Ryoko's Profiles: Sasami

A really old fanfic by BGlanders

*****

     I am tough.  I am invincible.  Nothing can move me.  I am a rock and
everyone damn well knows it.  God help the soul that crosses the fearless
space pirate Ryoko, even if that someone is some prissy little bitch like Aeka
or some ditzy slut like Mihoshi.  When I want something, I take it.  When I
want to do something, I do it.  Even if that something is just walking through
the woods, drinking saki, enjoying the day and just letting myself go.

     Its little things like that, you know; running through the woods, sitting
on the roof, just little things that seem so...big.  I was in that cave for
700 years.  Before that, I was Kagato's slave for 5,000 years.  Over 5,000
years of my life were lived out in perpetual hell.  I had no control over my
actions.  I'd scream for my hands not to kill, but they did.  I begged my body
not to go through with that man's insane crimes, to just stop.  I killed so
many, took so many lives, and as much as I wanted to cry, to just curl up and
die to get away from all the evil I had done, I laughed.  I sat in the Juraian
Royal Court while its subjects burned to death at my feet, I sat and watched
as the palace crumbled and thousands died, and I laughed.  Do you know what
those people died for?  A tree.  A damn tree that can turn into a damn space
ship.  And Sasami...

     Sasami could have died that day.  She would have, if it hadn't been for
Tsunami.  I still haven't figured out if Tsunami did it out of pity for Sasami
or just to reach an end to her means, but whatever the reason, Sasami cheated
death that day, unlike so many of her subjects.

     Sasami is quite possibly the brightest, happiest, most innocent soul I've
ever met.  She was the only one who accepted me for who I was and never
questioned it twice.  If she had died back then, I don't know, I just don't
know...

     I think that in her I see what I wish I could have been.  Sasami is
everything I'm not; caring, gentle, mature (yes, I can admit it).  I've always
wondered if I could have been like that.  If I had been raised by a mother and
father instead of tested by machines, if I had just had someone to tell me
that they loved me, that they cared about me. That could have done so much...!
I woke up countless times crying in the dark, wishing desperately for someone
to come and hug me, to hold me and tell me everything's all right, but no one
ever came.  I never had a mommy, well, unless you count Washu.  However I
refuse, I flat out refuse to let that red haired bitch play the role of the
one who's suspossed to mean something in my life.  She gave me life, but
that's all...

     Gomen.  I've gotten off track. Washu can wait until I get to her.  Right
now I'm focusing on Sasami.  I don't know why I care about her.  For
everything she is and for everything I'm not, I should hate her more than
anyone on earth.  She had everything she ever wanted in life and I had
nothing!  She even has Tenchi's love, for God's sake!  He cares about that
little pipsqueak more than any of the rest of us.  Out of all of us, she's the
only one he relaxes around, the only one he really talks with.  I know she's
got a schoolgirls crush on him, and belive it or not that actually makes me
jealous!  I know she's 12, but someday, that freckled face is gonna look like
Tsunami, and that's competition I don't need, thank you very much.

     I know I souldn't care about her, that I should keep a safe distance, but
sometimes I'll be sleeping in the rafters and hear Aeka's door slide open, and
Sasami will walk out crying.  She leaves so she won't wake her sister, but
personally I wouldn't mind if Aeka never got another peaceful night's sleep in
her life.  Anyways, sometimes Sasami will come downstairs and curl up on the
couch and cry her little eyes out because of some bad dream.  Every time this
happens, I tell myself I won't soften up, that I won't help out in any way.  I
keep telling myself this as I slide through the rafters and float down to her
side.  I solidly affirm that I will not help her in any way as I hug her and
tell her everything's all right.  I tell her that I love her and that it was
just a bad dream.  I take her in my arms and rock her back and forth as the
quiet sobs slowly stop and sleep finally comes back to her.  I carry her back
upstairs and tuck her in without waking Aeka.  I do that to make her feel
better, and mabye to make myself feel better too.

     I'm strong.  I'm invincible.  I am a block of stone.  Around her though,
I start to feel all that slip away.  She's the most cheery, magical little
girl in the universe and I swear that I'll never let anyone or anything hurt
her.  I want her to have every oppertunity that I didn't.  I want her to smile
for all the times I cried, to laugh for all the times I felt like screaming.
I love her like she was my own sister, and when she hugs me or smiles at me,
when we stay up late and watch action movies and eat popcorn while everyone
else is in bed, I know that she loves me just as much.  She's the best friend
I've ever had, and nothing in the universe could ever change that.

*****

Okay, this was my first Fan Fic, and I wrote it on a whim.  Actually this is
the second draft as my computer screwed up my first one.  Its OAV based and
Tenchi & Co. are the properity of AIC and PIONEER.  Please send any and all
C&C to
BGlanders@aol.com