Tenchi Muyo!: Enemy Unknown: Ch. 2- No Need For A Title

-- An Arashi Tokay production.

--- Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tenchi Muyo!, AIC and
Pioneer does. X-Com is the property of Microprose. The characters
Arashi, Shikaeru, Razz are "mine", however, and may not be used
without my permission beforehand... Seion's characters, (If you don't
know who they are, read one of his fics.) are the property of... Seion!

--------------------------

<Opening Theme: "Children">

Senseless speech- Heroes
--------

        Heroes... What do you think of, when you think of heroes? Most think
of a woman or man laced with every implement of death and destruction
imaginable, walking right into the line of fire without being hit. Or
someone in shining metal armor... Charging into a huge group of
enemies, and cutting them to ribbons... Emerging themselves, totally
unscathed. The true heroes, are the ones we never appreciate until
they are dead, or it is too late. It's something to ponder... X-Com
easily makes many heroes everyday. But the aliens break them just as
easy. Everyday, two agents die simply to save one that they care
about. In the never ending struggle, heroes are the ones who pay the
ultimate price for others...

----------------------------------------

(SCENE: The camera is facing a beautiful nebula, which is surrounded
by the starry void that we call space...)

[UNKNOWN]: Spy Glass Spy Glass this is Red leader Alpha 417...
[UNKNOWN 2]: Target's on the scope Red leader. See that big bad ball
up ahead?
[UNKNOWN]: Roger. Target acquired. Proceed to nav point Lima 7.

(SCENE: 9 sleek, dark, and heavily armed battleships cross the nebula,
heading towards a huge starship of unknown Origin, which is about 4
times larger than all the other ships put together.)

[TSS "YUUKAN NA" PILOT]: 400 units and closing... Is the stealth field
still active?
[TSS "YUUKI"]: Yeah... We've got a stable wide-jam going... They ought
to notice it in about, 30 seconds though...
[TSS "YUUKAN NA"]: Copy that... All craft, accelerate to sub-light
3.4, we need to close into delivery range within 20 seconds... Target
your assigned vital points, over.
[TSS "FEARLESS"]: This is Fearless reporting. In delivery range and
beginning our run now. <The small and agile starship sweeps low and
close to the hull of the considerably larger ship, causing turrets to
turn upward and target it in alarm>
[TSS "YUUKI"]: We've got a break in the jam!!!! Attempting to
counter!! It's not going well though!!!
[TSS "YUUKAN NA"]: ALL SHIPS!!!! OPEN FIRE!!!!!!
[TORPEDO SHIP NOMITICLOS]: Engaging!!
[TORP. SHIP SULLUST]: Fuel pipes targeted and locked!!

(Beams of various colors and intensity streak acrossed the blackness
of space, causing explosions and shrapnel to appear everywhere)
(The once sleek, and grey-black starships soon are no longer sleek,
with their hulls scorched and various pipings and ruptures in their
hulls jutting into the void)
(The TSS Fearless continues it's speedy attack, beams singing it's
rear engines, blasting the empty space it once occupied)

[TSS "YUUKAN NA"]: Heavy casualties... We've lost TSS Nomiticlos and
Sullust! All craft!! Pull back to Starbase Cassanova for refit and
quick repairs!!

(SCENE: On board the Yuukan Na's bridge, crew members rush about,
shouting commands and carrying out orders... Wires and bulkheads are
strew everywhere, as panic and choas ensues)

[SENSOR OFFICER]: Sir, detecting a strange energy signature emitting
from their starboard weapon battery!!!
[CAPTAIN]: Divert all power to shields!!
[SENSOR OFFICER]: Computer registers the energies as accelerated
protons, mixed with energies the equivalent of our solar system's
star!!!
[COMPUTER]: <Deep voice> RED ALERT. CLEAR WEAPON INTERLOCKS..... ALERT
ZULU COMMAND OF OUR SITUATION.
[CAPTAIN]: <Leaps out of his chair as a bright yellow light gathers on
the other starship> My -GOD-

(SCENE: Outer view of the Yuukan Na: The ship is enveloped in a
extremely large yellow beam, and it's hull begins to glow like a piece
of steel being melted down...)

[SENSOR OFF.]: Shields at 70% sir!!
[CAPTAIN]: LAUNCH EMERGENCY DISTRESS BEACON!!!!! ALL HANDS, ABANDON
SHIP!!!
[SENSOR OFF.]: 60% and dropping... All escape pods have been
incinerated Captain... I suggest you make your peace.....
[CAPTAIN]: .... It all comes down to this, huh... <sigh> Well.....
SHIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(SCENE: Outer view of the Yuukan Na: After a brief moment, the
starship's hull begins to look warped and out of place, then finally,
it disappears in a bright flash, and the beam ceases)

[TSS "YUUKI"]: Did all of you see that??? I dunno about the rest of
you, but I'm taking my crew, and I'm hauling ass!!
[TSS "FEARLESS"]: I don't want any of what the Yuukan Na got... We're
leaving too...
[TSS "YUUKI"]: It's charging again... ALL STARSHIPS, ENGAGE SUBSPACE
NODES NOW!!!!!

(SCENE: The small fleet begins to enter subspace, small portals
opening up in front of them, allowing two to enter... However, the
rest are vaporized before they can escape...........)

-----------------

<Theme: Kung-Fu Fighting (Remix By Bus Stop, Carl Douglas)>

Perimeter Patrol
Friday, 6:22 PM

(SCENE: A large dark hill can be seen, a great sunset behind it. A low
rumbling can be heard, and soon a high-tech tank-like vehicle vaults
over the hill dramatically. Razz has manned the turret for a change,
Shik is hanging out the side of the tank gripping a laser rifle, and
Arashi is driving the tank at top speed.)

[SHIKAERU]: Ever-uh-body was KUNG-FU FIGH-TING!!!! HUH!!!... Those
cats were-fast-as-light-ning!!! HAH!!!
[RAZZIER]: Shik shut up or you're gonna scare all those Sectoids
away!!!!
[SHIKAERU]: In fact it was a little bit frighte-ning!!! HUH!!! But
they fought with expert tim-ing!!! HAH!!!
[RAZZIER]: <Sighs irritatedly>

<The tank bounces over another hill and a irregularly small Sectoid
can be seen just barely opening it's mouth to scream before it becomes
part of the Tank's forward armor plating>

[ARASHI]: <Mutters> Damn insects... Goddamn roaches.....
[SHIKAERU]: One, two, do the Kung Fu!!!
[ARASHI]: Goddamn Shikaeru...
[TENCHI]: <Over the comm unit> For experts, you guys sure are loud. I
can hear you down here at the house!!! Get a new muffler or something!!
[SHIKAERU]: Everybody-was-KUNG-FU-FIGH-TING!!!!
[TENCHI]: Huh?
[SHIKAERU]: That's it Tenchi!!! Get in the groove man!!! Those cats
were fast-as-light-ning!!!
[TENCHI]: Hah! You're drunk aren't you?
[SHIKAERU]: YEAH!!!! I mean, uh, no... <stows the stolen bottle of
Sake in his uniform>
[RAZZIER]: You'll hafta pardon Shik... He's got so many bottles of
sake stuck through his ears that he probably couldn't tell you what
color Sasami's eyes are.
[SHIKAERU]: Yes I can! They're green!! They're green!!... Right?
[RAZZIER]: <Sigh>
[ARASHI]: Well, we've done what we can for today... How many did we bag?
[RAZZIER]: Hm, lessee... We got 5 Sectoids, 6 Snakemen, 2 Overlords, 8
chipmunks, and 3 more various pets.
[ARASHI]: You're driving next time.
[RAZZIER]: Yes.
[ARASHI]: In the mean time, let's go check out what we have in the
ration's locker, eh?

<The tank bounds back towards the Masaki household, where it's "home"
rests outside>

----------------

The Masaki Household
6:27 PM

(SCENE: The family is gathered in the living room, discussing the
"visitors", including the aliens which have already made themselves at
home in the forest...)

[TENCHI]: Ok, now obviously these guys are -not- from around here...
[SEION]: <Pops his head into the room for a second, from the kitchen>
Hey!!! Where's my sake?!
[TENCHI]: I think I might know...
[WASHU]: They're all a bit quirky in some way, shape, or form... But
the scans are saying that they're all pretty smart... That's the
aliens, now.
[TENCHI]: Well, then what about those 3 operative guys?
[WASHU]: Here's the strange part... I couldn't scan them! It's as if
someone pulled a big sheet of irridium in between us.
[TENCHI]: Hmm..........
[SASAMI]: They seem innocent enough I think-
[SEION]: Hey!! What about my sake?!!
[TENCHI]: Umm... I'll explain in a second... Seion, what do you think
about those guys?
[SEION]: Well, they seem friendly enough, too. But they seem a little
secretive if you ask me... Like they're hiding something.
[TENCHI]: I never thought about that... But yeah, now that I look at
it... That Razzier guy gave us answers to just about anything we
asked...
[SEION]: Sounds like a smoke screen.

<The sound of treads screeching to a halt can be heard outside, and
the trio's chatter can be heard>

[RYOKO]: Speak of the devils...
[SEION]: The devils are gonna get it if they stole my sake!!! Mihoshi
and I had special plans for those tonight!!

<All sweatdrop>

------------------

Outside
6:43 PM

(SCENE: The camera advances on the starship slowly, phasing through
the wall.)

[ARASHI]: <Head buried in a locker> Damn!! We've got some good meats,
but how're we gonna cook'em?! I ain't gonna eat mine raw! Who knows
how long these've been in here...
[SHIKAERU]: Arashi, we've got enough weapons to start a small -WAR-.
What do you mean how're we gonna cook'em?!!
[ARASHI]: Not a bad idea at all.

-- 10 minutes later.

(SCENE: Arashi sits on the rear of the ship holding a stun rod with a
steak stuck to the end of it. Shik is holding a flamethrower and is
torching a piece of meat on a rock, and Razz is lobbing up strips of
steak with an energy sword before tossing them up to Arashi.)

[ARASHI]: <Singing> Move on back! <The thrusters flame up, cooking the
steaks> Tears from a river! Push on a shove, it don't mean much!
[RAZZIER]: <Singing> Joker on Jack! Bash on a fire! <SWICK!!!!>
<Tosses a piece of steak up to Arashi> Cold on ice, a dead man's touch!
[SHIKAERU]: FIRE FIRE!!!!! BUUUUURN!!!!!!!!! <Shik continues to fry
his steak beyond it's formerly edible state>
[ARASHI]: <Singing> Whisper on a screaaam! Doesn't change a thing!
Doesn't bring you baaack..... Move on back!!! <FWOOSH>

[TENCHI]: <Looking out the window> Uhhh... Resourceful I guess
[SEION]: Let's see if that psycho one burns that Razz-guy!
[MIHOSHI]: Maybe we should just invite them in, instead? They're going
to burn something down sooner or later...

[SHIKAERU]: FIRE FIRE!!!!!!!!!

[TENCHI]: Fine.. Just to be safe.

------------

<Meanwhile, light years away... Two sinister leaders meet aboard the
hulking starship which destroyed the Yuukan Na and the majority of the
5th Terran Battlefleet>

(SCENE: Aboard the behemoth starship: One being shrouded in dark grey
stands, his blood red eyes glowing in the darkness where a face or
head usually occupies... The other, a simple swirling mass of
unbelievable energy, colored in a darkness which is as dark as space
itself...)

[ROBED FIGURE]: <Raspy, low, but deep voice> I see you were able to
make the meeting... How fortunate... Tell me your name, dark one...
[ENERGY MASS]: My name is not important.
[ROBED FIGURE]: Then neither are you...
[ENERGY MASS]: You underestimate me, wanderer!!
[ROBED FIGURE]: As you do me, entity...
[ENERGY MASS]: <The figure's aura throbs and expands uncomfortably for
a moment> ... Very well... My name is Ghal... Brother of the deceased
Kain...
[NA'TIROSS]: ... I am Na'tiross....... The pleasantries are now
concluded... Now, to business..... I see energy...... Powerful
energy... Matching your own frequency, my friend... I sense you want
the source of this energy destroyed.....
[GHAL]: Yesss!!
[NA'TIROSS]: Ohhh, how intriguing..... The energy comes from a
boy....... Yeees, I see now... I have heard of this boy... Tenchi
Masaki, isn't it...?
[GHAL]: Yes! Yes it is...
[NA'TIROSS]: You want this boy dead...
[GHAL]: I want him tortured slowly and painfully for all eternity is
what I want!!!!!
[NA'TIROSS]: No need to lose your temper -here-, my enigmatic
friend... It shall only cause your demise... Come, we shall talk...

<The two beings slowly move into a room, and the camera zooms outward,
back into the cold heartless void that is space...>

------------

-- Senseless Joke Break

(SCENE: 4 Martians stand on the edge of a two lane road out in Illinois)

[CAPTAIN BIPTO]: Dr. Ziplock, what do you make of this here?
[DR. ZIPLOCK]: <German Accent> Well, it's long, flat, and has yellow
lines going acrossed it... So that can only mean one thing!
[LEIUTENANT GIGGYWIG]: Minefield!!!
[DR. ZIPLOCK]: I was going to say a country road...
[LEIUITENANT GIGGYWIG]: That's what they want us to think!! Let me
tell you something, one false move and KABOOM!! You'll be going home
in several more pieces than you arrived!!... Corporal Pez!
[CORPORAL PEZ]: What?!
[LEIUTENANT GIGGYWIG]: See if we can go acrossed!!
[CORPORAL PEZ]: ... Why don't we go around?!
[LEIUTENANT GIGGYWIG]: MOVE!!!
[CORPORAL PEZ]: I knew it!! I'm going home in a bag!!! It's always the
Corporal who gets blown up first!!!

-- Two Minutes Later

[CAPTAIN BIPTO]: <Walking onto the road> Minefield in-deed!! What a
bunch of twinkie stuffing! Leiutenant Giggywig, you give these simple
earthlings faaar too much credit!!!!! <A 4x4 truck hits Captain Bipto
at 70 miles per hour, making him one with the grill>
[LEIUTENANT GIGGYWIG]: What happened?!!!!!
[CORPORAL PEZ]:
SOMEKINDOFSECRETWEAPONCAMEOUTOFNOWHEREANDTOOKCAPTAINBIPTOTOHISDOOOOOOM!!!!
<Faints from lack of oxygen>

--

(SCENE: Halloween: A obtuse red haired lady sits behind the drivers
wheel, 3 children behind her, 3 martians behind them.)

[FAT DRIVER LADY]: Do I know you boys???
[CORPORAL PEZ (MARTIAN)]: Hey!!! They're on to us!!! Snap out've it!!!
We gotta get outta here!!!!
[DR. ZIPLOCK (MARTIAN)]: <German Accent> Shhh! They don't know ve're
Martians.....
[CORPORAL PEZ (MARTIAN)]: How could they not know we're Martians?!!!
We're little green men with antennas!!!!
[DR. ZIPLOCK (MARTIAN)]: They zink ve're vearing costumes!!
[CORPORAL PEZ (MARTIAN)]: What a bunch've morons!! Let's clean these
bozos, they're too stupid to live!!!!
[FAT DRIVER LADY]: <Not hearing that> I would like an answer young
man...
[CORPORAL PEZ (MARTIAN)]: <Arming a rocket launcher> Have -I- got an
answer for -you-!

-- 5 Minutes Later

[LEIUTENANT GIGGYWIG (MARTIAN)]: Look, when a superior alien race
comes all this way to take over your world, certain laws of planetary
conquest apply!! For instance, when someone points a thermo nuclear
proton accelerator at you, it's a fair bet. You're about to become
toast!!!
[FAT DRIVER LADY]: I think you've made your point... Now siddown and
shuddup so we can go home!!!!
[LEIUTENANT GIGGYWIG (MARTIAN)]: Or in your case, a whole loaf of
toast!!!

-- Back to the real plot... If there is any.........

------------

(SCENE: Everyone, including the trio, sits at the dinner table in
silence, everyone staring at each other)

[TENCHI]: ..... So umm... How was... Work.... Dad.....
[NOBOYUKI]: Just fine... I'm uh, glad you finally got the nerve to
take, not just one of them but both of them to bed!
[TENCHI]: DAD!!!
[NOBOYUKI]: What?! You should be proud son!!!
[TENCHI]: <Whispering> Not in front of the strangers!
[NOBOYUKI]: ... Oh
[RAZZIER]: ... Are we, intruding or something? 'Cause we can leave
real quick you know.....
[TENCHI]: Nono, that's ok..... <Under his breath> I think...
[SHIKAERU]: Well! Umm... Hey I know!! How about we, er... Talk about
each other... Kind've a get-together sorta thing... Ehh... It'll help
bring up an appetite!
[TENCHI]: Yeah, I- I think that would be best... Besides, you still
don't know some of our names...

<Some quiet, but angry whispering is heard, and suddenly Razzier
shoves Arashi's face into a soup bowl>

[RAZZIER]: DON'T TALK ABOUT MY GRANDMA LIKE THAT FREAK!!!
[ARASHI]: <Soup covering his face> ARRGGGHH I SAID SHE WAS A WEIRD OLD
LADY!!! AND IT'S TRUE!!! ANYBODY WITH FISH EYES THAT TOSSES FREEZING
WATER AT YOU HAS TO BE A LITTLE QUIRKY!!!!!
[RAZZIER]: <Dunking Arashi's head repeatedly> SHUUUUT-UUUP!!!
[ARASHI]: <Suddenly brandishes the stun rod and zaps Razz 20 times over>
[RAZZIER]: <Eyes roll back into his head and hair stands on end>
[ARASHI]: BAHAHAHA!!! <ZAP> <ZAP> <ZAP>
[SHIKAERU]: Arashi!! That's enough for god sake!!!!!
[ARASHI]: SHUP!!!!! <ZAP> <ZAP>
[SHIKAERU]: ACK!!!!!!!!

<Everyone looks around the table with worried expressions>

[TENCHI]: Shik's right!!!! That's enough!! Put the rod down!!!!
[ARASHI]: MEHEHEHE!!!! <Arashi scampers towards Tenchi, electricity
leaping acrossed the tip of the stun rod> <Suddenly, in a flash, an
explosion knocks Arashi off his feet, and also knocks him out>

(SCENE: Black screen)

[TENCHI]: Nice job Ryoko!
[RYOKO]: Why thank you Tenchiii!
[AEKA]: Ryoko not now!!!! What if he wakes up?!
[RYOKO]: I'll just knock'em out again!
[AEKA]: What if he gets to Tenchi before you do?
[RYOKO]: I'll get in the way then!
[AEKA]: We can't do that for ever! Help me!!
[TENCHI]: Ok! Ok! Let's bring him over here! Whoa!!!

<A loud thunk is heard>

[TENCHI]: Ok ok, back him up! <THUD> Um... I hope we don't damage his
brain or anything.
[RYOKO]: Who says it wasn't "damaged" before this?!
[TENCHI]: I see your point... Ok, over to Washu's lab...

(Sound fades out for a moment, slowly being replaced with the normal
ambience of Washu's lab)

[ARASHI]: <Blinking and forcing his eyes open bit by bit> Ohhh...
Where the hell am I- HEY!! <Arashi pulls at his restraints> What the
hell!!!
[WASHU]: ... <Waits a moment> <Waits longer> Would you just give up on
trying to break them?!!
[ARASHI]: <Grumbles and continues to fidget and try to squirm free>
[WASHU]: <Grumbling irritatedly as well>
[ARASHI]: <Eyes bulge as he begins to scream and thrash around>
[WASHU]: <Glaring angrily at the source of the noise> <Washu scrambles
up to the restraining table Arashi is strapped to and proceeds to
knock him around a bit, finally managing to get him to shut up>
THERE!! Now I can continue the analysis...
[ARASHI]: <Waiting patiently for five seconds> HEY LEMME GO ALREADY!
I'm bored!
[WASHU]: <Shuddering violently and evilly hunching over her console as
she slowly turns around> Do you want to stop squawking, or do I have
to make you...
[ARASHI]: Hah!! Like you cou- <Arashi goes unconcious again as a
mallet comes into contact with his head>

------------

[TENCHI]: <Entering Washu's lab> Find anything yet Washu?
[WASHU]: <Looks at Tenchi threateningly from over her glasses>
[TENCHI]: Urp!! Washu-CHAN!!
[WASHU]: As a matter of fact I did...
[TENCHI]: Well... Uhh... Like?
[WASHU]: He's not human!
[TENCHI]: WHAT?!!
[WASHU]: Actually, his super-structure and several organs are slightly
more highly developed than a normal human's. He's more rugged, adapted
to a much harsher environment.
[TENCHI]: Well, uh... Any ideas on where he's from?
[WASHU]: I -know- where he's from.
[TENCHI]: Um, where?
[WASHU]: <Types a bit on her holo-computer, and soon a holographic
projecter raises from the floor, displaying a large star system which
consists of 14 planets> He's from the desert planet Adytum... From my
scans, the temperature maintains a stable 120 degrees during the
moment sunlight shines in an area, and during the night temperatures
drop to about 15 degrees.
[TENCHI]: Uhhh... Anything else?
[WASHU]: He's got a psionic stimulosis complex just behind the
occipital lobe.
[TENCHI]: Ahhh, thanks Washu-chan. I'll tell the others...
[WASHU]: Ok. Now shu!! <Washu ushers Tenchi out of her lab before
going back to perform more scans>

------------

<2 days later>

[ARASHI]: Really!! I won't shock anybody anymore! I promise!
[WASHU]: Ohhh I don't knooow...
[ARASHI]: I swear I won't!!! Please lemme go!!
[WASHU]: <Ponders for a long moment> Fine. But if you cause any more
trouble like that... I'LL TAKE ONE OF YOUR APPENDAGES FROM YOU!!
<Washu begins to snicker sinisterly>
[ARASHI]: <Wimpy tone> AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <Arashi stumbles over
several pieces of equipment while getting out the door>
[WASHU]: <Snickering stops abruptly> Now! Where is that archive...

---

[TENCHI]: Ok... Since those things are still out there you guys better
get on with your <irritated sigh> perimeter patrol...
[SHIKAERU]: Ok great! Let's move!
[SASAMI]: <Watery eyes> Only this time don't run over my cute
squirrels!!!
[RAZZIER]: <Swats Arashi in the back of the head>
[ARASHI]: Owww!! What was that for?
[SHIKAERU]: We'll try not to Sasami-chan!
[SASAMI]: Promise?
[SHIKAERU]: Cross my heart.
[SASAMI]: <Smiling brightly> Ok!
[ARASHI]: Let's get goin'!!

<The trio vaults into their "tank" and roll off, tearing up the ground>

<Ending Theme: Ghostbusters>

(SCENE: Blackscreen: The trio blasts several aliens dramatically to
the music before marching triumphantly back towards their transport.
Suddenly the Masaki "family" appears, screaming at them and running
towards them. The trio takes off running, the Masaki "family"
following in hot pursuit as various energy bolts, pots and pans and
such fly towards the trio)

-- End Transmission

-------------------
Wow! My second fic. I hope it was ok. I base my fan fics on what
readers want to see!!! And I can't do that if you folks don't gimme
any C&C!!! PLEASE send C&C to Arashi_01@yahoo.com!!

Some ideas and concepts borrowed from Patrick "Seion" Stewart. My
gratitude to him.

Arashi Tokay Productions Copyright 1998