Title: The hitchhiker's guide to Okayama
By: SarahMc - catwoman@merseymail.com
Summary: The Masaki family receive an unexpected visit courtesy of the infinite 
improbability drive.
Continuities: Tenchi: OAV
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the 'Tenchi Muyo' characters. They are the 
property of the nice chaps at AIC and Pioneer. As for the 'Hitchhiker's Guide to 
the Galaxy' characters. well I suppose they're the property of Douglas Adams 
surviving relations.
Thanks: many thanks to the very hoopy Blaque Talon and Firebird. Without their 
support, I wouldn't have realised that people would even understand this. Their 
support is highly valued ^_^
***

The following document is fanfiction. 

The Encyclopaedia Galactica defines fanfiction as "fiction written by fans of a 
certain 5D TV series, novel, video game or life threatening disease." 

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines fanfiction as "stupid". In fact 
this is not strictly true and since this document was published, updates have 
changed the definition to "mostly stupid". 

This particular fanfiction was written for several reasons: 

A. To explore a balance between the worlds of Tenchi Muyo and The Hitchhiker's 
Guide to the Galaxy. 

B. To prove (or rather, attempt to prove) that it can be done. 

And C. It seemed like rather a good idea at the time. 

And so, without further ado we bring you The Hitchhiker's Guide To Okayama! 
(Insert twangy banjo music here.) 
***

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the universe lies a small blue- green 
planet. This planet is home to many ape descended beings and was once home to 
the Earthman Arthur Dent. 

Arthur Dent, the thoroughly insignificant organic life form, is currently 
travelling the universe aboard the Starship Heart Of Gold with ex- galactic 
president Zaphod Beeblebrox, Tricia Macmillan (or Trillian) and a field 
researcher for the hitchhiker's guide, Ford Prefect. 

Right now, nothing much is happening. This is because, despite Zaphod's promise 
of excitement, adventure and really wild things, it is a Sunday afternoon. 
Sunday afternoons are universally acknowledged as the most boring time ever 
created. Nothing ever happens on Sunday afternoons. This can drive men, women 
and all other evolved beings to do highly irrational things. Your chronicler, 
for example, has made the rather irrational decision to write a story crossing 
two almost completely unrelated fandoms for no particular reason. 

Zaphod Beeblebrox, not the most rational character at the best of times, was 
being particularly affected by this Sunday afternoon. Eventually a somewhat 
nervous Ford Prefect approached him. 

"Erm, Zaphod." 

"What?" 

"I was just wondering if." 

"If what?" 

"Well I was just wondering if there was any chance of you, erm, coming down?" 

"Why?" 

"Well your behaviour is rather, ahem, disturbing." 

"Why's it so disturbing?" 

"Zaphod, you're hanging upside down from the roof." 

"So what? It's cool, bats do it all the time!" 

Ford rolled his eyes and wandered off to see what Arthur was up to. 

Arthur Dent was going slowly mad. It was almost certainly a result of it being 
Sunday afternoon. As Ford Prefect entered the room, Arthur spun round and turned 
on him. 

"Where's the bloody tea?" he practically screamed making Ford leap out of his 
skin. 

Arthur calmed down. "I'm sorry" he sighed, rubbing his temples, "but I asked the 
computer who told me to consult the toaster who thought the ventilation system 
might know but as it turned out it didn't so I asked the vacuum cleaner but it 
it's sulking because of a nasty incident with the hairdryer so I couldn't get 
much out of it." Arthur paused for breath. "So where" he asked, as calmly and 
evenly as it was possible for him to ask the question, "can I get some tea?" 

Ford stared at him incredulously, "well you know where you can get some tea. The 
drinks dispenser." 

Arthur snorted, "that thing? The nutrimatic drinks dispenser doesn't give out 
tea, it gives out poison! That machine is an insult to my taste buds." 

Ford nodded calmly, "don't panic," he said, "there's a solution to your 
problem." 

"And that is?" 

"To go without tea." Ford fixed Arthur Dent with a smile capable of unhinging 
any sane man and wandered off in search of Trillian. 

Trillian was in the shower. She didn't want to see Ford Prefect and she told him 
so. 

She told him so very calmly and very sensibly in between screams of "what on 
Earth are you doing in here?" and "I'm in the shower you idiot!" 

Clearly the Sunday afternoon was affecting her too. 

Ford shrugged and slumped onto a seat pulling out his copy of the hitchhiker's 
guide to the galaxy. 

The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy has much to say on the subject of Sunday 
afternoons. 

"Avoid them" it says, "avoid them at all costs. If you have a time machine, fast 
forward past them, if you're one of the fortunate creatures from Omnicron 8 then 
use your sensor beams to block their harmful effects, if you can't avoid them 
then sleep through them. High exposure to Sunday afternoons can bring on 
temporary insanity triggering anger, irritation or general weirdness in most 
beings. This is commonly known as Sunday Afternoon Syndrome or SAS. 

Whatever you do, keep yourself occupied on a Sunday afternoon or boy will you 
regret it." 

Ford shrugged. He hadn't had any trouble. He really ought to revise that 
passage. He chuckled to himself. 

"What're you laughing at?" Zaphod had wandered in, a towel draped over one of 
his heads for no particular reason. 

"Oh hi Zaphod. You know, according to the book Sunday afternoons can drive you 
mad." 

Zaphod shrugged, "it's your book." 

Ford nodded, "yeah, I suppose so." 

"Ford?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Why aren't you wearing any clothes?" 

Ford looked down, looked up again, thought for a moment then smiled. "You know 
what" he said, "I think the book might be right about Sunday afternoons." 
***

Arthur was busy giving the electronic can-o-matic a piece of his mind when Ford, 
in a fit of spontaneity and desperation for some action, put the ship into 
improbability drive and landed them in a forest close by a small house in 
Okayama, Japan. 
***

It was a typical day at the Masaki household. 

However, it wasn't what most fanfiction authors would describe as a typical day 
at the Masaki household. 

This is because, as Zentulos Scatar's Film Guide (foreign animation section) to 
puts it, "a typical day at the Masaki household does not really consist of 
everyone fighting. It just looks that way on the cartoon." How Zentulos Scatar 
knows this is, of course, anyone's guess. 

The point is that this was a typical day at the Masaki house. Which means that 
everyone was sitting around doing nothing. 

Actually, only Ayeka, Mihoshi and Ryoko were sitting around doing nothing. Washu 
was working in her laboratory and Sasami had gone for a walk. Nobuyuki was at 
work and Tenchi was training with his grandfather in the forest. 

It was in the forest that the heart of gold landed. 

Tenchi looked up from his training in time to see a large futuristic Starship 
landing in front of him. His lips parted in shock and, under the roar of the 
ships engines he mouthed 'oh no, not again.' 
***

On board the heart of gold all was confusion. 

Trillian, pulling on a dressing gown hurried onto the bridge where Arthur was 
watching Zaphod scream at Ford. 

"You stupid idiot! What the photon did you do that for?" 

Ford shrugged, "boredom mostly. Got a towel?" 

Zaphod handed him the large towel that he'd been wearing on his head. "You're a 
complete idiot, man, you know that? Computer." 

"Hi there" Eddie chirruped, "what can I do for you, guys?" 

"Computer, tell us where we are." 

"Hmm" Eddie thought for a minute, "we seem to be on Okayama." 

"Okayama?" scoffed Arthur, "where on Earth is Okayama?" 

"Now computing" Eddie paused then blipped a few times, "Japan." 

"Japan?" 

"Where on Earth Okayama is, answer: Japan." 

Arthur blinked a few times. 

Zaphod grinned, "hey, monkey, don't you get it?" 

"Get what?" Arthur had never gotten used to the fact that almost every alien 
called him a 'monkey'. He knew that being an ape descended life form it was only 
to be expected but still found it hideously annoying. 

"This is your planet, man. Ever been to this Japan place?" 

"Well, no actually." 

"Then consider it a vacation. Computer, open the doors. Marvin, pick up that 
piece of paper... yeah, and stop grumbling about it... Monkeyman, get over here. 
Ford-" 

Zaphod stopped, looking at Ford, "for Zark's sake, put some clothes on, man." 
***

The doors opened with the sort of hiss Tenchi usually associated with busses 
rather than spaceships. 

The first to step out of the ship was Ford Prefect. He carried his satchel, wore 
his usual bizarre expression and had a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw 
Tenchi, standing with his eyes and mouth wide open, and raised a hand in 
greeting. This was a mistake and he immediately stooped to pick the towel back 
up. 

"Sorry about that" he muttered. 

Next came Zaphod Beeblebrox. Tenchi, having survived seeing a little too much of 
Ford Prefect and being quite used to aliens simply gave the two-headed, three-
armed ex-galactic president a friendly smile. 

Finally Trillian and Arthur, both clad in dressing gowns (though hers was 
significantly cleaner) stepped off the ship. Arthur, remembering his first 
experience with spaceships expected a little more than Tenchi's "hi, how are 
you?" 

Trillian smile, "I'm fine. My name's Tricia but you can call me Trillian, this 
is Arthur, Zaphod and Ford." 

Tenchi nodded blankly. Katsuhito, who spoke English, raised an eyebrow, "I 
suppose you'll want somewhere to stay?" 

Ford beamed, "yeah, sure!" 

Katsuhito rolled his eyes. He'd hoped they'd be polite about his offer and turn 
him down. He cursed his natural hospitality. "Very good, I'll take you to our 
house". With some difficulty, he managed to smile pleasantly at his unexpected 
guests. 
*** 

As they began the walk back to the Masaki home, Arthur looked about him. It 
didn't seem to be affecting Trillian much but he was back on Earth at last! 
Home! 

Well strictly speaking, home was on the other side of the world but he thought 
he could overlook that small fact. Japan was the closest he'd been to home in a 
long time. 

Zaphod looked around as he walked, "what a dump" he muttered, "hey Ford?" 

"Hmm?" 

"How did you manage to survive here for fifteen years?" 

A short pause as Ford considered the question. 

"Well?" 

"Alcohol." 

"Oh." 

Trillian was walking with Katsuhito and Tenchi, "you know, I once knew a man 
like you," she was saying. 

"Really?" Katsuhito smiled pleasantly, "who was it?" 

"Oh, umm, Slartibartfast or something. I forget now. Come to think of it, he 
wasn't really anything like you." 

Katsuhito nodded solemnly, trying to hold back a scream. He wondered for a 
moment how people so obviously moronic could possibly have piloted a spacecraft 
but it didn't bear thinking about. 
*** 

This is what the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy has to say on the subject of 
translation in fanfiction: 

"Try not to dwell on it. If half of your characters are going to be speaking 
completely different languages, relax. After all, if you don't mention it then 
no one is all that likely to notice." 

It is in the spirit of following the books advice that your chronicler has 
decided to open a large plot hole and inform her readers that all her characters 
are going to be speaking the same language. This language will be English since 
it is Arthur Dent's (and, coincidentally, the chronicler's) first language. 
*** 

It was Ayeka who first met the visitors. 

The Juraian princess wandered into the kitchen and discovered them all sitting 
around the table. Ayeka smiled politely, walked quietly over to Tenchi, smiled 
politely again and asked, "lord Tenchi, may I have a word?" 

They stepped outside. "Lord Tenchi, I can't help but notice we have some 
visitors." 

Tenchi nodded, "yeah. Grandpa invited them." 

"Invited who?" Ryoko sidled up to Tenchi. 

"The visitors, haven't you seen them?" 

Ryoko shook her head and phased through the wall. "Hi I'm Ryoko" she grinned, 
"who're you?" 

For the second time, Trillian introduced the group. 

Zaphod looked at Ryoko, raising an eyebrow in a manner he hoped was seductive, 
"I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox." 

Ryoko nodded, "yeah, your friend mentioned it." 

"Well" Zaphod raised his other eyebrow, "I was president of the galaxy, you 
know?" 

"Oh, that's nice." 

Zaphod paused. He raised an eyebrow on his other head, "it wasn't much. I mean, 
for an amazingly great guy like me, I could've done much more but I thought I 
needed to do something useful." 

"Hmm?" Ryoko nodded absent-mindedly. 

Arthur leaned over to Trillian, "Tricia, Zaphod's flirting with that girl!" 

Trillian nodded, "yeah he is isn't he?" She chuckled under her breath. 

"Well aren't you going to DO anything?" 

She shrugged, "look at him, Arthur, I don't need to do anything!" 

Sure enough, Zaphod's attempts at flirting weren't getting very far. "You know," 
he was saying, one of his three arms resting on Ryoko's shoulder, "you make 
Eccentrica Galumbits look like nothing!" 

Ryoko nodded and quickly phased out of the room and found her self face to face 
with a rather amused Juraian. 

"What?" Growled Ryoko, "what're you laughing at?" 

A somewhat less than regal Princess Ayeka paused for breath, supporting herself 
on Tenchi's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Ryoko, but surely you can see the irony in 
this?" 

Ryoko shook her head blankly, "irony? Sometimes I just don't understand you 
Ayeka." 
*** 

Nobuyuki arrived home after a long day at work. 

The house could reasonably be defined as chaotic. 

He didn't really want to deal with anything like that at the time. What he 
wanted was a bath. 

Yes, a nice long bath. He smiled a little at the thought of the hot water, 
letting the bubbles wash over him and the steam blur his vision. Nobuyuki looked 
forward to his daily bath the way most people look forward to their meals. In 
his house it was one of the few chances to relax. 

Slowly, meticulously, he changed in to a dressing gown. 

He opened the door to the bathroom and turned on the hot water tap. When the 
water had heated he put the plug in. He then twisted the cold water tap so that 
there was about half as much cold water as hot running into the bath. He put 1/5 
of a small bottle of bubble bath under the tap and left the bath to run. 

He padded towards the airing cupboard in search of a towel. He was already 
thinking of his bath, looking forward to soaking in the warm water, finally 
becoming clean and then drying off with a soft, fluffy towel. He smiled. This 
was all part of his daily routine. 

Opened the airing cupboard to discover havoc. 

Ford Prefect stood in the centre of a mountain of towels. 

Nobuyuki's eyes boggled. "You! You- you- " he stammered. He was unable to 
express his horror, rage and bewilderment. 

Ford smiled calmly, "anything wrong? I was just checking out your towels." 

He stood up, shoved the towels out of his way and started to leave. Halfway down 
the stairs he stopped. 

"Oh" he added, "nice bathrobe." 

He wandered off leaving Nobuyuki silently fuming and the bathwater running onto 
the floor. 
*** 

Arthur Dent was slumped on the sofa next to Sasami. 

"Hey, Arthur, what's wrong?" she smiled. It was the first time someone had asked 
him that in a long time. 

"Oh nothing. It's just that I was hoping that once I was back on Earth I might 
be able to have some tea." 

Sasami brightened, "oh we have tea!" 

"Really?" 

Sasami nodded, "I'll get some." 

Arthur smiled graciously. He could feel the anticipation mounting inside him. He 
smiled foolishly. After all these years - tea! 

Ford came downstairs, "hello Arthur. You're looking pretty foolish." 

Most people would have said 'you're looking pretty happy' but Ford Prefect was 
not most people. 

"I'm going to have some tea! At last!" 

"Oh yes, you're very fond of tea, aren't you?" 

Arthur's enthusiastic nod was answer enough. 

Sasami returned a few minutes later with the bottle. She handed it to Arthur who 
took it reverently. He poured some into the mug Sasami had provided and, despite 
a small voice inside him asking if this was how he remembered tea, he took a 
large gulp. 

For just a split second, a look of pure ecstasy crossed his face. This was 
followed by one of surprise, confusion and then disgust. The various emotions 
scrambled for a position on Arthur's face until he settled for confusion. 

After a long pause, he addressed Sasami. 

"This" he said, "is not tea. I don't know what it is but it is most definitely 
not tea." 

Ford picked up the cup and sniffed it. 

"He's right," Ford confirmed, "this is Sake". 
*** 

The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy has much to say on the subject of 
censorship. However, we won't go into that. 

Suffice it to say that when censoring, it recommends that you do not change the 
name to something with a completely different meaning and points to the case in 
which videos starring Eccentrica Galumbits, having been renamed by censors but 
not otherwise censored in any real way, were marketed as 'Teletubbies' videos. 
*** 

Zaphod burst in on Ford as he was reading the newspaper. 

"Hey, kid, you'll never guess who I just saw!" 

Ford looked up, "oh? Who did you see?" 

"Only the most amazing person I can think of right now! Only the froodiest 
person in the galaxy- apart from me, that is." 

"And who is it, Zaphod?" 

"Washu!" 

"Washu?" 

"You don't know who Washu is?" 

"I have" remarked Ford, "no idea who this Washu person is. Please enlighten me." 

"Okay" Zaphod's enthusiasm was not about to be diminished by the fact that his 
companion had no idea what he was talking about, "Washu is the number one 
scientific genius and, get this, she recognised me!" 

"That's nice, Zaphod" Ford nodded. 

"Nice? Nice doesn't begin to describe it, baby. This is amazing! This is the 
most amazingly amazing thing since. since. hey, Ford, tell me something 
amazing." 

"Well, I thought-" 

"That's great! This is the most amazingly amazing thing since whatever it was 
you just said." He grinned again, "Did I mention that she recognised me? I mean, 
I'm a pretty hoopy guy and all but I didn't expect her to recognise me!" 

"Yes, you mentioned that, Zaphod." 

"Yeah, I said, 'hey, Washu, I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox' and she said, 'what? The 
egotistic jerk who hijacked his own spaceship and never shuts up?' and I said 
'yeah!' and she said 'get out of my lab!' Cool eh? Washu told me to get out of 
her lab! This is incredible!" 

"Erm, Zaphod?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Do you know where Arthur is?" 

"Him? Nah. Probably up a tree somewhere." 

"I think you should get him." 

"Why's that?" 

Ford raised an enigmatic eyebrow. Despite Zaphod's immediate instinct to tell 
him off for being unnecessarily enigmatic, he nodded and moved over to the door. 

"Hey! Arthur! Get over here!" 
*** 

Sasami's innocent smile drifted across the table to her stunned family. 

"What did you just say?" Mihoshi's voice was filled with both horror and 
disgust. 

"I said that it's not called tea, it's called Sake." 

Tenchi's eyes flitted towards Ayeka. The princess was slowly turning a deep 
shade of crimson. 

Ryoko chuckled and leaned over to Tenchi "ooh, Sasami said the 's' word" she 
purred, "someone's in trouble now." 

Tenchi nodded absently. 

"Sasami," Ayeka said slowly, "we do not say that. It is not called sake, it is 
called tea." 

Sasami blinked, "but why can't we call it Sake?" 

"Shh! There could be children watching!" 

"But Mr Prefect said it was called Sake." 

Ayeka nodded slowly, "he did, did he?" 
*** 

Arthur gaped at the newspaper, "what? No! There must be some mistake!" 

"Yes!" Ford prefect insisted, "There's no mistake." 

Arthur's face crumpled into a look of disappointment. "But. but that's not 
fair." 

"Life isn't fair" Ford shrugged, "deal with it. Now let's get to the ship." 

Arthur sighed. He couldn't believe it. Perhaps god was laughing at him. Perhaps 
there was no god and the aliens were laughing at him. 

The second one seemed rather unlikely. Aliens tended to laugh at him a lot 
anyway but this sot of thing was a rare occurrence. He starred at the date on 
the paper as if willing it to change. 

Since this was Earth and not Zantital Beta, where the dates change often and 
randomly, the date on the paper remained the same. The Earth, he realised, would 
be demolished the next day. 

Arthur looked up, "well I don't care. I'm staying." 

Ford blinked, "you can't stay! You'll be killed." 

Arthur nodded, "but at least I'll die on my home planet." 

There was a long pause. Aeons passed. 

"Are you sure?" Ford asked. 

Arthur nodded, "I'm sure they won't mind. Not for one day." 
*** 

"Get rid of them" Nobuyuki glared at his son, a vein throbbing dangerously in 
his forehead. "I can deal with most of your visitors but not this. Get rid of 
them." 

Tenchi nodded slowly, "I suppose they are kind of annoying." 

>From inside the other room, he heard Trillian's hairdryer telling her just how 
wonderful she was in mind bogglingly irritating detail. Right now it was 
describing her right eyebrow. Tenchi groaned. 

"Okay, I suppose I ought to ask them to leave." 
*** 

Tenchi needed moral support. He wasn't used to turning people away. 

Tenchi's solution was to call the family together. 

"I thought" he smiled brightly, "we should have a family discussion." 

Mihoshi blinked, "but Tenchi, we never have family discussions!" 

"I thought" Tenchi sweatdropped, "we should learn more about each other. Why 
don't you go first, Dad?" 

Nobuyuki stood up, "well, perhaps I should tell you about my pet hates. I hate 
it when people leave their electronic junk around the house" he picked up a 
small electronic sensor from Trillian's laptop and shook it threateningly, "at 
least Washu keeps her stuff in the lab. I also hate it when I find than 
someone's been leaving marks on the sofa" he starred pointedly at Zaphod. 

"Hey!" protested the former president, "that could've been anyone!" 

"You left two head imprints! Who else here has two heads?" Nobuyuki sighed and 
continued, "I hate it when people mess up my towel collection but I hate it even 
more when they ruin my bath. Okay, I'm done." 

Ryoko stood up, "I'm sick of that stupid Zaphod flirting with me. Surely you've 
noticed my special bond with Tenchi?" 

"Hey, baby, I am TWENTY times the guy Tenchi is." 

She shrugged, "that doesn't bother me as much as the fact that your friend keeps 
ogling me when he thinks I'm not looking." 

Ford smiled innocently, "I was just admiring your posture." 

Ryoko rolled her eyes and sat down, Washu stood up, "If one of you guys walk in 
on any more of my experiments there'll be serious trouble," the scientist's eyes 
flashed, "especially if you break anything else. I'm talking to you, Ms. 
Macmillan." 

"That was an accident!" 

"Yeah, sure, well just remember that I'M the number one scientist around here. 
Stop trying to improve my inventions!" 

"It was a good idea and you know it!" 

Washu glared at Trillian and sat down. Now it was Ayeka's turn. 

She stood up quietly, demurely, with the dignity and grace expected of a 
princess of Jurai. The last thing she wanted to do was fly off the handle. 
Slowly, calmly, she began, "I only have one problem with our visitors" she took 
a deep breath and glanced at Ford Prefect, "they CORRUPTED Sasami! She is a 
princess of my planet and they corrupted her!" Ayeka's voice rose to a shriek 
and she stopped, took another deep breath and looked over at Sasami. 

"They didn't corrupt me" the little princess beamed, "they (CENSORED) me up!" 

Ayeka looked dangerously angry and Ford stepped in. 

"Look, it's alright" he smiled in that unsettling way he had, "it's simple. 
We're all going to leave." 

There was a pause as this sunk in. Slowly, an overwhelming wave of utter joy 
stretched over the extended members of the Masaki household. They breathed a 
collective sigh of relief. 

"Except" said Ford, "Arthur." 

Arthur smiled helpfully. There hadn't been any complaints about him, he should 
be fine. 

Ryoko looked up, her eyes wide and horrified, "no" she gasped, "not him!" 

Ayeka nodded, moving towards the Demon to reinforce her statement, "no" she said 
urgently. 

The other family members were shaking their heads in what seemed to be a form of 
terror. 

"No way" whispered Tenchi, "definitely not Arthur. We can deal with the mess, 
the ogling, the corruption - anything except Arthur." 

Trillian seemed surprised, "but Arthur hasn't done anything wrong! How could you 
possibly dislike Arthur?" 

Washu shook her head, "he doesn't fit in." 

"He's far too dull" Mihoshi agreed, "he just sits around looking confused and 
asking about tea." 

Trillian shook her head in confusion, "but that's what we all love about 
Arthur." 

There was a long pause before Nobuyuki spoke up, "get off our property, please." 
*** 

"You know" Arthur said as he sat on the bridge of the Heart Of Gold, "I can't 
help but feel a little rejected." 

Ford shrugged, "I don't know why you're so upset. Some people love you, some 
people hate you. Surely by now you're used to being insulted." 

"Yes, but I thought that maybe if I was on Earth, my home planet, things'd be 
different." 

Ford shrugged again, "you win some, you lose some." 
*** 

"Well that's certainly a relief" Tenchi stretched out on his seat at the table. 

Mihoshi nodded, "yeah, I thought they'd never leave. I have a feeling I should 
have recognised that Zaphod guy." 

"What confuses me is why they left so suddenly" Katsuhito said. 

And, on that thought, the Earth was destroyed. 
*** 

There are many theories on why the Earth continues to be destroyed. 

Some say the Earth should never have been created in the first place. 

Some say it's to balance out the space/time continuum. 

However, most agree that it happens to annoy Arthur Dent, a theory which he 
almost certainly subscribes to. 
*** 

Epilogue: 

The Masaki family were not destroyed with the Earth. 

Washu, sensing the incredible danger, had the entire house transported to a 
passing Starship and it is currently on the way to the planet Jurai. 

Marvin the paranoid android is currently seeking a better agent since he was 
only mentioned once in this fanfiction. 

Zaphod Beeblebrox is currently regretting the fact that he didn't introduce 
Ryoko to the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. 

Arthur Dent continues his quest to understand life, the universe and everything 
and get a decent cup of tea. 

And this is where the chronicler leaves them and thanks you for reading.