Disclaimer:  As much as I would love to take credit for the characters in 
this story, I cannot.  Tenchi Muyo and its characters are property of AIC 
and Pioneer.  “Simply Irresistible,” though based on pre-existing 
characters, is the property of the author and may not be reprinted without 
permission.  Ditto for all original characters found therein.  Now that that’s 
out of the way, enjoy the story!

Note to reader:  Once again, I have omitted a few minor characters for 
simplicity’s sake, because their appearances would not have contributed 
further to content.  This story contains slightly mature content, so if you 
are uncomfortable dealing with such issues, perhaps this story is not for 
you.  But, if you’re a letch like me, read on!

Simply Irresistible

Chapter 1:  Sparring Partner

	As was his habit on the majority of mornings, Masato was out on 
the lawn by the lake practicing his hand-to-hand combat motions.  Ever 
since he had arrived on Earth, he had not needed to use his techniques.  As 
a result, he felt that his sharpness was suffering.  He could almost feel his 
motions becoming more and more sluggish and uncoordinated.  As he 
finished his exercises, he frowned, knowing for a fact that he was a long 
way from his former abilities.  Dejectedly, he made his way inside the 
house to wash up.
	As he passed through the living room, Ayeka and Sasami passed 
him on their way out.  Ryo-ohki was perched on Sasami’s head.  “Where 
are you three off to?” asked Masato.
	“We’re going to the market today!” said Sasami.  Ryo-ohki 
meowed excitedly to confirm.
	“Yes, it’s our turn to pick up groceries,” Ayeka explained.  “We’ll 
probably be gone most of the afternoon.”
	“Okay, well, you all have fun,” said Masato half jokingly, knowing 
that grocery shopping was far from an entertaining way to spend an 
afternoon.  With an exchange of smiles, they parted company, Masato on 
his way to the bathroom and the others off to the market.
	While washing his face in the sink, Masato continued to consider 
the degradation of his fighting skills.  While he was in the Galaxy Police 
academy, he had been taught basic close-quarters fighting techniques.  
While they were sufficient for most situations, they were far from 
comprehensive.  So, Masato took extra classes under several martial arts 
instructors while he was on the force.  Over several months he became 
quite a formidable opponent according to his mentors.  While as a bounty 
hunter, these skills were invaluable to Masato, as they helped him not only 
to survive, but to ensure that he could handle himself when up against 
dangerous criminals.  Since that dark chapter in his life, his technique had 
severely degraded.
	As he rinsed the soap from his face, he stared at his reflection in 
the mirror.  “You’re losing your touch, pal,” he said to himself.  “You 
need to step it up a bit.”  However, Masato was clueless as to how to do 
that.  Tenchi and Yosho had helped his sword fighting abilities by leaps 
and bounds, but they knew very little martial arts aside from basics.  As far 
as he knew, none of the girls were as advanced as he in that area, either.  
He was at a loss.
	Then an idea flashed through his head.  It was a long-shot, but it 
never hurt to ask.  He dried his face off and made his way downstairs to 
Washu’s lab.
	After several knocks the pink-haired scientist opened the door.  
“Masato!” she said, surprised that he should come calling.  “What can I do 
for you?”
	“Actually, I need your help,” began Masato.  “You see, I can tell 
that my fighting skills are kind of rusty, and since I really don’t have a 
sparring partner around here, I was wondering if you could come up with 
some kind of training program I could follow.  If it’s not too much 
trouble.”
	“It’s no trouble at all!” Washu assured him.  “After all, I am the 
greatest genius in the known universe!  I’ll come up with something.”
	Washu led Masato into the laboratory and began to look around.  In 
the far corner of the laboratory they came across something that looked 
like a small arena.  “I remember this,” she said.  “It’s a light field 
generator.  When the light fields are concentrated and focused properly, 
you can create holographic projections.  I could probably use it to create a 
sparring partner for you.  All I’d have to do is upload a martial arts 
program into the database.”
	“A hologram?” asked Masato quizzically.  “But, wouldn’t my 
punches and kicks go right through it?”
	“Excellent question!” said Washu enthusiastically.  “Normal 
holograms are composed of nothing but light, and solid objects do indeed 
pass right through them.  However, I have discovered a pattern of light 
fields that, when used properly, can cause a hologram to feel quite solid.”
	“Remarkable,” marveled Masato.  “So, you can create a hologram 
like that for me?”
	“Absolutely!”  Washu said as her computer console materialized in 
front of her.  “Just let me calibrate the light field parameters, and upload a 
fighting program into the hologram’s software...”  Washu busily typed for 
several moments.  “...and there we go.  All set!”
	Masato turned around and saw standing in the arena a faceless 
figure wearing a traditional karate robe.  The figure was standing in a 
ready position, apparently ready for any oncoming attack.  “So I can just 
go ahead and... fight that?” asked Masato hesitantly.
	“Sure can!” returned Washu.  “This program automatically 
assesses your skill level, so it will automatically adjust to compensate.  So 
just go in there and have at it!”
	“Wow, this is fantastic!” said Masato.  “You really are a genius.”
	“I know,” said Washu with a smile.  “Now hold still a second.”  
Washu stuck a white disc on Masato’s arm.
	“What do you think you’re doing?” asked Masato in an alarmed 
tone, knowing Washu’s penchant for unsolicited experimentation.
	“Just relax,” she said.  “These are electrodes.  I’m going to measure 
your vital signs and energy output during your session.”
	“Well, alright,” said Masato.  “Just so long as you promise that 
that’s all you’re going to do.”
	“Promise,” Washu said as she placed another electrode on 
Masato’s forehead.

Chapter 2:  Unwanted Attention

	Masato was truly impressed with the holographic training program.  
Even during his short workout he could notice a sharp improvement in his 
coordination and his agility.  It was truly beneficial to be up against a 
worthy opponent, even if it was made out of nothing but light.
	During his session, Washu continued on with one of her many 
projects.  However, periodically she would find herself breaking from her 
machinations and just staring at Masato as he attacked the hologram.  She 
marveled at how quick he moved.  And with such authority!  How 
surprising it was to her that she had never noticed before how much she 
enjoyed watching him.
	At length an exhausted Masato exited the arena and gingerly 
rubbed a few minor bruises he had sustained.  “Boy, when you said the 
hologram would feel solid you weren’t kidding!” he said to Washu, who 
continued to stare.  “That thing’ll give you a thrashing if you’re not 
careful.”
	“Oh, I hope you’re not hurt!” said Washu as she rushed to his side.
	“Nah, nothing a day’s rest won’t cure,” said Masato passively.  “I 
really am impressed with the training program, though.”
	“I’m so glad you like it,” said Washu with a smile.  “I worked so 
hard to please you.”
	“Er, yes, thank you,” said Masato, not knowing the full 
implications of her statement.  “Oh, I’m sure you’ll want these back,” he 
added, removing the electrodes and handing them to her.
	Washu reached out and grasped his open palm tightly.  “Thank 
you,” she said breathlessly.
	Masato looked at her confusedly.  “Are you feeling alright?” he 
asked.
	“I feel wonderful,” she said, continuing to hold his hand and stare 
into his eyes.
	Masato was a little alarmed.  The normally objective expression on 
Washu’s face had been replaced by nothing more than a vacant stare.  
“You know, you’ve been down here an awful lot,” said Masato.  “Maybe 
you ought to think about getting some air.  A nice walk might do you some 
good.”
	“Sure.  Let’s go,” said Washu in the same heavy tone.
	“Huh?  No, I didn’t mean... oh, never mind,” said Masato as his 
hand gently retreated from Washu’s grasp.  “On second thought, I’m sure 
you’re very busy, and I think I have a few things I need to do, too, so I’ll 
just go ahead and get out of your way.”  Masato began to slowly back out 
of the laboratory, truly puzzled as to Washu’s behavior.  “Anyway, thanks 
for letting me use the training program.  I may try it again in a few days.”
	“I look forward to it,” said Washu, who blew Masato a kiss as he 
exited.  “Hurry back!”
	“Uh, sure, fine.  Bye,” said Masato as he quickened his pace.  As 
he shut the door behind him he breathed deeply.  What on earth was that 
all about?

	Masato sat at the kitchen table, a sketch in progress laid out before 
him.  He had meant to finish it, but he could not concentrate.  What had 
just happened, anyway?  He had never seen Washu space out like that 
before.  Masato was at a loss to explain the events of the morning.  “It was 
almost like she...” he thought aloud.  “She couldn’t have been... No, no 
way.  Not her.  She’s probably just overworked, is all.”
	“Who’s overworked?” asked a voice behind him.
	Startled, Masato wheeled around in his chair and came face to face 
with Mihoshi.  “Mihoshi, don’t sneak up on me like that!” said Masato.  
“You scared the daylights out of me.”
	“Sorry,” she said as she procured an apple from the refrigerator.  “I 
just couldn’t help but overhear you talking.  Who’s overworked?”
	“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing,” said Masato.  “It’s just that I was in 
Washu’s lab this morning and she was acting... a little strange.  I mean, 
stranger than usual.  It’s like she was someplace else entirely.”
	“You mean she wasn’t in the lab?” asked Mihoshi, scratching her 
head.
	“No, she was there,” returned Masato rather impatiently.  “But she 
wasn’t.  She was spaced out, or something.”
	“Oh, so she went into space!” determined Mihoshi.
	“No!” said Masato.  “She was in the lab.  Let’s just say she wasn’t 
acting normal, and leave it at that, okay?”
	“Good,” said Mihoshi.  “I was getting confused.”
	“You don’t say,” muttered Masato under his breath.
	“Maybe she should take a vacation,” said Mihoshi.
	“That’s what I was thinking,” agreed Masato.  “I mean, how long 
can she stare at that computer screen.  I swear, one of these days she’s 
going to crack.”  Masato realized that his prediction made little sense; 
Washu had cracked long ago.
	“You know,” began Mihoshi, taking a seat next to Masato, “I could 
use a vacation myself.”
	Masato looked at her irritatedly.  A vacation from what?  Every 
time he saw her, she was either napping, staring at the television, or she 
had food in her hand.  “Trust me, of everyone here you need a vacation the 
least,” declared Masato.  “You’re perpetually relaxed.  In fact, you’re 
relaxed enough for all of us.”
	“I know,” Mihoshi said as she slid her chair closer to Masato’s.  
“But wouldn’t it be great to just get away for a while?  Somewhere where 
we could just relax and forget about everything.  We would have such a 
great time.”
	“Hang on a minute,” said Masato cautiously, “since when am I 
going with you?”
	“Oh come on,” Mihoshi giggled with a smile.  “You don’t expect 
me to go anywhere without you, do you?”
	Masato raised an eyebrow.  Now it was his turn to be confused.  
“Why... why would you say that?” he queried anxiously.
	“Because I couldn’t bear to be away from you that long,” Mihoshi 
replied matter-of-factly.  “I want us both to go and have fun and be with 
each other.”
	Masato could not possibly reply to save his life.  He just continued 
to stare at Mihoshi with a dazed, perplexed expression.  “You know,” he 
said at length, “maybe you do need a vacation.  Why don’t you take Washu 
with you?  You both seem to be a little out of it.”
	“But I don’t want to go with Washu,” Mihoshi said as she grasped 
Masato’s shoulders.  “I want to go with you!  Please, let’s just go.  Right 
now!”
	Masato stood up sharply, truly unnerved at this turn of events.  
Mihoshi was acting the same way Washu was.  She even had the same 
blank expression.  Then again, Mihoshi’s expression was always blank.  
Nevertheless, her behavior was far from normal.  “I really can’t,” began 
Masato, struggling to find a polite way out of the situation.  “I mean, I 
can’t possibly go on such short notice.”  He began to slowly back out of 
the kitchen.  “Plus, I’ve got some stuff I’ve got to do, and this really isn’t a 
good time, so maybe we might have to forget the whole thing, okay?  
Well, like I said, I’ve got stuff to do, so I’m just going to go ahead and do 
it.  See you later.”  Masato hurriedly closed the remaining distance 
between him and the exit to the kitchen.  He hurriedly made his way 
upstairs, feeling a bit out of breath.  Since when did he step into the 
Twilight Zone?
	As he passed Kiyone’s room he was relieved to see her reading a 
book on her bed.  Finally, a sane voice.  Masato knocked twice.  “Can I 
come in a second?” he asked.
	Kiyone sat up.  “Sure, come in,” she said.  “You look like you’ve 
seen a ghost.  What’s the matter?”
	Masato sat down on the bed.  “Have you noticed anyone acting a 
bit odd lately?” he asked.
	“Not really,” said Kiyone.
	“Well, I certainly have,” assured Masato.  “Washu’s been acting 
like she’s got her head in the clouds.  And you might have to keep that 
partner of yours on a leash.  It was like they were both... I don’t know... 
coming on to me, or something.  Just all of a sudden.  It’s weird.”
	“That is kind of weird,” agreed Kiyone.  “But you look so tense.  
Here, let me massage your shoulders.”
	“Er... thanks,” Masato said as Kiyone kneeled down behind him 
and began to gently knead his shoulders.  “I mean, they never treated me 
like this before.  Why now?  It doesn’t make any sense.  I just don’t 
understand.”
	“It is hard to understand,” said Kiyone as she continued to rub 
Masato’s shoulders.  “Especially since they don’t know you like I do.”
	“I fail to see how that enters into it,” said Masato.
	“I mean,” said Kiyone, “that they can’t possibly understand how 
wonderful you really are.  But I do.  I always knew how perfect you could 
be.”  Kiyone slid her hands from Masato’s shoulders and wrapped her 
arms around him from behind.
	Masato swallowed hard, feeling something drop into the pit of his 
stomach.  “Kiyone, I really think I should go,” he said gently.
	“No, don’t go, Masato!” Kiyone pleaded.  “Stay here with me.”
	Masato forcefully retracted from Kiyone’s embrace and stood up to 
face her.  “Kiyone, I’m not exactly sure what’s going on here, but 
something is definitely wrong.”
	“No, everything is right,” said Kiyone as she leapt up and once 
again held Masato tightly.  “Everything is as it should be.  You and me 
alone together.  I always dreamed of this.”
	Once again, Masato firmly removed Kiyone’s arms from his 
person.  “No you haven’t” he said slowly, as if explaining to a child or a 
dog.  “We’re friends, remember?”
	“But why be friends when we could be so much more?” Kiyone 
asked anxiously.
	“Because we like being friends,” Masato continued in his patient 
tone.  “Remember how much we said we valued each other’s friendship?  
And how we said we would never do anything to jeopardize it?  
Remember?”
	“But then I didn’t feel this way about you.” said Kiyone, whose 
face had adapted a truly lovelorn expression.  “Now I just want to be with 
you forever.  Please tell me that that’s what you want, too!”
	“Has everyone gone mad?” asked Masato to the rest of the room.  
“Listen, Kiyone.  I’m not sure exactly what’s going on, but something is 
definitely wrong here.  And I promise I’m going to find out.  Until then, I 
want you to stay put and try to clear your head, okay.  Don’t worry, 
everything’s going to be fine.  I’ll get you all the help you need.”
	“I don’t need help!” shouted Kiyone.  “I need you!  Stay with me, 
please!”
	“I have to find out what’s wrong,” said Masato as he crossed the 
room to the exit.  “Just stay here.”
	Masato galloped briskly down the stairs and out the front door, all 
the while musing as to why the girls were all acting so strangely.  If all the 
girls had somehow been affected by something, then there was only one 
person he could turn to for help.

	As Masato crossed the lawn, he attempted to retrace his steps of 
the day.  All of this craziness had started that morning, so whatever was 
causing everyone’s odd behavior probably happened around then.  Before 
an answer could come to Masato, he felt a light tap on his shoulder.  
“Hello, Masato,” a voice behind him said playfully.  Recognizing the 
voice, Masato became truly fearful.  He slowly turned, and nearly fainted 
dead away when he found himself face-to-face with Ryoko.
	“Oh, this cannot end well,” he said weakly.
	“What do you mean?” asked Ryoko.
	“Er, I mean... I guess I don’t mean anything,” Masato said 
nervously.  “Forget I said anything.  What are you doing out here?”
	“I could ask you the same question,” Ryoko said suggestively.  
“Could it be that you’re looking for me?”  Masato wondered how he could 
answer that without ticking her off.
	“Well, not exactly,” he began, “but seeing you certainly is a... 
surprise.”
	“Well, I think you’ll find that I’m just full of surprises,” Ryoko 
said as she began to approach Masato.  Masato retreated, and much to his 
horror soon found himself with his back against a tree.  “Are you busy this 
afternoon?” Ryoko asked.
	“Well, there were a few, uh, things that I could--” Masato’s 
desperate attempt to end the conversation were cut off when Ryoko folded 
her arms around his neck.
	“Oh, come on, what could be more important than spending a nice 
quiet day with me?” Ryoko asked playfully.  “I know a few quiet spots in 
the woods I think you would really enjoy...”
	“Er, I don’t doubt that for a second,” said Masato as a line of sweat 
began to bead on his forehead.  “But, do you think you should be outside 
today?  I mean, I can tell that you’re not feeling quite yourself today.”
	“Oh, you’re so sweet!” said Ryoko as she hugged him tighter.  
“Looking out for my well-being like that.  But I feel marvelous.  Besides,” 
she added seductively, “why should I feel myself when I’ve got you to do 
it?”
	“HEY!” shouted Masato.  “That was uncalled for!”
	“Oh, I forgot how shy you are,” said Ryoko as she began to stroke 
his hair.  “I promise I’ll be nice.”
	“That’s beside the point, here!” said Masato, thoroughly agitated.  
“Now can you please let me go?”
	“You don’t have to be afraid of me,” said Ryoko in a soothing 
tone.  “I won’t bite... unless you want me to.”
	“Ryoko, for the love of God, will you please let me go!” shouted 
Masato.  More out of shock than out of compliance Ryoko released 
Masato from her embrace.  “Ryoko, don’t take this the wrong way, but 
you’re acting absolutely nuts today!” continued Masato, deathly afraid that 
his remarks may set off Ryoko’s temper.  “And for that matter, so is 
everyone else.  I swear that I’m going to get to the bottom of this.”
	As Masato turned to leave Ryoko said, “The only bottom I want 
you to get to is mine.”  She gave him a wink.  As a result, Masato began to 
run full speed away from Ryoko.  Ryoko could only smile.  “He plays 
hard-to-get like a pro.” she said to herself.  “I love a challenge!”

Chapter 3:  Help!

	Tenchi continued to sweep the steps of the shrine.  In a strange 
way, he looked forward to his chores.  After all, they were an excuse to get 
out of the house.  One person can only take so much of those girls before 
he loses it.  Wanting to milk his time away for all it was worth, he 
continued at a leisurely pace.  From inside the shrine, Yosho shouted, 
“Tenchi!  When you’re done sweeping, don’t forget to dust.”
	“Okay, Grandpa!” replied Tenchi merrily.  “I guess sometimes 
work really can set you free.”
	As he continued to maintain the steps, Tenchi suddenly noticed a 
figure who seemed to be running full-tilt towards the shrine.  When the 
person got closer, he could recognize him as Masato.  Tenchi gazed in 
confusion as Masato collapsed in a heap at his feet, breathing very heavily.
	“Tenchi!... must help...” he blurted in between breaths, “...girls 
crazy... want kisses... must hide...”
	“Masato, slow down!” said Tenchi, unable to make heads or tails 
of what was being said.  “What on earth are you talking about?”
	Masato waited until most of his breath came back to him.  “The 
girls have all gone crazy!” he said.  “All morning, they’ve been flirting 
with me and coming on to me.  All of them!  I thought Ryoko was going to 
drag me off somewhere.  Its chaos!  I need your help, Tenchi.”
	Tenchi was taken aback.  Masato had just described his own 
problem perfectly.  “Okay, okay, just stay calm,” he said to his shaken 
friend.
	“I can’t stay calm!” said Masato, stress apparent in his voice.  “I 
mean, do you have any idea what it’s like to have every girl in the house 
after you?”
	Tenchi frowned.  “A little,” he said.  “Anyway, I’m still not sure 
what’s going on.  Why don’t you explain to me exactly what’s been 
happening.”
	Masato, to the best of his abilities, attempted to explain to Tenchi 
what had happened all that day.  “That is really strange,” Tenchi 
concurred.  “And all of this started this morning, huh?”
	“Yeah,” said Masato.  “It seemed to start after I finished training 
with that new program that Washu made for me.”
	“Well, there’s your problem right there,” said Tenchi 
authoritatively.  “Obviously, something happened in Washu’s lab.”
	“You’re probably right,” said Masato.  “But I can’t go back in 
there.  I’m telling you, I really don’t feel safe.”
	“Would you rather stay outside with Ryoko?” asked Tenchi 
rhetorically.
	“Point taken,” said Masato immediately.  “But I’d feel a lot better 
if you came back to the house with me.  You seem to be able to handle the 
girls a lot better than I can.”
	“Sure, I’ll go back with you,” said Tenchi.  He shouted to Yosho, 
“Grandpa!  Masato has an, er... emergency.  I need to give him a hand, 
okay?”
	“Very well,” Yosho said dryly.  “Don’t be too long.”  Tenchi and 
Masato were already on their way back to the house.

	“Well, here it is,” said Masato, standing in front of the door.  
“Ground zero.  You first, Tenchi.”
	Tenchi opened the door and stepped inside.  “Relax, Masato,” he 
said to his friend, motioning for him to come inside.  “Nothing is going to 
happen.”  Just at that moment, as if to completely shatter Tenchi’s 
prediction, Mihoshi sprinted out the door and hugged Masato tightly.
	“Where have you been?” she asked.  “I was so worried!  Promise 
me you’ll never leave me again!”
	Masato looked at Tenchi with exasperation.  “See what I mean?” 
he asked.  He then turned to face Mihoshi.  “Mihoshi,” he asked politely, 
“would you be so kind as to let me go?  I seem to be unable to breathe.”
	“Oh, of course!” Mihoshi said with a smile.  “Anything!  You 
know, we still need to plan our vacation.”
	“Vacation?” asked Tenchi, thoroughly puzzled.
	“Oh, yes, the vacation!” said Masato, trying to think quickly.  
“Yes, you go on and plan it, and I’ll just go ahead and, uh, pack.  Yeah, I’ll 
just pack!  Can’t go on a trip unless you pack, can you?  Well, just let me 
on through, and I’ll pack.”
	“Oh, okay,” Mihoshi said.  “Well, hurry up.  The sooner you pack, 
the sooner we can leave.”  Mihoshi planted a kiss on Masato’s cheek, 
which proceeded to turn bright red.
	“Right, okay,” he said with an artificial smile.  “Well, I’ll be off 
then.  To pack.”  Masato blew past Mihoshi and grabbed Tenchi by the 
arm, leading him to the laboratory.  “Now you see why I need your 
protection,” he hissed into Tenchi’s ear.
	“Yeah,” was all Tenchi could say.
	“Let’s hurry up and get this thing straightened out,” Masato said.  
“I sure hope we don’t run into... Kiyone!” he blurted out as he saw her at 
the top of the stairs.
	Kiyone began to slowly saunter down the stairs.  The sweater and 
jeans she had been wearing earlier had been replaced by a nightgown.  
Never taking her eyes off Masato, Kiyone continued to slowly descend the 
staircase.  Each of her footfalls made Masato flinch nervously.  Finally, 
she stepped off the last stair and ambled her way to Masato.  Kiyone 
brought her face within inches of Masato’s wide-eyed expression before 
she said breathlessly, “I’ve been waiting for you.”
	“How nice,” Masato squeaked.
	“The way you left earlier, I thought something might be wrong,” 
she said, running her finger down his chest.
	“Yeah, I seem to remember mentioning something to that effect,” 
said Masato tightly.
	Kiyone stared intently into Masato’s eyes.  “You have no idea how 
long I’ve been waiting for this day,” she said, nearly whispering.  “Why 
don’t we go back up to my room and pick up where we left off, huh?”
	Masato began to tremble profusely.  “Well, I would, but I... er, 
well... uh... Tenchi, help,” he begged, turning to his bodyguard.
	Tenchi, who previously stood gawking at the scene unfolding 
before him, began to struggle to find the right thing to say.  “Well, 
Kiyone,” he said, grasping the back of his neck, “Masato told me that he 
would love nothing more than to, uh, spend some time with you, but I 
really need him to help me with something right now.  I promise I’ll get 
him back to you as soon as I can.”
	“Oh, no!” Kiyone said.  “Will it take long?”
	“I, uh, can’t really say right now,” said Masato.
	“Say, Kiyone,” broke in Tenchi, “why don’t you go back up to your 
room and wait for Masato there?”
	“Yes, please, go!” said Masato enthusiastically.
	The disappointment was evident on Kiyone’s face.  “Oh, alright,” 
she said reluctantly.  “Promise me you’ll come up when you’re done.”  She 
ran her hand across Masato’s cheek lightly.
	“Er, well, sure,” said Masato, relieved that Tenchi had thought of a 
way out of the situation.  “I just really need to go now.”
	“Hurry back,” she said.  She shot him several glances as she made 
her way back up the stairs.
	Masato breathed a sigh of relief.  “That was close,” he said.  “I owe 
you one, Tenchi.”
	“This is really weird,” said Tenchi, scratching his head.
	“You think?” Masato snapped.  “Now come on.  Let’s see if 
Washu can make heads or tails of all this.”

Chapter 4:  From Bad to Worse

	“Masato, darling!” squealed Washu as Tenchi and Masato entered 
the lab.  Washu ran up to Masato and hugged him forcefully.  “You’re 
back!  I knew in my heart of hearts that nothing could keep us from being 
together!”
	“Uh, hi,” Masato returned.  “Washu, I’m almost afraid to ask, but I 
need your help.”
	“Masato, you know I’d do anything for you,” said Washu as she 
squeezed tighter.  “I would go to the ends of the universe for you.”
	“That’s great, but fortunately that won’t be necessary,” said 
Masato.
	“Washu, don’t you see what’s going on here?” broke in Tenchi.  
“Everyone’s acting crazy!  Including yourself.”
	“Of course I’m acting crazy,” said Washu.  “I’m crazy about you, 
Masato.”  She tilted her head up to give Masato a kiss.  Masato frantically 
struggled to remove his lips from harm’s way.
	Suddenly, Tenchi got an idea.  “Washu,” he began hurriedly, 
“what’s the square root of 4,512?”
	“67.171422495,” she responded instantly.
	“What’s the area of an equilateral triangle with sides twenty five 
feet in length?” asked Tenchi.
	“270.632938683 square feet,” answered Washu with ease.
	“How many chromosomes do humans have?” Tenchi asked 
hurriedly.
	“Forty six,” said Washu mechanically.
	“Quick, Washu, look at Masato again!” shouted Tenchi.
	Washu turned to face Masato, whom she still held tightly in her 
arms.  Suddenly she released him from her grasp and retreated several 
steps.  “What in the world am I doing?” she asked as she brought a hand 
up to grasp her head.
	“Tenchi, what did you do?” asked Masato anxiously.
	“Something you told me earlier bothered me,” Tenchi explained to 
Masato.  “About how Washu looked like she wasn’t thinking.  I figured if 
I could get her to think again, she might be able to take her hands off you.”
	“Good thinking, Tenchi,” said Washu, who still looked a little 
dazed.  “I can tell now that the emotions I’m feeling right now are 
artificial.”
	“Well, then, what the heck caused them?” asked Masato.
	“I’m not sure,” said Washu.  “Whatever force caused them is 
incredibly powerful.  Even now, my mind is trying to tell me that I love 
you, Masato.  But since those feelings are not connected with my intellect 
or my logic, I can tell that they are not real.”
	“Well, that’s a relief!” said Masato.  “But I’m afraid we might not 
be able to convince the others of that.”
	“We will once we find out what’s going on,” assured Washu.  
“Masato, I’m going to need to run some tests on you.  Including a few 
blood tests.”
	“Fine,” said Masato.  “Bleed me dry.  I don’t care.  Just fix me!”
	“Tenchi,” Washu said as she turned to face him, “I need you to 
explain to the girls what’s going on.”
	Before Tenchi could comply, the three heard a crash and several 
shouts emanate from outside.  Tenchi sighed heavily.  “I suppose I’d better 
go out there,” he said reluctantly as he shuffled to the doorway.

	The scene that awaited Tenchi was far from agreeable.  A table had 
been overturned, and a lamp lay smashed on the floor.  Kiyone, Mihoshi, 
and Ryoko stood in the center of the living room gnashing their teeth at 
one another.
	“Not a chance,” yelled Kiyone, “Masato is mine!”
	“You can’t be serious!” retorted Ryoko.  “You don’t deserve 
someone like that!”
	“Oh, and you do?” asked Kiyone hotly.
	“Masato already promised to go on a vacation with me,” said 
Mihoshi.
	“Ha!  That’s a laugh,” said Kiyone.  “To think that Masato would 
agree to go anywhere with an airhead like you!”
	“Hey!” shouted Mihoshi.  “I am not an airhead!”
	“If you ask me,” broke in Ryoko, “you’re both airheads for 
thinking that Masato would want anything to do with you when you know 
that it’s me he loves.”
	“He could never love an obnoxious brute like you!” accused 
Kiyone.
	“Why, you stuck-up little...” trailed off Ryoko, anger burning in her 
eyes.  “I’ll make you pay for that!”
	“EVERYONE STOP!” shouted Tenchi at the top of his lungs.  
“Stop it right now!”
	The three turned to face Tenchi.  “You stay out of this, Tenchi!” 
yelled Kiyone.
	“Yeah,” said Mihoshi.  “We have to decide who gets Masato.”
	“That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” said Tenchi.  “These feelings 
you have right now are not real.”
	“What are you talking about?” asked Ryoko impatiently.
	“I’m saying,” began Tenchi, “that you’re not really in love with 
Masato.  You just think you are.”
	“Says who?” asked Kiyone.
	“Washu is working on fixing the problem as we speak,” revealed 
Tenchi.
	“Washu?” asked Mihoshi.
	“Well, then, I think I see what’s going on here,” said Ryoko 
quietly.
	“I’m glad we straightened this out,” said Tenchi.
	“Straightened out, nothing!” shouted Ryoko.  “Washu’s just 
cooking up some kind of story to keep Masato all to herself!”
	“What?  No!” said Tenchi, desperately trying to calm them all 
down.  “There really is a problem!”
	“Yeah, and that problem is Washu!” yelled Kiyone.  “I bet he’s in 
her lab right now.”
	“That’s it, I’m going in there to get him out,” said Ryoko as she 
advanced to the laboratory entrance.
	“Hold it right there!” called Kiyone after her.  “No one’s going to 
get him but me!”
	“That’s not fair!” said Mihoshi.  “He promised me a vacation.”
	“He probably said that because he took pity on you, you pathetic 
little flake,” said Ryoko icily.
	“I am not a flake!” screeched Mihoshi.
	“Are you kidding?” asked Kiyone.  “All the croissants in France 
aren’t as flaky as you!”
	“Stop it, stop it!” shouted Mihoshi.
	“All of you, knock it off right now!” shouted Tenchi, in an effort to 
save the remainder of the furniture.  “There’s no reason why you should be 
fighting.  We’re all friends here.”
	“All’s fair in love and war, Tenchi,” snapped Ryoko.
	“Yeah, but right now, I’m not sure which is which,” said Tenchi.  
“You should all be ashamed of yourselves.  You’re all supposed to be 
friends, and here you are quibbling like a bunch of children.  It’s absurd!  
Now, let’s all just calm down and try to work this out like responsible 
adults.”
	Kiyone hung her head.  “You’re right, Tenchi.  There’s no reason 
why we can’t compromise,” she said.
	“I guess it could work,” agreed Ryoko.
	“Yeah,” said Mihoshi, “we could all have Masato!”
	“All we’d have to do is work out some kind of schedule,” said 
Kiyone.
	“What?  No, that’s not what I meant!” said Tenchi desperately.
	“Tenchi, you’d better leave us alone,” said Ryoko.  “We’ve got 
some serious thinking to do.”
	Tenchi sighed and made his way back into Washu’s lab.  At least 
they weren’t fighting anymore.

Chapter 5:  Solutions All Around

	When Tenchi entered the lab Washu was busy analyzing some 
data.  “Find anything out?” asked Tenchi.
	“His blood samples are definitely irregular,” she said.  “But I 
haven’t isolated the source of the anomaly just yet.”
	“Well, you’d better hurry up,” said Tenchi.  “If not, then those 
three might decide to cut Masato into three pieces.
	“That might be a better option than my current situation,” said 
Masato, who lay nearby on a metal table.
	“I’ll say,” said Tenchi.  “Things were getting pretty violent out 
there.  Luckily I was able to stop them before they destroyed any more 
furniture.”
	“Well, that’s good,” said Masato.  “Maybe they’re all under control 
now.”
	“I don’t think so,” said Tenchi.  “When I left them they were 
talking about some kind of schedule for you.”
	Masato’s face became worried.  “That does not sound good,” was 
all he could say.
	Suddenly, Washu shouted, “I’ve got it!”
	“You figured out what’s wrong?” asked Masato anxiously.
	“Yep!” Washu responded.  “Masato, a pheromone has been 
introduced into your blood stream.”
	“A pheromone?” puzzled Tenchi.
	“Pheromones are chemicals in the body that control certain 
biological responses,” explained Washu.  “In this case, attraction.”
	“Well, that explains a lot,” said Masato.  “But how did it get into 
my blood stream in the first place?”
	“I’m not sure,” said Washu.  “I’m trying to think of what you might 
have come into contact with when you were in here.”
	“Well, I didn’t touch anything today,” said Masato as he thought, 
“except for that hologram I fought this morning.  Wait, and those 
electrodes you put on me.”
	“I think I still have those,” said Washu as she opened a drawer.  
“Yep, here they are.”
	“Where is all this going?” asked Tenchi, thoroughly lost.
	“Wait a minute,” Washu said, “I think I used these electrodes when 
I was testing the effects of synthetic pheromones on animals.  When I put 
them on you, I guess some of the pheromone must have seeped into your 
skin.”
	“So you’re saying that all this happened because you forgot to 
sterilize some electrodes?” asked Masato agitatedly.  “This is all your 
fault!”
	“Relax,” said Washu.  “I’ve got a serum that should neutralize the 
effects of the synthetic pheromone.”
	“Great!” said Masato, thoroughly relieved that his ordeal would 
soon be over.
	Washu approached Masato, with syringe in hand.  Suddenly an 
unnatural smile crept across her face.  “You know,” she said, “I kind of 
like the idea of you laid out on a table like that.  Maybe later we could 
perform some tests of a more... physical nature.”
	“Washu!” yelled Masato.  “The antidote!”
	Washu snapped out of her trance.  “Oh, right, the serum!  Sorry,” 
she said as she swabbed Masato’s arm to insert the needle.  “My, but that 
pheromone is strong.”

	Paused at the exit to the lab, Masato swallowed hard.  “So, the girls 
should all be back to normal?” he asked.
	“Coming into contact with you without the pheromone should be 
sufficient to reverse the effects of it,” said Washu.
	“I sure hope you’re right,” said Masato.  He took a deep breath and 
opened the door.
	Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Ryoko were seated on the couch in the living 
room.  Kiyone busily wrote something on a clipboard.
	“Okay, so then we’re in agreement,” said Kiyone.  “Mihoshi gets 
Mondays and Tuesdays, I get Wednesdays and Thursdays, and Ryoko gets 
Fridays and Saturdays.”
	“What about Sundays?” asked Mihoshi.
	“Maybe we should let him rest that day,” said Ryoko.  “Because I 
can guarantee you that, after I’m done with him, he’s going to be 
exhausted.”
	“Oh, you’re not all that!” responded Kiyone.
	“Well, I guess you’re just going to have to talk to Masato about 
that,” Ryoko responded with a grin.
	Masato cleared his throat, and the eyes of the three girls fell upon 
him.  Masato braced for the worst, covering his face with his arms.  
However, the mad rush he had expected did not come.  The girls stood 
there looking at him, an expression of uncertainty on their faces.  Masato 
brought his arms down, and stared in anticipation, clueless as to what 
would happen.  No one spoke for quite some time.
	“Well, if you want him that badly, I guess you can have him,” said 
Ryoko suddenly.
	“I wouldn’t think of depriving you of the pleasure,” said Kiyone.  
“He’s all yours.”
	“Oh, my!” said Mihoshi as she glanced at the clock, “I’m missing 
my TV show!”
	The three dispersed, leaving Masato standing in bewilderment.  
“Well, that was easy,” he said.
	“I told you it would work,” said Washu.  “After all, I am the 
greatest genius the universe has ever known!”
	“And thank goodness for that!” said Masato happily.  “I’m free!”
	“Well, that makes one of us,” said Tenchi dejectedly, knowing that 
the girls would once again focus their feminine wiles on him.
	“Hey, maybe not,” mused Masato.  “I’m sure Washu could make 
up some more of that serum for you, Tenchi.”
	“Sorry, can’t do it,” said Washu firmly.
	“Why not?” asked Masato.
	“Tenchi doesn’t have the pheromone in his blood stream,” said 
Washu.  “His appeal is all natural.  Sorry, but there’s just no cure for being 
a sweetie-pie!”
	“Oh, boy,” said Tenchi with a heavy sigh.
	“Well, once again, thanks to my unparalleled genius everything is 
back to normal,” said Washu.  “No need for applause.”
	“Oh, no!  I almost forgot!” shouted Tenchi suddenly.  “Grandpa 
still needs me to do some chores at the shrine.  I’d better go.”  Tenchi 
hurriedly made his way out the door.
	“I’ve got some experiments I need to finish running,” said Washu.  
“This little fiasco has put me behind schedule.”
	Before Washu could retreat to the lab, Masato stopped her.  
“Washu, I just wanted to say thanks,” he said.  “You really helped me out 
back there.”
	“Anytime, sport!” she said with a smile.  Then she entered the lab, 
leaving Masato alone in the living room.  He took a seat on the couch and 
leaned his head back.  It had been a bizarre and exhausting day.
	Just then the front door swung open, and Sasami and Ayeka 
entered, each carrying a bag of groceries.  Ryo-ohki hopped in behind 
them, a freshly bought carrot in her mouth.  “Boy, what a day,” said 
Ayeka, skipping formalities.  “The market was so crowded today.  And it 
seemed like each vender had a different thing on sale, so we spent the 
whole day hopping from booth to booth, running around like chickens 
with our heads cut off.  It was so hectic!  I can’t wait to just sit and relax.  
Anyway, how are you, Masato?”
	Masato did not answer.

Chapter 6:  Explanations

	That evening at dinner the girls, who were not exactly sure of how 
they had acted that afternoon, were filled in on the details by Washu, 
Masato, and Tenchi.  When told the things they had said to Masato, 
Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Ryoko sat stunned, and glanced at Masato 
uncomfortably.
	“I can’t believe that I did all that!” said Kiyone with a shocked 
expression.
	“Me neither,” said Ryoko.  “I feel so dirty.”
	“Well, you’re mouth certainly is,” returned Masato.  “I don’t think 
I can ever look at you the same way again.”
	“I just can’t believe that I could be interested in Masato,” 
continued Ryoko.  “I mean, he can’t hold a candle to my Tenchi.”  Ryoko 
leaned over and placed her head on Tenchi’s shoulder.
	Before Ayeka could break the two up, Masato, who hadn’t taken too 
kindly to Ryoko’s remark, deadpanned, “Well, you’re not much of a catch, 
either.  Your hair looks like it was styled by a food processor.”
	Ryoko’s face flushed with anger.  Ayeka tossed her head back and 
laughed.  Masato sat back in his chair and gave Ryoko a smug grin, 
showing her that his payback was complete.  Ryoko’s anger subsided.  She 
knew Masato had had a tough day, so she would let that one slide.
	“There’s one thing I still don’t understand,” said Tenchi.  “Washu, 
you touched the electrodes just like Masato did.  How come the 
pheromone didn’t affect you?”
	“The pheromone was calibrated to integrate with male biological 
systems, not female,” Washu explained.  “Thus, I was unaffected.”
	“Do you think you could make one for females?” asked Ryoko.
	“I think I know where this is going,” said Tenchi uneasily.  
“Ryoko, I’ll thank you to get your mind out of the gutter.”
	“Oh, alright,” Ryoko said.  “I guess I’ll just have to seduce you the 
old fashioned way.”
	“No one is seducing anyone!” said Ayeka firmly.  “Least of all you, 
Ryoko.  Besides, Lord Tenchi is far too civilized to fall for your wretched 
tricks.”
	“I don’t know about that, Ayeka,” began Masato with a sarcastic 
air.  “Ryoko’s beguiling charm may serve to capture the heart of even the 
most stalwart person.  Believe me, I know.  Ryoko, why don’t you tell us 
all about those ‘quiet spots’ in the woods you wanted to take me to.”
	At the mention of her previous behavior, Ryoko’s face once again 
became flushed, this time out of embarrassment.
	“Masato, I’m really sorry for the way I acted today,” said Kiyone.
	“Me, too,” said Mihoshi.
	“Don’t worry about it,” said Masato with a wave of his hand.  “It 
wasn’t your fault.”
	“I still think it’s kind of ironic that you asked me to fix 
everything,” said Washu.  “After all, you can imagine how many people 
would have killed to be in that position.  Four beautiful women lusting 
after you.  How often does that happen?”
	“Well, let’s hope it never happens again,” said Masato.  “Four 
women is way too much.  All I need is one.”
	Though Masato’s statement was not directed at her, Ayeka could 
tell that it was meant for her.  She blushed slightly.

	After Masato had helped Sasami wash the dishes, he found himself 
standing on the balcony staring into the lake.  As the water reflected the 
rapidly darkening sky, so did Masato reflect on the events of the day.  
Even though receiving attention from four sides was really nerve-
racking, in an odd way it was almost thrilling.  At the same time, he both 
envied and felt sorry for Tenchi.  Almost out of jealousy, he asked aloud, 
“I wonder what makes him so special?  Six women, all so different, and 
yet they all love him.  Very strange.”
	Upon seeing him out on the balcony, Ayeka decided to join him.  
She slid silently beside him and leaned on the railing.  “You’ve certainly 
had an interesting day, haven’t you?” she asked him.
	“To put it mildly,” responded Masato.
	“I kind of wish I had been there,” said Ayeka as she smiled.  “I’ll 
bet the look on your face was priceless!”
	Masato chuckled.  “Maybe,” he said, “but I think it’s better that 
you weren’t there.”
	“What makes you say that?” asked Ayeka.
	Masato breathed deeply.  “Ayeka, I’ve made no secret of the fact 
that I only have eyes for you,” he began.  “That was why I was able to 
avoid the others today.  If it had been you, I’m just not sure I could have 
resisted, even knowing how you feel.  And I really couldn’t have dealt 
with that.  I mean, I might have done something I really would have 
regretted.”
	Ayeka thought for a moment.  “Would you really have regretted 
it?” she asked finally.
	Masato was shocked.  “What kind of question is that?” he asked 
hotly.  “Of course I would have regretted it.  Knowing that it was because 
of some chemical, and that it wasn’t really you.  I couldn’t live with that!”
	From his tone, Ayeka could tell that he was telling the truth.  He 
really did respect her feelings.  “That’s so sweet of you to say,” she said.
	“It’s the truth,” said Masato.
	Much to Masato’s surprise, Ayeka leaned over and kissed his 
cheek.  “Don’t worry,” she said softly as she turned to reenter the house, 
“That wasn’t the pheromone.”
	Masato could only stare after her with an expression of shock, 
confusion, and amazement.  He reached up and touched where Ayeka’s 
lips had just graced his cheek.  Any jealousy he felt for Tenchi flew out the 
window at that exact moment.  Let him have as many women as he 
wanted; Masato only needed one.