Freezer Muyo! By Disgruntled Bubba Bubba's Beef 4: Deja vu, The Feeling You've Read an Author's Note Before... I'm BAAAAaaaak! Welcome to the fourth installment of Freezer Muyo! My personal favorite fanfic series, but then again, I may be biased. The purpose of this chapter is to get us through the Original Dragonball series, you know, back when Goku was just a Chibi ^_^ There won't be a lot of Tenchi material in this one, but it's Guaranteed to have Lord Kasuhito in it, and, in a barely noticible cameo, Ryoko! Yes Ryoko, that beautiful demon and subject of oh so many hot, sweatty fanboy dreams. Not that I would know anything about that... *AHEM* Anywho...I've decided, for length reduction purposes, to skip over a bit of the Dragonball history; ergo, it is the purpose of this Beef to fill in the blanks for all the Tenchi fans, and the DBZ fans who need a brush up. The Dragonball series begins with Son Goku, an extrordinarily powerful boy with a brown monkey tail, who lives in the woods by himself. He was raised by his Grandfather, Son Gohan, who is slain by a Giant Monkey monster before the series begins. Goku inherited the Nyoi-bo and the Four Star Dragonball from Son Gohan. A while after Son Gohan's death, Goku, age six, meets Bulma, a sixteen year old girl genius and dragonball hunter. She convinces the naive young Goku to accompany her on her dragonball quest. Along the way, they meet many other people including: Kamesennin, aka Master Roshi, a perverted old martial arts master; Yamucha, the desert bandit; Oolong, a cowardly, perverted shape-shifting pig in a Chinese uniform; Puar, a floating, shape-shifting cat companion to Yamucha; the Ox King, a former student of Master Roshi and friend of Son Gohan; and Ox King's daughter and Goku's betrothed, Chi-Chi. Yamucha and Puar wanted to steal the Dragonballs from Bulma, Goku and Oolong; however, they all become friends and allies as they are forced to save the world from the evil and comical Emporer Pilaf. Pilaf wanted to use the Dragonball's wish granting power to conquer the world, but Oolong interupted him at the last second and wished for a pair of panties. Thus, with the world saved, and the Dragonballs inert for a year, Goku parted with his friends to train under Master Roshi. However, Son Goku wasn't the only one who wanted to train under Kamesennin. Enter Krillin, the short, bald, noseless, shifty-eyed monk with six dots marking his forehead. At first, Krillin was a crafty little bastard (I liked him better that way U_U), but Son-kun's pure heartedness rubbed off on him, and the two became best friends. Around this time, another character takes up residence in the Kame house... Her names are Kashumi and Ranchi. Every time she sneezes, she switches personality and appearances. Kashumi is a violent, trigger happy, blonde bombshell, and Ranchi is a completly spaced out ditz (worse than Mihoshi) with black hair. So, Master Roshi trains Goku and Krillin and schools them in the Kamesennin style of fighting, time passes, the Dragonballs once again become active, and Goku decides to hunt for them again. Oh, damn... I went too far, crap!! This instalation will start just before the Dragonballs become active again. Anywho, that's enough history for now, let's get on with the story ^_^ !/ Purists Note: PLEASE realize that this is an EXTREMELY watered down version of the Dragonball series. The events from the series in this fic took at least 10 years real time before completion. Obviously, I can't fit a decade of work into a volume this small, so I'm only going to breifly hit on the major events of the series and the places where the Tenchiverse and DBZ intersect. To get the whole story on Original Dragonball, go to your local B Dalton or Waldenbooks and look in their graphic novel section. There you can find, in english and only slightly edited, the Pilaf series and the series where Krillin comes in. Also, if you go to your local Suncoast, or other major video store, and look in the Anime section, you can find the first season of the TV series (HIGHLY edited), and three of the theatrical movies (not so edited); however, only one of these movies (The Sleeping Princess in Devil's Castle) actually fits in with the rest of the series. PLEASE do NOT try to download these movies and episodes unless you're downloading the relatively inacessible Japanese subtitled versions! The anime market needs our support or else they will stop importing anime period! To get the rest of the Dragonball series, go to planetnamek.com and go to the manga downloads. There they have hand translated versions of the mangas that are currently unavailable. Now, I realize that I told you downloading is evil, then showed you where to download things one sentance later; but consider this, just becuase you have the free version, doesn't release you from you obligation to support your favorite anime dealer when they release a version of the same thing that you have to pay for. And, finally, yes; I do personally go out and buy the english versions of any free downloads I have and you should too! Anywho... Disclaimer time! Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball or Tenchi Muyo... Though I wish I did LOL Really though, Pioneer and Toei Animation and all the rest of those companies and individuals and whatnot own the rights to just about everything in this fic. I'm making no money here, so PLEASE don't sue me. Reader discretion is advised due to strong language and potential gutter talk. Death is the healthy alternative to enjoying this fic. Episode Four: No Need for Son Goku! The morning air was pleasently tepid when Son Goku woke. The waves of the sea gently lapped at the shore of Master Roshi's miniscule island; the wind softly rustled the leaves of the three palm trees. The small boy sat up on his palette and let forth a huge yawn. He rubbed his eyes and twitched his tail as he put on the orange gi of the turtle school, strapping the Nyoi-bo to his back. "Man, I'm starving," Goku quietly commented, as he clutched his growling stomach and padded into the Kame House's kitchen. He headed striaght for the fridge, makeing no notice of Kamesennin, who was asleep at the table, face down in a hentai magizine. Opening the refridgerator door he removed a light breakfast from the shelves: an entire ham on the bone, a cooker full of white rice left over from the previous night, a loaf of bread, two liters of orange juice, and enough leftover noodles to feed three people. "Gotta eat light, this morning," Goku comment to himself aloud, laughing and setting the food on the table next to Master Roshi. Master Roshi shifted and muttered "Puff Puff" in his sleep. It didn't take much much longer than five minutes for Son Goku to devour the entire tableful of sustinance. After that task was accomplished, he stood, exited the Kame House, and did some stretches and excersizes as the sun glinted in the windows of the pink building. "Kinto!" Goku shouted into the air upon completing his morning activities. With it's normal rythmic thrum, the Kinto cloud swooped from the sky and hovered above the ground in front of Goku. Climbing on top of the small, magical, yellow cloud, which had been a gift from Kamesennin, he said, "Alright, Kinto, let's go see Bulma and borrow the Dragon Radar." The Kinto obligingly streaked off towards the Western Capitol, leaving it's usual yellow streak behind in the air. It didn't take long for Kinto to arrive at the large, domed headquarters of Capsule Coporation, the place Bulma called home. Son Goku lept from the cloud and landed before the front doors. They were locked, but Goku effortlessly forced them open, without really noticing that they were irrepairibly damaged now. The normally bright Capsule Corp lobby was dark and empty. Light streaming in from the small, high windows cast long shadows across the room. He looked around confused, before he heard a mechanical hum from behind him. Leaping several feet forward, he turned aroud and drew the Nyoi-bo, the mystical weapon inherited from his Grandpa, from it's holster slung across his back. "Who are you, and what are you doing in Bulma's house," Goku demanded, finding himself face to face with a large security robot, who Goku assumed was a monster. "Drop your weapon and leave the premesis immediately," the security robot demanded in a dry, metallic voice, assuming Goku was a burglar. "If you want my Nyoi-bo then you're gonna have to fight me for it!" Goku declared before taking a solid swing at the robot's head. The Nyoi-bo connected with the robot with a large clang; the metal breifly squealed as the neck joint wrenched apart, sending the robot's head across the room, crushed like a soda can. The electrical wires in the neck sparked and fizzled as the robot's body slumped to the ground and powered down. "Humm," Goku muttered, rubbing the back of his head "I guess he wasn't as strong as he looked..." Suddenly, the lights flashed on. "Son-kun! What the Hell are you doing!?" Bulma yelled from behind Son Goku. She was standing on the staircase that led from the Breifs family living area to the Capsule Corp lobby. Her long blue hair was pulled into a pony tail on the side of her head. She was dresses in a pink sleeping shirt with her name and the numbers "01" emblazoned on it. In her hand she held the pistol that she had shot Goku with when they first met. Of course, the bullets would be even less effective on him now than they were back then, but the bullets would do against your average theif. "Hi Bulma!" Goku exclaimed cheerily, "Can I borrow the Dragon Radar?" The Dragon Radar was Bulma's first invention. It is a hand held device that scans the world for the Dragonballs and displays their position on a map screen. It makes finding those seven treasures much more practical. "Ne, Bulma? Can I?" Goku called, impatiently. Bulma sighed, setting down the gun, "Sometimes I wonder why I don't shoot you." "Cause that would really hurt," Goku innocently replied. "That's my point," she sighed, "Come on, it's in here." ########## Meanwhile, at the Kame House, Kamesennin woke with a yawn. Noticing The emptied dishes on the table as he wiped the drool from his chin, he thought, "Goku must already be awake." He stood behind the table and proceded to do his morning stretches before wandering to the refridgerator to see if Son Goku had left anything for the rest of the house. He chuckled as he opened the door, remembering the first time that he had given the young boy access to his fridge. Who would have known the boy could devour three months worth of sustenence in one meal? Looking about the interior of the fridge, he noticed just enough food to feed Krillin and Kashumi a decent breakfast and a couple six packs of beer. Roshi opted for the beer. It was then that Krillin wandered into the kitchen. "Good morning, Maser Roshi," Krillin said, rubbing the sleep from his left eye, "Where's Goku this morning? He wasn't in his bed when I woke up." "I don't know, Krillin," Kamesennin motioned to Goku's breakfast dishes, "He's already eaten, and I don't fell his ki outside, so he's probably looking for the Dragonballs again. It has been a little while since Pilaf tried to make his wish, you know." "Really?" Krillin said, "I hadn't realized we'd been training that long." "Sure have, son," Master Roshi said sipping his beer, "Time flies when you're having fun, ne!" Krillin shot a look Roshi through narrowed eyes, "Yeah, whatever." "Hmmph! Kids today... Absolutely no respect for classic teaching technique. Ox-king said my lessons were his fondest memories." "Even the part where you tied him to the tree full of angry bees?" "The boy has an exremely high pain tolerance." Roshi nodded, "Hard headed too..." Krillin took his food from the refridgerator, "Anyway, what are you gonna teach me today?" "Well, Krillin," Kamesennin said, "Now that you managed to move the boulder outside, I just don't have anymore techniques to teach you. You can probably even use the Kamehameha if you remember the hand motions. Yep, the only thing I can do for you now is show you some excercises that will keep your strength up." "Really? Wow..." Krillin comented, "Nothing else to learn, huh? I guess could get Yamucha to teach me a few of his moves..." "Actually," Roshi said, "There are still two more people left in the world that can teach you a thing or two, and both of them are even stronger and faster than me." "You mean it, Master Roshi!?" "Sure do. One of them is a close friend of mine. We met a long time ago at an ancient Shinto shrine. His name is Lord Kasuhito." ########## Kasuhito was sitting in the office of the Masaki shrine, composing an after-breakfast haiku before beginning the morning chores. While he was contemplating the wording of the third line, the phone rang. "Hm, I wonder who that could be," he said, picking up the phone, "Hello, Masaki shrine." "Hi! This is Kamesennin, how have you been, Kasuhito-san?" "Ah, good morning, Roshi," Kasuhito replied, "I've been fine, thank you. It's been quite a while since we last spoke, hasn't it?" "Yes," Roshi replied, "It's been too long. I believe the last time we saw each other was when Achika was born. How is she?" "She is also fine," Kasuhito smiled, "I have to give her the day's lessons in a moment." "I see. Well, I have a student of my own over here who's shown great potential, but I've taught him everything I know already. His name is Krillin. How'd you like to take a crack at him? I think that he could surpass me with your help." "Sounds interesting," Kasuhito replied, "But you know that I'm not in the habit of taking students... Perhaps you two could come visit, then I can get a good look at the boy." "Great!" Kamesennin said, "I'll see you later then." "Good bye, Roshi," Kasuhito finished, hanging up the phone. Just then, Kasuhito felt a tugging on his sleeve. Looking down, he saw his young daughter, Achika, smiling up at him. "Is it time for lessons yet, Otou-san?" the eight year old asked demurely. "Yes, Achika," Kasuhito responded, "Let's start today by sweeping the shrine." ########## A few hours later, a bright yellow Capsule Corp hoverjet set down at the base of the stairs to the Masaki shrine. Bulma, Kamesennin and Krillin stepped out and Bulma re-encapsulated it shortly thereafter. "Thanks for the ride, Bulma," Kamesennin said. "Whatever," Bulma sneered, still a little miffed about the rude awakening that Goku gave her that morning. "Sometimes I think you guys just use me for my brains and money," she commented, disgruntled. "Don't be silly!" Master Roshi said, "We like you big tits too!" Roshi began to drool from the corner of his mouth and flex his fingers at Bulma's chest. She promptly kicked him between his eyes. "You hentai," Bulma grunted, beginning to climb the steps, "Come on, Krillin, let's get this over with." ########## Meanwhile, at the the Red Ribbon Army headquarters, Commander Red lovingly stroked his dragonball. The stout man smiled broadly and adjusted his eyepatch. Soon, with all of Red Ribbon's resources at his command, he would surely have all the dragonballs... Then, at last, his lifetime aspiration would be realized! And then he he have the world! He laughed maniacally. ########## Goku was extatic. It wasn't even lunch time yet and he already had a dragonball. It wasn't the four star ball, though; of all the dragonballs, that was the one he wanted the most... that was the one that his grandpa had given to him. "Maybe it will be the next one," Goku smiled, checking the Dragon Radar. In a few minutes, Kinto cloud had arrived at the site of the next dragonball, and Son Goku jumped off of the small yellow cloud, landing in front of the tori of a small moutain shrine. "Wow," Goku said, rubbing the back of his head, "I wonder where they keep the dragonball?" Goku walked up to the door to the shrine office and slid it open. He immediately recoiled and fell onto his backside as he was ambushed by a tall elderly man, and found himself looking down the wrong end of a bokken. Just then, Krillin appeared at Lord Kasuhito's side. "Goku!" Krillin said, "What are you doing here?" "You know this boy, Krillin?" the old man spoke in a somber, even tone. "Hai, Kasuhito-sama. He's a friend of mine, and Master Roshi trained him too. His name is Son Goku." "Hi Krillin!" Goku said as Kasuhito put away his bokken, "What are you doing here?" Krillin smirked and narrowed his eyes, "Kasuhito-sama is a friend of Master Roshi. He agreed to train me since Master Roshi has nothing more to teach me." "Wow!" Goku shouted, turning to Kasuhito, "Could you train me once I finish finding the dragonballs!" "Hmmm," Kasuhito said, summing Son Goku up, "I don't think so. If Roshi was done with you, he would have told me. There must be more that he wants to teach you, and I trust his judgement." Goku looked down at his feet, "Oh, okay..." "Please come in, Son Goku; have some tea." "Hai!" Goku said, perking up. The three sat at the table in the middle of the room, and Kasuhito poured three cups of tea. "So, Goku, what brings you here?" Kasuhito asked. "I'm looking for the dragonballs," Goku said, drinking the entire cup of tea in a single swig, "The Dragon Radar said you had one here, see?' Kasuhito sipped his tea and looked at the Radar. "I see. Well, I don't know where it is. If I had found it, I would have brought it into the shine. If you can find it you're welcome to have it. I don't need it myself." "Really!" Goku said, jumping up and down, "Yataa!! Arigatou!!" Goku rushed outside to search for the dragonball. Kasuhito closed his eyes and sipped his tea. "He is a very excitable boy, isn't he, Krillin?" Kasuhito commented. "You have no idea," Krillin replied. Outside, Goku was searching areas at random... Lifting rocks, digging through piles of leaves, peering under the porch all in a frantic attempt to find the dragonball. After strowing the last pile of neatly swept leaves, he was hit over the head with a broomstick. "OW!" Goku said, turning around to see an angry Achika, "What did you do that for?" "Look at the mess you've made!" Achika scowled, "Do you know how long it took me to sweep those leaves?" Goku looked around, seeing that he had effectively undone all of Achika and Kasuhito's morning work in just a matter of minutes. "Oh, oops. I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry, I was so busy looking for the dragonball..." "You mean this?" Achika said, holding out the three star ball. "That's it! Can I have it?" Goku said excitedly. "No. Not unless you put all the leaves back the way they were first," Achika said folding her arms. "No problem!" Son Goku said, snatching the broom from Achika. The young boy began to sweep the leaves with lightning speed. He moved like a small orange-clad blur until, just minutes after starting, all the leaves were in their proper place. "Here you go," Goku said, handing the broom back to an astounded Achika. "Wow!" the young girl said, "You move pretty fast." "Thanks!" Goku said rubbing the back of his head and grinning, "Can I have that dragonball now?" "Sure," Achika said, handing him the small orb. "Arigatou," Goku said before shouting, "Kinto!" The Kinto cloud swept down to Goku's feet, allowing him to jump aboard before tearing off through the sky. Just then, Kasuhito slid open the shrine door. "Are you ready for today's lessons, Achika?" he asked his young daughter. "Hai, Otou-san," she replied. "Come in then," he smiled, "Krillin will be studying with you today." Upon reentering the shrine, he instructed Krillin and Achika to sit at the table. He gave Achika some reading to do, then turned his attentions to Krillin. "Are you ready to begin your training, Krillin?" Kasuhito asked, the light glinting across his glasses. "Yes sir!" Krillin exclaimed eagerly. "Good," Kasuhito said, placing a large stack of books in front of Krillin, "Start reading." Krillin fell backwards. "Nani? What are these??" Krillin asked. "Sun Tzu's 'Art of War', Musashi Miyamoto's 'Book of Five Rings', and several of my personal essays and haiku on the history of this Shinto shrine." "But, Kasuhito-sama, I'm not Shinto, I'm a Buddhist..." "No one is perfect, Krillin." ########## It was not long before Son Goku had his first clash with the minions of the Red Ribbon army over the dragonballs. Goku, of course, throunced the lowly thugs, prompting the army to hire the world's most lethal assasin, the dreaded Tao Pie Pie. Shortly thereafter, Goku and Tao Pie Pie clashed in battle over the dragonballs at the base of Korin Tower, the sacred structure in the holy land that was reputedly the home to the God of Martial Arts. Goku was, for the first time in his life, overpowered and defeated by a single man. Tao Pie Pie left Goku wounded and unconcious, stole his dragonballs and left him for dead. Fortunantly, and unbenownest to Tao Pie Pie, Goku had hidden the four-star ball in his shirt, preventing Tao Pie Pie from stealing it and simultaneously sheilding Goku's heart from the assasin's final blow. Upon recovering, Goku decided to climb Korin Tower and drink the legendary Ultra-Holy Water at the top. The Ultra-Holy Water was rumored to phenominally increase the strength of anyone who drank it. And so, with the hope that the Water would increase his strength enough to reclaim his dragonballs, Son Goku began to scale the tower. But meanwhile... ########## It'd been a couple weeks since Krillin had started to train under Kasuhito's aegis, and the small bald monk was enjoying it. He was well feed by Kasuhito-sama's wife and he and Achika were becoming good friends. However, he didn't quite understand Kasuhito's methods. Ever since he arrived, it was nothing but sweeping leaves, reading books and a few philosphical debates. In fact, Krillin was pretty sure that he hadn't done any physical training at all, with the exception of the morning katas that Kamesennin had taught him to do. Krillin didn't really mind, though. It reminded him of his days in the Orin temple, the monastery where he was raised. The books that Kasuhito had assigned to him were quite interesting and very enlightening... Of course, Kasuhito himself was quite enlightening as well, and Krillin found that Kasuhito had opened him up to new veiws and truths about the universe. It was an altogether pleasent existence, Krillin was simply beginning to wonder if Kasuhito would ever teach him ANYTHING physical. So it was with a relaxed mind that Krillin entered the shrine office after finishing his chores. It was time for their pre-lunch discussion, but as Krillin slid the shrine door open, Kasuhito was nowhere in sight. "Watch out, Krillin," Krillin heard Kasuhito's voice from behind him. In the next instant, Krillin found himself bouncing into the courtyard on his head. "Oooww... Why did you do that Kasuhito-sama?" Krillin asked, rubbing his head as got to his feet. "Do you think that the enemy will stop to tell why he attacks you?" Kasuhito said calmly as he stepped into the courtyard, "Defeat your opponent first, then you may ask him questions!" "Hai!" Krillin said, as he took the kamesennin-style's signature fighting stance. The short, bald monk lunged towards the elderly preist, who showed no sign of moving. As Krillin reared back for the punch, Kasuhito deftly stepped foreward and lifted his knee into the boy's stomach. "No good, Krillin," Kasuhito scolded as Krillin lifted himself from the ground, holding his abdomen, "Your form was good, but your follow through is too slow. Well, I can see I'm going to have to start you with the basic patterns." "Does this mean no more poetry?" Krillin coughed. "Don't be silly," Kasuhito said, "Your mind still requires training as well. One cannot neglect the mind to cultivate the body." ########## And so, Krillin embarked upon the next level of Kasuhito's training. Son Goku; after four days of training with Korin, the feline god of martial arts; was allowed to drink the fabled Ultra Holy Water, only to find out that it was the training that increased his ki, not the water itself. Upon decending from the tower, Goku faced off against Tao Pie Pie once again. Though this time, Tao Pie Pie was killed, blown to peices by his own grenade. After accomplishing this, Goku raided Red Ribbon Army's headquarters, completely obliterating their forces and salveging their dragonballs. However, their was still one dragonball left for Goku to claim. However, there was a problem. The ball did not register on the Dragon Radar. It was as if it had fallen from the face of the Earth. Goku took the Radar back to Bulma, thinking that it was broken; however, such was not the case. It was then that Master Roshi sudgested that Goku visit Uranai Baba, the world famous fortune teller and Roshi's big sister. And so, Yamucha, Puar, and Son Goku traveled to Baba's palace in the desert to find the location of the remaining dragonball. Krillin would have accompanied them, but Kasuhito was insistent that Krillin remain at the shrine and continue his training. After arriving at Uranai-Baba's palace Yamucha and Goku found that they had to defeat Baba's five supernatural warriors before she would reveal the location of the missing dragonball. In the end, Yamucha defeated three of them before being defeated by the fighting mummy, leaving Goku to defat the mummy and the final warrior, a ghostly reincarnation of Son Gohan. With the defeat of Goku's grandpa, Uranai-Baba located the final ball and Goku made his wish. With this accomplished, Goku returned to Roshi, asking what he should do to prepare for the Tenkaiichi Boudoukai, or World Martial Arts Tournament. Roshi instructed him to run completely around the planet on foot, and if he could get back in the three years between then and the Boudoukai, then Goku would be ready for the Tournament. Yamucha decided to train under Kamesennin for those three years as well. But elsewhere... ########## Krillin stood outside the cave in the woods behind the shrine. He shivered as a freezing wind blew from the behind the bars that locked the entrance shut. Though it was not the cold alone that caused him to shake... but the immense ki he felt within the cave. "Krillin! Boy!" Kasuhito sternly called, startling the small monk. "Kasuhito-sama!" Krillin exclaimed. "Why did you come to this place, Krillin? It is forbidden to come to this cave," Kasuhito stated, gravely. "I felt this enormous ki," Krillin said, "What's in there anyway?" "An ancient demon sleeps there," Kasuhito replied, "Many years ago, it descended from the heavens and burned everything, terrorizing my people, until a powerful samurai rode down on a ship like a dragon and defeated the demon. That samurai is Achika's ancestor, Yosho." "Wouldn't that make him your ancestor too?" Krillin questioned. "You could say that," Kasuhito replied, "But the important thing is that Yosho made it the purpose of this shrine and his descendants to watch over the sleeping demon, and make sure she doesn't escape until she can be vanquished by a warrior of sufficient power. By training at this shrine, Krillin, you too have accepted this duty." "Gee, thanks," Krillin replied through narrowed eyes. "Enough, Krillin, get back to your chores. No need to dawdle around here, there will be plenty of demons in your future." ########## There you have it! My longest installment to date! Check in next time for "No Need for Demons!" in which I'll finish out the Dragonball series with the final two Boudoukai's and the epic Picollo saga! That's right, the debut of Teinshinhan, Chou-tzu, and Picollo next instalment! And after that, we'll move on to the REAL good stuff as we might finally get to see Tenchi himself! Yep, the world's most elligible boy might be just two fics away! Be there! Untill then, send Questions, comments and constructive criticism to celtic_wolfman_42@yahoo.com See ya on the mailing list ^_^ !/