I got the idea for this story while I was switching between Tenchi in Tokyo on Cartoon Network and DisMissed on MTV. The idea is pretty simple and I was suprised that nobody else thought of it yet. It's Tenchi's ultimate chance to choose fairly, and in the perfect setting too. Anyhoo, Tenchi Muyo is property of AIC and Pioneer and DisMissed is property of MTV. Enjoy! You Are DisMissed The Masaki household shook with yet another explosion. Not suprisingly, Ryoko and Aeka were at it again. They seemed to get worse everyday, always starting out with just some colorful language, then getting more frisky and finally the house turned into a warzone. KABOOOOOOOMMM! Sasami shook her head. She couldn't watch television properly with those two always blowing things up. The little girl was getting quite frustrated. "When will they ever stop?", she said to the cabbit in her lap. "Tenchi is mine, priss!", she heard from her seat. "And poor Tenchi caught up in the middle of it", Washu said to her, just coming out of her lab. The little genius was also getting fed up. "But then again, in a way he is the cause." "How's that Washu?" "Well clearly he's either blind, stupid or gay. Two beautiful women fall at his feet and fight over him everyday. He can have both if he wanted to, ya know. It seems that he just doesn't acknowledge the fact." "I don't think he's gay. It would be a little simpler if they wanted to share Tenchi, Washu. But they obviously don't or they would be working together to get him. Instead they're fighting." "Well, he has to make up his mind and pick one soon. Knowing Tenchi though, that would be impossible." There was silence for a moment. Ryo-oki yawned in Sasami's lap and stretched. She accidentally disturbed the remote while doing so and the channel changed. Niether of the girls realized this, being to deep in thought, until they heard the uncommon opening music of a show they never saw before. Sasami moved to change the channel but the opeing scenes caught her eye. Scenes of people in swimsuits, a girl and a guy making out in a hot tub, a girl taking off her bikini top, a guy oiling her up and other things an 8 year old shouldn't be able to see. Washu looked on too, her curiosity growing. "Today on MTV's DisMissed" Washu quietly sat down next to Sasami and they both watched intently. As the show progressed, and the guy got into the hot tub with two girls, Washu felt an idea start to grow in her head. With the ending words, "You are dismissed.", the idea manifested itself into a "Hmmm". Washu looked at Sasami, who looked back at her. A smile crept across their faces. ^-^ =-=-=-=-At the dinnertable-=-=-=-= Dinner was as usual. Aeka and Ryoko had each of Tenchi's arms and Tenchi was miserably trying to calm them down. The rest of the table tryed to ignore them. "Aeka! Let go of MY Tenchi!" "Your Tenchi? When Tenchi starts to take interest in whores, will he be your Tenchi!" "He'll have more of an interest in me than in an tight, uppity, bitch like you!" "You take that back!" "Bite me." Aeka and Ryoko stood, they're power level and anger becoming visible. Ryoko made the first shot, a small energy blast. Aeka had her forcefield up already. The blast reflected off the forcefield and onto the table. Everyone else at the table suddenly stopped ignoring them. The smoke cleared and everyone's attention was drawn to the dinner. Sasami stood, shaking with anger. "MY duck.", she said gritting her teeth. She referred to the, ruined, fried duck in the center of the table. Mihoshi and Kiyone made an oooh-your-in-trouble sound. Sasami slowly wiped some rice that had splatted on her face off, consequent of the blast. Ryoko and Aeka's power levels dropped, seeing Sasami seething like that. "My duck.", she repeated. "The duck that I worked on for 3 hours to get perfect. YOU ruined my duck. YOU BOTH ruined my duck." Both culprits' mouths dropped, sad that they ruined her duck, and a bit frightened at her sudden angry attitude. "Sa-Sasami, I'm awfully sorry." "Yes, Sasami I didn't do it on purpose, it was that demon's fault." "Hey, you had as much to do with it as me." "Hmmph, I think not. It was YOUR energy blast." Washu now rose slowly, seeming angry. She seemed much more intimidating in her adult form. And Washu rarely was in her adult form. "You both ruined the damned duck. This has gone on far enough." "But Miss Washu, it was Ryoko's blast that ruined the duck-" "FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID DUCK! You two. Your stupid fighting over Tenchi is destroying this house, in which you are guests. I've allowed it to go on for too long. It's going to stop." "Ummm, Miss Washu...", Tenchi said weakly. "Ohhh don't you start. Your a part of the problem as much as those two." "Me?" "Yes you. You won't ever make up your freakin' mind." "Well now, Tenchi, we're going to make you make up your freaking mind!", Sasami said, calmed down and proud that she cussed. "Huh?" "What do you mean Sasami?", Aeka said, intrigue in her voice. "You three are going on TV!" =-=-=-=-The Living Room, 2 weeks later-=-=-=-= "I'm sure glad they gave us a copy of the show." Sasami said happily to Washu while puttijng a tape in the VCR. "Yep, now we can enjoy it anytime we want. Right, Tenchi?" "Uh huh." Tenchi sat between Washu and Sasami. He didn't feel like recounting that day, but they made him. Kiyone and Mihoshi walked in as Sasami hit play. "Oooh, this is the tape of the show when you picked-", Mihoshi started. "Turn the volume up Sasami.", Kiyone said cutting her off. The tape started to roll. 3,2,1 "Today on MTV's DisMissed, a genuine Japanese stud chooses between a sexy space pirate and cute crown princess. Will he choose the Ravishing Ryoko, or Amazing Aeka?" (Mihoshi squealed with delight at their use of words.) "Uh, Hi my name is Tenchi Masaki." At the bottom a little blue box said 'Tenchi, 17 Student Okayama, Japan.' "I like to umm, grow carrots and follow baseball. I live in a house with 5 girls. I look for a girl that- well I don't look for girls because they seem to come to me. Gosh, I hope that doesn't sound concieted. Anyway, I hope in the end I will still be breathing." ("Thank God I am", Tenchi thought.) There was a flash across the screen and Aeka appeared, looking directly into the camera. "Um, oh, hello.(Bows)I am Aeka Jurai, the first crown princess and heir to the throne of Jurai. I have many skills that would take up time to list. I look for many qualities in a man. First, bravery, courage and chivalry. ("Which all mean the same thing", Kiyone commented.) Then intellignece, manners, and good looks. He has to be a very fitting person for a princess. And Tenchi is a very fitting person. Just incase I see the demon and Tenchi get to close, I have this 'Time-out' card. (Tenchi sighed and put a hand over his face.) Another flash and Ryoko smiled into the camera. "Hi there! I'm Ryoko MASAKI. Infamous space pirate, future wife of Tenchi. There's gonna be no competition between me and that prissy princess. I'm all anyone needs in a woman. Aren't I?" The camera seemed to nod. She winked. ("Well, she certainly has charisma." Washu said.) "Everything I look for in a guy is in Tenchi." (Kiyone broke out and laughed. That's pretty sad, she thought.) "He's obviously going to pick me so the princess should just give up." Another flash and Ryoko and Aeka are on a boardwalk walking towards eachother. Ryoko is dressed up hotly in a tight, low cut, red, leather blouse and black leather pants. Aeka doesn't look too bad herself, wearing a white, sleeveless shirt and a very short blue miniskirt. ("She told me they made her wear that", Sasami whispered.) They walk towards eachother, glaring. "Good luck, Aeka", Ryoko said, elaborating on every syllable of her name, making her sound snotty. "You'll need it." "Hmph, don't be suprised if I walk out holding Tenchi's hand." "I doubt it" "Well let's see then." They turned their backs on eachother. And Tenchi uneasily walked towards them. "Uh, hello, (gulp) Aeka and Ryoko." "Tenchi!", and Ryoko flew into his arms. Aeka patiently peeled her off of him and bowed. "So where are we going first?", he asked one arm hooked with Ryoko's the other with Aeka's. "We are going on MY date first, Lord Tenchi.", Aeka said looking straight at Ryoko. "Yeah. Some date it will be.", Ryoko replied meeting the glare. The walked off and the screen flashed once again. Now they were at an amusement park. "Great, I love amusement parks!", Tenchi said looking around. Aeka smiled and Ryoko shrugged it off. "Which RIDE do you want to go on first, Tenchi?", Ryoko said seductively in his ear. "The teacups or me?" Tenchi turned red with embarassment and Aeka turned red with anger. "Grrr...How about the rollercoaster? It's TWO seats to a car.", she said pointedly. "That sounds good, Aeka. I didn't know you liked rollercoasters." "Uh, I don't. But with you here, Lord Tenchi, how can I possibly feel afraid?" Ryoko gagged. "Don't worry Aeka I'll be with you." Ryoko pouted and followed them to the line. In fast-motion, they got on the coaster, Aeka sitting with Tenchi and Ryoko sitting gloomily in the car behind them, rode the coaster and got dizzy coming off. The fast-motion stopped and as soon as Aeka recovered from being dizzy she ran to a grabage can and barfed. ("Eeeeewwww") Ryoko leaned close next to Tenchi. "How'd you like the ride Ryoko?", Tenchi said. ("'How'd you like the ride?', really Tenchi couldn't you come up with anything better?", Washu commented. "No", he said feeling ashamed. "I couldn't think of anything.") "Eh, it was OK. I could take you on a wilder ride, ya know.", she said with a seductive tone and expression. Aeka had finished vomitting and popped a Tic-Tac in her mouth. She had seen Ryoko and Tenchi get close enough. "Ryoko, I think you need a time-out.", she said holding the red card up to the space pirate's face. Ryoko took the card from her, looked at Tenchi, and left, looking very much pissed. Tenchi and Aeka sat at a table and bought corndogs and curly fries. They nibbled at their food and Aeka looked at him dreamily. Tenchi sighed. ("Just so you know, I prepared what I was going to ask her to make the process of picking smoother" "Oh", Washu said.) "Aeka?" "Yes, Lord Tenchi?" "Do you love me?" "Yes, of course! With every fiber of my being I love you, Tenchi! ("How romantic!", Mihoshi squealed.) "Why?" There was silence for a moment and Aeka looked away. "Because. You are everything that I ever wanted in a man. You are all the qualities of Yosho and much better at the same time. I don't know what would happen to me without you." Tenchi furrowed his eyebrows for a fleeting moment but then smiled broadly. Aeka moved closer to him and their faces were an inch apart. Their eyes drifted closed slowly and their lips touched. They pulled back, and smiled. They did it again and this time with tongue. (Tenchi blushed at the scene and Washu put a hand over Sasami's eyes. "Darn", she whined. Kiyone squinted. "Is that, Ayeka? Actually coming in close contact with the opposite sex? How bizarre." "That was mean, Kiyone." "Shut up.") As they made out a little box, next to a 'Time-out' clock, popped up with Ryoko in it. "She probably didn't get anywhere. Knowing her, she would probably jump if he touched her hand. And knowing him he wouldn't even dare to do that." The 'Time-out' clock ran down to 20 seconds and finally Aeka and Tenchi parted, just as Ryoko walked to the table. "Did you have fun?", she said mockingly, being sure that nothing happened. "Yes.", Tenchi said quietly, looking knowingly at Aeka. She smirked. "Well anyway, it's time for MY date." The screen flashed for the 80 millionth time and now they were at the beach. "Well now, we're on Ryoko's date and I'm not sure of what to expect.", Tenchi said to the camera. "Ryoko is very unpredicatable. So far I'm leaning towards Aeka, with that kiss and her love confession. But I'll have to see what Ryoko has in store. I hope it's not dangerous." "Come on Tenchi, let's get in the water." The girls were in bikinis and Tenchi had his swim trunks on. Ryoko pulled him into the water and Aeka followed close. They splashed and it seemed that both girls were enjoying themselves until a big wave hit. The wave washed Aeka ashore but Tenchi and Ryoko were still in the water. Another wave hit and Ryoko held onto Tenchi. When the wave died, Tenchi realized that it had taken Ryoko's bikini top. (Tenchi blushed once more and a hand went over Sasami's eyes again.) Ryoko pressed up against Tenchi. His eyes grew along with something else but he tried to hide it. "Umm, Ryoko...your top." "Ohh I'm sorry, those darn waves.", she said unconvincingly and pressing more against him. A few drops of blood ran from his nose and hit the water. Aeka screamed, realizing what just happened. Ryoko sighed, found her top, and put it back on. "Priss", she said loudly. "I think you've interfered enough. Go take a time-out". She handed the fuming princess the red card and she furiously walked to someplace else. "Come with me", Ryoko said taking Tenchi's hand. Yet another damned flash across the screen and Tenchi and Ryoko entered the hot tub. ("Finally they get to the hottub", Sasami thought.) They soaked and Ryoko moved closer and closer. Tenchi picked this up. She was leaned in on him and looked into his eyes. "Ryoko" "Yes, Tenchi?" "Do you love me?" "What a stupid question. Of course I do! Do you think I want to fight and blow up the house, and go on TV shows for the hell of it? I do it for you. Your the reason I do anything at all!" Tenchi nodded, understandingly. "Why?" Ryoko looked straight into his eyes. "Because I do. Your the only man I have ever loved and the only man I ever will love. I feel like you were made for me. <3 ("Actually she was made to be Kagato's slave...", Washu felt the need to comment on that.) Tenchi opened his mouth to say something but Ryoko cut him off. "Now Tenchi I have a question for you." "Errr, yes?" "Do you love ME? Is this all worth it?" Tenchi tried to look away but Ryoko forced him to make eye contact. "Uh, well you see...I, I, I..." "You?" "I don't know." Ryoko's eyes opened in suprise and then closed in what seemed like a mix of hurt and anger. She finally looked away. "What do you mean?" "I mean that I can't decide whether I love you or Aeka..." "Soooo, you don't love either of us?" "No, no, no, no! It's...the opposite. I, well I(sigh)love both of you." Ryoko turned to face him again. (Kiyone sat up. "Well that's certainly...interesting.) She looked confused at first, but then sort of relieved. His face brightened as he saw hers do the same. And out of the blue Ryoko gave him the biggest cleavage-filled hug that she ever gave him. "Ryoko?" "Ohh, Tenchi I'm so...happy!" "Oh, good! But why? I mean, I didn't pick you over Ayeka like you wanted." "Still, atleast I know you love me even if me and the princess have to share your love. That's all we really wanted to know, Tenchi." She kissed him, with tongue, and this time he didn't try to pull away and his nose didn't bleed(that much). (Washu laughed happily. "Tenchi, could it be? Are you actually kissing her back?" Tenchi blushed and shrugged.) Ayeka ran to the hottub, just in time to see them kissing. "Lord Tenchi! How could you?! Did the devil-woman try to force herself on you?--" "Shove it, princess. He loves both of us." "The lack of morals that--wha?" Ayeka took a step back. "Both?" "Both. At least it's better than none." "I suppose your right. Lord Tenchi, is Ryoko's claim truthful?" Tenchi nodded and smiled bashfully. Ayeka took a breath. She too smiled and even grinned. Tenchi got out of the hottub and they kissed. Ryoko watched them for a little while and felt the old pang of jealousy. She got over it and decided with a relationship like this there is 'no need for jealousy'. "OK, I think you made up enough." Tenchi smirked and moved over to Ryoko and kissed her. "Psst, psst, kid", the producer called. "Err, yeah? I'm kinda busy." "Kid, you can't do that. You have to Dismiss SOMEONE! Hence, the name of the show." "Oh yeah. In that case I dismiss Sakuya." "WHAT?!" Sakuya jumped from behind the bushes and looked at Tenchi menacingly. ("How creepy!") "You can't do that Tenchiii! We were supposed to spend the summer together! Ahhhh!" The crazy bitch went running towards everyone like a maniac, but slipped on the slippery floor near the hottub. She hit her head on the floor and fell unconcious. Everyone else just shrugged. ("Ooooohhhh..." "That'll hurt...") "Well I guess that's ok. And that concussion she has'll be a great ratings booster", the producer gave Tenchi a thumbs up and went someplace else. Another flash and the credits were rolling. Sasami popped up from her seat and ejected the tape. "See Tenchi, wasn't that a great idea after all? You confessed your true feelings for them, now have TWO fiances, made Ayeka and Ryoko stop fighting AND got rid of Sakuya! And all you had to do was go on TV!" Tenchi put a hand over his face...the author had accomplished her goal. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-A/C-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Yes, yes I know the ending sucked a lot, but I started on a Saturday and ended on Monday, and the creative energy just didn't flow for 3 full days. And yes, I do think Sakuya is a crazy bitch even if she isn't "real". That's no excuse! -I cherish flames.- -1-