Kiyo Muyo By: The Unknown DJ Conclusion to the Diary of Kiyone Makibi, (part 1): Ever have something taken from you? Ever have this thing, so special, so bright, within your grasp, when suddenly; it has been snatched from you? Then, with hope, the perp who took it might have the guts, or the heart to return to your hands, where it rightly deserves to be. Then, forgiveness can be said, the past can be forgotten, and eventually, both sides can reach a mutual agreement. Well, that's the storybook ending for all you people with a pre-school intellect and a fear of change to your perfect world. In the following story, you will see how something so dear can be stripped from me and never given back. For my enemy, was so strong and that not even a god could have destroyed it. All of this could have been avoided if I had never met Mihoshi. That woman drove me to my insanity, despite her futile attempts to help me in both my professional and social life. If could have been assigned a decent partner, I would never have been thrown to my knees in front of my enemy and forced to surrrender. But alas, my luck failed me and I was given a week before my downfall. Diary of Kiyone Makibi 23 November 1999 Thursday Today, I was horrible. When I woke I felt fresh and brand new, ready to go to work! I jump out of my bed and turned to my dresser, where my clothes awaited me. I took one step and fell forward, immediately back on the floor where I had started my descent. The culprit of my trip: That damned Mihoshi! Oh, she jerks my chain! Not only was she still dead asleep, but she had also taken no precaution to move her bed out of the way the night before, like I had asked so many times! As steamed gushed to my head and my face became scarlet with rage, I remembered how lucky I was that I hadn't gotten seriously hurt. With Mihoshi's carelessness, I had broken bones and received huge gashes, so basically, this was a small mistake, and something I should not overlook. So, once again, I got up, and this time, I managed to not trip over Mihoshi. Went to my closet, where my uniform would be, washed and ready to go. I pulled open my drawer and reached in, to find. .absolutely nothing! Where was my uniform? I ran all over the room, in hopes that I might come across it, folded up and clean. That's when I was reminded whose duty it was to wash clothes on Wednesday. I trudged slowly back to the bedroom and looked in the corner, only to see my uniform dirty and crumpled up in the hamper. It stank from the last couple day's work I had put into it, but not even that mattered. Yet again Mihoshi had forgotten her priorities and chores, thus leaving me to suffer! Damn it! Well, since she had already done enough to push me beyond my bounds of sanity for half a day, I decided to par take in the usual Mihoshi waking ceremony: I raised my leg to half its full extent and then kicked Mihoshi square in the side. I felt a small bit of sadistic pleasure brush inside me, as I prepared to scream at the top of my lungs. "GET THE HELL UP!" I bellowed. "Wha?" asked Mihoshi, still mostly asleep. In fact, the kick had barely even budged her, but my foot stinged from the force put into it. Mihoshi slowly raised her head up from her pillow and looked at me with her eyes half opened. "What time is it?" "DAMMIT, MIHOSHI! IT'S TIME FOR WORK!" "Okay. Gee Kiyone, why are you so mad?" asked Mihoshi, with childlike innocence. "You forgot to wash our uniforms!" "Oh, gee. Guess I messed up, huh?" Yeesh! The complete lack of responsibility sickened me, forcing my face to swell. How could someone be so hollow? I swear, if Mihoshi were any hollower, she'd float like a freakin balloon! I thought I'd explode! But just before I could yell at the damn brainless bimbo, I saw that the clock showed only a half an hour till work started. "Dammit! We're gonna be late again!" The rest of work was pretty uneventful at our new job at Seiko's American Burgers. Mihoshi and I got a pay deduction for being late, another deduction for having rancid uniforms on, and Mihoshi broke five plates, so the pay deductions were forgotten, and we were shown the door, our future at the Burger shop ended. But, if you count all the other times Mihoshi's inane, child-sized IQ and lazy behavior has gotten us fired, I could count this day as any other almost. When we got to our apartment, Mihoshi was balling over the loss of the job. She always tended to do this, as if it were a way of showing me just how sorry she was. As Mihoshi sobbed out apologies and regrets, I shook her off with simple responses like, "It's okay," "We can get another Job," and my favorite, "It wasn't all your fault." I know it sounds like I lost my edge, but with this happening so frequently, it has become a routine that I have found best to drown out, forget, and use as my ticket to another night of classified searching. I just didn't care anymore. "Oh, Kiyone? What are we going to do?" asked Mihoshi, now completely red-eyed from all the crying she had just finished. I turned to her and gave her a good stare in the eyes. It wasn't a pissed off look, or a sympathetic look; it was blank. Blank like my past, blank like my future and blank like my life. I couldn't recall anytime in my life that I felt more worthless. I turned to face Mihoshi, and with very little esteem for myself, I said, "Mihoshi, just please leave me alone. You've done enough to me already and I just wish for once that you could be more remorseless. Everytime you screw up, you beg me for forgiveness, I say its okay, and then we start the cycle over a couple days into the next job. So this time, don't cry. Just forget it." As I uttered these words, the girl I had once thought to be completely dense began to comprehend. Her face cleared and, now she, too, was blank. I must have shattered her world of peace and neutrality, for then she spoke with a great maturity, "Kiyone, I have failed you again." I gave her a small grave nod. Mihoshi, for the first time I had known, was neither smiling, nor crying. Her face was pale, and her eyes had become glassy. She stared into mine, and then quickly turned away. "Then, it is true. I am a failure." Opened my mouth to coax her, to make her feel better. I had been successful at calming her down every time the storms had flooded her eyes over some embarrassing or childish excitement. Now, was different. I finally said what I had been thinking from the first time that I met her. "Yes, you are a failure. I don't think you can necessarily blame yourself, but whenever you're around, you tend to cause accidents. I don't know why, but you have, "failed", to overcome them. This includes certain outbursts." I covered my mouth in surprise. Had I said what I thought I did? I look at Mihoshi's face, but it served no purpose. It had remained the same, pale and ghostlike, as if I had stopped time. Then, her face sunk and stared at the floor. "Kiyone," she said more to the floor then myself, "I am sorry." Mihoshi turned around with her face to the floor and reached out to grabbed the handle. Slowly the knob twisted and soon the door opened. "Kiyone, I must go. I wish you luck for the future." Then, she turned around and simply walked out of the door. As I saw her fade into the dark background, I was silenced in my emotions. For a long time before this, I had always figured that Mihoshi's escape from my personal life would have been more eventful. By how she had acted up to now, I had figured she would have struggled to stay with me, to finish the undeserved curse that had been bestowed upon me. But No. Mihoshi's exit was like an obituary: an unknown loss that had been great to an unknown third party. I could have sworn that I heard a shout, or a cry, after I was sure she was gone, but nothing came of it. As for me, I felt remorseless. Maybe it was Mihoshi's sudden attitude change, or it could have been how the past had turned out, but either way, I was trapped, heartless. It was as if Mihoshi had suddenly meant nothing to me. About an hour later, I felt my heart ache, as if stabbed by a rusty blade. Only now, did I realize the ill deed that I had done. My best friend had walked out on me and I had basically held the door for her. I had sat back and in laymen's terms, told her to fuck off and never come back. If had been more sympathetic, or chased after her when she had walked out of the apartment, we could have forgotten the whole thing. But was that what I wanted. Suddenly, another side to the conflict brushed my mind and cleansed it with an old burning hatred that raged on up until now. My cruel demeanor began to cover my thoughts like a sealed off manhole, trapping thoughts of possibilities that now existed. A voice slowly began to talk in my head. "Yes! The clumsy bitch is gone! Now we can live our life without that hassle!" It took a placebo effect on my mind, make me feel an unsteady, bitterness happiness that would be sure to go away soon. I moved myself onto my bed, at this point, and fell on my back, so I could gaze up at the ceiling. Was I really free? Had I finally ridded myself of a person to fragile, lazy, and nearsighted to ever be a positive person in my life? "Yes," returned the small voice, "You have! The weight of world has shifted to your hand. Now, you control it and it will be there for the taking if you don't act on your good fortune!" Then, I spoke aloud, despite being roommate and friendless. I spoke the question that would linger in my mind up through the night. "What can I grab when I am all alone?" ENDZ Theunknowndjendz@yahoo.com. Questions welcome. Enjoy the next chapter.