TENCHI WAKUSEI, BOOK ONE: "NO DREAMS FOR TENCHI"

By Joe Meadows (gpabn@yahoo.com) 

NOTA BENE: This novel (comprising 24 chapters, a Prologue, and an 
Epilogue) is a sequel to the "Tenchi Muyo Television Series" 
("Tenchi Universe"), with some "Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki!" original 
OAV series characters and elements included where--in the author's 
opinion--they don't conflict with "Tenchi Universe."  For example, 
in order to flesh out a family background for Ayeka and Sasami, 
rather than create new characters, I used the existing parental 
figures of King Asuza and Queen Misaki from the OAVs.  In order to 
bring the Galaxy Police more into the story, I re-instated the Grand 
Marshall as Mihoshi's grandfather and used an existing character from 
the Tenchi Muyo mangas, Chief Tor Bodai.  And so on. 

AIC and Pioneer LDC, whose kind indulgence I am counting on, own the 
copyrights on the original Tenchi Muyo characters.  The character of 
Chief Tor Bodai was created by Hitoshi Okuda for the Tenchi Muyo manga 
series and is also copyrighted by AIC and Pioneer LDC.  All truly new 
characters are my creation.   Those characters and the actual story 
are copyright 2002 by yours truly.  The lyrics for both versions of 
the theme song for "Speed Racer," the Beatles' "Abbey Road" album, 
the Beach Boys' "Surfing USA," the theme to "The Brady Bunch," and 
"Amore" are copyrighted by their various owners.  The events that 
comprise the "Tenchi Universe" series are discussed in this novel; 
consequently, spoilers lurk within.  Be warned.  Please check out the
"Chapter Notes" at the end of some of the chapters.  Feedback is very 
welcome!  I can be reached at gpabn@yahoo.com and thanks for taking 
the time to read this novel.  

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CHAPTER EIGHT
No Need For A Rescue
____________________


Tenchi awoke with the smell of freshly brewed tea in his nostrils.  It 
was a wonderful aroma to wake up to.

He blinked his eyes open.  Sasami stood there in the tent, holding a 
tea tray.  She smiled down at him.

"Sasami!"  Tenchi quickly got his bearings.  He and Tris had spent the 
night in the tent.  That accounted for the sun-splashed orange walls 
and all the outdoor sounds seeping in.  And little Sasami was being a 
sweetheart.  That accounted for the tea.

Tenchi sat up.  "You really didn't have to do this, Sasami.  Tris and 
I planned to go in the house for breakfast once our visitors have 
eaten."

"That's okay, Tenchi.  I know we decided you should eat inside.  But 
I think you and Tris deserve a morning cup of tea after giving up your 
room for those awful girls and having to sleep outdoors."

"Well, it's not so bad, Sasami.  This is very sweet of you."

Sasami smiled again.  "I like doing it, Tenchi."

"Speaking of that wise guy--where's Tris?"

"Ohhh...he's outside the tent.  He's puffing real hard and holding his 
side.  I asked him if he was hurt and he said something about death 
losing its sting."

Tenchi grinned.  "He's still running up the temple steps every 
morning.  You'd better serve him his tea outside, Sasami."

"All right, Tenchi."



"Come on!  It's breakfast time," Kiyone called loudly at the closed 
door of the visitors' bedroom.

"What's wrong with them now, Kiyone?" Mihoshi, standing beside her 
partner, asked.

"Who knows?"  Kiyone knocked on the door.  "Come on!  Breakfast!"

"Yes," Mihoshi added.  "Don't you girls want to eat?"

It had been a struggle to get the two little dears up out of bed 
(Viatrix, the dominant one, had taken Tenchi's bed, leaving Beah with 
Tris's futon) and into the Grand Baths earlier that morning.  The 
girls had been obviously impressed with the massive bath palace, but 
acted as if it were only their due.  Then, after they had bathed, they 
had gone back to the room to dress and had not reappeared.  Breakfast 
was on the table now and getting cold.  Lord Yosho and Nobuyuki had 
already eaten their breakfast and departed for their respective areas 
of responsibility.

"We don't wanna go to that dining table anymore," Viatrix's voice came 
from behind the door.  "Everybody looks at us mean and talks mean--
especially you!"

"I do not!  Besides, if you don't come to the table, you won't get 
breakfast!"

Silence from behind the door.

Kiyone detected motion behind her.  She and Mihoshi turned.

Ayeka and Sasami stood there.  They were curious as to why so few had 
showed up for breakfast.  They already had a pretty shrewd idea.  
Ryoko had stayed behind in the dining room, drinking tea and thinking 
hard thoughts about the new houseguests.

"Why can't you serve breakfast to us in here?" Viatrix's voice asked 
plaintively through the door.  "That little kid could bring it."

Sasami grimaced but kept silent.

Kiyone's cheeks reddened as anger suffused her entire being.  
Breakfast brought in—-for those brats!  She beat on the door.  
"You'll come out of there right now or you won't get any breakfast!"

Mihoshi said, "Kiyone, why don't..."

"Not now, Mihoshi!  Those girls are coming out--now!"  Kiyone kept 
beating on the door.  "Are you two going to come out, or—-"

"No!  You and Mop Head are mean to us!  We want breakfast served to 
us in here!" Viatrix's voice replied.

"Like fun, you will--!"  Kiyone's fists began hitting the door again.  
"I'm warning you—-"

Suddenly, Kiyone stopped her tom-tom routine on the door.  Ayeka had 
laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Of course you shall have breakfast served in there, dear," Ayeka 
called out, so that Viatrix and Beah could hear her.

Kiyone turned and stared at Ayeka, dumbfounded.  "But Ayeka—-"

Ayeka just shook her head.  She turned to her little sister.  
"Sasami dear, please finish your breakfast and then prepare two 
trays for our guests.  I will help you bring the trays in to them."

Sasami nodded.  After a quick glance at Kiyone's still flushed face, 
she scooted off.  

Mihoshi stood quietly, watching her partner and the Princess, her blue 
eyes mirroring her relief.

Ayeka moved to the door.  "We shall bring breakfast in to you shortly, 
dear."

"That mean cop isn't gonna bring it in, is she?" Viatrix's voice 
demanded.

"I and my little sister shall bring in your breakfast, dear."

There was silence.  Then:

"Well, all right.  We know we can trust you, Princess."

Ayeka turned from the door.

Kiyone began, "Ayeka—-"

The Princess briefly held a finger to her lips.  Then she murmured, 
"It is time we had our own breakfast."  She led the way to the dining 
room.  

Kiyone and Mihoshi followed.  Kiyone's expression made it clear she 
was still smarting a bit from the incident.



Ryo-Ohki pranced happily in the tall grass.  The cabbit was chasing 
butterflies; not catching them of course, for the cabbit had a kind 
heart and no taste for insects.  She soon found itself at the great 
orange thing, where two of the friendly tall beings had reposed the 
night before.  Ryo-Ohki had snuggled between them while they slept 
and grabbed some sleep, too.  The cabbit wondered why all the tall 
beings didn't sleep in great orange things.

Sitting on the blanket before the tent, Tenchi and Tris watched 
Ryo-Ohki gambol on the lawn.

"Yep, all the carrots you can eat and pretty women petting you," Tris 
remarked.  "No wonder that Ryo-Ohki's a happy cabbit."

"What a life!" Tenchi agreed.

"Speaking of carrots...when do we eat?"

"Oh, when our visitors finish eating—-not enough room at the table, 
otherwise.  Sasami will come and get us."

"We've been forced out in the cold and our bellies are empty," Tris 
groused.  "My love meter for those two little darlings is at 
minus-two."

"I hear you...especially after that midnight concert.  I still can't 
believe they blew my speakers!  I worked a part-time job at one of 
the grocery stores in the village to buy that stereo."  Tenchi was 
still slightly steamed.

"That's tough.  Say, didn't you mention that you brought back a kind 
of kareoke machine from some planet or something like that?"

"Yeah.  Mihoshi finally wore it out.  She loves kareoke.  She'll get 
you to take her and Kiyone to a kareoke bar one of these days--count 
on it."

"Something else to look forward to," Tris muttered.

"Of course," Tenchi glanced at him slyly, "some guys don't need a 
kareoke machine to do kareoke."

"No," Tris grinned.  "Just a nice hot shower!"

"Yeah, well, just don't give up your day job, buddy.  The only label 
you'll ever record on is Capital Punishment Records."  Tenchi laughed.

"And that's only if I can swing a duet with Brittany Spears," Tris 
cracked.    

"Yeah?  I have just the song for you two, then—-"What's Talent Got To 
Do With It?""  

They both laughed.  Ryo-Ohki flounced up to them.  She collected come 
nice pets and some dandy ear-ruffling.  No food was offered, however.  
The cabbit bounded away for the house.

"If you find any food in there," Tris called after the cabbit, "bring 
us some, will ya?"



At the breakfast table, the women consumed their breakfast in near 
silence.  Ayeka and Sasami ate very quickly and very sparingly.  Then 
Sasami left for the kitchen to prepare the breakfast trays for the 
two visitors.

"You seem upset, Kiyone," Ayeka remarked.

"Upset!  That's a pretty mild way of putting it."  Kiyone's face was 
flushed with residual anger.  "Nursemaiding those two little brats!  
Now we're serving them breakfast in their room.  I'm supposed to be a 
Galaxy Police officer, not a nanny!  It doesn't seem to faze you, 
Ayeka, but—-"

"Not faze me!"  Ayeka spoke vehemently.  "Kiyone, what I would dearly 
love to do is take each of those little vixens and spank some good 
manners into their sassy backsides!  That is what I would do if I had 
my wish."

Ryoko put down her teacup.  "Wow...I like that picture!" she said to 
Ayeka.

Ayeka ignored her.  "But if I did that, I would not be helping my good 
friends, Kiyone and Mihoshi.  Would I?"

Kiyone look at the Princess for a long moment.  The anger slowly 
receded from her face.  She managed a rueful grin.  "No, I suppose you 
wouldn't be."

Ayeka spoke quietly but meaningfully.  "The purpose of this--charade--
is to avoid treating those girls as if they are in jail, until their 
father can come for them...so he will hopefully not proceed with the 
High Commissioner to lay charges against you and Mihoshi.  That is 
correct, is it not?"

"Yes, Ayeka," Mihoshi replied.  Kiyone nodded.

"Kiyone, you need to understand that at times we must smile at people 
we would much rather prefer to attack and to break bread with those 
we consider an enemy.  That is playing the political game.  I know it 
well.  If you do not learn to play this game, at least a little bit, 
you will not get far at all.  I have seen countless careers crushed at 
court, the careers of those who could not hold their tempers or keep 
their thoughts to themselves at a crucial moment."

The dining room was silent now.

Then Mihoshi said softly, "She's right, Kiyone."

"I know she's right, partner."  Kiyone now smiled wanly at the 
Princess.  "Thanks Ayeka.  You're a real Princess...and a real 
friend."

"I hope I am your friend...and yours, too, Mihoshi."

"Of course!" Mihoshi said, looking immensely pleased.

"Me, too?"  Ryoko grinned.

Ayeka eyed her narrowly.  "Actually..."  Then she smiled.  "I was 
going to compliment you, Ryoko.  No flying, or walking through walls, 
or verbal attacks, since those girls came.  You have done very well."

"Aw, Jeeze, Princess," Ryoko said.  "You're not doing so shabby 
yourself."

"Well...!  My cup runneth over." 

Sasami walked in from the kitchen.  "The trays are ready, Ayeka."

"Thank you, dear.  Let us go serve our guests--the little brats!" 
Ayeka said, rising from the table.

Both she and Sasami left the dining room for the kitchen.

"You know," Ryoko said.  "I hate to say this and don't quote me...but 
the Princess can be a real class act sometimes."

"None classier."  Kiyone smiled.



After taking in the breakfast trays (and enduring a screed about 
Detective Split Ends that Ayeka ended by reminding Viatrix and Beah 
that they could still be taken to jail if they didn't behave), Ayeka 
started to walk back to the kitchen with Sasami.  Then something 
occurred to her.  She stopped.  Then she walked into the living room 
and continued on to the front picture window.  She looked out.

"Sasami," she called.  "Lord Tenchi and Tristram are just sitting out 
there.  Are they not going to have breakfast?"

Sasami hustled into the living room.  "Oh, gosh!  I was supposed to go 
get them after the two girls had their breakfast!"

"Well, you can call them in now, dear.  Of course, you could serve 
them outdoors...rather like a picnic!"

Sasami laughed.

"But I think not.  You had better call them in before they start 
chewing on the grass, dear."

Sasami laughed again.  "Yes, Ayeka."  She started for the door.

The Princess looked thoughtful.  Hmmmmm...that was an idea.



"That's gotta be Earth, man.  See...just one dinky moon," Munt Yo'ost 
said, peering through his viewscreen on the main console.

Ginkar Ter'tran checked the navcom.  He was picking up the sector's 
nav buoy transmissions—-he had hacked into those, too, of course.  
"Has to be.  The coordinates are right and tight."

Munt leaned back in his cockpit seat, and stretched.  "Just one punk 
moon...what a podunk planet.  Looks nice and blue, so it ain't no arid 
place, that's something."

"Yeah, that's something," Ginkar agreed.

They piloted their hot-rod techie geek ship past Earth's moon.  They 
were close to that big blue ball...the ball that contained those two 
high-caste chicks...and fame and fortune, too.

Munt frowned.  "Say, Gink..."

"Yeah?"

"This ain't a big planet, but it's big enough, you know?  How're we 
gonna locate the babes?"

Ginkar grinned.  "Hey, puzzle it out, soft-top.  The cops brought 'em 
here to this hole.  They gotta stay with 'em.  This hick planet ain't 
in the Union, is it?  So the cops gotta tread real careful, right?"

"Right."

"So, they have to dock their cop ship outside the planet so it can't 
be seen.  Probably in some sort of passive orbit.  So we skim this 
rock for the cop ship."

"I'm in synch so far.  But how're we gonna tell just where on this 
dump the babes are at?"

"Listen...the GP uses control devices to call their ships like 
everyone else.  Those devices also tell 'em about squawks from the 
bosses and stuff like that.  That means the devices gotta maintain a 
constant uplink with the ship.  And that means a transmission beam 
from the ship to the cop who's got the control cube, or whatever the 
device is."

"Right and tight!  So we just read the beam and it'll give us a fix 
on the cops."

"You're on it, Munt-man.  And where those cops are, the babes are.  
We'll just teleport down near them and rescue the babes.  That's the 
story and that's the glory."

There was another high-five between the two teen boys.

"But what about the cops?" Munt asked.

"Hey, I told you.  They're where they ain't got no pull.  They can't 
arrest nobody or nothing on that planet.  If the babes want to come 
with us--and they will, natch--those cops can't do anything but watch.  
You heard the cop-squawk yourself.  The chicks aren't under arrest."

Munt nodded.  "That's one case of the bad news for the cops!"

"And one case of the good news for us."

"There might be some Earth types around 'em.  They gotta be pretty 
savage."

"We can handle any of those apes!" Ginkar Ter'tran said dismissively.

Most of what he said had been correct.  Not all of it.  There was a 
smidgen of misconception buried in Ginkar's situational assessment.  
Just enough of a misconception that would once again prove the wisdom 
of Robert Burns's contention that the best laid plans of rodents and 
intelligent bipeds (including techie geeks) tend to go "a-gley."  



"A picnic?"

Tenchi put down his teacup slowly.  He looked at Ayeka.  "A picnic--
for those two?"

Tris groaned and lowered his chopsticks, all appetite gone.  "Say it 
ain't so, Princess."

"I do say so," Ayeka said, quietly but firmly.

Seated at the dining room table, Tenchi and Tris were enjoying a 
belated breakfast...enjoying it, that is, until Ayeka told them of her 
plans for their afternoon.

She and Sasami had been very solicitous of Tenchi and Tris, ensuring 
that their food and tea were re-warmed, and chatting about nothing in 
particular.  Then, once Tenchi and Tris had all but finished eating, 
feeling like whole young men again, she had made her "suggestion."

They should have known.  Mihoshi and Kiyone had disappeared upstairs, 
not even waiting to greet them.  Ryoko had lingered only long enough 
to roll her eyes at them, shake her head, and then head for the living 
room and one of the couches for a little post-breakfast nap (the 
ceiling beams, of course, were banned to her for the nonce).  The two 
new houseguests were nowhere to be seen, probably holed up in their 
bedroom.

"I'd sure like to know why we should," Tenchi said.

"That is easily answered, Lord Tenchi.  We want to help Kiyone and 
Mihoshi, do we not?"

"Well...yeah."

Ayeka looked at Tris.  "And I am certain Tristram wants to help them 
as well."

"Uh-huh.  Sure."

"Well, then!  It is crucial that these girls have at least one 
pleasant experience while they are here...and we are not able to 
persuade them to come to the table for meals.  But a picnic lunch 
would work out splendidly.  They will be outside in the fresh air, 
they can see and experience the lovely grounds here, they will not 
feel threatened because of the open space--and Kiyone and Mihoshi 
can keep an eye on them."  Ayeka smiled charmingly.  "Now, I am 
open to suggestions."

Tenchi and Tris looked at each other.  The Princess had them boxed 
in.  And she had done it so nicely!  Jurai was going to get a 
formidable ruler someday.

Tenchi gave it a try anyway.  "My suggestion is--forget about it!"

Ayeka did not lose her smile, but there was steel beneath it now.  "Do 
you propose, Lord Tenchi, that they just sit in that room and we keep 
serving meals to them there?  They really might as well be in prison.  
What will they say to that father who has all that influence with the 
High Commissioner?"

"The food was good?" Tris ventured.

Ayeka looked at Tris.  That look was eloquent.  Tris shut up.

"Aw..."  Tenchi knew he was licked, but didn't take any joy in the 
knowledge.

"Lord Tenchi?"

"Oh...okay."

"That is so very nice of you, Lord Tenchi."  Ayeka beamed.  "I think 
it will be a lovely treat for the girls."

Tenchi really wasn't sore about giving in.  Besides, it would probably 
help his two favorite Galaxy Police officers.  "So, we'll do it at 
lunch time?"

"Yes, Lord Tenchi."

"Is there something Tris and I can do to help?"  Tenchi glanced at 
Tris.  Tris was pantomiming that he was loading a gun and pointing it 
at his head.  Tenchi looked back at Ayeka.

"Why, yes.  I think a spot by the lake would be charming.  Perhaps 
whilst you perform your outdoor chores, you and Tristram could find 
the best spot and ensure the lawn is nice and even there and that 
there are no stones, and so on.  Then you could spread that blanket 
you are using at your tent site.  We shall have our picnic on that."

Tris pulled the imaginary trigger and then his head dropped as an 
imaginary bullet entered his non-imaginary skull.

"We can do that Ayeka.  Me and the basket case here."

"Thank you, Lord Tenchi...Tristram."

Tenchi and Tris (who had risen from the dead) muttered, "You're 
welcome," or words to that effect.  Ayeka rose majestically.

"We shall be ready with baskets of food and several Thermos bottle of 
tea in, shall we say...three hours?"

"That's fine Ayeka," Tenchi said.

With a final beatific smile, Ayeka left for the kitchen to plan the 
menu with Sasami.

Tenchi said, "Tris...don't say it."

"I'm not about to say anything.  I love picnics.  There's food, sun, 
leaves in your drink, and ants in your potato salad.  This is one 
picnic where I'm rooting for the ants, though."

Tenchi groaned.  "Outside, wise guy!  We've got work to do."



In their temporary bedroom, which they had labeled "The Slammer," 
Viatrix and Beah listened to Ayeka's sweetly delivered proposal 
through the door.

"I don't know..."  Viatrix looked at Beah.  Beah shrugged.

"It is so nice outdoors today.  So very warm and pleasant.  It will 
be quite enjoyable, you shall see," Princess Ayeka's coaxing voice 
issued through the closed door.

"Will those two mean cops be there?" Viatrix asked.

"Everyone will be there," Ayeka answered.

That was not technically correct.  Lord Yosho had amiably passed on 
the picnic.  "I'll leave such a festivity to you young people," he 
had said.  He would have a late lunch after the picnic (it was a day 
for off-schedule meals).  Nobuyuki was, of course, at work.  And 
Washuu had not expressed keen enthusiasm for the picnic, either, 
having seen all she wanted to see of the two girls.  

"Hmmmm...that means those two cute boys will be there, huh?"

On the other side of the bedroom door, Ayeka's face registered 
annoyance.  But she kept her voice cheery.  "Of course."

"Well..."  Viatrix's voice was hesitant.

In the bedroom, she turned to Beah.  "You wanna?" 

Beah said, "I know I'm gonna want lunch.  The food's really okay here.  
Better than at school, anyway."

Viatrix turned back to the door.  "Okay, Princess.  Just keep Split 
Ends and Mop Head away from us." 

"I am glad you have assented, dear."  Princess Ayeka's voice sounded 
pleased.  "Both of you will enjoy our little picnic, I am certain."

"Uh-huh."

Ayeka withdrew from the door.  She snorted quietly, and made a quick 
strangling motion with her hands, allowing herself to vent for a 
moment.  Then she sighed and walked away.

Inside the bedroom, Viatrix said, "A picnic!  They must really think 
we're babies!"  She threw herself on the bed, and bounced on it.  Then 
she thought of something.  That cute guy, Tenchi, slept on that bed.  
Viatrix grinned.  She could go for him in a big way...yes, she could.

Beah nodded.  "But I guess that's all there is to do in this dump.  I 
don't understand why that Princess Ayeka hangs out around here."

Viatrix thought she knew why.  She bounced on the bed a bit more, 
grinning slyly.



"Man!  For such a backwater planet, they sure have a lot of network 
infrastructure!" Ginkar exclaimed.

He had decided to hack into Earth communications, just for grins.  He 
had managed to pick up an enormous flow of protocol-dependent message 
packets sent over wiring (crude, man) and also microwaves (not so 
crude, man) and even via satellites (getting there, man).  This 
network system seemed to operate all over the planet.  The system was 
unwieldy and pretty inefficient, but it was a bit more advanced than 
he or Munt would have expected.  It was, of course, the Internet.  

"Their video programming sucks, though."  Munt, who had hacked into a 
satellite's cable TV channel downlink, was looking at the viewscreen 
of his own personal module.  The viewscreen displayed several species 
of Earth creatures apparently contesting a water hole with fangs and 
claws.  "Man...weak."  He aimlessly fiddled with his input control.  
Suddenly, the viewscreen was filled with shapely females wearing 
extremely skimpy apparel, soaking in a tub filled with bubbling water.  
"Hey, Gink!  Earth chicks!"

"How do they look?" Ginkar asked.

"Hot!"

"Man..."  On a telex display, Ginkar was reading one of the message 
packets his cracker app had opened.  It was by no means anything 
sensitive, except perhaps to the participants of the chat room the 
packet was meant for.  The electronic message, from a bored housewife 
in Queens, New York, to an equally bored farmer in Coralville, Iowa, 
detailed the former's red-hot lust for the other and the methods she 
proposed to assuage that lust.  "Munt!  You oughta read this.  This 
chick is dying for it.  Earth girls are easy!"

Both young men were enthralled.  Despite their bragging to themselves 
and other techie geeks, neither had exactly achieved much in the area 
of romance.  To such frustrated males, the notion of "easy" women 
(usually inhabiting an exotic place) was galvanizing.  Of course, such 
notions were usually without foundation.  On the other hand, post-
adolescent gonads require very little foundation.

"Maybe we oughta hang around this rock," Munt mused.  "Think of how 
these native women would react to a couple of advanced rad-and-bad 
zappers!  They'll beg us to take them along!"

"Later," Ginkar decided.  "First, let's rescue the babes, and get 'em 
back home.  Then we can come back!"

The two again high-fived each other.  Things were just getting better 
and better.



Having helped Tenchi pull some weeds and do a bit of trimming (he was 
the Okayama trimming champ by now, he figured) before setting up the 
picnic spot, Tris had left him to walk back to the house for a cold 
drink.  He was nearly at the front gate when he noticed Princess 
Ayeka.  She was out on the lawn conversing with those two big old 
flying and talking wooden lawn ornaments, Azaka II and Kamidake II.
She smiled at him as he came up to her.  "Hello, Tristram."

"Hi, Princess...Ayeka."  He recalled she had asked him to call her by 
her first name.  "What's the haps?"

"Beg pardon?"

"I mean, what's up?"

"I was simply informing my Guardians that we would all be by the lake 
this afternoon.  It is advisable to let them know such things."  Ayeka 
did not elaborate.

Tris did not probe, either.  The Guardians were still a big mystery to 
him, along with all the other lesser mysteries of the Masaki extended 
family.  Looking at Ayeka, he noticed that she appeared a bit drawn in 
the bright sunlight.  He wondered if she got enough sleep.  Dumb 
question!  After last night's impromptu rock concert, who had been 
able to? 

The right-hand Guardian's pilot light blinked.  "Good morning, 
Tristram Coffin.  It is a fine day, sir."

"We saw you attempting to scale those steps.  We trust that you are 
quite recovered, sir," the other Guardian added politely.

"More or less, thanks."  Tris found himself talking to the lawn 
ornaments.  ""Sir?"" he asked Ayeka.

"I instructed my Guardians to regard you as a person of some 
importance," Ayeka explained.

"Well, thanks.  But my father was a "sir."  I'm sure not."

"It is best this way, Tristram," Ayeka told him.  And it was.  For 
one thing, her Guardians would not instantly attack Tris if he ever 
forgot himself and touched Ayeka without her first initiating the 
contact.  Ayeka feared the rather impulsive and demonstrative young 
man might well do that sometime.  It was wise to take precautions.

"Right-o.  Say, I've wondered...why the "two" after their names?  Were 
their daddies Guardians, too?"

Ayeka laughed.  "In a way, Tristram.  The original Azaka and Kamidake 
are actually supreme Juraian warrior-knights who were released from 
their slumber to help us defeat the renegade Prince Kagato.  They both 
are now back on Jurai, both are married, and they still rather enjoy 
playing Earth-style video games."  Ayeka seemed to find this last bit 
vastly amusing.  "When these two Guardians were revived for me—-Miss 
Washuu and Kiyone and Mihoshi performed that task, by the way--I 
decided to avoid causing confusion by naming them thusly.  Do you 
understand, Tristram?"

"Sure...yeah."

"You really do not, do you?" Ayeka asked knowingly.

"Well...no."

Ayeka nodded.  "I can imagine how strange and alien all of this must 
seem to you.  It was difficult for Lord Tenchi to comprehend, at 
first.  Our worlds are vastly different, Tristram."

"Well, yeah, I suppose.  But it must be a very nice world you come 
from, Ayeka...since you come from it."

The Princess smiled dazzlingly.  "That is a lovely thing to say, 
Tristram.  I think I shall tell you something."

"What's that?"

"I am really quite glad you are Lord Tenchi's friend.  It has taken 
me a while to feel this way about you.  I do hope you understand 
about...what happened before."

"I sure do.  Thank you, Ayeka."

She smiled again.  Behind her, the two Guardians blinked their pilot 
lights, seemingly with approbation.



"Oh, that's a great plan, Kiyone!"  Mihoshi clapped her hands.

The two Galaxy Police officers were upstairs in the communal bedroom.  
Since the picnic was looming, they had foregone their chores, at 
least for today.  To pass the time, Kiyone had told Mihoshi about an 
idea she had been mulling over for a few days.

"Yeah, I thought it might appeal to everyone."  Kiyone smiled.  "I 
read in the local paper that the beaches were opening early because 
of the warm weather.  Like you said, Tenchi mentioned there is a nice 
one only a couple of hours away.  You said you'd like to go to the 
beach and I think everyone else would, too.  So, let's do it while 
Tenchi is home for Spring Break."

"When, Kiyone, when?"  Mihoshi was thrilled with the idea of a beach 
trip for all of them.  "Tomorrow?"

"Now, hold on, Mihoshi," Kiyone cautioned.  "I haven't asked Tenchi 
yet and if he agrees, he'll need to clear it with his grandfather and 
his father.  You know it's quite a thing to have all of us out in 
public like that."  She smiled inwardly.  And there was nothing more 
"public" than a beach!

"Why is that, Kiyone?"

Kiyone shook her head with fond exasperation.  Her partner's 
enthusiasm sometimes seemed to cloud her thinking.  It was so like 
Mihoshi to ask an obvious question like that!  

"We're not exactly like a bunch of local girls going out on an 
excursion, Mihoshi.  We're...you know!  Just a little bit different?  
Right?"

Mihoshi slowly nodded.  "Yes, that's right.  We're all so much like a 
family here, I sometimes forget."  She raised a hand and touched one 
of her pointed ears.  She looked a bit downcast.

"Don't let it bother you, partner.  But Tenchi and his grandfather and 
father have to be willing to take the chance--that we'll all behave, 
that Ryoko won't go zooming in the air after a beach ball, that Washuu 
won't bring that console of hers along and whip up a beach hut out of 
thin air, that...well, lots of things."

"But Tenchi and his grandfather and father trust us—-you and me--
don't they?"

"Of course they do.  After all, we lived on our own here on Earth in 
an apartment we paid for."  Kiyone grinned mirthlessly.  "And 
practically starved in!  We never raised any suspicions from the 
locals.  Ayeka and Sasami can handle themselves anywhere.  Ryoko and 
Washuu, on the other hand, have almost never left here to go outside 
the grounds.  That's where the concern might be."

Kiyone now sat down on her futon.  Mihoshi did likewise on her futon, 
picking up Trissy as she did.  Mihoshi had instructed her plush pooch 
that morning to guard her futon, a bit of silliness that she loved but 
generally got under Kiyone's skin.  

Mihoshi still looked a bit perturbed.  She absently petted Trissy.

"On the plus side, we've all gotten a bit older...a bit wiser...since 
we first came here," Kiyone added.  "I think I wised up a little today 
myself.  But we shouldn't get our hopes up until Tenchi and his father 
and grandfather give us the green light, Mihoshi."

Mihoshi brightened up.  "They will!  They're so nice.  And look how 
well we've all behaved with those awful girls here.  Ryoko's been very 
good and patient, for her.  And Washuu's kept away from the girls, 
mostly.  Maybe that will help with Tenchi and Lord Yosho and Mr. 
Masaki.  You think?"

"I think.  Lord Yosho has said good things sometimes come from bad 
things," Kiyone reflected.  "Maybe that will happen in this case.  I 
sure hope so."

Kiyone sat quietly now, staring at one of the bedroom windows, at the 
brilliant sunshine that streamed through the blinds.

"Are you thinking of...what will happen to us when the girls go back, 
Kiyone?"

"Yeah.  Bless that Ayeka!  If we can squeeze through this without an 
official reprimand...a second one..."  Kiyone bit her lip.  "I don't 
know what I'll do if I get dismissed from the GP, Mihoshi."

"You won't get dismissed!  Neither of us will!  It'll be a nice 
picnic, the girls will start acting nice, and they'll say nice things 
to their folks about us.  I'm sure of it!"

Kiyone smiled wistfully at her partner.  "I know one thing, Mihoshi.  
If I had a tenth of your optimism, I'd be a lot happier person."

"I'll give some of mine.  I'll give all of to you.  There's lots of 
it!"  Mihoshi laughed.  Now she held out Trissy.  "Do you want to pet 
her?  It makes me feel better."

Kiyone looked at the lop-eared, woebegone plush pooch.  It was kind 
of cute and appealing, in a way.  Her dopey looks kind of grew on a 
person.  

"Okay...just this once."  She hesitantly gave the stuffed toy a few 
pats.  Well, its plush fur was nice and soft, anyway.

Mihoshi smiled, looking pleased.  "I think she'd wag her tail if she 
could, Kiyone."

"She'd better not or I will crack up."  Kiyone looked at the sun-
drenched window again.  "Maybe I'll go see what that goofball is 
doing..."



"There!  See it?  That's a cop ship—-no bleeking doubt, man," Munt 
announced.

Ginkar looked up from where he had been reading another rather 
scorchy chat room message packet he had cracked.  These Earthlings 
sure didn't have any inhibitions...man!...although he didn't really 
understand what an "afternoon delight" was.  He looked at the 
viewscreen and saw the red spacecraft floating in space not very far 
off.

"You called it tight and right," he agreed.  "It's an old model, man.  
Avatar class.  Just right for cops stuck in this hick place.  Let's do 
a scan on it and locate that uplink beam.  Then we'll know where to 
plant our bad asses."

"Done and done, man."  Munt's fingers flew expertly over the scanner's 
control pod.

"When we have the coords, we'll check out the situation on the ground.  
That new optic imager will give us a clean scene.  We'll need to see 
where they've got the babes stashed.  The place won't be wrapped up 
tight 'cause they're supposed to treat 'em nice.  Probably using some 
local hut."

"Yeah.  Gotta be a real snarky place, being on this podunk planet," 
Munt agreed.  "The coords are coming up now.  In a few minutes, we'll 
be down there with the babes.  They'll be so glad that we're taking 
'em back to civilization...man...party all the way home."

"That's what I'm thinking too, man.  It won't be long now."  



By the shimmering lake with its huge, towering tree rising tall and 
majestic from the silvery water, the picnic blanket lay almost flat on 
the ground.  But not flat enough for Kiyone.

"Look at that bump over there...that's probably a rock.  Go check it 
out," she ordered.

"Slave driver," muttered Tris.  He dutifully walked over to where the 
blanket did seem to rise a bit too high.  "Tenchi and I picked up 
every single solitary rock in this whole area," he told her, lifting 
up the blanket.  "I oughta be back at the house with him now, but no, 
someone isn't satisfied.  Anyway, this is probably just a..."  He 
looked.

"What is it?" Kiyone asked sweetly.

"A rock," Tris muttered.

"My, my."

Tris picked up the rock and lowered the blanket.  He rose.  He tossed 
the rock up and down in his hand.  He looked speculatively at Kiyone.

"Don't even think about it," she said.

"A guy can dream," he said back.  He tossed the rock into the lake.

Kiyone laughed mockingly.  She felt wonderfully better now.  She 
walked on the blanket, feeling around with her bare feet.  She had 
kicked her sandals off.  "Let's see what other non-rocks you missed," 
she murmured.

"Let me know if you step on one.  Say one "ouch" for a small rock and 
two "ouches" for a big rock."

"Oh, you'll find out all right."  Her smile was sugar sweet now.  "I 
just hope you can swim."

Tris sat down on the blanket.  He crossed his arms.  "Indian squaw 
heap big pain.  Me find another one, treat Big Chief plenty good, you 
betcha."

Kiyone walked up to him.  She raised her right leg and prodded his 
chest with a bare foot.  "Big Chief, huh?"  She pushed harder with her 
foot.  Tris toppled on his back.  "Big Chief fall down, you betcha," 
she said.

Tris just stretched out on the blanket.  "Big Chief just lay here.  
Dream of Hiawatha...and Pocohantas."

Kiyone sat down beside his supine form.  "Dreaming of cartoon women.  
That's lame."

"Pocohantas was a real person, I'll have you know," Tris told her.  
"Of course, she was a cartoon, too.  You know what I say about that?"

"I'll bite.  What?"

"The way they drew her...I'd Poke-a-hantas."  He chuckled.  Then he 
stopped chuckling, rather suddenly.  "Ow!"

"More like I Poke-a-you," Kiyone said, examining her knuckles with 
satisfaction.

"This never happened to Crazy Horse."  Tris rubbed his bruised 
shoulder, tenderly.

Kiyone stretched out beside him.  She leaned over Tris, so that her 
long, dark teal hair tickled his face. 

"It's your own fault, clueless.  You're supposed to tell a girl you 
dream about her."

"Oh, is that it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Keep dispensing those pearls of wisdom.  I'll take notes."

"You'll take another shot...or a kiss.  You decide."

Tris decided.  They kissed.

Kiyone slipped her arms around Tris's neck and snuggled against him.  
His arms encircled her.  She kissed his nose.  "That's some nose you 
got there, idiot.  Any more like that at home?"

"Just the dog's."

"Idiot..."

They were finishing another kiss, this one slow and languid, when a 
shadow loomed over them.

"Just can't take you kids anywhere!"

Tris and Kiyone quickly parted and looked up.  Ryoko stood over them, 
grinning.

"Ryoko, your timing is impeccable," Tris told her.  "Just about an 
hour early, though.  Come back then."

"Can't.  Gotta go get that Kiyone and that Tris.  That's what Tenchi 
said.  I've just his obedient servant."

"How come?" asked Kiyone.

"The brats are hungry.  They want to eat now," Ryoko said.

"Maybe we ought to see if those brats can swim," Tris suggested.

Ryoko chuckled and shook her platinum head.  "Come on, you two...no 
fair having fun when nobody else is."

"Okay, okay."  Kiyone rose.  Tris stood up, too, wincing a bit and 
rubbing his bruised shoulder again.

"You're going to have to teach me that left jab, girl," Ryoko said to 
Kiyone as the three of them walked back to the house.



Fortunately for their peace of mind, Kiyone and Tris had no idea that 
others had observed them beside Ryoko.

Peering from behind a tree, Munt and Ginkar watched as the two hot 
babes and the lanky dude walked back toward that wooden structure 
that must be what Earthlings lived in.  The two techie geeks had 
teleported down into the wooded area of the Masaki grounds, showing 
surprisingly good sense in that regard.

"I told you Earth girls were easy," Ginkar said.

"No question, Gink, my man," Munt agreed.  "They aren't too picky 
either."  That pleased him as it did Ginkar.

"But what was that hitting stuff?" Ginkar wondered.  "If she digs that 
dude, why does she hit him?"

"Must be how they do it on Earth."

Ginkar shook his head.  "Man, I don't know if I want to connect with 
these Earth babes.  Looks kinda painful."

Munt nodded.



The brats—-that is, Viatrix and Beah--were actually out of their room 
when Kiyone, Ryoko, and Tris walked into the house.  They made faces 
at Kiyone, ignored Ryoko, and smiled fetchingly at Tris.

"It's nice that you boys thought to put on a picnic for us," Viatrix 
said.  She batted patently false eyelashes at Tris.

"So nice..." Beah cooed.

Tris looked a bit nonplussed.  "Well, that's fine, girls, but nearly 
all the work was done by Sasami and the others.  Me, I just hunted 
for rocks."

"And not very well, either," Kiyone murmured. 

Viatrix and Beah looked at the Galaxy Police officer with disdain.  
The lady cop wore just a pair of navy slacks and a cream-colored 
blouse with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows.  She was barefoot, 
too.  Hardly any makeup.  Just plain-looking earrings for jewelry.  
Both girls felt that Detective Split Ends didn't need just a makeover, 
but a major reconstruction, before she'd attract any guys.  At least 
that odd woman with the big, spiky platinum hair showed some style--
she wore a tight black body stocking beneath a short gray silk tunic—-
and she had interesting shoes, small black bootlets, actually (Ryoko 
had once again neglected to exchange her street shoes for house 
slippers).  The girls thought she still needed some makeup, though. 

Tenchi walked into the living room where they all stood.  The girls 
made the same teenaged moves on him as they had on Tris.  He looked 
at them quizzically.  Then he said, "I think we'll all need to carry 
something outside.  Why don't—-"

"Not us, surely, Tenchi," Viatrix breathed to him.  "After all--we're 
guests."  

"That's right."  Beah smiled archly.  "Guests."

"Uhhhh...of course."  Tenchi nodded.  Above all, these rather trying 
girls really were guests and it was very important that they have a 
good time.  "I'm certain the rest of us can carry it all.  Sasami 
certainly cooked up a storm.  You'll see."  He smiled at the girls.

"It so important for little kids to have a hobby," Viatrix approved, 
quite the sophisticate.

"Yes," added Beah.  "It keeps them from bothering the adults."

Suddenly they all heard something clatter, loudly and pointedly.  The 
sound came from the kitchen.  Sasami had sharp ears.

"It's so hard to grasp large objects with such little hands at that 
age."  Viatrix sighed.  She smiled winsomely at both Tenchi and Tris.  
Beah followed her girlfriend's lead.  Ryoko took a step toward the 
girls, not exactly smiling at them.

"Ahhh...let's go in the kitchen and grab some stuff," Tenchi said, a 
bit nervously.

"Yes, let's," Tris agreed quickly.

"You'd better," Kiyone muttered.  Ryoko nodded her full agreement.



Ginkar and Munt, still crouched behind the tree, watched the group 
depart the house, most of them carrying bowls and cups or covered 
dishes or Thermos bottles of tea.  The only ones not carrying anything 
were Viatrix and Beah.  The two teen girls were each walking beside 
the heavily laden Tenchi and Tris, talking to them a mile a minute and 
generally flirting with them.  This did not set well at all with the 
two Souiisian techie geeks.

"Well, there are the babes.  But look...they're jawing with those two 
swabby dudes," Munt muttered.

"Yeah.  Looks like that one dude ain't content with that teal-haired 
chick.  He wants Beah too, the creep."  Privately, Ginkar admitted 
to himself that he would be more than happy having just the teal-
haired chick pay attention to him.  Some dudes had all the luck.

"And that new dude...looks like a drood with those eyes...he's making 
time with Viatrix.  He needs a fist facial," Munt growled.

"That's tight and right!"



Actually, Tenchi and Tris were chatting with Viatrix and Beah on the 
way to the picnic spot out of politeness and because they had little 
choice.  The two girls clung to their already burdened arms like glue.  
Neither young man had any idea that they were, in fact, cruising for a 
bruising--or at least a fist facial.

"So you're the man of the house around here," Viatrix said to Tenchi.  
"I'm sure that's a big job, keeping all these women in line."

Tenchi laughed nervously, imagining the reaction that comment had 
drawn from at least a few of the women.  "No one keeps anyone in line, 
Viatrix.  We all get along just fine."

"I'm glad.  I knew you were in charge the moment I saw you.  These 
women must pester you awfully, but I'll bet you're looking for 
something different."

Tenchi laughed again, a bit more nervously.  It seemed a long walk to 
the picnic blanket.

Beah said to Tris, "We're so glad we have you big strong men to look 
out for us, Handsome."

Tris raised an eyebrow.  "Really?  Then who's going to look out for 
the big strong men?"

Beah laughed.  "You're funny...cute boys are always funny."

"Funny, all right," Kiyone muttered behind them as she carried Thermos 
bottles.  "Hilarious."    

In her wake, Ayeka and Ryoko, similarly burdened, glared at Viatrix.  
Behind them, Sasami and Mihoshi, carrying their items, brought up the 
rear.  They both looked a bit worried.



"Hey, they're gonna eat out here.  That's food on that blanket."  
Nothing much got past Munt.

"Figures the natives on this podunk planet would eat with the bugs and 
all," Ginkar opined.  "Those new chicks look pretty fine...even the 
little one."

"Wonder if they hit, too?"

"Don't know, Munt my man, but we may find out.  They don't look too 
jazzed about something."

"You see anything like cops around?" Munt asked, still a bit nervous 
about the impending rescue.  He saw that the group had settled on the 
blanket and were commencing to eat.

"Naw.  Just the babes, the chicks, and the two dudes.  Nothing that 
looks like the law.  The cops must've zipped for a while.  Probably 
part of the nicey-nice act for Viatrix and Beah."

"That's gotta be right.  Those two dudes ain't cops.  Besides, the 
one cop yakin' on the GP line we hacked was a chick.  The big chick 
and the little chick there in the robes ain't cops...look kinda like 
the royal chicks on Jurai."

"Can't be...royal Jurai chicks on this hick planet?"  Ginkar chuckled.

"You read it and said it, Gink!"  Munt chuckled, too.  "Must be local 
royals.  Now, that crazy-looking chick with that big hair and that 
tight outfit...she can't be a cop.  She's gotta be some wild Earthling 
chick.  And that teal-haired chick ain't no cop...cops don't lay 
around necking with dudes on duty.  That blonde and tanned chick, 
now...look!  She dropped that sauce on her lap.  Now she's tipped over 
her drink trying to wipe it off.  She's no cop!"

"See?  No cops.  No problems," Ginkar said.  "Even better than we 
planned."

"Only problem is those two swabby dudes, going for our chicks."

"Yeah, that's steaming me, too."

>From their vantage point behind the tree, the two techie geeks now 
studied Tenchi and Tris, who (through no fault of their own) were 
seated on the picnic blanket with Viatrix and Beah.  Neither of 
those two swabby dudes looked particularly muscle-bound.  That, along 
with the fact that Viatrix and Beah were actually trying to feed 
Tenchi and Tris, prompted Ginkar and Munt to make a fateful decision.

"This is going to be more than a rescue," Ginkar said venomously.  
"This is going to be a Earth dude teachin' session."

"Yeah," Munt muttered.  "We'll teach 'em what fists are used for 
besides eatin'!"



Evidently, Tenchi and Tris's fists were not for eatin' either, since 
Viatrix and Beah kept attempting to force-feed the two young men 
themselves.  The two girls had read somewhere that men love this.  Men 
don't.

"Here, Tenchi," Viatrix cooed.  "Have another dumpling...oops!  I'm 
sorry about your nice shirt.  These—-what do you call them?--oh, yes, 
chopsticks--are a bit much for little old me."

"Yes," Ayeka muttered to Ryoko.  "They do require some basic motor 
skills."

"I'll show her how to use chopsticks," Ryoko muttered back, "to pick 
up her teeth!"

"That's all right, Viatrix."  Tenchi's hand held the back of his head 
while he laughed unconvincingly, a sure sign he was nervous.  He 
glanced at Ayeka and Ryoko, both of whom looked coldly back.

"Wouldn't you like another carrot stick?" Beah asked Tris, aiming one 
toward his mouth.

"No thanks.  Ryo-Ohki has the concession on those."

Ryo-Ohki, who had joined the picnic, meower-ed affirmatively.  Too 
late.  Tris was now eating carrot, whether he wanted to or not.

"Don't be upset," Kiyone said to Ryo-Ohki, stroking the cabbit's long, 
fluffy ears.  "The big, strong man can't help it.  The big, strong man 
can't even feed himself."

The last two participants in the picnic were feeding themselves, but 
not enjoying it particularly.

"I don't like this, much," Sasami whispered to Mihoshi.

"I don't like it at all," Mihoshi whispered back.  She was still 
upset at spilling soy sauce on her nice denims with all the zippers 
and snaps.  She was glad she had decided not to bring Trissy.  The 
plush pooch would have found very little to wag her tail about at 
this picnic.

"You men are so helpless sometimes," Viatrix laughed softly, as Tenchi 
tried to swab the dumpling stain off his shirt with a napkin.  The 
picnic was already adding to the laundry chores considerably.  "You 
need a woman to take care of you."

"I can take care of myself, thanks," Tenchi said shortly.

Viatrix seemed unfazed by his manner.  "I could wash that for you."

"Yeah...in the lake," Ryoko muttered to Ayeka.  "Maybe she'll fall 
in!"

Beah was being equally adorable to Tris.  "You sure look funny with 
that carrot piece on your cheek," she tittered, wiping it off.

Tris raised an eyebrow at her.  "I'll have you know that I did not 
come here to be tittered at," he said.

"The big, strong man hasn't heard half the tittering he's going to 
hear," Kiyone cooed to Ryo-Ohki.  "Has he?"



Just when things couldn't have gotten any worse from Tenchi's and 
Tris's point of view, they got worse.  Ginkar and Munt decided to 
make their move.  

The two teenaged techie geeks broke from the cover of the tree, 
sprinted to the picnic spot, and fell upon Tenchi and Tris.  Tenchi 
received Ginkar's attention, whilst Munt paid his respects to Tris.

Tenchi and Tris, rising just as their peripheral vision picked up the 
two shapes hurtling toward them, were forced off the blanket and onto 
the grass.  Quickly, sensing a fast and easy victory, Ginkar and Munt 
weighed into them, arms swinging, fists flying, breath chugging 
(techie geeks don't get a lot of exercise as a rule).

The women and Sasami also rose.  So did the two teen girls.  The 
girls recognized their would-be rescuers.  "Oh, gack!"  The creepiest 
boys in their school!  What were they doing here?  "Go away!"

The women watched the sudden dual title card bouts with amazement and 
consternation.  Fistfights are not generally an accepted part of the 
picnic experience.  "Who are those two clowns?" Kiyone asked, 
perturbed mightily.

Ryoko glanced shrewdly at the two teen girls, who were flushed with 
anger and wringing their hands.  "Don't know.  But I bet I know who 
does." 

"Stop it!" Mihoshi wailed at the two scraggly interlopers.  "Don't you 
hit Tenchi or Tris...I'll arrest you!"  In her dismay, she had 
forgotten that she couldn't.

"Calm down, Mihoshi," Kiyone told her.  "I think our boys can handle 
this."

"They knocked over the vegetable salad!"  Sasami moaned.  "I spent all 
morning making it!"

"Oh, dear," Ayeka said, nonplussed by the sudden end of the picnic.  
Then she detected movement behind her.  She turned.  Azaka II and 
Kamidake II were hovering a few feet away, ready to blast if anyone 
made a move toward the Princess.

"Shall we assist Lord Tenchi and Tristram Coffin, Princess?" Azaka II 
inquired politely.

"It would be our pleasure," Kamidake II added.

"No," Ayeka said, smiling slightly.  "I do not think that will be 
necessary."

Meanwhile, the fight, such as it was, began to heat up.

Ginkar bulled himself at Tenchi.  From the way the swabby dude backed 
up, Ginkar knew he was yellow.  The perfect type to beat to a pulp.  
He got in a lucky punch, grazing Tenchi's jaw, stingingly.  It was a 
mistake.

Although Tenchi Masaki had defeated the most powerful (and the 
outright nastiest) villain in the galaxy, he had been taught to avoid 
fighting whenever possible.  Tenchi was amiable, quiet, very slow to 
anger, extraordinarily forgiving, and had a high tolerance level 
(which explained his friendship with Tris).  In short, Tenchi was 
almost too good for this wicked old world.  Except for one thing...he 
was a flesh-and-blood nineteen-year-old male, and he had not been 
raised to turn the other cheek just to receive another punch in the 
jaw.

Tenchi dropped into his combat stance.  He cocked his fists.  Ginkar 
laughed at the stupid Earth move and came in swinging.  Tenchi's fists 
shot out like rapid-fire artillery.  Four "shuto" punches—-two in the 
stomach, two in the face—-hit Ginkar.  The sharp, hard, powerful blows 
poleaxed the techie geek.  He tried to recover with a bear hug.  All 
he received for his pains was more pain--a roundhouse (or "yoko geri 
kekomi") kick that slammed into his left side and sent him reeling.  
Ginkar plunged down to the grass and lay there to painfully 
contemplate the fact that Earth girls may be easy, but Earth guys 
weren't.

"That-a-boy, sweetums!"  Ryoko cheered her hero.  "Kick him again!  
He's not bleeding enough yet!"

"Yes, well done, Lord Tenchi!" Ayeka cried.  "That is the way to 
punish him for spoiling our picnic!"

"Tenchi, yay!" Mihoshi cried.  "Hey...look at Tris!"

"Go get 'em, Tiger!" Kiyone shouted out adoringly.

"Wow..." said Sasami.

Like Tenchi, Tris had been brought up not to fight unless it was 
unavoidable.  His father had taught him to use his dukes and his 
mother had reprimanded him when he did.  It was a typical American 
upbringing.  Accordingly, he also backed up and tried to avoid Munt's 
punches.  He tried to talk to Munt, but Munt wasn't listening.

Munt was pleased by this apparent cowardly reaction, just as his 
techie geek buddy had been.  Just for fun, he kicked Tris in the 
shin.  Tris hopped, inadvertently imitating Ryo-Ohki.  Munt laughed.

Tris stopped hopping.  He saw red.

As mentioned previously in this chronicle, Tris had grown up in the 
mean streets of childhood, where he had been taunted by that accursed 
nickname "Trissy."  He had stopped the taunts with his fists.  Now the 
old anger filled him, and so did his old form.  He immediately dropped 
down and jabbed Munt directly in the solar plexus.  Munt stopped 
laughing, as the air rushed out of him.  He doubled over.  Tris rose.  
Munt was in the perfect position.  Tris executed a textbook uppercut, 
his fist whistling in the prescribed arc, so that his up-rocketing 
fist met Munt's down-drooping chin.  Tris's punch lifted Munt fully to 
his feet, actually raised him in the air a tad, and sent him sprawling 
to Earth.  Seconds later, Munt lay spread-eagle on the turf, dazed, 
defeated, dizzy, and damning Gink for cooking up this scheme.

"I do not believe it," Ayeka said wonderingly.

"That's the way to teach that guy some manners, Tris!"  Ryoko 
laughed.  "What a punch!"

"Did you see that?" Mihoshi asked Sasami.  "Tris lifted that guy in 
the air.  It was so neat!"

"Just like on TV!" Sasami agreed.  "Cool!"

"Oh, you angel!" Kiyone cried.  "That's my Tiger!"

Tris observed the now prone Munt with some amount of interest.  Then 
it was Tris's turn to examine his knuckles with satisfaction.  The old 
Sunday punch.  It never failed.  A small distance away, Tenchi also 
contemplated his fallen foe.  He did not look triumphant by any means, 
but he also did not look entirely unpleased, either.  A few lingering 
frustrations had been vented and in a most satisfying manner.

"You know, Princess," Ryoko muttered to Ayeka.  "We could have stopped 
this fight cold with a couple of force beams."

"I am so glad we did not intervene," Ayeka muttered back.  "Our dear 
boys deserve a little victory."

Ryoko nodded.  Tenchi had sure made her proud of him...the honey boy.  
And that Tris!  He had really shown her something again.

"Inefficient but effective," Azaka II rendered its judgment on the 
fighting techniques displayed.  The Guardians had returned to their 
usual posts by the front gate.

"You are correct.  The humans seem to take pleasure in observing such 
combat, however...even the Princess," Kamidake II noted.

Plaudits aside, it had proved to be a rather quick dual bout.  Paying 
customers would have demanded their money back.  The late Bruce Lee, 
who knew something about personal combat, once commented that any 
street fight that lasted more than five minutes could only happen in 
the movies.(1)  He was right.

Tenchi and Tris each hauled their respective fallen opponent to their 
feet.  Each of the teen techie geeks from Souiis struggled.  Each had 
their arms pinned behind their backs, somewhat painfully.  Tenchi and 
Tris were not overly generous in victory.  Ginkar and Munt seemed the 
type to slip in a sucker punch if so allowed.

Kiyone and Mihoshi proceeded to take charge.  Clearly, the two 
interlopers were not from Earth.  This was police work now.

"I am Detective Makibi of the Galaxy Police, and this is Detective 
Kuramitsu," Kiyone said formally.  She produced what looked like a 
pen.  The "pen" instantly dropped a hair-thin screen that displayed 
her Galaxy Police credentials.  She retracted the pen-ID and returned 
it to her jeans pocket.  "Who are you two?" she demanded.

Ginkar and Munt glowered but held their tongues.

"Where do you come from?  Which planet?"  

Eloquent looks of truculence but no spoken answer came from the two.

"Search them, Detective Kuramitsu."

"Must I?"  Mihoshi looked dubiously at Ginkar and Munt.  Neither 
looked particularly clean after their trip from Souiis in a makeshift 
ship that did not have proper bathing facilities factored into the 
design.

"Yes, Detective Kuramitsu.  Do it."

Mihoshi did it, efficiently but not happily.  She handed Kiyone a 
control cube.

"This is a control cube for your ship...isn't it?" Kiyone asked.

"You can't arrest us here!"  Munt had finally decided to bless the 
proceedings with his input, although he didn't exactly answer the 
question put to him.  He saw now that he and Ginkar had figured wrong.  
The teal-haired chick and the blonde chick were cops, after all.  "You 
can't make us talk, cop!"  

"Maybe not...but we can sure break your arms," Tris told him 
pleasantly.  He tightened his grip on Munt's arms.  Munt moaned.

"He's bluffin', man," Ginkar said.

"No, I'm not, man," Tris said mildly.  "I'm not with these civilized 
folks.  I'm a savage Earthling who just learned to walk upright the 
day before yesterday, and I like to break arms."

Kiyone's eyes glowed at him.  Ginkar's eyes glowered at him.  Munt's 
eyes closed as the pain increased.  Tenchi just watched, holding 
Ginkar tightly.  He knew Tris would not go too far...and they needed 
answers.

"You know, I'm enjoying the hell out of all this."  Ryoko smiled.  "I 
really am.  But you're arm-twisting the wrong twits."

"Huh?" Tenchi asked.  "What do you mean?"  

Ryoko walked up to Viatrix and Beah.  "I watched these two brats when 
those bozos first arrived.  They recognized them, all right."

"We did not!" Viatrix yelled.

Beah remembered her part.  She stuck out her tongue at Ryoko.

But Ryoko, the legendary space pirate, could not be buffaloed...not by 
Galactic Depository vaults, not by Galaxy Police dragnets, and most 
certainly not by two rather pitiful teenaged girls.  She crossed her 
arms as she confronted Viatrix and Beah.  "If you think that Tris is 
mean," she said icily, "just wait until I start in on you.  Now talk!"

Looking into Ryoko's glittering golden eyes, the two girls knew she 
was not kidding.

"Listen, you two," Kiyone said to Viatrix and Beah, taking control of 
the situation again.  "If I have to, I'll take these boys into custody 
and run them through a scan on our ship.  We'll find out who they are 
and what connection they have to you, never fear."

Viatrix and Beah looked at each other.  It was hopeless, they knew.  
Besides, they were in the clear.

"They're just two boys from our school," Viatrix said.  "We hardly 
even know them."

"Yeah, they're awful...from the geek brigade," Beah amplified.  "The 
worst!"

Kiyone now turned to the two pinioned boys.  "Do you want to tell us 
your names now?"

The two techie geeks appeared more cooperative.  The less than adoring 
words from their would-be rescued admirers had knocked some of the 
stuffing out of them.

"Ginkar Ter'tran."

"Munt Yo'ost." 

"That's better," Kiyone said.  "And you are both from Souiis?"

"Yeah," Munt answered.  Tris had greatly eased up on the pressure, but 
the young techie geek wasn't going anywhere.

"Say, "Yes, Detective,"" Kiyone instructed him.  

Munt grimaced.  "You can't arrest us here!  We know that!"

Kiyone walked up to him.  "I can't arrest you here on Earth for an 
Earth offense, that's true.  But for a Union offense...I assume you 
have the required authorization to be in a restricted area?"

Munt did not reply.  He looked a bit sick.

"Of course you don't.  So I'll be obliged to search your ship.  Those 
girls called you geeks.  On Souiis, that's short for "techie geeks."  
I wonder how much illegal scanning and hacking equipment I'll find on 
your ship?"

"Don't say nothing more, Munt," Ginkar advised, but a bit less brashly 
now.

"He won't need to," Kiyone said.  "The illegal equipment you used to 
sneak in here and to find out where these girls were being quartered 
will speak loudly enough."

"That's right," Mihoshi said.  "We don't like being hacked and 
cracked.  It's mean.  It's also illegal."

Now both boys looked sick.

"If you're going to hurl," Tris advised Munt, "please don't do it 
facing the wind."

"So these are your boyfriends," Ryoko said to Viatrix and Beah.

"Gack!  They are not!"  Viatrix was aghast.

"You make us sick saying that!" Beah added, looking a little green, 
in fact.

Ryoko laughed mockingly.  "But I don't believe you."  She walked 
slowly toward the section of the picnic blanket where Princess Ayeka 
stood.  "No, you're lying.  Why would even boys this stupid risk years 
in galactic prison on a wild-goose chase?  No, they didn't just up and 
come here on their own.  They're too dim for that.  I think you 
contacted them and asked them to come and take you away from the mean 
old Galaxy Police."

"That's a lie!" Viatrix shouted.

"A big lie!" Beah amplified.

Ryoko walked past Ayeka.  She covertly winked at her.

Ayeka then realized where Ryoko was heading with her tactics.  It was 
Ayeka's turn now.  The Princess smiled grimly.  This was going to be 
a distinct pleasure.

"And I do not believe your tawdry lies, either," Ayeka told the two 
girls.  "As First Princess of Jurai, I have a duty to support the 
efforts of law enforcement.  This is clearly a conspiracy to thwart 
the ends of justice by attempting an escape from lawful authority 
through illegal means.  You girls are now in very deep trouble."

"You have to prove what you say!" Viatrix shouted again.  Then she 
remembered to add, "Princess."

Beah began to blubber, on cue.

"Shut up, Beah.  You know it's not true.  She can't prove anything!"

Ayeka laughed.  "My dear!  It is not I who will have to prove it.  It 
is for you to disprove it.  I am convinced.  I will so report to the 
Galaxy Police--to the Grand Marshall and the High Commissioner, as 
well."

Viatrix visibly crumpled.  The Jurai royal family held the ultimate 
influence in the Galactic Union.  Princess Ayeka's sentiments would 
carry enormous weight.  Even Viatrix's Daddy couldn't match such pull 
and wouldn't even try.  

Beah sobbed.

"Shut up, Beah!" Viatrix said again.  "How could we have contacted 
them anyway?" she added, suddenly seeing a ray of light.  "Our ship 
was totaled by these two cops.  And there's nothing around here to 
communicate with."

Kiyone stepped forward and squelched that ray.  "After you blundered 
into our warning shot, the force of it shut down your engines and 
broke the mandatory hold we had on your comm equipment.  While 
Detective Kuramitsu and I were gaining access to your ship, you had 
plenty of time—-and battery power—-to contact your boyfriends."

Viatrix visibly gave up.  It was enough, she knew.  She didn't even 
contradict the word "boyfriends," although it made her want to gag.

Beah continued to sob quietly.

The two teen boys hung their heads.  They didn't both to contradict 
the teal-haired cop.  They knew they were screwed, royally screwed—-so 
to speak.

Tenchi looked at Beah and Viatrix...and at Ginkar and Munt.  "They're 
really just kids.  Stupid kids.  But just kids."  He released Ginkar.  
Tris did likewise with Munt.

"That is a point, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said.  "It seems a shame to 
wreck such young lives, and to go through all that red tape..."

Four teenaged heads rose.  Beah stopped crying.  They all seemed to 
sense that a chance was going to be offered to them.

"I think," Ayeka continued, "that since these boys came all this way, 
they should not leave empty-handed."

Tenchi, Tris, Kiyone, and Ryoko grinned covertly as all four pairs 
of teenage eyes locked on Princess Ayeka now.  Then Sasami grinned, 
too...she caught on now.  Mihoshi frowned a bit, but then she saw a 
glimmering of what was happening.  She smiled.

"If you boys will take these girls with you...and go straight back to 
Souiis...and do it quickly enough to prevent Viatrix's father from 
going to the expense of having to send a ship," Ayeka speculated 
aloud.  "And if you girls tell the truth now to your parents and the 
Galaxy Police officers on Souiis...how you tried to escape in your 
cruiser from the Galaxy Police and simply blundered into the warning 
shot...and also tell how fairly and well you have been treated since 
then..."  Ayeka pursed her lips.  "Yes.  I could be persuaded to 
suggest to the authorities that the matter be dropped."

The expelling of four teenaged breaths was audible, mingling with the 
twittering of birds, the soft hum of insects, and the muted splash of 
fish breaking the surface of the silvery lake, then diving deep again 
with some of those insects in their mouths.  Not all picnics had been 
interrupted.

"Do you find that satisfactory, Detectives?" Ayeka asked.

"We do--if your suggestions are followed to the letter," Kiyone 
answered.  Mihoshi nodded her assent.  She really didn't want the poor 
kids jailed, no matter what they did or tried to do.

Viatrix and Beah looked at each other.  They nodded, too.  Ginkar and 
Munt didn't even bother to nod.  It was obvious that they would grasp 
the straw that Princess Ayeka had offered them.

"Of course, we'll first search your ship and confiscate your illegal 
hacking and cracking equipment," Kiyone told Ginkar and Munt.  "And 
then we'll escort you and your passengers out of the restricted area.  
Right?"

Now Ginkar and Munt both nodded slowly, defeated.  Earth girls weren't 
easy.  Earth guys weren't easy.  GP officers weren't easy.  Princesses 
weren't easy.  The only thing that was easy was getting caught.



"It was great of Ayeka to go with Kiyone and Mihoshi on Yogami to add 
her report to theirs," Tenchi said a little while later.  "She really 
saved the day."

"Yeah," admitted Ryoko.  "This isn't for general publication, but the 
Princess did real good."

Tenchi, Tris, Ryoko, Sasami, and even Washuu (who had been monitoring 
interspace communications, had heard part of the report transmitted 
from the Yogami to GP Headquarters, and had left her lab to 
investigate) sat at the dining room table.  They were having a late 
lunch to compensate for the aborted picnic.

In the kitchen, the picnic containers were piled up by the sink.  
Most of the food had been salvaged.  And Sasami was brewing some 
fresh tea.  The little girl sang as she measured the tea leaves.  She 
was so proud of her big sister!  She heard Tris say to Ryoko:

"The Princess sure did a great job as the clean-up batter.  But you 
put the men on the bases, Ryoko."  Tris's voice was admiring.

"Huh?" asked Ryoko.  "Oh, yeah, baseball.  Well, thanks, slugger!"  
She smiled at Tris.

"Hey, you're the slugger!  You and Ayeka.  You ladies carry Louisville 
Sluggers and you don't have to choke up on the bat, either."

"Really?  Well, thanks again!"  Ryoko really did not follow baseball, 
even Japanese baseball, that closely, but she knew a heartfelt 
compliment when she heard one.

"Enough baseball talk, please," Washuu requested.

Sasami entered the dining room with the freshly brewed tea.  She sat 
the teapot on the table.  "Do you think that Kiyone and Mihoshi will 
be treated okay by the GP?  They won't get in trouble now?" she asked, 
seating herself at the table.  

Washuu nodded.  "From what I heard, I predict smooth sailing.  Maybe 
even commendations for those two."

"I'll drink to that," Tenchi said, pouring tea.

"Hey--speaking of drinking--let's have a party to celebrate tonight.  
Sake and everything!"  Ryoko's eyes sparkled.

Tenchi grinned.  "Why not?  Of course, I'll have to ask Dad and 
Grandfather--"

"Ask Grandfather what, Tenchi?"

Lord Yosho walked into the dining room.  It was time for his post-
picnic lunch, as pre-arranged that morning.  He smiled at the group.  
"I had not expected company with my repast, but it most welcome."  He 
sat down at the table.

"Well, Grandfather--listen to this."  Tenchi detailed the morning's 
and afternoon's events, including Washuu's preliminary estimate of the 
probable results.

Yosho smiled broadly.  "That is excellent news, indeed.  It is the 
outcome that I had hoped for."

"It is, Grandfather?"  

"Yes, Tenchi.  These were just children causing the upset.  You do not 
want to heavily punish or incarcerate children.  They learn no lessons 
that way, only resentment.  I believe that the girls and boys involved 
will learn a valuable lesson from this.  And thankfully, our two 
Detectives will have no stain on their records from this unfortunate 
episode."

"Well, I'll go along with you there about Kiyone and Mihoshi, Lord 
Yosho," Ryoko said.  "But I doubt if those four dimwits learned 
anything except that they got away with it.  That's the only bad part 
of how it all turned out."

"Indeed?  I really do believe that the lesson will stick with those 
youngsters, Ryoko," Yosho told her.  "It is certainly an uncomfortable 
time they will have to endure with their parents and the authorities."

"Well, maybe they will learn something from this, Lord Yosho.  But I 
wouldn't make book on it."

"Yet Ryoko, that is what we do all our lives--make book on people, as 
you express it.  Sometimes our wager is wasted.  Most of the time, 
however, it is not."  Yosho smiled at her and turned to Tenchi.  
"Didn't you want to ask me something, grandson?"

"Yes, Grandfather."  The hidden meaning of his grandfather's words was 
not lost on Tenchi.  He hoped they were not lost on Ryoko.  "We'd like 
to have a small party tonight, when Ayeka and Kiyone and Mihoshi 
return.  We'd also like to serve sake, if that's all right."

"Quite all right," Lord Yosho agreed.  "A party is a splendid idea.  
It is a time for celebration.  I'm certain your father will agree."

"Thanks, Grandfather," Tenchi said.  "Of course, you and Dad are 
invited, too."

"Well, we would certainly make an appearance.  But this party is for 
you young people."

"You're the greatest, sir," Tris told Lord Yosho.

"That's no lie!" Ryoko added.

Washuu said, "I might even attend this party."

"Please do, Washuu," Sasami pleaded, smilingly.

"Of course she will," Tenchi said.  "Tonight, we all celebrate!"



As it turned out, there was quite a bit to celebrate about.

When Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Ayeka walked into the house some hours 
later, all three were smiling widely--Kiyone's smile was the widest 
of all.

"Good new, I guess," Tenchi said, grinning.  They all stood in the 
living room, including Washuu.

"Very good news, indeed, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka confirmed.  "After I made 
my report and the girls finally told the truth, the High Commissioner 
personally praised Kiyone and Mihoshi.  The Grand Marshall was not 
available when we communicated with his office, but his executive 
officer also commended our Detectives."

"Wow!" said Washuu.  "That doesn't happen every day."

"It was so nice!"  Mihoshi's eyes were shining.  "The Commissioner 
said such sweet things and told us we needn't worry about an 
investigation.  He called me by my name, twice!"  Mihoshi was 
obviously thrilled.

"Even better," Kiyone added, her face radiant.  "Chief Bodai came on 
the comm line while the High Commissioner was talking to us and Ayeka.  
The Chief requested, in front of all of us, that the incident that got 
us busted down in grade be re-investigated."

"Now, I'll say "wow,"" Tris said.  "Wow!"

Kiyone smiled at him.  "The High Commissioner said he would ask the 
Grand Marshall that Chief Bodai be chosen to head up the re-
investigation.  Chief Bodai vowed to start from scratch!  No pre-
conceived notions."  Kiyone was all but dancing.  "It could mean we 
get our rank back!  Reassigned to Headquarters!"  She stopped and 
smiled at Ayeka.  "You made it happen, Ayeka.  I owe you—-I and 
Mihoshi owe you—-so very much."

She walked over and hugged a surprised Ayeka.  The Princess had not 
quite recovered from that when Mihoshi hugged her, too.

"Oh, my."  Ayeka smiled and shook her head.  "I just did what I could 
do..."

"But you did a lot, big sister!" Sasami told her fondly.

"Everybody here did a lot.  I am just happy it turned out so well," 
Ayeka said.

"Don't I get a hug, too?" Ryoko asked.

"You sure do!"  Kiyone walked up to Ryoko and hugged her.  Then 
Mihoshi hugged the space pirate also, almost knocking her down in the 
process.

"Steady girl," Ryoko told her.  "I'm not that ugly stuffed mutt, you 
know."  Mihoshi just laughed delightedly.

"I thought the High Commissioner was going to have a heart attack when 
he saw Ayeka with us through the viewscreen!"  Kiyone grinned.

Mihoshi giggled.  "Didn't his face turn red, though!"

"Bet that just made his day, all right," Washuu said.

Ayeka looked demure.  "Possibly it did catch him by surprise.  But he 
was quite fair in his dealings with us.  I fear that Viatrix's father 
may have some heavy weather ahead, though, with the High Commissioner.  
Poor man."

"Hah!" Ryoko said.  She was now floating in the air, a few feet above 
the floor in fact, not because she particularly needed to but because 
she could now.  "That chump raised that brat.  He deserves what he 
gets!"

Ayeka did not agree, but she did not bother to contest Ryoko's 
assertion.

"And another great thing...those two brats are gone!  We're free of 
them!"  Ryoko floated higher, grinning with relief.

This time Ayeka did agree with Ryoko--one hundred percent.

"That's so great," Tenchi said to his grandfather and to Tris.  The 
three of them stood together now a small distance away, observing the 
women.

"It is a happy outcome, Tenchi, and not before time for our two 
Detectives," his grandfather agreed. 

"Yes, sir.  Finally getting a break, those two," Tris said.  "It's 
enough to make me believe in Santa Claus again."

"When did you ever stop believing?" Tenchi jibed.

"When I was sixteen.  I checked my Christmas stocking that year and 
no swimsuit model!  The welcher!  I'm still waiting for the aircraft 
carrier I asked for in grade school, too."

Tenchi looked at Lord Yosho.  "Why did we ask him to stay on, again, 
Grandfather?"

Lord Yosho only smiled.

At that point, everyone separated to go about his or her business 
before dinner.  Tris decided to take this opportunity ask Washuu 
about how she got herself blackballed—-twice--from the Royal Science 
Academy (Tenchi had mentioned it to him).  Someone grabbed his arm 
and stopped him, however.  It was Kiyone.  "Come with me, you," she 
said.

"Coming quietly, officer," Tris told her.

She led him down the hallway to Tenchi's and his room.  Yes, it was 
their room again.  He and Tenchi had wasted no time after cleaning up 
the picnic mess and having lunch to take down the tent and store it 
away and then put their bedroom back in order.  Spending one night in 
a tent had convinced the two young men that they were not boys any 
more.  They valued their comfort now.

Following Kiyone, Tris noted how she filled out her Galaxy Police 
uniform.  The tight uniform pants and form-fitting tunic looked 
particularly fetching on her.  She had doffed the rather silly 
looking brimless cap and her silken teal hair hung in soft dark waves 
down her back.  Kiyone was a desireable and beautiful woman even in 
her uniform.  He could have done without the hand weapon in the 
shoulder holster, though.

They reached the bedroom.  Kiyone went right in.  Tris followed, 
sliding the door shut behind him.

Tenchi wasn't there, of course.  Tris looked at Kiyone inquiringly.  
Kiyone smiled at him.  She walked up to him.  She kept smiling at 
him, her eyes aglow.  She wrapped her arms around his neck.  Tris 
could figure out where this was leading.  

"What if Tenchi walks in—-?"  Tris did not finish.  Kiyone's lips 
stopped him.

It was a while, a warm, lazy while, before they broke.  "Let him," 
Kiyone said.  They kissed again.

"Well..."  Tris caught his breath when their lips parted.  "Take a 
guy to his bedroom and just think you can have your way with him.  I 
like it."

Kiyone looked at him with those wonderful violet blue eyes.  She moved 
her head so her lips found one of his ears.  "Everything is working 
out so great, Tris," she murmured in that ear.

"I know," he said.  "Your comeback has begun."

"Yes, I'm very happy about the reprieve and the re-investigation, of 
course.  I'm walking on air, Tris.  But it's not just because these 
wonderful things are happening.  It's also because I have a guy I can 
share them with...the same guy who supported me and made me laugh and 
feel so good when things seemed so rotten...a hopeless, wonderful 
idiot who really impressed me today."

"Well, we idiots have our moments."

Kiyone softly kissed his ear.  "You know, Tris, I've thought about 
what you told me about your parents.  I kind of wish there was a 
drive-in movie around here." 

"Yeah, drive-ins never caught on here.  Something to do with 
population density and land prices.  Too bad.  When you want to have 
a necking party with your favorite girl and Daddy-san gives you the 
keys to the Toyota...where do you go?  In all the time I lived here, 
I've never figured it out."

They both heard Sasami's voice announcing dinner.

But there was time for one more kiss.

"Let's go have dinner," Kiyone said afterward, taking his hand.  "I'm 
starving!"



After a triumphant dinner provided by Sasami to mark the triumphant 
day, the celebration--in the form of a sake party--began.

The party went well into the wee hours.  Midnight had come and gone 
long ago, but Tenchi, Tris, Kiyone, Ryoko, Ayeka, and Mihoshi still 
sat on the living room couches, laughing and talking and sipping from 
their chokos (sake cups).  Both Lord Yosho and Nobuyuki had long since 
retired politely, Washuu had stumbled back to her sub-dimensional lair 
(she knew her sake limit), and Sasami had been sent to bed...which 
meant that she sat in her nightgown at the top of the stairs, 
listening.  She petted Ryo-Ohki and fed the cabbit carrot sticks left 
over from the picnic.  Ryo-Ohki was in cabbit heaven.

The seating arrangement was as follows: Tenchi, Ryoko, and Ayeka on 
one couch, and Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Tris on the other.  They had all 
swapped places several times and each had shared a song or a story 
with the other.  But, as the evening wore down, social gravity took 
hold and Tenchi found himself wedged between Ayeka and Ryoko.  Not 
that he minded.  

Tris had been amazed at the amount of rice wine Ayeka had put away.  
Ryoko, of course, drank like a stevedore, but the Princess matched 
her, cup for cup.  A line of little white bottles stood like sake 
solders on the living room table.  Any would-be wolf who tried to get 
Ryoko or Ayeka drunk for immoral purposes would have found himself 
under the table long before either of them showed the slightest 
effect.  Mihoshi and Kiyone didn't hold their sake so well, which was 
all right, too, because it was, after all, a party.

Tenchi had only begun imbibing recently (as a college student, he 
felt entitled to).  Accordingly, he and Tris had sipped at their cups 
judiciously, which meant they were feeling no pain within a short 
time.  In fact, so painless did they become that they started a song 
competition between themselves.  Tenchi sang the original Japanese 
lyrics and Tris countered with the American lyrics to the old anime 
both had watched as kids: "Mach Go Go Go" (better known to Americans 
as "Speed Racer").(2) 

They each sang their version faithfully and badly.  When they 
finished, Tenchi and Tris gave themselves a round of applause.  The 
women just looked at them.

"Oh, yay!  Sing it again!"  Mihoshi bounced on the couch, somewhat 
erratically, spilling her and Kiyone's sake in the process.  She 
loved both versions of the song immediately.

"Don't you dare!" Ryoko warned Tenchi and Tris both.

"Mihoshi!" Kiyone started to scold as she felt sake splash on her 
dressy slacks.  Then, warmed by alcohol and the day's triumphs, she 
let it go and poured herself and Mihoshi some more sake.  Mihoshi 
gulped down her cup of rice wine.  She was thirsty after her 
cheering.

"Let me understand this," Ayeka said quite formally to Tenchi and 
Tris.  "You two are singing about a car that does not exist."

"Does too!"

"Yeah!"

Ayeka dropped the discussion.  It was pointless to argue with drunken 
children.

"I know a song!" Mihoshi announced.

"Oh, God," Ryoko muttered and swigged more sake.

Mihoshi stared to stand up and swayed a bit.  Drinking sake as if it 
was water was the culprit.  She slumped back on the couch and bumped 
into Kiyone, who involuntarily dumped more sake on her lap.  Kiyone 
looked at her sake-soaked slacks and laughed, helplessly.  The sake 
had really loosened her up.  Mihoshi looked at her partner's sake-
splashed slacks and began to shed sake-fueled tears.

"I'm sorry, Kiyone!  Your nice slacks!"

"Don't worry, Mihoshi...they're just slacks.  Don't cry.  What is 
your song?"  

Mihoshi immediately brightened.  She smiled at Tris.  "It's from 
American TV!  It's about a big family--just like us!"

"What? "The Addams Family"?" Tris cracked.

"No, that's not the name of the family!  It's such a sweet song!"

Mihoshi sang-—the theme to "The Brady Bunch."  She only got as far as 
the story of a man named Brady who was raising three sons solo--(3) 

"Not that song again!" Kiyone groaned, clamping her hand over 
Mihoshi's mouth.  "Please, Mihoshi!"

"Thank you, Kiyone.  Bless you," said Ayeka.  That seemed to be the 
general sentiment all around.  Kiyone then unstopped Mihoshi's mouth.  
Mihoshi looked disappointed.  

Then Ryoko decided to put on an aerial demonstration.  "Watch me!" 
she giggled.  She floated up to just below the ceiling beams and 
then started loop-the-looping, over and over again.  It was a 
beautiful thing to watch; the space pirate did it so effortlessly, 
just up and down...up and down...up and down...up and...then, holding 
her mouth, a greenish-faced Ryoko zoomed away to the toilet, quick.

Ayeka laughed so loud (a really brassy laugh that Tris would never 
have believed came from such a dignified young woman) that she 
tumbled to the floor.  She lay on the floor, still laughing.  "Can't 
hold her sake!" was the gist of Ayeka's comments about Ryoko's sudden 
departure.  The party was clearly on its last legs.

Tris was fully in sympathy with Ryoko.  Just watching her looping-
the-loop had made him queasy.  He decided to sit, very quietly, and 
lay off the sake.  Tenchi looked at him and nodded, understanding.  
He had already decided: No more sake for him.  

"Do you think Ryoko's all right?" a worried little voice spoke from 
the top of the stairs.

Ayeka stirred herself from the floor.  "Sasami!  Go to bed!  Go to 
sleep!"

"Can't!  You all are making too much noise!"

"Go to bed anyway!"

"Awwww..."

Finally marshaling his groggy reserves, Tenchi stood up from the 
couch, a bit unsteadily, and helped Ayeka rise from the floor.  Ayeka 
gave him a loving smile.  "Thank you, Lord Tenchi."

"You're welcome...Ayeka?"

The Princess sagged into his arms.  Tenchi thought it was pretty 
understandable, considering all the sake she had consumed.  "Why 
don't you go to bed, too, Ayeka?" he suggested, speaking a bit slowly 
and thickly.

"No...no, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said, snuggling against him.  "Do not 
want...those awful dreams...I would much rather...stay here with 
you...you are so nice and warm...Lord Tenchi..."

At the other couch, Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Tris stared at the Princess, 
all three of them taken aback at her forwardness.  The sake had done 
its sneaky work, even to Ayeka's iron constitution.

"I could never...have a bad dream...ever...with you near me, Lord 
Tenchi," Ayeka added, slurring her words just a smidgen.

Naturally, Ryoko returned from the bathroom at that moment, looking 
somewhat pale.  She eyed Ayeka, who was still leaning against Tenchi 
and smiling contentedly.

"Who did you say couldn't hold their sake?" Ryoko asked Ayeka.  
Fortunately, the space pirate chose to be amused.

"What do you mean, Ryoko?"  Ayeka took bleary-eyed notice of the 
space pirate.

"You're all over Tenchi like a cheap shirt.  That's not your usual 
style."

"I am not all over Lord Tenchi!  He was simply assisting me."

"It looks to me like you were helping yourself."  Ryoko grinned.  She 
walked over to Ayeka, took her from Tenchi, and sat her down on the 
couch.  "We wouldn't want you to fall again, Princess."

"I did not fall!"

Meanwhile, on the other couch, Mihoshi yawned hugely.  Then she 
rose, unsteadily, walked to the other end of the couch, and plopped 
down beside Tris.  Now he was between her and Kiyone.  Kiyone didn't 
notice.  She had laid her head on Tris's lap.  Her eyes were closed.  
Mihoshi now also leaned against Tris, her blonde head resting on his 
shoulder.  She closed her eyes.  Tris was beginning to feel like a 
mattress.

"They really can't hold their sake," Ryoko observed, referring to 
Kiyone and Mihoshi.  "Luckily, they have that big lumpy thing to lean 
against."

"Ryoko..." Tenchi said, but with a grin.

"From over here," Ayeka said, "it looks like a nice lumpy thing."  She 
smiled at Tris.  Then she leaned against Tenchi, letting her head loll 
on his shoulder, and closed her eyes.

"Hey..." said Ryoko.  She sat down on the other side of Tenchi.  Now 
her platinum head rested on his other shoulder.  She smiled and closed 
her eyes.

Tenchi looked at Tris.  He grinned.  "Hey, from one lumpy thing to 
another...why don't we get these girls to bed?"

Tris nodded, started to rise.  But Kiyone and Mihoshi's combined mass 
held him down.  "Fat chance," he told Tenchi.

"Who's fat?" Kiyone murmured from his lap.

"Please don't move, Tris," Mihoshi requested, her eyes still closed.  
"I'm trying to sleep."

Tris started to shrug and couldn't even do that.  "Guess I'm stuck," 
he told Tenchi.

"Yes, you are," Kiyone sleepily agreed.  "Boy, are you.  Someday I'll 
just tell you just how stuck you are."

"Well, I'm not."  Tenchi started to rise.  Ayeka and Ryoko both held 
him down.

"Yes you are, Tenchi, sweetums," Ryoko said.  "You're stuck with us."

"Indeed you are," Ayeka told him.

Tenchi looked at Ayeka, then at Ryoko.  Both still had their eyes 
closed, their heads resting on his shoulders.

"Now what do we do?" Tenchi asked, glancing at Tris.  He groaned.  
Tris's eyes were closed, too.

"Great...just great..."

But Tenchi smiled as he said it.



A few hours later, Sasami woke up.  It was early morning, she saw by 
the pale light that glowed through the blinds.  She sat up and rubbed 
her eyes.  She turned to check on Ayeka.  Her futon was empty.  Then 
Sasami noticed that all the other futons were empty, too.

Could they still be partying?  But no...the house was still and 
quiet.

Sasami rose and slipped on her robe and slippers.  She walked from 
the room, yawning.  She descended the stairs, still yawning.

She walked into the living room.  She stopped.  Everyone was sacked 
out on the couches.  Tenchi had fallen asleep, too.

Sasami smiled sleepily.  She walked over to the couch where her big 
sister sat.  Ayeka slept quietly, resting against Tenchi.  In fact, 
she seemed in the deepest of slumbers.  She did not stir at all.  
Sasami was glad.  It seemed those horrible dreams had finally played 
themselves out.

Sasami yawned, again, mightily.  Golly...looking at all the slumbering 
forms made her very sleepy, too.  It was way too early to make 
breakfast...too early to be up, really.

She smiled again.  Then she sat down on the couch beside Ayeka, 
leaned against her big sister, and closed her eyes.  In no time at 
all, she was asleep once more.



____________________________________________

CHAPTER NOTES:

(1)  Bruce Lee also insisted that the martial art he practiced was 
not karate.  When asked his opinion of those who tried to impress 
others by breaking boards with their hands, he answered, "Boards 
don't hit back."

(2)  The two versions of the theme song for this venerable anime 
reveal something interesting about the two cultures that composed 
them.  See for yourself.

The translated lyrics for "Mach Go Go Go":

Mach number five
Mach number five
Mach five, five, five
Step on the accelerator till Earth's end, young power go, go, go
Number five Mach machine, everyone watch its power
If it starts running, won't get behind
Let's go, good people's highway
Mach number five
Mach number five
Mach five, five, five
Even wind shivers the hair pin curves, young life go, go, go
White body Mach machine, pride and courage
Chest is burning with energy
Speed towards a victorious finish
Mach number five
Mach number five
Mach five, five, five

The lyrics for "Speed Racer":

Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer 
He's a demon on wheels 
He's a demon and he's gonna be chasing after someone 
He's gaining on you so you better look alive 
He's busy revving up the powerful Mach Five 
And when the odds are against him and there's da-angerous work to do 
You bet your life Speed Racer's gonna see it through 
Go Speed Racer 
Go Speed Racer 
Go Speed Racer, go 
He's off and flying as he guns the car around the track 
He's jamming down the pedal like he's never coming back 
Adventure's waiting just aheeeeeeeeaaaaad (Tris's voice cracked here)
Go Speed Racer 
Go Speed Racer 
Go Speed Racer, go! 


(3)  In case anyone doesn't know these lyrics, here they are:

It's the story
Of a man named Brady
Who was raising three boys on his own (Mihoshi giggled here for some 
reason)
They were four men
Living all together
And they were all alone—-(Kiyone's hand did its work here)