***************************************************************************
			The Grass is Always Greener
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			   Part Five of Too Many

		By: Shamus Bowker, aka Tenchi -  tenchi@netcom.ca
		    Allan Scott,   aka Ryoga  -  ryoga@uvic.ca

	The official homepage: http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/1525/
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The story so far:

Ranma Saotome meets Tenchi Masaki. (Sorry, but I thought the other line was

getting a little old.) Anyway, with a little help from Washu, they switch

places. The new Ranma finds himself being challenged by Ryoga, while the new

Tenchi has... problems adjusting. Ranma hides from Ryoga, who winds up lost

in Washu's lab trying to look for him. Ryoko is sent out by Washu to monitor 

Ranma, and winds up (for various reasons) in jail. Ayeka and Sasami notice

that Tenchi has been acting oddly lately. They become even more concerned

when they realize that Ryoko, Washu, and Mihoshi have all disappeared. Ryoga

finds Mihoshi, who's also lost in Washu's lab, and they wind up getting into

and then breaking out of a specimen container.

And now, the fic continues... (again)

				* * * * *

	The door to Washu's lab opened slowly into the empty hallway. A large 

man carrying a huge sword stepped out and looked around, blinking at the

sudden change in lighting.

	"Waaashuuu," he murmured softly to himself. A smile slowly spread

across his face. "Waaaaaashuuuu......"

	He loped down the hallway dragging his sword behind, and into the

kitchen.

	Ayeka went down the stairs and into the living room, humming quietly

to herself. As she approached the kitchen, she saw a man with a sword going

through the cabinets.

	"Oh my!" she gasped, flattening herself against the kitchen wall.

	The man turned to follow the noise, just in time to see Ayeka

dissapear out of the kitchen. The man decided that nothing important had

happened, and he resumed his search. He grinned as he found a cabinet 

stocked with sake. If he could read, he would have seen that the little sign 

taped across the row of bottles said "Ryoko's stash. Touch and I break your 

head." Even if he could read he would not have cared. He grasped one of the 

bottles by the neck and pulled it free. Then he began to drink.

				* * * * *

	Ryoko was sitting on the cot in her cell, fiddling with the multi-

coloured cube Washu had given her. Eventually, she threw the cube to the 

floor and stood.

	"That's it!" she shouted. "I can't handle this!"

	She grabbed the cot and began to twist the legs and bend the frame.

She continued to do this for about a minute before she put the cot back 

down. Ryoko sat back down on the cot, which now more closely resembled a 

lawn chair.

	"Ahh," she sighed, "much better."

	Ryoko picked up the multi-coloured cube from where it had fallen on 

the floor and resumed fiddling with it, her toungue sticking slightly out of

her mouth.

				* * * * *

	Tenchi was out in the field, tilling again.

	Does this guy really just till fields all day? he wondered, wiping his

sweaty brow.

	Tenchi looked at the numerous fields, all filled with carrots.

	Well, maybe, he decided.

	A panting Ayeka came running towards him from across the fields.

	"Tenchi!" she gasped as she neared him.

	"Hi Ayeka!" he called back cheerfully, glad for a break. "What's going 

on? You seem to be in quite a hurry."

	Ayeka finally reached Tenchi and stopped to catch her breath.

	"You'd be running too if you had seen him!" she panted.

	"What? Who?" Tenchi asked.

	"There is a BIG man with a sword in the kitchen," Ayeka continued, 

pointing frantically towards the house.

	"What's he doing?"

	"Going through the cabinets! Maybe he's a burglar!"

	Tenchi stared at the house in the distance.

	"Alright, I'll take a look."

				* * * * *

	Two police officers pushed Genma down the halls of the police station,

his hands cuffed behind his back.

	"Seems like everybody's trying to leave without paying their bill,"

commented one of the officers.

	"I shouldn't have gone for that last order of mini-squid," Genma

cursed himself. "I didn't realize they were so expensive."

	One of the officers nudged the other, a playful grin on his face.

	"Hey," he said, "we aren't putting him in with HER, are we?"

	The officer winked.

	"Yeah," the other officer answered, playing along, "we are."

	He laughed evilly. Genma began to sweat.

	"I don't think she'd be too happy to have company," the first officer

said thoughtfully.

	"We don't have much choice, there aren't any free cells. Would you 

rather we put him in with Mike 'The Molester'?"

	"Good point. That would be hell on earth."

	The officers laughed. Genma looked nervously behind him at the two

cops, and one of them patted him on the back, laughing harder. Genma began

to laugh with relief, and the two officers were almost hysterical.

	They came to a halt in front of a cell near the end of the hall.

There was someone huddled in the corner, staring intently at something she

held in her hands. The first officer unlocked the door and opened it. The

second officer pushed Genma inside and closed the door.

	"You'd better be nice to her," the first officer advised, locking the

door.

	"Yeah. Don't make me tell you why she's in here." laughed the other.

	The officers walked back the way they came and left, grinning. Genma 

turned towards the woman in the corner. He saw her sitting on some sort of 

metal box, fiddling with something in her hands. He inched across the room, 

trying to get a better look at the object in her hands.

	"Excuse me," he said, tapping her shoulder, "what do you have there?"

	The woman's head snapped up and turned to face him. She growled.

	"I'm sorry to bother you," Genma said, backing away.

	Ryoko turned her attention back to her cube.
				
				* * * * *

	The phone rang at the Tendo dojo.

	"I'll get it!" Ranma called, running to the phone. Nobody argued.

	Ranma got to the phone and picked it up.        
	
	"Hello?" said the voice on the other side. "This is captain Britian of

the Tokyo police force."

	"Uh, hello captain," Ranma replied. "What can I do for you?"

	"Can I speak to Soun Tendo?" the captain asked.

	"Uh, he's out right now. Can I help with anything?"

	"Well, we've got a Genma Saotome down here."

	Ranma paused to think a moment.

	"Oh yeah!" he said. "Dad!"

	"He's your dad?" Britian questioned.

	"Yeah," Ranma replied. "What did he do?"

	"Nothing major, just try to leave a restaurant without paying."

	"What? But I just gave him lots of..."

	"He ran up a REALLY big tab. Mini-squid is expensive."

	"Alright, I'll tell Mister Tendo when he gets back."

	"Thanks."

	Ranma hung up.

	Great, he thought, now Mister Tendo is going to have to post bail for

my 'dad'.

	Someone knocked at the door.

	"I'll get it!" Ranma shouted, rushing to the door. Again, nobody 

argued.

	He opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the large spatula

the visitor had on her back. The second thing he noticed that she was 

female. The third thing he noticed was that she was smiling warmly at him.

	"Hi! How's it going, Ranma honey?" she greeted him.

	"Um... hi there. How've you been....uh...." he paused.

	"Not too bad. Business has been kind of slow lately, however." she

pouted. "The Nekohanten is dragging away all my customers with their new

waitress."

	She leaned against him as she continued, "I was wondering, Ranma, if

you'd be interested in coming to work for me for a change."

	"Well, you see, I've kind of got a commitment at the Nekohanten, I 

don't know what I would tell my boss..."

	Ukyo laughed. "Just tell the 'old ghoul' that you've got a better 

paying job somewhere else for TWICE the money."

	Ranma saw dollar signs. Well, Yen signs, same difference.

	"I suppose I could do that." he smirked, polishing his fingernails

against his shirt.

	Ukyo hugged him. "Okay then, see you at six then?"

	"Sure thing." Ranma replied confidentally.

	Ukyo skipped out of the front gate past Akane, who was just coming 

home.

	"What's she all happy about?" Akane wondered aloud.

	Inside, Ranma was INCREDIBLY happy. Alright! he thought, now I can 

get my dad outta jail AND pay back Mister Tendo. I'm gonna get TWICE the 

money working for... working for...

	Damn.

				* * * * *

	Washu waited patiently at her table in the Nekohanten.

	Hasn't she noticed me by now? she wondered.

	Cologne came out of the back room.

	Okay, Washu thought, here she comes. She took a breath.

	Cologne passed by Washu's table and began to move over to the far side

of the restaurant.

	"Hey!" Washu called. "Can I have some service over here?"

	Cologne turned around to face Washu.

	"Excuse me?" she said.

	"I'd like some service!" Washu demanded.

	"If you could just wait, I'm sure someone will get to you soon,"

Cologne stated.

	"I've been waiting for half an hour!"

	"Well..."

	"It's not as if you're busy!"

	Washu swept her arm out to emphasize that the restaurant was empty.

	"Well then," Cologne said, "what would you like to order?"

	"This," Washu said, pointing to an item on the menu.

	Cologne glanced at the item Washu was indicating.

	"I'll have your order filled immediately," Cologne said, turning 

toward the kitchen.

	Cologne went into the back room. As soon the curtain fell back into 

place, Washu looked under the tablecloth to see if Shampoo was still asleep.

	"That's a good girl," Washu said, dropping the tablecloth.

	Cologne returned, carrying Washu's order. She placed it on the table.

	"Here you are," Cologne said.

	Washu looked at the ramen.

	"Aren't you going to eat it?" asked Cologne.

	"Of course!" Washu answered.

	She wouldn't try such an obvious ploy, Washu wondered, would she?

	Washu sniffed at the ramen.

	"Smells good," she said.

	"It tastes even better," Cologne responded.

	Washu looked at the ramen warily.

	"Did you put eggs in this?" she asked.

	"Yes," Cologne replied.

	"Oh, I'm sorry," Washu apologized. "I forgot to tell you I'm allergic

to eggs!"

	"That's all right," said Cologne, "I'll make you a bowl without eggs."

	Cologne went back to the kitchen. Washu pulled a small device out of 

her pocket and held in up to the ramen. She examined the display for a 

moment.

	Looks ok, Washu thought as she put away her device.

	Cologne returned, carrying another bowl of ramen. She placed it on

the table in front of Washu.

	"I hope this is more to your liking," she said.

	Washu looked at the new bowl of ramen.

	She isn't tricky enough to make a normal bowl the first time, Washu

thought, knowing that I'd reject it, and then poison the second, is she?

	"Well?" asked Cologne. "Is there something else you're allergic to?"

	Washu shrugged and began eating.

	"This is delicious," she stated. "Where'd you learn to make it?"

	"It's an old recipe I learnt back in China," Cologne explained.

	"China?" Washu said. "So when did you come to Japan?"

	"A few years ago."

	"Why?"

	"Visiting relations."

	"Who? The waitress girl?"

	"Yes. She's my great-granddaughter."

	This isn't right, Washu thought, this can't be her! 

	"Ahh!" said Washu. "Now that makes sense."

	Washu thought for a moment. It's not her, but she may know more than

she's telling. I need to take her back to the lab and run a few tests to see

who she really is.

	Cologne glared at Washu suspiciously. The uniform Washu was wearing

looked odd, almost like the robes of the tribal priestesses... and that 

hair! It looked like the evil demoness Washu-ron described in the ancient 

legends. But that was impossible, wasn't it? Washu put on a pair of shades 

and pulled a metal stick out of her pocket.

	"Do I know you?" asked Cologne.

	"Smile for the birdie!" Washu said cheerfully.

	There was a bright flash from the end of the stick.

	Cologne stood motionless. Washu put the stick away and took off the

sunglasses.

	"Okay, now how about we take a little trip?"

	Cologne stood motionless, staring ahead. Washu turned and walked 

towards the door, and Cologne followed like an obedient puppy.

	Under the table, Shampoo slept. When she awoke a few hours later, she

was surprised to find a receipt and one gold coin on top of the table, the 

words "Local Currency" engraved upon it. She shrugged, tossed the coin into 

her pocket, and went into the kitchen to find her great grandmother.

				* * * * *

	Ranma smiled happily as he danced around the restaurant with his mop.

He was getting paid twice as much as he was at the Nekohanten, with minimal 

work! AND he was working as a guy for a change. He was sure that with his 

charm and ability as a waiter, the ladies would come flocking to Ukyo's 

place. And here, he got TIPS. Well, so far he had only gotten 50 yen from 

some old woman who thought he was her grandson, but he was sure it would 

pick up.

	His only worry was what Cologne would do when she found out.

				* * * * *

	Tenchi entered the house and looked around cautiously. He heard noises

that sounded oddly like singing coming from the kitchen. He crept to the 

doorway and peered through. The man was still in the kitchen, sitting on the 

floor surrounded by empty bottles. Tenchi sniffed the air.

	Smells like sake, Tenchi thought.

	Then, the fumes hit him. He reeled back.

	Smells a LOT like sake, he corrected himself.

	The man saw Tenchi in the doorway and waved his sword in a threatening 

way.

	"Waaashuuu," he moaned, trying to stand.

	"Washu's over there," Tenchi said, pointing to the lab down the hall.

	The man stood up slowly. He stood motionless for a moment, staring off

into space. Then in his mind, something clicked. His head turned to look 

down the hallway. He blinked. His head slowly turned back to face Tenchi.

	"Washu!" he shouted, charging at Tenchi.

	Tenchi jumped backwards as the man brought his sword down and made a 

clean cut in the floor. He pulled his sword out of the wood and looked 

around to see where Tenchi had gone. Tenchi stood near the back door

and was waving his arms frantically.

	"Hey! You!" he shouted, "Over here!"

	I've gotta get him away from the house, Tenchi thought.

	Tenchi ran out of the doorway, with the man in slow pursuit. The man 

walked outside into the sun, and tried to shield his eyes as he stood on the 

lawn. Tenchi leapt from the top of the balcony where he had been hiding and 

aimed a kick at the back of the man's neck. The man turned and swung his arm 

at his attacker, batting him away. Tenchi flew through the air, landed 

awkwardly and slowly stood.

	"Tenchi!" Ayeka yelled, running towards him from the fields.

	"Stay back, Ayeka!" Tenchi called back. "I'll take care of this guy!"

	The man charged Tenchi again. Tenchi jumped again, trying to aim a 

kick at the side of the man's head. Again he was swatted away with the man's 

free arm. Tenchi rolled through the dirt.

	"Tenchi!" Ayeka called again.

	"Don't worry!" Tenchi responded, standing. "I'm okay!"

	"Waaashuuu," the man said, walking towards Tenchi.

	Tenchi rolled towards the man and delivered several kidney punches in 

rapid succession, with no effect. The man looked down at Tenchi and growled. 

Tenchi smiled up at the man towering over him, then jumped out of the way as 

the sword came down and made another clean cut in the ground.

	I can't hurt him! Tenchi told himself. He's more durable than Ryoga 

ever was!

	The man turned toward Tenchi and lifted his sword. Tenchi looked at 

the man for a moment, thought of his options, and ran.

	"C'mon Ayeka!" he shouted, grabbing her by the arm as he passed.

				* * * * *

	Ryoko still sat in the corner of her cell, frantically working the

cube in her hands. Genma sat uncomfortably in the opposite corner, wishing 

the cell had a cot. Ryoko stopped fiddling with cube, and began staring at 

it. She turned it over a few times in her hands. Finally, she stood up 

triumphantly.

	"I've done it!" Ryoko shouted, holding the cube up in her hand. She 

laughed hysterically.

	A door opened down the hall, and people came walking toward the cell. 

Washu and two police officers came into view. Washu had a backpack slung 

over her shoulder, and a length of white hair dangled out.

	"I solved your little cube!" Ryoko laughed triumphantly at Washu.

	Washu looked at the cube in Ryoko's hand and smiled.

	"Aw," said Washu, "you peeled off the stickers, didn't you?"

	Ryoko was shocked.

	"How did you know that?" she demanded, hurt.

	"If you'd really solved the puzzle," Washu answered, "the door would 

have opened."

	Washu noticed Genma sitting in the cell.

	"And what did you do to this poor guy?" she asked.

	"Huh?" Ryoko replied, turning to look at Genma. "Who? Oh, I didn't see

him come in. Hi there cutie." she waved.

	Washu began digging in her pocket.

	"Okay," she told the guards, "let her out."

	The guards opened the cell door.

	"Here," Washu said, tossing Ryoko a pair of sunglasses, "I brought you

a present. Put them on."

	Ryoko caught the sunglasses, but hesitated to put them on.

	"Do it," Washu commanded.

	Ryoko decided to do as she was told, and Washu put on her own pair of

sunglasses. Washu pulled out her metal stick and there was a bright flash.

	"You never saw me or her," she told the guards, "now get back to where

you belong."

	The guards walked away in a trance-like state.

	"C'mon, Ryoko," Washu said, putting her glasses away, "let's go back 

home."

	The two left the same way the police officers had gone. A few minutes

later, Genma walked out of the open door and left the cell block.

				* * * * *

	Ranma was walking home from his second job of the day. He was almost

at the Tendo dojo when he saw Kuno standing outside the gate, pounding on 

it.

	"I demand that you open this gate so that I may fight with that fiend,

Ranma Saotome," he shouted.

	"Sorry, Kuno baby," Nabiki called from behind the gate, "but Ranma's 

out right now."

	"Do you dare speak falsehoods to the great Tatewaki Kuno?" Kuno 

roared. "I know that he has taken his refuge within these walls, trembling

with his fear of the vengance of Blue Thunder!"

	"Whatever you say," Nabiki called back, "He's still not here!"

	Kuno turned, and saw Ranma.

	"Aha!" he exclaimed. "Thou hast tried to sneak out! Saotome, you

coward, I challenge you!" He drew his boken.

	Nabiki opened the gate and leaned out.

	"Hi Ranma," she called, waving.

	"Huh?" said Ranma.

	"You may have fled from me once, Saotome," Kuno continued on, "but 

this time we shall duel!"

	"Did you run from TWO fights today Ranma?" Akane asked as she appeared

at the gate.

	"What?" Ranma exclaimed. "No! He was the one who ran!"

	"Silence, impudent fool!" Kuno shouted. "I merely departed to procure

a weapon for thee, in order that the fight would be, as you wished, fair."

	Oops, Ranma thought.

	Kuno threw a boken at Ranma.

	"Come!" he called. "Let us conclude this matter!"

	"You guys can't just fight out here!" Akane said.

	"Right," Nabiki agreed, "you should fight in the training hall!"

				* * * * *

	Tenchi and Ayeka finished climbing the steps to the Masaki shrine, and

collapsed on the ground.

	"I hope Sasami's okay," Tenchi stated, trying to catch his breath.

	"Oh dear," said Ayeka.

	Then Ayeka remembered the barricade.

	"She'll probably be okay," she said.

	Katsuhito stepped out of the shrine.

	"Tenchi!" he called. "What are you doing?"

	"There's a huge man with a sword at the house!" Tenchi answered.

	"Then what are you doing up here?" asked Katsuhito. "You should be

down there, doing something about it!"

	"I tried! I couldn't even bruise him!"

	"Hmm."

	"What?"

	Katsuhito produced a sword hilt and held it out to Tenchi.

	"Perhaps you should have been using this," he suggested.

	"What?" said Tenchi. "I can't use this!"

	Katsuhito shook the sword hilt at Tenchi.

	"And what do you intend to use to protect Ayeka then?" he asked.

	Tenchi looked at Ayeka, who was still sitting on the ground, and back

at the sword hilt. Finally, he stood up and took the hilt from Katsuhito. He

held it out in front of him, but nothing happened.

	There's no blade on this thing, even! he thought to himself.

	"Concentrate, Tenchi," said Katsuhito.

	Still, nothing happened. Tenchi was beginning to doubt his 

grandfather's sanity.

	"The sword should respond naturally to your blood," said Katsuhito.

"Just relax and concentrate. Send your power flowing through it. Draw the 

energy from around you."

	I'm a martial artist! Tenchi thought. This should be easy for me! 

Focusing power is what I do!

	He clenched his teeth, then relaxed. He closed his eyes and 

concentrated. In his mind, he saw the sword with a blade. A blade so sharp 

it could cut steel. A blade so sharp it could cut anything.

	A thin red blade of light appeared, extending from the hilt. It flared 

up and then began to dim, but it stopped and stayed at the same brightness.

	Katsuhito stared at the sword.

	"Red," he spoke softly.
	
	He thought for a moment.

	"Now go," Katsuhito said, pointing down the steps.

	"Right," Tenchi replied.

	Tenchi walked to the stairs.

	"Be careful, Tenchi," Ayeka said as he departed.

	"Ayeka, I think something is wrong with Tenchi." he said, putting his 

hand on her shoulder. She looked at him with surprise.

				* * * * *

	Soun walked towards the training hall.

	What is this noise about? he wondered.

	He opened the door and found that the hall was filled with people.

	"What is going on here?" he asked, running into the room and looking 

around frantically.

	He spotted Nabiki amongst the crowd.

	"Nabiki!" he called, running towards her. "Why are all these people 

in my dojo?"

	Nabiki walked to the door, taking tickets from people as she 

travelled.

	"They're going to watch the big fight between Kuno and Ranma, daddy,"

she said.

	"Fight? In here?" Soun said in a worried tone, following her.

	"Hey you!" Nabiki shouted across the hall. "Where's your ticket?"

	Nabiki ran off into the crowd.

	"I don't believe this," Soun sobbed.

	Akane walked into the training hall, looking around the room. She

spotted her father and came over to him.

	"What's wrong?" she asked.

	"Look at this!" Soun wailed, sweeping his arm.

	Akane surveyed the large group of spectators gathered.

	"Wow," she said, "I guess Nabiki's turned this into a big event."

	Nabiki came over to Akane.

	"Hey Akane," she said, "care to make a wager? Odds on Ranma are two to
 
one!"

	"You shouldn't be taking bets Nabiki," Akane advised. "Everyone knows

Ranma always beats Kuno."

	"But Ranma's going to fight with a boken this time," Nabiki pointed

out. "Besides, with seven to one odds people are willing to take a risk."

	"A boken?" Akane asked, puzzled.

	Nabiki nodded.

	Now why would he be using a boken? she asked herself.

				* * * * *

	Washu and Ryoko appeared in front of the Masaki home. They looked

at the house, open mouthed. Huge cuts had dug into the wood, windows were

torn or smashed, and the lawn was torn up.

	"Uh oh," said Washu. "Who let him loose?"

	"What the heck is this?" cried Ryoko.

	They watched as a huge man came through the walls, his blade swinging

at anything and everything.

	"He's wrecking the house!" Ryoko yelled, stepping forward.

	Washu put her arm up in front of Ryoko to stop her.

	"What?" asked Ryoko. "He's gonna wreck it!"

	"Look," Washu said, pointing to the steps up to the shrine.

	Ryoko looked where Washu was pointing and saw Tenchi running down the

steps, carrying his sword.

	"Tenchi shouldn't have to fight alone," Ryoko said.

	"He should be okay," Washu replied.

	I didn't think he'd be able to use the sword, she thought.

	"Besides, I want to see what happens."

				* * * * *

	As Ranma walked into the training hall, he heard cheering. He was

surprised to see all the people who had come to watch. Nabiki was standing 

in the center of the hall. At the other end of the training hall, Kuno 

entered.

	"Why must all these people observe?" Kuno asked.

	"When they heard they could see Blue Thunder in action, I couldn't

stop them," Nabiki winked.

	Kuno grinned.

	"Well then," Kuno said, stepping into the center of the hall, "I shant 

dissapoint them."

	Ranma looked around nervously.
	
	"Are you fighting or aren't you?" Nabiki asked in an irritated tone.

	Ranma nodded and walked to the center of the hall.

	"Alright," Nabiki said. "The fight isn't over until one of you

concedes, or is unable to fight any longer. Are you ready?"

	Kuno and Ranma nodded.

	"Fight!"

				* * * * *

			And so endeth the fifth part...

				* * * * *

Allan's Notes:

Maybe we shouldn't end these on cliffhangers all the time... oh well.

It seems to be taking us longer to do these than it used to. Oh well.

We're having fun here, so sue us.

Character Bios:

Guy with sword:         One clue this time: He's from Lodoss.

Ukyo:                   Yet another of Ranma's fiancees. She runs an 

				Okonomiyaki shop (sp?) and carries a HUGE spatula

				with her everywhere. Okonomiyaki = japanese pizza or

				close enough)

					* * * * *

Shamus's Notes:

Well, we got it done. (and Al's notes suck :P)

After something like a MONTH AND A HALF we got the f*cking thing DONE!!!

More WILL be coming, we're back on track again :)

The official GiG homepage: http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/1525/

We're getting a PLOT now.... woo hoo! We've just gotta finalize the outline 

for the next 3 parts, and this thing looks like it's gonna end soon :) - 

However, we don't want to sacrifice anything just to get it out quick/in 

minimal parts, so it MAY go on for more than 3 more :)