TENCHI MUYO! : "Mother's Day" by Ryan Mathews CHAPTER ONE "Please, Aeka? Pretty please?" "I said no, Ryoko! Now will you please get out of my room?" Ryoko fell to her knees, tugging gently on Aeka's dress. "C'mon, princess, have a heart! You know how important it is to me to impress your relatives!" "Why in the galaxy would *you* want to impress my mother and my aunt?" asked Aeka, irritatedly pulling away from Ryoko's grasp. "Well, your aunt is Tenchi's great-grandmother after all," Ryoko explained, getting to her feet. "Oh, I see," sneered Aeka. "And you really think I'll help you impress her? Besides, it isn't as if you have nothing to wear. You can conjure up any outfit you want, isn't that correct?" "Yes, but I just don't have your sense of style. I want a dress that says I can be a perfect Juraian wife. Something like what you're wearing now!" Ryoko once again tugged on Aeka's dress, and this time it phased off Aeka's body, leaving her in her underwear. Ryoko held the dress in front of her and looked in the mirror. "Yes, this would be perfect!" Aeka shrieked, trying to cover herself. "Give me that!" she yelled, yanking back the dress. "I see no reason to help you to make a good impression on Aunt Funaho, so you might as well leave." Ryoko snorted. "Fine, if that's the way you want it. When you and Tenchi are talking to the Juraian Queens, I suppose I can just appear in some lingerie. Or an S&M outfit. Or maybe my birthday suit!" "You wouldn't!" "Wanna bet?" Ryoko smiled evilly. "See how much respect they have for Tenchi once I show up in leather and call him my slave!" A vein began to pulse in Aeka's forehead. "You... disgusting... little..." "Now, now! If we trash the place in a fight, what kind of impression will that make?" Aeka took a deep breath and let it out. "Alright! I know when I'm beaten. I will attempt to find some clothing that will be... appropriate for you." "Oh, thank you, princess!" exclaimed Ryoko, jumping with joy. "You're such a good sport!" "Just remember, I *will* get you back for this. Now let's see. What do I have that I could live with you wearing?" The door opened and in walked Washu, startling Aeka. "Whoa! Sorry, didn't know you weren't decent." "It's alright," she sighed. "I'm getting used to it." "I just came to tell you your mother and aunt have arrived. They're in the living room having tea." "Already?" said Aeka. "Oh my, I wasn't expecting them this early." Washu turned to Ryoko, looked her up and down, then grinned. "Hello, Ryoko," she said, "or should I say 'half of Ryoko'?" "'Half of Ryoko'?" repeated Aeka. Ryoko smiled nervously, a drop of sweat beading on her temple. "Why, Washu, whatever do you mean?" Washu placed her hands on her hips and sniffed. "Come now. Do you really think a mother isn't going to notice when half her daughter's mass is missing?" "Half her mass is missing?" said Aeka, blinking. Then it sank in. "Oh, no! Oh, NO!" She put on her dress as quickly as possible and ran out of the room. "Thanks a *lot*, Washu!" yelled Ryoko. "You're welcome," giggled Washu. Aeka ran down the steps and into the living room. Her aunt Funaho and her mother, Misaki, were there, sipping tea just as Washu had said. And sitting across from them, snuggling up to a very uncomfortable-looking Tenchi, was another Ryoko. "That's right," said Ryoko. "Tenchi and I are just deliriously happy! That's the way it is when you're truly in love. Every day is more wonderful than the last! Isn't that right, Tenchi?" "Yeah, right, whatever," said Tenchi, sweating bullets. "Do you think you could move back a little?" "Oh, Tenchi! You're such a tease!" Funaho smiled. "It's wonderful to see my great-grandson so happy." Misaki's big eyes misted with tears. "Isn't true love beautiful?" "Ry-OKO!" Ryoko looked behind her to find a livid Aeka standing behind the couch. "Just *what* are you trying to pull here?" fumed Aeka. "Why, I don't know what you mean," said Ryoko, feigning innocence. "Tenchi and I were just discussing our relationship and--" With that unmistakable sound, the other Ryoko teleported into the room. "Aeka, wait! Oops, too late." Her double angrily leapt to her feet. "You bonehead!" Ryoko shouted. "You were supposed to be stalling her!" "It's not my fault!" said the other Ryoko. "Washu narked on us!" "Now there's a fascinating talent," said Funaho, not the least bit perturbed. "I'll say," agreed Misaki. "Do you think you could teach me how to do that?" "Sorry," replied Ryoko #1. "You gotta be born with it," said Ryoko #2. Both Ryokos vanished to be replaced by a single one. She walked back to the couch and sat down, this time a safe distance away from Tenchi. Aeka walked over to sit on Tenchi's other side, when Misaki cleared her throat. "Aeka, dear. Aren't you forgetting something?" "Oh. I'm sorry." She gave Ryoko a warning glance, then screamed "MOMMY!" and ran into Misaki's arms. Ryoko found it hilarious, but wisely kept that opinion to herself. "Oh, my baby!" whined Misaki, squeezing Aeka until she nearly turned blue. "I miss you so much! When are you coming home?" "I don't know, mother." Aeka gently pulled loose. "I just have so much to keep me here." "Don't be silly," said Ryoko. "I'm sure we can spare you for awhile if you want to visit your homeworld." "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you!" yelled Aeka. "What do you mean by that?" "You know what I mean!" "I'm just saying that you should spend time with your family. Heck, you should feel lucky to *have* a family. I don't!" "Oh, really?" said Aeka. "And what happens to Tenchi while I'm gone?" Ryoko grinned. "Don't worry. I'll take real good care of him." Tenchi looked ready to die of embarrassment. "Are they always like this?" Funaho asked Tenchi. "No. Only when they're awake." Funaho started to laugh. "Your great-grandson certainly has a way with the ladies," commented Misaki. Funaho nodded. "Agreed. But that's not what makes me laugh. It's just that Ryoko and Aeka, they remind me so much of you and me when we were their age." "Huh?" said Ryoko, Aeka, and Tenchi in unison. "Aeka, do you know why your father instituted the rule of two queens, one from Jurai and one from offworld?" Funaho asked. Misaki started to sweat. "It was to keep Misaki and me from killing each other." Misaki laughed nervously. "Oh, sister Funaho, you exaggerate so much!" "No, really!" insisted Funaho. "You see, Misaki and I were both very attracted to young Prince Azusa, and we both resolved to win him, even if it meant resorting to underhanded means. At first, the pranks were harmless. She locked me in a closet, once. Another time I spiked her drink with a drug that took away her voice. Eventually, though, the situation started to get dangerous." "Now you're really exaggerating," said Misaki. "I would never do anything to harm you!" "What about the time you set me on fire?" "That was an accident!" Misaki shouted. She turned to the others to explain. "You see, the chemical was only supposed to vaporize her clothes, leaving her naked in front of... the..." Her voice trailed off as she realized she'd admitted everything. "--royal court," she finished. Aeka was shocked. "Mother. I had no idea." "Neither did I," agreed Ryoko. "And here I was thinking Juraian royalty were all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud. Hey, Misaki, maybe later you and I could compare notes?" "Anyway," continued Funaho, "Azusa loved Misaki and me too much to see either of us get hurt, so he married both of us. That's a way out for you as well, Tenchi." Tenchi sputtered and choked. "Please, Aunt Funaho," said Aeka, "you're embarrassing him." Tenchi nervously changed the subject. "Grandfather sends his regrets. Ordinarily he'd be here, but he's with my father in Hawaii. My father's attending a big architectural convention and Grandfather convinced him to let him come along." "Well, I suppose it's our fault for having given you so little advance notice," said Funaho. Sasami arrived, carrying a plate of cakes. "Here you go, everyone! Have as many as you want!" Everyone dug in. "Ooh, they're so good!" beamed Misaki. "Did you really make these yourself?" Sasami nodded proudly. "She gets her cooking ability from her father," said Funaho, eliciting a nasty look from Misaki. "I also made this for you, Mom!" Sasami handed Misaki a small card. "Oh, it's lovely!" Misaki gushed. "Such pretty artwork! And inside it says... um... uh..." Funaho glanced over. "You can't read it?" "Well, um, no," admitted Misaki. "Let me have a look," said Funaho, taking the card. "Oh, this is English! You mean you only learned one Earth language, Misaki?" "Learning languages is hard..." Funaho sounded out the syllables. "That means 'Happy Mother's Day'." "What's 'Mother's Day'?" Aeka asked. "It's a holiday!" replied Sasami. "It's for honoring mothers and giving them gifts." Misaki smiled. "How thoughtful of you, Sasami!" Aeka grumbled, "Wish she'd told me..." Washu popped up behind Ryoko. "So, did ya get me anything?" Ryoko snorted. "Get real. You want a gift, I'll get you some luggage. You can pack and leave." "Not very thoughtful of you," sighed Washu. The doorbell rang. "I'll get it," she said. Washu walked out of the living room to the main door of the house. She felt a little down. Although she'd never admit it to anyone, least of all herself, Ryoko's constant rejection of her as a mother figure was starting to bother her. Okay, so she hadn't been the perfect mother. So she hadn't been around for the first two thousand years of her daughter's life. It hadn't been *her* fault. It's awfully difficult to bond with your child when you're imprisoned in crystal. "Would it really burn her lips to say 'Mom' just once?" she muttered. She reached the door and opened it. She blinked and staggered backward. For a moment she was certain Kagato had returned. She took a second look and saw, to her relief, that she had been mistaken. This man's hair was blue and very long, and his eyes sparkled in a way Kagato's never did. Still, the angular face, the pale skin; the resemblance was frightening. "Is this the Masaki residence?" he asked. His voice was also different from Kagato's: soft and low, not threatening at all. "This is it." "Perhaps you can help me. My name is Lhim-Zen. I'm looking for a 'Miss Washu'." "That'd be me. What can I do for you?" The man raised his eyebrows. "Is there someone else here by that name? The woman I'm looking for is a great deal older." Washu grinned. "I'm older than I look. Why don't you come inside?" "Thank you." He stepped through the doorway and stopped. He peered into the adjoining room. "Is that... Ryoko?" "Yes, do you know her?" "I've never seen her before. But now that I have, I'm certain that I came to the right place." He untied the string that held his hair in a tight, long ponytail, and gave his head a toss. His blue hair spread out like a peacock's tail, forming a large brush of thick blue spikes. It looked exactly like Ryoko's. "Miss Washu, I believe you are my mother." * * * The door to Washu's interdimensional laboratory opened and out walked Washu, grinning from ear to ear. "Well, folks," she announced to the anxious crowd gathered outside the door, "the tests are positive! May I introduce Lhim-Zen, my son!" "Pleased to meet you!" shouted everyone except Ryoko. "Look at that hair!" said Sasami. "You really are Ryoko's brother!" Lhim-Zen smiled and sighed. "Actually, I hope Mother will forgive me for saying this, but that's one trait I wish I hadn't inherited. It gets in the way when I'm trying to do experiments." He retrieved the string from his pocket and tied his hair back into the ponytail. "You're a scientist, too?! I'm so happy!!" Washu locked onto his waist. "Why don't you join us for some tea and tell us all about yourself?" asked Aeka. "Actually, that would be wonderful." Washu giggled. "You're still tasting that probe I stuck in your mouth, aren't you?" A short while later, everyone took their places around the living room table, eager to get to know the new arrival. All except Ryoko, that is, who sat away from the group, a sour look on her face. Tenchi began the questioning. "So, are you really Washu's long-lost child? The one who was taken from her almost 20,000 years ago?" "As far as I know. I have no memory of my real mother, and my adoptive parents never explained what happened to her. I've always wondered what my life would have been like if I'd been raised by my natural mother. Now that I've met her, I can say it would have been more or less the same. We've both devoted our lives to science." "I hope you don't mind my saying so," said Tenchi, "but you resemble someone else besides Ryoko. Are you by any chance related to--" Washu cleared her throat. "I don't think Lhim wants to spend the entire afternoon discussing his family tree. I want to know what you've been up to for the last ten millennia!" "I'm a free-form scientist, much the same as you," Lhim replied. "The only major difference is that I don't believe in permanent laboratories. I believe in applying science in the field. I go where the action is, you could say. Speaking of which," he added, addressing Funaho and Misaki, "am I in trouble? I know this planet is off-limit to everyone but natives and authorized Juraians." "Oh, I think we can overlook it," said Funaho. "Besides, the maximum penalty is to have your ship impounded." "Well, that's a relief. I don't have a ship." "You don't have a ship?" Aeka asked. "Then how did you get here?" "I hitched a ride with a chocolate smuggler." "Chocolate smuggler?" asked Tenchi. "Oh, yes. Chocolate is the most popular illegal export from Earth. A little over a ton is smuggled off the planet each year. It's just so much better than chocolate grown anywhere else. I think it must be your planet's soil." Misaki sniffed. "Chocolate smugglers. The scum of the galaxy. Exploiting people's sweet tooths for obscene profits. They disgust me." "Really?" said Funaho. "Then what are those six boxes in our ship's hold marked 'Hershey's'?" Misaki grimaced, then sighed. "How much for your silence?" "One box." "You're cruel, sister." "I don't get it," said Sasami. "Without a ship, where do you keep all your stuff?" "Why, behind the ears of little girls, of course!" Lhim-Zen reached behind Sasami's ear and pulled out a magnifying glass. "Wow!" shouted Sasami. "Do that again!" Washu grabbed ahold of Lhim-Zen's hand and took a closer look. "Well, I'll be. Dimensional pocketing gloves. One of my classic inventions! They allow the wearer to transfer any item into an extradimensional 'pocket', where it can be retrieved when needed." Lhim-Zen nodded. "Let me give you another demonstration." He waved his hand over the table and a small, weathered, stone statue appeared. Funaho leaned in to get a closer look. "Ah. A traditional Juraian warding statue. Seventh dynasty?" "Sixth, actually. I found it in Mongolia, right here on Earth. My preliminary analysis indicates it is constructed of Earth stone, not transported from Jurai. If your scientists concur, you'll have a point of reference for determining the date of colonization." He handed the statue to her. "I don't know what to say. Thank you," said Funaho. * * * The conversation continued for hours, into the evening. Ryoko's mood paralleled the sky outside, growing darker as the sun set. She had planned for the royal visit ever since she had learned they were coming. She had intended to use the opportunity to show Funaho and Misaki what a good wife she would make for Tenchi. But in walked a stranger with her hair and Kagato's face (how disgusting), and suddenly he's the only topic of discussion. Any college psychology student could have told Ryoko her real problem: she was jealous of the attention Lhim-Zen was being given. But despite being two thousand years old, Ryoko was anything but emotionally mature. So she sat there stewing in her own juices, working up a dislike for the newcomer. <'Look at me! I'm Washu's son! I dig rocks! Aren't I fascinating?'> she thought. "So what do you say, Ryoko?" asked Washu. Ryoko jumped as she was startled back to reality. "I wasn't paying attention," she admitted. "I understand you have a ship," said Lhim-Zen. "If it's not too much trouble, I could use a lift." "What do I look like, a taxi service?!" "I only need to get to the nearest spaceport." "The nearest spaceport is THREE DAYS AWAY!! Why can't you leave with the Queens?" "We discussed that," said Funaho. "I suppose we could take him, but there would be those on Jurai who would want to know how he got to Earth in the first place. We're just trying to minimize the hassle. Three days isn't that long a time." "I am *not* leaving Tenchi alone with Aeka for six days!!" Ryoko yelled. "Relax," said Aeka. "I'm not like you." Ryoko briefly fantasized about blowing Aeka's head off with a single surprise energy blast. "Forget it! The answer is 'no'! That's final! End of discussion!" And with that, she stormed out of the room. "May I speak to her?" Lhim-Zen asked the others. "I don't think you should," said Tenchi. "When she gets like this, it's best just to avoid her." "Oh, I don't know. I have a funny feeling she'll listen to me." Lhim-Zen found Ryoko on the roof. "Mind if I come up?" "Suit yourself." She began to stand up. "No! Don't go! Just give me a moment of your time!" He waved his hand, and a ladder appeared. He climbed up and sat next to her. "Ryoko, if you think I have an ulterior motive in asking you to transport me, you're right. I want to spend some time with my sister." "I am *not* your sister." "But--" "Washu didn't give birth to me. She stuck one of her eggs in a machine with some alien goop and *made* me. All this 'mother' crap is her own invention. I have no feelings for her, and I certainly have none for you." "That's so sad. She cares deeply for you, you know." Ryoko stood up. "That's it. I'm out of here." She took a step and suddenly became dizzy. "This is a disappointment," said Lhim-Zen. His voice sounded cold, as if he were a different person. "I didn't want to resort to this, but I had no idea you'd be such a hard sell." Ryoko turned slowly, trying to keep her balance. In Lhim-Zen's left hand was a palm-sized device that looked familiar. Ryoko tried to place it. Lhim-Zen's fingers brushed the device and Ryoko marched back into the living room. "Ryo-oh-ki!! Yo, furball! Where are you?" The furry little cabbit marched up to her leg, meowing. "There you are. Go to the lake and fetch the rest of you. We're leaving as soon as possible." "Miya!" replied Ryo-oh-ki, and ran off. "So you've changed your mind," said Washu. "Yeah," sighed Ryoko. "Lhim-Zen talked me into it. We are brother and sister, after all. I'd like to think he'd help me out if I needed it. One thing before I go, though. Aeka!" "I know, I know," Aeka replied exasperatedly. "Hands off Tenchi." "Just so you know, if I return, and find that Tenchi has lost either his virginity or his bachelorhood, I *will* hunt you down and disembowel you." Aeka rolled her eyes. "Oh, I'm soooo scared." "You should be," said Ryoko, her voice as cold as ice. The look in Ryoko's eyes made Aeka gulp. "Look, relax! I swear on my honor as a Princess of Jurai that I will not deflower or marry Tenchi while you're gone." "Good." Ryoko left the room. "Did she just threaten my daughter?" asked Misaki. "I wouldn't worry about it," said Funaho. "It's just a healthy rivalry." * * * About an hour later, the party stood outside the house. Ryo-oh-ki the ship hovered in the air, ready to take Lhim-Zen and Ryoko on board. Washu faced her son. "This was far too brief, you know. I didn't ask or tell you half the things I wanted to." "I know, mother. I have some pressing business to attend, but I promise: once I'm free, I'll return and spend some real time here. Who knows, maybe we can be a mother-and-son scientific team. Wouldn't that be something?" "I'd like that." She hugged him good-bye. "Farewell. Be safe, Monshu." "'Monshu'?" "It's the name I gave you." "Hmm. 'Monshu'. It has a nice ring to it." Ryoko called from behind. "Hey! Are we going or what?!" "Anytime you're ready," replied Lhim-Zen. "Ryo-oh-ki! Take us aboard!" A beam of light enveloped the two of them, pulling them both into ship. With a mighty "MIYA!", Ryo-oh-ki zoomed into the distance and disappeared. Misaki blinked. "Oh, dear. I am such a bad girl." "Uh-oh," said Funaho. "I think Misaki just had an idea." END CHAPTER ONE