Laughter of the Gods, Goddamn Them.
By Harrison, C (CMHARRIS@glam.ac.uk)

The characters in this are mine. Later on, characters that aren't will
appear- probably about chapter 3.
OH! Toltiir is owned by Gregg Sharp, and Urd is owned by Kosuke
Fujishima.
Sorry 'bout that.

I'd just like to say that this is probably the second stupidest idea
I've ever had.  

************************************************************************


It has been said that those whom the Gods want to destroy, they first
make insane.

	This is not true. 
	
	It is only those whom the Gods want to have a little fun with
that they drive insane. Purely because being omnipotentish beings, they
have an overinflated opinion of human tolerances.

	This is my story. Be careful what you wish for; you may just get
it.

	In short never say ANYTHING.

	Sleepless Night productions bring you: 


	The Laughter of  the Gods, Goddamn them.
	-----------------------------------------------------

	Lying awake, one night, I read again through my collection of
'Tenchi Muyo!' Fics and the manga. A thought occurred to me, and,
probably due to my vaguely inebbriated state, I actually voiced it.

	"I wish I had a girlfriend like Ryoko."

	Big mistake. 

	Unknown to me, Urd, hotcha sexy Goddess of the Past, was well
and truly lost while trying to teleport through the TV system. 
	
	"Where the hell am I? WALES?! Sheesh..."

	This was when she heard my wish. I hadn't been chosen to make a
wish, and so I was spared for a while. But she made a note of it, and
grinned as she thought of the possible consequences. Then she was off
again, off through the complex network that is the TV system.

	That night, I had a very bizarre dream which started with me
being in Tenchi's place, for starters, then fighting a Ryouga lookalike
outside my local pub, using a weapon exactly like the one used by the
First Devil of Kimone that Jubei fights in 'Ninja Scroll'.

	Hey, I SAID it was bizarre. It was a dream. Not my fault.

	But throughout it, I heard laughter, and a discussion.

	An' it went a little something like this: (Cue breakdancing
music)

	"Seriously, Toltiir, that's what he said!"

	"That must be a seriously odd kid."
	
                "I think we should give him his wish."

	"What, and go against the Almighty?"

	"No need to do that. There are some times when  we can act on
our own. He needs a girlfriend. And I am the goddess of love."

	"Hey, let me take a part in this mischief! I am the goddess of
bizarre romantic subplots..."

	"Aa, Takahashi-sama! I think we can cause a little havoc in this
life if we do this carefully..."

	I woke up then. I'm a Methodist, and don't believe in more than
one God. 

	Or rather, didn't.

	That following morning was a Saturday, and as it was a nice day,
headed up onto the mountain to practice my Martial arts. Kendo and
Karate. There was a nice standing stone up there. 

	Yes, I did say was. 

	While practicing my Kendo, I tripped, to the accompaniment of a
little *glingleingleingle* noise. 

	"Oh SHIT!"

	Maybe I should have yelled 'Bakusai Tenketsu!' instead, because
I hit the stone. It shattered. Well, it certainly would have been more
appropriate.

	According to local legend, there was a witch buried under that
stone. Sure enough, there was something under it. I didn't see any
bones, but I reckoned that they would have decayed by now. But there was
a small pouch there, and it contained five small, blue gems. Each about
the size of a medium marble. 

	My normal danger senses SHOULD have been blaring like a geiger
at Chernobyl, but they weren't. 

	I pocketed them, even though there was something nastily
familiar about them. 

	I thought I had pocketed them. I dropped one, to the
accompaniment of more *glingleingleingle*. 

	I found out about that when I got home. 

	I opened the door, slowly, and saw that something was wrong.
Very wrong. For a start, Noone else should have been in the house, and
there was a bath running. I pulled my bokken out, and crept upstairs. 

	I couldn't see anything. Or anyone. But there was a little note
stuck to the bathroom mirror. 

		Dear Matthew,
			We couldn't help but grant your wish. Purely to
see what happens next.

		Yours, 
		The Trinity of Chaos.
		Takahashi, Urd, and Toltiir.

	<What wish?> I thought. And then thought back to last night. And
a certain comment while drunk. 

	"Oh no..."

	Forewarned is forearmed.

	"PERVERT!" A light sword swished through a small area where I
had just been. 

	I tried to parry with my bokken, but couldn't. 

	The stunning, cyan-haired, red-eyed, and also nude, young woman
bore down on me. I wasn't paying much attention to any of these at the
minute as I was hoping like hell that that sword was not about to remove
my head or any other part of my anatomy...

End of part one.

The Novocastrian Samurai:
            Bushi, Kenshi,
            Bishonen Sailor Senshi.
*************************
"Come, muse, let us sing of rats."
"Kunou-baby, you're drunk."