Running Scared

A Tenchi-Muyo! fic


Any and all C+C appreciated. You can contact me at:
sommer@3rdm.net

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I disclaim I own any of the TM! Characters.

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Yosho paused in his sweeping of the shrine's walkway and allowed the cool
breeze to blow through his blonde locks. Autumn was his favorite time of
the year. The weather was beautiful, the sun was shining through a light
cover of clouds, and the temperature was just right. It was one of those
perfect days that came along far too rarely. Well, perfect save for all of
the blasted leaves he had to continuously sweep from the shrine's grounds.
But even that fact couldn't bring him down. It was time to stop working and
enjoy the weather.

"Yosho! Quit lazing around and get back to work."

The sound of the reprimand disrupted the peaceful state of mind that Yosho
had started to form. He turned to the source of the disruption. His
grandfather was standing in the doorway of the office next to the shrine.
Outwardly, the man appeared to be in his late fifties if not older, but
underneath that elderly exterior was a man that had the athletic ability of
a person one-third his age; he proved that every time the two of them
sparred in training sessions with the sword. Even with the subdued garb of
a shrine priest, the bright eyes that could be seen behind square-framed
glasses gave away a mind that was every bit as nimble as the body it
commanded.

Yosho took a moment to compose the argument in his mind before speaking.
"But Grandfather, it's a beautiful day out. Look at the way the sun's
shining. And the air-"

"I don't care how nice a day it is. You still have chores to do." The tone
he used brooked no further arguments.

In the tradition of all children that were seventeen going on thirty, Yosho
promptly ignored the tone. "You know, the work would go a whole lot faster
if you helped out."

"Ah, my boy. These old bones aren't quite what they used to be." The older
man made a point of working a few kinks out of his back.

"I see." Yosho placed his hand to his chin in thought. "So, I guess that
means we won't be having any practice today since your 'old bones aren't
quite what they used to be'."

Yosho's grandfather pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Practice will be
at the same time it always is." He gave a soft smile at his grandson's
attempt to turn the conversation to his advantage. He stood up and went
back into the shrine's office.

A smile parted Yosho's lips in return. He didn't really want to get out of
sword practice -it was a way for him to keep in shape- but the sweeping he
could have done without. Still, it was what his grandfather had commanded;
that meant Yosho would obey. He went back to sweeping the walkway.

The sweeping only went on for a few minutes longer before Yosho noticed a
gleaming high in the sky above. He let his broom fall to the ground and
shielded his hands over his eyes as he stared at the object. It was getting
larger by the second, and within moments, was hanging directly overhead. It
was so enormous that it seemed to blot out the sky with its tremendous
size.

"Oh my." The spell woven by the appearance of the strange object lasted
only a moment longer before Yosho snapped out of his open-mouthed stupor
and ran to the shrine office. He burst through the door and ran over to his
grandfather, who was sitting next to a small table and calmly sipping some
tea. Calmly, that was, until Yosho had stormed in.

"What is it, boy?"

Yosho took a deep breath.
"Theresareallybigspaceshipoutsideanditlookswierd."

A teacup bounced off Yosho's skull. "Say that again. This time in slow
motion."

Yosho took another deep breath and began once more. "There's a really big
spaceship outside and it looks weird. I mean, I think it's wooden. At least
it looks like wood on the outside." Yosho was stunned to see his normally
unflappable grandfather turn pale.

"They've finally found me," he gasped.

Stunned by the response, Yosho watched as his grandfather got up and began
running around faster than Yosho had ever seen. He opened a few drawers,
then handed the contents to Yosho. "These are the keys to all of the areas
of the shrine. There's a small amount of money I have stashed under the
floorboards in the corner next to my bed. If anything happens to me, it's
yours." He placed his hands on Yosho's shoulders and said in a solemn
voice, "I leave this place in your care. Remember, I've always loved you."
Without another word he headed out the door and into the yard beyond.

Yosho waited only a few seconds to try to process what had just happened.
Failing that, he ran outside and followed his grandfather. He ran as fast
as he could, confident he could catch up to the older man within seconds.
However, as unbelievable as it seemed, Yosho could not seem to catch up to
him; his grandfather kept pulling further away by the second. Just as the
younger man was about to give up hope of catching up, the object of his
pursuit stopped beside the large pond on the outskirts of the shrine. For
some reason, he was looking upwards.

"Uh oh! Here she comes."

Yosho looked up just in time to see a large red blur plunge out of the sky
and hit the pond, splashing water everywhere and drenching him. After
spluttering out some water, Yosho managed to say, "What the heck was that?"
He took a look at his grandfather, who seemed petrified as he continued
staring at where the blur had hit the water.

Yosho found his question answered as a figure walked out of the pond, not
more than twenty feet behind where he and his grandfather stood. The figure
was a girl, beautiful with blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She was wearing
an official-looking blue and gray uniform that reminded Yosho of the
military or something.

The moment her eyes fell upon Yosho's grandfather, they narrowed ever so
slightly. "There you are." She pointed an accusing finger at him.

That snapped the older man out of his stupor, and he began running once
more. That caused the girl to draw the gun from her belt holster and point
it at him. "Oh no! Don't you dare try to run away again. Halt!"

Yosho suddenly found the air filled with laser fire. And since he was
in-between his grandfather and his attacker, a goodly number of the blasts
headed towards him as well. During his grandfather's intensive training, he
had taught Yosho the proper defense for when someone began randomly
spraying lasers in your direction.

Yosho began running for his life.

After a few moments of terrified screaming, Yosho found himself catching up
to his grandfather. "What is going on? Why is she trying to shoot you?"

"Long story! Don't worry about it!"

Yosho saw that the two of them had almost made it to the nearby forest. In
his gut, he knew if they could make it to the edge, they could lose
themselves amongst the tangle of brush that lined the forest beyond.

They had almost made it to the treeline when a figure walked from around a
tree directly in front of them and then leaned lackadaisically against it.
She had spiky red hair, and appeared to be about fourteen or so. Yosho's
grandfather stopped on a dime, causing Yosho to follow suit.

The young girl scowled at the older man. "Going somewhere?"

An "Urk!" was all the older man got out as he pivoted and changed direction
once again, choosing a course perpendicular to the one that his two
opponents lay in. Again, Yosho found himself following, this time not
coming close to catching up. His grandfather got ten yards, then increased
the distance to twenty, ahead of him. The first vestiges of true fatigue
began to set in when a figure materialized, right out of thin air, directly
in front of his grandfather. She had spiky, cyan-colored hair and a wild
look to her yellow eyes. She was so fearsome that even Yosho stopped well
before getting too close to her.

"Hi there," she said to the older man right before a long crimson energy
sword appeared in her hand. Yosho's grandfather barely evaded the thrust
that had been aimed at his feet. Large chunks of ground went flying up from
the attack, but the older man had already headed off in a new direction to
get away from the third attacker.

As Yosho found himself running after his grandfather again, he realized
something. It didn't appear so much that the women were trying to kill the
older man as much as herd him in a certain direction. Yosho thought about
their possible destination. There wasn't anything special in the direction
they were headed towards. Just the large tree that had the spirit wards on
it.

A moment later, Yosho's theory seemed to bare fruit as both he and his
grandfather entered the open area of water the tree rested in, and promptly
discovered a woman with long, flowing purple hair and dressed in a pink,
formal-looking outfit, waiting for them. Perhaps the strangest thing about
her appearance was the ring of tiny logs that surrounded her.

The older man pulled up to a stop. Yosho watched his grandfather turn
around, obviously looking for another avenue of escape. But around them
were the three other homicidal girls, now effectively leaving him nowhere
to go.

He placed a hand behind his head and began chuckling. "Heh heh heh. Long
time no see, Aeka."

The response was as cold as ice. "How dare you address me so easily." A
nimbus of yellow light began to surround her and her tiny floating logs.

Just when Yosho thought things could not get any worse, the large space
ship that had been hovering over the shrine now made its way over to hang
directly above the huge tree in the middle of the pond. It hung in the sky,
leaving Yosho to wonder what was going to happen next. Within moments a
beam of light came from the bottom of it and a figure materialized in the
beam.

Yosho found his mouth come unhinged as the most beautiful woman he had ever
seen stepped forth from the light and approached his grandfather. She was
tall, with her turquoise-colored hair tied behind her in what appeared to
be dual braids. Her face was achingly beautiful, and Yosho felt like
falling to his knees in reverence before her. He watched, awestruck as she
approached his grandfather. Assuming she was like the other girls, and was
probably after his grandfather's hide as well, Yosho found himself wishing
he had done something to her that would cause him to be struck dead too.
Dying at her hands would be a pretty darn good fate, as far as he was
concerned.

The woman walked up to the older man, giving him a soft look filled with
love. Slowly, she brought her hand up to his face, her fingers almost
caressing him, but falling just short. She gave Yosho's grandfather a
smile, then said,

"You've been a naughty boy, Tenchi." She grabbed his ear and pulled up
sharply, eliciting a sharp, "Ow!" of pain from him.

"Humph!" Ryouko said from off to the side, as Tsunami/Sasami released
Tenchi's ear. "And what exactly do you have to say for yourself?"

 "It was fun while it lasted," Tenchi sighed.

Ryouko smacked him in the back of the head.

Tsunami waved her hand at Ryouko, who backed off. "Now, now. I'm sure
Tenchi's sorry for all of the problems he's caused. There's no need for
excessive punishments."

Yosho looked at the scene in confusion. "Grandfather, just what is going on
here?"

"Grandfather?" Tsunami looked at the boy, then looked back at Tenchi. After
a moment, a wide smile blossomed on her features. "I see how it is. I guess
Ryouko had the right idea. You will have to be punished."

All of the hundreds of guns lining the exterior of the starship turned and
targeted Tenchi.

"NONONONO!" Tenchi shouted as he held his hands up in a warding gesture.
"He's the son of my adopted son! Adopted! I didn't sleep with anyone!
Honest!"

Mihoshi looked at him skeptically. "You mean to tell me that in the fifty
years you've been gone you've never slept with anyone?"

Tenchi raised an eyebrow at that. "With the five of you as my wives, it was
remarkably easy." He fell into a sitting position on the ground, crossing
his legs and frowning like a petulant child.

"How could you leave us like that?" Aeka protested.

Tenchi gave them all a serious look. "I have all of you as my wives."

Even Washuu felt herself at a loss. "What did we do wrong?"

Tenchi sighed. "You're not listening. I said I have all five of you as
wives. You didn't need to do anything wrong. You were just your usual
selves."

"But then why did you leave us?" Ryouko asked, practically in tears.

Tenchi stood up and placed his arm affectionately around Ryouko's
shoulders. "Allow me to explain it to you in the simplest terms I can
manage. Do you see your four 'sisters' standing around us?" He gave a broad
sweep of his hand in the others' direction.

"Yes."

"Now picture them, with their personalities intact, as men. And now picture
yourself married to them. All of them. And now think about how you're going
to satisfy their urges."

Ryouko did, fusing most of her brain cells in the process as for one, brief
moment, the full impact of the statement hit her all at once.

Tenchi left her twitching on the ground. "It's nothing personal. I just
needed a break. I mean, for God's sake, I was exhausted for almost an
entire year with having to perform my husbandly duties."

"But Tenchi, we didn't make you clean the palace floors more than once a
week," Mihoshi pointed out.

"Not those husbandly duties!" Tenchi snapped, cursing whatever spineless
emperor had allowed his wife to henpeck him into mandating that whomever
held the position of emperor had to personally clean all of the palace
floors. "I meant the sexual ones."

Washuu pulled out her transparent floating keyboard and began tapping the
keys. "That would explain the drop off in your sexual performance right
before you left." She flipped a screen in his direction and showed him a
graph that had a red line that started off high, but then took deep plunge
towards the end. "You needn't have worried."

Tenchi appeared surprised. "You mean you were going to give me a break?"

"No." Washuu whipped out a bottle of pills. "I'd have given you these
sexual performance enhancers. They'll make you a real stallion in the bed.
Heh, heh, heh."

Tenchi sadly shook his head. "How did you find me anyway?"

"Achika told us." Tsunami pointed to the large tree.

"Traitor," Tenchi mumbled under his breath at the space tree that he was
bonded to.

"Why don't you drop it with the 'Oh, I'm a poor old grandfather' routine?"
Washuu said as she put away her computer.

Tenchi sighed, dropping the illusion that he had used to mask his true,
youthful features. At least he had a true appreciation for what his own
grandfather had had to do in maintaining anonymity.

"JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!"

All eyes turned to the Yosho. After a moment of silence, Tenchi spoke up.
"Oh, I forgot you were here, grandson," He moved closer to Yosho and placed
an arm affectionately around his shoulder. Clearing his throat, he began.
"Well, the answer to this is kind of simple. Umm. Sort of. Okay. It's not
simple at all, but I'll explain it anyway. I'm really the Emperor of the
Jurai Empire."

"I knew that," Yosho said.

"You did?" Tenchi said.

"Yep." Yosho answered. "And I'm really the greatest action film star in the
universe, Jackie Chan the Fourth."

"Wow! Can I have your autograph?" Mihoshi held out a pen and pad.

"He's kidding!" Tenchi shouted. "Look, Yosho. I really am the Emperor of
Jurai. You see, about seventy years ago, my great-grandfather, Emperor
Azusa The First stepped down from the throne and passed the crown to me,
the only male heir willing to accept the duties. Since by royal decree no
bachelor may become Emperor, I had to marry. And since there were five
women in my life that I cared about, and I didn't know which one to choose,
and didn't want to hurt any of their feelings-"

"You married all of them," Yosho finished in a dry voice. "Grandpa, you're
an idiot."

Tenchi raised his fists to the skies. "Now I understand why my great-grandf
ather and grandfather laughed so hard at the wedding! They knew this was
coming!" Tenchi took a moment to compose himself. "You don't know what it
was like trying to satisfy these five women and their voracious appetites!
Aeka and Tsunami with their leather and whips."

"Those are standard parts of Juraian Bridal Training," the girls said as
one.

"Washuu and her 'science experiments'."

"You mean you don't like having electric shocks being administered to you
during sex?" Washuu asked.

"Mihoshi and the hamsters."

"But they're so cute and cuddly," Mihoshi giggled.

"And Ryouko and her lack of imagination in bed."

"Hey, I'm a standard 'meat and potatoes' kind of gal, if you know what I
mean," Ryouko said, pouting.

"You have no idea what it was like having to put out for five women for
twenty years straight. It was like Hell, I tell you!" Tenchi began crying
again.

"Wimp," Yosho muttered under his breath.

Tenchi composed himself once again. "Eventually, I couldn't take it
anymore. So one day, I decided to make a break for it."

"We should have known there was something funny when you said you were just
going down to the corner to buy a gallon of milk and didn't come back for a
month," Aeka said.

Tenchi continued despite the interruption. "I decided to follow the
time-honored family tradition of ducking responsibilities by hiding out,
just like my grandfather did. I hid myself on a backwater world, this one
specifically, and opened a shrine and pretended to be a normal priest,
faking aging over the years." Tenchi focused all of his attention on Yosho.
"Everything was going fine until one day someone left a little baby on my
doorstep, namely your father. I couldn't find it in my heart to throw him
out or give him up, so I raised him like my own son. Eventually he grew up,
married your mother and had you."

"I get the picture," Yosho said. "And that brings us to the present."

"Well, since you did remain faithful to us, I guess we can forgive you,"
Tsunami said. All of the other girls nodded their heads in agreement. With
the decision unanimous, she gave Tenchi a warm, forgiving smile. "Before we
go, do you have any last requests?"

"Can I have another fifty years off?"

"NO!" The five shouted as one.

"It was worth a shot." Tenchi shrugged, then brightened a bit. After fifty
years, he did feel refreshed enough to take on his responsibilities again.

Tsunami brought her spaceship to the ground. A ramp unfolded, and the
others began to board it, keeping a close eye on Tenchi to make sure he got
on.

Yosho was at a bit of a loss. Since none of the women refuted the story, he
assumed it was true. Besides, his grandfather lacked the imagination to
come up with such a fanciful tale. He decided to speak up. "Grandpa."

"Yes?" Tenchi turned to look at his grandson.

"I have to say, I'm disappointed in you." Yosho pointed his finger, as
though he were scolding an upstart child. "I don't know how you could
possibly abandon these five gorgeous women who are so obviously in love
with you. I know if it was me, I would have been able to satisfy them and
then some. Why, I bet I could handle six, no, seven wives, if I had to. As
much as I love you, I have to say I'm disappointed that you've turned into
such a wimp."

"You think it's that easy?" Tenchi asked, his eyebrow raised ever so
slightly.

"Damn straight." Yosho thumped his fist to his chest.

Tenchi nodded his head. "I see. Well, I guess I'd have to commend you for
your ah, manliness." He turned his face away from his grandson. "Say, I
have an idea. Why don't you come to the Jurai Throneworld with me? Check
out your grandfather's old home and Empire. I'm sure I'll be able to find
something to entertain you once we get there."

"Sounds great." Yosho was supposed to spend the entire Autumn with his
grandfather, and even if they were off-world, he'd still be with him. There
shouldn't be any problems.

Tenchi hid a sinister smile as his grandson boarded the ship. As
egotistical as Yosho could be sometimes, he was a wonderful, morally
upstanding boy that Tenchi was proud of. And it was not as though Tenchi
had not been the same age when he had first encountered Ryouko and the
other girls. Yosho could handle himself very well.

Of course, Yosho's mouth could get him into trouble sometimes, like when he
shot it off about how Tenchi was a wimp in not being able to handle the
five girls. He really shouldn't have said such things about his own
grandfather.

Especially a grandfather that had five daughters that were every bit like
their mothers, if not worse. Tenchi was going to have fun introducing them
to their 'nephew.' And right about the time when they were old enough to
start being married too.

Yosho really, really, should have learned to keep his mouth shut.