By trakal@map.com Disclaimer: K. Masaki and Pioneer-AIC Created the Tenchi Muyo! phenomenon. Don't sue me! Kain ate my wallet! Note: Tenchi Muyo!: Exile is an OAV-style series which combines aspects of the TV series which aspects of the OAV series. In order to make sense of it, the reader would do to read "Onmitsu No Ai", which the series is a spin-off from. TENCHI MUYO: EXILE ------------------ EPISODE #1: Day of Reckoning... Yukinojo double checked the signal, to make certain it wasn't a residual signal from an old distress beacon or television channel broadcast. Once both of these possibilities were dismissed, the AI set about the twin tasks of pinpointing the location where the signal was emanating from; and determining the identity of the transmitter. The first task was fairly simple. With most of the Galaxy Police gone, there weren't quite so many signals to sift through, so the AI quickly tracked the signal to earth. "Mihoshi." He sighed, somewhat relieved. Mihoshi moaned in her sleep and rolled over, murmuring something about Kiyone being the best. Kiyone flushed a bit when she heard how Mihoshi was moaning and her own name mentioned. Could Mihoshi be in love with her? They had had a lot of adventures together, and come to think of it, wasn't Mihoshi always getting really upset when they were separated or when she tried to leave without her? "Mmmmmmmmm...." Mihoshi moaned, passionately. "Kiyone....." Kiyone's face went beet red. "mmmmmm.... so goooooood..." Kiyone was extremely glad they lived alone. Galaxy Police Detective First Class Mihoshi sat in a comfortable lounge chair and slowly savored the most delicious chocolate cake she had ever eaten. Above her, a sign reading "Happy Birthday, Mihoshi." was suspeneded by Azaka and Kamidake. Two humanoid cabbits, Ryo-ohki and Kenoki, who had also been Mass-Enhanced at some point, were cheerfully Miya-singing "Happy birthday to you." to her and in the corner, Ryoko looked a little too happy. But when Mihoshi saw Trakal tied up with the bows from a few of the presents she'd unwrapped and with one of the party hats stuck on his muzzle like a doctor's mask, she understood and laughed amusedly. "This is such a good cake." she told her partner. "Kiyone, you're the best cook in the whole galaxy..." *** Sasami turned the gyoza over in the frying pan while Tanaka stir-fried a mixture of fresh vegetables in the wok. "Thanks for helping me out, Tanaka." She said. "It's the least I can do." Tanaka smiled. "And I need the practice. Especially if I'm going to be a wife soon." "Wow!" Sasami grinned. "Are you gonna marry Tenchi?" Tanaka she her head. "I'm going to marry Trakal." she replied. "Oh." Sasami sounded disappointed. "You don't think I should marry Trakal?" Tanaka figured the little girl was just worried about him not being human. "I think you should." Sasami giggled. "But my sister and Ryoko are always fighting over Tenchi and well..." "And you thought it would be funny if someone else came along and swiped him out from under them while they weren't looking?" Sasami nodded. Tanaka grinned. "Maybe someone will." She shrugged, adding a dash of mirin and continuing to stir the veggies. "It'd be really funny if it was Mihoshi, don't you think?" Sasami considered this for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so." She replied. Realization dawned on Tanaka's face. "You're in love with Tenchi, aren't you?" Sasami nodded. "I wish I was old enough to marry Tenchi." She sighed. "Well, who knows, by the time Tenchi gets it together maybe you will be old enough." Sasami smiled. The front door slid open and then shut again. "Sasami," Tenchi called to her, "I'm home." For a moment, Sasami imagined herself as Tenchi's wife, fixing a hot meal for her husband, who'd just returned from a hard day at work. At times like this, it took a bit of effort on her part not to walk into the hall and offer her cheek for him to kiss, like she saw housewives do on some of the American TV shows the set picked up thanks to Washu's satellite dish. "Oh, hello Tenchi." Sasami looked around, but saw no sign of her favorite cabbit. "Where's Ryo-ohki?" "I'm afraid there was a small problem." Tenchi sighed. A moment later, Trakal walked in carrying Ryo-Ohki. The cabbit was unharmed, but looked unhappy. That was quite understandable given the little handcuffs around its forepaws. Trakal was reading a list of charges to the kawaii cabbit. "Thirty four counts of carrot theft... tampering with a police investigation by eating said carrots... conspiracy to steal said carrots..." "Trakal!" Tanaka laughed. "Oh come on, dear? Please? For me?" Trakal smiled. "...However.. since my fiancee likes you, I'm dropping all charges." Ryo-Ohki miya'ed happily as Trakal released her from the handcuffs. She hopped into the bushel Trakal had been carrying and quickly devoured three carrots, before Trakal pulled her back out. "And just what, may I ask, do you think you're doing?" He asked her in a stern but calm voice. Ryo-Ohki wriggled out of his grip and hopped away, grabbing a carrot as she went. "Hey! Come back here!" Trakal shouted as he gave chase. Truth was he could've caught her quickly, but he loved the chase, the adrenaline, the exhiliration... Ryo-Ohki darted under Washu's floating onsen, the tiny jewel on her forehead glowing, sending a signal to the irrational bath. As Trakal ran under the drainage spout, the contents of the entire onsen came pouring out on him. Tenchi gulped. Trakal was still fairly new and no one had really gotten used to him. Especially not Tenchi. The girls were easy to adjust to. They had their quirks, but all of them at least looked human... well except Ryo-Ohki, so in their case it was like "oh, you're from another planet? How nice. I'm glad to meet you." But Trakal not only wasn't human, he didn't *look* human. He had an appearance that said "Yeah... I'm an alien. You wanna make something of it?". He'd worn a mask in 1970, but only because he didn't want to mess up the timeline, and because his work as an operative required him to do so. But now, amongst people he knew and trusted, particularly Tanaka, a girl from 1970 who'd fallen in love with him, Trakal rarely wore the mask, reserving it for 'special' occasions. Trakal shook most of the water from his fur, then strolled into the house and into the upstairs bathroom where Ayeka was blowdrying her hair. "I'm commandeering this for official police business." He informed her, firmly, as he unplugged the blowdrier, pried it from her hand, and took it into his room. Ayeka gave a little growl. "Azaka! Kamidake!" The two logs appeared. "Get my dryer back! Now!" Ayeka ordered. They started to leave. "Wait." Ayeka grinned evilly. "I want you to teach that monster a lesson." She told them. *** "Thank you for coming," Mihoshi smiled. "May I take your order?" "I'll have a large everything." A familiar voice replied. "For here." Mihoshi blinked and stared at the man for a long moment, then a look of realization hit her. "Wow! You must really love our food!" "No," the man replied. "I just know how long your reports take." "Reports?" Mihoshi seemed upset. "Oh my! I didn't know we were supposed to fill out reports here! I never filled one out! Oh, please don't fire me sir! I'll get to work on them right away...." "I meant your Galaxy Police reports." the customer replied. Mihoshi laughed. "Oh, Trakal!" She exclaimed, merrily. "I didn't recognize you!" "Trakal's alive?" "Yes." Mihoshi replied. "He's staying with Tenchi. Who...? But the figure had left before Mihoshi could ask who he was. Mihoshi blinked and took the next customer's order. *** The middle aged man spent all night trying to find this Tenchi, but no one in the city seemed to know who he was. He went back to where Mihoshi worked but she'd already gone home and he had no idea where she lived. He stopped in at a cafe and saw a woman slumped over the bar, talking in slurred tones. "I could've been in the SIU." She said, letting everyone hear her. "But my (hic) partner just *had* to come (burp) excuse me... along and screw things up!" She fell over and burped again. The man stepped forward and picked her up. "Come on, Detective." he told her. "Let's get you home." *** Mihoshi went into the kitchen the next morning and found Commander Sarnd sitting at her table, drinking coffee. "Sir!" She saluted. "Detective First Class Mihoshi is ready to serve." "Where's Trakal?" "He's living with Tenchi." "I asked all over town." Sarnd took a sip of his coffee. "Tenchi doesn't live in town." Mihoshi laughed at him. "Oh." Sarnd nodded. "So, where does he live?" Mihoshi told Sarnd where Tenchi's house was. "Thank you, detective." Sarnd replied. *** Yosho noticed the smoke coming from the mountain cabin as he made his way to the Shrine office. He strolled quietly to the cabin and knocked on the door. There was no response so he knocked again. After the third try, he opened the door carefully and peeked in. Trakal was lying on the floor near the bench. His uniform was laid out on the drying rack and his hair was dirty and tangled. Yosho shook Trakal, to wake him. "Hmmmm..." Yosho mused, quietly. "We'd better get you home." He piled Trakal's clothes on top of him, feeling that putting them on him would only add to the heatsickness he was apparently suffering, and then lifted the ailing ex-cop and carried him back to the house. "I found him in the cabin." he told Tanaka as he placed Trakal on the bed. "He's awfully warm." Tanaka replied. She ran to the bathroom and came back with a basin of cold water and a few facecloths. "Do you have any fever medicine?" She asked Yosho. "Just in case?" Yosho shook his head. "I wouldn't." He told her. "We don't know how his species might react. It could kill him." "You're right." Tanaka replied. Sasami walked into Trakal's room and saw Tanaka kneeling by Trakal's futon. Tanaka was stoking Trakal's fur and dabbing his forehead with a cold wet cloth. "Tanaka, it's breakfast time." "I can't come." Tanaka replied. "Trakal's very sick, Sasami." "Oh." Sasami said quietly. Trakal tried to speak, but weak as he was, it just came out as a moan. "Now now, "Tanaka admonished him, "you rest. Don't try to talk." "What's the matter with him?" Sasami asked. "I don't know." Tanaka wept softly. "But I think he's dying." Trakal moaned a sickly little disclaimer which didn't sound particularly convincing. Tanaka stroked his muzzle, gently. "Poor thing Yosho walked in and knelt beside the bed with a towel and some bowls of ice-water. He started to dab some medicine on Trakal's forehead, but Tanaka stopped him. "Please," she told him, "let me. He is my fiance after all." Yosho nodded and handed her the bowls and the towel. Tanaka took them and began to gently apply the medicine. "Come on, honey." she whispered, "please be all right. I don't want you to die. I love you." She bent down and kissed his forehead. "Yosho, his fever's not coming down." "He needs to soak in an icebath for a little while." Washu told them as she walked in. "He's got a bad case of heat sickness. He should've been more careful about remaining near a hot fire for so long." "What do you mean?" Tanaka asked. "He must've fallen asleep in the mountain cabin while trying to get dry." "But how'd he get wet in the first place?" "Oh, that's easy." Sasami told them. "My sister dunked him in the pond for swiping her blowdryer." Tanaka was furious. "I will never forgive her if Trakal dies." "He's not going to die." Washu assured her. "Just get him into the icebath for a while and that should take care of him." "And how do we dry him off?" Tanaka asked. "We could stick him in the microwave." Ryoko suggested as she strolled past the room. "Not funny, Ryoko!" Tanaka called out to her. Sarnd rented a car from a local dealer and headed toward the Masaki Shrine. On the way he thought of what he'd learned from Kiyone and Mihoshi. Trakal was in love. Sarnd frowned. The idea of Trakal being in love was astonishing. The Draalthi had always been emotionally cold, focusing only on his job and scoffing at the idea of any relationships. Now he was in love in spite of these claims. Sarnd was in a bind. If he scolded Trakal for falling in love, he would discourage him from any further relationships, which he definitely did not want to do. On the other hand, Trakal's relationship with the Earth woman did violate the Galaxy Police laws against interfering with Earth's timeline. A Draalthi on Earth could damage the train of future history. He drove on, trying to figure out what to do. He could pretend to get lost. Then he wouldn't have to confront Trakal. But he wanted to see the young Draalthi. To confirm that Mihoshi was, for once, right. That Trakal was in fact alive. Sarnd drove on, trying to formulate a plan of action. He knew that it was the law that Trakal would have to leave Earth. But he didn't want to destroy the Draalthi's newly found happiness. It seemed unfair to him, but there was nothing he could do, short of breaking the law. "It's not fair." He told himself. *** Trakal said exactly the same thing when he woke up in the ice bath. He was freezing, naked and drenched. Washu dumped another bucket of icewater on his head. He winced as the ice cubes hit his muzzle, and growled in displeasure. Washu picked up another bucket of ice and dumped it on him. "CUT THAT OUT!" Trakal shouted angrily at her. Trakal got out of the bath and grabbed a towel which he quickly wrapped around himself. "If that's how you look after being in an ice bath for half an hour, Tanaka's going to be in trouble on your wedding night." Washu told him, sounding rather impressed. "Don't be cute." Trakal retorted, sounding angry to hide his embarrassment. "You know full well that cold temperatures don't affect Draalthi anatomy the same way they affect humans. We retain body heat far longer than humans do." "So that's why you came down with heat sickness." Washu mused. Trakal nodded. Mihoshi ran in. "Trakal! You have a visitor!" "Detective! Do you mind?!" Mihoshi blushed. "Oops. Sorry." "*I* mind." Sarnd growled. "Trakal, what do you think you're doing taking up with this human?" "I'm not a human!" Washu screamed at him. "I am Washu! I'm the greatest genius scientist in all the Universe." "Mihoshi said you were human." "What?" Washu asked. "Excuse me, sir," Trakal told Sarnd. "I'm not marrying her. She was merely taking care of me." "Oh." Sarnd nodded. "Well anyhow, get your uniform on. You're coming home with me." Trakal blinked. "With all respect, sir, I have a life here now. Tanaka and I are going to be married soon." "No." "'No'? What do you mean 'No'?" "I mean you're not going to stay here and you are not going to marry a human. Do you understand?" "No, I don't understand. What I understand is that I love Tanaka and she loves me." "Trakal," Sarnd told him. "A Draalthi on Earth would be damaging to the course of future history." "You don't know that." Trakal replied. "Well, I don't want to take chances." Sarnd replied. "What if he was human?" Washu offered. Sarnd and Trakal both turned. "Human?" Sarnd asked. Washu nodded. "I took a DNA sample when you were out." She told Trakal. "You what?!" Trakal demanded. "Well, naturally being the greatest genius in the universe, I anticipated this, and I know you're afraid of hospitals." "I am not!" Sarnd raised an eyebrow. "So, that's why you never made it to your annual physical." "I was on assignment!" Trakal wailed. "Mmm hmm." Sarnd nodded. "Ahem!" Washu cleared her throat. "Now, as I was saying, I can use your Juraian DNA as a database for your human alter-ego." "Juraian DNA?" Sarnd asked, eyeing Trakal. "Right." Washu didn't explain. "I can take that, and I can increase it gradually from five percent to one hundred percent over a period of five hours. If all goes well, he will appear as a male Juraian, and he will look perfectly human as long as he doesn't get upset." "Well, I think you should tell Tanaka first." Trakal told Washu. "Whatever you say." Washu nodded and Tanaka tumbled out of a subspace fold, landing near the towel-clad Draalthi. Trakal blushed furiously. Tanaka also blushed. "Trakal, what's going on?" Trakal pointed at Washu "Tanaka," Washu explained, "if Trakal remains a Draalthi he will have to return to the Galaxy Police. He'll probably have to stand trial for contaminating the time-line. He could be sentenced to life-imprisonment." "So, what can we do." "Well, Trakal's half-Juraian." Washu explained. "I'm going to raise his Juraian DNA level and lower his Draalthi DNA level until he becomes human. Or at least Juraian. I'll also alter his memory." Washu saw the panic in Tanaka's eyes. "He will remember you." She reassured the girl. "He'll just forget he was a Draalthi and that he worked for the Galaxy Police." "Trakal," Sarnd asked, "you'll be giving up everything. Are you sure that's what you want?" Without a word, Trakal took Sarnd's laser from its holster. Trakal moved the gun behind his head and discharged it before anyone could stop him. "Trakal?!" Sarnd cried out, believing that Trakal had just shot himself. But his panic was unfounded. Trakal remained standing, his head hadn't been splattered all over. Sarnd blinked in confusion, then looked down. The majority of Trakal's ponytail lie there, a scattered mass of hair. "Pretty sure." Trakal replied, removing the hairband from the remnants of his ponytail and handing it to Sarnd. "Trakal...?" Sarnd asked. "You'll need proof." Trakal smiled. "No one is *ever* going to believe this." Sarnd smiled back. He gave Trakal a quick fatherly hug, having been the Draalthi's mentor since his arrival at the Galaxy Police, and having been more like a father to Trakal than anyone. "I'll need more proof than that." He said. He picked up the remains of the ponytail and using the band to tie them together. Then he went outside, got in his car, and drove off.