DISCLAIMER: All characters, cabbits, ditzy blondes, and sunny, typical mornings are copyright of AIC and Pioneer. However, any characters, cabbits, and mornings I made up are property of the one and only RP-Otaku (that's me!). This story is also my property, and though I can't do anything to you if you copy it, I'd rather you didn't. I would really appreciate it if the owners of Tenchi Muyo! didn't sue me, especially since I'm spending hundreds of dollars on their products. The Men in Navy Blue are based on the Men in Black which are copyright of whoever owns them. Could you do me a favor and avoid suing me? Thanks. This takes place after Chapter One. Big surprise there, huh? Anyway, if you haven't already, I suggest you read it, for clarity and continuity if nothing else. Special Thanks to Kelly Loyd and Titus Lin for proofreading. Now, on with the fanfiction! No Need For Souls! A TM! Fanfiction By RP-Otaku Chapter Two: Protecting the Earth from Ryoko and Aeka (who are *much* more dangerous than the scum of the universe!) It was a bright, sunny, typical morning in the Masaki household. Tenchi felt the warm sun against his cheek, and snuggled closer into his pillow. Slowly, he woke up and opened his eyes... And found himself staring straight into a pair of bloodshot, sleep-deprived golden cat-eyes. "O-ha-yo..." Ryoko mumbled. "YAAA!!" Tenchi screamed in fright and fell out of bed. "Ah, Ryoko-san, could you please *stop* doing that?" "But *Tenchiiiii*, I have to make sure no one *steals* you during the night." she whined. Tenchi got up and walked out of his room. As he was heading for the bathroom with Ryoko floating right behind him, Aeka entered the hallway. "Ryoko-san! Why are you pestering Tenchi-sama this early in the morning?!" "Lemme 'lone, Flat Woman, I wanna be with *Tenchi*." Ryoko wrapped her arms around Tenchi's neck and stuck her tongue out at Aeka. "You monster! Leave Tenchi-sama alone!" Aeka's floating logs began to appear around her. Ryoko put on a frightened look, "Help, Tenchi! protect me from this mean old bag. *Pleeease*?" Aeka looked about ready to explode. Tenchi tried to pry Ryoko's arms off of his neck, "Aeka-san, please stop. And Ryoko, will you *please* let go of me?" Pouting, Ryoko let go. Aeka's logs disappeared. Tenchi smiled at them, "Arigato," he said, "Now let me get through this morning in peace!" Ryoko sighed, nodded, and disappeared. Aeka went downstairs. Satisfied, Tenchi headed for the bathroom. --- "You sure this is the place?" "Of *course* I'm sure. There were several witnesses who saw the ship fly over here." "How do we even know it's a space ship?" "Well, there's no airplane like that in existence, and most people who fly airplanes don't have purple hair and red eyes." "Could just be dye and contacts." "Yeah, but there's also the matter of the big scuffle she was in. Floating logs and electricity! It's not something you see every day!" "What about the other one in the fight?" "She literally *disappeared* right after. Who knows where she is." "Do you think this Masaki guy is in on this alien conspiracy thing?" "Who knows. Let's just pretend we're here about property damage anyway. And to arrest the pilot of the aircraft for reckless flying." "Got it." --- There was a knock on the door. Mihoshi jumped up and ran to answer it. "Konnichiwa! Masaki residence!" Two men were standing in the doorway. One was a short man with brown hair and green eyes. The other was tall with black hair and brown eyes. They both wore navy blue business suits. "Konnichiwa," the taller one said, "Are you Mrs. Masaki?" Mihoshi giggled, blushed, and said she wasn't, but someday, maybe... The shorter guy cleared his throat and asked, "Is the master of the house in?" Mihoshi said he wasn't, but Tenchi was here and he was Nobuyuki-san's son. "May we speak with him, please?" Mihoshi invited them in, they sat on the living room couch, listening to the sound of sizzling food from the kitchen. Mihoshi ran upstairs to find Tenchi. She bumped into him on the way. "Oh! Tenchi-san! Gomen nasai..." she said, blushing. "Why are you such a hurry, Mihoshi?" "There are some men here who want to talk to you, Tenchi-san." Remembering the previous day's incident at the mall, Tenchi was suddenly very worried. "Arigato, Miho-san." As Tenchi reached the bottom of the stairs, Sasami rushed out of the kitchen, Ryo-Ohki on her head, calling out, "Tenchi-niichan, breakfast is ready! Oh, Tenchi-niichan, I thought you were still upstairs! Ohayo, could you tell Ryoko-oneechan and Washu-neechan that breakfast is ready?" "Ohayo, Sasami-chan. Gomen, but I can't right now, we have guests." "We do?" "Miya, miya!" Ryo-Ohki had spotted the visitors, and when Sasami turned around, she saw them as well. "Gomen! I had no idea! I'll have to prepare more food, then." Sasami turned around and ran back into the kitchen. Tenchi approached the two men. They got up and greeted him, then they all sat down on the couch. "May I help you?" Tenchi asked. "Yes, I was wondering if you know these two women?" The tall man showed a picture of Ryoko and Aeka to Tenchi. "Or this aircraft?" He pulled out a picture of Yukinojo flying away from the mall. "So it *is* about them. Let me see if I can find them. I'll be right back." "Do you mind if we look around a little bit?" asked the short one. Tenchi answered hesitantly, "I suppose not." Tenchi trudged back upstairs, thinking to himself. I should've *known* they would get me in trouble with the law one of these days... I just didn't expect it. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. "Tenchi..." Ryoko materialized in front of him, snuggling into his chest. "Who were you talking to, downstairs?" "Let *go* of me Ryoko! Those people are here to talk to you and Aeka about that big fight in the mall." "Really? They're here to see *me*? I'm so *honored*!" "Ryoko! It's not a good thing! Where's Aeka?" "Who cares?" she asked, still clinging to him. "RYOKO-SAN!" Aeka yelled at her, "Let go of Tenchi-sama!" Tenchi yelled out before it could escalate, "Could both of you please go downstairs and talk to the police?!" Aeka slowly settled down. "Of course, Tenchi-sama. Monster Woman, let's go." The two mortal enemies walked downstairs, their anger only barely contained. When Ryoko and Aeka got downstairs, the short agent was busy looking through Nobuyuki's shojo manga, while the tall agent was peering through a photo album. "Konnichiwa!" Ryoko greeted them. "Ohayo," replied the two men, suddenly looking at two very lovely young ladies. "May I inquire why you wish to speak with us?" Aeka asked them. "Well, uh..." The tall one trailed off. Mihoshi came out of the kitchen, "Breakfast is ready!" "Great!" came Aeka's reply, "I'm starved!" As she started to walk towards the kitchen, the short one noticed something *very* peculiar about Ryoko, "You have a *tail*!" He shouted. Ryoko looked at him, then behind herself, "So I do," she shrugged and walked into the kitchen. "So, uh, why exactly *do* you have a tail?" the short man asked Ryoko. Ryoko peered at him quizzically, "What's your name?" The tall man slapped himself on the forehead. "Sorry! That was stupid of me to forget! I am Tom, this is Eric." Ryoko smiled and extended a hand in greeting. "Nice to meet you. I'm Masaki Ryoko." "WHAT??!!!" Aeka screamed at the top of her lungs. She jumped to her feet. "YOU," she pointed an accusing finger at Ryoko, "are NOT a Masaki!" Ryoko crossed her arms and turned away. "I am too, a Masaki." A sweatdrop appeared on Tenchi's head. Sasami scooted back from the ever-dueling duo a few feet. Mihoshi continued to eat, blithely ignoring the pair. Aeka's logs appeared around her. Ryoko snarled and started to gather a ball of energy between her hands. Washu arrived at the breakfast table. "Calm down, you two," she said, trying to defuse the situation. "What's this all about?" "Mom, she started it!" Ryoko sulked. Aeka turned to Washu. "This, this *woman* was trying to pass herself off as a member of the Masaki family!" Washu frowned. "Now, now, Ryoko-chan. You are a Hakubi. And don't forget it!" "I'm not! I say I'm a Masaki, so I'm a Masaki!" "I'm your mother, and I'm a Hakubi!" "That's the best reason not to be one!" "You're being unruly, child. Now, be quiet." Her spectral laptop appearing under her hands, Washu pressed a couple of buttons. Ryoko yelped and started hopping on one foot. "Heh. Sending a neural spike to the appendage of a humanoid lifeform is easy as pi for a genius like me!" Washu boasted to the spectators. The two guests looked on in stunned silence. Washu turned to them, "Ohayo! Tenchi, who are our guests?" Tenchi sighed in resignation. "The police." "Well, not exactly." Eric said. "We're the MiNB, a special branch of the UN formed to monitor extraterrestrial activity. And, apparently, we have found some activity to monitor." "Oh. Well then, nice to meet you!" Washu went and shook hands with each of them. "Would you two like to be my guinea pigs?" The Americans quickly retreated, shaking their heads 'no'. "What does MiNB stand for?" Tenchi asked. Tom smiled. "Men in Navy Blue." he replied. Aeka sniffed, "Not very original. Men in Black sounds more sinister." "Yeah," Ryoko chimed in, "MiNB just sounds lame." "Hey!" Eric yelled, "I think it sounds cool!" "Will you stop fighting?!" Washu shouted at them. Once they quieted down, she sat at the breakfast table and served herself some miso soup. The tall one finally got up the nerve to ask, "Who exactly *are* you guys?" Washu made introductions. "Well, this is Mihoshi, a detective with the Galaxy Police. Ryoko, my daughter and the infamous space pirate. This is Aeka, first princess of the planet Jurai. Sasami, her little sister. This little fluff ball on Sasami's head is Ryoko-chan's pet cabbit and space ship, Ryo-Ohki. And I, of course, am the Most Brilliant, Greatest, and Most Kawaii Scientific Genius in the Universe, Little Washu!!" "Well, Washu-san, I'm afraid you're going to come with us." Tom said. Everyone at the table, excluding Washu and the MiNB, gasped. Washu looked at the MiNB irritably. "Please, call me Washu-chan." "Please, come with us quietly Washu-san. We don't want to have to do anything that we both might regret later." Washu got a furious look on her face. "CHAN!! CALL ME WASHU *CHAN*!!" she yelled at the MiNB. Unconcerned, Eric pulled out a fancy pair of handcuffs. "Gomen, but if you don't come willingly, I'm going to have to restrain you, Washu-san." "THAT'S IT!!!" Washu turned an interesting shade of pink, "NOW I'M *REALLY* PISSED!" Her spectral computer formed under her hands. With a couple of button presses, an eerie green light surrounded the two government agents and they transformed into short, bipedal, froglike creatures. Namely, kappa. With a sinister chuckle, Washu dusted off her hands. "That'll teach you what happens when someone calls me 'Washu-san'. Heh." Washu looked around at everyone staring at her in horror. "Nani?" Tenchi asked her desperately, "What are you going to do with them? Washu-chan, you can't just leave them like that!" Washu gave a sideways glance to the two kappa, currently playing with Sasami and Mihoshi. "Why not? They seem to be enjoying themselves." "Well, you didn't *ask* them!" "Oh, all right." Washu said, giving in. "I'll turn them back tomorrow, they need some time to reflect on their mistake." Tenchi sighed in resignation. "Alright. But remember! You *have* to turn them back!" "I know, I know. Don't worry, Tenchi-dono." Everyone finished breakfast in relative silence, except for Sasami and Mihoshi, who were playing with the two little sprites. The kappa fared well throughout the day, spending their time with Mihoshi and Sasami, except when they paused to yell at Washu. When night finally arrived, the two water sprites settled down in Sasami's bed, along with Ryo-Ohki. --- "Hakubi Ryoko!" Ryoko spun around, searching for the source of the voice. She idly noted that she was already dressed in combat attire and she only had one gem. "Hakubi Ryoko!" Ryoko spun around again, searching for the voice. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash. Her energy sword ignited in her hand, and she peered at the person now facing her. It was Aeka. "Ryoko-san!" she cried out, in a much different voice than that of *the* voice. "Why, Ryoko-san? Why did you do this to us?! We never did anything to you!!" Blood dripped down Aeka's forehead and into a large bundle she carried in her arms. The cloth fell away, and there was Sasami. Or, at least, Sasami's upper half. Ryoko screamed out in horror, and Aeka and Sasami vanished into the surrounding blackness. Blackness? She thought, why I am surrounded in nothing but utter darkness? "Ryoko-chan, my love..." That voice, it couldn't be... Tenchi had acknowledged his love for her! She turned in the direction of his voice, hope in her eyes. Hope that was summarily crushed. Tenchi was missing an arm and a leg. His right eye had been gouged out, there was blood smearing his face. "Ryoko-chan... How could you do this to us? To me? I thought you loved me... But Aeka was right... You are nothing more than a monster!" This he screamed, his voice full of hate and anguish. No! Ryoko screamed inwardly. This can't be! Tenchi! I *do* love you, I would never hurt you! How can this be?!! What has happened?! "Hakubi Ryoko." She recognized the voice at last. "Kagato." It was a whisper. "You're dead! Twice! Tenchi has killed you twice, and Washu made certain you're not coming back! Get out of my dreams!!" Ryoko turned around and ran him through. Kagato laughed and Ryoko's energy saber dissipated. He pointed a finger at her, and Ryoko shattered into a thousand shards of glass. --- Ryoko woke up in a cold sweat. She was lying on the couch, she had fallen asleep wearing her blue and yellow dress. Still worried about the connotations of her dream, she dematerialized. She reappeared floating over Tenchi's bed. After confirming that he was still alive and well, she quickly checked on Aeka and Sasami. The two slept quietly and peacefully. Ryoko returned to Tenchi's room. "Oh, Tenchi..." she whispered quietly, and brushed her fingers across his cheek. "I will *never* let *anything* happen to you. Ever." She vowed to him as he slept. --- It was another bright, sunny morning in the Masaki household. Sunrays danced across Tenchi's eyelids. Still half-asleep, he felt a warm, soft form lying beside him. He snuggled a little closer to it, then realized that he wasn't *supposed* to have anyone lying next to him. He opened his eyes to the sight of Ryoko's beautiful, sleeping face. He resisted the urge to cry out in shock, and slowly wriggled himself loose of Ryoko's arms. Starting to tiptoe out, he heard a knock on his door, then Aeka saying, "Tenchi-sama, are you awake?" He froze as the door to his room swung inward, and there stood Aeka, looking at him. "Tenchi-sama! Ohayo! Gomen, I thought you might still be asleep. Sasami needs you to pick some carrots for breakfast, and she said it couldn't wait any longer." "H-Hai." Tenchi replied. As Aeka closed the door on her way out, Tenchi looked back to his bed, wondering why Aeka hadn't raised a fuss about Ryoko being in his bed. But she wasn't there. Where'd she go? Tenchi wondered. He went through his morning routine without seeing either Ryoko or Aeka. Tenchi headed downstairs, Sasami was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Ryoko was nowhere to be found. Aeka was dozing on the couch. "Tenchi-niichan!" Sasami called, "Could you go pick some carrots for me? Ryo-chan ate the last of them here!" "Miya!" "Hai, Sasami-chan, I'm on my way now." "Arigato, Tenchi-niichan!" When Tenchi had finished with the carrots, he returned to the living room. The two MiNB kappa were chasing each other the room, ribbiting. Mihoshi was the room's only other occupant; she watched the kappa play with interest. "Ribbit, ribbit!" said Tom. "RIIIBBIIIT! Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit." replied Eric. "Wow! They're so kawaii!" Mihoshi squealed in glee. The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Mihoshi volunteered. She ran and opened the door. "Ohayo! Masaki resi- Eeek!" Mihoshi retreated back into the house. Right after her came two large Americans brandishing large futuristic guns. Both wore navy blue business suits. Tenchi groaned. "Are you from the MiNB too?" he asked. Immediately, one of them pointed his pistol at Tenchi. "Boy," he said commandingly, "Where are the other agents?" Nervously, Tenchi pointed towards the kappa climbing over the back of the couch. Both men gaped for an instant before turning their weapons back on Tenchi and Mihoshi. "We demand that you return them to their normal forms." Tenchi cautiously moved towards the closet door under the staircase. He knocked on the door. "Washu-chan!" he called. "What is it, Tenchi-dono? I'm in the middle of a semi-delicate experiment!" "Umm... the door's for you." "What?" Curious, Washu came out of her lab. Seeing the two MiNB brandishing guns, she gave a startled yelp and ducked back inside. In a moment she reappeared, in a commando uniform, with a minigun in one hand, and a rocket launcher in the other. "Now," the scientist said in a sinister voice, "I'm going to have to ask you to drop your weapons." One agent gulped, but said, "If you fire either of those, you'll kill us all. You wouldn't dare it." Washu smirked, "I would. I can reassemble any of us in a matter of days. And I, being the Greatest, Most Kawaii Scientific Genius in the Universe, wouldn't be affected. So, obviously, you are overmatched!" A visor slid down from under her helmet, covering her eyes. "You have five seconds to give up, then I blast ya!" Tenchi spoke, "Uh, Washu-san..." Washu aimed the minigun at him. "I mean, Washu-*CHAN*..." Washu pointed the gun back at the agents. "I don't think you should kill them..." "Five." Washu started her countdown. Startled, Tenchi said, "Wait! Washu-chan!" "Four." "Please! Stop!" "Three." One of the government recited, "We are the Men in Navy Blue. We are trained to battle to the death. We do not surrender..." "Two." "We do not give up. We will not be captured. We are the best of the best, trained to complete our mission to the fullest extent possible. We can not be bribed, coerced or manipulated. We will not be stopped." "Nice speech. One." Without warning, tentacles snaked down from a veritable forest of logs floating overhead. Caught unawares, the MiNB were immediately immobilized in their tight grip. "What the-" one of them managed to spit out before his breath was cut off. Guns dropped from nerveless fingers and clattered to the wooden floor. Aeka descended the staircase regally, watching the two agents strain against their bonds. "Why were you threatening Tenchi-sama?" she asked politely. The tentacles loosened a tiny bit, allowing the MiNB to breathe. "We've come to reinforce our fellow agents, who have been transformed into frogs by this vile woman with the big guns." one replied. Washu marched up and stuck the rocket launcher in the agent's face, "WHAT did you say about me?" The man started to sweat profusely, "Nothing! Nothing at all!" Aeka turned to Washu. "Washu-chan, please send all of the Men in Navy Blue agents back to where they came from. ALL of them." Grumbling, Washu acquiesced. The commando outfit and weapons disappeared, leaving her in her old Science Academy uniform. Her laptop appeared, and she typed in a few commands. Within a second both MiNB kappa had been returned to human form. They brushed themselves off irritably. "I hope you know that was the worst experience of my life!" Eric said to Washu. Her finger hovering over a button, Washu glared at him, "Don't push it, buddy." she said. Aeka picked up the guns off of the floor and handed them to Tenchi, who was still somewhat shocked at the recent occurrences. Washu made a request of the princess, "Aeka-dono, could you have your guardians put our guests in a force field for a moment?" Aeka nodded her compliance, and ordered Azaka and Kamidake to do so. While the four agents protested inside the clear bubble of force, Washu gave Aeka a pair of sunglasses and ordered Tenchi and Mihoshi out of the room. "What in the world are you doing, Washu-chan?" she asked, donning the glasses. Washu smiled at her, wearing her own pair of sunglasses. "It's an idea I came up with from an American movie. Of course, their device was rather primitive and the design was completely inefficient, but it was simple to adjust it a tad and make a working model. See this?" Washu held up a small black globe in front of the agents. On their side of it was a tiny red light, which they stared into. "All of you came to the Masaki household, but found no trace of alien activity. Tom got drunk before returning to the Men in Navy Blue headquarters and both he and his partner had to spend the night. Today you two," Washu indicated the newcomers, "Met them here and you all decided to return to base together." The genius scientist covered the light for an instant and returned it to wherever she got it from. "Okay! It was nice having you here! We'll never forget you! Here are your guns back," Washu returned the guns, "Sayonara!" She pushed them out the door and closed it behind them. "Well!" Washu said, satisfied. "That's enough fun for today! I think I'll get back to my lab to finish that Clothes Disintegration Ray I was working on!" Aeka looked a bit startled. "C-Clothes Disintegration Ray? Whyever would you make something like that?" Washu smirked. "Well, Nobuyuki-san asked me to make one for him." "WHAT!!!?!!" Aeka screamed in outrage. Washu collapsed on the floor laughing, while Aeka's face slowly returned to it's normal color from it's current shade of neon red. "Hmph. What a cruel joke. I cannot believe that someone would make light of me in such a way!" Aeka declared, turning her back on Washu. "G-gomen, Aeka-dono." Washu said with difficulty, trying to prevent herself from giggling *too* much. "It's just sort of a 'curiosity' experiment, to see if it can be done. Thus far it's been successful, the next step is to see if I can make it so that it only disintegrates men's or women's clothing. *Then* I'll see about selling it to Nobuyuki or Ryoko-chan." "That *Monster Woman*!! How could you even propose something like that?!" "Hey, watch it!" Washu admonished her, "That's my *daughter* you're talking about there!" "Against my will, I can assure you." Ryoko's head popped out of the ceiling, followed shortly by her body. "Ohayo, everybody! What are we talking about here?" "Oh, nothing. I'm just going to sell my Clothing Disintegration Ray to Nobuyuki as soon as I'm finished with it." Washu answered her. "WHAT!!? You *can't* be *serious*!!" Ryoko's jaw hung open as she stared at Washu incredulously. "He'd even disintegrate *your* clothes! Why would you give something like that to that, that, *hentai*??" Once again, Washu burst out laughing. "Oh, you two are sooo gullible! Even I'm not sadistic enough to do something like that!" Still chuckling, Washu returned to her lab. At that very moment, Sasami ran out of the kitchen. "Oneesama! Ryoko-neechan! Breakfast is ready! Could you let Mihoshi-neechan and Tenchi-niichan know that it's ready?" "Sure thing, Sasami-chan." Ryoko replied. "Come on, Little Miss Arrogant, let's go." "What did you call me?!!" Aeka demanded. Ryoko grinned, "You heard me, Princess Stuck-Up." "How dare you, you insolent cur! I'll have you know that I just saved Tenchi-sama's *life*, while you were off lounging on the roof or some such!" "Oh, really? What did you save him from, the vicious peasants?" "As a matter of fact," Aeka replied haughtily, "I saved him from those geeks in the suits. Except they were big geeks with big guns. In fact, they were using some sort of old model of laser pistol." "How *horrifying*. Did those big, bad, mean men try to hurt you, Oujo-chan? I should certainly hope not, after all, you are a member of Jurai's Royal Family, no one could *ever* hurt *you*." Tenchi entered the living room. "Will you two *please* stop fighting? The only ones who seem to enjoy it are you." "Tenchi, darling, do you really think I enjoy fighting with this mean old bag?" Ryoko teleported next to him and put her arms around him, nuzzling against his cheek. "I don't, Tenchi. But she's so *mean* to me all the time, don't you see?" "Ryoko, let go of me!" Tenchi pushed her off of him. "Both of you, I would really appreciate it if you could *stop* fighting, at least for a little bit." "Tenchi-sama, I would if I could, but this fiendish woman over here is continually trying to attack me." Aeka explained. "You lie! You are the one who keeps trying to attack me! Why, you should thank me for not trying to kill you yet!" "What utter nonsense! I would never attack an inferior being to myself!" "Well then, I guess there's no limits as to who you'd attack, eh?" "And just *what* is *that* supposed to mean?" Aeka requested angrily. Ryoko giggled. "See, Tenchi? She's as dumb as a rock. Now, come on, let's go have breakfast." Sasami was serving the table when they entered, cheerfully humming "Ren Ai No Sainou" as she worked. When she noticed their entrance, she asked them, "Could you please go get Mihoshi, Washu, and Yosho?" "Very well, Sasami." Aeka agreed. "I shall fetch that bubblehead. Tenchi, go get Washu-san, and Monster Woman, run to the shrine and collect Oniisama. Okay?" "No problem, Princess." Ryoko declared. Immediately, she vanished. Tenchi started to protest, "Washu... But I'd rather not..." But Aeka had already departed. So Tenchi prepared himself to cross the threshold into...(dramatic music) Washu's lab!!! --- At the shrine, Yosho was enjoying some tea as he watched leaves float by on the wind. Well, a couple of leaves at least, it's still summer after all. Then Ryoko appeared before him. "Ohayo, Yosho! Breakfast is ready!" Calmly, Yosho set down his teacup. "I shall eat something a bit later." He said. "Okay, bye!" And Ryoko was gone. She's changed a lot in 700 years, Yosho thought to himself. All of it for the better. He smiled. You wouldn't believe that that woman was the notorious space pirate who attacked Jurai. Yes, she has changed quite a bit. --- Fearfully, Tenchi stepped into Washu's lab. He didn't see her around, so he called out, "Washu-chan! Breakfast is ready, Washu-chan!" "Gomen nasai, Tenchi-dono..." Tenchi heard a voice speak from behind him, in an eerie, spooky sort of way. "You're not going to be enjoying breakfast today!" Washu yelled and pressed a button on her spectral laptop and a dozen tentacles emerged from the floor, immobilizing Tenchi. "Washu-chan! What are you doing?" Tenchi asked, worriedly eyeing her nurse uniform. "Tenchi-dono, I'm still missing that sperm sample. I think now would be convenient to collect it, don't you?" "Washu! I can't move! Let me out of here!" Tenchi pleaded with her. Washu only giggled and pulled down his pants. "Hey! Washu-chan! Please! Let me out of here!" Washu grabbed the waistband of his boxers, grinning. "HELP!!" "Tenchi, you called? What's go- WASHU! Hold it right there!" Ryoko materialized in the lab, and stormed towards her mother. Surprised, Washu retreated a step. "Ryoko-chan, what are you doing here?" Washu asked nervously, a sweatdrop appearing behind her head. "Just *what* were you trying to do to Tenchi?!" Ryoko demanded furiously, grabbing Washu by the front of her dress. Holding Washu at eye-level, Ryoko ordered her, "Release Tenchi. NOW." Tenchi thanked any Kami who was listening for delivering Ryoko to him at that crucial moment. "Why, Ryoko-chan... you're standing in the path of science. I was merely attempting to retrieve a body sample from Tenchi-dono. Nothing harmful." "Then why was he crying for help? Just *what* sample were you trying to obtain from him?" "Only the most important one," Washu informed Ryoko, "A sperm sample." "WHAT?!" "You asked. Now, could you please put me down?" "A *sperm* sample? To quote Aeka, 'how *dare* you?!' Release him now, Washu, and I'll spare your life!" "How disrespectful! Not only am I the Greatest, Most Kawaii Scientific Genius in the Universe, but I'm also your mother! Put me down this instant, Ryoko-chan, and I won't turn you into a kappa!" Ryoko paused, considering what it would be like to be a kappa. Angrily, she dropped Washu. She immediately turned towards Tenchi. She ignited her energy blade and swiftly sliced through his bonds. She picked him up and slung him over her shoulder like a sack of rice. "Breakfast is ready, Washu." She said, and teleported out of the lab. --- "Arigato, Ryoko-san." Tenchi thanked Ryoko as soon as she put him down on his bed. "Don't mention it, Tenchi." She said, then, noticing that his pants were still around his ankles, she wrapped her arms around him, pushing him down onto the bed. "Ryoko! Stop!" Tenchi pleaded with her now, as Ryoko pinned him on the bed. "Breakfast..." he protested. "Will wait." Ryoko finished for him, lowering her mouth to his for a kiss. There was a knock on the door. "Tenchi-sama?" Aeka called through the door. "Come in!" Tenchi yelled. Ryoko got off of him, a hurt look on her face. As Aeka burst through the door, Ryoko phased through the floor and disappeared. Aeka arrived just in time to see Ryoko's head sink through the floor. "That *woman*!" Aeka muttered irritably. Then, noticing Tenchi's state of undress, she blushed and shut the door quickly. "I'll see you at breakfast, Tenchi." She said through the door and departed. Tenchi sat up on his bed and sighed. What did I ever do to deserve this? He asked himself. I just wanted a normal, quiet life, and look what happened! I'm living with three beautiful alien women, a 20,000 year old genius who looks 12, and a little girl with blue hair down to her ankles, who owns the most powerful spaceship in the galaxy, no less! Not to mention that my grandfather is an alien prince who imprisoned a woman who was once the most wanted criminal in the galaxy but is now trying to seduce me! And I'm also one of the most powerful people in the galaxy. So much for a typical, average life! Pulling up his pants, Tenchi walked down to breakfast. --- "Hakubi Ryoko!" Ryoko spun, igniting her energy saber. She was dressed in combat attire, searching for the voice. She heard a strangled gasp behind her. She turned, not knowing what to expect. "Ryo...ko... Wanted crim...inal... You are... under... arr..." The rest was lost in a bloody gurgle. Mihoshi lay on the ground, in a pool of her own blood. Both legs were missing, and blood flowed from her ears. One hand twitched, it held a pistol loosely, and futilely attempted to aim it at Ryoko. "Assault...ing... a pol...ice officer... under..." Ryoko shrank back in horror, screaming to herself that it wasn't real. Mihoshi disappeared into the darkness. "Hakubi Ryoko!" Deathly afraid of what she might find, Ryoko turned around. There was Washu, hobbling on a cane, missing her left leg. Washu turned towards Ryoko. "Ah. My daughter. You've come back to kill me. I'm surprised you didn't finish me off last time." Washu's eyes were missing. Two black sockets gazed back at Ryoko. Washu smiled, displaying a mouth full of crooked and missing teeth, all stained various shades of green. Out of nowhere, Washu held out Tenchi's severed head to Ryoko. His face was permanently locked in a scream, his severed neck still dripped blood. "See what you did to him? He could summon the Light Hawk Wings, and you killed him! You're standing in the way of scientific progress again." "It's not true!" Ryoko screamed at Washu. Washu simply faded away. "Hakubi Ryoko." This wasn't Kagato. A person appeared before her, cloaked in black, two red eyes staring out at the former pirate. "Well done, Ryoko. You have killed all of those in the Masaki household. You did even better than I imagined." "What are you talking about?! Who are you?!!" "Why, Ryoko, you know me. You work for me. You kill for me." "I've never seen you before in my life!" "What a harsh thing to say. Of course you know me. And if you've forgotten, well, you'll soon remember. You see, I'm heading for Earth right now, and when I arrive, you will kill Tenchi and all of your friends for me." "NEVER!" Ryoko vowed. The figure gave a sinister chuckle. "Oh yes you will, Hakubi Ryoko. You will because you have to. You have no choice, none can escape me. Especially not in your dreams." "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Ryoko screamed. She slashed at the figure with her sword, and it vanished like smoke on the wind. It reappeared an instant later, a Light Hawk Sword in a black-gloved hand. It prepared to run her through, but at that moment, a powerful force shoved at her shoulder, and she screamed in terror. --- Tenchi gently shook Ryoko's shoulder. She suddenly screamed again, and sat bolt upright on the couch. She was panting, and sweat matted her hair. She clutched Tenchi tightly, pressing her head against his chest and whimpering. Tenchi sat next to her on the couch, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Ryoko, what is it?" Tenchi asked, "What's wrong?" "It, it's nothing, Tenchi." She whispered to him. "Something's troubling you, what is it?" She looked up into his eyes. "Why are you down here, anyway? Shouldn't you be asleep?" "You screamed in your sleep. I woke up and came down here." "Gomen nasai, Tenchi. I didn't mean to wake you. Did anyone else wake up?" "I don't think so, but I'm not sure. Now, tell me. What's wrong?" She leaned against him and closed her eyes. "It's nothing, Tenchi. Just a bad dream, that's all." "Just a dream, huh? It must have been terrible. What was it about, do you remember?" "Someone I didn't know forced me to kill everyone in the house." Tenchi patted her shoulder sympathetically. "That really is horrible. Is there any way I can help?" "Just... Hold me for a little bit, okay?" she pleaded with him, fearing his answer. "Okay, Ryoko." Tenchi complied, fervently hoping that Ryoko's screams hadn't woken up Aeka. They sat there like that for a long while, silent, taking comfort in each other's presence. After a time, Ryoko fell asleep again. Gently, Tenchi stretched her out on the couch. He fetched a spare blanket and pillow from a closet and tucked her in. As he started to go back upstairs he stopped and looked back. Tenchi smiled at Ryoko's sleeping form, her face highlighted in moonlight. She was so beautiful when she wasn't attempting sexual assault. "Good night, Ryoko." That's it for Chapter Two! So what do you think? Don't hesitate to e-mail with feedback! Send all Questions, Comments, Criticism, and even flames to palador98@yahoo.com. Coming up in Chapter Three! Ryoko has more gory dreams! Sorry if you don't like the gore, but I'm trying to get a point across in these dreams! You can skip the descriptions of the various forms of mutilation if you really want. Also, Washu and Ryoko get a bit closer.