Disclaimer: These characters belong to AIC and Pioneer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Red Waters Ryoko's Pain This isn't supposed to be how it ends. Not at all. I'm not sure how it was supposed to end anymore, but this was not it. I keep telling myself that there is nothing I could've done. I admit that the signs were there, but there was no way I could've known what they meant. And it's the truth. Nobody else figured it out either, and Tenchi and Washu are much better at reading people than I am. Somehow that doesn't make me feel better. The first signs were this morning. Ayeka froze, right in the middle of eating, her food inches from her mouth. Without a word, she stood up, and left. I figured it was just "that time of the month." Tenchi followed her, with Sasami behind him. Hey. His funeral. After breakfast, I went to the roof, to rest in the sun. After a short catnap, I noticed her. She was washing her white robes, the ones she first showed up in. I think they're her official ones or something, but I never really cared. She hadn't worn them since, which made me curious. They looked pretty clean to me, but she kept washing them. "You know, if you don't stop that soon, you'll be the first person ever to bleach white." I said with as much insult in my voice as I could muster. Ayeka froze for a second, then continued her work. "I must make sure. It is important that they are spotless for what is to come." "And that is?" "Just some Jurian diplomacy. I must deliver a message. Do not trouble yourself, Miss Ryoko." Now it's hard to see a tear fall into sloshing, soapy water, but the more I think back, the more I'm positive that it was. Damn! That was some message she sent! I spent the rest of the morning tormenting her, occasionally teleporting out to check on Tenchi. When she went to clean her room, I hovered in the air, pointing out dirt spots that didn't exist, and stuff like that. Ayeka didn't snap at me once. The more I taunted her, the more she worked. And the lower her shoulders dropped. I didn't notice that at the time either, but I should've. I guess, technically, I did, but I didn't acknowledge it. She finished working to watch our favorite soap, the one that the whole family, short of Nobuyuki and Katsuhito, gather to watch, the one that even Ayeka and I put aside our differences so we can watch without interruption. Except this time. Ayeka kept staring at me. "Hey! Cut that out! Watch the stupid program, Princess!" I'd snapped at her. "Sorry, Miss Ryoko." She'd murmur and avert her eyes "Shh!" the others would hiss. And then, several minutes later, I'd notice her watching me again. The entire scene repeated itself every five minutes. Ayeka had found a new way to annoy me. And I believed that. Then Ayeka ate a very big lunch. "With that kind of appetite, it's no wonder that Tenchi likes me better than you." There! That should get her. Just to be safe... "What, did Tenchi knock you up or something?" I don't think Ayeka even heard me. Her entire mind seemed to be focused on eating. After lunch, she disappeared on a walk. I could've found her, but that would be too much work. Besides, I didn't care. This gave me free time to flirt with Tenchi. She didn't come back until evening, when we were watching the news. Well, THEY were watching the news. I just wanted to be with Tenchi. Ayeka came in very slowly, drawing everybody's attention to her. Slowly her eyes moved from person to person, studying each of us. I didn't like it. She seemed to be memorizing every detail about me. "If anybody needs me, I shall be in our room. Please, do not interrupt me unless it is important, I do not wish to be disturbed." Slowly she disappeared up the stairs. She had the strangest face. I'm not good at reading those kinds of faces. Even now, I have no idea what she was feeling, what was going through her head and heart. "Miya?" Ryo-oki asked. "I don't know, Ryo-oki." I smiled. This was my last attempt. If this didn't get Ayeka, I must have slipped into a parallel universe. "Maybe she's creating a secret carrot stash." That was all Ryo-oki needed. Dropping into her cabbit form, she darted up the stairs. "Shh!" Tenchi hushed with a smile on his face. We listened, and, sure enough, a soft thud was heard, as Ryo-oki forgot to phase through the door. Everybody burst out laughing. "Wait!" Tenchi said through his laughs. We listened for it again, when Ayeka would inevitably chase her out. For a long time, no sound came. For some reason, Ayeka's face floated in my mind, wearing that strange expression that I could not read. Then we heard a loud crack, as Ryo-oki came bolting down the stairs. "Ryo-oki!" I gasped. "Slow down!" I clutched my head, as Ryo-oki's thoughts filled my mind. I tried sending her some soothing, warm thoughts, about Tenchi and carrots, to calm her down, but she didn't even seem to notice them. Ayeka, sleeping. Something was wrong about the way she slept. She wore soft pink robes. Red water flowed from her futon, across the floor. Pink robes... Red water... "Oh my god!" I screamed as I teleported into Ayeka's room. And it was true. Ayeka lay there, sleeping serenely, a silver dagger plunged through her heart, a piece of paper in next to her head. The blood had stained her dress a beautiful pink, and it flowed, across the floor like red water. Tenchi knelt in the doorway, sobbing, the blood lapping against his legs. This isn't supposed to be how it ends. I am supposed to win Tenchi, make him realize that he loves me in a way he could never love Ayeka. Or at least Ayeka wins, and makes him realize he loves her as he could not love me. But this... I cannot win be default...It's blasphemy. "Tenchi? Ayeka? What happened?" Oh no! Sasami! I turned to the door. I gasped as Tenchi backhanded Sasami, Sasami went crashing into Mihoshi's room. Tenchi leapt up and locked the door. I stared at Ayeka's form in disbelief for God knows how long. With a sigh, I teleported into Mihoshi's room. Sasami crouched, prepared to dart out the door the moment somebody opened it. "Sasami..." I whispered. "What's going on? Where's my sister? I want to talk to Ayeka!" "You can't." I said, fighting back the tears. I had to be strong. Sasami needed me to be strong. "Not now." "When? When will I be able to see her?" "Never..." Was all I could say as I exploded into tears. I failed. I could not be strong for Sasami. I was weak. "That's not funny Ryoko." She yelled. "It's true." I choked on my emotions. "You're lying!" Sasami screamed, hatred flaring in her eyes. That looked so odd. Hatred was completely "not-Sasami" and it was a complete contrast to her innocent face and soft pink eyes. I only had a moment to observe this before she struck me. My ultimate defense. I enjoy pain. I'm not sure why, but I do. Did Kagato program that into me? Or did I create it myself, as a way to block the anguish of those dark deeds, to accept them. However, this did nothing against Sasami's attack. I had only felt this kind of pain twice before, when I came in contact with the master-key. I do not understand why I cannot enjoy this pain as I enjoy other pain. Perhaps it is because Tsunami is the Goddess of Life, and it is not actually pain, but rather absense of no-pain. I'll probably never understand it, just as I will never understand why I feel good when my body is struck. Sasami's attack filled me with this alternate pain. It sapped my strength, dropping me to the floor, and there was nothing I could do, as it ravished my life energies. "I'm...sorry..." I gasped. I do not know who I was apologizing to. Ayeka,for not realizing what she was going to do, until it was too late? Tenchi for not sparing him from the pain of Ayeka's death? Sasami assumed that I apologized to her, for she dropped her attack, but I do not think that was it. I was apologizing to myself, for letting everything fall apart, even as it did. My earlier thoughts were wrong. It was not supposed to end with one of us winning Tenchi over the other, although that's what we both thought. The true ending was not supposed to exist. It was supposed to continue in the same manner, forever. Sasami cooking, Ryo-oki eating carrots, Ayeka and I engaging in friendly little fights. Nothing was supposed to change. The ending is not wrong, although it isn't right either, it can't be. When I think about it, I have no idea how else it could've ended. There were others possibilities of course, but I do not know what they were. I'm pretty sure that all of them would have been sad, some not as sad as this, possibly some even sadder. Not that it mattered, for this was the ending, whether it be right or wrong. It's not that the ending is wrong, but rather that there was not supposed to be an ending at all. Sadly, I teleported back into Ayeka's room. Tenchi would need me. I needed Tenchi. Mihoshi lay unconscious on the floor. Tenchi was not in sight! The note! I hurried to Ayeka's side, but the note was gone. Tenchi had taken it. Where was he? I felt Ryo-oki transform. Tenchi was with her. I teleported outside, but Ryo-oki was already out of the atmosphere. The anger in her mind blocked out any attempts to communicate with her. I could get very little from Ryo-oki's mind. Images of her trying to befriend Ayeka came out more than anything else. Ryo-oki had just lost a great friend, one that she had worked very hard to get. And she didn't understand why. But Tenchi did, and Tenchi would make things right. At least that's what Ryo-oki thinks. I'm not so sure. "Tenchi...Ryo-oki...what are you doing?" What is it that Tenchi knows? What can he possibly do, and why does he need my Ryo-oki? Why can't he need me too? I need to do something, or, at least, to have someone with me. I enjoy pain. But not this kind of pain. It hurt even more than Tsunami's pain. This isn't supposed to be how it ends. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- C&C lighthawkwings@masakishrine.com