Tenchi Muyo!: Enemy Unknown: Ch. 1- No Need For -More- "Visitors"...

-- An Arashi Tokay production.

--- Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tenchi Muyo!, AIC and
Pioneer does. X-Com is the property of Microprose. The characters
Arashi, Shikaeru, Razz are "mine", however, and may not be used
without my permission beforehand... Seion's characters, (If you don't
know who they are, read one of his fics.) are the property of... Ah
hell. Guess. But enough gloom. Tata-Cheerio and enjoy the fic!

------------

<Opening theme: Just Toki Wo Koete by Ayako Udagawa>

(SCENE: A high-tech transport starship streaks acrossed the starry
night sky, approaching it's base in Hawaii at 4320 knots.)

[ISAO RAZZIER]: Moonshine 302 to Omicron HQ. Omicron HQ, come in, over.
[TOWER OFFICER]: Roger Moonshine. Proceed to waypoint bravo, angels 55.
[ISAO RAZZIER]: Copy that HQ. Proceeding to waypoint Bravo. Climbing
to angels 55.
[TOWER OFFICER]: ETA 30 minutes.
[ISAO RAZZIER]: Almost home.
[ARASHI TOKAY]: Yeah, and just in time... Those bastards back there
are getting hungrier by the second...
[SHIKAERU KAMAYAMA]: Feeling a bit scared, aren't you Arashi... 'Oh
no!! Stay away Sectoid!! Don't gum me!!'
[ARASHI TOKAY]: Just because they don't have teeth doesn't mean they
can't shred you in seconds...
[ISAO RAZZIER]: Maybe so, but since when did they get their weapons
back?
[ARASHI TOKAY]: Point taken. Now would you watch where you're going?

<The starship narrowly misses an interceptor launching from the base>

[ISAO RAZZIER]: ... Point made.

(SCENE: The starship approaches the base on a now deserted island,
which was taken by the organization called X-Com... An organization
built for defense against alien incursion.)

[RAZZ]: HQ, this is Moonshine. We're starting our final approach.
[TOWER]: Roger Moonshine. Watch the wind sheers, over.
[RAZZ]: Roger...
[ARASHI]: Maybe we should check on those buggers back there...
[SHIKAERU]: Hmph. They ain't gonna get out. I know they won't.

<5 Minutes later...>
<A loud burst of plasma fire is heard from the rear of the ship
followed by a quaking explosion>
<Cue group face fault>
<A faint sound, like a car engine struggling to turn over can be heard>

[ARASHI]: Engine fail-safes aren't responding!!
[SHIKAERU]: OVERRIDE!!! OVERRIDE!!!
[ARASHI]: Overriding- HO-LY-SH-- My fault! My fault! Wrong button!
Let's see here...
[SHIKAERU]: YOU IDIOT!!!

<The crew screams as their engines flare to life and shoot them into
the air again>

[SHIKAERU]: <Over the engine's roar> I'M GONNA KILL THOSE LITTLE
BASTARDS, THEN I'M GONNA KILL YOU, ARASHI!!!!!!
[ARASHI]: THAT'S IF WE LIVE, SHIK!!!
[SHIKAERU]: WE'D BETTER!!! I AM -NOT- GONNA MISS THE NEXT EPISODE OF
EVANGELION!!!

<The transport nearly exits Terra's atmosphere, but reaches the peak
of it's half-legged engine burn and begins to slowly go into a dive,
heading straight for Japan>

(Note: This transport/starship was created for atmospheric, -and-
interstellar travel. Thus the power of the engines must be increased
greatly to accomplish interstellar travel and arrive at the
destination in one's life span.)

----

(SCENE: The Masaki Household. 7:03 PM. The family has decided to
settled down for the night and watch a movie, however a catch has
occured about what they were going to watch...)

[AYEKA]: TITANIC!!!
[RYOKO]: STARSHIP TROOPERS!!!
[AYEKA]: TITANIC!!!!!

<Tenchi sits on the couch shaking his head softly, head buried in his
hands, while Noboyuki, Washu, Mihoshi, and Sasami watch the argument
with bored expressions.>

[TENCHI]: And they were getting along so well...
[WASHU]: This really isn't getting anywhere...
[NOBO]: We could always review my archives-
[ALL]: NO!!!!!
[NOBO]: Hmph. No appreciation whatsoever.
[TENCHI]: Maybe we should just get a-

<Washu's holo-computer materializes before her, beeping out a warning>

[WASHU]: Hm. Incoming XC-384 Transport starship... Apparently on
fire... And out of control! Heh... I'll fix that! <Washu declared,
index finger in the air, before she began to type at normal speed.
(Which in fact isn't very normal)>

(SCENE: View from the living room window- the starship speeds towards
the ground, but suddenly stops abruptly, defying the laws of gravity
as several subspace rifts open around it and dispatch a few glowing
objects, which turn out to be grav pads)

[PUPPET A]: Hurray Washu!!
[PUPPET B]: You're the best, Washu!!

<Washu simply folded her hands behind her back and smiled proudly>

[WASHU]: <Chuckling> Oh, I know!...<Holding her index finger in the
air> I AM SUCH A GENIUS!!

<Meanwhile, the rest of the Masaki crew crowded the sides of the
window to get a look at the starship, while various comments such as
"What is that?" and "Wow!" popped up here and there.>

<Suddenly a panel springs open near the back of the ship, and several
pale beings scamper out into the forest, followed by two snake-like
creatures and one red, muscular biped with a purple face...>

[TENCHI]: What the..
[RYOKO]: 'The hell!!!
[AEKA]: My goodness...

<Another hatch opens, this time near the front...>

----

[ARASHI]: Dammit Shik this is your fault!!
[SHIK]: Hey, I wasn't the one who hit the Elerium fuel injector pumps!!
[ARASHI]: But you -were- the one who kept me from checking on them!!!
[SHIK]: -BUT-, I'm not the one who decided to put the guns in the rear
locker!!
[ARASHI]: What're you saying?!! That -I- put them there?!!! No way in
hell!!!!
<They both turn their head to Razz, who is sweating profusely>

[RAZZ]: UHhhh...

<Razz is chewed out thoroughly, with various gestures and comments I
will not mention>

[SHIK]: So what the hell are we gonna do now?!! I could barely even
see where we crashed.
[RAZZ]: Well, Mr. Pissy, first I think we should go arm ourselves...
Let's not forget, there's Sectoids, Snakemen, and Mutants out there...
[ARASHI]: <shudders> Shoot the snakemen FIRST. If we're not careful,
we could have 200 here in only a few days.
[SHIK]: <walking over to the gunnery locker> I heard -that-.

<The Operatives slip into personal armor suits and take a plasma
pistol side-arm and one Class 22 laser rifle each>

[ARASHI]: <Charging his energy collectors on the rifle> Lock n' load.
[SHIK]: <Husky southerner voice> I'm about to drop the hammer!!
[RAZZ]: I'm up for a little ass-kicking...
SHIK: And dispense some in-dee-scriminate justice!!

----

<Meanwhile, the gang cautiously approaches the transport, Tenchi and
Yosho armed with their bokkens, Ryoko in her battle garb and wielding
her energy sword, and Ayeka flanked by Azaka and Kamadaki>

[RYOKO]: I don't like this...
[TENCHI]: It -is- a bit creepy...
[AYEKA]: Yes... And what were those... Those... -THINGS- that ran into
the forest!?
[TENCHI]: I don't know...
[YOSHO]: Quiet!! Listen.....

<The commotion of armor being slipped on and weapons being checked
over can be heard>

[RYOKO]: Let me take a peek.
[TENCHI]: Be careful!
[RYOKO]: <Eyes shining> <Ryoko hugs Tenchi around the neck>
Tenchiii... If you're that concerned we can... Discuss it later...
[AYEKA]: <Fuming with her fists balled at her sides> RYYYOOOKKOOOO...
[YOSHO]: Both of you. Stop!... If we catch their attention, we might
regret it!
[RYOKO]: <Backing down slowly> Right... I'll be right back!!

<Ryoko flies to the top of the transport, then, kneels down and phases
her head through>

<Arashi, Shikaeru, and Razzier continue to arm themselves obliviously>

<Ryoko phases out and flies back down>

[RYOKO]: There's 3 guys in there, in shiny blue suits... They're
getting guns ready.
[YOSHO]: Hmmm... <Yosho begins to proceed forward cautiously>

<The commotion continues, until suddenly...>
<CLANK>

[ARASHI]: KUSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SHIK]: Ehhh... Sorry Arashi, I didn't mean-
[ARASHI]: GET IT OFF MY FOOT!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
[RAZZ]: You two... <Laughs> God...
[SHIK]: Okay... Now if I just turn this over here- OOPS!!!

<WHUMP>

[RAZZ]: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
[SHIK]: Ack!!!

<Yosho stands outside the boarding ramp with a puzzled expression>

<Suddenly the trio tumbles from the transport, armor, guns and all>

[ARASHI]: <Holding his head, dazed by the pain> Ohhh craaap.
Civilians... Let's hope to god this doesn't turn into -another- terror
situation.
[RAZZ]: Yeah... That last one was a complete slaughter... I can't
believe we didn't get their in time.

<The Masaki Crew exchanges worried glances while the trio rambles on>

[ARASHI]: Hey, didja hear about Joey? He got eaten by a floater last
week.
[RAZZ&SHIK]: You're kidding!!
[RYOKO]: AHEM!!!!

<The trio whip their heads around and stare at the family>

[SHIK]: Oh, hi!
[ARASHI]: Ohayo!
[RAZZ]: Ohayo konban-wa!
[RYOKO]: Right...
[TENCHI]: Umm... Who are you?
[ARASHI]: Marine Chief Arashi Tokay!
[SHIK]: Special Operative Shikaeru Kamayama.
[RAZZ]: Pilot Extraordinare Isao Razzier!
[TENCHI]: Ahhh... Okay... (Sounds normal enough..... I guess...) Why
are you here?
[ARASHI]: Well, you see... We're having some car- I mean er!!
Stardrive trouble... Seems ours has a large hole in it.
[RAZZ]: And it's spewing anti-matter fluid.
[SHIK]: And there's a bunch've carnivorous-Terran-hating-hungry-aliens
in that forest over there!
[TENCHI]: ... WHAT?!
[ARASHI]: Hmmm... Ok, time to simplify... I understand this is a bit
of a shock to some of you sooo... We're having engine trouble, the
engine is leaking, and bad guys are over there. <points to the forest>
[TENCHI]: No no no!! Back to the aliens!! What do you mean
carnivorous?! And -hungry-?!!
[ARASHI]: Oh, don't worry, they can't eat much.
[RAZZ]: <Whispering quietly, but audibly> But what about Joey-
[ARASHI]: <Whispering harshly> Shuuut uuup.....
[TENCHI]: <Sweats slightly> S-so I take it you three have dealt with
them before... Right? You know how to kill them?
[ARASHI]: Well, yeah, but...
[RAZZ]: It's not like they can't kill us.
[SHIK]: Being an X-Com Operative, we consider ourselves expendable.
X-Com isn't the place for a long term career. <The three of them nod.>
[TENCHI]: X-Com? What's X-Com?
[ARASHI]: Well, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill yo-
[RAZZ]: Shut up. X-Com is an organization established strictly for
defense against UFOs, Extra Terrestrials, <Most of the Masaki family
stirred slightly> and paranormal phenomenon... Hey, kinda like X-Files
huh? ^^
[TENCHI]: So you defend against aliens... Why were you carrying
-those-?!
[ARASHI]: Research.
[SHIK]: We take them to our bases and perform experiments on them!!!
<Evil giggle>
[RAZZ]: We take them to our labratories and examine their natural
armor... Basically trying to exploit their weaknesses. But, they do
have some trouble-
[WASHU]: <Smug grin> Your scientists can't figure -that- out easily?!!
<Snicker> Amateurs...
[ARASHI]: Anybody smell tha-

<Just then a '68 Shelby GTO rolled into the drive way, and out of it
stepped Mihoshi and Seion, who was carrying a thin box>

[SEION]: Hey... Who're the guys in the snazzy-outfits?
[TENCHI]: They claim to be something called... Uhh... X-Com Operatives.
[SEION]: Operatives? Heyyy! Always good to meet my own kind!! <Seion
grabs Arashi's hand and shakes it vigorously and leaves Arashi with a
crumpled hand and tearful eyes>
[TENCHI]: Well, they're not exactly your normal operatives...
[SHIK]: <Insane, kiddish voice> We're -special-! <Crazy giggle>
[RAZZ]: We're trained to kill extra terrestrials!! <The Masaki family
stirred at that comment>
[SEION]: Ohhhh! I see... How many have you guys bagged?
[ARASHI]: Well, two small ones, two medium ones, and one big one.
[RAZZ]: <Sigh> Two Sectoids, Two Snakemen, and a Overlord-class Alien.
[ARASHI]: I'm telling you, folks... I'm smelling something that
doesn't agree with-
[SEION]: <Not noticing> Hey, I just got us a movie! <The Masaki family
sighs in collective relief> You guys wanna come in and watch it?

<The trio exchange glances, knowing one of them was going to have to
stand watch>

[RAZZ]: Straws?
[SHIK]: Uh huh.

<A second later, Arashi was little less intelligent than a wobbling
pile of Jell-o>

[SHIK]: Oh come ON you damn wuss!! GET OFF MY LEG!!!
[ARASHI]: <Gripping Shik's shin> STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!!! STRUCK BY
LIGHTNING!!!!!

<This is about the time Shik picks the SD Arashi up and tosses him
into the transport>
<CLANK>

[TENCHI]: You guys sure are rough...
[SHIK]: Hmm I suppose so... But, Arashi is used to it... Aren't ya
Arashi?
[ARASHI]: I'm a little tea pot-
[SHIK]: Stop acting and get to your post.
[ARASHI]: <Whines> But I don't wanna!!!!!!!!!!!! <Shik points his
plasma pistol at Arashi's groin> ... Fine.
[RYOKO]: So... You're Razz... Right? The pilot?
[RAZZ]: <Brandishing a cigar> Yep!
[RYOKO]: Say, come here for a sec..... <Ryoko drags Razz over to the
side, and whispers discreetly for a moment>
[RAZZ]: <Looking off into space and listening, while nodding from time
to time> Ahhh, I see. Sure.
[RYOKO]: Great!!! Thanks a million.

<After grouping back up, the Masaki family, followed by the Operatives
enter the household while chatting... Arashi stares at the departing
group, whimpering>

[ARASHI]: <Insanity building> C'MON YOU F---IN A'S!!!!!! COME EAT
ME!!!!!! COME ON!!! I DARE YA!!!!!!!!!!!

<A warbling hiss is heard to Arashi's left>

[UNKNOWN]: Tsss nyaaaoooooh!!!!!!!!
[ARASHI]: Oh shit.

(SCENE: The family is sitting on the couches, along with the duo,
chatting.)

[SEION]: <Quizzical expression> So, you're saying you have more
advanced technology than some alien species?
[RAZZ]: Yeah... We pick up a lot from these snots who are trying to
invade us.
[SEION]: I had no idea that Terra had so much advanced technology...
How'd they keep it from us?
[RAZZ]: Well, it really doesn't matter if I told you, so... Well, the
world powers have known about all you people for a long time...
Especially the Jurains... In fact, they studied you for a long time.
Then we made safety measures to make sure no one found out... Like our
nice little hide-away on a manufactured island and-

<Razz continues, not noticing most of the Masaki family drifting off>
<Noticing this, Seion interrupts>

[SEION]: Oh yeah!! Hey, I forgot about the movie! <Seion takes out a
thin box labeled "The Killer" starring John Woo, and removing a tape
from it and inserting it into the VCR> Heh... My favorite movie!

<As the intro began to play, we can see Arashi outside, battling the
muscular, red biped who has unfortunately smashed his laser rifle to
splinters>
<Arashi charges forth, and is picked up by the biped and smashed into
the ground>
<The biped counters by flipping Arashi over and pulling his leg back,
before throwing him into a tree>
<Arashi lands, dazed by the attack, but his armor absorbs most of the
damage. Arashi counters by revealing a nano-tech grenade and pitching
it into the aliens gut, causing the alien to catch it>
<A bright flash is seen outside that floods the windows, but the alien
stands, strong as ever>
<Arashi on the other hand, sputters smoke before running from his foe>
<We can just barely see Arashi as he is being held up by the alien,
who is punching his lights out>

<A moment later, a bruised, bleeding, and battered Arashi is pushed
through the door by the biped>

[ARASHI]: <Coughing> Minor technicality!!! SHIK!! It's your turn!
[SHIK]: <Noticing Arashi's condition and shivering slightly> N-no it
can't be... Are y-you positive? There must be some mistake!!
[ARASHI]: You drew the next shortest straw! <Wheeze> Besides... I
think it got tired of beating me up. <Hack>

<Shik gulps audibly and shakily stands up before proceeding out the
door>
<Arashi crawls over to the group in a prone position>

[ARASHI]: <Hacking cough> Hi!

<The group stares at Arashi, blinking>

[ARASHI]: Ehhh...
[WASHU]: Oooh, interesting. Did you guys notice how his skeletal
structure is slightly caved on the cheek bone? And how about that very
well targeted slash acrossed his thigh muscle?? I simply -must- get to
see this thing!!

<Shik stands outside, nervously whistling, but no attack comes>

[SASAMI]: I wonder where -he's- going to...

<Arashi crawls towards the door>

[ARASHI]: Ohhhh gods... I need to find some hot n' cold... Fast!!
[SASAMI]: Well, you could try some of Ayeka or Ryoko's cooking. Takes
your mind off the pain...
[ARASHI]: Um... Ok. Sounds good I guess...
[SASAMI]: <Giggling> Ok, I'll be right back! <Sasami goes into the
kitchen, returning a moment later with a soup bowl, and hands it to
Arashi> Here you go!
[ARASHI]: Thank you, ah... I didn't quite catch your name, little one.
[SASAMI]: <Smiling brightly> Sasami!
[ARASHI]: <Grinning> Ah. Thanks Sasami-chan. <Arashi takes a few plugs
from the soup bowl> ... ...  ...... <Sip>  ...........................
<Sip, sip> ...... I can't feel my back, my left arm, or my legs. Is
this stuff... Uhh... Healthy?
[SASAMI]: ... Nobody knows...
[ARASHI]: <Smiling pleasantly> Would you all excuse me one moment?

<Arashi crawls out the door, and the same hissing sound is heard,
followed by a grunt of puzzlement and after that, light sipping>
<A moment later, a heavy thud is heard>

[ARASHI]: Neato!! Alien poison!!!

<Ending theme: I Choose by The Offspring>

<Ayeka and Ryoko face fault while everyone else attempts to contain
their laughter...>

-----------------------------------------

That concludes this issue! I couldn't find a sure-fire way to wrap it
up without droning on and on, so... Well, I'm open to all suggestions
and comments! Flames will be tolerated, and mind you, this is my first
fan fic EVER. Don't bite my head off... Well, that's it I guess.
Thanks for reading my fic...
E-mail: Arashi_01@yahoo.com

Arashi Productions Copyright 1998