Here's the Deal, the Global Edition, Bent's story. Read after Chap. 6. (Massively over-authored, SI'd to New Jersey and back, Omni-Mega-crossover) Note: This version of Here's the Deal bears no connection to the past Here's the Deals. Of which there has been two. Well, characters stay pretty much the same. Written by: (in order of appearance) Kagato, X, Alanna, Bent Oben, Kaiouken, A.C, Nadia, Hiakureiky(Neosaim), Babobo2, Tonnica Sister no.1, Rubian, and Animal. Note: This is also a list of avatars....hmmmm. Disclaimer from New Jersey: A-Team, Bill Cosby, Castlevania, Crono Cross, Crono Trigger, Darkstalkers, Dragon Ball Z, Final Fantasy 1-9, Gundam Wing, Last Blade 2, Majora's Mask, Nadesico, Ogre Battle 64, Slayers, Suikoden, Tenchi Muyo!, and XenoGears are not owned by us. We make no claim on them. They are owned by their respective makers. (AIC, Funimation, Squaresoft, Bill Cosby, so on, so forth) The purpose of this fic is entertainment. We are not making any money on this, and I would not be horribly surprised of some of us have lost money on this. Original characters are owned by their respective authors. This includes Kagato, as he only shares his name with the Tenchi Kagato. The situations depicted in this are copyright us, and are easily identifiable. Any similarity to other works is purely coincidental, and references to other works are most likely purposeful. Any similarity to a real person or event is coincidental, and highly odd. MSTing is encouraged(Yeah, right), with the proviso that you send the MSTed work to at least one of the authors prior to posting. People that we borrowed stuff from, it was done out of love and respect, and the desire to see more of it. Please don't sue. [] Someone's actions, or thoughts. {} Director's marks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---In Dalmuhd Desert--- Prochon: Why!? Do you wish to fight me? You’re not with the Rebels... Bent: That's right I'm here with this damn-hot witch and two high knights. Prochon: I wish only to make a name for us Ninjas, we have lived in the shadows for so long. King Gran ignored us; Rashidi has given us a chance to prove ourselves. Bent: Um, that's great....Deneb if you would please... *Deneb pulls a Persuasion Spell out and uses it on Prochon* Prochon: Ahhhggg... That won't work on me.. Fogel: If I were you I would hope it did. Bent: Oh, so it's not going to work eh...I give you to the count of tres for it to work before I Sonic Slash your ass back to Sharom. Slust: One. Deneb: *jumping up and down clapping* Two!!! Prochon: tres!!!!... Wait I mean, what is your bidding master. Bent: That's better, organize your troops. We will soon move onward to Fort Shulaman. Slust: Damn, could Bent really of Sonic Slashed his ass? Deneb: ...Oh believe me, he's properly endowed.. Slust: Emm.. Fogel: I pray, that lord Oben didn't mean it in that manner. Deneb: Oh, poo... ---Fort Shulman--- General Previa: ARRRGGG!!!! How could I lose to such a little boy!!?? Deneb: Oh.....he's not all "little" *wink* Slust & Fogel: It's your end now Previa, attack!!! IAINUKI!!!! General Previa: Aggghhh.... Bent: Well done. Now on to Temple Shalina to stop that evil mage Rashidi from raising Diablo. Prochon, stay here and guard Shulman. Prochon: Of course. ---At Temple Shalina--- Bent: Ok we made it, what's our status? Deneb: Our Reputation is high, we have all 12 Zodiac stones, and all 3 mystic treasures. Bent: Great. After this is all over that should sell for a bundle. Slust: All of the local cities have been liberated and are garrisoned. Deneb: I wonder where the others are? Bent: Oh shit that’s right. I doubt they have even left yet... And we can't attack until they get here. Fogel: Why not!? Bent: Umm...Umm...because we can keep collecting tribute until we liberate the castle. Deneb: That's right, they will keep paying us forever. Slust: True, but our reputation will drop... Bent: Shut-up... Bent reaches into his pocket and pulls out a trade ticket. Anywhere Jack appears. Bent: I'll take some Stat. Potions, 99 of each type, please. Jack: You have the money? Fogel: *Glare* If not we can all pretend he does... Jack: Um... O.K. I’ll... Give it to you on Credit... [party gains items] Jack leaves. Bent: Ok, Deneb I want you to hand these potions out to our troops. Deneb: Okay-dokay... ---Meanwhile at where ever Kagato is--- Messenger: Master KAGATO Kagato: BAKA, I mean WHAT? Messenger: The Empire has been alerted to our plans and have mobilized. Kagato: What! How!? Messenger: Bent, Master Bent has already invaded the Empire. Kagato: Blast, he ruining everything. Has he made any progress? Messenger: We can’t tell Sir, He may have made it through, but with the Empire’s army now alerted we have no way of reaching him. An invasion will now be that much harder. Kagato: Dammit Bent, why couldn’t you of just stared at that Morrigan dojinshi like a good kid? ---At Temple Shalina--- Bent: Ok, I'm getting board now. To hell with the others lets just go kill Rashidi. Fogel: About time! Slust: His harem will be mine!! Deneb: That's right. Bent go show him how big you are. Bent: CHARGE!!! Bent and all his troops make a mad dash for Rashidi’s Castle. "Smack" Bent: Ow, my freaking nose, what was that? Deneb: (whose breasts are being flattened against some un-seeable force in front of her) I don't know? Slust: NO! Fogel: I can't be!! Bent: What, what, what happened? Fogel and Slust break down and start to cry. Bent: By God!! Get a hold of yourselves, your freaking High Knights!! Slust: It's happened again... Fogel: [Who is bashing his head against the invisible wall] No!! not again! Bent: What!? Slust: We have been sealed... again... Fogel: [Still bashing head] We must have angered the gods... again... Deneb: We can just find the Chaos Gate honey.. Bent: No, it has to be opened from the outside, and they will need that holy sword Brunhild. Deneb: Poo.. Bent: DAMMIT!! Bent goes ballistic against the invisible wall. SLASH!!! SLICE!!! SMASH!!! CHOP!!!! PUCNH!!! IAINUKI!!! SONIC SLASH!!! Bright flashes are seen, then an incredibly bright flash is seen. Screams of death and destruction are heard all around. Bent: [panting] What now!? Slust: [alarmed] All of our troops have been slain. Fogel: [crying] MOMMY!!! Deneb: Somethings happening!!! The dead corpses of the fallen troops seem to reanimate. Bent and his party are suddenly surrounded by hundreds of powerful undead!! Bent: [screams like a girl] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! And they have maxed out stats too... Slust: We must use holy attacks. Fogel: [Is laying on the ground sucking his thumb] Mommy. Deneb: I have no white magic, nor does Bent. Bent: Yeah, ever since that night I had hot-demonic sex with Deneb I couldn't use holy magic anymore. Slust: That's it I'm outta here! Come on Fogel we’re leaving. Bent: That's what you think.. [Bent rams the hilt of his sword into Slust's head.] "Thump" Slust falls to the groud and starts to foam at the mouth. Bent: Deneb back to the castle. We can lock ourselves in and pray for salvation. Deneb: We can fool around too right? Bent: Sure, but now run!! Bent picks up the unconscious Slust and the babbling Fogel and hauls ass back to the main castle. ---At castle--- Bent: [panting] We made it. Deneb: Yeah, I'm all hot and sweaty-nasty, SEE? Deneb makes it possible to see how hot and sweaty she really is. Bent: mmm... Slust, who is still foaming at the mouth, suddenly goes into a seizure. Fogel: [Rushes over to Slust] Mommy, Don't die Mommy... Bent: That bothers me... Bent picks up a handy looking wooden club and attends to beating Fogel and Slust until they are silent. Deneb: mmm.. You handle that wood so well. Bent: [drops club, grabs Deneb] You know we could be killed at anytime... Deneb: Yes... soon Bent: We could forever be separated from human-pleasure. Deneb: Yes, I know Bent: So... what do you suggest we do? Deneb thrusts Bent down onto a bed. Deneb: Enjoy life to the last drop. High pitched male screams are heard for some time.