Small note to whomever may be reading: This is my first Tenchi fanfiction, written around a year ago in 1996. Unlike other fanfictions I write, it does not further character development and character relationships at all; it is just a short little work that I wrote on a whim while pondering what to do next with 'Pilaf and the Brain'. (^_^; It also may make no sense if one does not read it carefully, as there are more sections of just dialogue and not action. It may not make sense period. But then again, since when did any of my works make sense? Enjoy! Washuu-chan's Great Invention: A Tenchi Muyou Comedy Catastrophe by Andrea Paulinski (paulia63@uwosh.edu) "Wah! Wait, Ryo-chan!" "Miyaaa!" Sasami chased the little cabbit through the halls, struggling to keep up. One moment she had been happily purring, Sasami scratching her head, the next breaking into a gallop out of the door. "Ryoooooooo-chaaaaaaaaaan!" she called and panted. Ryo-ohki had done a good job of keeping away from her. "Ryoooo-*oof*!" "And where do you think you're going?" Ryouko grumbled. She had just left the bathroom when the little Juraian princess bumped into her. "Ryouko-oneechan! Gomen nasai, but Ryo-chan - " Ryouko continued, apparently not listening to her, "If I can't get to Tenchi - " She grinned playfully. " - I'll have him get to me!" "Nani? Tenchi-niichan?" Sasami cocked her head. Ryouko-oneechan could be so strange sometimes. "Doshite?" "Huh? Oh nothing, nothing." Ryouko looked up innocently. "Ja, run along now, ojouchan." She patted her harshly on the head and ran off, giggling in a high pitch. "Oh well.." Sasami watched her disappear into thin air, then blinked. "Oh! Ryo-ohki-chan!" She glanced around, not finding anyone. "She's gone.." There was a loud clatter from the next room, startling her, then a cry. Sasami ran to investigate, and found Mihoshi, covering her mouth and in complete shock. "Mihoshi-oneechan, what happened?" Mihoshi was staring at an empty dresser; her eyes were darting to and fro, and with each to and fro she squealed. "Oneechan?" "Sasami-chan!" Mihoshi grabbed her by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. "Something awfully frightening and terrible and awful and shocking has happened!" "Wh-what?" "Horrible! Truly horrible!" "What is it?" Sasami asked, getting frightened. "A horrible catastrophe! Truly horrible! Something you'd never want happen to you!" Mihoshi raised her voice melodramatically. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Mihoshi paused, giving a dramatic tension. Sasami blinked, waited. Finally, Mihoshi took a deep breath and said very slowly "I..." "Hai?" "...am missing..." "Hai? Hai?" "...my..." "...." "..toothbrush." Sasami fell over. "N-nan da? T-toothbrush?" "My favorite one! It's missing!" she cried. "One moment it's here, the next - " Mihoshi threw up her hands. " - POOF!" Sasami sat up. "Oneechan, maybe you just misplaced it?" Mihoshi blinked. "Oh..maybe. Demo..I left it here," she sighed, looking ready to cry. "Oh well." "Mihoshi-oneechan, I'll help you look for it," she offered, feeling sorry for her. Mihoshi's eyes lit up. "Honto? WAI! Arigato!" "But as soon as I find Ryo-chan," Sasami amended. "Have you seen her?" "Iie. Ryo-chan's missing?" "Yes." "Did I tell you I'm missing my favorite toothbrush?" "Uhm, yes. Anyway - " Sasami put her hand behind her head and laughed nervously. "I gotta find her now, and then I'll help ya look." "Ja ne!" Mihoshi waved exuberantly and went back to her business, whatever that was; Sasami wasn't sure. "Ano - " She pushed herself up, and fell immediately back on her rump. "Iteh." Sasami winced. "You decided to stay and help me?" Mihoshi asked hopefully. "How kind of you! Remember, it's a toothbrush." Sasami stared at her hand. "Grease? Mihoshi-oneechan, why is there grease on the floor?" She wiped her hand on her robe and made a face, sticking out her tongue in disgust. "Yech." "Grease? Honto?" Mihoshi reached out and grabbed a bottle from another dresser. "I thought this was Lysol." Sasami held in a giggle. Mihoshi shrugged and tossed the bottle n the bed. She lost her footing and fell face first to the floor. "Oo..that Lysol is slippery, ne?" "H-hai," she gave in. Several moments later, after several attempts by the two girls to get to the door, Sasami was in the hall again, calling the cabbit's name. "Ryo-chaaaaaaaan!" "Sasami! Wh-what are you doing here?" "Ah! Oneesama! Have you seen Ryo-chan? I can't find her anywhere - " "That Ryouko-san!" Aeka growled. "I bet she did it." "Nani? Ryouko-oneechan?" Sasami inquired. "I just saw her a few minutes ago, talking about Tenchi-niichan." "She DID, did she?! Sooo THAT'S why! Come with me!" Aeka grabbed her sister's hand and raced down the hall. "W-what d-did R-ryouko-oneechan d-do? And w-where are we going, Oneesama?" Her sister had broken into a trot, making it difficult to talk. Aeka stopped and turned Sasami around to face her. "A catastrophe has occurred!" "A ca-catastrophe?" Sasami blinked. "What sort?" "A horrible awful one!" Aeka looked straight into her eyes. "Something you'd never want happen to you!" Aeka raised her voice melodramatically. "H-honto?" "Hai. Never." She narrowed her eyes. "And you know what this catastrophe is?" "No, I don't. You didn't lose toothbrush, did you?" "I - huh? Nan da? A toothbrush?" Aeka looked at her strangely. "What are you talking about?" "Mihoshi lost her toothbrush and I'm s'pposed to help her find it." "BAH! Let her find her own toothbrush! This is serious! Ryouko- san stole it and I need help finding it! The little witch, probably doing this to spite me," Aeka fumed. Sasami sweatdropped. "What is it? What did she take?" she asked. "One of my prized possessions! The weasel!" Aeka broke into tears, then clenched her fists in rage, a determined look spread on her face. "We'll get it back!" Sasami sighed, "I'll help you find it, but I have to find Ryo- chan first and THEN Mihoshi-oneechan's toothbrush." "I'll get her for this," she growled, an evil glint in her eye. "But it would help, Oneesama, if I knew what 'it' is." "Go off and play then." Aeka waved her hand, apparently not hearing her. "And if you run into Ryouko-san or my brooch, tell me." She ran off, screaming loudly "I'll get you for this!" Sasami watched her slip into a corner. "That's three things missing. Maybe Tenchi-niichan knows where everything and Ryo-chan are!" she said brightly, and went to find him. He was in his room, sitting on his bed with a furious look on his face. "Tenchi-niichan." She knocked on the door. "May I come in?" He looked up and forced a smile. "Sure." "Have you seen Ryo-chan or Mihoshi-oneechan's toothbrush or Oneesama's brooch?" she asked him. "Though everyone seems to be coming into my room lately," he pouted, not paying attention to her. "Nani?" Sasami sat cross-legged on his floor, being careful to inspect it first lest Mihoshi cleaned in there. She hadn't. "Who's been in your room?" "And now it's gone. A complete catastrophe! I'll never live without it! Something you'd never want happen to you!" Tenchi raised his voice melodramatically. Sasami opened her mouth, but decided against it. No one seemed to be hearing her today anyway. "I bet MIHOSHI-SAN took and hid it! She was talking about how she liked it!" He stood up suddenly. "Sasami-chan, if I don't find it soon I'll lose my mind!" 'What - " "I worked so hard on it! I can't lose it now! Come on, will you help me find it?" Sasami grimaced. "Everyone's losing their stuff today. I lost Ryo-chan and have to find her. Mihoshi-oneechan lost her toothbrush - "Tenchi growled at the mention of her name. " - and I promised to help find it after I found Ryo-chan. Oneesaama lost her brooch and I promised to help her find it after I helped find Mihoshi-oneechan's toothbrush after I find Ryo-chan. I'll help you find..eh.. whatever it is you're looking for, but only after I find everything else, okay?" "Hai hai, fine," he sighed. "If you see my paper when you're out swimming, though, be sure to dry off your hands. I don't want it to get wet." Sasami nodded, not daring to point out she mentioned nothing about swimming, closing the door behind her. She leaned against the wall and breathed a sigh. "Now Tenchi-niichan is missing something. I don't know who else to turn - ah! Washuu-oneechan!" She head towards Washuu's lab and hesitantly knocked on the door. "Who iiiiiissssss iiiiiiiit?" a voice bellowed from within. "Sa - " "I'm busy right now, Sasami-chan! Come back later!" "Ano.." Sasami frowned. Perhaps she was busy looking for something, too? "In an hour!" Washuu amended. "H-hai..." Sasami sighed, distraught. There was no one else to ask. "Oi, what're you doin' hangin' out here?" Ryouko asked as she came up from behind her. "Nothing.." she muttered, depressed. "Hmph. I can't believe that Tenchi!" Ryouko's eyes blazed. "I bet he took it just because of what happened in the bathroom!" "A complete catastrophe? Something I'll NEVER want to happen to me?" Sasami asked, raising her voice. "Oiii, how'd you know?" She put her hands on her hips and looked at her, suspicious. "You wouldn't happen to KNOW whodunit, do you?" "I-iie..it was just a lucky guess, oneechan," she gulped. "I can't find Ryo-chan; Mihoshi-oneechan can't find her toothbrush; Oneesama can't find her brooch - " "And she's probably accusing me of taking it, ne?" Ryouko grinned. "D-did you?" "Of course not," Ryouko said sweetly. "Would *I* ever do such a thing?" "I guess not, but it would be better for me if you had," Sasami sighed again. "Doooooshite?" "I promised Tenchi-oniichan that I'd help him find his paper after I help Oneesama find her brooch after I help Mihoshi-neechan find her toothbrush after I find Ryo-chan," she explained. "Ja, you can help me find the cappuccino machine after you find all those other things, can you? The one that Tenchi stole?" "Hai..." "Good girl!" Ryouko patted her on the head, lighter this time. "You'd better get crackin' then." Sasami watched her leave. "I don't know how I get talked into these things. Oh well.." Sasami straightened. "Better find Ryo-chan." She searched the halls, but found no sign of her, Tenchi, and the other girls. Sasami pouted as she headed into the kitchen. "Everyone's gone." "Yoi! Everyone's gone and no one to talk to." Sasami, startled, turned around and stared right into the face of Washuu. "Na...Washuu-oneechan? Are you missing something, too? I thought -" "Taking a break." She grinned as she took a pot of coffee and pored some of the liquid into the mug. "Coffee?" Washuu held the pot out to her. Sasami shook her head and sat at the table, propping her head with her hands. "No? Okay." Washuu placed the pot back into the maker and sat beside her. "I thought you said an hour?" Sasami asked, curious. "I'm running ahead of schedule." Washuu smiled as she sipped her coffee, then placed it down on the table. "I might even have it done in a few minutes." "What are you working on?" "It's a secret." She winked. "Something incredibly awesome and spectacular and useful." "Sugoiiii, I wish I could see it." Sasami blinked excitedly. "May I?" "When it'd done, I'll call down everyone." Washuu sipped again. "You stole my brooch, you thief!" "Give me back my paper!" "I want my cappuccino machine, Tenchi!" "My toothbrush!" Aeka, Ryouko, Mihoshi, and Tenchi stumbled into the kitchen, unaware of the other two at the table. Washuu watched them out of the corner of her eye, still drinking. Sasami stood up. "Minna! Guess what Washuu-oneecha - " "Ryouko, give me back my brooch!" Aeka snarled. "I don't have it, cutie!" she snapped back. "Tenchi, hand over my machine!" "What machine?! Mihoshi-san, I'd like my paper back." He held out his hand expectedly. "Ano...what paper? Have you seen my toothbrush?" "Washuu-oneechan - " She tried hard to have her voice above the others. "Washuu-ONEECHAN - " Washuu shook her head, stood up. "Minna-dono! Your attention please!" Everyone stopped and turned to her. "You are all invited to the unveiling of my NEW splendorific invention in fifteen minutes. Sankyuu." She sat, the arguing continued. "See, Sasami-chan? Assertive." "H-hai.." "Walk me to the lab, darling?" She glanced at the battle. "They don't seem to be any fun." They stood up and left. "So, you don't have anything missing?" Washuu coughed. "Now that you mention it, maybe I do. I'll have to check." Sasami blinked, confused. "Doshite? Are you missing anything, Sasami- chan?" "Ryo-ohki.." "She's in the lab," she answered. Sasami's eyes bulged. "Honto?" "Mm-hmm. Little Ryo-ohki-chan has been keeping me company all day." Washuu stopped in front of the door; Sasami followed suit. "You'll have her back in no time. Promise. Anything else?" "There's Mihoshi-oneechan's toothbrush and Oneesama's brooch and Tenchi-oniichan's paper and Ryouko-oneechan's cappuccino thing I have to find." Washuu didn't respond, engrossed in opening the door. "That's nice," she said finally. "Well Sasami-chan, I'll call you when I'm done!" Washuu disappeared into the lab, leaving Sasami alone. She glanced around, wondering if anyone else was still in the kitchen. 'May as well check.' Sasami skipped and bounced there, almost tripping on the long dress she wore, and waved. "So minna-chan, isn't that - " But no one was there. Everyone had gone back to their respective rooms, madder than before. "Sou ka," she sighed, "I'm all alone again." "IIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!" That sound came from her sister's room! Sasami rushed there. "Oneesama, what -- !" She burst through the door. "Ca-ca-cata-ta-ta-strophe! A-a-a-a-again! Sh-she - " "Who? What? Where? Why? When? How?" "Horrible wench!" Aeka shouted. "I bet she did it to spite me more!" "Nani?" She knew Ryouko-oneechan wasn't that dumb. "Or maybe..it was... TENCHI-SAMA!" She threw open the drawer and grabbed a pair of scissors. "HE took it!" "Took what?" Sasami backed away, scared. Her sister's fits of rage always scared her somewhat." Maybe you lost - " "TENCHI-SAMA!" Aeka slammed open the door. "I want my down- feather pillow back!" Sasami slipped out, trembling. "Oneesama is really mad." She crept silently down the hall, and when she was out of hearing distance, breathed a sigh of relief. "At least I know Ryo-chan is safe. Ne..which reminds me.." She trotted down to Mihoshi's room, and was greeted by the same way her sister had. "IIIEEEEEEE!!!" "Mihoshi-oneechan! What's wrong?" Sasami rushed in and slipped on the floor. "I-the!" Mihoshi sniffled. "Sasami-chaaaaaaaaan, have you seen my rubix?" "Eh?" "I wanted to play with my rubix cube, to see if I could get it all different colors this time - "she explained hectically. "But it keeps on being the same color on each side!" "O-oh..." "Ano...have you seen my toothbrush? I lost it." "I'm looking for it, Mihoshi-oneechan, I'm looking for it." She turned to the door. "Wait!" She stopped, turned to face Mihoshi. Mihoshi bounded up to her, almost slipping. "I'll come with you. I want to see if you remember what I'm missing - " "Mihoshi-san! I want my paper back!" Tenchi burst into the room. "I can't live without it!" "What paper?" Ryouko followed him. "Oi, you stole my cappuccino machine!" she accused Tenchi, baring her fangs. "What would you use a cappuccino machine for?!" he countered. "I - I - " "Tenchi-SAMA!" Aeka appeared. "How DARE you steal my down feather pillow!" "I didn't steal anything! But SHE - " He pointed to Ryouko. " - stole my teddy!" "NANI?" Ryouko looked up. "I wouldn't.." Aeka folded her arms and stuck her nose in the air, refusing to look at her." I bet you would." "WHO ARE YOU TO TALK?! *YOU* TOOK MY Special Patented Peeping Handkerchief (tm) !" she retorted angrily. "You what...?" "My..." Ryouko slapped her mouth in surprise, glancing at Tenchi. "Nevermind, baka! Just give it back!" "Ano.." Mihoshi started, "did all of you lose something, too?" "Excuse me." "Ah, Washuu-oneechan!" Sasami trotted up to her. "Since when did you get here?" "Since just now," she winked. "Minna-dono, may I have your undivided attention?" Everyone stopped, stared at her. "Sankyuuuu! My new invention is all ready to test! Come with me." Washuu waved over her shoulder and left them blinking. They obeyed and concentrated around her lab door. She grinned at them. "Ja, be prepared to witness the pen- ultimate invention of all time -- !" Washuu opened the door and waved her finger for them to come closer. They did. "Are you ready?" "Ano..Washuu-san..." "CHAN, baka! CHAN!" "Washuu-chan - " Aeka peeked in. Washuu slapped her hand. "Ow! What was that for?!" "I didn't say you could go in yet, now did I?" Washuu glanced in, then nodded. "Yoush, all clear." She donned a helmet and walked in. The others looked at each other and followed. They found her standing next to a table, covered with various trinkets of all shapes and sizes. Their eyes bugged. "My paper!" "My brooch!" "Oh my.. how did my toothbrush get there?" Washuu stepped off to the side as the group launched themselves to the table, ready to claim their goods. Ryo-ohki hopped over to Sasami happily. As the owners sighed happily over their new-found items, Sasami strolled over to Washuu. "Washuu-oneechan, I don't get it..." "Say no more, Sasami-chan. My invention worked. It truly was a catastrophe, ne?" Washuu winked. "But - " "If this family ever breaks up, ever fights over silly things like this, where would we be? What would happen to us?" Washuu looked seriously at her. "That was my experiment, my invention. "Don't mention it to them." As explanations were asked from Washuu, which were met with a simple 'I found them', Sasami sneaked out of the room. "She's right. It really was a catastrophe." Ryo-ohki miyaaed in agreement.