It's All Tenchi Ever Wanted
By The Unknown DJ

Intro: I wrote this story, because I hate N'SYNC, the Backstreet Boys,
and all other whiney, poser boy bands. They takeaway what music stands
for, by selling their songs by over exposing their chests and selling
out the biggest buyers. I feel that people who can actually write their
songs and play their own damn instruments should get more recognition,
because they actually have some skill. So if any of you people are die
hard N'SYNC fans, this fic is not for you. Note: ALL LOVERS OF ROCK AND
KICK ASS MUSIC, THIS FIC IS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!


        "Yes! They finally came!" yelled Washu, as she ran into her lab with
a
parcel in her hand. Every sat in the living room, stunned. What package
could make Washu so happy and energetic? Slam! Washu came back out of
the lab, with 5 slips of paper in hand. "Washu?" asked Ryoko,"What are
those slips of paper for?"
        "I thought you would never ask! These are tickets to the Lamp Basket
concert, in Tokyo. Tonight we are all going to rock out with the best
metal band in the world!"
        "Aren't they a little too loud?" asked Tenchi.
        "No way, Tenchi! They are the best band out there!" Quickly, Washu
went around the living room and handed Sasami, Ryoko, Tenchi, and Aeka
tickets. "Now, Come on! We can't be late!"

        They finally reached the large Mya Amphitheater, in Tokyo. They
rushed
to their seats and sat down. "Hey, Washu. Since when have you liked
such loud music?" asked Aeka.
        "Ohh, I don't know for awhile. Why do you ask?"
        "I don't know. I just find it really strange. That's all." After
about
ten minutes of waiting, a big fat dude walked out onto the stage and
picked up a mike. "Excuse me, Folks. I have some bad news. Lamp
Basket's plane has been delayed, so they won't make it for the show.
However, we have some back up entertainment. Ladies and gentlemen,
let's hear it for N'SUCK!"
        "What?" shouted the startled Washu.
        "Washu?" asked Ryoko, "Who is N'SUCK?" It was too late. Washu had
become catatonic as soon as she heard the name of one of the worst pop
groups ever too touch a microphone. Tenchi looked over at Aeka and
inquired, "Do you know who N'SUCK is?"
        "No, Lord Tenchi, I have never heard of the group."
        "They sound horrible to me already," replied Sasami.
        "Well," said Tenchi, "We might as well give them a chance." After a
short couple minute delay, five young men took the stage and pulled
microphones out of their pockets. In the background, music began to
play and the boys opened their mouths. "IT'S ALL I EVER WANTED..."
        "Holy shit! These guys really do suck!" said Sasami.
        "Watch your language, young lady," replied Aeka.
        "She's got a point," said Ryoko.

        An hour past, forcing the Tokyo punk rockers and metal lovers to
brace
themselves for the awaited insanity. The crappy lyrics and repetitive
chest flashing had turned Tenchi into a complete vegetable. If there is
a hell, he thought, please God, take me there now! Suddenly, a faint
noise of song could be heard from backstage of the amphitheater. Washu
jumped up in her seat. "It's them!"
        Suddenly, five guys jumped out onto the stage. "It's Lamp Basket!"
voices from the crowd shouted. One of them pulled a microphone and
said, "I'm Fred Dust and we are Lamp Basket! Hey! What's this trash
doing on stage?"
        "Listen, Buddy! We were here first. Unless, you wanna fight!" said
one
of the N'SUCKERS.
        "Let's rumble!"

        After five minutes, N'SUCK was taken to the Tokyo Emergency Ward and
committed for five months of recovery. However, they were so badly
bruised that no amount of extra plastic surgery could make them look
cute again. Instantly, they were shunned from public and sent to live
with street hobos somewhere in Southern California.
        Fred Dust and Lamp Basket went on to greater things. They took out
all
the other boy bands in a series of five-minute brawls. None were ever
subject to serious injuries, (They couldn't help it if the boy bands
were total pussies), but one time West Roland went deaf for two hours
because Knack Curter tried to sing a high E and cracked his voice in
West's ear. After the brawls they made a CD called, "Kick Ass", and it
went double platinum.
        Tenchi married Ryoko directly after the concert. He did this,
because
by watching N'SUCK an instant fear made him worry that he might end up
with no love and also become a freak that sold CDs by stripping all of
his clothes off. Ryoko accepted.
        Aeka and Sasami went home to Jurai, because of the lewdness of the
shaven chests. They married princes, became rich, and never returned,
(making Ryoko very happy that Tenchi was finally to herself).
        Washu spent seven years in a coma, do to near complete emotional
damage. Then, she came back and produced Lamp Basket's "Kick Ass" CDs.
She also started a record company, signed Lamp Basket, and then sat
back. She became a millionaire and married a no name punk rocker. ENDZ



        Parodies used:
N'SUCK  Lame pop group actually named N'SYNC
Lamp Basket     Kick ass band named Limp Bizkit
Fred Dust       Lead Singer of Limp Bizkit, named Fred Durst
West Roland     Lead Guitarist of Limp Bizkit, named Wes Borland
Knack Curter    Wuss Vocalist for the BackStreet Boys, named Nick Carter

All parodies are based on real people, but meant for humor and not
self-endorsement or lame profit scheme.

My first, "Crossover" fic and I enjoyed the hell out of it. I hate no
talent hacks that go on TV because they kiss ass and look cute. I know
someone will probley MST this, because they love these guys, but I
clearly don't give a damn if they do. As usual, any questions or
comments to theunknowndjendz@yahoo.com. Thank you