think a few things. With me it's generally "What
was I drinking last night/Did anyone spike anything I drank/Where the
hell am I/Oh my God who is this?"

Okay, I have never had to worry about the last one.

But this time, I ran through all these. Because I saw Reioko looking
straight down at my face.

Admittedly, this was a beautiful sight to wake up to first thing in the
morning, but it's a first for me. 

"All right?"

"Yep." I got up and stretched. And noticed the acute lack of pain. "What
happened to me?"

"Oh, broken ribs, potential loss of an eye, horrible damage to various
internal organs..." The woman in the corner rattled off a list of
injuries I wouldn't wish on anyone.

"How come I'm still alive?"

"Anything is easy for the greatest Genius in the Galaxy!"

"Washuu? I thought you had red hair?"

The black-haired woman rose up. "That's my sister!
_NEVER_MISTAKE_ME_FOR_HER!_"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"Anyhow, I fixed you up. I'm Katenu, younger sister to Washuu." She
almost spat the word out, as if it left a horrible taste in her mouth. 

"Did you do a blood test on me?"

"Yeah. Everything's absolutely normal."

"DNA?"

"Perfectly human. Why?"

"Damn." I had had a faint hope that I might have had a little Juraian
DNA in my system. But never mind. I suppose I might be able to get some
'upgrades' from Katenu. Here went nothing...

"Katenu, would you like to know where your sister is right now?"

"Sis? Where? KILL!"

I ducked. 

I waited for the explosion I was sure was about to occur.

It didn't. This I found unusual, as an energy bolt had zipped over my
head. And then I heard it. 

*glingleingleingle*

Looking round, I saw that Reioko had caught the energy blast her mother
had thrown. But I was more interested in the noise. 

"You again!"

"EEP!"

I pulled the diminunitive God of Outrageous Coincidence and Circumstance
out from behind the sofa,and kicked him into a corner.

"REIOKO! I have had enough of this twerp! Where did I put my Bokken?"

"Umm... I cut through it yesterday." I couldn't see her face, but she
sounded sheepish.

"Damn!" 

"I'm going, I'm going!"

The little pest fell backward through the wall, as an outrageously
coincidental portal opened up behind him.

"You seem to have some supernatural problems round here," said Katenu.
"Let me furnish you with a new weapon that will smite the supernatural-
and be damn useful against any other threat you may name. Nothing's too
hard for the greatest genius in the universe."

I grinned. This was a moment I'd been waiting for. "Right then. I'll
have a pair of swotds, one about a meter in length, the other
approximately two-thirds of a meter. Both with energy blades, and an
intimidating firey effect." 

"An energy Daisho, in other words."

*glingleingleingle*

"Wow. They actually exist?" I tried to ignore the noise. Reioko thumped
him again.

"Yep. Or they will, once I finish setting up the apparatus!"

Twenty minutes later, I had the two rather incredible weapons in my
hands. They hummed like lightsabers. 

"Perfect!" Now to have a little fun. "Your sister is in Japan."

"Which planet is that on?"

"This one."

"Show me." A holographic representation of the world popped into being
in front of me, and I pointed to the islands.

"Is my cousin there as well?"

"Yep."

Mother and daughter looked at each other. I didn't like their
expressions. 

"What are you going to do?"

Reioko turned to look at me with a nasty grin on her face. "Why, my dear
Matthew, we're going to pay them a visit. And settle our differences
once and for all. Now put on your combat gear, if you have any, and come
with us."

I thought about my Gi and hakama, and decided not to take them.

As I was dragged into a subspace gateway to Katenu's ship, I realised
that yet again I could hear laughter.

The laughter of three deities with perverse senses of Humour.

End of part three.