Tenchi Muyo is owned by Pioneer LDC and produced by AIC. Seion is a product of my own creation as are Rookie Detective Megumi and Hans Erichson. Christmas was at one time owned by the Christian religion but was aquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney then broken up and sold off piece by piece. "Chiisa Hanna" is a flower shop owned by Kiyone. The following fic contain bits of highly hurmorous mayhem, ridiculous cartoon violence, brief nudity, nearly sexual situations, and graphic amounts of kawaii behavior. Parental discretion is advised but expected to be ignored. Any objections to my pairing Kiyone and Noboyuki together will be ignored. It is recommended that you get something to counteract all the kawaiiness in the scene where Sasami and Misaki tell the mall Santa what they want for Chrstmas. --Patrick "Seion" Stewart, Nov. 19, 1998 TV 13 Opening Scene: The Masaki Residence It's a snowlit morning outside of the Masaki Residence. The lake is covered in ice. Snow rest upon Ryu-oh's still emereald green leaves. The scene shifts to the inside of the house and into the kitchen where Sasami and her Mommy are fixing a nice breakfast for all in the house. Upstairs in Tenchi's room, Aeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi are all huddled together in a comforter listening to a spoken word CD called "Love Letters" with Ai Orikasa speaking at that moment. Or they would be if they hadn't been asleep.(No, they aren't doing THAT, all you hentai creeps!). In another room, Nagi is still asleep but is rather cold as evidenced by her shivering. Mihoshi, in yet another room, is cuddled up next to her kitten. In the master bedroom, Kiyone and Noboyuki are curled up together in bed. The time on the clock reads 6:52 am. In Washu's lab, Washu and Azaka are in the middle of a chess match that's been going on for the past five hours (you don't get tired in Washu's lab. Time flows as Washu see's fit in there.) By the fireplace, Ryo-ohki and Ken-ohki are asleep. And finally, on the couch, Kamadake and Megumi are fast asleep in front of the TV. Back up in Tenchi's room, the peace and serenity is broken up as a spherical projectile of crystalized H2O makes positve contact with the Crown Prince of Jurai's frontal cranium (Tenchi gets clobbered by a snow ball) Tenchi shoots right up in bed. Snowflakes fall upon Aeka's and Ryoko's eyelashes and hair so lightly that they don't even notice, making for a lovely picture. Tenchi then looks up at his assailant. It's Seion. TENCHI: (Trying not to disturb the girls) Seion! What are you doing? SEION: Just waking you up! Come and get me if you can! Tenchi darts outta bed, not bothering to put his shirt on and chases Seion outside, both of them not wearing much more than a normal person would wear on a hot summer day and hurling snowballs at each other. The Holiday Music begins and the Title appears on screen....... TENCHI MUYO TV: SEASON 2 SPECIAL EPISODE NO NEED FOR SANTA! Tenchi gets pelted by another snowball. And another. And another. And another. TENCHI: This ain't fair Seion! You have a whole pile of snow balls you already made before we started this fight! SEION: Go tell it to the UN! This is war! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA-(a snowball flies into the screen and is squarely placed in Seion's mouth. Now he's the one being pelted by snowballs. But not from Tenchi. As Seion turns to see the pelters, they seem to have the forms of Aeka, Ryoko, Sasami, and Misaki) AEKA: We have come to render assistance to Lord Tenchi! SASAMI: (Giggles) This is fun! (she hurls one at Seion) MISAKI: Oh-ho ho ho ho! (she lets one fly at Seion) RYOKO: I'll say! (she lobs a BIG one at Seion) SEION: HEY! That one had ice in it! This ain't fair! TENCHI: Tell it to the UN! (and all have a good laugh. Then the snow starts falling again.) SASAMI: Hurry up, you two! Breakfast is almost ready! I'm making cinnamon rolls, waffles, scrambled eggs, miso soup, hash browns, and sausages! Hurry before it gets cold! SEION: That's a big breakfast. What's the occasion? (they all start relocating to the dinning table as Sasami and Misaki go and get the food) AEKA: Lady Kiyone is letting us off work early today and taking us shopping for Christmas presents. RYOKO: Some how she dupped Washu and Nagi into running the shop until closing. (At the mention of her name, Washu, the adult version, appears) WASHU: Dupped nothing! It was my idea. RYOKO: Geeze, Washu, when are you going back to you regular form? WASHU: I don't think I will. Asaka prefers this form. He's not a pediphile, you know. (Megumi enters the room) MEGUMI: Hey, guys! Where's Kiyone? SASAMI: Oh! I almost forgot! (Sasami puts two trays together and hurries them upstairs, but on the way she meets up with Mihoshi and Tsunami) MIHOSHI: Ohaiyo, Sasami! Do you need help? TSUNAMI: I'll help her, Mihoshi. You go down and eat. And keep an eye on Seion. He's been a bad boy this morning. SASAMI: Was he ever! Hee-hee! Meanwhile, up in Noboyuki's room, the alarm goes off. 7:00am. KIYONE: Nobo, be a dear and shut the alarm off. NOBOYUKI: I don't wanna get out of bed. It's much nicer here. KIYONE: Well, if you didn't want to get out of bed, you shouldn't have put the alarm clock all the way across the room. NOBOYUKI: But if I get up, I'll get cold. KIYONE: Don't worry. You can always come back to warm up. NOBOYUKI: Well, I'd like too stay, but I should get up and get ready for work. (Noboyuki gets up and starts getting dressed. As Kiyone, who, by the way, is only in her birthday suit, stretches up in bed, the door opens and Sasami cheerfully says...) SASAMI: SUPRISE! (Sasami then notices Kiyone's lack of clothes and turns red from embarassment. Tsunami quickly covers her littles symbiote's eyes) TSUNAMI: (also turning a little red) Uhmm, I thought you would like breakfast in bed today, so I'll just leave it, uh..... KIYONE: (quickly getting up and almost putting a kimono on) Here, I'll take it.(she takes the tray) And please, don't worry. I'm sure you didn't see anything that would humiliate me. See you two later. (the door closes. Sasami and Tsunami start communicating telepathiclly) SASAMI: Why weren't Mr. Masaki and Kiyone wearing pajamas to bed? TSUNAMI: I'll let you into that part of our memory when you're older. SCENE 2: The Masaki Shrine Tenchi, Asaka, Kamadake, and Seion are preparing to shovel off the courtyard and the stairs while Sasami, Tsunami, and Misaki are making snowpeople. Yosho is looking on. TENCHI: Alright, who's gonna take the stairs? AZAKA: I'm not sure, Lord Tenchi. It will take two people to do it. KAMADAKE: Well, I'm not working with Seion. SEION: Why not? KAMADAKE: Because I don't want to get beaned by a snowball or have an ice sickle put down the back of my shirt again. SEION: You act like I just did all that to you. KAMADAKE: You did. It was five minutes ago. You had a good laugh. SEION: (thinks about it) Oh yeah. TENCHI: Alright, I'll work with Seion. But that still doesn't answer the question of who'll do the stairs. Any ideas? YOSHO: Why don't you flip a coin? TENCHI: That's good enough for me. Who's got one? SEION: I do. (and he produces a 50yen piece) Alright, 'Dake, heads, me and Tenchi do the courtyard. Tails, you and Azaka do the stairs. KAMADAKE: Alright...(he thinks about it for a bit)..HEY! Wait a minute! I'm not falling for that again! That's how I wound up shoveling the van outta the snow! SEION: I had to shovel out my car! TENCHI: I shoveled out your car. You paid me 600 yen to do it. SEION: Well, I did carry Mihoshi to the van. MISAKI: JUST FLIP THE COIN! LOOSER GETS THE STAIRS! ALL THE BOYS: Yes, my Queen. Seion flips the coin SEION: Call it! KAMADAKE: Heads! SEION: (catching the coin and looking at it) Best two outta three! (flips again) Best three outta five! (flips again) Best four outta seven! TENCHI: Come on, Seion, before we're doing best 143 out of 285. SCENE 3: Chiisa Hanna Kiyone and the girls are the decorations for the store up. Ryoko and putting the lights on the greenhouse. Aeka is decorating the tree inside while Washu is putting together a train that goes around the entire store. Mihoshi and Megumi putting a display in the window. Kiyone is talking with a customer who just happens to be Tenchi's cousin, Junko. KIYONE: So, what'll you be doing for Christmas this year? JUNKO: Well, we really don't have anything planned. I want to do something special for Taro's first Christmas. KIYONE: Why don't you come over to our house for Christmas? I'm sure the family won't mind having Taro over again. JUNKO: Family? Why, Kiyone, you sound like you've already married him and had six kids together. (she gives a little laugh) We'll be happy, if you're sure it's not a problem. KIYONE: Not at all. We'd be honored to have you over. JUNKO: Great! I'll go home and tell Hamato and Taro the good news! Bye! KIYONE: Wait! You forgot your pointsetta! JUNKO: Oopps! I forgot! (She picks her purchase up) Bye! And thank you! As Junko walks out of the shop, the scene pans up to Ryoko and Nagi putting the lights on the greenhouse. RYOKO: Come on, sis! Get those lights taped down! We have to get this done in the next hour! I wanna go to the mall and get some shopping done! NAGI: Look, Ryoko. I don't really care what you have to get done, but if you don't stop complaining, I'm gonna knock you off the roof. RYOKO: You and who else? I got Aeka and Tenchi in my corner! NAGI: All I need is ME! RYOKO: THAT sounds like a challenge! NAGI: If you say so! Let's do this then! (both of them put their dukes up and get ready to fight only to be seperated by GP service blasters weilded by Det 1st class Demi) DEMI: You two wanna knock it off?! We ain't got time for this sibling rivalry! Get the decorations up! NAGI: I guess if you say we have to, we must do it. RYOKO: Alright, alright. We'll do it! We'll do it! Nagi, hand me the tape over there. NAGI: You mean this ro-(as Nagi walks back with the tape, she slips and slides down the greenhouse roof) ollllllllllllllllll! Aiiiiiyyyyyyeeeeee--OOFF! (she says as she hit the ground) Arrrgggghh! My ankle! Ryoko and Demi go to the edge of the roof and look down at Nagi. Washu rides her train into Nagi who happens to be on the tracks. WASHU: Oh, I'm sorry. I Didn't see you there. What happened? RYOKO: Nagi fall down, go boom! NAGI: Very funny, Ryoko. How 'bout I give you a really big laugh do a header off the roof next time? RYOKO: Sorry. I just couldn't resist. DEMI: How bad is it? NAGI: I think I broke my ankle. WASHU: Hmm. Lessee. I can regenerate the bone easily, but you'll still have a lot of pain in it for a couple hours. You'll have to stay off of it for the rest of the day. NAGI: Great. That's all I need. Help me up. (Demi jumps off the roof and lands on her feet while Ryoko descends a ladder) DEMI: Come on. Let's get you in. (she and Ryoko help Nagi into the store) KIYONE: What happened to Nagi. RYOKO: Nagi fall down, go- DEMI: RYOKO! RYOKO: Aw, come on! Lighten up! WASHU: Nagi slipped off the roof and broke her ankle! Aeka comes out of the backroom after hearing all the comotion and yelling to see what's going on as Mihoshi and Megumi look to see for themselves. AEKA: Ryoko! Are you alright? RYOKO: Uh, yeah, Aeka. But Nagi is- AEKA: (running over to Ryoko and hugging her) Thank goodness. I couldn't face Lord Tenchi if something happened to you. RYOKO: Would you knock it off, Princess? We ain't married to Tenchi yet! AEKA: Oh, I'm sorry, Ryoko. I don't know what came over me. It's just that we are both so important to him that I..... RYOKO: I understand. (in Aeka's ear) But we don't do this in public! AEKA: Oh, right! KIYONE: Alright, just put her in the office and fix her up, Washu. Demi, you and Washu fininsh the lights. Aeka, you finish doing up the tree. Mihoshi and Megumi, get that window display done. Ryoko, Aeka, Demi, and Washu just stand there and give Kiyone this "Who are you to boss us around like you own the place?" look while Mihoshi and Megumi cheerfully go back to their job. KIYONE: Finish your work or you ain't going to the mall with me! RYOKO: Then we'll take a cab! KIYONE: And how will you pay the fare without your paycheck? RYOKO: Grrrrrrrr (sigh) Alright, alright. We'll be done soon. KIYONE: And if you hurry, I'll take you to lunch at that Mexican place you guys like. MIHOSHI: Alright! Let's do it! AEKA: I will endevor to finish within the hour, Lady Kiyone. RYOKO: Let's go, Demi! DEMI: Be right with you, Ryoko. All of the girls take off to finish their individual jobs. Demi stays back to talk to Kiyone. DEMI: You'd have taken them even if they didn't finish, wouldn't you? KIYONE: You know I would have. But I'd like to get all this done today. DEMI: You old softie. (Demi smiles and sticks out her tounge) SCENE 4: The Masaki Shrine Tenchi and Seion have almost cleared the snow off of the stairs.....all 301 of them. Seion is holding some sort of energy projector. SEION: Ain't beam sweepers cool? TENCHI: Come on! It's my turn to use it! SEION: No it isn't! It's still my turn. TENCHI: No, it's my turn! SEION: How you figure? TENCHI: I did 50 stairs, you did 50. I did 50, you did 50. I did 50, you did 50! That's 300 stairs! SEION: So you wanna do the last step? TENCHI: It's my damn turn! SEION: Whoah, Tenchi-kun! That's one profanity a year for you. You can do the last step. Tenchi takes the sweeper from Seion and zaps the snow off of the 301st and final step. Just as he turns it off, Sasami comes up to them as the Knights decend the stairs. Sammy has four small thermoses with her. SASAMI: Hey everyone! Look what we made for you! TENCHI: What is it? SASAMI: I made hot chocolate for you, Tenchi! And chicken soup for Kamadake, and some coffee with milk and sugar for Azaka! Mommy had to make Seion's Irish creame coffee. She won't let me touch the alcohol she put in it! TENCHI: Thanks, Sasami. (he takes a drink) Mmmmm. This is a little familiar. What's all in it? SASAMI: I tried a new recipie! I found it in your mom's cookbook! TENCHI: (smiles) Just like mom used to make. SASAMI: Yep! Your father found it a week ago! He's going to give it to Kiyone so she can use it to help make Christmas dinner! SEION: But you'll help her, right? SASAMI: (giggles) Sure! AZAKA: So, Lady Sasami, when is Lady Kiyone coming to pick you, Lady Tsunami and your Mother- SASAMI: Mommy. AZAKA: Err....Mommy....up? SASAMI: She'll be here in a few minutes! I'll see you later tonight! BYE! (she heads for the house) KAMADAKE: So, when are we leaving for the mall? SEION: As soon as they leave and we get dressed. TENCHI: What's wrong with what I'm wearing now? (he opens his coat and has that gray gi with a red t-shirt on underneath it.) SEION: Trust me. You need to change. TENCHI MUYO's Christmas Special: NO NEED FOR SANTA! WILL RETURN AFTER THESE MESSAGES FROM OUR SPONSORS. It's Chritmas time in a post-appocolyptic world. A group of roving badits is laying seige to a small house. When out of nowhere, Seion, dressed in a post- appocolyptic Santa suit and driving a Humvee starts balsting the brigands left and right. SEION: Ho ho ho, motherfu- UKYO: If you're gonna deliver the presents, deliver the presents. But if you want the best okinomiyaki made the way you want it, then you should stop by my place. Uchan's. Have it your way. SEION: And, for a limited time, you can get your own P-chan Christmas doll. There's four to choose from. There's Stocking Stuffer P-chan, Reigndeer P-chan, Tiny Tim P-Chan, and Post Appocolyptic Toy Soldier P-Chan. Only 300 yen with purchase of any okinomiyaki. But hurry, becuase after the Holidays are gone, so is P-chan. P-CHAN: Oink (in the subtitles below him it says "I want U-chan's") AND BANNERS! LOGOS! WINAMP SKINS! SAMMY AWARDS! AND EVEN A YURI AMANO SHRINE! ALL AT: SEIONLAND! home.earthlink.net/~alliemae We Now return you to the Tenchi Muyo Christmas Special: NO NEED FOR SANTA! SCENE 5: The Van The girls (Aeka, Demi, Megumi, Mihoshi, Misaki, Ryoko, Sasmi, and Tsunami) are in the van with Kiyone at the wheel With Megumi riding in the passenger's seat. They are all singing along with Tomo Sakurai's "Baby, Baby" with Demi on the lead vocals (I did have Tomo doing Demi's voice ^u^) GIRLS: .....Baby, baby! Ooooo Baby, baby! Baby, baby! Ooooo Baby, Baby!...... KIYONE: (as the song fades out) Is this fun or what? MEGUMI: I'll say! Hey, Demi, you have that holograhpic disguise Washu gave you ready? DEMI: Yeah, I just need to pick out a look for myself. (she hits a few buttons and turns into a Shayla-Shaya-ish looking girl) No, not this. (hits a few more buttons and looks like Mylene Jenius from Macross 7) Or this. (hits a couple more and turns into Sakuya) AHHH! RYOKO: ARRRRGGGGHHHH! AEKA: NOOOOOOO!!! DEMI: Hell no! (hits two more and turns herself back into the Shayla looking girl) I'll go with this. At least this form has personality! SASAMI: Let's do another song! (Sasami puts in a CD she has marked as "Chisa Songs" and puts in a number. The song is a Japanese version of "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause") SCENE 6: Seion's Car Seion is playing "More Human than Human" By Rob Zombie and having a good time. Too bad that Tenchi, Azaka, Kamidake, and Yosho aren't. Seion is driving with Tenchi riding shotgun. SEION: Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh! I am- TENCHI: Starting to get on our nerves! AZAKA: Agreed! SEION: Well, when one of you gets his license and is driving, you can listen to anything you want. But I'm driving, so Rob stays on. TENCHI: Fine.Turn here. Dad's building should be right here. SEION: What do you mean "should be"? Don't you know where your own father works? TENCHI: He's an architect. He's visiting the construction site today to make sure all of the plans are being followed and to answer any questions the builders have. SEION: Oh. I see. He's inspecting. TENCHI: There he is. Right on time! (Noboyuki gets in the car, moving Tenchi over) NOBOYUKI: Hello. (hears the music and doesn't like it) Can we change the music? SEION: When I drive, we listen to my music. When you drive, YOU can pick the tunes! The camera zooms in on the CD player. "Hey, Jude" by the Beatles is playing. When the camera zooms out, Noboyuki is driving. And there is much rejoicing, except for Seion. SEION: Okay! You've proved your point! Now let me drive! NOBOYUKI: After we get done shopping. Where are we going for lunch? SEION: (with his devilish grin) I know just the place. SCENE 7: Jalepeno's Mexican Resteraunt The girls are sittin in one of those big corner booths preparing to order their lunch. Sasami's face is completely hidden by the menue. Mihoshi is munching down on the chips and salsa. RYOKO: Mmmm. I see they've fried ice cream for dessert now. MIHOSHI: Oh goody! I love ice cream. SASAMI: Oh boy! Can I have some, Kiyone? KIYONE: Sure. But only after you finish your lunch. MISAKI: In that case, I'll get something light for lunch. DEMI: Is there anything you girls recommend? MEGUMI: Look! They've got tacos with your choice of beef, chicken, pork, shrimp, or tuna. DEMI: Hmmm. Those do sound good. AEKA: Here comes the waiter. Try to behave yourselves. In walks the waiter, Tenchi's friend Keiichi. KEIICHI: Hello, girls. Are you ready to order? SASAMI: I sure am! I'll have the chicken quesadia's! TSUNAMI: As will I. MISAKI: Make that three, dear boy. KEIICHI: Uhhh....yes ma'am. And for Her Highness? AEKA: Hmm....just the cheese enchiladas today. RYOKO: And I'll have the three meat burrito platter. KEIICHI: Very good, ma'am. And for our favorite customer? MIHOSHI: Ummee.....I'll have the steak and chicken fajitas! MEGUMI: Lessee! Ah! I'll have the combo meal! KEIICHI: And for our undercover feline friend here? (he smiles at her) DEMI: Uh...just the shrimp tacos meal. KIYONE: And I'll have the beef chimichanga. And for dessert, a round of fried ice cream. KEIICHI: Alright, ma'am. I'll be back with your order in about twenty minutes. (he leaves) RYOKO: You really should go for him, Demi! DEMI: No! How do we know we can trust him? KIYONE: My brother threatened his life and the lives of all of his Felicia, Dragon Pink, and Nuku Nuku stuff. AEKA: Yes. He really seems to have a thing for cat-girls. RYOKO: No, you can say it. He's got a Nekojin fetish! DEMI: And I'm his dream alien come true, right? RYOKO: You sure are! Maybe we shouldn't have told him about your disguise. Ha-ha! AEKA: Yes. Now he'll never get over you. Oh-hohohohohoh! KIYONE: And Seion selling him those pics of you didn't help. DEMI: He WHAT? Seion Makibi, you're a dead man! SCENE 8: Chiisa Hanna Washu, Nagi, and the cabbits are bored. There have been no customers all day since the rest of the girls left. They are trying to play cards. WASHU: I call! Well, what have you got? NAGI: Two pair! WASHU: Ha! My three of a kind beats your two pair. What about you guys? (she looks to the cabbits who are all playing the same hand) TETIN: Well, all we keep getting is four "ones" WASHU: WHAT? HOW? RYO-OHKI: Miyah! KEN-OHKI: Chiao! Chiao! TETIN: Me not know, but me like it when we win! ( as he starts gathering his earnings of jellybeans, Nagi puts her hand on the pile) NAGI: That's five hands in a row you've had four "one's"! You're a little cheat, and Nagi doesn't like little cheats, especially ones that work for the GP! TETIN: (gulp) What me wouldn't give for something to interrupt this life or death moment. As if one cue, the U-chan's delivery truck pulls up and out steps Arashi (another one of Tenchi's kendo teamates) dressed in a P-chan suit. He walks into the shop and brings the okinamiyoki with him. ARASHI: Who ordered U-chan's? TETIN: Yes, that'll do nicely.(the cabbits scoop up their winnings) WASHU: We did, my boy! ARASHI: Okay, let's see. That's one P-chan supreme, one Jusenkyo special, and three veggie deluxe. And your drinks. Two Cokes and three bottles of Carrot Juice. And you're Post Appocolyptic Toy Soldier P-chan and Stocking Stuffer P-chan. That all comes to 2400 yen. WASHU: Here's you money and a little somethink extra for you. See ya! ARASHI: See ya, Washu. Bye! (he leaves) Here's your P-chan, Nagi! NAGI: Now why would I want one of these little pigs? (she picks it up, looks at it, and then gets one of those Misaki looks on her face) KAWAII! (she hugs it) SCENE 9: outside of the Mall Noboyuki and his "boys" are walking into the mall. Seion looks a little disappointed about something. SEION: Man, I was totally lied to by Playboy Magazine! TENCHI: Well, what did you expect from a "Hooters" in Japan? A room full of Mihoshi's and Ryoko's? They don't grow them that big in this country. SEION: Yeah, well I wish I new before hand that they were all built like Aeka! TENCHI: Hey! That's my girlfriend there! NOBOYUKI: Stop grumbling, boys. We gotta get some shopping done. (Looks at his watch) We'll all meet back here in three hours. TENCHI: Alright, Dad. (all leave except Seion and Tenchi) Uh, Seion, I need a little advice. What kind of gift do you get a girl that you're in love with? Or girls in my case? SEION: That depends on the individual lady, but just remember one thing: If you value your life, you'll avoid anything practical and get something sentimental. TENCHI: In other words, flowers, clothes, jewelry, and perfume. SEION: And a small box of candy never hurts. TENCHI: Right. I can kiss that motorcycle I've been saving for good-bye. SEION: That's the spirit! SCENE 10: Santa! A long line of kids and their Mommies and Daddies are waiting to see Santa and give them their list (and lie to Santa about how good they've been in some cases ^u^.) At the head of the line are three blue-haired, pink-eyed women ages 10, 40, and 20,000. Some annoying pink haired little brat-girl is threatening Santa as we come up to him. SASAMI: Oh boy! This'll be fun! Are you really gonna do this to, Mommy? MISAKI: Sure! This'll be so adorable! SASAMI: You should do it to, Tsunami. TSUNAMI: If you say it's fun, count me in. Back with Santa though, it's another story. BRAT: You better bring it to me, Kris! Or I'll get together some powerful girls in sailor suits to level the north pole by telling them you where sent by the enemies of Queen Serenity! SANTA: I'll do that, little one. (the brat leaves and Santa talks to one of his helpers) Another over-bearing Sailor Moon fan. Make sure she gets a Kame Hame Ha in her stocking. NEXT! SASAMI: (hops up on Santa's lap) Hi Santa! I'm Sasami! SANTA: Why hello, Sasami! How are you? SASAMI: Great! How's Mrs. Clause? SANTA: Uhh, she's fine. Now, tell Santa what you want this year. SASAMI: Just on thing this year, Santa. But it's not for me. I want you to make sure that everybody at my house has a nice, peaceful Christmas this year. Oh, and I'll leave you a nice plate of cookies this year! What kind do you like best? SANTA: Uhh, suprise me, my dear child. I like them all. SASAMI: Great! I will! Arigato! (she kisses Santa on the cheek as the elf snaps the picture) SANTA: You're welcome. (to his elf) Get that girl a pony. NEXT! MISAKI: (hops onto his lap) Hi Santa! I'm Misaki! SANTA: Hello, Misaki. Uh, aren't you a little old to be telling Santa what you want for Christmas? MISAKI: OLD? (grabs him by the beard which happens to be real) Who are YOU calling OLD? (Santa tries to free himself but to no avail. Then he spies Sasami holding up a sign for him with what to say to Sammy's irrate Mommy) SANTA: Please forgive me, pretty young lady! I didn't mean to offend such a beautiful girl. I am so sorry. MISAKI: You really mean it? Oh (HUGGLES) you really are the nicest man in the world! SANTA: (gasping for air) ...thank you....(the elf snaps the picture) MISAKI: I'll see you later, you dear old man.(Misaki gets up and leaves) SANTA: (to the elf) Get that woman some prozac. NEXT! TSUNAMI: (slides onto Santa's lap) Hello, Mr. Clause. I am Tsunami. SANTA: Abababa......H-hello, M-M-Miss Tsu-Tsunami. What do you want this year, (gulp) young lady? Ask me for anything and I'll get it for you! TSUNAMI: Just make sure that Sasami is smiling on Christmas morning. Is that too much for you to handle? SANTA: Well, er....as long as she has a loving family, I'll assure you that she will be smiling on that day. TSUNAMI: Thank you. That's all I needed to hear. (she kisses Santa and the Elf snapps the pic) Farewell. (she leaves) ELF: Uh, Santa? Are you alright? SANTA: Fine, I hope. Get that girl's phone number. NEXT! ELF: Uh, okay, Santa. Whatever you say. TENCHI MUYO's Christmas Special: NO NEED FOR SANTA! WILL RETURN AFTER THESE MESSAGES FROM OUR SPONSORS. Noboyuki is surronded by all his video gear when he notices the camera is on. NOBOYUKI: Oh, hello! You ever wonder what to get that one person that you can't stand for Christmas? Show that someone how you really feel about them with the gift of DIVX movies! It's the gift that keeps on taking! The scene shifts to Mitsuki opening a gift. MITSUKI: Oh, gift from Kiyone. It looks like she's finally forgi-WHAT? A DIVX MOVIE? KIYONE, YOU LITTLE BI- NOBOYUKI: Yes, with DIVX movies, thoses people you can't stand the thought of will never ask you for another gift ever again. The scene shifts to Kastsuhiko Jinnai's throne room (actually Diva's) JINNAI: ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! I LOATHE YOU, MIZUHARA! AND YOUR WIND UP WITCH! And those harpies! Even my own sister sent me one! DIVA: At least you got something this year. JINNAI: That's easy for you to say! Rune sent you a box of candy with a note that says "All is forgiven, Let's be friends!" DIVA: It's the thought that counts. JINAI: I know! That's why I'm so pissed! NOBOYUKI: DIVX. The gift that keeps on taking. AND VISIT THE LARGEST TENCHI MUYO FAN FICTION SITE ON THE INTERNET AT: GenSao's Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction Archive We Now return you to the Tenchi Muyo Christmas Special: NO NEED FOR SANTA! SCENE 11: Aeka & Ryoko Shopping Ryoko and Aeka are trying to find that perfect gift for their Tenchi. AEKA: Now what would Lord Tenchi want? RYOKO: I'd like to know that myself. He's so hard to shop for. AEKA: He's a man, Ryoko, and men are just like little boys. They just play more dangerous games with bigger toys. RYOKO: And we can't let them outside to play with their friends. They get in trouble if we do. AEKA: That Seion is such a bad influence on him, even if he is a member of the Galaxy Police. RYOKO: But I'm a space pirate and that's alright? AEKA: Women don't usually consider rock fights as being fun, do they? RYOKO: I see your point. Tenchi is to no longer play with Seion. AEKA: Agreed. But still, what do we get the future Emperor of Jurai. RYOKO: What do you mean future Emperor? Are you planning to steal my Tenchi away? AEKA: What do you mean YOUR Tenchi? He's just as much mine as he is yours! RYOKO: Then why where you talking as if he was going to marry you and become Emperor? AEKA: Well, he will need two wives if he hopes to have the support of the military and the Jurian Council and so I just thought that you....might want to.....you know. RYOKO: You mean, you'd really let me into the Royal Family just like that? AEKA: Of course. I don't think Tenchi would love one of us if she drove the other away from him. RYOKO: What about the Council? Do you think they'd really let me in? AEKA: Mother- MISAKI: (from somewhere across the mall but out of sight) Mommy! AEKA: Mommy can be very, ahem, persuasive when dealing with the Council, and she seems to have accepted you as one of her own daughters. RYOKO: But I beat her up in that fight. AEKA: Yes, but you're the first person to ever stand up to her like that and she admires you for it. RYOKO: So, I'll be your sister then? AEKA: Only after the wedding. RYOKO: That's a triangular marridge where all three of us are basically married to each other, right? AEKA: Yes, but if you don't want to be......well, you know.....with me, I'll understand. RYOKO: We'll make that decision when it comes up, Aeka. (she hugs Aeka) AEKA: Thank you. I'm sorry for all the bad things I've ever said about you. I just... RYOKO: There, there (Ryoko then see's something that grabs her feline eyes) THERE! AEKA: No, Ryoko I need to say this so you'll know how I fee- RYOKO: NO! LOOK THERE! (she directs Aeka's attention to a handmade samurai sword set) AEKA: Oh my. They're beautiful. Though I'm not sure of the handles on them. They're just not Tenchi. RYOKO: Well, there's not much we can do about that, is there? YOSHO: (from behind them) You can always change them. AEKA: (gasp) Grandfather! How long have you been behind us? YOSHO: Up to the part where you discussed wedding plans. RYOKO: What do you mean we can just change them. YOSHO: Well, a samurai's sword was usually passed down to him from his father, but since styles changed, the samurai had to have a sword whose fittings could be changed to keep up with the current trends. AEKA: Ryoko, dear, I have an idea, but we'll need give up on that car we've been saving for a few months. RYOKO: I'm with you, Aeka. AEKA: Now here's my plan. Grandfather, we need you to....... SCENE 12: Miho-Kiyo Shopping Kiyone nad Mihoshi enter a shop with a sign that says "The Adventurer's Shop: Big Toys for Big Boys" MIHOSHI: So, whaddaya think Seion would want for a gift? KIYONE: It's all up to you, but make sure it's a gift that'll have some meaning to it. MIHOSHI: But Grandfather always say that men like practical gifts and Seion agreed with him! KIYONE: It's so nice that they told you that. And it's so sweet that you believed them. MIHOSHI: What's that s'pose to mean? KIYONE: It means men are sentimental idiots. Listen to them talk about when they were younger sometimes. Or to their fishing stories. Or to their hunting trips. Or to their sports stories. But most of all, listen to them talk about their wives and girlfriends. You'll see how sentimental they really are. MIHOSHI: So I should get a sentimental gift? KIYONE: No, not quite. You'll have to get a sentimental gift disguised as a practical gift. MIHOSHI: I don't get it. KIYONE: Here. I'll show you what I mean. (She takes Mihoshi to a display with a sextant made out of brass and cherry wood.) Like this. MIHOSHI: What is this? KIYONE: It's called a sextant. They used to use it to navigate ships across the ocean. Noboyuki taugh me how to use his, but the one he has is black and made out of plastic and aluminum. This one is so much nicer. MIHOSHI: So, do you think he'll use it. KIYONE: Are you kidding? He'll put this up on display in his office and not let anybody touch it ever again. MIHOSHI: Ah! I get it now! Something special! Why didn't you say that before? Now, what to get Seion....(she looks around and sets her eyes upon an Austrailian duster and then gets an idea......) Ah-ha! I've got an idea! (don't you guys dare say "Uh-oh") SCENE 13: TENCHI & Seion at the Jewery Store. See what it says above. That's where they are walking out of. SEION: So, are you sure they will like them? TENCHI: They'd love it if I gave them a lump of coal. SEION: Well, those rocks you got them technically were once a lump of coal. TENCHI: Heh! You got a point there. So, how come you haven't bought anything for anyone else but Sasami? SEION: I already have. I'm expecting it to come tomorrow. TENCHI: Really? From where? SEION: Now, now. I can't tell you what I got, but I can tell you that you can't get it on earth. TENCHI: Okay, I won't pry. I'd like to be suprised. So, we still have an hour and I've already finish my shopping. What do we do now? SEION: Lets see. Hmmmmm. (from Seion's point of view, we see him pan around the mall until his eyes fall upon an arcade. His view then zooms in on a "Street Fighter EX" machine.) That's what we do now! Come on! TENCHI: Alright. (they walk in and put their coins into the machine. Tenchi picks first) MACHINE: RYU! SEION: You would pick him. Try this on for size! (Seion picks) MACHINE: KEN! Round 1! FIGHT!! A few minutes later.............. KEN: SHIN-RYUUUUUUU-KEN!!!! MACHINE: Ken WINS! PERFECT!! SEION: Take that, fireball boy! Ha-HAAA! I rule! No one can stop me! A-hahahahahahaha! MACHINE: HOKUTO! SEION: Hey, Tenchi! You know that's Kiyone's character and (looks to his opponent) AHH! Kiyone! Wha-wha-what are you doing here? KIYONE: Humbling you! Now shut up and play! A little later......... MACHINE: Hokuto WINS! PERFECT! KIYONE: Oh, did I get another perfect? Sorry about that. SEION: You and that dern slide kick! (as Seion lowers his head, the screen shows Hokuto doing her "fan dance" celebration) Just for that, no gift for you. Well, maybe a small one. Okay, I guess a big one. TENCHI: How can you always beat him, Kiyone? KIYONE: Easy. I'm his sister and I know how he thinks. Plus the fact that he's a little wary of beating his sister and losing favor with her in case he decides to marry a certain partner of mine because he needs my approval to do so being the eldest female member of our family. SEION: I hate you. KIYONE: I love you too, Seion. SCENE 14: Chiisa Hanna Nagi is behind the counter and is getting ready to close up for the day. Washu is somewhere in the back The cabbits have run off to somewhere. Just then a customer walks in. He's a tall blonde haired guy wearing a trench coat, obviously a foriegner. Maybe from Germany by the accent he speaks with. NAGI: (noncomplacently) Hello. Welcome to Chiisa Hanna. How may I help you, sir. MAN: Uh, yes, young lady. I'm looking for bosai and I was told that this shop ithe best in the area to get them. NAGI: Well, it may be, but I don't really do this for a living so I wouldn't know. MAN: Oh, really? And what do you do for a living? NAGI: If you must know, I'm a bounty hunter. MAN: How nice. I'm a private detective myself. NAGI: Look! Are you gonna buy something or just talk?! MAN: I'm sorry, but I just thought that I'd- NAGI: LOOK! BUY SOMETHING OR GET OUT! MAN: You know, a pretty young lady like you should smile more. NAGI: I SAID-what? You think I'm pretty? MAN: That is what I said. Why are you so unhappy today? NAGI: Uh, well, I sorta hurt my ankle when I fell off the roof today and......you really find me attractive? MAN: Of course. Why do you ask? NAGI: Well, most men find me scary. MAN: What? A lovely flower like yourself? Nonsense! Those men are fools. NAGI: Really? (she smiles and starts blushing) Would you like me to show you our little trees? MAN: Why not. By the way, I didn't catch your name. NAGI: It's Nagiiiiisa! Nagisa. MAN: My name is Hans. Now that we know each others names, show me what you have in the way of bonsai. A few minutes later............ NAGI: And here's you change, sir! HANS: Thank you, my dear. And remeber, if you ever want to work together, you have my card. Good day. NAGI: (thinking for a second) Uh, Hans, are you doing anything on the 25th? HANS: No. I have no family and few friends in Japan. Why? NAGI: Well, there's this party............. A few seconds later, as Hans leaves the building, he comes across Washu. WASHU: Oh, hi Hans! HANS: Hi Washu. Thanks for telling me about Nagi. She's really something. WASHU: Anything for a guy who's keeping our existence here on Earth a secret. HANS: Well, You did threaten to have Seion and Ryoko tear me in two if I did. WASHU: No one would believe you anyway. (they both start laughing) SCENE 14: The Masaki Residence It's night time.The girls are decroating the tree and the rest of the house as well. Sasami is in the Kitchen, Ryoko, Aeka, and Kiyone are decorating the tree, Mihoshi and Misaki are putting up various decorations, and Megumi and Washu are working on "something" that the greatest scientific genius in the universe just whipped up. RYOKO: It's a good thing we got rid of the boys for a while. We don't want them in the way. KIYONE: Well, Ryoko, Noboyuki and Tenchi did this by themselves for 15 years. I though they could use a break this year. Noboyuki told me that Achika would always kick him out of the house while she did the tree up. She always wanted it to be special. AEKA: Just like you did tonight, Mrs. Masaki. KIYONE: Hey! We aren't married yet! RYOKO: Do you want us to start calling you Mom when we get married to his highness? AEKA: Oh-hohoho! Mother Ki- MISAKI: You'll call her Mommy too, Aeka! OH-hohohohohoho! MEGUMI: Where is my Kame-chan at anyway? MIHOSHI: Seion said they where going out doing "guy stuff"! RYOKO: What the hell is that supposed to mean?! Meanwhile, the boys are gathered around Ryu-oh with lights and a small power generator getting ready to do "guy stuff". Tentin and Ken-ohki are with them. TENCHI: Alright! Try them now! (Noboyuki plugs in the lights) NOBOYUKI: No, that didn't work! SEION: Hey! I found the problem! One of the lights is broken off at the socket.(he picks up the string) Tetin! Make sure the generator is off! TETIN: It off! It off! SEION: Are you sure? TETIN: Tetin sure! Tentin sure! SEION: Alright, I just don't wanna-(as he sticks a metal impliment into the socket to remove the broken bulb, he finds out that Tetin wasn't as sure as he had lead the GP Detective to believe)YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Meanwhile, Ryoko is looking out the window at Ryu-oh. RYOKO: Guy stuff, huh? Back at the tree, Yosho pulls his bokken from out of nowhere (where does he hide that thing anyway?) and knocks Seion from the cause of his misfourtune. KEN-OHKI: Chiao? TENCHI: Seion! Are you okay? SEION: Oh yeah! I'm FINE! I'm ALWAYS fine when I get zapped! Why you ask? ( he gets up smoldering) Oh, in case you didn't know, I was being sarcastic! ALL: Well DUH! SEION: Oh, Tetin? TETIN: Yes? SEION: Spell "off". TETIN: Well, uh..... SEION: SPELL IT!!! TETIN: Well, err......."o"? SEION: Thanks for your help! Why don't you get me a bucket of water to stand in next time? TETIN: Uh, okay! (Tetin heads off in search for a bucket of water) TENCHI: Well, it's ready now! Ken-ohki, go get the girls! KEN-OHKI: Chiao-chaio! A few minutes later............(all the girls are out there BTW) AEKA: What's the suprise? TENCHI: You'll see in about a minute. MIHOSHI: Oh wow! I can't wait. (she goes to hug Seion) SEION: Uh, Mihoshi, you'd better not. I'm carrying an electircal charge right now and have to wait till it goes away. (Mihoshi steps back) RYOKO: Aw, I can fix that! (Ryoko picks up Tetins bucket o' water an splashes the offscreen Seion ala Ranma 1/2. A large electircal discharge eminates from Seion's general direction) SEION: Gee, thanks Ryoko. Freezing is much better. AEKA: Quiet down! It's starting! NOBOYUKI: And in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, .....SWITCH ON! And with those words, Kiyone flips the switch, illuminating Ryu-oh in beautiful emerald green lights that reflect off of the ice which has bee given a mirror polish. AEKA: Oooooh! Ry......Ryu-oh.. It's.....It's......beautiful. RYOKO: That's Ryu-oh? Oh my, but it's wonderful. SASAMI: Oh wow, Tenchi! It's neato! RYO-OHKI: Miyaaa! KIYONE: It sure is. That was a great idea you had Noboyuki. NOBOYUKI: Thank you. I aim to please. MIHOSHI: Ain't it great, Seion?......Seion? (when she looks to Seion, it is apparent that he's frozen due to the fact that Ryoko dosed him with a little H2O) TENCHI: Great. Seion's an ice cube! MISAKI: Oh, we'd better get him inside and thaw him out. RYOKO: Well, I'll need some help. You get his feet and............. A few seconds later, inside the house, Ryoko's voice can be heard coming up to the door. RYOKO: (off screen) Alright. Here come the stairs. Watch your step. There you go! I got the door! Ryoko comes through the door followed by Aeka, Sasami, Misaki, Washu, Tenchi, Noboyuki, Megumi, and Kiyone. Ryoko shuts the door behind Kiyone. RYOKO: Well, now that that's done.......(Then there's a knock at the door) Who could that be at this hour? (She opens said door and to her "amazment" there stands Seion being hauled in by Azaka and Kamadake with Mihoshi right behind them.) Oh, sorry about that. I forgot all about you. SEION: (through his teeth) Th-th-th-this is f-f-f-f-f-for all-l-l th-those t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- t-t-t (Ryoko whacks him upside the head) Thanks. This is for all those times I mad you look bad, isn't it? RYOKO: Yep! MIHOSHI: Come on, Seion. Let's warm you up with a nice, hot bath. SEION: Will you be there? MIHOSHI: Sure! SEION: I don't seem to have a problem with that for some reason. RYOKO: I can name you two reasons he doesn't have a problem with it! TENCHI: Ryoko! RYOKO: Lighten up, Tenchi! I'm just having a little fun. (in his ear) And there'll be more in the onsen tonight if you know what I mean. Aeka and I'll be there tonight. It's up to you if you want to join us! AEKA: (in his other ear) The door'll be open, so show up if you know what's good for you! TENCHI: (to himself) Great. I've created a monster, and her name is Aeko! Ryoko's shaping up her act and Aeka's loosening up her's! What's next? Them agreeing to an Emperial Jurian Wedding? Much later that night, around 12:30, Tenchi is near the door to the bath. He's a little wary of going in, when a unseen force gentley nuges him in. The same unseen force closes and locks the door. As the scene shits to a sleeping Sasami, the covers pull themselves up and tuck Sasami in. Then the scene moves to Noboyuki's and Kiyone's room. As the picture zooms in to Kiyone's face, a ghostly hand appears and taps Kiyone on the cheek. Then a voice speeks. VOICE: Kiyone. Wake up, Kiyone. KIYONE: (waking up) Who is it? (she looks up at the figure who has awakened her) What do you A-Achika! TENCHI MUYO's Christmas Special: NO NEED FOR SANTA! WILL RETURN AFTER THESE MESSAGES FROM OUR SPONSORS. Tenchi and the girls are gathered around the living room. They are bored. RYOKO: So, what do you want to do today? AEKA: I'm not sure. What do you want to do, Lord Tenchi. TENCHI: I don't know. How bout you Sasami? SASAMI: I have no idea what to do. What about you, Mihoshi? MIHOSHI: Uh, I dunna. Kiyone? KIYONE: I haven't got a clue. Washu? WASHU: I got it! Let's go surfing! Seconds later, the gang is gathered around the computer, surfing the internet. WASHU: Look! I have my own Science Academy! MIHOSHI: And I've got an Order of Knights to defend me! AEKA: As do I! SASAMI: Wow this group of people really appreiciates me! KIYONE: They think I'm a goddess! RYOKO: RYOKO FOREVER! WHOO-HOO! Yeah! TENCHI: You won't belive what they wrote about us at this place! SEION: (voice over) Where can you find: The Ryoko Forever Fan Club Aeka's Fan Page #WASHU# #SAS# KOME The Temple of the Teal Tressed Goddess GenSao's Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction R&C Books Brazil's Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction Reviews Where No Fan Fic Goes Unpunished: K'thardin's Tenchi Fan Fic Reviews And SeionLand!? On the Anime Web Turnpike www.anipike.com Your guide to the Anime Internet. AND For the Best in anime and manga on the internet www.otakuworld.com We Now return you to the Tenchi Muyo Christmas Special: NO NEED FOR SANTA! Back to the scene we where just in.............. KIYONE: Achika! Is that really you? ACHIKA: Shhhh. Be very quiet. You don't want to wake him up, do you? KIYONE: Why have you come here? ACHIKA: I need to let you in on a little secret, but not here. Follow me. Here. (she "hands" Kiyone her robe and they leave the room) KIYONE: So, what's the secret, Lady Achika? ACHIKA: Please, just call me Achika. KIYONE: (fearfully) Look, if it's about Noboyuki, I'll stay away from him if you force me to, but I'll let you know that it'll break both of our hearts to do so. ACHIKA: Don't be silly. If anything, you two should get married sooner than you've planned. I'm happy for both of you. I told him myself that he should. KIYONE: How long he has known about you, uh, haunting this house? ACHIKA: (smiles) 15 years, ever since that winter's day. KIYONE: Well, if it's not that, then what? ACHIKA: This way. (she comes up to a door that has been locked for years) KIYONE: What's behind this door? ACHIKA: This was what some would call my sewing room, but it's where I did all those things that I didn't want the boys to know about. I never did let Noboyuki know where the key to it was, but I will now let you know. You see this floorboard here? (she places her hand on it) Lift it up.(Kiyone does so) Now, reach your hand all the way under the door. KIYONE: I feel a small box. ACHIKA: That's it! Now take it out and open it. (Kiyone opens the box) KIYONE: (taking the key out) And Noboyuki never knew about this? ACHIKA: He never came near here after the first two years since my passing. Come on in. There's more. (Kiyone places the key in the lock and turns it, opening the door. The room is immaculately clean and preserved.) KIYONE: Oh, my. Is this what you've been doing all those years. ACHIKA: Just every other afternoon. The rest of the time, I'm watching over the rest of the family. But enough of that. Here's what I needed to show you most of all. (she levitates a cherrywood box over to Kiyone) Open it.(Kiyone opens the box and reveals a beautiful Chritmas tree angel) Noboyuki was wondering what happen to this for years. He always lost it when we packed the ornaments up for the year so I took it from him and started hiding it to where his hands couldn't lose it again. (they both laugh) But I think it's time he found it again. KIYONE: Thank you, Achika. ACHIKA: And thank you for bringing back that boy I fell in love with all those years ago. (she starts to leave but then turns back to Kiyone) If you ever need to talk to someone, I'll always be in here. Just make sure we keep it between only the two Mrs Masaki's, alright? KIYONE: I will. Good-bye. (As Achika leaves, a tear of joy runs down her face as well as Kiyone's) SCENE 15: CHRISTMAS EVE The Extended Masaki Family is gathered in the living room. They are placing their presents under the tree as Sasami is up in her room making plans for later that night. Taro is with Sasami as they plan their strategy. SASAMI: Now, we'll place the cookies on the table here with a note for Santa telling him thanks for coming over and for all the nice gifts! What do you think, Taro? TARO: Ba-ba! SASAMI: Then it's decided! When everyone else is in bed, we'll sneak down and try to get a look at Santa! This'll be fun! (little does Sasami realize that Ryoko is at the door listening to the entire conversation. She hurries down stairs.) A few minutes later............ SEION: I am not going on the roof and pretend I'm Santa! TENCHI: He's right! It's icey and slick up there! We could get hurt! RYOKO: Alright then, Tenchi. (she looks to Aeka, nods to her, and the two of them procede to make with the puppy-dog eyes) TENCHI: Oh no! Don't you two even think of using those! RYOKO: But, we just want you to know that you'll be breaking poor Sasami's heart if you don't! AEKA: And all because you weren't willing to risk your lives to keep a little girl happy! (Misaki joins in) MISAKI: Oh, my dear little Sasami! Her illusions shattered at such an early age! TENCHI:Must......resist.......puppydog.......eyes!Willpower.....fading!Spine.....disappearing! ARRRRRRRGGGHHH! Alright. I'll do it. But not as Santa! RYOKO: (with the eyes again) Will you help him Seion? SEION: Your powers are useless against me! (Seion sits down) MIHOSHI: Oh, Seion. You don't have to go up on the roof if you don't want to.(she sits on his lap and hugs him) But if you do go, I'll have an excuse to warm you up when you get back. SEION: Well, since you put it that way.......Were's that Santa suit? WASHU: Oh, you won't be Santa. I've got another costume for you...... An hour later............... WASHU: Alright! You can come out now! (Tenchi and Seion walk out dressed as reigndeer. Seion has a very shiny red nose.) SEION: This is humiliating! TENCHI: I agree! KAMADAKE: (offscreen) Like you have room to complain! (Kamadake walks in dressed as an elf) SEION: So where's the jolly fat-ass at? AZAKA: (off screen) I'm not fat! (Azaka walks in dressed as Santa) Now let's get on that roof. SCENE 16: CHRISTMAS MORNING!!! Yes, it is that big day. And Sasami is letting everyone in the house know about it. It's also 5:00am. Well, she is just a kid, after all. Ryoko and Aeka's door is first. SASAMI: Wake up, Aeka! Get up, Ryoko! It's here! It's here! He came! He came! I got pictures! See? (she shows Ryoko a picture of Azaka dressed as Santa) RYOKO: What? (she thinks about it) Oh. That's right! Get up, Aeka! We got to get ready! AEKA: Alright. Let's go get breakfast ready! Next comes the door of Kiyone and Noboyuki. But just as Sasami gets ready to knock, Kiyone opens the door. KIYONE: Shhhh. He's trying to get a little sleep. We've got to get started on the food for the party. You go get the rest of the girls and meet me in the kitchen. SASAMI: Right! KIYONE: Oh, to be young again. (she smiles as she heads down stairs only to find Ryoko and Aeka in the kitchen making breakfast) Uh, what are you two up to? AEKA: We are preparing breakfast for lord Tenchi. KIYONE: Are you two sure that's safe? RYOKO: Don't worry. We've been studying! We now know what we're doing! You'll see. A little later up in Tenchi's room............. TENCHI: Do I have to? RYOKO: Don't make us use the eyes again. TENCHI: Alright (he closes his eyes and takes a bite. Then a look of shock and suprise comes over his face) This is......good! What happened? Did you two take lessons from Sasami? RYOKO: Oh, how did you guess that? AEKA: And there's more suprises waiting for you downstairs. Downstairs, the grand opening is in full swing. Tenchi opens up his gift from Aeka and Ryoko. He takes out the swords to reveal that they now have handles just like Tenchi-ken. TENCHI: Oh, wow. You two shouldn't have. I mean, you REALLY shouldn't have. RYOKO: Anything for you, Tenchi. AEKA: We knew you'd like it. TENCHI: Thank you. Both of you.(he takes a deep breath) Well, now open mine. (Ryoko and Aeka tear into their gift and find that they both have recieved rings. Aeka's is an Amethyst surrounded by diamonds, and Ryoko's is the same except with an Aquamarine with the diamonds.) AEKA: Oh, Tenchi. These must have cost you a fortune. TENCHI: It was the money I had been saving for a motorcycle. But you two are more important than any bike ever could be two me. RYOKO: Oh, my. I...(she starts crying) So...are these engagment rings? TENCHI: (jokingly) Sure, if you want them to be. (and with that, Aeka and Ryoko both embrace him) AEKA: I accept your proposal! RYOKO: Ditto! TENCHI: Hey now! Wait just a-(And Misaki hugs all three of them) MISAKI: Now lets discuss the wedding plans, shall we? NOBOYUKI: We'll have a big reception and everything! KIYONE: I have a restraining order to prevent you from planning this wedding, Noboyuki! NOBOYUKI: Heh-heh! Just kidding. (he picks his gift up) This is a beautiful sextant you got me. I'll have to find a place in my office to keep it. How do you like your gift. KIYONE: It's wonderful. (she reads the card that come with it) "100% silk, hand woven and dyed in Kyoto by a little old lady who has been making kimonos for over 75 years". I love you. MIHOSHI: Where's Sasami? TENCHI: She's playing with all the presents we got her. Imangine, we ALL got her magical girl dolls. RYOKO: I'm not sure if Ellis qualifies as a magical girl! SEION: Hey! Just because she's in a video game and not a TV show doesn't make her any less magical! MIHOSHI: Well? Open it! (Seion opens his gift and pulls out a duster with a picture of a white tiger airbrushed on the back.) SEION: Kewl! I love it! Well, now open mine. All of you.(they all open their boxes. Tenchi pulls out an obsidian bladed dagger. Ryoko and Aeka pull out similar blades, but made out of crystal.) TENCHI: This is.........This is a Torabushi's dagger! Does this mean I'm one? SEION: No. Not until you go on a tiger hunt. Then you can call yourself Torabushi. AEKA: I am not going on a tiger hunt! KIYONE: Don't worry. Those are ladies' daggers. It's traditional on our planet for a man's closest freind to present them to the woman, or in this case, women, that the man intends to marry. TENCHI: Why do I feel I have no say in this matter? RYOKO: Well, mainly because you don't! KIYONE: Well, let's see what you got me. (she opens her box) Oh my. Where did you find this? (she pulls out a crystaline flute) Mother's flute. I thought it was lost forever. SEION: After our parents death, GP had it put up in an evidence room. And, well, someone owed me a favor, and he happened to be a really close relative of a certain partner of yours who was really high up in the GP and so...... KIYONE: So you and Mihoshi got him to release it. Thank you! I'm starting to feel bad that all I got you was a watch. SEION: Hey, it's a Seiko! Now that's a good watch. MIHOSHI: Wow! I love this! (Mihoshi is holding a tiger skin cloak) It's wonderful! MISAKI: What is it with you and tigers anyway, Dear Boy? IF YOU THOUGHT THE FIRST TEN EPISODES OF THE SEASON WERE SOMETHING, YOU AIN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET! TENCHI MUYO! TV RETURNS NEXT WEEK (Check your local listings) CLOSING SCENE: The Dinner Table The entire cast is gathered around the table for dinner. RYOKO: Here you go, Tenchi. Have some apple pie. AEKA: And here's something to wash it down (she pours him some egg nog) TENCHI: Thanks. NOBOYUKI: Listen up everyone! Let's have a toast! (everyone raises there glasses) To family. RYOKO: To friends! AEKA: To loved ones. MIHOSHI: To good times! SASAMI: And fun times! KIYONE: To married life. SEION: To those that have gone before us to blaze the path for those who may dare to follow. (this is followed by the sound of a cricket.) TENCHI: And to all those out there who are reading this............... ALL: MERRY CHRISTMAS! The scene ends with the camera pulling away from the dinning table and through the window out to the outside ove the Masaki house with a lovely view of Ryu-oh all lit up and then the credits start rolling....................... Tenchi Masaki MASAMI KIKUCHI Ryoko AI ORIKASA Aeka YUMI TAKADA Sasami/Tsunami CHISA YOKOYAMA Kiyone/Megumi YURI AMANO Washu YUKO KOBAYASHI Mihoshi YUKO MIZUTANI Seion TETSUYA IWANAGA Noboyuki/Yosho TAKESHI AONO Misaki YOSHIKO SAKAKIBARA Nagi MIZUE OTSUKA Ryo-ohki ETSUKO KOZAKURA Ken-ohki AKIKO YAJIMA Tetin RIKA MATSUMOTO Hans Erikson SHO HAYAMI Azaka KENICHI OGAWA Kamidake WATARU TAKAGI Junko MIHO YOSHIDA Arashi ARASHI TOKAI Keiichi KEIICHI MASAKI Mall Santa CYRAQS K'THARDIN Mall Elf FENNY AND Tomo Sakurai as DEMI SPECIAL GUEST APPERANCE BY Megumi Hayashibara as ACHIKA Written by PATRICK M. STEWART Directed by EURIDICE PARTHENOS Produced by KEIKO MAUSER Executive Producer MAGIC THE CAT And to all of the fans out there Merry Christmas & A HAPPY NEW YEAR From the cast and crew of TENCHI MUYO TV: SEASON 2 Copyright 1992-1999, Pioneer LDC and AIC. All rights reserved.