Jaiq: Well I'm back, and if you are reading this than you're back to. You've come just in time for the third installment of "Tenchi's Country Grammar", which, like the "Indiana Jones" trilogy, has brought'em back for a third time! Remy: Don't get a big head, they also made three "Home Alone" movies. (Remy is shot in the back of the leg) Ah Shit! You shot me! Une: Shall I eliminate him Mr. Treize? Jaiq: No! And don't call me Treize! Why are you all here? Did you lose another character or something? Chuck: Well Sakuya got away, but you weren't going to use her anyway. Jaiq: Can't we go one week with out losing any more characters? Blanton: Not if you keep letting Mia use those Poke'mon for for target practice. Mihoshi: Um, Ms. Lily, um, all the, uh, lights went off. Lily(brushing the hair from her eyes): That's because I just unplugged it Mihoshi. Jaiq: Why did you unplug the spellchecker? Lily: Because it never works. Why do you insist on using proofreaders who spell worse than you do? Jaiq: Anaway, while you're all here it's tme for the readers to meet the staffers. Mihoshi(proudly): I'm Detective First Class Mihoshi, and I Proofread this! Une: I am Colonel Une, and I typed this report for his exelency Treize. (casts a dreamy gaze toward Jaiq) Jaiq: I'M NOT TREIZE!!! Remy: My name is Remy Lorrauex (LOR-row) and I'm supposed to tell you that Gundam Wing and Lady Une belong to Sunrise, Blanton Meyercord and "Where Is Joe Merchant?" probably belong to Harcourt Brace Jovanovich and Jimmy Buffett, Poke'mon belongs to Nintendo and they can have 'em, and Tenchi Muyo! and related characters belong to Pioneer and some other set of initials. Also all songs mentioned or quoted in this belong to the artists and thier respective owners and are used with out permition, like this dupe is gonna call a country singer to ask if he can steel thier work. Blanton: Well as Remy said, My name is Blanton Meyercord, your friendly neighborhood jet ski killer, and I ran video on this fic. Chuck: Yeah, I'm Charles Lee, a grocery stocker, and since there is no mail, I keep the coffee mugs around here full. (loks at Lily) Lily: Oh! Me? I'm Lily Figgis, the entire maintainance crew for this dump. Jaiq: Now that that's out of our systems, on with the show! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=- goose20693@aol.com (in case you don't make it to the end) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=- It was a bout six-fifteen in the morning, when Ryoko became aware of the presences. The first was normal, Sasami was in the kitchen making breakfast. The other didn't fit in, it was all wrong. He was in front of the lab door trying to get *in*, so it couldn't have been Tenchi. Ryoko floated from her spot in the rafters, landed behind the intruder, and put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey! What do you think you're...", Ryoko's words were cut off as he thrust his fist deep into her chest. Her eyes went wide, his did the same behind his yellow sunglasses. "Damn it, Ryoko, don't sneek up on me like that!", Doc said as she was gasping for air. No, she miht not need it to survive, but she sure as hell did need it to curse him out. "What the hell are you doing here? It's only six in the morning!", Ryoko growled as to not wake the entire household. Doc replied, "The day's half over! I figured i'd get over here before she got realy busy". Just the lab door opened up and out popped THE GREATEST, MOST BRILLIANT, AND CUTEST BASS PLAYER, um I mean SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE UNIVERSE! (I have a fic called "My.S.T. Of My Worst Tenchi Fic" and therein lays the explaination. --Jaiq da Goose) "Oh, Doc, you're here, there's soooooooo much research to get done and I want to get started right away"! Doc was unsure how to react to those child like green eyes. He loked to Ryoko for guidence. "Should I be afraid?", he asked the demon/pirate. For the first time since he invited himself in this morning, Ryoko was happy. She tilted her head to the side and said, "Yes. Very, very, very afraid". Washu then grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the lab. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ (Chalie Brown you blockhead!) About fifteen minutes after Doc's abduction, Sasami stuck her head out the back door and called out, "Mia, breakfast is ready"! Grogily, Mia dropped her hand out of her hammock in the yard and on to the pile of clothes she took off last night. She pulled the clothes up through her hand, up past her shoulder, and finaly into place on her body. If Tenchi called, she would have stood up and put them on in front of him. He was funny, he would rush head long in to battle with a tiger that catches bullets in mid air. But go catatonic if he saw her put on her clothes. Mia looked down a what she was wearing, her battle atire didn't seem to fit the day. So with a thought and a flash, she changed her clothes (literaly). She felt beutiful in her new dress, it hung from her right shoulder, flowed to the floor, and fastened at the waist. "Poor Tench (not a typo)", she cooed, "He'll probably get a stiffey and go insane". As a final touch she turned her ball cap into a bright yellow bandana. Satisfied, she decided to make her grand entrance. But before she could go in, the door slid shut in front of her. Ryoko phazed through the glass door and put all of her menace in her stare. Ayeka closed in behind her to try to block her escape route. Mia was supposed to be scared, but she was barely annoyed. "hold it right there you blatant Skank!", Ryoko's threat would've worked on anyone else, but to Mia, It sounde like a lost kitten, "Who do you think you are"? "I could tell you, but I think you meant to ask 'Does that come in a light blue?'". "Now see here!", Ayeka demanded, "We know you've made design on my Lord Tenchi..." "TENCHI!", Mia almost laughed in thier faces, "THAT GEEK"? "Lord Tenchi is not a 'geek'!", Ayeka screamed. Mia grabbed ryoko's wrist and walked through the door (I know it's closed). She stuck her face back out through the glass and said, "don't fuck with me girls, I'm not always this forgiving". As she turned around, Tenchi was just walking into the kitchen when he saw her and screamed, "Ack"! !@#$^%&*()_+!@#$^%&*()_+!@#$^%&*()_+!@#$^%&*()_+!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$^%&*()_+! (a potty mouth Fan-Fic Writer) All through breakfast, Ryoko and Ayeka glared at Mia from either side of Tenchi. It normaly would have bben annoying, but Mia's attention was occupied by a couple of other things, Doc and his eyes. "And talk was small When they talked at all They all knew what they wanted" --"Third Rate Romance" I don't remember the artist "So, uh, Mia", Noboyuki tried to ease the tension, "Are you sure you 're fine sleeping in the yard like that"? Mia had to be reminded that see was being asked a question. Washu's elbow brought her back from the pair of lakes in Doc's face. "What? Oh yeah! I love being outside! Out by the big, beutiful, blue...lake...". She was out and she wasn't takin' no messages. It occured t Ayeka at about mid meal that maybe, just maybe, Mia realy wasn't interested in Tenchi after all. She would still have to watch her, but she could also devert most of her attention toward the real threat, Ryoko. Who was working out a plan to remove the shape-shifter for the morning, and posibly the afternoon to. "Say, Washu...", she was cut off. "So your mother some respect would ya"! "YeS mOtHeR", it sounded like it hurt her to say it, "You haven't had a chance to examine Mia yet have you"? Washu looked at Mia, staring at Doc, who was returning the favor. "No, come to think of it I haven't.", Washu mused, "Mia, would you mind if I ran a few tests"? (The most feared words in the galaxy) Mia never took her eyes out of Doc's, she just lifted her hand and dropped a set of keys on the table in front of Washu and said in a far off voice, "Here, use mine". <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> (a diamond is forever) A couple of hours and one meal laterDoc and Mia were released from, quite posibly, the most extensive phsical of there lives. No small feat concidering Doc had been re-built almost from the ground up, and Mia would have over Fifteen-hundred candles on her next birthday cake. Sasami had invited doc to stay for dinner, so he made himself useful by helping Tenchi in the carrot fields. Mihoshi was watching Mia and scratching her head, "You're getting your what, again"? "My motorcycle, Mihoshi", Mia streached her whip from into a big circle on the ground. Thouhg putting on a sock sometimes confused Mihoshi, Kiyone could see what had the blonde baffled, "From your backpack"? "Right! Look, when you open the closet under the stairs, you don't end up in the closet under the stairs, do you"? Mihoshi thought for a second, she wasn't allowed in there, "No' I guess you don't". "This is the same idea, just more portable". With that Mia stepped into her circle and pulled a controler from her backpack that had two buttons on it. Mia pushed the red one and the ground turned to blue light under her feet and she sank into it. Ten minutes later, Mia emerged from the ground in the back yard. The pretty yellow dress she had on earlier was now black laether. And next to her was a big purrple American mainiac of an Indian(tm) motorcycle. Mia revved the engine and the loyal beast let out a mighty roar. She sat on it, put on her helmet, lifted the kickstand, and revved the it up again. This time there was a huge cloud of dust as the bike took-off with it's front wheel in the air. When it reached the ground, Mia could amlost feel the ground shake. And as she lost sight of the Masaki house, she screamed with what was akin to orgasmic pleasure. She could play it cool in a nest of alien vixxens, make passes at a geek just to make him squirm, and go starry-eyed for soldier. But Mia's mainia was always in full glory as she was flying full boar down a deserted highway. _)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+__)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_) +_) (a bunch of sailboats) Having finished all the work they had to do Tenchi and Doc returned to the house. Doc had found himself a new friend in the fields, which he decribed as possibly the biggest squirrel he'd ever seen. Tenchi just called it Ryo-ohki. When he got back, he asked about Mia and was tantilized by Mihoshi's description of the road rocket. He would make it a point to let her take him for a ride, but right now he needed to handle something else. "Hey Tench(still not a typo), can I barrow your phone, it's kinda long distance"? "Um, I guess so". "Dude! Thanks! Don't worry I'll pay for it", Doc took his wallet out of his pocket and looked at his phonecard, then he started dialing. A few minutes later, a grogy young man on the other side of the world answered his shoe, a beer bottle, and finaly his telephone in english, "[Whatupdoe]"! "[Hey, hows everything in the Sunshine State]"! "[The sun is *not* shining. Doc, do you have any idea what time it is here]"? "[Yeah, but if I waaited for you to get up then I'd be going to sleep. Look Remy, I a couple of favors]". "[What kind of 'favors']"? "[Bribing officials and chasing ghosts kinds of favors. I need you to find Joe and bring me my work kit]". "[Dude! Ask for something simple, like a frontal lobotomy or somthing]"! "[Oh and Dude, I could use a car, how's yours running]"? Remy growled and hung up the phone, Doc did the same,"[Oh yeah! He's coming]". Though they were all listening in, the only one who could've translated the telephone convesation was still out on her joyride. So Tenchi had to ask him, "What was that all about, Doc"? "Some friends of mine are coming for a visit .", Doc said trying to go into the living room to sit down. How ever there was a Ryoko in the way. "What the hell did you do that?", she boomed, "We've been keeping our end of the bargain, haven't we"? Doc put his hand on Ryoko's shoulder, "Relaxed, you'll live longer". She wanted to pull him apart, real slow, but he was to damned calm. She realy wanted to see what he had up his sleeve. Doc lead her out to the living room and on to the couch where he told her, "What i'm talkin' 'bout is the only two civilians in the world outside of this house who know about this", he pointed to his head, "Hell, everyone thinks Joe is dead, Your secret is still safe, and if it isn't, I'll still be here for you to kill". At that moment, Mia pulled up in the back yard and got all the attention. She got off her bike, took off her helmet, and laid down in the dirt looking up at the sky, smiling. The entire clan, plus Doc, had circled her to make sure she was O.K.. She saw all of thier faces and started to sing. "Your blue might be grey, your less might be more Your window to the world might be your own front door Your shiniest day might come in the middle of the night Thats just about right". --Alabama(I think) "Just About Right" (I'm still not sure) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-=-=- (O.K. I'm stumped) Dinner went off with out a hitch(a relative term). Mia was to busy with Doc to terrorize Tenchi. Ayeka and Ryoko only seemed to be interested in each other. And of course Sasami had out done herself yet again. Now Mia and Doc were streched out across her hammock in the yard, looking up at the overcast that had been present all day. Mia was half asleep already. Doc was listening to Clint Black over her C.D. player singing his rendition of "Desperado". Doc began to wonder if maybe The Eagles were thinking of him when they wrote this song all thoese years ago. "Oh your a hard one But I know that you've got your reasons These things that are pleasing you Will hurt you some how" "No doubt", Doc thought as he took this in, "you can't be happy in my line of work". "And freedom, oh freedom, well thats just some people talking Your prison is walking through this world all alone" That hit home. the buddies in those New York clubs. The couples on the Nassau beaches. This family here in Japan. All he had were a couple of fellow hitmen he's been dragging down with him. He didn't know if he were capable of friendship anymore. "Don't your feet get cold in the winter time The sky won't show and the sun won't shine It's hard to tell the night time from the day And your losing all your highs and lows Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away" This was getting to the point of almost being creepy. Doc even kind of missed missed being afraid, amazed, or even mystified. He missed the hate, he missed the love, but most of all he missed the joy of insecurity. "You better let somebody love you Before it's to late" Midway through the last verse, the sky opened up in big cold drops that woke Mia up from her semi-slumber. "Looks like rain", she giggled like and eight-year-old. Doc put his hand over his face with the palm up, as if that would stop the sky from falling, it didn't work. "looks like you'll be spending the night in there, huh?", Doc nodded toward the house. Mia shook her head, "Nah, I like the rain, especialy on a warm night like tonight. You can see the whole world in a lightning flash, if you look". As if by destiny, the next song started with a thunder sound effect, put to shame by the real thing. Doc sang along as they got up and danced in the rain. "I never liked the rain untill I walked through it with you Every thunder cloud that came was one more I mght not get through But on the darkest day there's always light and now I see it to But I never liked the rain untill I walked through it with you" !@#$^%*&()_+!@#$^%*&()_+!@#$^%*&()_+~@!#$^%*&()!@#$^%&*()_+!@#$^%&*()!@#$ (me playing Mortal Kombat) Inside they were exploring an interesting oddessey, five girls and not enough window for them all to watch descretely. "How romantic", sighed Sasami. "If only Lord Tenchi would do that with me", Dreamed Ayeka "Fat chance", warned Ryoko. "How sweet", warmed Kiyone. "He's gonna get sick", blurted Mihoshi, everyone else sweat dropped, tearing down the window treatment. Mia and Doc just laughed. Fade and Song "Like The Rain" by Clint Black I hear it falling in the night, filling up my mind All the heaven's river come to light, I see it all unwind I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane When I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now Just like the rain When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why i couldn't see That it's always good and when the flood is gone we still remain Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now Just like the rain I have fallen for you I'm falling for you now just like the rain And when the night falls on our better days And we're looking to the sky For the winds to take us high above the planes I know that we'll find better waysto lookin to the eye Of the storms that will be calling Forever we'll be falling Like the rain +_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_)+_) +_) Chuck:So that was part three, personally I think it was one of his finer efforts. But if you didn't like it, we're just as egar to hear from you. So go ahead! Drop us a line! We've been lonely here at Fifty-one-fifty. Our e-mail address is goose20693@aol.com So don't be a stranger! And by all means My.S.T. our shit We realy enjoy it! Also look for our sideline fics: My.S.T. OF MY WORST TENCHI FIC and My.S.T. OF MY SELF INSERTION GONE HORRABLY WRONG. Untill Then see ya!