Omni-Mega-crossover/massively overauthored/SI'd to hell and back again. Here's The Deal, the sequel, Chapter 2 Disclaimer: There is a lot of crap in here, and none of the authors own any of it except for their original characters. We aren't making any money from this, either. MSTing of this semi-fic...is encouraged...because I, for one, would love to see it. Authors in no particular order: Kaiouken, Nadia, Zero, X, Kagato, A.C., Neosaim, Bent Oben, Tonnica sister #1, Hunter, Alanna, babobo2, Flavius, Magnakai, Bagmus, Magus_akaJanus, and Animal * * * We start...with X: Narrator: The group decides to take a break, and Nobuyuki notices that X is writing something. Nobuyki: X, what are you doing? X: I'm sending a letter to Neo using a carrier pigeon. Nobuyuki: But why? X: He just opened up a Freelance Mercenary business and I want to get him to help us. Nobuyuki: That's a pretty good idea, but how did you find out about it? X: Easy. As we were walking along, I grabbed one of these flyers. Narrator: X hands Nobuyuki the flyer. Nobuyuki: Wow, this guy sounds like he really knows his stuff. But five slices of cheesecake? Is he worth it. X: You bet he is. Narrator: And so, X finishes his note and sends the bird off the find Neo. Back to Kaiouken, and the Mysterious Box: Kaiouken: Hmm. I doubt there's anyway I'm not strong right now. I'm physically strong..and I've got Nadia close by, so I've got a strong heart..and, well, we ALL know I'm mentally strong ( !!!!!). Kaiouken powers up and goes Super Saiyajin 3, then does a kaioken times 1000(craaaazy...) and tears on the lid of the box with one quick motion and the box... Nadia: That's Super Saiyajin 3! What power! Zero: But is it enough? Q-Bee: ...... Suddenly, the lock opens! But Kaiouken fell back and hit his head on a tree in the process and faints. When he finally wakes up there is no sign of Zero, Nadia or Q-Bee. He is sitting by the tree all alone with an empty box... A merchant passes by the tree. Merchant: Hi. My name is Animal. You wanna buy some of my garbage? Kaiouken: Uh, what? Animal: Uh, I mean stuff. Kaiouken: Ummm....no. Hey have you seen three people wander around here? A: Uh, no. K: Do you know what is in this box? A: Hey, I was looking for that. Somebody stole it from me. And took my stash of brownies I kept in there! Someone's gonna pay for their transgressions! Narrator: Kagato walks along, heading in the direction Q-Bee was last seen... Kagato: Damnit. If anything happened to Morrigan, I don't know what I'd do. Narrator: Suddenly, dozens of Albino Umpa Lumpas jump out from the bushes and surround Kagato. Kagato: Bothersome fools... [meanwhile, some time later] Kaiouken: Thanks again for your help. I needed some new clothes and a good weapon. Animal: No problem. Now remember, follow that star and you'll reach your destination. Kaiou: Hey, why don't you come along with us? Animal: Well, I have some business in another town, but our paths will cross again. I'm sure of it. Kaiou: Well, see ya later. Animal: Good luck to ya. Animal leaves for an unknown town. Kaiouken leaves in search of his party. Meanwhile.... NEOSAIM: Ouh..... Nobody's coming to me.... A carrier pigeon carrying a letter comes to Neosaim. NEOSAIM: Mhnh? A carrier pigeon!!! Lesseee.... The letter reads: "Neosaim: So, now you're a mercenary? Knowing your luck, I'm sure nobody's coming to hire you..." NEOSAIM: You betcha.... "So, instead of sitting there, why don't you help us? Signed, X" NEOSAIM: Umn.... "P.S. By the way, if you haven't noticed yet, we are hiring you" NEOSAIM: Oh! That's.... grrreat! But... how am I 'sposed to go where X and the others are?? [The carrier pigeon looks at Neosaim enigmatically] NEOSAIM: I know! I'll let this pigeon guide me! Ok, pigeon, guide to X! [Pigeon disappears] NEOSAIM: Damn! That bird disappeared! [a piece of paper falls from the letter] "Hold on to the pigeon, and it will teleport to our current position. DON'T tell the pigeon to guide you, unless you are holding on to it!!!" NEOSAIM: Perfect!, Now.. what to do... I know!!! [Neosaim gets out a Black Hole Element from his pocket] NEOSAIM: If I create an Ultra gravity field, and then make it go in circles, then I may change the space-time continua and teleport where X is!!! [Neosaim uses the Element] A black hole starts to appear! NEOSAIM: Ok! Now to the next step! [Neosaim runs in circles] NEOSAIM: Aaaaahhhh!!!! [Neosaim disappears!!!] A girl observes the complete scene... GIRL: Wow. I would pay 4 slices of cheesecake to see that again!!! Cut scene: Salamando: So this is the line? You know I am a member of the Mana Spirit Guild. I should be getting scale for this. ???? Director: Just read the lines pyro. Salamando: PYRO?!? [smiteburn] ???? Director: [smoulders] Ouch.. well go on. You're doing a command repeat performance as All Knowing Narrator. [coughs out smoke and falls over] Salamando: F~ine. As Tonnica flies towards Flavius' fortress one of the myriad of shots actually hits her. (Hey, can a main character actually get hit?!?) (???? Director: If it's a cutscene yes.) (O.o) The shot hits her sqaurely accross her back and she does a clumsy summersault in the air from the impact. Then... SPLAT. She hits an invisible barrier made of the Mana energy Flavius' fortress is still pulling from the ground. With a supreme lack of grace she slides down the invisible barrier broom (with little Zel dolly) still in hand, dazed and injured. Tonnica: Itai... @.@ Salamando: She finally slides off the barrier and plummets to the ground landing in a large forest lake. The lake surface calms after a few minutes pass... Then it's broken again as Tonnica thrashes to the surface and barely makes it to shore (looking like a very long haired drowned rat). Tonnica: Gee. Thanks for the commentary pyro. (COUGH COUGH COUGH) Salamando: [sarcastically] You're WELCOME dear. End cut scene Narrator: Kagato fights off the never ending stream of Umpa Lumpas, but it is becoming evident that he is beginning to tire. Kagato: Damn you! You cannot stop me! I must get to AC and find out how to save Morrigan! Narrator: Suddenly, a loud scream is heard and something lands on Kagato. Neosaim: Ouch, that hurts. What did I land on? Kagato: Me you fool! Now get off before the Umpa Lumpas capture both of us. Neosaim: Umpa Lumpas? Then that means Cosby is back! Kagato: Yes, you just can't keep a recurring villain from coming back from the dead. See? Narrator: Neosaim looks in the direction Kagato is pointing to see Rezo the Red Preist walk out of the woods. Neosaim: Wow. I guess when you're right, you're right. Rezo: Hello there. My name is Rezo the Red Preist. Can I be of any help to you? Kagato: Uh..... Neosaim: Sure! Welcome aboard! I'm Neosaim and that is Kagato. We're fighting against Bill Cosby. Do you like cheese? Rezo: Uh...... Narrator: Can Rezo be trusted? How did he come back from the dead this time? When will we find out what Cosby is up to? Find out next time! Kagato, Rezo, and Neosaim notice a man approaching. Man: Hi, I'm Animal the merchant. Anyone want some stuff? Kagato: Uh, no. Animal: How 'bout you, I know you want some stuff. Neosaim: ...............Huh? oh, uh, no. Animal: Oh, well, see ya later. [Animal leaves] Kagato: Now we have to kill these little pests off. Neosaim: Wait a minute. You mean I have to do something? Kagato: Yes, that's what I hired you for. Neosaim: Oh. Animal jumps over Kagato and viciously slaughters all the approaching enemies Animal: Hah! [leaves for town] Cut scene: Narrator:[Salamando] Tonnica stumbles out of the lake pulling weeds off her outfit and grumbling. She winces as she pats her ribs... Tonnica: Yep. Some of them are broken. I knew I should have taken diving lessons. Now... [Her ki flares, drying off her clothes and hair] Narrator:[Salamando] As Tonnica turns on her heel to walk up the nearest hill to survey her surroundings she pauses. The bushes across the lake from her are moving and rustling. A Nu jumps out of the bushes and runs off. She shrugs and keeps on walking until - THWAP she gets hit with something small and very fast. She gets knocked forward but gets back up. But her eyes are that creepy pupil-less way that suggests mind control. Wow. What a cheesy effect. Tonnica: Must do... Picture Pages... WITH BILL COSBY! Narrator Salmando: Has Tonnica become a goon of Cosby? What will happen with Flavius/Flavii? Is it going to end this quickly? The Magic 8 Ball says: 'Not bloody likely' next time on...The Darkness of Cosby! End cut scene Narrator: X and his group continue to wait for Neosaim. X: Hm...I wonder why Neo hasn't arrived yet? Narrator: Suddenly, the carrier pigeon appears in a puff of smoke. X: Oh man, he told the bird to take him to our location before he read the note saying that he has to hold on to it first. Yosho: Hm....what shall we do now? Bagmus: Well, I'm always up for a little table tennis. Nobuyuki: That's a great idea! I accept your challenge! X: I don't think we have time for this. Yosho: I play winner. X: Oh man...... Back to Kagato: Narrator: Kagato, Neosaim, and Rezo all stand there dumbfounded as Animal runs off toward town. Kagato: Wow, he beat all of them. Neosaim: I have never seen that technique before. Rezo: I'd hate to piss him off. Narrator: Suddenly, Kagato gets a strange look on his face and weird wavy lines surround his head. Kagato: My Spider Sense is tingling! I think something happened to Tonnica! Neosaim: Well, what can we do? Rezo: Who is Tonnica? Kagato: Nevermind that now. Neosaim, you must go find X! Rezo, you go search for Tonnica! I'm gonna keep following Q-Bee. Neosaim: Right! Rezo: But I don't know who she is! Narrator: And with that, the trio head off in opposite directions, each with a different goal in mind. Kaiouken: I'm not going to find out anything if I just stand around here...I think I'll go look for AC. This is probably his doing. Kaiouken powers up, runs a hundred yards, then blasts off. Kaiouken(thinking): Nadia...I can't sense your power! Where are you?! Suddenly Kaiouken does the sense-something-and-stop-on-a-dime thing. Kaiouken: Hey...that's Kagato..I think he's looking for AC also.. Kaiouken drops down several feet in front of Kagato, with that arms-folded pose he always has. Kagato: Hm? Kaiouken? Kaiouken: Seems we're both looking for the same person. Why don't we team up? It'll improve our odds. Kagato thinks for 26 seconds. Kagato: Alright, but you buy your own bag of oreos! [Kaiouken does the fall-over-when-somebody-says-something-stupid thing] Kagato adjusts his glasses in that cool Kagato way. Kagato: Well, now that I have said something completely OOC, let us be off. Kaiouken: OOC? What does that mean? Kagato: Out of character. Kaiouken: Ah...I see. Kinda like if I all of a sudden didn't act like a saiya-jin. Kagato: Precisely. Now, let's go find AC. Kaiouken: Right. It will be faster if we fly. Kagato: Yes, you're right. Narrator: They both power up in that cool Dragon Ball way, and then fly off into the distance. Back to X: Yosho, Bagmus, Nobuyuki & X are playing table tennis two on two. Bagmus: Yeah we are winning! Yosho: Hah! You wait, the games is not over yet! X: Damn ths is dumb... Nobuyuki: But we gotta wait for Neosaim anyway... Let's just enjoy ourselves. X: (If Lilith was here we'd enjoy ourselves alright...) Suddenly a swarm of bees appear. Bagmus: Damn! Where did they come from! Yosho: They are too many, get ready. Bagmus: But how do we fight so many bees!? Mysterious voice: Hahaha, why don't you enjoy yourseleves with these! X: That voice... Q-Bee! X: Quick, Nobuyuki, use that Alexander materia! Nobuyuki: Okay, here goes! Narrator: Alexander, everybody's favorite giant-robot-castle-thingy, rises out of the group and fires a neato-spiffy beam of hot fiery death at the swarm of bees. Nobuyuki: Ha! Got em! Q-Bee: There's more where that came from! Narrator: Q-Bee fires a big swarm of bees at Nobuyuki, and he does on of them nifty Darkstalkers' 'I've been stung by bees' poses and then falls on the ground. Bagmus: I'll take care of this!! Narrator: Bagmus draws his sword and charges at Q-Bee, but she dodges every strike. Q-Bee: Nice try, but you have to do better than that. Bagmus: Damn, she's too fast! Yosho: Take this! Narrator: Yosho slashes at her with the Tenchi-ken, and cuts her in half ala Bishamon. Q-Bee: Damn. You've one this round, but I will be back. X: Don't worry, we'll be ready for you! Nobuyuki: Well, let's get back to our game! Narrator: And so, the table tennis resumes. Back to Kagato: Kaiouken and Kagato reach ACs mansion, and stop about half a mile away. Kaiouken: I'm certain whatever answers we need, we'll find in there.. Kagato: But how to get in? I'm certain he has security. Kaiouken: Right now, we need someone who can dress up as a cheerleader. Kagato: Neosaim was already hired. Kaiouken: Hmm.. Kagato: Looks like YOU will have to be the one to dress up as a cheerleader. Kaiouken: No...we need another idea. back with Neosaim: Neosaim: Now... Well, they told me to where X is, but this map has the North pointing down... How am I 'sposed to find 'em this way???? (Neosaim suddenly feels an incredible power emmanating from him) NEOSAIM: Who... whoa!!! This is....!!! (Neosaim checks his pockets. He found a AeroBlaster Element!!!!!!!!) NEOSAIM: Grreat!! If I use this on the ground, then I'll be able to fly high and see where X and the others are!!! HAAAAHHH!!! (The force of the wind takes Neo very high into the air) NEOSAIM: Uhmn..... I can see them.... HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Neosaim falls where the party is, using the Aeroblaster) Meanwhile.... X: Uhmn.... did you just heard something??? BAGMUS: umnh... no. NEOSAIM: Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!! (Neosaim falls with his face on the ground!!!) NEOSAIM: Ouuuuuccchhh...... X: You are late! I will only give you 3 slices now! NEOSAIM: Boo hoo hoo!!! Why me??? Back to Animal: [in town] Animal: Hey, you, you want some stuff? Random person: No. Animal: Hey, how about you, you want some stuff? Random person: No. Animal: Hey, Joseph, here's that shipment of Mexican jumping beans you ordered. Joseph: I didn't want any damn jumping beans. Animal: Oh, yeah, that's for someone else. You the one that wanted 40 cakes? Joseph: Yeah. [they make a transaction] Animal: Now I'm off to my hometown. Back to X: While X and the others are playing table tennis, a mesmerized Nadia appear... Bagmus: Who is she? Nadia: Must come... help... X... follow... X: What? Nadia: Who...is X? X...must follow...me...need help...from...X.... Neosaim: Sounds serious. Maybe we should follow her? Nadia: ...Need...only...X....., X...must come with...me....now...... Bagmus: She has a fishy look in her eyes.... Neosaim: What will you do, X? X: Damn, if only MacGuyver was here. He could make some kind of gizmo that would tell us what is wrong with her. Neosaim: I could try to build something. Yosho: I don't think that is a very good idea. Nobuyuki: Well, maybe you should go with her X. Bagmus: Are you nuts? It must be a trap! Nadia: X....come...help.... X: You guys wait here. I'm going to go with her. Bagmus: But X! X: I'll be fine. While X follow after Nadia by himself, Kaiouken and Kagato are about to enter A.C's mansion... Kaiouken: OK, fair enough... Kagato: Yes, now we are both dressed up as cheerleaders. None of us can complain now... Kaiouken: But do you think the guardian at the mansion is going to fall for it? Kagato: We will soon find out, I can see the mansion now... Kaiouken: Do you think it's wise to take the front door? Kagato: We are not. We are taking the back door! Kaiouken: THAT's THE BACK DOOR!? It's huge! Kagato: Wait, there is someone lying on the ground there... Kaiouken: Is that....Zero!? [Kaiou shakes his head] Kaiouken: Oh well. It's just Zero. We've got to save Nadia and Morrigan. Kagato: Right. We'll help Zero...Later! They approach the gate, dressed as cheerleaders. Kagato: Hey there! Guard1: Uh...this is a restricted area! Kaiouken[hanging off of the one guard's arm]: Ooo! Do you play fooot baall? Guard2: No, I'm actually a.. Kagato: What!? You don't play football? We hate guys that don't play football! Guard1: Well, actually, I uh, use to play football back in highschool. Kaiouken[blinking with those pretty cheerleader eyes]: REALLY?! Tell me more! Guard1: Yeah, I was [he's lying] the QB! Kagato: Ooo! So you got to try and run past those big men? You're so brave! Kaiouken passes Kagato, making for Guard1, and whispers in his ear. Kaiouken: Lets end this. I'll take him, you take him. Guard1: Yeah, I was really HURK! Kaiouken had drawn the new sword Animal gave(sold? I forget) him and sliced the guard's stomach open Guard2: Hey! That's not very lady-li..AGH! Kagato drew his sword and slit the guards throat. Kagato: Lets get out of these outfits. I'm freezing in this mini-skirt. [screen goes black, 10 seconds later they're back in their normal clothes] Kaiouken: Leave this door to me. Kaiouken drops to a low stance, pulls his arms back, and slams his palms against the door, attempting to burst it open like he did with the gate to Cosby's castle, but the door holds its ground Kaiouken: Huh?! Kagato: Let me try something else. Kagato walks up to the door and knocks on it a few times. Kaiouken: Pfft. Yeah. Like that'll- [the door opens] Kaiouken(scratching his head): ...Let's just go inside. The two walk in. Kaiouken and Kagato enters a huge mess-hall. Mysterious Voice: Welcome, I expected you sooner... Kagato: A.C.? A.C. and Q-Bee appears in the middle of a long and wide stair. A.C: Indeed. Q-Bee: We are not ready yet... A.C: I know. Kagato: What is all this about? A.C: You haven't figured it out yet? Kaiouken: Where is Nadia!? Q-Bee: She is on her way, I believe she has one of your friends with her... A.C: Now the only one who's missing is Tonnica... Q-Bee: I thought she was with Kagato... Kagato: I came alone, now give me the antidote for Morrigan! A.C: I cannot do that yet. Suddenly a huge red dragon appears. A.C: This is to test your powers a final time. Too bad X and Tonnica isn't here. A.C. and Q-Bee disappears. Kagato: A red dragon, just the two of us doesn't stand much chance... Kaiouken: Nadia is on her way with someone. We just gotta hang on... Zero: Don't forget me! Kaiouken: Zero? You are ok!? Back to Magnakai:(remember him? no?) Magnakai and Pepper are sitting on top of a temple in the woodland. Magnakai: Ahh... what a nice evening to be enjoying... Pepper: Miow! Suddenly a fireball streaks overhead towards the nearby mountain. It crashes into the side, making a thunderous noise, but no apparent damage. Magnakai: Woah!! What was that? It looks like it came from over there. He points towards a vast lake. Its stillness reflects the sky like a mirror. One might think that its depths hold secrets not apparent to the naked eye. Magnakai: Wow... thats an impressive description. I think we're going to have to go there. Pepper: (wisely) miow So they set off on a long journey towards the lake. After some humourous interludes involving an elephant, a billiard ball, a hairy billiard ball, a lesser spotted wagtail, Tonnica, and a unusally shaped turnip, they reached their destination. Magnakai: This lake is HUGE!! There doesnt seem to be much around though. Maybe if I push this handy button.... A stirring occurs to break the still lake surface. Bubbles are shooting upwards, and the surface is broken by a floating skull. Skull: Yes? Magnakai: Umm... hello. Skull: Look, what do you want? I've got company down here. If you're selling something I don't want it. Magnakai: Well, I- Skull: Get to the point!! Manakai: Hang on, I just wanted to know where the giant fireball came from. Skull: Giant fireball? What on earth are you talking about? If your trying to get me to join some cult it wont work mark my words. Magnakai: No, there was a big fireball streaking across the sky the other night. It came from the lake. Skull: Oh, its probably the teleporter playing up again. Magnakai: What teleporter? Skull: Well it takes things from here and there, a bit randomly. Quite dangerous I guess. Well if there isnt anything else then I'd like to say goodnight to you. Managkai: No, thank- The skull disappears beneath the surface quicker than you can see. Magnakai: you. Hmm... Well, Pepper, I guess we'll have to investigate this teleporter. He squints and looks into the distance. Magnakai: I guess its on that island over there.... ^Magnakai casts Slide^ Magnakai: Hop into my pack Pepper, and I'll slide over to it. Pepper hops up into Magnakai's pack. Magnakai: Well, lets go then He slides across the still surface of the lake towards the island. After a matter of minutes they approach the island. Magnakai: Wow, its nothing more than a small piece of mud. But it looked so big from over there.... Hmm whats that? He notices a small stick sticking (as only sticks can) out of the mud. Magnakai: Hmm lets pick it up Pepper: Miow!!! Magnakai: Whats the matter Pepper? He bends down and picks up the stick. As he touches it, his body freezes. A line of blue light appears around his body, and is gradually filled in. Finally he is completely solid blue. Then he fades slowly out. ....10 minutes later.... Magnakai slowly opens his eyes. Magnakai: Woah.. where am I? Standing up, he picks up Pepper, who was resting at his feet, and looks around. Magnakai: Uh-oh.... Kagato to the left of me, and dragons to the right. Here I am... stuck in the middle with you. Pepper what do I do? Pepper: Miow!! ^Magnakai casts levitate^ Magnakai floats up to the roof, runs along and levitates downwards behind Kaiouken, Kagato, and Zero. Magnakai: Hi guys!! Anything I can do to help? Everyone else: ARGHHH!! They all jump up in fright. Kagato: You scared us!! Well, you scared them at least. I dont get scared.... Magnakai: Of course not. So, you seem to be having a little dragon trouble? Kaiouken: What can I say? Theres a dragon. It's big. And red. And we know that's never a good sign. Magnakai: Well, someones gonna have to think of a plan pretty damn fast... Back to Tonnica: Narrator Salamando: Well if I don't get a pay raise by- Uh is this thing on? Whoops! In the deep woods two figures move in near perfect silence- -SNAP- *KA-CHINGGGGG* *THUD* Rezo:"Whoops. Sorry. Hey, give me a break. I'm blind. Narrator Salamando: ANYWAYS as one figure moves in near perfect SILENCE and the other stumbles around lik- -CRASSSSSSSH- [THUD] Tonnica: Picture pages... Hee hee hee... Narrator Salamando: OKAY that's it! I'm goin' back home to my nice volcano and playing Othello with Tropacillio! Here! You can do this!" [jams the singed script into the creepy and thin fingers of Shade] Narrator Shade: [in a deep and elegant voice] ...... Fine. Rezo's keen ears hear the crash of Tonnica tripping in the distance. He moves between the trees faster, sure that the only one crazy enough to be running around in the middle of the woods would be this "Tonnica" he was sent to find. And Kagato. And... Well probably alot of other people. He tries not to think of it as he barely avoids several garden rakes that seem to be strewn accross the path infront of him. Then... Rezo: What in the name of Shaburanigdo? Narrator Shade: Rezo barely finishes saying the Dark Lord's name in time to dive into the bushes as something that was most surely not of the Earth buzzed above him. He pieced what the creature was from the sounds it made... It was an immense flying comet with a toaster head and insect wings. More things whipped by until there was a pause in the mayhem. A second of silence was broken by mad laughter. Tonnica: Hee hee hee... I sense... A massive surface... a perfect canvas! Over there..! For drawing picture pages... FOR MAKING THE MONSTERS OF MADNESS! Uwe hee hee hee hee! Rezo: What in the world..? Could you be the Tonnica that Kagato sent me to find? Narrator Shade: Not paying any attention to Rezo due to her crazed stupor Tonnica bolts off in the direction of the largest clean surface area in the forest... A.C.'s mansion. Rezo: Kids today! They have no respect for their elders! Why Zelgadis should have been happy that he got what he wanted... [grumble grumble] --------------------------------------------- Narrator Shade: Meanwhile in a darkened room in the very core of Flavius' fortress... Flavii: Cosmobus... No... Cosby himself is back. I cannot let someone with such power live to only get in my way! Narrator Shade: When will Cosby make his reappearance? Will Flavii attempt to destroy Cosby and any of his minions again? Will Tonnica graffito-tag A.C.'s mansion? Will Kagato get flashbacks to the Yellow Submarine movie with all the psychadelic creatures roaming around? ... Will Salmando ever learn the err of his ways and control his uncivilized temper? Next time on...The Darkenss of Cosby! Salamando: HEY! I heard that! Back to the Dragon fight... Narrator: Our three, err, four heroes face off against the red dragon. Kagato: Hm...Zero, any suggestions? Zero: Uh.... Kagato: Right. We need ice magic. Zero: Actually that's no- Kaiouken: Hey, just shut up and cast some ice magic, although it won't be anywhere near as stronge as mine! Zero: Oh yeah! I'll show you! Magnakai: (to Kagato) If they are Dragon Ball characters, how can they use magic? Kagato: Don't worry about it. Magnakai: But... Kagato: Just cast some ice magic. Narrator: They all cast bunches of different ice spells, but it doesn't seem to affect the dragon. Kaiouken: It's not working! Magnakai: Hey, this is a blue dragon painted red! Kagato: Damn that AC! He must have planned it this way. ---------- AC: Hm...What happened to the red dragon? Q-Bee: I couldn't find a red one, so I just painted the blue dragon red. AC: Oh well. This does make the fight so much more interesting. ---------- Zero: Well, I guess now we need to use some fire magic. Magnakai: But we used all of our MP casting ice spells. Kagato: Well, we'll just have to go to plan B. Kaiouken: Uh...what's plan B? Narrator: Kagato dives behind the nearest piece of furnature. Zero: That's plan B???? Kagato: Let me know when you guys beat him! Kaiouken: I don't think so! Get over here and help us! Kagato: Alright, fine. Narrator: Kagato pulls a big piece of cheese out of his robe and throws it at the blue dragon. Kagato: Quick, Zero and Kaiouken, fire some kind of Dragon Ball death beam at the cheese! Narrator: Zero and Kaiouken both power up and fire at the cheese. Zero: Take that! Stupid cheese! Kaiouken: Ha! That beam attack of your sucks! Zero: Oh yeah! Kaiouken: Shut up you little punk! Magnakai: Hey, are they always like this? Kagato: Zero has Vegeta Complex. Magnakai: I had that once. Kagato: Really? Magnakai: Well, either that, or I ate some bad pudding. Kagato: Oh. ---------- AC: What are they doing? Q-Bee: It appears that they have beaten the dragon. AC: Well then, it's time for round two! Q-Bee: Shall we use "him?" AC: Yes, that should make for a very interesting show. Narrator: AC and Q-Bee turn to look at an all too familiar little kid with red hair and a very bad receeding hair line. ???: Gimme bak my sister! Narrator: What horrors are in store for our group? Will Kaiouken and Zero stop fighting? Will Kagato pass out and relive the glory days of his youth? Will the Redskins win the Superbowl? Does E=MC^2? Well, um, forget that last one. Just be sure to come back for the exciting uh, continuation of our story!!! Errr....somewhere else: Babobo2 surveys the battle from the cockpit of El Queso. Babobo2: Sweet tap danceing Jebus in a can, those are Albino Umpa Lumpas! El Queso: Verily indeed sir. Sir, if I might point out something? Babobo2: If there are still Albino Umpa Lumpas that means El Lumpas Umpas or El Lumpascron may still be alive. I think it's time to get Unfathomable. Babobo2 flips seemingly random switches and a pull cord till the homemade omnigear El Queso got to the point of being, what observers called, Unfathomable. El Queso: I believe it is time to release the righteous power of cheese! Blarky... pants. They zoom over to the area of the highest Albino Umpa Lumpa concentration leaveing Grizzled Old Man behind armed only with a Sam's Club muffin variety pack) GOM gets glassy eyed: This is just like the Panama op of '32.... Back to Yosho: Narrator: The group watches as X leaves. Bagmus: We can't just sit here! We've got to do something! Nobuyuki: What do you think father? Yosho: Hm..... Narrator: Suddenly, there is a noise from the bushes. Bagmus: What's that? Yosho: Show yourself! Narrator: Slowly, the figure emerges from the bushes. Bagmus: MacGuyver??? MacGuyver: I'm glad I found you! Things have gone very wrong at the Walmart! We need help! Yosho: Well then, let us go. Bagmus: But what about X? Nobuyuki: I'm sure he'll be fine. MacGuyver: Come on, we have little time! Narrator: What horrors await them when they arrive at Walmart? What has happened that makes MacGuyver so frightened? Back with Neosaim: NEOSAIM: Uhmn...... We should prepare for anything... I have a bad feeling.... BAGMUS: Something you ate? NEOSAIM: Maybe. Those slices had a funny taste to them... They probably weren't made of naturally made cheese.... BAGMUS: Then, why do you think we should prepare?? NEOSAIM: If I am not in full conditions, then you are lost, right?? BAGMUS: ........whatever ya say, Neo..... NEOSAIM: When will we reach the walmart?? I want some action!!! BAGMUS: Weren't you sick or something like that?? NEOSAIM: Oh... yeah! Ugggghhh I can't stand it.... the pain... THE PAIN!!!!! BAGMUS: ..... Narrator: As the group celebrate their victory over the blue dragon, there is suddenly a blinding flash of light. Kagato: What the hell? Magnakai: Pepper, cover your eyes! Kaiouken: This power! It can't be! A.C.: That's right! It's... Dan: It's me, Dan! I'll make you pay for destroying Lahan! Narrator: The entire group stands in hide-eyed horror as their enemy aproaches them. Will they be able to win this ultimate battle? Kaiouken: But Dan, we didn't destroy Lahan. It was him. [points at a dominos pizza delivery guy] Dan: You're lying! Pizza delivery guy: No, he isn't, I actually did destroy Lahan. I was driving really fast, trying to get the pizza there in under 30 minutes, then I hit a lightpost. The lightpost fell over and the electricity caused a fire and all of Lahan just ended up exploding. Dan: I'LL GET YOU!!! Dan kills the pizza delivery guy and walks off. Kaiouken: Well, that was easy. Back to X: Narrator: X and Nadia walk through the woods, when suddenly a familiar theme song starts playing. Man: In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men prompty escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team. X: Huh? That's the....A-Team theme! Narrator: Sure enough, a 1982 GMC Custom Van comes roaring down the woodland road, and stops in front of X and Nadia. Mr. T: Hey Sucka, aren't you X? X: Yeah, what do you guys want? Hannibal: We're looking for Kagato. He hired us, but we can't seem to locate him. X: Hm....well, he might be in A.C.'s mansion. Face: Wait a minute. How do you know we can find him there? X: I read page 5. Jeez, I thought you guys always kept up on the latest news. Murdock: Hannibal, I think that we should dress up like girl scouts and sneak into this mansion. Mr. T: Shut up crazy fool! Nadia: X...hurry.... Hannibal: What's with the girl? X: Um, well, I'm following her. Hannibal: Where to? X: Actually, I don't know. Hannibal: Well, you take it easy. Don't forget to eat your cheese! X: Same to you! We'll meet again later! Nadia: X...come.... X: Yeah, yeah. Narrator: The A-Team zoom off in Mr. T's helluva fast van, and X continues to walk along, following Nadia to an unknown destination Narrator: X and Nadia finally comes out of the forest. In front of them is a huge open space with A.C's mansion lurking in the distant...That's when Tonnica suddenly appears above them... X: Tonnica! Tonnica! Damn she can't hear me! Nadia: ....... X: Looks like she is heading for that mansion. Could it be A.C's mansion? Narrator: Meanwhile, inside the mansion... Q-Bee: What do you say? I think they are strong enough for the task. A.C: It is hard to determine. They did not actually defeat Dan... Inside the Mansion: Narrator: As we watch the feline in its native habitat, we ovserve that it notices even the most subtly hidden reporter. Pepper: Miow!!! Narrator: ARGHHH!!! [halfway across the hall] Magnakai: Pepper? Have you caught a mouse? But you're such a gentle cat, it was probably nothing. [Nobody else notices, naturally] Kagato: Hmm... this dragon skull is impressive Kagato bends down and inspects the only remains of the blue dragon. The huge skull remains as menacing as it was when the dragon was wearing it Kaiouken: Aye, that be a biiiiig skull Kagato: Why on earth are you talking like that? Kaiouken: Awwww craaaap. Eeet's out of mai controoolllll. Zero: Well, I think it suits you. And you don't sound so dumb anymore. Kaiouken: Aiimmmmm gonnaaaa beeeaaat yooooo forrr tharrrttt. Kaiouken swtiches to SNK groove, and starts powering up. Magnakai: Umm... why don't you just take that melon out of your mouth. Kaiouken looks blank for a second. Then he reaches inside his mouth and pulls out a melon, and a giant key. Kaiouken: Umm... how did that get in there? Kagato:... Zero:... Magnakai:... Pepper: Miow? Kagato, Zero and Magnakai: Hahahah... Pepper that was funny... Kaiouken: ........ Anyway look, theres a big gem in the skull's forehead. Kagato: That wasn't there before. Magnakai: It's a plot device. Don't worry. Big Voice From The Sky: HE'S RIGHT! Zero tries to pull off the gem, but it wont budge. Zero: Damn... and that gem could've been worth something. Hey look theres a capsule inside! Kagato: Here, let me try to get it out. ^Kagato uses Water Blast^ ^Dragon Skull is unaffected!!^ Kaiouken: Water Blast!! What are you using that for? ^Magnakai casts Force Blast^ The gem remains stuck. Magnakai: It's truly jammed... Lets just leave it. Everyone else: Awww Pepper: Meow? [Everyone turns around] Kagato: A.C!! Standing, bathed in an aura of white light is A.C. A flame flickers from the palm of each of his outstretched hands. Behind him, Q-Bee floats with an enormous swarm of bees around her. ^A.C. casts Hold^ ^Magnakai casts Reflect^ Magnakai: damn..., not quick enough A.C. [loud, booming voice]: Greetings mortals....I'd like to welcome you to my mansion. Zero: We've been here for ages. Anyway, you already knew we were here. Kagato: You said that defeating the dragon was the final test!! A.C.: I'm not finished yet! A silouette drops down from the ceiling. Dan: You didnt think you could get rid of me THAT easily. Kaiouken: Holy Kamolie Kagato!! What do we do now? Kagato: I don't know... Magnakai: Theres only one man who can save us now... The front door slams open, and in walks a dark figure. Voice: You crazy fool! Everyone: Mr. T!! Magnakai: Ok, so there are two men who can help us Mr. T: Woah, theres some BAD shit going down. Face walks in brandishing an M16, and throws one to Mr. T, too. Magnakai: Ok, maybe there are three guys Face: I thought we'd help even the odds a little Kagato: I hired you to help us. So help us!! Hannibal walks in, armed to the teeth. Hannibal: Hello boys Magnakai: Four men Hannibal: Kagato, we DO require payment up front. We only do that with beautiful helpless women. And you're not one. Kagato: I can change!! A.C. I'd like to see that Kaiouken: I wouldn't A.C.: Shut up, you ^A.C. casts [SILENCE]^ Kaiouken is silenced! Amist the commotion, Pepper jumps from Magnakai's pack. Only Magnakai notices. Magnakai: Great, four guys and a cat Suddenly an almightly crash is heard. The skylight shatters, raining glass on everyone below. Fortunately most people remain uninjured. The A-Team were not so lucky. Mr T. had his big toe impaled, Hannibal got his cigar chopped in half, face lost an eyebrow, but Murdoch escaped unscathed. Tonnica: BIG BLANK CANVAS!!!! Zero: Tonnica? Tonnica: Uwe hee hee hee hee! Narrator Shade: Tonnica stands in the middle of the floor weilding a small paintbrush in one hand and her broom (with Zel dolly still) in the other. Unable to register the presence of anyone else in the room she runs back and forth sweeping everything off the floor (and anyone). Then she unleashes the most dreadedly buggy attack of all time... Tonnica: I've got my canvas now... SKETCH! Narrator Shade: She lifts up the brush as she shouts. Suddenly sparks and paint fly everywhere as A.C. tries to disarm her with a spell. Face gets buried in 99+99 Dirks, Kagato's pocket suddenly explodes as it's filled with 99 Tonics, and one of the extra bees is turned into a small green dog. And when the Tonic stops splashing everywhere... Magnakai: What happened? Kaiouken: Man! My clothes are soaked! Kagato: I think we glitched out. We got off lucky. Except for my pocket. Now where am I supposed to keep my random items? Pepper: Miow? Magnakai: What is it Pepper? Are you hungry? Narrator Shade: "Pepper runs in behind Magnakai and looks with fear at the center of the room. Tonnica is still sketching madly but her creation is begginning to lift off the floor... Psychadelic bubbles with alien peaches in them and inanimate eagle statues with fish heads jump up. Then a very sketchy Malrute Deus Orb then... A Cosbomus Spawn. All diving to attack Dan... A.C.: Oh my... Cosbomus has finally risen again! Cosbomus Spawn: RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAR! Uh- I mean SUBMIT TO THE POWERS OF JELLO! RENOUNCE YOUR HIPPIN' AND A HOPPIN' AND A BIPPIN' AND A BOPPIN'! Dan: Gimme back my sister! Zero: How the hell can she draw that fast? Narrator Shade: Tonnica moves on to painting on the walls with the room getting quickly crowded with nearly powerless Dhali studies. She bumps into Kaiouken who tips her out of the way. She topples and the back of her head hits the gem on the dragon's skull with a loud CRACK. Tonnica: Ugh... Hey! Tipping me is not a national sport! And- [passes out] Narrator Shade: Tonnica's hard head seemed to have cracked the gem on the dragons skull. The capsule in the gem began emitting a faint Speilbergian light... Meanwhile the sketchy Malrute tries to Fuel Drain eveyone and the Cosbomus continues to ramble on. One of A.C.'s veins seems to have popped up in annoyance... Meanwhile... --------------------------------------------- Flavii: "I can sense it... A Cosbomus spawn has been brought to life. And, if I am not mistaken the very spirit of Cosby is somewhere in the vacinity too. I'll be there all too quickly! Ha haha hahahaha ha!" --------------------------------------------- Narrator Shade: "Is Tonnica back from the dark side? For that matter will she live after so many repeated head traumas? What's A.C.'s motive? Has anyone else seen the Lobster Magnet video? Will Kagato's pocket ever get re-sewn? What's the use of weakling sketched monsters anyway? What will happen next in the Amazing Adventures of Big J- whoops. Wrong script. Next time on... The Darkness of Cosby?!" Q-Bee: Well, there she was...just like you wanted... A.C: This...is Tonnica? Q-Bee: Yes, and it looks like X has arrived too... A disturbed X and a mesmerized Nadia comes in and sees all the mess. X: Is this A.C.'s mansion? I'd expected him to have a little better taste in decorating... Kagato: Cosmobus has been reborn!! Help us Mr.T!! Mr.T: Yo! You gotta pay us up front sucka! Kaiouken: Or dress up as a girl... Kagato: Never, I will NOT dress up as a girl. Q-Bee: Will you do it for me then, Mr.T? Kagato: Q-Bee? Q-Bee: This is not part of our plan, the Cosmobus is our enemy as well! A.C: Indeed! A.C. leaves, and comes back dressed up as a girl. A.C: Oh Mr.T, please save us from this evil creature! Q-Bee. Pretty please! X: Is that A.C.? I didn't know he had gender identity problems? Kagato: Wait, somebody gotta help Tonnica... Kaiouken: She might be on Flavius' side now. Kagato: No way! Kaiouken: Wake up you idiot! She resurrected the dark lord Cosmobus!! Elsewhere: [On the bridge of the Shadow Hawk...] [*ping* *ping* *ping*] Hunter/Tom: What's that pinging sound? Computer: Sensors have detected a massive jello force in a castle. Hunter: Launch a probe. [probe is launched and hovers over A.C.'s castle] Computer: Telemetry coming back from the probe.... confirmed, Cosbomus Spawn, A.C., Q-Bee, and multiple YuckForce fighters detected. Hunter: I'm going in, prepare the Revenge Blade. He makes his way to the fighter bay... Computer: Good luck sir... Hunter: I'll need it.... The Revenge Blade, an incredibly powerful Fighter, launches and speeds towards A.C.'s castle. Hunter: Let's Rumble! Back to the Mansion: Nadia sees Kaiouken and wakes up. Nadia: Kaiou! Nadia runs up and hugs him. Kaiouken: Uh...Hi...not now, ok? Nadia: Ok. Kaiouken powers up for several minutes, then his hair stands on end, grows 5 feet, and turns blond. Kaiouken: I defeated you last time cosbomus..Hey! Thanks to the sketch bug, I've got an Illumina sword! Kaiouken equips genjii glove and two illumina swords. Kaiouken: Alright...get ready cosbomus! Get ready to DIE!!! Kaiouken charges, but at the last moment...he sees that the A-Team has already gunned down all of the sketches. Kaiouken[standing on one foot like he stopped in mid charge]: Eh? Some time passes... Narrator: After everyone is introduced, they all sit down for a nice cup of tea. X: So, A.C., why did you bring us here? A.C.: Well, to play Quake III of course! I want to have a networked deathmatch with all of you. If we get enough people, we can get in a record book of some kind! Kagato: What? A.C.: Just kidding! I actually brought you all here so that we can plan our attack on Cosbomus. Kagato: Well, why did you attack Morrigan and kidnap Zero and Nadia? A.C.: Sore wa, himitsu desu. Narrator: Everyone sweat drops as A.C. shakes the no-no finger. Narrator: As they discuss A.C.'s plan, Kagato helps Tonnica. He wrings out and replaces a wet towel on her forehead. Kagato: Are you okay? Tonnica: Must.....pictures..... Kaiouken: Is she okay? Kagato: I dunno. She did hit that wierd gem hard enough to crack it. Kaiouken: Yeah, good point. What's up with this skull anyway? Why is that gem in it? Kagato: Who knows? A.C. doesn't know much about the dragon at all really. Q-Bee is the one who did everything. Kaiouken: Jeez....what a strange guy. Kagato: Will you stop staring at me!?! Kaiouken: Sorry. Back to Babobo2: The battle fares poorly for Babobo2 and the Unfathonable Homemade Omnigear El Queso, even the Dreaded Super Insane Holy Cheese Weasel Hell attack can not clear the Albino Umpa Lumpas away fast enough. Without the power of the divine Mr. Yuck sticker, which one of the little white buggers had torn off, the Unfathonable El Queso is being overrun. Babobo2: Damnable little hellions aren't they? El Queso: Yes, sir. It would seem that they have grown stronger since our previous battles. Babobo2: This calls for some pure unadulterated violence. Prepare to summon the Heavenly Nadir Rail Cannon El Queso. Not So Mysterious voice: Yes Babobo2, summon your finest weapon for this is your last duel. Babobo2: Orson Wells? Not So Mysterious Voice: NO NOT ORSON WELLS!! Do you forget your opponents so readily? I am El Lumpascron. And this time you do not have the blessing of Yuck or the company of the Evas. You are mine. El Queso: You do know it is poor grammar to start a sentence with a preposition whoop WOO. El Lumpascron: I do not need leasons in speech from a glorified Furbie. During this exchange, Babobo2 had hit a sealed button, summoning the Heavenly Nadir Rail Cannon. It appears in a compartment in the unfathonable El Queso's back sheathed and ready to go. Babobo2 opens the cockpit and looks at El Lumpascron: Well, Lumpy it's been fun. Reaching behind it's back and using what passerby reffered to as 'Zelda physics' the Unfathonable El Queso pulled from a small 5*5 compartment in it's back a cannon at least three times the homemade omnigear's length and held it a waist height, the barrel aimed in the direction of El Lumpascron's voice. Babobo2: Because, [the cannon glows] somebody, [little balls of light are being sucked in the barrel] somewhere, [various gizmos inside start makeing the Death Star Laser noise] wants a peice! >From the point of view of the defense satelitte orbiting over head it looked like nothing happened, but on the ground... Babobo2: What the hell was THAT?!?! El Queso: Nothing sir. Babobo2: No *explicative**explicative* Sherlock!!! Why was it nothing? El Lumpascron: Did you not think I would prepare for our meeting again? Not only have I recreated these Albino Umpa Lumpas but I have acquired a power which you could never hope to match. Especially now that your link to Yuck has been severed, Grizzled Old Man is preoccupied and Eva 01 and Shinji are beyond your abilities to beckon. You are mine now boy, and vengence shall be mine!!! What could a being created from a collective of Albino Umpa Lumpas, the Jello reactor and the remains of Unicron posably attained that could grant him even more power? Where is Grizzled Old Man? What's up with this story? Soon, all will be revealed trough an odd reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide, a visit to Franklin County and a run on Bartwiser. Back to Hunter, by A.C.'s Mansion: He jumps out of the Revenge Blade, as it hovers over A.C.'s castle. Hunter: Glitch, Area Scan. Glitch: Whirr click buzz! Hunter: The guys are that way! Glitch: click click! Hunter: All right. He slinks around the castle, avoiding Cosbomus and making his way to the rest of the team. Glitch: [makes that sound R2-D2 makes when he's scared, that wooo, wooo!] Hunter:Hi guys! Narrator: X walks through A.C.'s mansion, looking for some cool swag he can take. X: Man, this place is kinda empty. Hm...what's behind this strange sealed door with the big sign saying "DO NOT OPEN?" Narrator: X opens the door, and is quickly sucked in by some kind of black tentacle thing. X: Aw crap. Next time, I won't open the door. Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the main hall... Kagato: Oh man. Do we really have to clean the walls and floor? A.C.: Yes. Kaiouken: But why? A.C.: Well, this isn't my mansion actually. I just happened to walk by one day and thought it would be a cool place to hang out. Zero: What? Then who does this place belong to? ???: It belongs to Lord Demitri. Narrator: Everyone turns around to see Demitri's wierd butler guy from the Night Warriors OAV. Butler: You are all trespassing in my Lord's home. I will only tell you to leave once. Kagato: But we've got nowhere else to go! Kaiouken: Speak for yourself. I can go train in one of them gravity chambers built by Dr. Briefs. Mr. T: And I got my van, foo'. Dan: Well, I don't have anywhere to go because my village was destroyed! Kagato: Well, you know Dan, after playing CT, I've found out that if something is destroyed, you just have to do a little time travel to fix it. Dan: Really? A.C.: He's right! Dan: Well, see ya later! Zero: Hey, has anyone seen X? Narrator: What has happened to X? Will his friends be able to find him before it's too late? {Next chapter} Narrator: The A-Team leave the mansion with Dan, and the rest of the group (including: Kaiouken, Kagato, A.C, Q-Bee, Zero, Magnakai, Nadia, Hunter, Glitch and Pepper) start to search the mansion for X. Tonnica remains unconsious in the main hall with Demitri's Butler... A.C: Here, Kagato... Kagato: What is this? A.C: It's the antidote for Morrigan... Kagato: I see, I must go back and wake up Morrigan soon! Kaiouken: As soon as we find X! Zero: We should split up in small groups. I'd like to go with Nadia... Kaiouken: Oh no you don't! I'll decide the groups! Kagato: We should go 3 and 3. That's 3 groups not including Pepper. Magnakai: How about this? Group 1: Magnakai, Glitch & Nadia Group 2: A.C, Q-Bee & Kagato Group 3: Hunter, Zero & Kaiouken Zero & Kaiouken: No I refuse to go with him! (Pointing at each other...) A.C: Oh dear oh dear.... Magnakai: Well does anyone else got any better ideas? Kaiouken:[pointing at Hunter] I refuse to acknowledge his existance. Including Pepper, we have three groups of three. Nadia:[claps her hands together] I know! Why don't we do this... Group 1: A.C, Q-Bee, Magnakai Group 2: Kagato, Kaiouken, Nadia Group 3: Zero, Hunter, Glitch I like that MUCH better, so that's that. So now we only hafta decide who'll explore where. End Chapter 2....Cliffhanger, anyone?