TENCHI MUYO! EXILE #4
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	Happy Birthday, Tenchi!

	Sasami was humming to herself, making 
breakfast, when Tenchi walked into the kitchen. 
"Good morning." He said, cheerfully when he saw her.
	"Oh! Good morning, Tenchi." She replied.
	"Mmmm. That smells delicious." Tenchi praised 
the young cook. "You sure know how to make good 
breakfasts, Sasami."
	Sasami beamed proudly.
	There was a loud explosion upstairs.
	"Ryoko!" Ayeka challenged. "How *DARE* you!  
You give me that camera! NOW!" She chased Ryoko down 
the upstairs hallway clad only in a towel, which she 
clutched around herself as she ran.
	"You've got to catch me first!" Ryoko taunted as 
she ran down the hall with Nobuyuki's video camera in 
her  hand, firing off a couple blasts at her rival.
	"Ryoko! I'm warning you." Ayeka returned, 
returning fire.
	"Tenchi's going to love this video." Ryoko 
chuckled.
	Ayeka went beet red from embarrassment. "Ryoko! 
You wouldn't!"
	"Why not?" Ryoko laughed. "Tenchi's already seen 
you naked in the bath? Remember? Besides, it would be 
a  great birthday present, don't you agree?"
	Ayeka changed from red to white. Tenchi's birthday?! 
She couldn't believe she'd never bothered to find out 
when it was!	
	"You'll have to find him another present!" She told 
Ryoko.
	"But Princess!" Ryoko taunted. "Don't you want to 
give Tenchi the gift of your beauty?"
	Ayeka blushed for a moment, then regained her senses. 
"I respect Tenchi!" She huffed at Ryoko. "I treat him 
like a person, not a piece of meat like you do!"
	"Then how come *I* remmebered his birthday and *you* 
didn't?" Ryoko challenged.
	The two ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. 
"Tenchi!" Ryoko called. "I have a very nice birthday 
present for you!"
	"NO!" Ayeka shrieked. "Ryoko *PLEASE*!?"
	As they rounded the corner, they ran straight into 
Mihoshi, who was just coming in from her bath. Her 
clotheshad fallen in the bathwater, so she was in her 
towel, since she'd left her cube on her dresser. The 
three of them collided! 
The camera got busted. Ryoko and Ayeka were both 
knocked senseless for a moment. Mihoshi's towel came 
off somehow as she was thrown into the kitchen from 
the impact of collision and collided with Tenchi. 
	Tenchi got another nosebleed and passed out.
	"Oh my!" Mihoshi said, still not realizing she was 
totally naked and leaning over Tenchi, lightly 
slapping his face.
"Tenchi?" She asked.
	Tenchi opened his eyes, saw Mihoshi naked, and 
fainted again.
	"Oh no!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "Tenchi? What's wrong?" 
Mihoshi went to grab her cube from her pocket and 
touched her own breast, entirely by chance. She felt 
her skin, looked down, and turned red with 
embarrassment. A moment later, she bolted 
from the kitchen.
	A few minutes after Mihoshi had fled from the 
kitchen, Naoki staggered in, looking exhausted. "Any 
coffee?" he asked.
	Sasami, who had anticipated his being awakened by 
Ryoko and Ayeka's fighting, already had a cup ready. 
She handed it to him.
	"Thanks." He took a sip of the coffee and leaned on 
the counter.
	Tenchi stood up and saw Naoki leaning there. "I'm 
sorry if all the noise woke you up." He apologized. "I 
take it Makiya's still sleeping?"
	Naoki nodded and took another sip of his coffee. He 
turned to Sasami. "Excellent job on the coffee."
	"Thank you." Sasami smiled. "Breakfast is almost 
ready."
	"I'd better go wake up Makiya." Naoki replied.
	Makiya walked in, fully dressed, yawning and 
stretching. She went over to Naoki and the two kissed 
each other on the lips.
	"I'm already awake." She told him. 
	Sasami brought her a cup of coffee. 
	"Thank you." She accepted it and took a sip. 
"Delicious!" she decided.	
	Yosho was sitting in the dining room when Tenchi and 
the others walked in and sat down for breakfast.
	"Isn't dad coming down?"
	"He's in the hallway."
	Tenchi looked into the hall and saw his father 
kneeling over the remains of his beloved video camera. 
He had a pretty good idea how it got broken.
	"RYOKO!" He hollered, angrily. "This was my father's
camera! You had no right to touch it! I want you out 
of this house right NOW!"
	"I didn't mean for it to get broken." Ryoko sobbed, 
her heart breaking.
	Tenchi took the tears for a sympathy ploy. Ryoko 
wasn't the most honest person he knew. "It won't work, 
Ryoko. I want you out of here right now."
	Naoki went to Ryoko's side. "You're being a little 
harsh, Tenchi." He told him. "It's just a camera."
	"My father had that camera for years." Tenchi 
explained. "He loved it."
	"I was just making a video," Ryoko sobbed. "And Ayeka 
started chasing me and then we both bumped into 
Mihoshi and I just dropped it when we fell. Honest!"	
"She's telling the truth." Naoki defended her.	
	Tenchi was still angry. The sight of his father in 
tears was more than he could take. "Why were you 
making a video anyhow?" He demanded. He was looking 
for some reason to justify his anger. Her actions, 
after all, hadn't been malicious. 	
	"I..." Ryoko sobbed. "I wanted to give it to your as 
a birthday present."
	"Oh." Tenchi's anger was replaced by an equal helping
of guilt. He looked at her and saw the tears on her 
face. "I'm  sorry." He told her, lowering his head. 
	Ryoko turned and started to walk away, slowly. There 
was no happiness in her step.
	"Where are you going?"
	"I'm going away like you asked me." Ryoko replied.
	"Ryoko, I'm sorry I said that. I don't want you to 
leave."
	"No, Tenchi." Ryoko shook her head. "It's too late. 
I'm going. I can't stay here anymore. Every day I wait 
for you to tell me you love me, and every day you 
treat my feelings like a joke. I wake up every morning 
hoping that day will be the day. And every night I go 
to bed with a broken heart."	
	"That's a laugh." Ayeka said, having recovered from 
the collision. "How can a heartless monster have a 
broken heart?"
	Tenchi turned on Ayeka. Ryoko's words made him think 
of all the things that had happened since they'd been 
with him. Each time Ryoko had become destructive, it 
had been because of Ayeka's taunting. But it had been 
Ryoko who got yelled it, while Ayeka was treated like 
an innocent victim. "This is all your fault." He told 
her.	
	"WHAT?" Ayeka yelped.	
	"It was you who was causing the problem all along." 
Tench went on, directing his words at Ayeka.
	Ayeka was aghast. "Tenchi! What are you saying."
	"Ryoko's been trying her best to make me like her and 
you've been doing everything you can to make her look 
like a monster. Ryoko, can you ever forgive me?"
	Ryoko wasn't there.
	"Good riddance to bad rubbish." Ayeka scoffed. "Come.
Let's have breakfast."
	"Eat alone." Tenchi told her. "I'm going to look for
her."
	"Tenchi, you're better off without her."
	"No," Tenchi replied. "I'm not. All my life," he 
recalled, "whenever I was sad or just needed a friend 
I would go to the cave. I always felt someone was 
watching over me there. There was a presence there..."
	"Tenchi," Ayeka began. 
	Tenchi continued "... It felt like a friend. When my
mother died, it comforted me. It was always there when 
I needed it to be."
	"I've been your friend, too." Ayeka protested.
	"No, you haven't." Naoki cut in. "All you've been 
doing is driving a wedge between Tenchi and Ryoko."
	"This is none of your business." Ayeka retorted.
	"But he's right." Tenchi told her. "You've *never*
just sat down and talked to me. You've never asked me 
what I want. How I feel. Your main goal isn't to win 
me. It's to hurt  Ryoko."
	"Tenchi..."
	"Seven hundred years ago, your brother, whom you were
supposed to marry, left you in pursuit of Ryoko. You 
lost your chance to marry the man you love because of 
that incident and now you want to make sure the same 
thing happens to her."
	Ayeka blinked. "Tenchi?"
	"I'm going to look for Ryoko." Tenchi said as he 
walked off.
	"Good morning!" A cheerful voice announced.
	Ayeka turned and saw Washu grinning madly at her.
	"Washu! What is going on? Tenchi's been acting weird
all morning." Realization struck her. "This is all 
your doing, isn't it!"	"Maybe." Washu hedged.
	"What did you do to my Tenchi?" Ayeka demanded.
	"I just gave him a birthday present." Washu 
explained.
	"What are you talking about?"
	"For the next twenty four hours," Washu explained, 
"Tenchi will see things clearly. He won't be swayed by 
the labels we bear or our reputations. Of course, 
tomorrow morning, he won't remember a thing that 
happened today."	
	"Then what good is it?" Ayeka wanted to know.	
	"I just want to see what Tenchi would do if he knew 
what was really going on." Washu explained.	
	
	Mihoshi was searching for Ryoko when she heard a 
sound behind her. Turning and drawing her weapon, she 
saw Kiyone standing there.
	"Don't shoot!" Kiyone yelped.
	Mihoshi hugged her partner instead. "Oh Kiyone! It's 
just awful! Ryoko took off and..."
	"We have to go find her." Kiyone said, as her ship, 
which was hovering silently behind her, fell apart.
	Kiyone looked at the pieces of the Yagami lying on 
the lawn, took a moment to regain her composure, and 
failed utterly.
	"WASHU!" She hollered at the top of her lungs.

	Washu grinned to herself from the confines of her 
subspace laborator. She didn't want anyone but Tenchi 
to find Ryoko. Of course having him find her too 
quickly simply wouldn't do. So she clouded his mind a 
little, making him search the same places over and 
over, unable to recall if he'd searched there.

	Makiya brought the laundry outside and began 
scrubbing it down. She hummed quietly to herself as 
she did the chore. She was a little sore from the 
previous night's activities. The lingering pain was a 
reminder of a pleasant memory, however, and Makiya
cherished it almost as much as she had cherished the 
actual experience.
	"Let me help." offered Naoki, who'd seen her with the 
laundry. Without waiting for a reply, he took up the 
task of  hanging the laundry for her.
	Makiya smiled, gratefully, at her husband. "What's 
all the ruckus about?" She asked, noticing the flurry 
of activity with the others.
	"Ryoko ran away." Naoki replied. He explained 
everything to her.
	"Naoki," She told him. "I know you mean well, but 
you've got to learn to stay out of it."
	"I didn't cause this." Naoki pointed out.
	"I know." Makiya said, gently. "You only tried to 
give some helpful advice. It seems to me like what 
Tenchi needs isn't more advice, but *less* advice."
	Naoki sighed. "You're right." He conceded, kissing 
her hair. "How'd I get such a brilliant wife?"
	"You married me." Makiya replied, smiling amusedly.
	
	At that moment, Washu and Kiyone walked by. The two 
were discussing what had happened to the Yagami.
	"Put it back together." Kiyone demanded.
	"What makes you think *I'm* the one responsible?" 
Washu asked.  "Everything the Galaxy Police makes 
falls apart."
	"HEY!" Naoki called out to them in protest.
	"Easy, dear." Makiya put a hand on his shoulder.
	Naoki continued. "I'll have you know that I was 
raised by the Galaxy Police and..."
	"Didn't you have your mind set on going after Kain 
with only a gun before we talked you out of it?" Washu 
asked matter-of-factly.
	Naoki fell silent and Washu continued on with a smirk 
of  triumph.
	"So, you were raised by space cops?" Makiya asked.
	Naoki smiled in amusement. "I don't think I've ever 
heard them referred as 'space cops' before." he 
chuckled. 'But, yes I was."
	"So, your father was a cop?"
	"My birth father wasn't." Naoki admitted. "I don't 
know what he did. I was still very young when I lost 
him and my mother."
	"What happened?" Makiya wanted to know.
	Naoki hung the last bit of laundry, then sat down 
next to his wife. "I've never told this to anyone." He 
began. "Not even my colleagues. Sarnd knew about it 
because he was there from the beginning."
	"If you'd rather not talk about it." Makiya offered.
	"No." Naoki told her. "I do want to talk about it. 
Its been gnawing at me for nearly three decades."
	"Why haven't you talked with anyone before now?" 
Makiya asked him, caringly.
	"I've never found anyone I trusted enough before 
now." He answered her.
	Makiya put her hand atop his and leaned against him. 
"Tell me all about it." She said.
	"When I was still just a small child," Naoki began as 
he felt the first drops of rain fall on his face. He 
stopped and stood up. 
	"We'd better move the laundry inside." He suggested, 
leaping to his feet and rushing to begin taking it 
down. "it's raining."
	"The laundry's already wet." Makiya smiled. "What 
harm could the rain do?"
	"It could get blown off the clothesline and into the 
mud." Naoki suggested.
	"Good point." Makiya quickly joined him.
	
	Naoki and Makiya finished bringing the laundry into 
the house. 
	"Good afternoon, Lieutenant." Kiyone called to Naoki.
	"Kiyone!" Naoki wailed. "You *know* I'm retired."
	"I know." Kiyone laughed. "I was just at the new 
headquarters. Helping the new recruits."
	"How's Sarnd doing?"
	"Sarnd?" Kiyone asked. "He's fine." But something in 
her voice suggested the old Commander was anything but 
fine.	
	"Kiyone..." 
	"He had a heart attack the day after you retired." 
Kiyone finally told him.
	"Why didn't you tell me?!" Naoki yelped. 
	"He asked me not to." Kiyone replied. "He was afraid 
you'd either feel guilty about leaving the Galaxy 
Police and think it was your fault, or you'd think he 
was trying to make you feel guilty and be angry at 
you."	
	"So, he's alive?"
	"He's fine." Kiyone replied. "The attack was fairly 
mild, The doctors have told him that he can't take the 
strain of being the Commander of the Galaxy Police."
	"So, he had to retire?"
	Kiyone nodded. "He wants to see you."
	"He told you that?" Naoki was confused. It didn't 
fit. Why would Sarnd want to see him if... "Did he 
actually tell you he wanted to see me?" He 
asked.	
	"No." Kiyone admitted. "But I could tell that 
he misses you."	
	"Maybe..." Naoki began.
	"Excuse me, Naoki?" Tenchi asked. "Have you seen 
Ryoko?"
	"Not since this morning." Naoki replied. "Maybe she's 
in the onsen?"
	"Thanks. I'll try there." Tenchi called out as he 
left for the floating onsen.

	"Tenchi," Washu told him, "wait here. The rain's too 
heavy for you to look for her."
	"She could get sick or be hurt." Tenchi protested. "I 
must find her!"
	The cloud-darkened sky outside was lit up by a bolt 
of  lightning.
	"Tenchi" Yosho told him. "Its too dangerous for you 
to search for her now. You'll have to wait for the 
storm to pass."
	Tenchi sighed. They were right. Until the storm 
passed, he simply could not search for Ryoko. He 
prayed that she was safe and  unhurt. 
	It wasn't until well past midnight when the storm 
finally subsided. By then, everyone, including Tenchi 
had gone to bed. Tenchi couldn't sleep. He was worried 
about Ryoko and Makiya and Naoki were doing a terrific 
impression of rabbits doing what rabbits do best. 
	After a while, it was clear that they'd finished 
doing what they were doing and were speaking words of 
affection to each other. Tenchi thought of all the 
times Ryoko had tried to seduce him and
he wondered, for a moment, if they would've spoken 
like Naoki and Makiya now were. As he thought about 
this, he drifted off to sleep.

	In her room, Ayeka was working herself up over the 
day's  events.
	"That monster woman ruined Tenchi's birthday." She 
told Sasami. "She ran off so we'd all pay attention to 
her instead of Tenchi." 
	"But if she wanted to ruin Tenchi's birthday, why did 
she  want to make a present for him?"
	Ayeka didn't have an answer for Sasami.
	But Tsunami did.

	"Poor Ryoko," Tenchi thought to himself. "She must be 
cold, lying out there in that cave all a... wait 
a minute!" He exclaimed to himself. "The cave! That 
had to be it!	
	Tenchi ran to Ryoko's cave as fast as he could. When 
he got there he went inside and made his way to where 
he'd first seen her so long ago. What he saw made his 
blood turn cold. Ryoko lie on the slab, reverted to 
the form of a mummy. Tenchi approached the old 
rotting corpse and took its bony hand in his own. 
"Ryoko," he said, gently. "Please forgive me. I ..." 
he swallowed, nervously, then resumed speaking. "I 
love you." He told her. Kneeling at her side he spoke 
again. "Ryoko," he asked her, "will you marry me?"
	The corpse rose, a single tear running down its 
withere dface. Its jaw fell off as it spoke. "Yes." it 
said.	
	Tenchi hesitated for just a moment, worried that 
his touc hmight cause the once beautiful woman's now 
decayed bones to crumble to dust, then leaned forward 
and kissed her broken mouth. As he had feared would 
happen, Ryoko's remains crumbled, falling to his feet 
in a pile of dust. Tenchi carefully gathered the dust 
up and placed it in an urn. He'd promised to marry 
her, and he would do just that.
	He returned to the house, being careful not to spill 
Ryoko's remains, and shook his grandfather who was 
still sound asleep.
	"I want you to marry me and Ryoko." He said, when 
Yosho had finally sat up.
	"Where is Ryoko?" Yosho asked. 
	Tenchi presented the urn. "In here." He said. He 
related the events in the cave to his grandfather. "I 
know its an odd request. But, well, I love Ryoko and 
even though she's . . . gone,  I want to marry her."
	"Tenchi," Yosho said, gently, "I'm sorry. You cannot 
marry dust."
	"I promised Ryoko I'd marry her." Tenchi explained. 
"I won't break that promise. Please, grandfather?"
	"Very well." Yosho smiled. "Take the remains to the 
shrine. I shall be there momentarily.
	"Thank you, Grandfather." Tenchi called back as he 
hurried  to the shrine with Ryoko's remains.
	
	Yosho performed his second wedding that week. This 
time, only the groom could drink the sake, but this 
did not deter him, nor Tenchi. When the time came for 
Ryoko to be kissed, Tenchi poured a little of her 
remains into his hand and lightly touched them with 
his lips. As he did, he felt a sudden jolt of 
something not unlike electricity which made him jump 
back and scatter the dust that had been 
Ryoko.	
	"Ryoko!" Tenchi cried out in alarm. He bowed 
his head and began to weep.	
	"Tenchi..." Ryoko's voice replied. 	
Tenchi looked up in surprise.
	There stood Ryoko, once again a young beautiful 
woman. She was clad in a white uchikake, a white 
headdress set upon  her head.
	Tenchi stepped up to his bride and gave her a proper 
kiss.
	

	

	

Lt. Trakal
Operative of the Galaxy Police SIU