=============== Wheels of Fire! =============== Ayeka Takes a Ride - A "Tenchi Muyo" fan fiction ------------------------------------------------ (c)2001, Thomas McKee It was a day like any other day in the Masaki household. Our Lady Ayeka felt she a wonderful future laid out before her. No longer would she be beset with doubts and fears about whom Tenchi loved most of all and whom he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with. No longer would she have to worry that other women might take the man she loved away her. Best of all, no longer would she have to forsake her poise and royal dignity when her temper erupted on seeing any other woman make a move on him. The reason for Ayeka's happy frame of mind was that Tenchi had cast in his lot with her some months before. What prompted him to do so only Ayeka and her little sister knew. (To find out what exactly it was, go to "http://www.philosophysw.com/aeka-sm/entrance.html") She remembered as clearly as if it had happened only hours before how Tenchi proposed to her, how her heart jumped, stopped and did a Highland Fling simultaneously and how readily she had said, "Yes, I will! I will!" It goes without saying that so far she had never regretted it. It is true that for the first few weeks after Tenchi's proposal, Ayeka's fiercest rival for his heart, Ryoko, had become a mortal enemy to both Ayeka and Tenchi. Indeed, Ryoko had made very intricate plans to destroy them both and then herself, leaving a crater in the Earth ten thousand kilometres wide and eight thousand kilometres deep. Fortunately, as the months passed, Ryoko came to accept that she could not have Tenchi as a lover and she still had the friendship of everyone in the Masaki household. Ayeka's other main concern was getting the approval of her father, Emperor Azusa of Jurai. She felt she had a good case on her side, mainly that Tenchi was of Juraian royal blood like her original bridegroom-to-be, Tenchi's grandfather Yosho. On this particular day, as he and Ayeka were sharing a soda in a corner café near Tenchi's school, Tenchi noticed his fiancée was more restless than usual. When he asked her what the trouble was, Ayeka asked him, "Tenchi, do you know how long it's been since I first started living on Earth?" "Oh more than a year now -- a year and four months," replied Tenchi. "That's right," said Ayeka. "And in all that time I've rarely ventured outside the bounds of this household." "Well, wasn't there that time we all went to Tokyo for that TV show?" "True," said Ayeka, "and the day we all went to the beach... but what's really bugging me is this: I'm the Crown Princess of Jurai and I've been living on Earth all this time. Effectively I'm Jurai's unofficial ambassador to Earth." "Yes, I see what you're getting at," said Tenchi thoughtfully. "You want to find out more about this place." "Of course," replied Ayeka. "It's a small planet, but there's so much to see here. Besides, when I go back to Jurai, people will be asking me innumerable questions about Earth, and because I've seen so little of the place I won't be able to answer the half of them. I'll just look so stupid." "Do what Julius Caesar did when he wrote about Britain," suggested Tenchi. "Make up your stories." "For shame! You know I can't do that," Ayeka rebuked Tenchi. "No one of royal blood should invent stories about foreign people and places. It would bring disgrace upon myself and my family. Besides, gossip-mongers on Jurai have an uncanny ability to detect lies and half-truths in a matter of minutes. They've got a sixth sense that tabloid journalists on Earth would give their eye teeth for." "Well, couldn't you do some exploring right now on Ryo-oh-ki?" suggested Tenchi. Ayeka sighed. "No, I don't know how to pilot Ryo-oh-ki as I could Ryu-oh. And it would be asking too much of Ryoko to take me on board Ryo-oh-ki just so that I could go sight-seeing. In any case I'm afraid that incident with the nitro-glycerine is still too recent." (The details of that incident have been wrapped in secrecy in order to protect the author of this story.) "Well, there are still plenty of other means of transport..." began Tenchi. Ayeka's face suddenly brightened up. "Oh, that's true. I wonder if Nobuyuki will let me use his car." "What? Are you sure you know how to use it?" "I'm certain of it," said Ayeka, displaying a confidence that made Tenchi quite uneasy. "There's the steering wheel, the accelerator, the brakes and the clutch and gear control. There's nothing in a motor-car that wasn't on Ryu-oh." "But Ryu-oh didn't run on petrol," said Tenchi rather feebly. "Oh, that's just a minor detail..." Ayeka broke off in mid-sentence. One of Tenchi's classmates had wandered in. "Hey, Masaki-kun, you're treating your girl? You're going to need something hotter than a soda." It was impossible for anyone in Tenchi's school not to know when Shiratori-sempai was in the vicinity. He exuded confidence, brashness and arrogance. He had the reputation for being capable of any derring-do and whenever he had a gut feeling that something was beyond his capacity he had a way of bluffing his way out of it. He was also a known ladies' man. Now Tenchi wasn't exactly fond of Shiratori but neither did he dislike him and one had to be civil in the presence of a princess in any case. "I haven't seen you around for a while. What's new?" said Shiratori. "Oh, Ayeka's thinking of getting a car," said Tenchi. "So, she's going to get wheels to go with her looks?" said Shiratori. "A pink Mazda Capriccio would suit you, sweetie," he said to Ayeka. "What's that when it's at home?" asked Ayeka. "You don't know?" said Shiratori. "The Mazda Capriccio is a slick little convertible, craziest little thing on four wheels! Not your common or garden family saloon..." All this went right over Ayeka's head. "What's she like as a driver? Classy?" Shiratori asked Tenchi. "Actually, she still has to take driving lessons," said Tenchi. Shiratori was astonished! How could such a hot girl not even know how to drive? He had been brought up to regard a driver's licence as a birthright. Still, it went a long way to explaining her sparse knowledge of cars. "Hey, I could teach you how to drive someday," said Shiratori to Ayeka. "You could?" said Ayeka. Tenchi sensed that Shiratori was about to make his move on her... but then he had a notion that Shiratori could be taken down a peg or two. "Okay," said Tenchi, "You two can start lessons whenever you've got spare time." * * * * * * The next day the peaceful atmosphere of the Masaki household was disturbed by roaring and screeching. This time it wasn't Ayeka and Ryoko having yet another spat; the roaring was at a lower pitch than usual and the screeching at a higher pitch. It was Shiratori in an unrealistically flash car - a monster truck disguised as a sports car. "What? Another new car?" said Tenchi, coming out to meet Shiratori. I was expecting you to turn up in your Toyota Carina." "Oh, that went ages ago," said Shiratori. "This car suits me a lot better." 'Oh, it certainly does,' thought Tenchi as Ayeka was looking at the car as if it was something from a freak show. He wondered if it was such a good idea to let Shiratori give Ayeka driving lessons in that contraption. As Ayeka settled as best she could into the driver's seat Shiratori prattled on. "Now this machine's got a 425 horsepower with a 2,400 cubic engine. I mean it's not even legal to make cars like these in Japan..." "Is there any way to adjust the seat?" asked Ayeka. "I can't seem to get comfortable." "There's a lever underneath the seat," said Shiratori. Ayeka fumbled beneath the PVC-covered seat and felt something that resembled a lever. She pulled it up and felt herself fall backwards into a recumbent position as the catch holding the back of the seat was released. "Oops, that's not it." Ayeka then felt underneath the passenger seat and pulled another lever and the back of Shiratori's seat shot forward and Shiratori's head hit the dashboard. More fumbling underneath both seats followed and they managed to get their seats back into the proper position for driving. They then put on their seat belts at Shiratori's suggestion. It was a wise idea, thought Shiratori, since this lady had obviously never been behind the wheel of a car before. Shiratori decided to begin the lesson with the most basic instructions. "Okay, now, you see that key down there in the ignition? Turn it clockwise to start the engine." Ayeka followed the instruction and the engine started running. "Now, see that long, skinny pedal on the right? That's the accelerator. Press it down." Ayeka followed the instruction, the engine roared like a lion having molten iron poured over it. "Ryu-oh was never as noisy as this, even underwater. And why isn't the car moving?" asked Ayeka. "You've still got the handbrake on." "Oh, I see," said Ayeka as she released the handbrake. A cloud of mud and dust billowed up around the rear wheels and the car shot off towards the main road. Tenchi watched as the car disappeared and the noise of the engine faded into the distance. This was looking less and less like a good idea all the time. 'If he tries anything funny with her, I'll break his neck!' The power car cruised along the main road at top speed. "And this pedal on the left is the brake..." said Ayeka, pressing down on the said pedal but still keeping her other foot on the accelerator. The car went from 180 kilometres per hour to zero in just under three seconds and Shiratori felt his innards being thrust from his abdomen up to his collar bone. "I think I'm getting the hang of this machine," said Ayeka. This did not assure Shiratori at all. He had doubts that he would get out of this car in less than forty pieces. "What does this pedal in the middle do?" asked Ayeka. "That's the clutch," said Shiratori as calmly as he could. "You press that down when you change gear." "Right, so I push the clutch pedal," said Ayeka, pushing the middle pedal with her left foot while still keeping her right foot firmly on the accelerator. The car stood still whilst making a noise that only a jet fighter 'plane could match. "...Change up to top gear and take off the clutch." Shiratori was on the point of shouting, "No! Don't!" but it was too late. The car blazed away at even greater speed. You may be wondering, gentle reader, how Ayeka could remain so calm and collected while Shiratori's nerves were in the process of being shredded. The reason is that Ayeka was used to riding in vehicles that started off like bullets. In former days she quite often went into space on Ryu-oh and Jurai has a greater escape velocity than Earth. At length Shiratori mustered the wherewithal to cry out," Stop! For G-'s sake! You're going to-" Ayeka yanked up the handbrake and the car came to a jarring halt. "What's wrong?" she asked. Then she noticed a set of traffic lights in front of her. They were on red and she knew enough about road discipline on Earth to realise that the red light means stop. Shiratori's respite didn't last long for the lights changed to green and Ayeka pressed down on the accelerator once more, then released the handbrake and off went the car at a nightmarish speed. Soon they found themselves tearing along a dual carriageway. Ayeka couldn't help but notice something wasn't right as she drove along the carriageway on the right-hand side. Why were all the other vehicles coming towards them? And why was Shiratori behaving so strangely? She spent about four minutes swerving wildly to avoid a head-on collision when it occurred to her that she was in the wrong carriageway. Well she had to find some way of getting into the other side, but there was no break in the barrier that she could see. "I'll have to make a U-turn. But can I do it without crashing into another vehicle?" A police car with its siren wailing had been pursuing Ayeka and Shiratori in the left-hand lane and was just about to catch up with them. Although Shiratori's car could reach a top speed of 240 kilometres per hour Ayeka's weaving had slowed it down quite a bit. Then Ayeka did something which astounded the two policemen in the police car. She managed to do a U-turn, missing an articulated lorry by centimetres and sped in the opposite direction at the same speed as before. The cops were dumbstruck. The driver of that car was either a genius or a suicidal maniac. Ten minutes of demented driving later Ayeka noticed something else was up. "Those two cars have been tailgating us for some time." And indeed there were two more police cars after them, sirens wailing and blue lights flashing. Shiratori, trying to regain some appearance of sanity, said, "Well, normally I'd try to lose them." "Right," said Ayeka and promptly veered off to the left across a golf course, flying over bunkers and water traps just like the Dukes of Hazzard. "Oh, lord, we're going to go into orbit pretty soon," gibbered Shiratori as the speeding car scattered golfers, caddies and golf carts who were unfortunate enough to be in their path. They then sped into a large wooded area and anyone who recalls the race through the forest in 'Return of the Jedi' can easily imagine what a hair-raising ride this was for Shiratori. This ride was different, however. Whereas Luke Skywalker and company only had to worry about avoiding trees as they flew through the forest on their hover-bikes (the author cannot recall what exactly the vehicles were called), Ayeka and Shiratori also had to contend with the infuriatingly uneven ground in the woods. "Isn't there any way we can glide over these bumps?" asked Ayeka, rather annoyed about being tossed about in her seat. "I thought we were gliding already!" cried Shiratori as he was thrown about the inside of the car like a sack of potatoes. Then, CRUNCH!!! They did not crash into a tree, but instead fell foul of a small hill that was steeper than others and a dip that was deeper than others. The engine roared impotently for a few seconds and then conked out. "Oh, oh!" groaned Ayeka. "Now what do we do?" "Let's start by getting our breath back," suggested Shiratori. Just then the car was enveloped in a green-yellow glow and they found themselves and their car being slowly lifted upwards. Shiratori felt what was left of his sanity being slowly peeled away from his brain. * * * * * * On the bridge of the space ship, hissing voices could be heard all around. The most prominent among them said, "Capture and traction successful, Captain. Petrol-driven vehicle and two Earth humanoids in the hold." "Good. Pilot Deefore, resume original course and at all costs keep out of sight of the Galaxy Police." "Aye, Captain Eywunn." * * * * * * "Where are we?" Ayeka ventured to ask. "I don't know. I don't want to know," blubbered Shiratori. "This looks like the hold of a space pirate ship," said Ayeka. "Look how grimy the floors and the walls are." "I'm not listening," blubbered Shiratori. Just then, one of the Captain's minions descended into the hold. "Beetoo. Confirmation: two earth humanoids and one petrol-driven vehicle," he hissed into his communicator. Ayeka stepped out of the car and said indignantly, "I am not of the Earth, I am the First Princess of Jurai. I demand to know why you have abducted us." Beetoo squinted for a few seconds and then recognised Ayeka. He gagged briefly and blurted, "I thought I knew you from somewhere!" And then into his communicator he said, "Beetoo. Correction, we have one petrol-driven vehicle, one Earth humanoid and one First Princess of Jurai!" Captain Eywunn was dumbstruck. "Princess Ayeka of Jurai? Are you having me on?" "I'm not. I assure you we really have no other person than Lady Ayeka, Crown Princess of Jurai." Eywunn couldn't believe his luck. What was the Crown Princess of Jurai doing on a sad little mud ball like Earth? Earth, as far as he and his ilk were concerned was a place where they could get subjects for their scientific experiments; they served no other practical purpose. And what would he do now he had the Princess at his disposal? Maybe he could hold her to ransom for zillions of gigazillions of galactic groats or whatever the monetary unit of Jurai was. Maybe she was in exile on Earth to avoid some scandal. If that was the case then he could find out what that scandal was and perpetually blackmail her. A dozen more ideas ran through his mind, each one more nefarious than the last. "Shall I inform Jurai that we have their princess?" asked Beetoo on the communicator. "No. First we shall decide what use we can put her to," said the Captain while he came up with still more nefarious ideas. The Captain's train of thought was rudely interrupted when the whole space ship jolted violently. "Deefore!" he shouted, "what is the cause of this?" "I am not sure, Captain," said Deefore. "I'd say we're going through an air pocket but we're in a hard vacuum." The ship jolted again. The Captain groaned. This was no help at all. The ship continued to jerk about and the Captain and crew were tossed about like pancakes in a pan. "Blast it! Will you keep this (*censored*) ship still?" But despite Deefore's best efforts the ship continued to jerk this way and that. The Captain desperately tried to contact Beetoo. "Beetoo, do you receive?" Another jolt. "What the -" CRASH! "-is going on?" At that moment the turbulence stopped. The crew all breathed a sigh of relief and Deefore set about getting the craft back on course. The Captain was puzzled about this turbulence. Even though this was a relatively small space ship, it should have been able to stand up to any disturbance in the space-time continuum without its crew being thrown about like beans in a tin can. Even the crew on board the USS Enterprise never had to put up with this nonsense. Then another problem came up. In all the turbulence the ship had been knocked far off its course and was now in sight of a Galaxy Police craft. A new voice came over the communicator. "This is the Galaxy Police. You miscreants are under arrest for dangerous driving and ... " The rest of the message was drowned out by the roar of an internal combustion engine. Shiratori's car driven by Ayeka crashed through the port side doorway with Beetoo clinging for dear life to the roof. It tore around the bridge in circles, smashing into several control desks and narrowly missing various crew members. Suddenly it all made sense to Eywunn. It was Ayeka's demented driving that was causing all the mayhem. The car then made a sharp left turn, crashed out through the starboard-side doors and disappeared down a corridor, Beetoo still clinging to the roof. After the car's engine faded away the voice on the communicator became audible. "Energise the traction beam," it said. The Captain could only sit on the floor helplessly as the ship once again juddered and shook under the pressure of the Galaxy Police's traction beam. It behaved just like a drunken yob being carted out of a pub. But then there was complete calm - highly unusual for this ship. The Captain looked at his monitor and saw that the traction beam was no longer trained on the ship but was dragging Shiratori's car away. Beetoo was still clinging to the roof, but fortunately he was an android and could survive for long periods in a hard vacuum. * * * * * * "Well, who would have thought the Galaxy Police would come to our rescue?" said Ayeka. Shiratori didn't want to know. He was crouching in his seat in the foetal position and gibbering incoherently. Then Ayeka noticed something else wasn't quite right. "Hey, why is the air getting thinner in here?" Her voice was gradually fading out. "Oh my gosh! This car wasn't designed for space, was it? No wonder I'm having trouble breathing! (She didn't seem to have any trouble talking!) Oh, I hope we get into that police ship soon." * * * * * * "Oh, oh!" said one of the Galaxy Police officers. "We've blundered with the traction beam. We've got a small vehicle that came out of the rogue ship but the ship itself is slipping into the Earth's atmosphere." "That's outside our jurisdiction," said Mitsuki, who was in charge of this particular Galaxy Police craft in the absence of Kiyone. "Get the vehicle into the hold and capture the ship again." "The vehicle is safely in the hold," reported another officer. Then another problem came up. "Aw no! I don't know if we have enough energy left to keep the ship in the beam." "Try to hold it anyway," said Mitsuki. "As long as it doesn't try to thrust its engines we can apprehend it." * * * * * * In fact the pirates weren't in any position to try any kind of stunt in space. The control panels on the bridge were wrecked, the pilot Deefore was unconscious and Captain Eywunn was trying for all he was worth to figure out what he could do to get away out of the traction beam. He didn't get much more time to think because a teleport beam snaked onto the bridge, captured the Captain and his crew and stowed them safely in the cells on the police ship. * * * * * * "So, it was you who was causing the pirate ship to go out of control?" said Mitsuki. "I was trying to find a way out of the ship," explained Ayeka. "I had no idea we were in outer space, which is strange, because I can usually tell whether I'm in space or not." "Well, how are you going to explain to your parents about this when they ask where you've been?" said Mitsuki. "I'm not worried about that," replied Ayeka. "I'm more concerned with what I'm going to do about Shiratori and his car." * * * * * * As it turned out, Shiratori's car was none the worse for the escapade. The same, alas, could not be said for Shiratori himself. The Galaxy Police were kind enough to deliver Ayeka, Shiratori and his car back to the Masaki household even though it lay outside their jurisdiction. "So," said Yosho, "have you decided what sort of car you're going to get?" "I've decided not to bother with a car," replied Ayeka. "They're more trouble than they're worth." This reply prompted a clearly audible sigh of relief from Tenchi and Shiratori who was only just starting to get his nerves back together. "When you think about it," she went on, "they're just lifeless hunks of steel - no spirit to them at all. I just couldn't link with it as I could with Ryu-oh." * * * * * * Meanwhile, Ryoko, who had been watching every detail of Ayeka's adventure on Washu's monitoring equipment, was getting ideas of her own. She may have lost Tenchi to Ayeka, but no way was she going to miss out on a thrill like this! She appeared through the wall of the room where the company were sitting, took Shiratori by the arm and said "Come on, baby, let's take a ride!" ====================================================================================== A few facts now that I've finished. First the DISCLAIMER: All the "Tenchi Muyo" characters mentioned in this story, namely Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Yosho, Mitsuki, Kiyone and Washu are property of Pioneer and AIC and a number of other people I haven't heard of and are used without their permission. Please don't sue - I don't think it would be worth it and I've no money anyway. All the other characters, viz Shiratori, Beetoo, Eywunn and Deefore are of my own creation. Now I've noticed that nearly all the fan fictions on the Ayeka Fan Club pages are rather sombre in mood and I'm more of a humourous writer. All I really wanted to do was write a story that was light-hearted. Whether I've succeeded or failed in this, do let me know. My e-mail address is: cormac828@hotmail.com Thomas McKee, London, UK, 18th January 2001