Copyrights & Stuff: All properties and characters from the Tenchi Muyo! and Tenchi in Tokyo television shows are all owned and licensed to Pioneer, AIC, and others. All quotes from the video game Zero Wing are all properties of Sega and any others involved in it. These are my fanfics, though because I wrote them! These fan fictions are for entertainment purposes only and are not for the purpose of commercial use or to gain any profit whatsoever. By: Drexle (nickname) E-mail: Bestpanda@aol.com Tenchi Multiplied!!!!! ::Author's Note: Sake Wars! Not Saki Wars! Get it right. I'm not sure why people call it saki, anways.:: Part 1: Sake Wars! A fog piles high across a stair-covered path cutting through the woods. One of these paths leads to the Masaki residence. A dark and shadowy figure slowly walks up this path in that direction, his motives unknown and his motives unwise. The figure steps up step after step, slowly inching towards the Masaki home. Rain falls upon his back, but he is too determined to head back now. The burden he drags with him is a large one, indeed. He knows he's made a good investment. Well, at least he thinks he has. He cannot quit after he's gotten this far. 'Good deals are good buys', he'd say at the market. This was an unpopular saying there. It was pitch black outside. Nightfall had struck when he'd left and it was far past 1 when he was now returning. As he looked up he could see the reassuring lights of his home in the distance, "A beacon for fun," he thought, grinning at this. As he pulled his supplies through the mud, he finally reached his destination and he struggled up to the door of the house. Tenchi appeared at the top of the stairs wondering what that strange noise he just heard was. He slowly and cautiously walked down them, looking around. Noticing his father in front of the door, he asks, "Dad, what are you doing here so early in the morning? It's almost 2:00! Is something the matter?" "No! Nothing's the matter! In fact, this could just be THE happiest day of my life!" Nobuyuki enthusiastically exclaimed. "I thought the happiest day of your life was when you married mom," Tenchi said, glaring at him. "Oh, yeah, right! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Nobuyuki answered, his hand on the back of his head, his face looking asininely. Tenchi noticed that the front door was open. He walked further down the stairs. Then he realized the thick rope his father was holding was extending outside the door. He walked to the bottom of the stairs and asked, "Dad, what's that?" "Oh, nothing," Nobuyuki said, grinning and hiding his hands containing the rope behind his back. Tenchi walked down onto the floor and looking out the door, saw that the rope was coiled around perhaps 15 wooden crates. He stared quizzically at them. "Do you need some help with those?" Tenchi asked. "Yes. Thank you," Nobuyuki replied. He grabbed some of the rope while Tenchi grabbed another part of it and they, with some effort, pulled it into the center of living room. Relived that he had finally gotten all the crates home, Nobuyuki sat down in one of the living room chairs. "Thank you Tenchi, but you should probably return to bed now, seeing as how it's late and all," Nobuyuki said to Tenchi. "Mind if I ask what's in the crates?" Tenchi asked. "Oh, um, yeah, these. Well, um, yeah. It's stuff." "Right. Goodnight," Tenchi responded. "Goodnight, son," Nobuyuki said, reclining in his chair. Tenchi did not return to his room, though. Instead, he sat down on the staircase. He was curious about what the crates contained, but it did not concern him much. What did concern him was a dream he had had. In the dream he had been escorted into a room by guards, as they appeared to be, in black suits, him confused and not willing to attempt to free himself due to the shinning black pistols sticking out their pockets. They dropped him into a wooden chair facing one side of an old and worn table. The guards turned around and exited the room, closing the metal doors they had entered the room through behind them. A cold sweat ran down the back of his neck. He realized someone else was facing him on the other side of the table. He, unfortunately, could not see who this was. All he could make out of them was their black suit, black top hat, and the dark, villainous grin on their face. "Where am I?" Tenchi asked. "First of all, shut up!" says the voice of the man at the other side of the table. He pulls out an AR-15 rifle from under the table and points it at Tenchi. "My finger's on the trigger," he said, "I'm sure we both don't wanna see what'll happen if I try to blow your head off." Tenchi responded, "Okay. I'm listening." "Geez! You know what the hell I want! Just go to hell, I'm through with you, dammit! I'm taking over; there's just nothing you can do about it!" He grinned again. Then he took a cigar out of his pocket. He light it with a lighter from his pocket and then started smoking it, blowing big puffs of smoke above Tenchi's head. He then said, "Okay. I'll just finish you off right now. 1….., 2……, ……3!" Suddenly, Tenchi burst out, "Ha! You're just a wannabe! You're just a wannabe me! Well, guess what? You'll never be me, so forget it!" He covered his mouth, wondering how it was possible that he had just said the things he thought he'd said. It was almost as if he were not really in the dream, but merely observing it. The stranger's cigar dropped from his mouth and onto the table. He then picked it up and put it out in an ashtray on the table. With that hand he punched Tenchi right in the mouth. A jolt of pain shot through Tenchi's body, a quick stream of blood flowing from his mouth onto the table. "Hmpf," smirked the enraged stranger, "we'll see about that!" The trigger was pulled back and Tenchi always awoke right then from the loud sound of the gun shot still echoing in his mind and shivering. He never understood this dream. It was very strange and frightening. He decided not to think about it and stood up. Tenchi started walking up the stairs, towards his room. _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ About 10 minutes had past by since Tenchi had left the room. Nobuyuki assumed that Tenchi was back in bed and asleep by now. Nobuyuki shouted out at the top of his lungs, "SSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" As Tenchi was heading upstairs, it sounded as if a herd of elephants was coming his way, trampling everything in their path! Actually, when Tenchi later thought about it, it seemed more like a pack of rapacious lions, scurrying across the ground and then leaping through the air, in fierce competition with each other for a fresh carcass. In this case, though, it was not a carcass; it was 15 crates of hard sake and the lions were really Mihoshi, Ayeka, and Ryoko, frantically charging down the staircase and destroying any obstacles in the way of their destination. Tenchi was literally thrown from the stairs. He went crashing into the newly polished wooden floor, causing him to slide right into the kitchen. He slid across the kitchen floor and his head went crashing into the base of the island in the center of the kitchen. Tenchi cringed in pain. The crash shook a knife holder on top of the island and 4 knives came falling from the knife holder towards Tenchi's face. The knives fell into the floor around his face and shoulders nearly missing him by millimeters. Giving a sigh of relief, Tenchi pulled the knives up from the floor and set them in a pile, getting up and setting them back into the knife holder. He was fuming with fury, running into the living room. Ayeka and Ryoko were standing around with Nobuyuki. The crates were ripped open, revealing bottle upon bottle of sake. Mihoshi was on the coach, red from drinking, and still drinking. She was also feeding bottle after to bottle to Ryo-Ohki who was sitting on the coach next to her. Ryo-Ohki was continually meowing in a way that sounded as though she was drunk, even though she was, and falling off the coach, jumping back onto it every time this happened. Mihoshi giggled at this. Ayeka and Ryoko were engaged in a drinking contest to see who could chug the most sake the fast, drinking through bottle after bottle at an insane rate. Both Ryoko and Ayeka were red from having drank so much and seeming to be swaying back and forth and laughing to themselves about what Tenchi didn't have the slightest idea. His father now appeared to be talking to someone on the phone. "What is this, dad?!! Why all the sake, the drinking, and at 2 in the morning?!!!!!!!" Tenchi yelled out, exasperated. "Shhhhh, Tenchi. I'm on the phone," Nobuyuki responded. Washu walked into the room. "Did I miss anything?" she asked. "Hi, Washu," Mihoshi replied, "party's just started." "Hee hee," Washu answered in a mischievous tone, "I brought some more sake. If you don't mind." "Y-Yeah. I do mind. M-more sake!!!?" Tenchi stammered. "Don't worry, Tenchi," Mihoshi replied, "I'm a Galaxy Police Officer! I can protect you." She giggled. "Oh, hi Tenchi," Ryoko said, not noticing him before due to all her attention being focused upon beating Ayeka in their sake-drinking contest. Ayeka was bright red. She had passed out onto the floor. "She won," Ryoko said to Washu, laughing to herself. Ayeka had drunken nearly 7 entire crates of sake! A large grin covered her unconscious face. "Tenchi! Heh heh heh. Nice surprise, huh? Um, I thought you were asleep. Anyway, there's plenty of sake here, so have a drink!" Noboyuki said, drinking some sake and smiling. Tenchi got mad. "What's with all the sake?!" he replied. "Tenchi, 'Any time's a good time for sake.','" Nobuyuki said, answering with one of his sayings that was surprisingly quite popular at the market. "Dad," Tenchi said, concerned, "please end this right now. It's too late. Why all this sake? This is a very bad idea!" "No. This is a GREAT idea! I've invited some drinking buddi-, err, I mean, some associates of mine here that I'd like you to meet'" Nobuyuki answered, drinking more sake. Washu put in, "C'mon, Tenchi, drink with us! We'll have an…" Tenchi interrupted her, saying, "I'm a minor." All the other people in the room stared at Tenchi with blank expressions on then faces. Then they all burst out laughing. Everyone except him was now drinking sake. Tenchi stood there for a few minutes wondering what could have possessed his father to do something such as this. "This is crazy! I'm not sure why you're all doing this, but I'm going to go back to sleep and when I wake up in the morning, he said, staring at all of them, none of this ever happened." Angry, he left the room. Everyone started talking and drinking again as if Tenchi hadn't said a thing. Tenchi got into bed and went to sleep, thinking tomorrow this would all be over and a memory. _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ Katsuhito was awoken by the sound of his telephone ringing. Tired, he got out of his bed, wondering who could possibly be calling at this hour of the night. He walked over to the telephone and picked it up. "Hello?" Katsuhito asked. "Sake!" yelled a voice on the other end of the line, which he could tell was Nobuyuki's. "What?" Katsuhito answered. "Sake!" "What?" "Sake!" "What?" "Sake!" "What?" "Sake!" "What? "Sake!" "What?" "Sake!" Katsuhito answered, "Oh, sake! Wait. I'll be right over!" Katsuhito hung up the phone. Then he quickly got dressed and ran out the door to the Masaki house as fast as he could run. _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ Tenchi was asleep, until he was suddenly awoken. He looked at his clock. It was 3:10. He had only slept for about 40 minutes! Confused, he came to his senses and understood how he was woken up. Loud music was blaring through his floor. Not to mention that it the lyrics in it sounded very distasteful to him. He suspected in was coming from the living room where his dad's "sake party" was. Even more troubling to him, though, was that it appeared his entire room was shaking because the music was so loud! He grew very angry. Just then Tenchi heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway. "Who's there?" Tenchi asked. The sound of the footsteps stopped. "Is that you Tenchi?" Sasami's voice answered back. "Yeah." Tenchi said. "I was woken up by that loud music, Tenchi," Sasami said, wearily. "Me too." Tenchi responded, annoyed with what was going on downstairs. "Why the music this early?" Sasami inquired. "You don't even want to know," Tenchi replied. "Well, how are we going to get to sleep with that music playing?" Sasami asked, yawning. Tenchi, now very irritated by the whole situation said, "Just go back to sleep, Sasami, and don't worry about it. I know how to handle this." "Thanks." Tenchi got out of bed and threw some clothes on. He went into his closet and pulled out a large wooden baseball bat he had there. Walking downstairs, Tenchi looked around and noticed 10 of his dad's "associates" there too. Tenchi rubbed his eyes in astonishment. "Grandpa?!" he yelled. Katsuhito was doing some sort of strange dance in the middle of the floor. It seemed to Tenchi that he was doing it drunk and in unison with the music that was playing from a boom box and some speakers around the room. He was spinning himself around on the floor, standing on his head, waving his arms, and kicking his legs about. While doing this, he kicked 3 glass bottles full of sake off of the table next to him and into 3 of Nobuyuki's "associates'" hands. One of them said, "Thanks, man. Another said, "You the man, Katsuhito! It appeared that everyone downstairs aside for Tenchi was drunk. Katsuhito spun up off his head and onto his feet. Tenchi put the bat to his side. "Yo, Tenchi," Katsuhito shouted out to him, "want to drink some sake?" "No, thank you," Tenchi said, disturbed. Tenchi walked into Nobuyuki's party and walked up to his father. "Hey, dad………?" Tenchi asked. "Oh, hi Tenchi. Decided to come down to the party after all, huh? That's my boy!" Nobuyuki said, grinning and patting his son on the back. "WHAT'S WITH THE MUSIC?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tenchi yelled. Noboyuki replied, "Yeah. We're listening to the soulful sounds of Hufugyomama." "Soulful? This is crap!" Tenchi responded. Nobuyuki answered, "No, Tenchi! This is Hufugyomama!" One of Nobuyuki's "associates" put in, drunken, "Hefugyomama." The "associate" stuck his tongue out at Tenchi. "Arrgh!! I've had it, dammit!!!" Tenchi screamed. Tenchi ran across the room to the boom box. He swung the bat up over his head and smashed the boom box containing the Hufugyomama CD to bits! "HUFUGYOMAMA!!!" Nobuyuki screamed out in horror. "TENCHI!!!!!" Katsuhito screamed. He kept smashing it, but was finally stopped when dragged away from it by some of Nobuyuki's "associates". "Screw this." Tenchi replied walking away into the front entrance of the house. Ayeka and Ryoko were sitting on the front steps. They both appeared to be drunk and there were countless bottles of sake lying next to them, most of them empty. "We were talking about you," Ryoko mentioned to Tenchi. "I'm surprised," Tenchi sarcastically said, not surprised at all. "What's all that shouting and fussing about in the other room?" Ryoko asked. "Oh, it's nothing important," Tenchi said. "I think I'll go check it out," Ryoko said, smiling at Tenchi and then teleporting away. A hand was stroking Tenchi's leg. Tenchi looked down and noticed Ayeka crouched underneath him. She stared into his eyes and smiled. She said, "Hello, my prince." "My prince? Wha-?" Tenchi stammered, surprised and confused. "One day, you will be my prince. Won't you Tenchi?" Ayeka asked. Tenchi didn't know what to say. He couldn't answer this question and he knew Ayeka wouldn't ask him it if she weren't drunk. "Oh, Tenchi……" Ayeka responded. A large drop of sweat dropped down the back of Tenchi's head. Ayeka started stroking his leg and rubbing her head against it. Tenchi slowly walked way from her backwards. She now was stroking and rubbing her head against nothing at all. He quickly walked out of the room, accidentally heading into the living room. His dad, grandpa, Nobuyuki's "associates, Washu, Ryoko, Mihoshi, and Ryo-Ohki, all greeted him as he walked into the room. Nobuyuki walked up to him. "Hey, yeah, Tenchi, ….about that before. We don't approve of smashing Hufugyomama CDs, but we do approve of your idea of smashing things. So, ………..if you want we'd all like to go smashing things to bits with you!" Nobuyuki said to him, smiling. "No….thank……you." Tenchi said to him, now becoming furious and clenching his fists. Nobuyuki went over to a table behind him and brought back a serving tray covered in food. He asked Tenchi, "Wanna rice cracker?" Tenchi didn't respond. "I heard you were a bad boy, Tenchi, c'mon give Ryoko a kiss," Ryoko said to him, smiling. Again, Tenchi didn't respond. Tenchi took a look around him. He couldn't believe any of it. People all over were swearing, smashing windows and lights, breaking pottery, and spray-painting all over the walls of the living room and windows. Tenchi looked pale. Tenchi, all of a sudden, screamed in fury at the top of his lungs, "OKAY ALL YOU "ASSOCIATES" OR WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE, GET OUT!!!! NOW!!!!!" Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and went silent. They all looked at Tenchi. Then Tenchi squeezed the ring on his finger. His clothes altered into his battle suit! Tenchi, then, created the Lighthawk Wings in front of him! He grasped one of the Lighthawk Wings and created a sword in his hands. Everyone else in the room stared at Tenchi in horror and amazement. "SEE SOMETHING, HUH?," Tenchi asked, "WELL MAYBE IT'S CAUSE YOU'RE ALL FREAK'N DRUNK AT MY FREAK'N HOUSE AT FREAK'N 3:30 IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!! OH, I'LL SMASH THINGS ALRIGHT, YOUR HEADS UNLESS YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!" He glared at them. In almost a flash all of Nobuyki's "associates" had disappeared. Tenchi removes the sword, Lighthawk Wings, and battle costume. He opened a window. Mad, he started tossing glass sake bottles he picked up all around him onto the ground, them breaking into pieces. He looks around the room and sighs. "Dad, grandpa," Tenchi said, very upset, "I think you've caused enough trouble tonight already. I see all 32 crates of sake have been drunk. I also think that it would be best if you both left now." Katsuhito walked out the door of the house. Nobuyuki looked down at his feet, then up at Tenchi. Tenchi didn't look back. His father left the house as well. After that, the women around him gradually left the room. _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ Tenchi was at the bottom of the stairs. He was packing some stuff of his into his backpack, trying hard to squeeze it all in. He stood up, put it on, and then walked to the door. A voice from behind him asked, "Where are you going?" Tenchi turned around and saw Sasami standing in the middle of the front entrance stairs. Ryo-Ohki was perched upon her head, giving a loud "Meow.". "I'm sorry, Sasami, but I have to go now," Tenchi replied. "But where are you going?" Sasami asked, worried. Tenchi did not answer her. He stood there, silent for about a minute. Then he swung the door open, not even bothering to close it, but just running away and into the distance as fast as he could. "TENCHI!!!!!, Sasami screamed, TENCHI!!!!!!" He was too far away to hear her now. The last she saw of him were the backs of his shoes carrying him down the path in front of her and into the darkness. She stared there, not sure what to do. Then she started to cry. She walked over to the door and closed it. In about an hour, at 5, that morning, birds out side started chirping. The sun rose. It's light gave a warm smile and shined upon the door to the Misaki house. As always, it was there. Yet, Tenchi was not. _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ AUTHOR'S OFFICE: Sakuya: So, you invited me here today? Drexle: No I didn't. Sakuya: Then why am I here? Drexle: I don't know. Sakuya: Huh? What's going on here? Drexle: I do not know what you're doing here. I know, though, that if you do not leave I will be forced to call security. Sakuya: Um, yeah, so I heard you're working on this fanfic. Drexle: Yeah. Sakuya: So, …..think I could be in it??!! Drexle: No. Sakuya: Are you sure? Oh, please! Are you sure I couldn't just make a guest appearance or something like that? Drexle: Guest appearance? Hmmm. Well, I guess that would be okay. Sakyuya: Really? Oh, cool! Yay! Drexle: You would be decapitated. Sakuya: What?!! Drexle: It'll be funny. Sakuya: Aw, forget it. I'm outta here. Drexle: See ya.